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hello.

Well, hello and welcome to Review That Review, the podcast dedicated to reviewing

Reviews we're just like Cisco and Ebert only.

Instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious, scathing,

that is Chelsey Donn.

and that is Trey Gerrald.

And together we are.

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Chelsey.

Ooh, do you know it?

Today, we're gonna celebrate.

Here comes Halloween.

It's spooky Chelsey behind you.

my God.

I hate it.

Happy Halloween Queens.

It's another Halloween here at Review.

That.

Review and Chelsey and I have swapped positions.

Well, actually you were dressed as,

was waldo.

Walter?

Last

You were in like full drag though.

I'm wearing a scream shirt, at least

Oh, nice.

I love it.

I thought I would definitely do drag again for our second Halloween

I am, this is like, I don't know when this exactly happened.

I wanna say it was like six years ago when I decided that onesies, that was like the

You know, it's a, it's an all in one, all inclusive costume, and it's comfortable.

Sign me up.

I get that.

I love onesies, Chelsey.

How?

How are you?

How was Halloween?

Do you have big Halloween plans this year?

Like are you gonna do anything more than a onesie or are you really tapped out?

I tap out at onesie, but like I also do like a onesies.

I don't even wanna call it a party cuz it's usually more of a gathering.

We'll have a couple other friends, they'll also wear onesies costumes and we'll watch like hocus

Got

Yeah.

What about you?

Do you have any fun plans?

I feel like you're more into being fancy and getting dressed up usually.

very excited.

Obviously, Halloween falls on Sunday this year, but I am very excited for our

I thought maybe when we became partners I would get a little like behind

Do you wanna give a hint?

It.

It's a very famous child story.

That's all I'm gonna say.

Ooh, okay.

I'm gonna be thinking about that.

Hmm.

Well, I'm not gonna complain about not knowing, but I

do it.

Why don't we go ahead and,

Lodge Complaint.

Yeah, I wanted a Lodge Complaint about something that I find

Aye.

Aye.

I mean, I didn't know that this was actually a thing, and then all of a sudden

Instagram for people to be like, Look at your settings and make sure you're not like

And I'm just wondering, what are we doing with this information?

It's so cringy.

Someone recently slid into our dms at the review Queens.

And told us that Chloe, which we reviewed a little while ago, has some shady practices in their apps.

They can look at your texts and your emails or something like that.

I don't know.

It's very creepy.

Why is this not regulated?

Yeah, it reminds me of mi like I feel like a couple years ago that happened with

yeah.

like stealing all of our information or something.

It is very scary.

You would think that they would just be like a common denominator default setting where

It's, it's very tricky that they just sort of sprinkle that into like when

It's very sneaky.

It's so sneaky, so creepy.

And if anyone has any advice for, I would just like to be able to filter on the iTunes

Or does it even exist?

Is that like a fairy tale wishing upon a star and everybody is just shady?

And what are they using the information for?

Are they just using it for advertising?

Cuz that's a little shady.

But if they're using it for something scandalous, then that.

Very disappointed in Apple and the App store.

know.

Yeah.

I'm wondering what they even do with it.

I mean, probably, I mean, obviously something nefarious.

definitely nefarious.

Anyway, I'm over it.

I had to Lodge a Complaint officially cuz it does scare me and it is Halloween

that's just what happened.

But what about you?

Do you have something you wanna Lodge a Complaint about on this Hollows Eve?

Yeah.

You know, I, this occurred to me last night actually, so it feels very fresh,

It's on my list.

It's the worst.

I hate it and it like happens to me frequently, and I'm not gonna say it's

you do drink a lot of coffee

I drink a lot of coffee, and there was a point in my life when I did this

But we're not gonna go there.

I'm gonna go

not gonna blame you.

No, no, no.

We're gonna talk about the mind.

I can't turn my mind off when I'm going to Last night I was up until like six in the

And then I'm like, Well, let me scroll through Amazon.

And then it's like, I don't need to buy this.

Yeah, I've done that.

Yeah.

Ugh.

But then I'm like, I remember my mom would always say like, If you can't

And that will make you feel more tired.

Oh, that's interesting

I don't know if she just said that randomly when I was a child.

It's still in my head.

I don't know that that works.

It's like also we have the two dogs in the bed with us now and like they're like

heat to the equation as

just like, I can't fall asleep.

And then it's like, what do you do?

It's like, I don't have milk.

I'm not gonna go heat up milk.

Okay.

So, And counting sheep doesn't help me either.

It's like I have apps that play music or like, you know,

I do that.

But I, it's just frustrating.

I wish that I could just be awake when I need to be awake.

I feel like I'm tired throughout the day, but then when I'm trying to go to sleep,

That's exactly what I was gonna say.

I was gonna say to your mom's point, Why am I exhausted all day?

I feel like I could fall asleep standing up and then the second I go

I

That's a Complaint that I've, I've been wanting to Lodge as well and I'm

We're Queens.

How are we gonna perform if we can't?

know, I also feel like I don't wanna be like, I know melatonin

Like I wanna just be able to go to sleep.

Maybe I should cut out coffee.

There's no way I could cut out coffee.

That's like no non-starter,

I just called you honey.

I hate that, hun.

No, you can't cut out coffee.

It's like a part of your identity.

But maybe, maybe we can add a melatonin if we had to.

I don't know.

I know.

I just don't like it.

Anyone listening.

If you have any recommendations for how to both enjoy your coffee and your sleep, please call

I agree.

Concur.

All right.

Well, should we do it?

Should we jump into a spooky Halloween review?

Ooh, I'm ready Ra.

Let's do it.

Review, That, Review.

As you know, we are your trustee.

Review Queens.

We bring in reviews from the internet that we feel need to be inspected.

We redo the review, break it down, and rate the impact of the review on a scale

It's a very regal process that we like to call.

Assess that Kvetch.

with that in mind, what do you have for us today, Trey?

back.

Yes.

So spooky.

That was little throwback to one of our, um, after shows.

So if you Donn know what we're talking about, you have to join the Patreon.

I'm back.

And if my sister's listening, she is terrified.

All right, so today in honor of Halloween, I have a one dot Tripad advisor review

Oh, okay.

Pin, like, but you say pin and pin the same.

So is it like the writing utensil or the thing you.

Well, I'm wondering if you know what this is because it's Penn, p e n n.

Wait, is this the one that I went to when I was a kid in Pennsylvania?

in Pennsylvania.

It's in a place called Spring City.

Oh no, I don't think so.

I went to one in center, in More Center City.

Anyway, continue.

So this is called Pennhurst Asylum.

pictures look very scary.

It's near, Do you know where Abby Downs is?

Not.

Okay, got it.

All so this is a, this is written by Kate Lynn, spelled k a t e l y n n.

Okay.

This is their one review written on November of 2019.

So just keep in mind, this pandemic.

Here we go.

Ha ha.

I've never been so let down.

This place did a complete 180 and only one year in 2018.

My wife and I went to the Pennhurst Blackout night, the weekend after

It was pitch black and I was scared by every single actor who jumped, touched you, got in your

Oh my

pulled you aside, and even gave you sugar pills to swallow.

Dash.

Dash.

We loved it, but this year I was bored.

Last year, our biggest group walking through was six This year they

They only waited 30 seconds for the first 15 plus group to go in before sending in the next.

Where after about a minute, you immediately ran into the 15 plus group in front of

There was no spac.

actors didn't have time to hide and quote unquote jump out at you because there were

They just sort of stood in their rooms and shouted at you parentheses, which considering

There was also minimal contact, maybe a tickle or two, but no grabbing, no

And this was every single attraction.

I was so bored walking through all three attractions.

I wanted to take my phone out and check my Twitter feed, dash dash at least.

Getting pulled out for quote unquote breaking the rules would have been

I'm honestly devastated.

I had a such a good time last year, but something changed.

They clearly doesn't care about the experience anymore.

They just wanted to hustle through as many people as possible to make a buck.

I had an absolutely awful experience and now I have to turn around and tell

Wow, this is interesting to me.

This sort of reminds me of like the spice review, where they're like, I was dying, but I loved it.

You know?

Do you like haunted houses?

Is that something you like?

Absolutely not.

I can, I can't do 'em.

I can't do 'em.

I cannot do

Can't do 'em either.

I told a story in Patreon, I think last year on this time.

Why I can't do it and how terrible I like, Don't bring me with you.

If you think it's gonna be funny, I might end up like clawing my fingers

Cuz I'm so scared, which I did to Francis Schmidt in high school.

My apologies.

Anyway, this is not the case for Caitlin.

Katelin loves this.

Caitlin, the scarier, the better.

The sugar pills, that's a

Sugar pills?

of that?

No.

No.

heard of that.

That seems so illegal.

You know, I don't know.

A sugar pill.

Can just buy that on Amazon?

yes, they like do it instead of, I Donn know if you wanna like pretend you're

See, I always thought like, I thought like in theatrical productions,

Oh, maybe you would

they snort baby aspirin?

There's a couple of plays where you have to do cocaine on

Which obviously you probably, that's probably better for your body than snorting sugar,

don't think we should snorting like a, like a pixie stick, but I'm just

I would just be so afraid that like it, I don't know that somebody really creepy would

That's not a good thing for Kaitlyn, and that might not be a good thing

Well, especially as Caitlin points out, that's what happened

This was known for that.

Which I think is super interesting because Caitlin is pointing this

So if I were somebody that was going, this is why I always tell people Queenly tip, if

With thrill seekers like Caitlin, pre 2000 19, 18, 17, etcetera, that are like, This is amazing.

This was the creepiest thing ever.

So I think it's kind of cool that Caitlin told us what it used to be and what it is now

There's like no spoilers, but there are spoilers, but it's also enough information to

Which I think is sort of queenly,

Yeah, I think that's probably the value here is like if you have been

And it seems at least Caitlin's reasoning here is that they aren't spacing the

Is good,

that would be only way I could get in is if I can be squeezed between people.

But I can't even, like, I can't even go through the door.

Like I, It's hard for me to even wait outside group of people.

loud music is scary, The

All of it.

I can barely do Tower of Terror, which is now changed to Guardians the Galaxy,

Well, of course, well, It also occurs to me being separated.

I remember when, I wonder if we talked about this last year, but I remember

That's not it.

Sleep no more.

I remember when sleep No More came to New York and I had heard that you pile

So the person in the elevator will let people out on different floors, but they like,

And then they close the door.

So, Intentionally separating groups.

So I was like clinging on to David cuz I was so scared.

And that's not even a haunted house.

So the idea of being separated is like notorious at this haunted house.

That's terrifying to me.

Terrifying

interesting about this on the converse then is maybe if I were to take myself

There's gonna be like people back to back, like maybe in a weird.

Could be a positive for some people if you're a non throw seeker, which is interesting

Yeah, but I think the reason the opinion is sort of separating

They say they went to the blackout night, which was the weekend after

right.

so I wonder if that's a different event than whatever Caitlin has

Good slew thing.

But this was written November 2nd,

Yeah.

Maybe it took her two days to get her

means it wouldn't have been, There's no way that November 2nd is the weekend after.

October 31st.

So maybe they do a scarier version after Halloween, the weekend after,

maybe, I mean, I guess it could be the weekend after Halloween if

right?

No, I guess you're right.

I Donn know.

That's an interesting point.

I didn't, So they didn't specify whether or not this year they went to the same thing or whether

So that is interesting.

Good slew thing.

I didn't pick that, pick up on that, but that can make a difference cuz maybe Caitlin went

I can imagine how that would be anti climactic.

I mean, I think really the only Complaint here that I can see being a universal Complaint,

Again, this was written pre.

You know, pandemic.

So we think of crowds I think differently now than we did then.

But maybe wanting to know that there are gonna be like hoards of people in there that could be

I think nobody likes to go through an experience and see the people that are

Like there's something that really I think takes you out of.

If that's what's happening.

And so I think that that's a very valid universal Complaint.

Especially for a haunted house, I feel like if this is a

Right, That's

like they are, you go through these little themed areas where

So if they don't even have time to reset, that is a huge problem.

Yeah.

I used to do a show in Hollywood that was like a walking tour.

Have you heard of Accomplice?

They have a few of them in New York and we would be like texting each other all the time.

Like, Hold your group, hold your group.

If we knew that like the other group was running behind.

Cuz you never wanna have that experience, that like bottle Bottleneck

Bottlenecking.

Right.

that I really feel like has valid Complaint.

I do think that Caitlin is being truthful.

I don't think that they're being shady, especially because they're returning to the

If anything, I feel like that's where the emotion comes in, that I really love this

Honest,

I agree it, it does read us truthful.

To me, the only question I am raising is, Is this a blackout event?

Because maybe if everyone is all bottlenecked, but it's in pitch black,

They're just like walking around and like preparing to scare you because it's pitch black.

But I think the whole point here about I'd rather pull cellphone out and check my

Like that's how.

Extreme.

This has been, I mean, as the subject says, from the best to the worst, which

There's like

There was one.

Yeah.

and it's not super caps lock, which I think like can happen a lot of times.

with, yeah, these kind of reviews.

one stars.

Yeah,

Do we think that there's valuable, newer, unique information here?

I mean, I, I guess so.

Like with the coming season and what, what to expect, I guess we said that I'm, I'm

I mean, maybe on this particular day it was more crowded than it usually is.

Not saying that that's Caitlin's fault, but I don't know if like someone else came the following

I, I don't really know, like I can't tell if this is a lemon of an experience and

Or if this to expect.

That being said, I imagine that this haunted house, especially the Halloween

Well, good question.

So I'm looking, So for 2022,

Yeah.

it literally starts September 24th to November 5th.

All right.

That's a pretty long window, so it is possible.

The day that Caitlin went was just like not as organized as it should have been.

They let more people in than they should have, or whatever it is.

I mean, it occurs to me that like, clearly if you go

It's gonna be Right.

And this is posted November 2nd.

So,

So with all likelihood, they did go probably Halloween Day or close there,

Or the night after

or the night after.

Somewhere near there.

Yeah.

Chelsey, Have you ever been to Halloween Horror Nights or whatever?

Like in in la like in the park?

No,

Cause that is

away.

But like, you know, that's going to be.

Saturated with people, cuz it always is.

like you have to prepare.

It's like we talked about the Ren Fair.

It's like, you know, this is an

know what you're getting into,

everyone is going.

You have to like, maybe this isn't necessary, but in my estimation, if I want to do

I want to go maybe a little bit earlier so that it's less crowded.

I.

I don't know.

I, I'm learning from this review.

They have different offerings.

Some are blackout, some are not.

If it's very crowded, it could impact the experience and that from Caitlin's

So that makes me think maybe it, I don't know if that's fluky or common, but

I was gonna say.

high expectations.

Yes, and I think we kind of have to assume that for this kind of adventure that

Cuz we're sort of the uncommon denominator in this experience.

But I would imagine that most people that are going to something like this

Correct.

Or that they're not gonna be freaked out because like they have somebody

I don't know.

But I do think that there's a lot of valuable information here amongst an audience that

Is it humorous?

Not really.

I think the whole take my phone out to get in trouble and thrown out, that's winking at humor.

Like they're at least tapping into levity while they're so disappointed, which I think is nice.

I appreciate, but I'm not super entertained necessarily, or

I wonder if, if Kaitlyn is like a Look Lou on Twitter, or she's

I kind of feel like she's a look Lou,

but I just get that impression.

I think I crave something that is the complete opposite of Caitlin.

But that being said, I get Caitlin's point, especially because they

So even though I,

season that.

entertainment, I get their impact, which hasn't lasting impression on.

I agree.

Like I said, I think regardless of where you fall on the spectrum, if you're a Caitlin or if

In 2022, Is this still the experience that people are disappointed or have things changed?

Cause I think that's really the impact, actually, the lasting impact here is that

Because if Caitlin had written this review a year ago, it definitely would've been a five star.

Now I wanna look up, Okay, I'm gonna look up the date on my calendar.

So, okay, this was 2019, right?

I just wanna see 2019, October 31st was on a Thursday,

Mm-hmm.

right?

So they said the weekend after.

Which you're right, that's what you were, That was what you were saying before.

If it's on a Thursday, the weekend after Halloween is the weekend, like the second or the third,

so it sounds like they went around the same time expecting a similar

sorry, that's 2019.

But they, Sorry.

They went in 2018, which was Wednesday.

Halloween was

Exactly.

Exactly,

So it is basically the same time.

exactly.

It sounds like they went around a similar time expecting a similar

It is interesting that they mentioned they, they singled out the blackout night, so

And I do just wanna clarify for crowning, they mentioned the three

Okay.

They're all like haunted walkthroughs.

I think I could crown.

Yeah, I think I can crown Caitlin.

I feel like I, I've gathered all the info I need.

All right, So ChelseyBD and I each have our own set of

In an effort to be fair and not influenced by one another, we will simultaneously reveal our rating.

Queens are Tabulating, so to school.

All right.

I am holding up four crowns.

Trey, you are holding up four and a half crowns.

I will go first.

I went with four crowns cuz I wanted to leave a crown's worth of space for people that

In terms of the thrill of.

I don't know, sugar pills or some of these things that sound pretty extreme to me.

I don't know that, that most people would want someone putting things in

I just wanted to leave a little bit of space for people that might be different than Caitlin.

That being said, I think a lot of Queen Lee qualities in the review, a lot of

The reviewee or the person reading the review, I don't know if that's the right word, but

And I think that's a pretty queenly tip.

So for that reason, I went with four crowns for Caitlin.

Why did you decide four and a half.

I hear that, you know, I agree with you.

I all like it could very well be a Review Queen.

The reason I took half a crown is because I, I do feel like this is mainly very informative.

I just am curious about what time they were there, cuz I can't distinguish

They were bottlenecked for an hour and a half and they just knew that they would be there until

So they were like, Okay, we're gonna be a little bit quicker for the next hour and a

Like if you are a haunted house, then you have to be able to create some

I mean, this sounds like they really drop the ball.

And I don't want the experience that Caitlin wants, but I hear that Caitlin was disappointed

So I do think that ultimately it's a really strong one star.

I went with four and a half, but I, I do feel like I can't distinguish the commonality.

So I said four and a half, Kaitlyn.

Caitlin, you're nearly a Review Queen.

Have you ever watched those episodes on Ellen where she used to send

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

There was like, I think there was someone that really hated it, and so she would

that would be me.

That would be me too.

We were, we would both be those people for Ellen

I would never be able to do it though.

I couldn't.

No, but Caitlin, good for you.

I guess you have, um, different fight or flight responses than Trey and I do.

We get anxious when we just know that we have to sleep.

So

Right.

we supposed to handle haunted house?

Oh wow.

All right, Listeners, do you, do you like haunted houses?

Do you agree with Caitlin that you would take a sugar pill and want

I looked on Pen Hurst's website and you do have to sign a

I actually like know the person tangentially through one of David's friends who created,

And they were like on ABC News because people were going to the hospital

Because they were getting like that freaked out, like they'd

Like they, that was a place where they, like, you go in one at a time and they

It's like those crazy ones where like people don't make it through.

Like they, they tap, you have a safe word.

It's one of those crazy things and you sign like a liability waiver.

Wow.

Truly amazing that

Caitlyn should go

people would pay for.

Caitlin should go there.

Yeah, Caitlin should do that.

Well, thanks Caitlin for sharing your voice for this Halloween episode of Review That Review.

And we'll talk more about haunted houses on the after show, but in

We have reached the most regal portion of our spooky show.

ChelseyBD, who are you inducting today for?

My Royal line.

right, Queens.

So for today I would like to nominate Spirit Halloween.

Now I'm sure you guys know the store spirit Halloween, right?

Duh.

I've been going since I was a kid.

I think they used to like take over a party city or something cuz they do a

Phenomenal, right?

They have great inventory and all of that, but something that you might not know is

At Halloween and all year round through monetary donations, their mission is to make hospitals less

Since 2007, Spirit of Children has raised over 93 million to provide funding for art,

Funding has also helped partner hospitals purchase sensory and educational items.

Toys used for distraction during medical procedures and so much more.

100% of every dollar donated supports the Child Life Department in over 150 partner

Funds raised by spirit of children would not be possible without the outpouring of support

If you'd like to join the review Queens and.

Of spirit of children and help hospitalize children in your local area.

You can make a donation at the Nearest Spirit Halloween store or@spirithalloween.com.

Thank you Spirit Halloween for your dedication and commitment to such a worthy cause.

It is an honor to induct you as our Royal Highness.

Wow, that's amazing.

so I put a little donation to them and honor the review Queens

I'm gonna do it too.

We'll both do it.

I see that in the 2021 Pandemic, they partnered with hospitals.

To give costumes and activity, books and crayons and treat bags.

They did cuz they could, it was like, you know, pandemic and they couldn't do

So

gosh, I never even knew this.

$93 million.

that wild?

It's a lot of money.

Wow.

Also, what's super interesting is if you donate in the store, they have

Um, they encourage you to take pictures and spread the word.

Whoa.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

Chelsey.

Great job.

I love that.

Thank you.

I was surprised, but I'm very happy that I spent quite a lot of my

Now I feel even better.

Well, I love Spirit Halloween.

They do always, especially in Manhattan and it's like a random, like, you know, it'll be

Oh, it's so funny.

I know, but it's great.

And it's so nice that they, you know, that they support these, these hospitals.

And what's really cool to me is that the local factor where if you, you know, go into your

I agree.

Yeah.

How to, you know, end with something nice and light after that scary review.

Ooh.

Well we did a Queen that is another round on the R in rq, Ferris Wheel of Spooks, and.

Ooh, thank you for joining us today.

If you like what you heard, please tell a friend,

If you didn't like what you heard, tell an enemy.

But if you do not have a friend, if you don't have any enemies, but you would like the

You can do that on Apple Podcasts, on Spotify, or on Pod Chaser.

We have made it super easy with a super cute hyperlink.

It's love the podcast.com/the review Queens.

We also have a one click link in our show notes below.

It's easy peasy, beautiful, spooky Queen.

We would love the review.

It helps us get our show out to new listeners.

It really goes a long way.

Kava girl.

To support the production of our show, visit Review That Review dot com slash

Join our mailing list at Review That Review dot com so you can stay up to

Hit up our voice mailbox 1 8 50 review zero.

You can also follow us on all the socials at the review Queens.

I'm at ChelseyBD.

And I am at Trey Gerrald.

Woo.

On today's after show pod, we are reviewing tombstone pepperoni original thin crust pizza.

Oh

one star review from walmart.com.

Um,

Wait, when you said tombstone, I really got like a little spooked.

Like I was like, What?

And.

That's about as creepy as I get, you know,

Oh, I've never thought about how it's called tombstone.

I've never thought about that.

It's a little creepy.

What the fuck?

Why's it called?

Tombstone?

Very creepy.

To find out what made Trey say

Boobly.

boo

What's boobly?

What's boobly?

And to find out what made ChelseyBD say.

Why again?

Why did they do it again?

They do

so unnecessary.

I did not hear.

Need to hear that?

Bitch's neck cracked twice.

then become a member of our Patreon over@patreon.com slash Review That Review.

That way you'll get access to hear our weekly after Show companion podcast.

Remember

the haters.

You're Queen.

gender non-specific Queen.

course.

Bye.

Bye spooky clowns,

Review That Review.

As an independent podcast, certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty

Our cover art was designed by Lovo, and our theme song was written by Joe

there was a, um, a Review Queen haunted house, what

Spiky Crowns,

riding stones that are spiky.

Oh, someone that is like such a beautiful Queen that it like is so

Like, oh my god, what a beautiful Queen.