You're listening to the Driving Confidence podcast for drivers who want to be calm and confident on the road. We will be sharing tips, stories and advice to beat driving nerves and anxiety and build your driving confidence. Whether you are just starting out as a learner or have had your driving license for years, if you want to transform how you feel about driving, this podcast is for you. We've got some content here for you that's a little bit different. And the reason for that is because when we created it, we weren't thinking about the podcast. We were actually creating this as training materials for driving instructors. So yeah, so we want you to listen to this season from a different perspective. We want you to hear things Slightly differently, because we're talking to driving instructors, predominantly in this. you might hear the phrases slightly differently. So it will give you a different perspective of what we're trying to say as well. Now of course, because we were talking to driving instructors, we've used some of the lingo. So you might hear us say phrases like ADI or PDI, and that just means an approved driving instructor or a potential driving instructor. Yeah, other words that you will hear us say are part two, Part three and standards check. And here we're just talking about the tests or the assessments that people have to take to become a driving instructor or to stay a driving instructor. So really it's a bit like the equivalent of the driving test. We hope that you enjoy listening to things from a fresh perspective. And remember that while we are talking to driving instructors in these episodes, we are talking to them about how they could help you. We're going to talk about what is it that makes us feel stressed. So, stress is individual. Yeah, and you can put two people in exactly the same situation, and one might feel stressed and the other one won't. And it is. You know, it may well be the actual situation itself that's causing the stress, isn't it? Yeah, and I think it's because it's down to, a lot of it comes down to personality. It comes down to your past experiences. It comes down to what's happened to you before and how you deal with a particular situation. So there's no doubt that some people deal with stress better than others. But equally, we also know that the more stress an individual has in their life, then the more stressed they're likely to be when it comes to learning new skills, or being put into another stressful situation. So, For example, if you're working with students who are doing A levels, then there are certain times if they're under exam stress, exam pressure, then they may find their driving lessons more stressful during those periods. And it's also, um, what people might have told them. You know, you might have previous experiences, like Tracy's just said, but also, what have people told them? Those people might have had bad experiences before. Those people might have heard the rumor mill, uh, those old wives tales, and now they're telling you, and then all of a sudden, That is causing us stress, even though it's not necessarily true, is it? Yeah, so your students are very individual, um, and so therefore their response to stress is very individual as well. But we're going to delve a little bit deeper into what is it, why is it that we feel stressed, what is it that actually causes stress? So it's important to say, as always, there is no one size fits all, which is our message all the way through, you know, whatever we say, there is no one size fits all, there might well be situations that are very different. And people just react in different ways, don't they? Yeah. Or you may see themes. So you may see certain things that come up again and again. And that will fit for a lot of people, but not for everybody. One of the common ones we have is, I have my test coming up and I feel nervous. And I think that's what a lot of people say. Yeah. But the actual underlying cause. is very different. Yeah, we need to get below the surface a little bit. We need to delve a little bit deeper. Okay, so I'm going to have a go at explaining this. So often stress is created by a gap. So what do I mean by that? The gap is between what we need to do And what we believe we are able to do. So, for example, in that drive in test situation, my drive in test is coming up and that's making me feel stressed. So what we need to do, what the student believes they need to do is to pass their drive in test. That's the need. But what they, it's whether they believe. they are able to pass their driving test that is creating the gap. And so if they don't believe that they have the ability to pass their driving test, then they will feel stressed. But if you have a student who does believe that they have the ability to pass their test, then their stress will be much lower. And they might just experience some test day nerves at a normal, manageable level, but they won't necessarily feel the same stress. as someone who feels that they're not able to pass. So what we're saying is The person that believes that they can do something has a gap that's small, compared to someone who doesn't believe they can do it. Their gap is big. Yeah, and the person who does believe it might not have a gap at all. So their gap might be non existent. Okay. But if you imagine the bigger the gap the more stress you have. So what might cause a gap? Yeah, I think that's important to look at the gap isn't it? You know, what is, what is causing that gap to be big potentially? Why does somebody have a gap between what they need to do and what they believe they're able to do? What do they feel is missing? What is creating that gap? And sometimes it might be time, knowledge, skills, Or something completely different. Yeah, and this is important for you to find out because for you to be able to help your student who's feeling stressed, you need to understand what is creating that gap so that you can help them out. So, examples of this. So, let's think of a parallel park. Yeah, most people and instructors normally agree with me on this, that students feel stressed about doing a parallel park. They've heard the rumors, they've heard the stories that it's the hardest maneuver to do, and that they know that their parents can't do it. Because they've never been taught to do it. So it must be hard. That is their process, isn't it? Yeah. And I think that's a really good example. So if we look at a parallel park and the gap being time, what we're talking about there is when you need to do a parallel park and you've got people behind you. Yeah. What's the time pressure on a maneuver that actually might be a maneuver that you've got the knowledge, you've got the skills, you've done it multiple times, but then as soon as you start getting traffic building up behind you, suddenly you feel that you need to do it more quickly, that you haven't got enough time to be able to do the maneuver in the way that you know you can do it. Because they want to get out of the way. They feel that they are holding people up so they will do it quicker. So they feel that they haven't got enough time to be able to do it properly and that will create stress. The other thing to think about time is their test might be in six weeks time, but now that time They don't feel they've got enough time to be able to be ready. Yeah, it's suddenly they booked it six months ago because of the waiting list and then all of a sudden they're that month, six weeks before the test and they're like, Oh, this is real now. It's actually going to happen. And I still need to do all this. Yeah, you know that what I need to still cover is this. So having a timeline, work with your student with this, you know, because at the moment they're in stress because it's not as long as they anticipated. They don't believe that they've got enough time to practice or learn or whatever's left. So a good tool to use here is create a timeline. Don't go to the test, go to a week before, two weeks before. And say, right, what have we got to do that's going to make you feel less stressed, and put them all on a timeline. Where can we do this? Where can we do this? Where can we do this? And create a timeline, action plan, whatever you want to call it, that's going to help with that stress and alleviate some of those problems. So, of course, the other one, which we've said before, if people have a knowledge or understanding gap, if there's something that they don't understand, something that they don't know, then that is always going to make somebody feel nervous or anxious. The brain hates uncertainty. It likes everything to be really clear. To, to make sense, to be logical. So whenever there's a gap in knowledge, then that's likely to result in stress. So again, if you go back to that parallel parking example, if they don't understand their positioning, how to turn the wheel, if they, if they just don't understand it, if they don't know how to do it, then they are likely to feel stressed. It also could be, if we think about the linking it with the time, they've never been in a position during a parallel path where there's been cars behind them or in front of them and they've had to wait for them. You know, they might not have been in that and they don't know. So there's that knowledge or understanding. What do I do in that situation? I've not experienced it yet. Yeah. No, actually, that's really great. So we've said that one of the gaps might be something else, experience. That is an example of something else that can cause that gap, so perhaps they haven't had that experience, and that's the gap between what they need to do and what they believe they're able to do, and it might be that they haven't had an experience yet, so that's another great example. It might also be in lessons, create scenarios, because not everybody Could deal with, um, or should I say knows how to deal with blue lights, police, ambulance, fire, um, so create scenarios when you're driving. What would you do if you're driving on this road at the moment and all of a sudden you saw blue flashing lights behind you? What would you do? Although the situation isn't there, but you're building their knowledge and understanding of what they would do. It also gives you an insight into what they're likely to do in that situation. So you can practice it or talk about it and say, well done, or can we consider this? So again, it's, you know, situations we can't deal in lessons. We are never going to be able to deal with every single situation, but what we can do is create scenarios when you can use them as homework. Create a scenario and give it to the student as homework and think, get them to think about what they would do in that scenario and come back the next lesson and tell me, what have you come up with? What's mum and dad told you? And that helps them as well to then look at what skills they do have and how those skills might transfer into other areas, other experiences. So that will help them fill that skills gap by understanding where their skills. are the foundation to other things and the skills that we teach on lessons one to five to six whatever it is those beginning lessons are transferable skills so we can even ask moving off and stopping lesson one of the first lessons that we will do where else might you do moving off and stopping. What situation can you think of? And they might well say, well, traffic lights, you know, I've got to stop at a red light and I've got to move away again. So bring that in in early lessons. You know, what skills are you developing now that are going to help you in the future? So our advice here is if somebody is feeling stressed about something, Delve a little bit deeper. Find out what the gap is. What is it that they're missing? Because until you find out, you're not able to actually help them. And how do you help them? You reduce the gap. You're looking to fill in that gap to minimize it or fill it in completely so it's not there anymore. Yeah, and get them to reduce the gap themselves because you're there to facilitate the learning, but also through creating scenarios, asking questions, you can notice that gap in knowledge. skills, understanding, time, and then create that action plan to help reduce that gap. Yeah. So if it's a time, if it's a time gap, then like you say, create your timeline, create your action plan, or help them, you know, in the case of the parallel park, help them understand that actually they have still got time regardless of people waiting. So it's, it's having conversations around that. If it's a gap about their knowledge and understanding, then it's working on that within a lesson so that they're reducing that gap, filling in that gap in knowledge and understanding. And of course filling in a skills gap and an experience gap is practice and scenarios. What you also might need to do as well is think about life. Life gets in the way and especially if you want to reduce the gap if they're doing A levels. They're at uni, got their, you know, their degrees to do. What you might well find is that, you know, life is too much and the gap is just life. How do you reduce that gap in life to help them succeed in their driving? Um, so is. It's looking at priorities, it's deciding what's going to give a little, whether to slow things down, speed things up, and fitting it in, fitting driving in around other priorities. And move it. You know, it might well be that the goal has to move if it's a test. In reality, it's just not feasible. With everything that's going on. And the lack of time, the lack of knowledge and understanding and skills, it might be that we actually postpone a move. Yeah, because actually if you put a stress driver in who has a lack of knowledge or a lack of understanding, um, or a lack of experience, and they're incredibly stressed. And then they happen to pass, then quite likely that's going to result in a stressed new driver as well post test. So it might make sense to move the test and make sure that you filled in all of those gaps. They've got all of the tools and everything that they need so that they can be a stress free driver in the future. And this is all about working together to reduce the gap as well, that it's not just you, it's work together to come up with an action plan, timelines, reducing that stress. Yeah, because you can't do it for them. Thank you for listening. Find out about the different ways that you can work with us on our website www. confidentdrivers. co. uk and begin to transform the way you feel about driving.