00:00:06 Shreya: There comes a moment in many women's lives when what once defined us, our roles, our productivity, our identities no longer fits. It's not a breakdown, but a quite unraveling. And within that unraveling, there is often a deeper call asking us not to become something new, but to remember something whole.

00:00:29 Shreya: Welcome to the Soul Mirror podcast, where we explore the patterns, thresholds, and inner truths that shape who we are becoming. I'm your host, Shreya, and today I'm honored to be joined by Sharon and Rose Ceremonialists, author and a guide for women working through profound life transitions. In this episode, we are exploring the wholeness of women and what it truly means to reimagine ourselves when old identities fall away. This is a conversation for anyone who senses that the life they have built is no longer the life their soul is asking for. Welcome, welcome, Sharon. I'm honored to have you on my show.

00:01:13 Sharon Ann Rose: Oh thank you Shreya. I'm so honored to be in this sacred space with you.

00:01:18 Shreya: Thank you so much, Sharon. And like Sharon, I have the curiosity. Like when women first arrive at your work, what is usually stirring beneath the surface for them, even if they don't yet have the language for it?

00:01:35 Sharon Ann Rose: Yeah. You know what I I'd love to go back to is what you just introduced this conversation through. And when a woman first shows up, she's usually bumping up against the expectations of the outer world. And whether it's her culture or her upbringing or, you know, her own thoughts literally rattling around inside of her. And what you said was so poignant, which is, it's not that we're we're, you know, this we aren't noticing this discomfort and dissatisfaction in our life because we're being asked to be somebody new. We're actually noticing it because just as you just said, there's a deeper part of us calling. And she's quite familiar. She's been with us since the time we took our first breath and beyond. And so that's really what's at that kind of surface that's seen and not seen, known and not known. But a woman often comes to it through the angle that there's something in her life that she's got to change and she's got to, you know, do as our, um, personal growth culture often says, which is to become somebody new. And, yeah, you know, you are becoming somebody new by turning towards that which is very ancient within you.

00:03:01 Shreya: Yes. Like what I hear is that is like a quiet grief paired with a deep intuition. And that's something essential has left behind. And it's asking to be reclaimed.

00:03:13 Sharon Ann Rose: Yeah. Yeah. Mhm.

00:03:17 Shreya: Unlike also, many women are told that wholeness means having it all together. What do you see as the biggest misconception women hold about wholeness?

00:03:30 Sharon Ann Rose: Yeah, wholeness is quite the journey. It's something I think we will forever be learning and discovering more of ourselves until the, you know, our last breath. So from our first breath to our last breath, and if we can ease into that and really sink into the grace of that, then we come to understand that this isn't an end destination we're trying to get to quite quickly. It's oh, this is something and a way that we walk with for the rest of our lives. And that has a very different feeling to it. And it allows us to exhale, to soften and to become way more curious about what's been working, what's not working, what's outdated, what's calling to us now, and the honesty about the lifestyle changes and the different mindsets and different practices we're going to need to cultivate and turn towards, to be able to let more of this wholeness of who we are out. And that wholeness is, is literally an experience of so much more of the terrain, of what we are able to access as a human being. It's not just a three dimensional, even a five dimensional experience. It's, you know, a three hundred and sixty degree experience of not just ourselves, but of how we experience the fullness and, you know, incredible capacity of life to keep rebirthing itself over and over and over again. And that's what's happening inside of us as well. So that's how I would turn towards defining wholeness.

00:05:20 Shreya: Yes, I love that answer. And I think, like so, wholeness is not about perfection or completion. It's about belonging to ourselves, even in the unfinished places. Right.

00:05:32 Sharon Ann Rose: Mhm. Yes. Very much in the unfinished places for sure.

00:05:39 Shreya: And also like what do you notice about the deeper patterns that led women to feel fragmented or disconnected from themselves in the first place?

00:05:50 Sharon Ann Rose: Yeah. So going back to what we were just speaking about wholeness. So we get disconnected from this understanding that we actually are whole and we can be whole, and we have the right to be whole, and it is our birthright. And so what happens is we get, um, again, whether it's indoctrinated through our upbringing, our faith, our religion or spirituality, our own practices. That might be quite beautiful, but we can get in a real rote, like just this automatic patterning where we just keep playing out the same old aspect of ourselves, the same old identity, the same old belief patterns, the same way we show up for a relationship. We show up for our own self-care. And what happens is, is we're just this, like ingrained wheel that just keeps turning and turning and repeating and repeating. Rinse and repeat, so to speak. However, we're not doing the rinse because the rinse is really important at the end of every day, literally to rinse off who we thought we were, how we showed up that day, and to allow that next day, especially through our sleep, to help us to turn even more towards new patterning, new ways of being in relationship, new self identities. And when I say new, going back to what we began with doesn't literally mean a completely, um, different like hard. You have to effort at it. What it means is a newer holistic experience, new relationship with ourselves and with our understanding of life.

00:07:35 Shreya: Yes, I think it sounds like many women did not lose themselves accidentally. They were shaped over, over time to abandon parts of themselves in order to survive or to belong.

00:07:49 Sharon Ann Rose: Yeah, yeah. And with that, you know, abandoning of oneself comes a lot of shame, a lot of guilt and a lot of shame, as if we should not have done that that way, or we should have known better. And the reality is, that's what happens when you abandon yourself and don't even know it. You feel a lot of shame because there's that inner voice calling to you and you don't even know how to recognize her. You can't understand or even translate the whispers in that moment to realize that was a part of you you abandoned. We often just think, oh, that was, you know, somebody else's perception of us, but but really, it's us that we're abandoning. Nobody can. Yes. I mean, when we're young, absolutely. We can be abandoned without any doubt. And then that becomes an ingrained pattern, which we then do to ourselves. But as we get older and we mature and we wise and and we're ready to turn towards these forgotten parts and to say, yes, like, I'm going to welcome you fully back in because there's no part of me I need to shame anymore. That's it's outrageous. Really absolutely outrageous. We are all human beings. We all mess up. We're all, you know, we've got every, uh, aspect of us that is right here and needs to be right here, because it gives us a lot of information about how to be more human and how to really care for ourselves and care for each other.

00:09:27 Shreya: Absolutely. And also like, how does this fragmentation tend to show up in everyday life, especially for women in midlife or those who are moving through burnout, uh, motherhood shifts or spiritual questioning?

00:09:46 Sharon Ann Rose: Yeah. So that fragmenting, you know, it becomes, again, this automatic pattern, so much so that we often can't see it in ourselves. And it helps to have either people who are really close to us and deeply care about us, to be able to wake us up to how all the ways that we are ignoring our own needs, our own dreams, our own preferences. And so it begins in a much more childlike energy, where you can feel you're turning towards the little one inside of you, the forgotten little child, and really asking and and and letting that inner child get to play again. And that play can be as simple as expressing what you need to express when you need to express it. Not so much to others, but to and with yourself. It means being willing to like, show up in a day and and honor what you would really like. Like, hey, I really want to, you know, do this or eat this. And just giving a little bit more space in our daily rhythms and rituals to have the time to work with this so that we can start to learn, because there are plenty of things that that little child that first is going to want, that it isn't so much that we have to give our little child every little thing they ask for. And ask any parent who has a child, they know that that is not the path. However, it's in the listening and it's in the non-judgmental acknowledgement of oh, you want an ice cream? Wow. Wow. That's great. You know, like that's what you want. Wonderful. And then to be the, you know, also the mature component that's that might say, yeah, you know, let's not do the ice cream. That's not going to be ideal for your body today. Let's do something else. And I'm so grateful you told me you wanted ice cream. You know, so it's it becomes literally that inner dialogue that that comes forward and helps to, um, re uh repattern and re re, um, weave together all those, those forgotten and dismembered and, um, yeah, parts that got cut off and abandoned.

00:12:13 Shreya: Yeah. I think what you were describing, it feels so, so recognizable. Like success on the outside, but exhaustion on the inside and longing that won't quite down. And also like a like when a woman realizes she can't go on the way she has been. Where do you often invite her to begin? Not to, like, fix herself, but to listen?

00:12:45 Sharon Ann Rose: Yeah. So when a woman is expressing that she can't go on and she really is touching into that level of exhaustion, that the the bubble bath isn't going to fix, or the taking her out for her favorite meal isn't going to fix or, you know, uh, even though all those things are helpful, there's a way that she is requiring way more space. way more space in her day. With her own body, with her own thoughts, with her own breath. That is one of the biggest components is really creating space to breathe again, and to slow down that breath and to feel the breath moving through her system and her body. And though that sounds, you know, way too simple, that absolutely changes how she's going to show up. And it begins to create a much more intimate landscape inside where she can feel, you know, as breath. Breath is literally the universe or creation giving us another moment to be alive. And when we slow down and totally take that in and savor that and let that do all the the literal chemical and Biological things that it does when when oxygen moves through us, we become a different person. Literally in that moment, we're being repattern. And so that's when a woman is so exhausted telling her to do, you know, ten things or anything actually is too much. She can't. She's just requiring a, you know, that deeper longing to learn how to be with herself, where she is and how she's feeling. So really, it does begin with the breath. As simple as that.

00:14:46 Shreya: Yes. I think you are absolutely right. And like in the beginning, you also mentioned that sometimes the bubble bath or our favorite meals just couldn't, uh, like, uh, make it for, for us. And I think there is something really powerful about it, like beginning not with answers, but with reverence, with creating space for what wants to speak.

00:15:12 Speaker 4: Mhm Mhm.

00:15:14 Sharon Ann Rose: Yeah. And I love the word you're bringing in. I just want to highlight that reverence. You know it literally is this opportunity to move from overwork, exhaustion being numb um abandoning oneself to oh my God I can have reverence for this moment, for my body and being for myself and for this life. And that really does show up through oxygen. Good oxygenation. And what you said was space. Just more space.

00:15:45 Shreya: Yes. And also, like reimagining ourselves is not linear. When old patterns resurfaces or fear creeps back. How can women meet those moments without shaming themselves?

00:16:04 Sharon Ann Rose: Yeah, fear is going to creep back. It just does. It's fear has a lot of important medicine and wisdom for us. So I think even just starting there, knowing we don't want to get rid of the fear, because what happens is we end up fearing fear, and then we go into a battle and our nervous system becomes absolutely on, you know, on that kind of just high alert looking, where's fear lurking? I have to be the one to take care of that. I've got to be the one to get rid of it versus, oh, fear actually has an important feature. It's got an important component for us. It really does. It is that aspect that will, in the accurate moments, help to keep us safe because we'll end up making different choices from that fear. So it's got its it's got its very special, um, dynamic and medicine for us. So I think when we understand that we begin to have a different relationship and we don't fear fear. So when it shows up we realized, oh, the first thing we can do is really check our actual environment too. Is there anything really right now that I need to be afraid of? Is this fear old or is it current? And once we just take a breath and that's always the first place, then we can, you know, just go through like, oh, this is fear revisiting me. Because what I'm kind of trying to do right now, I'm taking a really big risk. And yeah, the fear is coming up to remind me that maybe in the past it did hurt. But guess what? I'm a new person. I'm a new woman. I can face that. It's not going to be like it was before. And so, you know, we just learned that those that slipping back or when the fear cycles back around, it isn't dangerous. We don't have to show up to it with our armor and our shield and our sword and go to battle. We actually need to be more curious. And an investigator of like, oh, you're here. Are you here to give me medicine? That actually really is important that I use to make a very wise choice. Or is this kind of an old an old an old date, so to speak? We're going on a date with an old, you know, an old partner. And it's it's just not accurate for us in that moment in time. And we can just gracefully, you know, keep moving in the direction that we know is going to feel a little edgy. But in the end, we're going to move past it into more of our wholeness, like we were talking about.

00:18:49 Shreya: Yes, I always do love the the way you explains everything. It's it's very easy to understand and very interesting to listen to. It's it's not like the usual way of explaining it. It's very, very interesting. And, uh, like I, I do have a reflection question for you because I always do love to ask you this questions for those women who are listening and who feels like her life no longer reflects who she truly is. What gentle question she might sit with this week.

00:19:26 Speaker 4: Um.

00:19:28 Sharon Ann Rose: Well, first I want to celebrate. If you are in that place where you're actually being honest with yourself and being able to say to yourself, my life no longer reflects who I feel like I am inside and who I want to be expressing myself as. So I first want to say, celebrate that. And what could you do today in face of that honesty, to celebrate the aspect of yourself that's finally feeling safe to come forward and come clean and say, this isn't this isn't working. And so to take a moment and whether it's write a thank you note to that part or have a have a ritual of reverence like you spoke about and dropped in. And also to then realize this isn't something you got to quickly take action. It's much more of what we were talking about space, breath, turn towards oneself and really hear where this is coming from, and then you'll know what the next question is. Usually it's something like, oh, then what does this part of me want to be doing? What does this part of me want to be expressing and knowing? There's going to be grief with that question. And it's really, really important to honor that grief until it's done, because you won't then take an action from your more rooted, sincere whole place. You'll take it from that part of you that's going to be reacting to the discomfort in the grief, because of course, we're going to be sad when we see, oh, I'm not living the way I want to be. It's going to take a moment to be with that moment. And that's kind of the the reflection I would encourage is to be with it, breathe into it, make space for it, celebrate the honesty, let the grief be there, and then know that out of that, very different choices will be made and they'll just keep coming. Softly, gently, and with the continued self-honesty and reverence.

00:21:42 Speaker 4: Yes.

00:21:43 Shreya: That's so, so amazing. Thank you for sharing this with our listeners. And I think, uh, like, wholeness is not something women need to or it's something they remember by welcoming every part of themselves back home.

00:21:59 Sharon Ann Rose: Yeah. Yes. So much acceptance, so much self-acceptance. And again, in the personal growth and spiritual movements, we can often just adopt Everything as another thing to work on, another thing to figure out, another thing to strive for. But this is none of that. This is learning how to be with ourselves. And out of that, you know, nature's design is to emerge differently. When you're actually with all of this, it's going to grow differently.

00:22:34 Speaker 4: Yes.

00:22:35 Shreya: And this is, again, a truly, truly powerful conversation with you. Thank you, Sharon, again for the gentleness and the depth you brought into this space today. I think your words feel less like answers and more like invitations and reminders. And I'm so grateful for your presence, your wisdom, and the care with which you hold women through these sacred threshold. And I think this conversation will always stay with me, and I know it will stay with my listeners, too. So thank you for being here.

00:23:09 Sharon Ann Rose: And thank you. Shreya. Thank you. I'm deeply taking that in.

00:23:14 Shreya: Thank you so much. And if after this, my listeners want to connect with you, like, uh, they want to learn more about you, then what's the best way?

00:23:24 Sharon Ann Rose: Yeah. Come on over to my website, Sharon Andrews. Com you can sign up for my newsletter. You can get some different free resources on there. Uh, you can purchase my book. My, my very first book just relaunched yesterday. We're talking in early February. And, um, you can also reach out if you want to chat more and learn more about my services and working with me.

00:23:51 Shreya: Yes. And I will make sure to attach all these details and links below, so that the listeners can find them easily and get in touch with you and know more from you. And for my listeners, thank you for joining us on this podcast. If this conversation starts something in you, let it linger. Let it breathe. And remember, sometimes the most radical act of transformation is simply telling the truth about who you are becoming. Until next time, be gentle with your unfolding and do not forget to hit the follow button. Subscribe and feel free to share your thoughts because your ears deserve premium content. Thank you.