1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,620 Janice Porter: Okay, hello, hello, and welcome to this 2 00:00:04,620 --> 00:00:09,060 week's episode of relationships rule. I'm very excited to talk 3 00:00:09,060 --> 00:00:12,360 to my guest today, Deborah eckerling. I call her Deb 4 00:00:12,420 --> 00:00:18,840 because she is the creator of the DEB method of goal setting, 5 00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:22,160 and we'll get into that in a minute, I do love a quote that I 6 00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:27,080 saw on your website, Deb, that says it's probably your motto to 7 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:32,180 get what you want. You need to know what you want. And I love 8 00:00:32,180 --> 00:00:37,220 that because I'm not sure I'm always that person, but it makes 9 00:00:37,220 --> 00:00:40,600 sense when I read it on your on your website. So welcome to the 10 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:41,080 show. 11 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:44,500 Debra Eckerling: Thank you so much for having me. I love 12 00:00:44,500 --> 00:00:49,600 talking goals, which you know, and this is something I say 13 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:53,140 probably every single day. It gets woven into conversation 14 00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:57,700 because it's true. It sounds like the simplest thing. But if 15 00:00:57,700 --> 00:01:02,280 you don't know where your passions lie, or what your big 16 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:04,440 picture goal is, what's going 17 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:05,880 Janice Porter: to get there? Yeah, how are you going to get 18 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:08,340 there if you don't know what it is? Well, the other thing that 19 00:01:08,340 --> 00:01:12,660 I, that I saw, that I thought was kind of interesting, was 20 00:01:12,900 --> 00:01:17,280 because, because true confessions here, I'm not a big 21 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:21,860 goal setter and and so you'd probably have a field day with 22 00:01:21,860 --> 00:01:26,540 me trying to, you know, turn me into one at this late stage in 23 00:01:26,540 --> 00:01:29,720 life. But maybe you've done that with other people. I don't know. 24 00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:35,420 Can you change someone to become a goal setter? 25 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:40,100 Debra Eckerling: This is the thing about the word goal people 26 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:44,800 think of it as a four letter word, and it is, but I think of 27 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:50,320 it as the good kind, and I had a friends five client the other 28 00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:56,800 day said I never thought that I would set goals, but you're 29 00:01:56,800 --> 00:02:01,380 rubbing off on me. So I think the answer is yes, okay, but you 30 00:02:01,380 --> 00:02:05,940 don't even need to use the G word, you know. Maybe you like 31 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:12,420 intentions. Maybe that is your your go to Word. Maybe it's 32 00:02:12,420 --> 00:02:19,380 just, you know, purpose education. So whatever word you 33 00:02:19,380 --> 00:02:22,160 like, use that one. Okay. It's kind 34 00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:24,620 Janice Porter: of making me think of like, you know, the 35 00:02:24,620 --> 00:02:28,700 universe will, will God, will universe, will your higher 36 00:02:28,700 --> 00:02:31,340 power? Will people use whatever word they want to use? It's kind 37 00:02:31,340 --> 00:02:34,100 of the same thing, making me think, as long as it works for 38 00:02:34,100 --> 00:02:35,840 you exactly. 39 00:02:35,900 --> 00:02:39,080 Debra Eckerling: And the only rules with goal setting is there 40 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:43,120 are no rules. But the idea is to figure out what works for you 41 00:02:43,420 --> 00:02:44,980 and do more of that. 42 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:48,460 Janice Porter: Got it okay. So I want to dive in a little bit to 43 00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:52,960 your method, because I saw something on your website that 44 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:59,260 said, SMART goals are dumb and Dev goals are smart. And I know 45 00:02:59,260 --> 00:03:03,600 for years, you know, people tried to say SMART goals were 46 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:07,320 the way to go, and smart was an acronym for the different 47 00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:12,900 definitions in the goal setting process. And I remember you 48 00:03:12,900 --> 00:03:16,740 doing those in many workshops over the years. So you have 49 00:03:16,740 --> 00:03:21,980 created your own system, and it is based on another acronym, the 50 00:03:21,980 --> 00:03:26,600 acronym for your name. Deb, can you explain that to us and and 51 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:30,500 tell us a little bit about why those are smarter than the than 52 00:03:30,500 --> 00:03:33,860 the SMART goals? I know it's a joke, but it's a it's all good. 53 00:03:34,340 --> 00:03:34,820 Well, 54 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:39,080 Debra Eckerling: let me answer backwards here. The SMART goals 55 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:43,600 are a tool. Okay, there's something that you can use to 56 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:47,620 achieve your goals, but it's not. The thing that bugs me 57 00:03:47,620 --> 00:03:53,620 about smart goals is that no one who teaches it created it. Okay? 58 00:03:53,620 --> 00:03:59,080 Was it was from like a thesis, so someone created it, yes, 59 00:03:59,140 --> 00:04:03,060 someone created it, but the people who teach it don't Okay, 60 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:07,500 so that that's my little pet VB thing on them, and if they work 61 00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:13,920 for you, excellent. I'm happy for you. Yeah, the thing that my 62 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:18,060 big differentiator is setting the foundation for your goals. 63 00:04:18,060 --> 00:04:21,620 Because most goal setting experts, I know it's audio, but 64 00:04:21,620 --> 00:04:26,480 I am using air quotes. Most of them talk about, you know, 65 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:32,900 getting to the end result, which is important, but going back to 66 00:04:32,900 --> 00:04:35,360 you can't get what you want unless you know what that is. If 67 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:39,740 you do not send the foundation for your goals, where are you 68 00:04:39,740 --> 00:04:46,480 going? Okay, so Deb stands for determine your mission, explore 69 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:52,660 your options, brainstorm your path. So we'll I'll do like Deb 70 00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:57,040 101, real quick. So D determine your mission is you can't get 71 00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:59,920 what you want unless you know what that is. And it starts. 72 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:04,680 With thinking about, what is the life that you want? So it is big 73 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:07,920 picture. It is big picture because it starts with, you 74 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:15,480 know, I want you be an expert in this area, or I am I want to be 75 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:20,040 a thought leader in this particular system, or what have 76 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,940 you. Or I want to build a business, or I want to be an 77 00:05:22,940 --> 00:05:26,720 entrepreneur, or even I want to just be the best employee ever, 78 00:05:27,020 --> 00:05:31,040 okay, and work my way up the corporate ladder, whatever it 79 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:34,520 is, or it could just be, I want balance. You know, maybe your 80 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:38,540 professional life is really successful, but you don't really 81 00:05:38,540 --> 00:05:41,620 have a handle on balance. So whatever it is, when you think 82 00:05:41,620 --> 00:05:45,640 about that life you want, it starts with that visual, okay? 83 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:51,880 And then I say, write your current bio and write it like 84 00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:55,840 aspirational, really leaning into the thing that you do that 85 00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:59,020 you love, because that's the persona you want to share with 86 00:05:59,020 --> 00:06:02,880 the world. And then you write a future bio, so you've got where 87 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:06,420 you are and then where you want to go, and future bio could be 88 00:06:06,420 --> 00:06:09,720 for the end of the year, or your next birthday, or three years, 89 00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:15,000 or whatever. Okay, future yes, that word means to you, so 90 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:18,600 you've got your starting point and where you're going, and then 91 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:22,160 write a mission statement. You know, we all have worked for 92 00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:26,120 people or companies that have a mission. So why wouldn't you 93 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:29,960 have one where yourself in or your business and or any 94 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:35,360 project, really, it starts with what is, what is that thing? Um, 95 00:06:35,420 --> 00:06:38,120 what do you want? What makes you unique? And then the all 96 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:41,860 important now, how you help? Because when you're doing what 97 00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:48,700 you do to help others, that's like bonus fuel. So my mission 98 00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:52,000 statement would be, and these are usually long and clunky, 99 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:54,640 which is why we do a motto from it, but I'll get to that in a 100 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:58,960 second. So mine is like, use my background, experience books 101 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:01,860 workshops to help people figure out what they want and how to 102 00:07:01,860 --> 00:07:05,520 get it so they can lead more fulfilled lives and, in turn, 103 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:12,780 help others. Okay, right? Yeah, my motto is goal setting 104 00:07:12,780 --> 00:07:17,400 simplified. So everything that I create, whether I'm doing a 105 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:21,200 workshop or through my books, it's all designed to be user 106 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:24,920 friendly, because changing your life is challenging enough, so 107 00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:26,600 it made the instructions really easy. 108 00:07:28,580 --> 00:07:30,560 Janice Porter: That's good. That's good. I like it. 109 00:07:32,180 --> 00:07:40,240 Debra Eckerling: So, excuse me. So in in the demo sphere, as we 110 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:43,660 were calling it. So the D that that is, that's set in the 111 00:07:43,660 --> 00:07:44,920 table, okay? 112 00:07:54,100 --> 00:07:59,200 The E stands for explore your options and so determine your 113 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:03,780 mission. This is the life I want explore my options is okay. How 114 00:08:03,780 --> 00:08:07,020 do I get there if I want to be a thought leader? What does that 115 00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:11,040 mean? Am I writing a book? Am I starting a podcast? Am I 116 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:16,440 building a business in service of the things that I know? So 117 00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:23,720 you want to look around and see what what you can create to get 118 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:28,520 you where you want to go. And I've got this exercise. And for 119 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:31,340 me, this is, like the all purpose of everything. I call it 120 00:08:31,340 --> 00:08:36,740 directed journaling. It is your solution to figuring almost. 121 00:08:37,580 --> 00:08:44,140 Gotta put the almost in, almost anything out. And I say set 122 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:47,800 three to 515, minute appointments with yourself, and 123 00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:51,220 during which time you are just answering a question or a very 124 00:08:51,220 --> 00:08:55,660 specific series of questions, what's next, or what do I want 125 00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:59,200 to create, or what do I want out of life? And just brain dumping, 126 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:04,500 and you do this for like, 15 minutes, a few times, and the 127 00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:09,120 the trick is, don't read any of your babblings until after 128 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:13,440 you've done it 345, times, and then you can go back and read it 129 00:09:13,680 --> 00:09:17,340 and find the common themes. Because something that you may 130 00:09:17,340 --> 00:09:21,020 have thought that you wanted you mentioned, like twice, and 131 00:09:21,020 --> 00:09:23,900 something else that you thought was just this really cool thing 132 00:09:23,900 --> 00:09:28,400 you're like writing about all the time, so when you get things 133 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:32,360 out of your head, you can look at them objectively and use that 134 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:34,700 to figure out next steps. 135 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:38,780 Janice Porter: Nice. Okay, do you work mostly with 136 00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:42,160 entrepreneurs, business owners. I 137 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:46,540 Debra Eckerling: do, I like to say my demographic is busy 138 00:09:46,540 --> 00:09:51,400 professionals, because we're the ones that always want more, 139 00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:53,740 right? Yeah, and we're 140 00:09:53,740 --> 00:09:56,200 Janice Porter: lifelong learners as well, and we're always 141 00:09:56,260 --> 00:10:04,860 looking to do new things. Yeah? Deb, so, Deb, I know that you 142 00:10:04,860 --> 00:10:08,460 have just recently launched your newest book, and I'm pretty 143 00:10:08,460 --> 00:10:15,780 excited for you this book, which is called 52 secrets for goal 144 00:10:15,780 --> 00:10:20,300 get setting and goal getting. Is that correct? Yes, okay, 52 145 00:10:20,540 --> 00:10:24,620 secrets for goal setting and goal getting so first of all, 146 00:10:24,620 --> 00:10:30,440 I'm curious what was the the germ of this book? How did it 147 00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:31,340 come to be? 148 00:10:33,260 --> 00:10:36,080 Debra Eckerling: Before we go into the book, I realized that I 149 00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:39,560 talked about what the D is and the E is, but not the B 150 00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:44,380 Janice Porter: not finish. Oh, my God, it's all good. That's 151 00:10:44,380 --> 00:10:49,000 what conversations are about, right? So feel free Go ahead. So 152 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:49,780 let's 153 00:10:49,780 --> 00:10:52,480 Debra Eckerling: back. Let's back up before we run forward. 154 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:56,680 Absolutely. So explore your options. Once you figure out 155 00:10:57,220 --> 00:11:00,960 what it is you want to move forward with, do a little bit of 156 00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:04,800 research. See who in your network does what it is that you 157 00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:08,880 want to explore. Have some conversations. That way you can 158 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:13,440 make an informed decision about what your next steps are, and 159 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:18,120 then brainstorm your behalf is all about getting all of the 160 00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:22,940 things out of your head onto the page, and then divide it into 161 00:11:23,180 --> 00:11:26,720 rehearsal and professional goals, long term and short term 162 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:30,980 benchmarks, action items, so all the different things that you 163 00:11:30,980 --> 00:11:35,360 need to do to accomplish it. And then you divide and conquer. So 164 00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:39,440 you put everything together, and then you make a plan to turn 165 00:11:39,680 --> 00:11:44,200 those goals into reality. So like I said, it's simple. Figure 166 00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:48,460 out what you want, explore what that means, and then make a plan 167 00:11:48,460 --> 00:11:50,500 to put it into action. Awesome. 168 00:11:50,500 --> 00:11:52,780 Janice Porter: Brainstorm it and make and make that plan, 169 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:57,220 alright? And this is all documented in your website as 170 00:11:57,220 --> 00:12:00,300 well, actually, in in some of the copy there, right? So it's 171 00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:04,080 easy to review it there. And I encourage people to do that, 172 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:08,580 because it's it. When you say it like that, it is simple. It's 173 00:12:08,580 --> 00:12:09,960 just sitting down and doing it. 174 00:12:11,700 --> 00:12:15,420 Debra Eckerling: The least simple part of creating a life 175 00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:20,480 is actually creating that life. But I am a firm believer that 176 00:12:21,020 --> 00:12:27,200 when, when you take the time upfront, yeah, when you really 177 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:32,120 think about what it is you want to create, you have the answers. 178 00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:35,960 You just need to take the time and ask yourself the questions. 179 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:38,480 Janice Porter: Yeah, great point. Great point, which 180 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:41,320 actually comes nicely back to the book, because I know that 181 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:45,100 the book is about questions and answers. So talk to me a little 182 00:12:45,100 --> 00:12:47,860 bit about how that this book came to be, and then a little 183 00:12:47,860 --> 00:12:50,860 bit about the book, because it's pretty it's pretty interesting, 184 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:52,120 from what I've heard. 185 00:12:52,660 --> 00:12:58,360 Debra Eckerling: Oh, it is. I've done a lot of Deb things, but I 186 00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:01,500 feel like 52 secrets for goal setting and goal getting is 187 00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:06,180 really the most dev thing that I've done. And in even though 188 00:13:06,180 --> 00:13:11,460 it's 52 secrets, I interviewed 60 experts in the areas of 189 00:13:11,460 --> 00:13:14,940 business, tech, food, entertainment, creative, and I 190 00:13:14,940 --> 00:13:18,600 asked them, What is your secret for goal setting or goal 191 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:24,920 getting? And that's what the book is. Is these 60 tips from 192 00:13:25,340 --> 00:13:29,000 people that you normally probably would not put together. 193 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:30,800 I would 194 00:13:31,220 --> 00:13:34,160 Janice Porter: Yes, and well, these are people that you have 195 00:13:34,220 --> 00:13:39,860 assimilated into this book that meant something to you for each 196 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:40,840 piece, right? 197 00:13:41,140 --> 00:13:46,180 Debra Eckerling: Yes, absolutely. So I my first 198 00:13:46,180 --> 00:13:49,120 traditionally published book, your goal guide, a roadmap for 199 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:51,760 setting, planning and achieving your goals that was out in 200 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:56,020 January 2020, so six weeks before the world got changed by 201 00:13:56,020 --> 00:14:00,420 circumstance, out came my book to help people embrace change by 202 00:14:00,420 --> 00:14:04,620 choice or by circumstance. And at the time, I was leading a 203 00:14:04,620 --> 00:14:10,560 Twitter chat, and shortly after, we all got land locked or home 204 00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:14,340 locked or whatever, my publisher said, why don't you start a live 205 00:14:14,340 --> 00:14:19,860 show with gold chat? And I have been thinking about it, and I'm 206 00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:24,080 like, okay, yeah, it was a very easy yes. And it started out, I 207 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:27,560 think the first two episodes, I talked to myself, and then I 208 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:31,040 started doing it as interviewing guests. And then the end of 2020 209 00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:35,720 I brought up a panel together, and that's the format I do now, 210 00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:39,020 but this was the end of the year. And how do you have a 211 00:14:39,020 --> 00:14:41,680 holiday party when no one can leave the house? Well, you bring 212 00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:45,760 people together who don't know each other. So that was the 213 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:51,160 start of gold chat, as it is now, bringing different people 214 00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:54,940 who, unless it's on purpose, have never met before the 215 00:14:54,940 --> 00:14:58,780 conversation, and that's pretty much what the book is, is 216 00:14:58,780 --> 00:15:03,180 bringing together. Different people, and they are all either 217 00:15:03,180 --> 00:15:06,480 first degree connections, friends or people I've 218 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:10,800 interviewed or people who I've interviewed who said you need to 219 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:14,280 put this person in your book, because I want to know what they 220 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:21,380 have to say, what their trick is. So it was the most awesome 221 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:26,240 evolution into a project and again, really the most me, 222 00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:31,760 because the secret to success is there is no one's secret, but 223 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:35,060 when you see what works for other people, you have this 224 00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:40,960 wonderful menu of inspiration and tactical advice that you can 225 00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:42,160 put into action. 226 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:46,000 Janice Porter: Well, I thought, first of all, pretty impressive 227 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:49,780 to me that Brian Tracy did your forward, I think in your book, 228 00:15:49,780 --> 00:15:54,580 wasn't it? He did the Yeah. And I think guy kiwaki Did the 229 00:15:55,180 --> 00:15:59,320 afterwards, the afterwards even, and also had a chapter in the 230 00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:02,820 book, I think, as well. Didn't Yes, well, 231 00:16:02,820 --> 00:16:05,340 Debra Eckerling: Brian Tracy was an intro through my publisher, 232 00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:11,280 so very excited and blessed to have that. And Guy hawasaki, he 233 00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:15,240 is the afterward, but his afterward is actually a tip. 234 00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:21,200 Okay, this is what happened, and why 52 secrets has 60 secrets in 235 00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:25,340 it is because I just got some wonderful responses, and I 236 00:16:25,340 --> 00:16:29,060 didn't want to turn anybody away. So I ended up putting a 237 00:16:29,060 --> 00:16:35,180 bonus tip in each chapter, in the nice and then put guy as the 238 00:16:35,180 --> 00:16:42,580 afterward. And when I started working, working on the book I 239 00:16:42,580 --> 00:16:48,100 started with, you know, proof of concept. So I emailed a handful 240 00:16:48,100 --> 00:16:52,540 or so of people who I trusted, who I knew had awesome things to 241 00:16:52,540 --> 00:16:56,320 say. So the first batch of the interviews that I got for the 242 00:16:56,320 --> 00:17:01,380 book were through email, and then most of them, though, were 243 00:17:01,380 --> 00:17:08,460 people that I interviewed via zoom and put their words into 244 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:13,980 each chapter. So it's a different way. It's the dead 245 00:17:13,980 --> 00:17:19,200 way, really, of bringing people together. But I love it and 246 00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:22,880 guide Kawasaki came because one of the people in my book, I 247 00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:27,320 mentioned that I really wanted to get guy for the book. And she 248 00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:30,020 said, Well, Larry just interviewed him, and Larry needs 249 00:17:30,020 --> 00:17:34,940 to be in the book as well. So after you interview Larry, ask 250 00:17:34,940 --> 00:17:38,960 him maybe he can do an intro for you. And I did, and he said, 251 00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:42,220 This is the email address you need to write to they responded 252 00:17:42,220 --> 00:17:46,900 within the day, and that sometimes all you really have to 253 00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:47,980 do is ask, 254 00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:50,620 Janice Porter: exactly, yeah, if you don't ask, the answer is 255 00:17:50,620 --> 00:17:54,280 always no, right? And so it's That's brilliant, and I think 256 00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:57,340 you divided the book into different segments, right? 257 00:17:58,180 --> 00:18:03,000 Debra Eckerling: Yes, there are seven chapters. So we start with 258 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:09,300 focus, and then we go into well being, and from there it is 259 00:18:09,300 --> 00:18:15,120 action, networking, communication, productivity, 260 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:20,060 teamwork. So did is that seven? I 261 00:18:20,060 --> 00:18:24,020 Janice Porter: think so, yeah, so is that? Is that, did you 262 00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:29,900 divide the people based on the answers they gave? Or did you 263 00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:33,620 just take part of some answers to be in the different sections? 264 00:18:33,620 --> 00:18:34,760 Like, how did you do that? 265 00:18:36,980 --> 00:18:40,480 Debra Eckerling: I and I have to correct myself. I said teamwork 266 00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:43,780 it's actually leadership and teamwork. That's the seventh 267 00:18:43,780 --> 00:18:47,440 chapter. I didn't put them together until after I did the 268 00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:53,920 interviews. Got it okay, and it was really interesting. There 269 00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:57,460 was one topic, and this is why it was great to do it as 270 00:18:57,460 --> 00:19:00,040 interviews, because there was one tip that I got from like, 271 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:04,380 three or four different people. And so for two of them, I asked 272 00:19:04,380 --> 00:19:09,960 them to adjust it okay for the other two, I for one of them, I 273 00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:13,620 said, Can we just jump on a new zoom? Because I know you have 274 00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:17,100 other tips. And he gave me another one, which was perfect, 275 00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:21,680 which I think I did with the other, with the other duplicate. 276 00:19:22,340 --> 00:19:27,800 And that in doing the interviews as I got further along of the 277 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:32,660 process, if I saw someone giving a tip that I already had, I 278 00:19:32,660 --> 00:19:38,060 would say, This is awesome, but can we get like another one, 279 00:19:38,060 --> 00:19:42,580 just for like safety purposes, so there was not repetitive. The 280 00:19:42,580 --> 00:19:45,040 other thing that I found was really interesting was that a 281 00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:52,420 lot of the tips could be in more than one category. So, yeah, go 282 00:19:52,420 --> 00:19:56,140 ahead. Sorry, yeah. So I ended up with networking and 283 00:19:56,140 --> 00:19:59,500 communication as two separate chapters, but most of them could 284 00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:00,660 be in one. Or the other 285 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:03,300 Janice Porter: well, I just find it interesting that so many 286 00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:08,460 there were duplicates in your experience, because it obviously 287 00:20:08,460 --> 00:20:12,900 shows that that you know, some things are definitely more 288 00:20:12,900 --> 00:20:19,560 prevalent with people that more common, right? That as their 289 00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:22,580 secrets for goal setting, right? They're more common ones than 290 00:20:22,580 --> 00:20:26,420 others. No, yes, 291 00:20:26,420 --> 00:20:31,040 Debra Eckerling: and no, I mean, and I let There are 60 original 292 00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:36,680 secrets, and they also come with an example to support what 293 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:44,200 they're doing. So I think one of them is Be kind and be prepared. 294 00:20:45,460 --> 00:20:49,060 Another is be able to look at yourself in the mirror. So 295 00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:54,700 similar, yeah, yeah, but not the same, yeah. And they really 296 00:20:54,700 --> 00:20:55,960 build on one another. 297 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,180 Janice Porter: That's very good. That's really fun. And I mean, 298 00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:01,020 you're like me, you're a huge networker too, over the years, 299 00:21:01,020 --> 00:21:06,360 so you probably didn't have a shortage of people to ask, and 300 00:21:06,360 --> 00:21:13,800 yet you wanted to make your your contributions diverse. And I 301 00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:18,840 think you got a couple of people that have some star quality that 302 00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:21,200 you weren't expecting to get, but you, through your 303 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:24,920 networking, you were able to to put into the book. Am I right? 304 00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:26,540 Yes, 305 00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:28,760 Debra Eckerling: and I think you're talking about the Patrick 306 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:30,320 J Adams example. That's 307 00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:32,000 Janice Porter: one example, yes, 308 00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:35,900 Debra Eckerling: but that's a really good story. And for the 309 00:21:35,900 --> 00:21:38,360 people in the book, and I'm really glad that that you 310 00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:44,620 brought that up, I wanted them to be people I would be friends 311 00:21:44,620 --> 00:21:48,520 with. You know, people who've got that helpful Spirit, who 312 00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:54,460 want not only to succeed, but to help others succeed. So as I did 313 00:21:54,460 --> 00:21:58,360 these interviews, I would ask people, Who else do you know who 314 00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:01,200 needs to be in the book? They need to be someone I would be 315 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:05,640 friends with and within the spirit of the book. And this 316 00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:11,580 actor, friend of mine said, I'm on it, and I get a text from 317 00:22:11,580 --> 00:22:16,140 him, watch for your email. And it was an introduction to 318 00:22:16,140 --> 00:22:22,160 Patrick J Adams, and I was supposed to talk to Patrick for 319 00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:24,920 like, five or 10 minutes, and we were on the phone for a half an 320 00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:26,300 hour. Fantastic. 321 00:22:26,300 --> 00:22:28,880 Janice Porter: So for those who don't know who he is, because 322 00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:31,760 there still are people out there who don't watch TV, believe it 323 00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:35,420 or not, please share. Oh, 324 00:22:35,420 --> 00:22:38,420 Debra Eckerling: so Patrick J Adams, he was the lead in suits, 325 00:22:38,900 --> 00:22:43,780 and he's also got some projects ongoing now. He's got this new 326 00:22:43,780 --> 00:22:49,360 suits re watch podcast, and he's on the new Yellowstone spin off. 327 00:22:49,780 --> 00:22:52,000 Janice Porter: Oh, okay, I haven't seen that yet. So he 328 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:55,600 wasn't just the lead, though, in he was also a producer, I think 329 00:22:56,140 --> 00:23:01,260 of the show. I think he and Gabrielle Mott were both 330 00:23:01,260 --> 00:23:04,020 producers of the show. So, no, 331 00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:06,480 Debra Eckerling: that makes sense, 332 00:23:06,540 --> 00:23:10,080 Janice Porter: yeah, yeah. So, I mean, he was, yeah, anyway, I 333 00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:14,220 mean, in suits, from my perspective, was it was filmed 334 00:23:14,220 --> 00:23:17,700 in Toronto, and it was a hit in Canada, way before it was a hit 335 00:23:17,700 --> 00:23:21,500 in the US. In fact, it was through through COVID that it 336 00:23:21,500 --> 00:23:24,860 got put onto Netflix, and that's when it soared, because everyone 337 00:23:24,860 --> 00:23:28,820 was home looking for something to watch. So, yeah, but, and 338 00:23:28,820 --> 00:23:34,400 didn't hurt that Megan Markle was in it as well. So yeah, yes, 339 00:23:34,460 --> 00:23:37,340 Debra Eckerling: it's one of those things, because I watched 340 00:23:37,340 --> 00:23:40,480 it when it was on USA Network with commercials, you know, 341 00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:46,120 yeah, me too. And the person who introduced us, Dylan can again, 342 00:23:46,180 --> 00:23:52,600 is an actor, nicest guy in the world. He is very tall, yeah, 343 00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:57,040 and bald, and he always plays the bad guy, yeah. And he is 344 00:23:57,040 --> 00:24:01,200 like the exact opposite, like the nicest, most warm person in 345 00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:05,760 the world, and just so and he gave me a couple other of the 346 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:10,140 interest to people in the book, but and then his tip, the one 347 00:24:10,140 --> 00:24:13,920 that Dylan gave, was about the power of collaboration. So it's 348 00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:20,600 not just people saying things. They're discussing the through 349 00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:23,900 their lens, the things that have worked for them that are so 350 00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:30,680 important in creating any sort of endeavor. And it's whether 351 00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:35,300 you're part of a team, whether you're a leader, whether you're 352 00:24:35,300 --> 00:24:38,180 a thought leader, whether you're an actor, whether I've got a lot 353 00:24:38,180 --> 00:24:41,080 of food people in there too, because I also 354 00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:46,960 host, yeah, but it's some 355 00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:52,480 so many of these things are relevant, and it doesn't matter 356 00:24:52,660 --> 00:24:58,960 what it is that you're doing, yeah, and I got this wonderful 357 00:24:59,020 --> 00:25:03,900 review of it. That said, I know it's meant to be a book that you 358 00:25:03,900 --> 00:25:07,980 could pick up and put down, but I couldn't put it down so you 359 00:25:07,980 --> 00:25:12,480 can read it straight through if you need a giant dose, or if you 360 00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:16,560 need advice in one of the categories, you can just go to 361 00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:18,420 that chapter or go to that person. 362 00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:21,080 Janice Porter: Excellent. That's that makes sense, and that's 363 00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:23,660 great. That's a good non fiction, business type book, 364 00:25:23,660 --> 00:25:28,280 right? Or self development type book, okay, so that book is 365 00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:32,360 available on your website, where? Okay, 366 00:25:32,420 --> 00:25:34,940 Debra Eckerling: anywhere. So now you can go to 52 secrets 367 00:25:34,940 --> 00:25:38,960 book.com and it's got all the links to all the places, or just 368 00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:40,160 go to your favorite bookstore, 369 00:25:40,460 --> 00:25:42,700 Janice Porter: perfect. So we'll make sure that's in the show 370 00:25:42,700 --> 00:25:46,480 notes as well. I do have to ask you, though about your food 371 00:25:47,260 --> 00:25:51,220 podcast as well, because I have so many questions about that. 372 00:25:51,220 --> 00:25:55,660 Because, number one, I think I read that you really weren't 373 00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:59,860 into food or cooking in, I don't know how long ago, but you 374 00:25:59,860 --> 00:26:03,840 weren't into cooking, and here you are now doing, are you 375 00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:07,560 cooking? Are you just doing a food podcast? Oh, 376 00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:10,740 Debra Eckerling: no, I'm cooking. Okay? I am a, I am a 377 00:26:11,220 --> 00:26:15,720 former non Cook, okay? And about, I think it's seven and a 378 00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:19,560 half years ago now, I got my mom an instant pot for Mother's Day, 379 00:26:19,980 --> 00:26:24,320 and she looked at it and said, is you learning how to work? It 380 00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:28,820 part of my gift, and we're hired to that, you know, I was the 381 00:26:28,820 --> 00:26:33,140 prep chef, you know, I love gutting things, yeah, the the 382 00:26:33,140 --> 00:26:36,860 joke was, if it's round, I could cook it, you know, like 383 00:26:36,860 --> 00:26:41,920 tortillas or pizza or pancakes or whatever. And so we watched 384 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:47,620 some videos together, and it was easy. We both really got 385 00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:50,800 involved and excited about the Instant Pot. But for me, it was 386 00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:55,780 like gateway, because I am gold person. I love that you can put 387 00:26:55,780 --> 00:26:59,920 in ingredients and go do things and be rewarded with a meal, 388 00:27:00,220 --> 00:27:05,580 yeah. So I went from that, and then I got an air fryer top that 389 00:27:05,580 --> 00:27:09,720 was, you know, like, I didn't know that I would love the air 390 00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:13,800 fryer, but I wanted to go step by step, and then an air fryer. 391 00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:18,600 And honestly, I use one or the other almost every day for 392 00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:22,340 cooking, because they're easy. But the other thing that I 393 00:27:22,340 --> 00:27:27,080 discovered is, boy, is there joy from that. You know, it is like 394 00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:31,880 the best way to walk away from everything that's going on, 395 00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:36,380 because you cannot be jacking email or texting and cooking. 396 00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:36,740 You 397 00:27:36,740 --> 00:27:39,860 Janice Porter: can't I know I get sometimes I'll be doing 398 00:27:39,860 --> 00:27:42,880 something and get sidetracked because my phone dings or 399 00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:46,300 something pings, and then I forget, oh, my God, you know, 400 00:27:46,300 --> 00:27:50,080 because you get carried away. So I totally get that. So did you 401 00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:52,360 grow up? Like, was your mom a cook? 402 00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:55,240 Debra Eckerling: Oh yeah, she loved to cook. I love going to 403 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:59,380 the grocery or I liked making the little platters. And then 404 00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:02,640 the summer before my senior year of college, I worked short 405 00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:06,000 order, which is when I learned to cut vegetables, yeah, okay, 406 00:28:06,180 --> 00:28:10,260 um, and when we moved, when my mom and I moved to California, 407 00:28:10,260 --> 00:28:13,740 we became roommates, and we just, we ended up staying 408 00:28:13,740 --> 00:28:18,600 roommates, and at some point, you know, I be probably during 409 00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:25,100 COVID, because We got so bored with cooking is and I got, I 410 00:28:25,100 --> 00:28:30,020 just really started to love this process. We we had a little bit 411 00:28:30,020 --> 00:28:36,860 of a role reversal. And I had written for the Jewish Journal a 412 00:28:36,860 --> 00:28:41,440 few years ago before your goal guide came out. And I got a call 413 00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:44,440 a few years ago from the editor saying, Do you want to write for 414 00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:49,060 us again? And I said, if I can write about food. And he said, 415 00:28:49,060 --> 00:28:54,520 Okay. And about a little over a year later, they said, Do you 416 00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:58,240 want to do a food podcast? Because they had seen my other 417 00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:03,000 one. Okay, so every Wednesday, I release a new episode of 418 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:06,720 teaspoons with Deb is bite sized conversations about food, 419 00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:12,240 cooking and community, and it's just it's fun. Every I'm not 420 00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:16,800 gonna say everybody loves food. Most people do not gonna say 421 00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:20,540 everybody loves cooking, because I don't understand the people. 422 00:29:20,780 --> 00:29:26,720 But as a former non cook, I get it, but it's almost like, just 423 00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:31,640 take, take some time, you know, like, like gifting yourself time 424 00:29:31,820 --> 00:29:37,940 to work towards your goals. Gift yourself the time to explore. 425 00:29:37,940 --> 00:29:41,140 And it doesn't have to be cooking, but if you have some 426 00:29:41,140 --> 00:29:46,720 sort of a hobby or joy that takes you away from electronics, 427 00:29:47,140 --> 00:29:53,440 go with it, because it is so revitalizing and refreshing. And 428 00:29:53,860 --> 00:29:57,760 I like cooking because you're rewarded, you know, with food. 429 00:29:57,760 --> 00:30:00,840 You know, there, aside from that, some. Of accomplishment 430 00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:02,760 you get to eat. So yeah, but 431 00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:05,100 Janice Porter: there's but it's interesting because there I'm 432 00:30:05,100 --> 00:30:08,340 curious, and I do have to wrap it up in a few minutes, but I am 433 00:30:08,340 --> 00:30:15,480 curious that you weren't into cooking. Would you say when you 434 00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:22,880 weren't into cooking? Were you then a foodie? Because there are 435 00:30:22,940 --> 00:30:25,520 foodies and there are people who are not they could they just eat 436 00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:28,280 because they have to get the fuel in them. And I don't get, 437 00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:29,180 yeah, 438 00:30:29,180 --> 00:30:31,040 Debra Eckerling: I don't get those people either. I always 439 00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:34,640 love food, okay? And like I said, I was very blessed. My 440 00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:37,520 mother always loved to cook. She always had the pot of soup going 441 00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:42,760 when I was growing up, too. And soup is my favorite, probably 442 00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:45,460 because it's the easiest. It's also my favorite thing to make 443 00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:48,100 because you make chicken soup, and you have chicken and you 444 00:30:48,100 --> 00:30:51,640 have soup and you can feed and it makes the house smell 445 00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:57,580 absolutely wonderful. But I think one of the great my mother 446 00:30:57,580 --> 00:31:01,920 was amazing, but one of the greatest gifts that she gave me 447 00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:06,840 was, you know, encouragement to follow my passion. Um, 448 00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:12,780 encouragement to help other people follow their passion. I 449 00:31:12,780 --> 00:31:16,620 was called to the cheerleader's cheerleader, but also that that 450 00:31:16,620 --> 00:31:20,840 love of food, because there's nothing like that. Well, if 451 00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:23,300 Janice Porter: you like me, if you grew up, if your mom was 452 00:31:23,300 --> 00:31:26,720 anything like my mom, there was Jewish food all the time, right? 453 00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:30,080 And you can't beat it if you grew up and then we didn't get 454 00:31:30,140 --> 00:31:33,920 that passed down, because when we were growing up, at least for 455 00:31:33,920 --> 00:31:39,860 me, chopped liver was full of fat and and, you know, things 456 00:31:39,860 --> 00:31:45,280 were rich and too fatty to eat, my kids wouldn't eat them. And 457 00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:48,640 so I did learn how to make some of this stuff, and I can make a 458 00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:51,220 mean chicken soup and matzo ball, but we don't do it that 459 00:31:51,220 --> 00:31:55,720 often, you know what I mean. But food was part of our culture, 460 00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:59,920 and I think that's where the love of it comes from for 461 00:31:59,920 --> 00:32:03,780 people. And so I get, you know, if you didn't cook, but you were 462 00:32:03,780 --> 00:32:07,500 around food, I get that, that, you know, you would love it. So 463 00:32:07,500 --> 00:32:08,520 I love that. 464 00:32:08,820 --> 00:32:11,760 Debra Eckerling: Well, in my job growing up, is I would ride my 465 00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:16,680 bicycle to the grocery, do the shopping, and then call home for 466 00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:19,920 someone to pick up the groceries. Because for me, that 467 00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:23,060 was, this is when I was in a high school that was fun because 468 00:32:23,060 --> 00:32:27,560 my friends work there, and that was being social around food. 469 00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:31,160 Then, yes, now being social around food is I get to talk to 470 00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:34,100 people who've got these wonderful stories about how they 471 00:32:34,100 --> 00:32:39,200 came to love food, and a few of them are also former non cooks 472 00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:45,700 who discovered it later in life, and it's, it's just, it's joy, 473 00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:51,460 it's Yeah, and I'll tie it back to goals. Okay, find something 474 00:32:51,460 --> 00:32:55,120 that it is joy, because that's where you're going to put your 475 00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:58,060 attention. And maybe it doesn't make money for you right away, 476 00:32:58,060 --> 00:33:01,980 but it's going to leak over into the other parts of your life. So 477 00:33:01,980 --> 00:33:07,560 you really want to tap in, do that happy factor and let that 478 00:33:08,820 --> 00:33:12,240 govern everything else that you're doing. So if you don't 479 00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:16,320 love your job, start a side hustle, but do something that 480 00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:23,240 really gets you excited and let that permeate through 481 00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:24,680 everything. That's 482 00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:26,900 Janice Porter: such a wonderful attitude to have too, because 483 00:33:26,900 --> 00:33:29,660 you never know where it's going to lead, even though you might 484 00:33:29,660 --> 00:33:33,020 be setting your goals towards it, you don't know where it's 485 00:33:33,020 --> 00:33:36,500 going to go. I mean, you can gear yourself, guide yourself 486 00:33:36,500 --> 00:33:39,860 one way or another, but and be open. I guess you have to be 487 00:33:39,860 --> 00:33:43,480 open to the possibilities of what it will bring. 488 00:33:44,740 --> 00:33:47,380 Debra Eckerling: Yes in a circling back to the beginning 489 00:33:47,380 --> 00:33:51,760 of the conversation, goal, intention, what do you want your 490 00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:56,740 life to be? Think about that and then set the foundation for what 491 00:33:56,740 --> 00:33:58,180 you want to create to get there. 492 00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:01,680 Janice Porter: Fantastic. This has been a joy to talk to you, 493 00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:04,800 because I love talking to people, and especially when I 494 00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:09,660 can see them light up with the things that make them tick and 495 00:34:09,660 --> 00:34:13,800 and so I will put in the show notes everything about your book 496 00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:18,960 and about your website. And I do encourage you my audience, to 497 00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:23,480 check out Deb's work and see if you need some guidance around 498 00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:26,360 your goal setting. And I encourage you to buy her book, 499 00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:29,300 because I think it's going to be joyful to read it as well. I 500 00:34:29,300 --> 00:34:33,320 can't wait. So thank you again. Thank you for being here, and 501 00:34:33,380 --> 00:34:36,680 thank you to my audience as usual. Appreciate you if you 502 00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:39,680 like what you heard. Let us know we always love five star 503 00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:43,540 reviews, and remember to stay connected and be remembered. Do.