WEBVTT

00:00:01.340 --> 00:00:18.439

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: What if collaboration, not competition, was the real secret to wealth? Our next guest reveals how powerful connections and intentional partnerships can open doors you didn't even know existed, and how to build a network that multiplies your income, impact, and influence.

00:00:18.440 --> 00:00:33.800

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Hi, and welcome to the UWorld Order Showcase Podcast, where we feature life, health, transformational coaches and spiritual entrepreneurs who are stepping up to be the change they seek in the world. I'm your host, Jill Hart, The Coaches Alchemist, on a mission to help coaches and entrepreneurs amplify their voice

00:00:33.800 --> 00:00:58.639

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: monetize their mission, and get visible. If you're ready to start attracting premium clients without chasing algorithms or hunting people down like a banshee on a mission, head over to Coachesalchemist.com and schedule your free client acquisition audit. It's the first step to building a business where your clients seek you out, rather than you having to hunt them down. Today, we are chatting with Monique Alvarez. Monique is the founder of

00:00:58.640 --> 00:01:08.210

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Publishing and Network Like the Rich, where she helps visionaries turn their message into movements. Alongside her husband of 18 years, Monique has built

00:01:08.210 --> 00:01:31.039

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: A global business that generated millions in revenue and created opportunities for countless women around the world. She's the woman behind the best-selling collaborative book, Sacred Redesign, and her expertise in building authentic relationships and high-level collaborations has made her a sought-after mentor and leader. When she's not helping others grow their empire, you can find her making chocolate souffle.

00:01:31.040 --> 00:01:39.459

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: for her two boys, and savoring the richness of a life well designed. Hi, and welcome, Monique! It's so great to have you here, I've really been looking forward to this.

00:01:39.460 --> 00:01:44.380

Monique Alvarez: Me too, Jill. Thanks. I'm looking forward to our conversation. I know we're gonna have fun.

00:01:44.640 --> 00:01:56.009

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, it is gonna be fun. But I'm going to start us off with a big question that I'd like to ask everybody, which is, what's the most significant thing, in your opinion, as individuals we can do to make an impact on how the world is going?

00:01:56.980 --> 00:02:00.160

Monique Alvarez: The most significant thing we can do right now is to have hope.

00:02:00.640 --> 00:02:01.370

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yes.

00:02:01.620 --> 00:02:09.280

Monique Alvarez: I can't claim to be a person who has light inside of me, who has vision, who has purpose, and then be hopeless.

00:02:09.440 --> 00:02:15.500

Monique Alvarez: I'm okay if I'm the foolish optimist, I will be that for all of time, and that's the most important thing we can do right now.

00:02:16.190 --> 00:02:20.469

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It makes such an impact on how everything else around you happens.

00:02:20.610 --> 00:02:28.420

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: If you face the world, like, today's a brand new opportunity for great things to happen to me, and you just…

00:02:28.780 --> 00:02:36.379

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: just let it out there. No matter what else is going on, this can still be a great day for you.

00:02:36.560 --> 00:02:40.929

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And it… More likely than not, it'll turn out to be okay.

00:02:41.710 --> 00:02:48.830

Monique Alvarez: Absolutely, that's what I found. You have a much better chance of having a good day if that's how you are starting out, and that's the way you're approaching it.

00:02:49.120 --> 00:02:54.869

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, if you're planning for it. Let's plan for the best! And if the worst happens, we can ignore it!

00:02:57.060 --> 00:02:58.430

Monique Alvarez: Exactly.

00:02:58.430 --> 00:03:01.259

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Or find good things that have happened. So…

00:03:01.560 --> 00:03:07.659

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I know that you have a community network like The Rich. I just love that name.

00:03:07.840 --> 00:03:13.229

Monique Alvarez: Thank you. It came to me out in the field. God gave me the name, so that's why it's so good.

00:03:14.290 --> 00:03:25.510

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It seems like it. So, tell me a little bit about it. What are you doing over there? How is it helping people? And what do the network… what do the rich network like that, you know, the rest of us.

00:03:26.400 --> 00:03:27.120

Monique Alvarez: You know…

00:03:27.120 --> 00:03:28.020

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'm missing on.

00:03:28.020 --> 00:03:46.169

Monique Alvarez: Yeah, it's… I'm so glad you asked this, because most of the time, people are like, what's Network Like the Rich mean? And sadly, what usually comes to people's minds, like, oh, are we being cutthroat? Are we… are we just being so strategic, and we're thinking about ourselves and no one else? But this is the foundation of Network Like the Rich.

00:03:46.370 --> 00:03:49.380

Monique Alvarez: Is to leave everyone better than you found them.

00:03:50.370 --> 00:04:06.959

Monique Alvarez: And if you go through your day, and you go through your business, and your conversations, and your interactions, and you have that as your intention and your foundation, I'm going to leave everyone better than I found them, then you're doing it right. That is the richness I'm talking about.

00:04:09.560 --> 00:04:16.790

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And let's talk about rich just for a moment. Because often when you say the word rich, people think money.

00:04:17.010 --> 00:04:18.650

Monique Alvarez: But Rich is…

00:04:18.649 --> 00:04:26.309

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: so much richer of a word than just money. We are all wealthy.

00:04:27.030 --> 00:04:33.170

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: There's just not a human being who's having an experience in this realm that is not wealthy.

00:04:33.330 --> 00:04:40.679

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: on some level, And it goes kind of back to what you were saying before about the,

00:04:41.870 --> 00:04:43.340

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: having hope.

00:04:44.080 --> 00:04:46.840

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: They tied together so closely.

00:04:48.060 --> 00:04:53.389

Monique Alvarez: They do. You know, one of the things that's easy for us to forget, and

00:04:53.510 --> 00:05:03.489

Monique Alvarez: I'm an American, but I spent many years outside the U.S. I've lived in countries that have experienced war and dictatorships and…

00:05:03.750 --> 00:05:08.140

Monique Alvarez: You know, all of the worst that poverty brings, and…

00:05:08.690 --> 00:05:24.669

Monique Alvarez: what I think Americans in particular forget, or, you know, from the develop… like, the richest countries on Earth, is we forget we literally have it all. Even when we think we don't, you know, when the cafe is out of almond milk and we don't get our matcha almond latte.

00:05:25.290 --> 00:05:29.800

Monique Alvarez: We are so incredibly rich. You know, most people

00:05:30.500 --> 00:05:47.239

Monique Alvarez: have so much that they take for granted. We have electricity, we have running water, we have health, we have two arms, two legs, two ears, two eyes. We have this ability to think, to receive ideas, to communicate, to ask for help, to… the list is endless, and…

00:05:47.610 --> 00:06:00.009

Monique Alvarez: when we are willing to look at all of that… I mean, I remember one day, I was… I was in my own funk. I was in a foul mood, and I, like, paused. I was like, whoa, wait a second. And I put myself… I went and sat in my own pantry.

00:06:00.900 --> 00:06:02.669

Monique Alvarez: And I was like, just…

00:06:02.850 --> 00:06:17.220

Monique Alvarez: be grateful for what's sitting in your pantry. You have 50 pounds of beans, you have 100 pounds of coffee, you have the… you have pasta, you have lentils, you have all this. And sometimes we have to put ourselves in a little timeout and go, just even look at this one section of our life.

00:06:17.700 --> 00:06:30.309

Monique Alvarez: and go on a rant about how good it is. Instead of constantly ranting about what isn't working, or how something's wrong, or how that person, yada yada, it's like if we can flip that around.

00:06:30.390 --> 00:06:39.670

Monique Alvarez: Boom, we remember how rich we are, and how many opportunities, and we create them! I can create a million opportunities for myself in this moment, if I can get my head straight.

00:06:41.160 --> 00:06:43.469

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's just looking for…

00:06:43.720 --> 00:06:57.949

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: The things that are going right, and you'll find more things that are going right. If you focus on things that are going wrong, then everything around you is going to go wrong. And we can take this back to our bodies.

00:06:57.960 --> 00:07:02.169

Monique Alvarez: For years, I was just like, I have to lose, like, whatever I…

00:07:02.170 --> 00:07:20.629

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: feel like I have to lose, which is always a lot, because, you know, I'm getting older, my body's not already, you know, in agreement with how I think it should be looking. But I've come to the point where I'm just like, it just looks like it looks. It's okay. I've got some parts that are… I'm really grateful for, and other parts, you know.

00:07:21.750 --> 00:07:23.660

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: They serve their purpose!

00:07:23.660 --> 00:07:24.260

Monique Alvarez: Yes.

00:07:24.260 --> 00:07:26.059

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's okay!

00:07:26.060 --> 00:07:39.059

Monique Alvarez: That's okay. I mean, this right here, I was actually just talking to my dad and husband yesterday, and I was like, you know, there's these seasons of life, or these situations that happen, that help us to accept what is.

00:07:39.260 --> 00:07:59.129

Monique Alvarez: And, you know, I love that we're always on this track of improving, and getting better, and making more money, and being skinnier, and being happier, and being healthier, and being all those things, but there is something to be said about being able to come to peace with things, and just be like, I accept this exactly the way it is.

00:07:59.420 --> 00:08:00.160

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yes!

00:08:00.620 --> 00:08:07.449

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And I can be happy with it. I'm having… I'm here for an experience, and that's what I'm getting. It's different.

00:08:07.680 --> 00:08:08.350

Monique Alvarez: Yes.

00:08:09.180 --> 00:08:12.939

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: How fortunate are we to have this moment that's different?

00:08:13.830 --> 00:08:23.620

Monique Alvarez: I mean, we learn so much in the contrast. We learn so much when we're… when we're rubbing up against that edge, and we're like, but I didn't want that, but… but…

00:08:24.200 --> 00:08:28.409

Monique Alvarez: What are gifts? What are ahas? What are insights that it's giving me?

00:08:29.010 --> 00:08:31.560

Monique Alvarez: Even if it wasn't… even if it's not what I would…

00:08:31.680 --> 00:08:37.149

Monique Alvarez: say I would want and choose in this moment, even with my wrestling match, what is it showing me?

00:08:39.459 --> 00:08:42.919

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And all of life is that way. And…

00:08:43.079 --> 00:08:48.329

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And it kind of goes back to leaving people better than you found them.

00:08:48.459 --> 00:08:54.169

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Where you're… When you show up expecting the best.

00:08:54.849 --> 00:09:00.219

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: it… it allows that other person to… to shine, too. And…

00:09:00.409 --> 00:09:09.459

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And to explore what's going right, instead of, like, getting into the doom scrolling and the… because you can always find

00:09:09.559 --> 00:09:21.159

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: things that are going to tell you the end of the world is happening right now, we've already gone over the cliff, and… you know, it's… it's miserable living in that, I know, because I lived there for a long time.

00:09:21.309 --> 00:09:22.059

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And…

00:09:22.339 --> 00:09:28.299

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I… I can look in my pantry and see, you know, the 50-pound bag of beans, because, you know, we're from Idaho.

00:09:28.760 --> 00:09:34.409

Monique Alvarez: We… we got the same… we got the same pantry, we got the same food storage system, yeah, exactly.

00:09:34.630 --> 00:09:37.799

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But it doesn't matter to me anymore. It's like…

00:09:38.400 --> 00:09:44.659

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You know, if I had nothing, it's okay. I'll figure a way. Something will show up, and it'll be novel.

00:09:44.870 --> 00:09:48.210

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: That would be exciting, too. It'll be a different adventure.

00:09:49.120 --> 00:09:50.899

Monique Alvarez: So true, so true.

00:09:51.920 --> 00:09:54.310

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's just leaving the door open for that.

00:09:55.300 --> 00:10:00.540

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I know that you've built global businesses, and you have a powerful reputation.

00:10:00.640 --> 00:10:04.530

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: What role has collaboration played in that journey for you?

00:10:05.450 --> 00:10:14.819

Monique Alvarez: It's played a big role, because when I started my business, I didn't ever think, like, oh, you can do this, like, you're gonna do great, you can make it.

00:10:14.880 --> 00:10:32.970

Monique Alvarez: I was more, like, clear that I couldn't do it if I didn't collaborate. So, I was raised in a family full of entrepreneurs, like, I could take you down Main Street, and there's… there's the lumberyard my grandpa built, and there's that person, that relative's business, and this one. But…

00:10:33.450 --> 00:10:37.630

Monique Alvarez: I didn't ever learn business, because everyone in my family was busy running their business.

00:10:37.900 --> 00:10:46.310

Monique Alvarez: And I was sort of the, the nice, pretty daughter who everyone just kind of patted on the head and was like, well, let's hope she marries well, right?

00:10:46.540 --> 00:10:49.140

Monique Alvarez: So, no one really expected anything of me.

00:10:49.320 --> 00:10:58.660

Monique Alvarez: And when I, you know, I was a straight-A student, I was the good girl, I didn't rebel, I did what was asked of me, I made everyone happy.

00:10:58.780 --> 00:11:00.190

Monique Alvarez: And…

00:11:01.020 --> 00:11:12.450

Monique Alvarez: I chose not to go to college, I chose not to get a degree, I chose not to get a corporate career. Instead, I went overseas, I left my small town in the middle of nowhere, and I went to Myanmar when I was…

00:11:12.940 --> 00:11:17.990

Monique Alvarez: 18, 19 years old, And that blew my world wide open.

00:11:18.700 --> 00:11:21.879

Monique Alvarez: And… when I started my business.

00:11:22.320 --> 00:11:30.029

Monique Alvarez: I didn't have the experience, I didn't have the education, I didn't have the relationships, I didn't have the know-how.

00:11:30.260 --> 00:11:40.569

Monique Alvarez: But what I learned from living overseas and being a volunteer in my 20s was that if I walked up to somebody and asked them for help or for directions.

00:11:41.370 --> 00:11:43.429

Monique Alvarez: 9 times out of 10, they helped me.

00:11:44.570 --> 00:11:58.000

Monique Alvarez: So, when we started, I thought, if I surround myself with a dozen people who know something about business, who are 20 or more years older than me, who have a track record and a bank account that shows they know what they're doing.

00:11:58.180 --> 00:12:17.709

Monique Alvarez: I can learn this, I can be okay, and so that's what I did. From the get-go, the first thing I did is I put together a group of 12 people that I collaborated with, and it started off with me asking them, what can I do to grow your business? And I sought that out, and then they trusted me, and then this relationship and dynamic grew, but that

00:12:17.810 --> 00:12:23.939

Monique Alvarez: is how I got started, because I was, you know, 32, 33 years old, and didn't know anything and had no experience.

00:12:25.990 --> 00:12:34.829

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But you got so much in terms of… of an education In practical terms.

00:12:37.120 --> 00:12:46.220

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's so much more important to have an experience like that to me than to go to college and waste time over there.

00:12:46.440 --> 00:12:47.440

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: in there.

00:12:49.660 --> 00:12:57.920

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Traveling is… is hugely important in the world. I was talking to my dad about it. I was raised mostly overseas, as well, when I was young.

100

00:12:58.080 --> 00:12:59.190

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And so…

101

00:12:59.610 --> 00:13:04.429

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I was talking to my dad, and he was telling me about a gal that worked for him.

102

00:13:04.620 --> 00:13:23.030

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: years ago, who… who came to him, and… and she was like, should I do this thing? And it was going overseas, and my… and she's… and my dad's like, heck yeah! You're young, you don't have anything tying you down, you should definitely go over there, at least for a year or two, and just, you know.

103

00:13:23.150 --> 00:13:35.750

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: see what… how the other world lives, because the whole rest of the world does not live like the United States lives. It is way different, and every place you go is different, and they just, like…

104

00:13:36.000 --> 00:13:40.030

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Culture is something. And, you know, we have all these

105

00:13:41.720 --> 00:13:45.379

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: culture sort of wars in the United States, but…

106

00:13:45.660 --> 00:13:58.710

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: They're silly. They don't have the history that other places have that create the way that they live their lives. And so.

107

00:13:58.970 --> 00:14:09.169

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: she did go. She asked my dad if he would save her job, so that when she came back, she had a job, and she did. And she did come back. And, she was like, that was the best!

108

00:14:10.160 --> 00:14:23.380

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: best experience in my whole life, and it shaped the whole rest of her life. And, you know, we're talking about the same thing here with you, and going to Myanmar. Myanmar, I always get that mixed up.

109

00:14:23.380 --> 00:14:24.500

Monique Alvarez: I don't know.

110

00:14:25.700 --> 00:14:33.319

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Having these experiences that really enrich you, and then give you the confidence to go to other people and say, hey.

111

00:14:34.770 --> 00:14:40.140

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Let me work alongside you, and see how you're doing this stuff, and contribute.

112

00:14:40.320 --> 00:14:43.660

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You know, there was a… I forget who said it.

113

00:14:44.910 --> 00:14:58.280

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I was probably an investment person, that, you should hire… you should take somebody who's really good at what you want to do, who's making a lot of money, you should go and buy them lunch. You pay for it.

114

00:14:59.200 --> 00:15:04.119

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But you pick their brain during the lunch. And, you know, that's great advice.

115

00:15:04.520 --> 00:15:14.770

Monique Alvarez: Definitely. That's what I did. I took someone different to breakfast, lunch, dinner, coffee, tea, and I learned from them. I listened to what they said. I noticed how they thought.

116

00:15:14.950 --> 00:15:24.930

Monique Alvarez: Because people who have established themselves, they think in a particular way. People who have experienced success over the long term, they…

117

00:15:24.930 --> 00:15:39.889

Monique Alvarez: they plan and strategize differently. You know, there's people who have this ability to go for, like, short-term goals, but then long game people, they… they're just different. They… they're built different. And that's exactly what I did. I bought time with them.

118

00:15:40.300 --> 00:15:56.040

Monique Alvarez: And, you know, we know this when we're young, our parents say it, you know, we say it to our kids, like, your company matters, you know, your friends and your circle is a reflection of you, and that's where you're gonna end up, and that's exactly what I did. I knew where I wanted to end up, so I just spent as much time right next to them as I could.

119

00:15:57.930 --> 00:16:03.430

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So let me ask you, What… what is the… the one thing…

120

00:16:03.830 --> 00:16:08.780

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: The biggest piece of advice you've gotten that you tried and didn't work?

121

00:16:08.780 --> 00:16:14.870

Monique Alvarez: Oh my gosh. It… I could boil it down to this. Be someone you're not.

122

00:16:15.360 --> 00:16:30.469

Monique Alvarez: Be someone you're not. Be professional. You know, be serious, be buttoned up, you know, basically, you know, be someone that you're not, so that people take you seriously, and they… they trust you, and they…

123

00:16:31.100 --> 00:16:37.590

Monique Alvarez: Yeah, that, that… There was a lot of different angles on it, but that's basically what it was.

124

00:16:37.860 --> 00:16:40.349

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: The whole fake it till you make it idea.

125

00:16:42.060 --> 00:16:44.059

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You just keep faking it.

126

00:16:46.300 --> 00:16:47.730

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You'll never make it.

127

00:16:47.970 --> 00:16:51.269

Monique Alvarez: It is, it's never gonna end.

128

00:16:51.620 --> 00:16:55.260

Monique Alvarez: And I think what that implies is that there's, like, a…

129

00:16:56.070 --> 00:17:14.900

Monique Alvarez: a certain personality. There's a particular person who can be successful and no one else can, and that's what I've learned is, like, oh, there's a million ways to do this, you know? There's not one right… and that's what school teaches us. There's one right answer. And in business, that's not how it works.

130

00:17:16.520 --> 00:17:23.290

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It doesn't… you don't need to be told what success looks like, either, because success can look different for everybody.

131

00:17:23.480 --> 00:17:24.230

Monique Alvarez: Site.

132

00:17:24.650 --> 00:17:31.840

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And the whole fake it till you make it assumes that success only looks one way. It's the big mansion and the car.

133

00:17:33.890 --> 00:17:41.069

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I've had big houses, and I've had little houses, and let me tell you, I prefer a little house with a little bit of land.

134

00:17:41.510 --> 00:17:42.510

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: the truth.

135

00:17:42.750 --> 00:17:45.280

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: to a big house that I'm a slave to.

136

00:17:45.460 --> 00:17:49.220

Monique Alvarez: that's… that's just it, you know? It's… everybody…

137

00:17:50.040 --> 00:17:57.509

Monique Alvarez: desires different things, and different things make people happy. Like, this morning, I saw a post on social media, and this lady was talking about how

138

00:17:57.590 --> 00:18:10.049

Monique Alvarez: she wears, she has 5 outfits, and she rotates through them, because she gets decision fatigue with clothing, and she has 5 dinners, and she eats the same meals every 5 days. For her, that was relief, and that was…

139

00:18:10.420 --> 00:18:16.340

Monique Alvarez: oh, yes, this helps my life, and so I can focus on these other things. But for me, that would be…

140

00:18:16.610 --> 00:18:20.979

Monique Alvarez: awful, like, shoot me now, life's not worth living if I'm eating, you know.

141

00:18:21.030 --> 00:18:39.859

Monique Alvarez: chicken and carrots every meal. If I'm eating the five… same five meals, because I love cooking and I love creating, I love going in the kitchen and just being like, what have I never made, but I have these five ingredients, what could I dream up? So, it's like, what is a blessing and a joy and a relief to one person is a burden and a life sentence for another.

142

00:18:39.880 --> 00:18:46.639

Monique Alvarez: And that's what we have to remember. Like, across the board, that's how it is. We're all so incredibly unique in terms of what makes us tick.

143

00:18:47.630 --> 00:18:51.789

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And it's okay to be different, and it's okay to change your mind. Like, this…

144

00:18:52.180 --> 00:18:54.800

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I have seasons where I have…

145

00:18:55.500 --> 00:18:57.750

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: 7 or 8 pairs of overalls.

146

00:18:58.010 --> 00:19:02.219

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And I have about 10 turtleneck shirts.

147

00:19:02.220 --> 00:19:03.260

Monique Alvarez: Yep.

148

00:19:03.260 --> 00:19:09.059

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I decided this year I got some jewelry, so I'm gonna add jewelry to my look.

149

00:19:09.060 --> 00:19:11.520

Monique Alvarez: This isn't me! I love it!

150

00:19:12.940 --> 00:19:17.590

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I can't be bothered with trying to figure out a wardrobe that…

151

00:19:17.690 --> 00:19:23.730

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: feels good, and looks good, and is something that I'm not. I'm just not.

152

00:19:23.880 --> 00:19:27.700

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Took me a long time to become a country girl. I'm a country girl.

153

00:19:27.930 --> 00:19:34.159

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I like… simple and easy. But when it comes to cooking, I'm with you, I'm just like…

154

00:19:34.570 --> 00:19:39.750

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: If I have to eat the same things over and over again, it's like, I'd rather not eat.

155

00:19:40.200 --> 00:19:40.680

Monique Alvarez: Exactly.

156

00:19:40.680 --> 00:19:41.739

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: just not doing it.

157

00:19:41.950 --> 00:19:42.520

Monique Alvarez: No.

158

00:19:43.610 --> 00:19:45.200

Monique Alvarez: I took all the fun out of it.

159

00:19:45.470 --> 00:19:46.020

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah!

160

00:19:46.790 --> 00:19:48.740

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And I like to cook, like.

161

00:19:48.870 --> 00:19:53.329

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Good food. And food from, like, lots of different…

162

00:19:53.380 --> 00:20:01.140

Monique Alvarez: regions and ethnicities and experiment. My husband could eat the same 5 meals.

163

00:20:01.140 --> 00:20:02.160

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: day.

164

00:20:03.300 --> 00:20:06.250

Monique Alvarez: He's kind of… he's good about it, he's getting better.

165

00:20:06.250 --> 00:20:11.560

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Now that he's retired, he's like… Okay, I'll try it.

166

00:20:11.560 --> 00:20:14.410

Monique Alvarez: Here we go! What did she come up with today?

167

00:20:14.620 --> 00:20:19.959

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, that's pretty much… I try to let him know in the morning, so he can brace himself.

168

00:20:19.960 --> 00:20:21.670

Monique Alvarez: You can mentally prepare.

169

00:20:22.870 --> 00:20:32.020

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: He doesn't eat fish, and we go and visit my dad a couple times a year, and my dad loves fish, and he does not understand people not eating fish.

170

00:20:32.420 --> 00:20:38.369

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And my husband will ask, so what's for dinner? And my dad will name some fish dish.

171

00:20:39.630 --> 00:20:50.630

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And Jeff will say, ugh, he'll make that face, like, and I'll say, you know, Dad, Jeff doesn't really eat fish. And Dad's like, he's shocked every single time!

172

00:20:50.920 --> 00:20:54.060

Monique Alvarez: Still, we haven't converted him? He hasn't changed his mind?

173

00:20:55.640 --> 00:20:59.099

Monique Alvarez: I love it. He's, he's optimistic about that.

174

00:20:59.100 --> 00:21:04.669

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: He's totally hopeful. If a man is nothing, he is hopeful.

175

00:21:07.200 --> 00:21:10.110

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So we're gonna get him a shirt that says, I still don't eat fish.

176

00:21:10.110 --> 00:21:15.500

Monique Alvarez: Yeah, there you go. Send the picture ahead of the visit.

177

00:21:16.380 --> 00:21:21.290

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's okay, though. It makes us laugh, and…

178

00:21:21.720 --> 00:21:28.980

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: We're… we're good with, you know, he can eat… he can make himself a sandwich, macaroni and cheese, or whatever.

179

00:21:28.980 --> 00:21:31.030

Monique Alvarez: There you go. He'll figure it out.

180

00:21:31.030 --> 00:21:36.889

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: He'll figure it out. Life's too short to be stressed about some of these little things that…

181

00:21:37.730 --> 00:21:39.140

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Just don't matter.

182

00:21:39.810 --> 00:21:41.080

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So…

183

00:21:44.090 --> 00:21:48.870

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You guys have worked together, you and your husband, for a long time.

184

00:21:49.050 --> 00:21:52.859

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: What have you learned about blending love and business and leadership?

185

00:21:53.220 --> 00:22:02.709

Monique Alvarez: Hmm… you know… For us, It felt very natural, and we…

186

00:22:03.090 --> 00:22:19.860

Monique Alvarez: have very different skill sets and very different personalities, and so we were kind of like the… the yin to the yang, you know? But in having conversations with so many other couples, it was like, oh no, we can never do that. I can't even be in the house with him for more than, like, 2 hours a day, and, you know, I need a job that I'm gone 12 hours a day.

187

00:22:19.990 --> 00:22:21.080

Monique Alvarez: So…

188

00:22:21.530 --> 00:22:34.219

Monique Alvarez: it's kind of like what you said, however you grow up, or whatever country you're born and raised in, like, you think everyone does it that way. And I think, looking back, the best thing that we did is I didn't…

189

00:22:35.860 --> 00:22:52.889

Monique Alvarez: tell Derek how to do his thing, and he didn't tell me how to do mine. It's like, I trust you with that. I don't know how to do it. I'm definitely not gonna try to give you input on how you're gonna do it. So we allowed each other to be the expert and, like, the leader of our own domain. And what he would tell you is, is like.

190

00:22:53.480 --> 00:22:55.690

Monique Alvarez: I'm the boss of me, and he's the boss of him.

191

00:22:55.930 --> 00:22:58.180

Monique Alvarez: And that's what's really worked for us.

192

00:22:58.790 --> 00:23:05.959

Monique Alvarez: and valuing each other, because we don't… there's… there's not a lot of crossover. Like, I don't have any…

193

00:23:06.490 --> 00:23:11.499

Monique Alvarez: expertise or skill sets and what he's good at, and vice versa. Like, he'd never want to do the part I do.

194

00:23:11.630 --> 00:23:12.670

Monique Alvarez: So…

195

00:23:12.940 --> 00:23:20.349

Monique Alvarez: in a practical sense, what I would say, too, is that there has to be times that you talk about business, and times that you don't talk about business.

196

00:23:20.470 --> 00:23:29.559

Monique Alvarez: This is, like, a business-free zone. This is a business-free day. We don't even crack open the… like, this computer does not turn on, you know, certain days of the week.

197

00:23:30.210 --> 00:23:43.429

Monique Alvarez: you know, it doesn't matter if a client's howling, and we know that, you know, the DMs are blowing up, and there's 17 emails, and you get to me right now. You have to be able… what we found is you have to be able to have space

198

00:23:44.040 --> 00:23:50.130

Monique Alvarez: You have to have dates, you have to have days off, you have to have timeframes and things, and…

199

00:23:51.460 --> 00:23:53.389

Monique Alvarez: You have to have processes.

200

00:23:53.860 --> 00:24:09.549

Monique Alvarez: that keep it within a boundary, because business will just run everywhere. And I think kids are similar, you know? When we had kids, we didn't experience the same challenges that we saw a lot of our peers experiencing, because we had the business to practice for 7 years before we had kids.

201

00:24:09.550 --> 00:24:11.889

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So, even with the kids, it's like…

202

00:24:11.940 --> 00:24:19.250

Monique Alvarez: the kids didn't become our whole world. We didn't lose our marriage and each other when we had kids, which I see a lot of people doing. Like, for me.

203

00:24:19.390 --> 00:24:23.460

Monique Alvarez: The relationship of my husband is first to my relationship with my kids.

204

00:24:24.100 --> 00:24:28.130

Monique Alvarez: And having that time, and having these boundaries, and…

205

00:24:28.500 --> 00:24:30.580

Monique Alvarez: That's… that's been the ticket for us.

206

00:24:31.500 --> 00:24:33.080

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I love that. Do you homeschool?

207

00:24:33.400 --> 00:24:41.050

Monique Alvarez: We did for a long time. Actually, my boys right now, they go to a very unique school. It's down in the canyon, it's like 30 minutes from where we live.

208

00:24:41.510 --> 00:24:46.499

Monique Alvarez: I call it the perfect boys' school, because they get to play outside most of the day.

209

00:24:46.710 --> 00:24:47.490

Monique Alvarez: Yeah.

210

00:24:48.000 --> 00:24:48.760

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Like that.

211

00:24:48.760 --> 00:24:51.870

Monique Alvarez: These teachers are giving my son, you know, the…

212

00:24:52.270 --> 00:25:02.600

Monique Alvarez: 7 times 7, you know, as he runs around in a circle. And so it's been so good for them, because they haven't been made to sit down and shut up, because that… it just wouldn't have worked well.

213

00:25:02.770 --> 00:25:13.770

Monique Alvarez: In the next season, you know, when we are into the next year after elementary school, we're gonna go back to homeschooling. But for right now, it's been… it's kind of been, you know, nice for them to experience both.

214

00:25:14.580 --> 00:25:15.890

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, I, I…

215

00:25:16.070 --> 00:25:26.299

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Did something similar with my kids, where, you know, one of them wanted to go to… she really wanted to go to school, so she went to school for about a year and a half, and then…

216

00:25:27.070 --> 00:25:34.980

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Then they were getting into the weirdness that junior high is, and she came back home, and… we unschooled…

217

00:25:36.330 --> 00:25:45.700

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: At this point, I was like, I never graded anything they did. I gave them assignments, we explored things they were interested in learning. Math was…

218

00:25:45.960 --> 00:25:48.120

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I was really bad at math, so…

219

00:25:48.270 --> 00:25:54.880

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I didn't… I didn't push the math. I read somewhere that kids can learn everything they need to know.

220

00:25:55.040 --> 00:25:57.749

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: To survive in the world in 2 years.

221

00:25:58.030 --> 00:25:59.050

Monique Alvarez: Mmm.

222

00:25:59.330 --> 00:26:14.380

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And when they're… when they're teenagers, it's really kind of pointless to try to teach them stuff when they're really little, because they don't have the framework for it. They really… their bodies are growing, and their minds are developing, and they just need to run around and play, and make believe.

223

00:26:14.580 --> 00:26:24.990

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And if we would encourage children to do that and read to them, you know, fantasy stories, whatever, and get them to read to us, you know, teach them to read, but

224

00:26:24.990 --> 00:26:40.799

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: and make it fun. Learning should be something that people want to do, they desire the education. Then we stuck them in an alternative school when they were 13, and this is the school where the troubled kids go, so all the kids in the school were

225

00:26:40.800 --> 00:26:57.989

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: much older, they were just trying to get their credits and get out, but my kids thrived there. They made A's, they, they got out in two and a half years with their little paper diploma that says, you know, we're official, we're stamped by the state. But when we would talk about their schooling.

226

00:26:58.160 --> 00:27:10.379

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Because none of them were in the school at the same time. They're 3 years apart, so one would graduate, and the next one would come along, and the teachers, there are 4 teachers there, and they love my kids, because my kids were, like.

227

00:27:11.020 --> 00:27:16.980

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: They wanted to learn, they wanted to suck the information out of them, and they understood it was a game, and

228

00:27:17.690 --> 00:27:21.980

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: There really aren't any consequences to this, because you can always go back home.

229

00:27:22.360 --> 00:27:25.079

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Mom will make you a paper that says you graduated.

230

00:27:25.370 --> 00:27:27.159

Monique Alvarez: That's right.

231

00:27:27.210 --> 00:27:36.499

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Because she just doesn't care that much. It's not that I don't care about them, but I don't care about, like, squishing them into a box that doesn't…

232

00:27:37.410 --> 00:27:48.249

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: doesn't benefit them, and it doesn't benefit the rest of the world. When we squish children down and say, you have to… this is what you have to look like, and this is how you have to behave.

233

00:27:48.390 --> 00:27:51.940

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: The blowback is… is ridiculous.

234

00:27:52.430 --> 00:27:59.659

Monique Alvarez: Yeah, it's… it's true. You… you realize this, looking back, you're like, oh yeah, you know, that didn't actually…

235

00:28:00.400 --> 00:28:02.009

Monique Alvarez: play into…

236

00:28:02.330 --> 00:28:11.260

Monique Alvarez: how my life turned out. And I think there is a lot of pressure unnecessarily put on kids going through school, and it…

237

00:28:11.340 --> 00:28:28.560

Monique Alvarez: you know, this whole idea that they need to, you know, be perfect in school, and know what they're going to do for the rest of their life and all this nonsense, it's like, there's adults that haven't figured out what they're going to do for the, you know, when they grow up, so it's like, I don't quite know why we keep doing that, like you said, and squishing them in.

238

00:28:28.930 --> 00:28:32.720

Monique Alvarez: But I think a lot more parents are opting out of it.

239

00:28:33.810 --> 00:28:43.090

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'm excited about that. I am excited about the generation of kids that grow up, and they're like, you know, work is not everything.

240

00:28:44.250 --> 00:28:45.250

Monique Alvarez: Oh, yes.

241

00:28:45.740 --> 00:28:48.149

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And it's okay to be a minimalist?

242

00:28:48.350 --> 00:28:49.130

Monique Alvarez: Yes.

243

00:28:49.130 --> 00:28:53.649

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You know, it's… it's okay to be however you choose to be.

244

00:28:53.920 --> 00:28:57.769

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: for however long you choose to be that way. It's like…

245

00:28:58.390 --> 00:29:10.449

Monique Alvarez: That's it. The other day, I told one of my sons, because he was like, Mom, I don't know if I want to do this or that, because I like animals, and you know, I said, oh, honey, you'll probably do a lot of things. It's going to feel like you have 20 lives in one.

246

00:29:10.500 --> 00:29:26.879

Monique Alvarez: And he just looked at me, and he was like, oh, that's true. I don't have to just pick one thing. It's like, you could be a vet, and you could be a YouTuber, and you could, you know, travel the world, and you could be a chef. There's so many things you can do. You get to pick it, like you said, you know, there's seasons, and there's…

247

00:29:27.270 --> 00:29:31.419

Monique Alvarez: Things to explore and try on and keep it on or don't. And…

248

00:29:31.750 --> 00:29:35.160

Monique Alvarez: Continually reminding ourselves of that, like…

249

00:29:35.660 --> 00:29:45.780

Monique Alvarez: oh yeah, this is my life! You know, I'm the governing voice of what happens here, not all this other out here. That's a constant reminder.

250

00:29:46.600 --> 00:29:58.390

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And it… for women especially, because I think so many of us were raised with the idea, you have to find a good husband, and, you know, pretty much you're in charge of, like, living his life for him.

251

00:29:58.650 --> 00:30:14.370

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: or part of his life for him, the part that he wants to share with you, and you're just kind of the afterthought, rather than bringing all of you to a relationship and letting them have the experience of, you know, this is who I'm growing to be.

252

00:30:14.400 --> 00:30:20.149

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And allowing them to grow to be who they're going to grow to be, too. This is, like…

253

00:30:20.500 --> 00:30:23.480

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: There's so much magic in that, and…

254

00:30:24.050 --> 00:30:26.220

Monique Alvarez: Oh, yeah. I'll tell you, after 30 years, it…

255

00:30:26.550 --> 00:30:33.799

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's important. It's important that you remember who you are, and that you continue to grow and change and adapt.

256

00:30:34.460 --> 00:30:35.460

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: There's sheep.

257

00:30:35.630 --> 00:30:37.880

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Your marriage is doomed.

258

00:30:37.880 --> 00:30:42.369

Monique Alvarez: Yeah, it's true. You'll feel like you're suffocating, you know, you'll feel like…

259

00:30:42.610 --> 00:30:54.899

Monique Alvarez: you're not living anymore, you know? You're continuing to uphold a persona, or a role or an identity that has made sense and is expected by others, but

260

00:30:55.260 --> 00:31:01.409

Monique Alvarez: You know, being able to swap those out, and let them die, and resurrect them, recreate them.

261

00:31:02.340 --> 00:31:05.970

Monique Alvarez: That's… that's what life really is, you know? It can…

262

00:31:06.310 --> 00:31:09.350

Monique Alvarez: Out picture and show up in lots of ways, but…

263

00:31:09.500 --> 00:31:18.610

Monique Alvarez: It's being able to honor ourselves and seasons, and… and just go, you know what, I can… I can trust the next one, and this is… this is who I want to be now.

264

00:31:21.380 --> 00:31:23.330

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, that's so beautiful.

265

00:31:23.540 --> 00:31:29.480

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So, let me ask you… I sort of know what you do, but why don't you share with the audience what…

266

00:31:29.820 --> 00:31:32.199

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: In your own words, what you do.

267

00:31:32.200 --> 00:31:33.959

Monique Alvarez: I know you do the, the book…

268

00:31:34.070 --> 00:31:36.150

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: thing, but I think you do other things, too.

269

00:31:36.440 --> 00:31:37.810

Monique Alvarez: Yeah, you know…

270

00:31:38.210 --> 00:31:55.850

Monique Alvarez: I gather people. I love gathering people. Whether it's in my home, I have an 11-foot farm table, I love gathering people and having conversations, asking them questions, figuring out what makes them tick. What do you want now? What… like, I just got a… right before I got on with you, I was in a call.

271

00:31:55.850 --> 00:32:01.340

Monique Alvarez: And that's what I asked everybody. I have my notes here, you know. What do you need right now?

272

00:32:01.670 --> 00:32:09.040

Monique Alvarez: to move things a step further in your business or mission. Yeah, and then I'll think about it, and I'll go, oh, you know what, I know you need to meet Lisa.

273

00:32:09.080 --> 00:32:25.749

Monique Alvarez: So, I… I gather people, and then I'm a matchmaker. Oh, you and her, that… there we go. That's it, you know? Oh, yeah, go do… and that's… that's essentially what I do. I create environments where people can articulate and communicate who they are, what they want, what they need.

274

00:32:26.290 --> 00:32:29.329

Monique Alvarez: And then I just throw out ideas, and I go, oh, that's it.

275

00:32:29.710 --> 00:32:36.150

Monique Alvarez: That's it, you know? Because… One of the worst things about life and business

276

00:32:36.490 --> 00:32:45.579

Monique Alvarez: is when we think, if I was smart enough, I'd figure this out on my own. If I was really good at what I do, I could do it all by myself.

277

00:32:46.060 --> 00:32:49.949

Monique Alvarez: This is where my time overseas really influenced me.

278

00:32:50.080 --> 00:32:52.310

Monique Alvarez: Other cultures don't think that way.

279

00:32:52.590 --> 00:32:53.700

Monique Alvarez: At all.

280

00:32:53.940 --> 00:33:02.570

Monique Alvarez: They're so multi-generational in one home. You know, Asians in particular are so team and group and community-oriented.

281

00:33:02.800 --> 00:33:14.070

Monique Alvarez: And then you come to America, and it's just… it's me, myself, and I, and you know you gotta pull yourself up by your own bootstraps, you gotta figure it out, don't ever ask for help, it's a weakness, da-da-da. And growing up in a small town, to be honest.

282

00:33:14.640 --> 00:33:22.850

Monique Alvarez: I think the reason I so leaned into collaboration and gathering people and connecting people is because

283

00:33:23.720 --> 00:33:32.760

Monique Alvarez: My family, they're a family of pioneers. They got here because they were the toughest SOBs in the lot. They survived all of the things, right?

284

00:33:33.790 --> 00:33:37.039

Monique Alvarez: And they built things with their own two hands.

285

00:33:37.370 --> 00:33:41.980

Monique Alvarez: And in a small town, it's easy to just… everyone's on their own 100 acres.

286

00:33:42.510 --> 00:33:44.679

Monique Alvarez: And figure it out themselves.

287

00:33:44.910 --> 00:33:47.479

Monique Alvarez: And I didn't like that feeling.

288

00:33:48.040 --> 00:33:53.570

Monique Alvarez: I could appreciate what they did, but I didn't want to do that for myself.

289

00:33:54.070 --> 00:34:04.700

Monique Alvarez: I didn't like that feeling, and so everything in my life and business, it's about bringing people together and saying, that's an option, you can choose it, but that's…

290

00:34:05.020 --> 00:34:09.750

Monique Alvarez: It's not as fun, and it's way harder. It takes longer, to tell you the truth.

291

00:34:10.070 --> 00:34:22.879

Monique Alvarez: So that's what I do. I host networking events, I teach people how to communicate better, so that when people say, hey, what can I do to help you? You actually have an answer that they can understand, so that practical next steps happen, because

292

00:34:22.960 --> 00:34:30.390

Monique Alvarez: If we're not in the habit of asking people for help, we actually don't know how to do it very well, and most of us didn't see our parents model this.

293

00:34:31.070 --> 00:34:38.330

Monique Alvarez: Most of us had parents that were like, if you want it done right, do it yourself. And so, I bring in the other end of the spectrum.

294

00:34:39.770 --> 00:34:40.630

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Love that.

295

00:34:40.880 --> 00:34:45.569

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Okay, I… I knew I felt an affinity for you all along.

296

00:34:46.120 --> 00:35:00.579

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's because we're kind of similar in a lot of ways, because that's what I do. It's just like, I'm all about connecting people, and shining the spotlight on them, and saying, hey, this is what this person does, and this is how they shine, and…

297

00:35:01.800 --> 00:35:04.799

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: If you want to connect with them, this is how you do it.

298

00:35:05.340 --> 00:35:06.949

Monique Alvarez: That's it. Bingo.

299

00:35:07.890 --> 00:35:10.040

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And it's really important, I, you know.

300

00:35:10.170 --> 00:35:12.669

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: People like to think that pioneers didn't

301

00:35:12.810 --> 00:35:22.439

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: didn't ask for help, but a lot of those communities became communities because they did help each other. If you look at the Amish, the Amish don't… they live on big…

302

00:35:22.540 --> 00:35:35.820

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: big acreages, farms, but they help each other. They get together to do things, and, you know, they have their weekly meetings, church meetings, and the pioneers around here.

303

00:35:36.050 --> 00:35:50.889

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: did that, too. And they… they had to work together to create the things that they needed to… the infrastructure, and, you know, you raise a barn or whatever, and you helped each other. And…

304

00:35:51.960 --> 00:36:03.139

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You know, yeah, they had… around here, they had some interesting ideas about what formed a family, but, you know, today we have some interesting ideas about what forms a family, too.

305

00:36:05.010 --> 00:36:07.160

Monique Alvarez: So true, so true.

306

00:36:07.160 --> 00:36:15.090

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: We actually used to have polygamous families that lived around us, and there… some of the wives would work in the local grocery store.

307

00:36:15.460 --> 00:36:21.639

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: and at Casper's, where my kids worked for a spell, and they're just, like.

308

00:36:22.300 --> 00:36:33.010

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: they're normal people, they just have a different idea about how they're gonna arrange their family life. And it works for them, so who's to say that they're wrong? It's just like…

309

00:36:35.300 --> 00:36:44.180

Monique Alvarez: Yeah, you know, whatever works for you. What Derek often says is, you know, I couldn't do that because I can barely keep up with one wife, you know, so God bless the man who can handle four, you know?

310

00:36:44.840 --> 00:36:45.650

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah.

311

00:36:46.410 --> 00:36:52.890

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And sometimes women just want to be part of a community they don't actually want a full-time husband.

312

00:36:53.540 --> 00:36:56.209

Monique Alvarez: Well, you know, I've thought about that a lot.

313

00:36:56.550 --> 00:36:59.469

Monique Alvarez: I think that that dynamic that has…

314

00:36:59.630 --> 00:37:11.460

Monique Alvarez: Been lost a lot in modern society of when women would raise children together, and they'd cook together, and they'd gather and have their own time together, which is still present in a lot of cultures, but not in ours.

315

00:37:11.700 --> 00:37:16.130

Monique Alvarez: I… I think there is something to be said about that, you know? And…

316

00:37:16.960 --> 00:37:23.069

Monique Alvarez: there's also, I think, it highlights this ability of, you know, how well can we get along?

317

00:37:23.090 --> 00:37:37.030

Monique Alvarez: we need each other. You know, I watch my cats. I have… I have cats, like, I've never had cats before, and so I've got, like, 3 cat moms out there, and there's kittens, and they all help each other. They all nourish each other's kittens, they all gather them and keep them from the dogs, they all do their thing.

318

00:37:37.230 --> 00:37:50.619

Monique Alvarez: And, yeah, you know, there's elements that we really miss on that, you know? Motherhood is very lonely in this country. I feel grateful that when my boys were little, we were in another country, because I always felt supported by…

319

00:37:50.910 --> 00:38:05.250

Monique Alvarez: the group of moms, and, you know, I always had women around me helping me, so I never felt like, oh, I'm by myself, and, you know, not to mention, you know, Derek and I, we each had one in our arms, because we had two in 12 months, so that was just kind of how it had to be.

320

00:38:05.550 --> 00:38:18.440

Monique Alvarez: So yeah, there… there are, there's… and this is what we said in the beginning, like, there's elements… you can learn from everyone. You can learn from every arrangement, every culture, every setup, every religion, you can learn something.

321

00:38:20.200 --> 00:38:21.969

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And you don't have to be right.

322

00:38:22.190 --> 00:38:25.689

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You can just be curious. I think that's… Wait, what?

323

00:38:26.700 --> 00:38:27.290

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You can't…

324

00:38:27.560 --> 00:38:35.740

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: That's missing in our society so much is just the ability to be curious, and to let whatever it is

325

00:38:36.340 --> 00:38:39.400

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Just unfold, and not have to, like, drive it.

326

00:38:39.940 --> 00:38:43.510

Monique Alvarez: Don't have to drive it, you don't have to be offended by it, you know, you don't…

327

00:38:43.910 --> 00:38:54.049

Monique Alvarez: Yeah, you know, I saw this reel the other day, and it made me laugh. I was like, thank you, this lady said it perfectly. She was like, so, I think we've forgotten something that my mom taught me.

328

00:38:54.180 --> 00:39:10.230

Monique Alvarez: is we have inside voices, and we have outside voices. So there are some thoughts that you think that you don't have to say out loud. You don't have to put on social media. You can just have the thought, but you don't have to start a war over it, you know?

329

00:39:10.930 --> 00:39:12.199

Monique Alvarez: We forgot that.

330

00:39:15.420 --> 00:39:18.869

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: We don't have to live our whole life out loud.

331

00:39:21.610 --> 00:39:24.950

Monique Alvarez: Just let… just let some things be, you know? Just… just let it be.

332

00:39:25.750 --> 00:39:43.079

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And if it's really a problem for you, that's what block is for. If you find people are constantly triggering you, it doesn't say anything about them, and they probably will never notice, and it might make their life better. Just block them, and then they're not… they're not tempted to…

333

00:39:43.270 --> 00:39:45.440

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Say things that are gonna, like.

334

00:39:47.790 --> 00:39:56.439

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: cause you to have a reaction, and we all like to think that, you know, we don't react to things, but there's stuff that just… it's like, I hear it, and it just…

335

00:39:56.670 --> 00:40:03.300

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: sends a jolt through me, and I'm just like… And then the cortisol's going.

336

00:40:03.300 --> 00:40:05.829

Monique Alvarez: Right. We don't want that.

337

00:40:05.830 --> 00:40:06.770

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: We don't want this!

338

00:40:07.180 --> 00:40:10.660

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: God forbid the cortisol starts going in our body.

339

00:40:10.660 --> 00:40:18.949

Monique Alvarez: You can almost feel it, like, oh god, all the fat cells are having a revival, oh God, we've got to get out of here.

340

00:40:21.180 --> 00:40:23.759

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So true, so true.

341

00:40:28.620 --> 00:40:35.669

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So, Monique, how do people get in touch with you? How do you work with people? Like.

342

00:40:35.880 --> 00:40:37.220

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: How does all that look?

343

00:40:37.680 --> 00:40:43.119

Monique Alvarez: So, people can connect with me on Facebook, I'm there a lot, but they can go to NetworkLikeTheRich.com.

344

00:40:43.670 --> 00:40:44.540

Monique Alvarez: And…

345

00:40:44.800 --> 00:40:58.289

Monique Alvarez: learn… learn a slightly different angle, yeah, a very different feeling of… of connecting and networking and figuring out, hey, you know, could you help me, and I could help you, and we could make all this more fun and easy, so that's the best place.

346

00:40:58.930 --> 00:41:02.809

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Okay, perfect. So it's networkliquetheRich.com.

347

00:41:03.320 --> 00:41:06.879

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And you have a Facebook group that's by the same name, correct?

348

00:41:06.880 --> 00:41:07.970

Monique Alvarez: I do.

349

00:41:08.140 --> 00:41:10.950

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And people can find you on Facebook there, too.

350

00:41:10.950 --> 00:41:12.940

Monique Alvarez: Yes. So, I love that.

351

00:41:12.940 --> 00:41:16.910

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Thank you so much for joining me. This has been an amazing conversation.

352

00:41:16.910 --> 00:41:35.539

Monique Alvarez: Thank you, Jill. Yeah, and like… like we've said, I think we have a lot of parallels, and I appreciate that you are sparking conversations, like you said, and you're highlighting people, because if we had more actual conversations with people, we'd remember we have more in common, we're more alike.

353

00:41:35.640 --> 00:41:38.579

Monique Alvarez: than not. And we need to remember that right now.

354

00:41:39.170 --> 00:41:43.600

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yes, we do. And we need to allow people to be who they're gonna be.

355

00:41:43.820 --> 00:41:48.380

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And honor them for stepping up to be who they want to be.

356

00:41:48.720 --> 00:41:54.010

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's not… there's no good and bad. There's only… what is?

357

00:41:55.910 --> 00:41:57.270

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: than our perception.

358

00:41:57.700 --> 00:41:58.590

Monique Alvarez: Right.

359

00:42:00.370 --> 00:42:24.449

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So, to learn more about Monique and to learn how to network like the rich, please go visit networkliketherich.com. Thanks for tuning in today to the UWorld Order Showcase podcast. If you're ready to amplify your voice, monetize your mission, and start attracting premium clients, your next step is simple. Head to coachesalchemist.com and schedule your free client acquisition audit.

360

00:42:24.450 --> 00:42:35.260

Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Be sure to join us today for our next episode as we share what others are doing to raise the global frequency. And remember, change begins with you. You have all the power to change the world. Start today and get visible.