Hello, everyone, and welcome to the premiere episode of Damn you, Uncle Lewis, the Friday the 13th a series retrospective podcast. Before we start the show, I just wanted to take a few minutes to say a few things. First of all, my name is Patrick Walsh, and from 2010 through 2025, I was the producer and host of the ScreamQueenz Horror podcast. Last summer, I decided to wrap production on ScreamQueenz, the podcast because I wanted to start creating the Scream Queen's Potter Verse Apodiverse, a network of new shows that would carry on the ScreamQueenz tradition. And Damn you, Uncle Lewis is the very first of those new shows.

Yay.

Even though Damn You Uncle Lewis itself isn't entirely new. What are you talking about, Patrick? Hold on. Let me. Let me clear things up. While ScreamQueenz was still running, I was also workshopping ideas for new podcasts. And one of the perks for our Patreon subscribers was to get to listen to these new shows and also help shape them with their feedback. So now that we've got the show to play, a place where we think is fantastic, it is finally time to start sharing the show that we all created together with you. However, like any new show these first few episodes, we're still trying to find our rhythm, and we're trying out ideas and figuring out what works and what doesn't. For example, the original title was sometimes Uncle Lewis does dreadful things. That was until our patrons let us know that it was kind of long and we needed something shorter and a little catchier. But since it took us a few episodes to figure that out, you might hear us using the old title on the show tonight. And now you know why. Since these first few episodes were trial and error and we've got our rhythm down now, I'm going to be jumping in to the recording tonight and fixing a few things and trying to make the show you're hearing tonight sound more like the show you would hear if you were a Patreon subscriber now. And just so you know, in order to make an extra big splash on our big opening, you're not getting one or two. You're getting three full episodes of Damn you, Uncle Lewis. So be sure to check your feed because you'll be getting not just the pilot episode, the Initiation, you're also getting the Poison Pen and Cupid's Quiver. Normally, the show will be out in a month, monthly basis, but just for today only, you're getting three at once. I've been babbling for a really long time, so I think it's time to start the show hey, if you haven't seen the pilot episode of Friday the 13th the series, it is available on YouTube. There's a link down there in the show notes for you to check it out before you proceed. That's all I've got for you. So thank you all for joining us for our maiden voyage. Thank you for supporting independent podcast and most of all, enjoy debut Uncle Lewis. Welcome, welcome, welcome one and all to My Most Curious of Curio Shops. I am your proprietor, Patrick Walsh, your Jack Marshack for the evening. In October 1987, a TV show premiered. A TV show that was going to obsess and tantalize us for 22 years now. And I've decided that we'll be meeting here once a month at My Most Curious of Curio Shops that I have opened in honor of this TV show to discuss one by one every episode of this series until it is complete. Yes, I'm talking about Friday the 13th series. Muhaha. And since it's no fun to run a haunted, cursed curio shop by yourself, I have two helpers on hand. So it is a thrill to introduce to you my Ryan and Micki, Trae Dean and Maya Murphy.

Hey, Patrick, how you doing?

Hi.

How's everyone?

Hi, everybody. I'll let you guys find out which one you are. I'm not going to assign gender roles to you because that's just rude.

I mean, in generals in the 80s are also complicated and I don't think I can make my hair do that. So we have to, we have to look at it.

Robey does carry a lot of responsibility with her, so. Yes. So welcome everybody. This is the first episode trying this out. We're going to see how this goes. And I think we're going to have some fun because this show, I think.

We'Re going to have some fun too.

So here's the thing. Here's the thing, you guys. Now Trae Dean and I, you know Trae Dean from ScreamQueenz and everything, you know my. From Screen, but you know, trade, you know Trae Dean longer. So he is quite familiar with the show. Maya has never seen it before.

Never seen it before. And I don't know what Patrick is dragging me on. So we're going to see what happens.

Oh, this is going to be a journey. It's going to be a fun journey.

There's so many surprises in store because as low budget as this, this show is and how janky it is, it goes to some really dark places sometimes. And I think a lot of it will have in a modern perspective, we'll have a lot to talk about.

Oh yeah.

And if nothing else, we can make fun of the clothes cuz girl.

Oh my goodness.

The clothes in the hair in one episode.

O.

But what are we talking about? We're of course talking About Friday the 13th, the series and we are talking about the pilot episode. And we are going to try to get together once a month, release an episode to you on the 13th. Because honestly, why wait for Friday?

Exactly. Uh huh.

We'll do that as long as we can. Maybe people come, maybe people go, whatever. We'll be flexible. We're flexible here at Janky Ass Goods. The pilot episode is called the Inheritance. Ding Dong Patrick from the future here. In these first few episodes of the show, we didn't pay any attention to who wrote it or who directed it or who any of the supporting actors were. It was a big story, focus on them and that was pretty much about it. But as the show went on, we started to focus on it more and more became a bigger part of the show. It even becomes a game later on. You'll see how that works out. But I'm here to start fixing our mistakes because it's not fair. It's not fair to all the wonderful people who worked on the show. So the Inheritance was directed by William Fruit. William Fruit is a huge contributor to the Friday the 13th series. One of the biggest contributors I should say. He directed 10 episodes and you will know him because he also directed such Canadian horror classics as Fast as Funeral Home Spasms, Killer Party and House by the Lake. And this episode was written by Bill Taub, who would later go on to write the Halloween and it tells from the Undead episode of Friday the 13th the series. And also worked on Chips and Super Train and if you were alive in the 70s and you did not experience the flop television that was super trained, you are really missing out. Ding Dong. Back to the show. They managed to pack a lot of business into one episode. They had a lot to set up. They have to set up the backstory, they have to set up your main three characters and you have to also get some person going on for a 47 minute show. They packed a lot of business in there.

By the time they started going after the doll, I thought, this show's almost over, this is gonna be a two parter. But they got everything done.

Timing was interesting for a pilot episode, like I was looking at it and I don't know, more of a movie structure. Like all right, if this third, that third. That third. And it was, I don't Know, they. I think they actually did a really nice job of setting up a way they could serialize it.

I agree. So what's going on here? When we first opened the show, we meet Uncle Louis from the title of.

The show, in the midst of I wrote down budget. Bryan Cranston.

Yeah, that's RG RG Armstrong. He pops up in genre stuff a lot. Ding Dong Patrick from the future. Again, correcting another even bigger mistake. In the original recording of this episode, I was extremely dismissive of actor RG Armstrong and his career because I didn't bother to do any research on it. I only knew his work from this and maybe one or two other movies like Children of the Corn. And I wrote him off as a hack. And I am embarrassed because when I went back and actually did some research, this guy is a Hollywood legend in his own right. 184 credits. If there was a Western TV show in the 50s, he was on it. If you need a slightly sinister Southern dude, you cast RG Armstrong. He made a whole career on it and he did tons of wonderful work. He was in El Dorado with John Wayne. He was in Predator. He was Prune Face and Dick Tracy. And for genre folks, he was in the car from the 70s, one of the craziest movies of the 70s. Race from the Devil, one of the best. One of the best American folk horror movies out there. Devil Dog, Hound of Hell, one of my favorite made for TV horror movies. But the thing that really blew my mind, because I'm a big theater geek, I had no idea that RG Armstrong was in Tennessee Williams Inner Circle stable of actors. R.G. armstrong was in the original Broadway companies of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof and Orphan's Descending. So everything I said about you, rj, in that original episode, I apologize. And I've edited it and it will never be heard again. No. Well, I did edit out all the stuff of me making fun of RG Armstrong's career. I'm leaving this stuff where I'm making fun of his performance, because let's face it, that is what we're here for. I mean, It's Friday the 13th, the series. We're here for the camp. And he is delivering camp here. And as I realized later, as we learned about the show later on these early episodes of Friday the 13th, the series, the production team, they weren't really clear on what direction they wanted the show to go. They were throwing a lot of stuff into the blender and seeing what stuck. And I stopped and thought about RG Is on Set by himself most of the time. He's never working with other actors and he's working with special effects that aren't there. They probably weren't giving him the best direction just because they didn't have the time or the focus. So we're leaving that in for now. But RJ Armstrong. I'm sorry, back to the show. He was in Children of the Corn.

He was like. He wasn't present in the moment. It was like he had learned designs this way and he was going to say him this way no matter what it was.

That's how he rolls.

And I've got.

He's probably. Wait, what am I doing? I have what with what? And I did what to whose.

And.

Okay.

And he's mad about it.

Oh, yeah, he's mad about it.

Yeah.

I just don't get his whole thing, but we'll talk about that a little bit later.

Well, we'll talk about it now, because. What's his thing? We're right here. We're right here at the top. He's not gonna be in the rest of the show.

So he has this shop that I guess he has cursed goods, but he doesn't want to sell them. He's holding on to them. We're given some explanation for his background, but it doesn't match what he does when we first see him.

Maya's making faces, so I think she's got something to say.

Oh, well, they. They do explain that he had made a deal with the devil. He did have these cursed objects, and he was sending the curses out to their new homes, but he dies as a result of no longer peddling the devil's wares.

Yeah, okay. That's right. Yeah.

He double. He double dealed the devil and it didn't work. Never works. Actually, the single deal with the devil never works either, as you learn from the show. Because one of the things they only touched on in the show is that once these items have been cursed, the curse can't be broken and the items can't be destroyed.

So it's not like that episode of Rick and Morty.

No.

There's an episode of Rick and Morty where one of the main characters is literally working at a pawn shop with the devil. But her, like, super science grandpa finds out how to remove curses and they do it for a steep price.

I had no idea they did it. Friday the 13, the series episode. That's awesome. I haven't seen all of Rick and Morty. Is it season three?

Season two.

I thought I saw those. Well, I'll just have to watch them all again anyway because they go by so fast. You can't hold on everything. Oh, yeah, no. So. So Uncle. Uncle Lewis has made a deal with the devil. Well, what we find out later was that part of it was for eternal youth. I was like, that didn't work for eternal youth.

It was just immortality. It was, oh, you're right.

You're right. Or immortality.

But still you this young and this pretty. But it was also, he's going to be very wealthy. And if he was very wealthy, where'd all the money go? All he left to is nieces, nephews, assorted kin was a pawn shop. Like, where's. Or an antique shop. Excuse me, but, like, wouldn't there be more wealth with the wealth?

He wasn't very good at what he did.

He was dealing in devil dollars, which doesn't really work in Canada.

Oh, you can't redeem them at the end of the game.

All the tariffs. The tariffs have affected satanic communities on devil dollars.

They don't handle those devil dooders up there. No, sir. No, they don't. No, they don't. I'm sorry. I've been busting on. It's been a Canada movie week. Like, I've done, like, three podcasts about Canadian movies, so I'm stuck in Canada and I'm just loving it. I love it up here. It's nice. I'm gonna stay here.

And the weather is cold.

But they have a couple good musicals about them anyway. Not the point right now. We have digressed already, so. Yes, but like, as Maya said, he has reneged on his deal and the devil is not having it and kills his ass by dropping him down the elevator shaft, which somehow goes directly.

I want to talk about the sequence that leads up to throwing him down the elevator shaft to hell. Because there's ghosts of objects. There's the ghost of a radio, and he's like, holy shit, it's a radio.

No, don't come get me. That radio's coming back, honey.

There's a ghost of a crucifix, and he tries to grab the crucifix ghost and it burns his hand.

There's a cursed crucifix that is really.

Fun, but it's not even present. It's the ghost of a cursed crucifixion. We got layers on layers here.

But if there is a ghost of a ghost crucifix and it all came out in there, all those other things are in there, that means there is a curse crucifix in there somewhere.

Around the world. And then. And then when they do throw, when the devil does get him down the elevator shaft, we see the literal fires of hell. And it's very dramatic.

The whole thing looks like a video game cut scene. The special effects are totally.

Well, that's the thing. That's the whole thing that they got an Emmy for this. They got an Emmy nomination for the special effects. And there's just so of the time. There's so even. Even at the time, they were bad. Because the first time I saw this was actually not this episode with the following episode, Poison Pen. And there is some animation in that that may.

You're gonna be like, I look forward to it.

Why did you even try?

But I also. The opening shot being the most 80s thing I have ever seen. It's a crane shot outdoors, like in an alley during a thunderstorm. It opened like half the movies of my childhood. It was just like they were digging the bottom of the barrel of all these 80s tropes and they were trying to stick them together and going.

And hey, Micki was playing hey, Micki. Which actually would have been appropriate.

Which would have been very appropriate for me.

I didn't even think of that. Yeah. But what we did forget is that before he goes down the elevator shaft, he's got one last bunch of customers that come in and oh, boy, are they pains in the asses.

Oh, it's a family. Yeah.

Family comes in with their little. With the little girl. And the little girl is played by Sarah Polley, Academy Award nominee.

Good in this ding dong.

And since the time we recorded, Academy Award winner Sarah Polley. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, I'm talking about the Academy Award that you won for writing the screenplay for Women Talking, which she also directed, by the way. She was nominated for best screenplay as well in 2008 for away with Her. But acting wise, you'll know her from things like Blue Monkey, directed also by William Fruet, Go. Dawn of the Dead remake and the sweet Hereafter.

She was good in this.

She was good. She was doing the child actor thing of just having a blank face, like she was present and interacting with other people. And I like.

That's because she's really evil, I think.

I mean, there's nothing wrong with that for me.

No, not at all. Because we're all evil. I got that. No, I love. I appreciate. Like, she's making. She's making. She's making. She's given Patty McCormick realness from bad State at a certain point. But she's like, really enjoying being bad. Mary, you really should listen to your mom.

Mother.

She's not my mother. My real mother's dead.

Are you going to stand there and let her talk to me like that?

Yeah.

She gets some drama in a couple of other scenes. She gets some dramatic moves.

Yeah. But you got. The thing with this series is, of course, because it is TV and they have to move the story along. The things are usually drawn in really broad strokes.

Really broad strokes. But like, the laziest writing, because it turns out the woman who comes in is not the little girl's bio mom. She's the new mom. Because bio mom died.

And new moms are always bad.

Always bad. Even though it's obvious that new mom is, like, trying ding dong.

Playing the new stepmom is actress Lynn Cormack. Lynn Cormac had a completely respectable career in Canadian TV. She did stints on shows like Goosebumps, Warehouse 13, and one of my favorites, Murdoch Mysteries. She was also in David Cronenberg's Dead Ringers. And she will be back on Friday the 13th. The series later this season is one of our most gnarly villains in what a mother Wouldn't do. Ding dong.

And the girl goes, she's not my mother. And I wrote that. I wrote, you're not my dad. Like, it was just the. All these phrases you've heard before. Because I just didn't have time to write the characters more in depth, I guess.

No. And they probably didn't have a lot of time or a big budget either. So, you know, or if this was even gonna fly.

Like, don't touch anything. The little girl's like, I will touch everything. No, it was great, though. She's like, don't touch that.

She walked over to the toys and is looking at her mom going, I'm playing with this. With that face on, like, before anything evil happened. She's like, I'm gonna play with this character.

She was always evil before she.

Oh, look, a music box. Mommy, this looks expensive.

Lewis is sitting there. He's like, he knows this stuff is cursed, so he goes downstairs, Right?

These people came in to get out of the storm, basically, is what happened. So. Yeah.

And also the mother. She reminded me so much of Mink Stole from Serial Mom.

Ooh, I'm a divorced woman. Please help me.

The scene later where she's wearing the denim shirt that's all be dazzled. And her hair is kind of crazy.

Oh, oh, spoiler. That's my fashion choice. We'll get into that. Because that whole outfit Is amazing.

Yeah, we have tot alk about that

It is a head to toe look.

But she reminded me.

Mink stole.

And yeah, the little girl just is touching everything.

The guy says the devil comes out with the radio.

And she finds this.

Video might have killed the radio star, but the radio star killed Uncle Lewis, the radio ghost. So now we flash forward to the future and oh man, we get to meet Micki, played by the infamous Robey.

She's. I don't remember her character being this.

Wait, wait, we're skipping. We're skipping the first death in the show. We can't flash forward yet. We have to. The little girl steals the doll.

She. Oh, that's right, she does steal the doll. I forgot that she stole the doll.

I thought that came short. And it's still raining. But this antique shop is right next to a car mechanic for reasons. And these like adult. I mean young adult, but adult men try to be like, hey, what's up with you? Where's your parents? Why are you outside? She's like, I don't like you. And her adult, like, tries to kill them.

Hey, where's your parents?

This is no place for a little girl like you.

You better leave us alone. You have a smart little mouth too. Go away. You can have anything you want, Mary.

No.

One kills one, slits one's throat.

Slit someone's throat with her razor sharp doll.

Dolls, fingies.

It's technical talk

But the doll has started talking to her, which is great.

Hello, Mary. My name is Vida. You can talk. I can do a lot of things and so can you. We're gonna be the best of friends.

You can do anything. Anything and more.

It's aspirational.

And I just love that the doll. The doll has got dramatic eyebrows.

Big Elvira eyebrows. Yeah.

I was like this. Obviously it's evil. Yeah, obviously.

What I loved about those two guys is one of them comes up like, are you okay? She goes, my mom told me not to talk to strangers. And he goes, oh, you got a smart mouth, kid.

Yeah, you got a smart mouth. That's not a weird thing to hear saying to a child.

That's. No, no.

And then so the guy gets his and we never hear about it ever again.

The girl comes, comes back in and they put the doll back in the shop.

Yeah, yeah.

And then they, they, they fuck off. And then we get the titles to the show. No, we were.

Then Uncle Lewis dies. Then whatever happens, it's commercial.

Commercial break.

Let me think about products that would like to buy for a few minutes. That was. Back to the show. Simply flash forward and we get to meet Micki and Ryan, who are, you know, the. The niece and nephew of Uncle Lewis. Though far distant, they haven't met each other yet, but they're the inheritance. They're the. They've received the legacy.

Okay, here's the thing. They're cousins. They've never met. They don't ever talk about shared family connections. And then he didn't even give them this as inheritance. They were like a probate, and they're the only ones left who could receive it. So what's their family like? What's the whole family tree?

I'd say it's a little messed up because he definitely kind of hits on her when they first meet, and it's gross.

I'm your cousin Micki.

How do you do?

Michelle Foster.

Michelle, She's. I. I thought the telegram said Michael Foster. I was expecting a guy. Forgive me, please. So. Sure does change things. Not really.

Oh, welcome to the rest of the series.

Oh, no, it's gonna be.

There's always. No, it's always a vibe that you're going, did the writers forget that they're related? Even though it's by marriage?

Is it?

It's by marriage. That's determined later.

Did you establish that later?

Because it wasn't determined later. I checked the IMDb beforehand to make sure that somebody. At some point, somebody's like, we can't let this happen.

I mean, Edgar Allan Poe married his cousin, so it's fine.

And she was like, 11, so whatever, it works.

Okay. She was 14, and it was.

Oh, okay, that's better.

Jerry Lee Lewis.

Now she can make rational choices.

Well, actually. Actually, no, I can't.

I can't.

Shit on Poe. He was trying to save her from a bad situation, and he just married her to keep her out of the shitty Mar market. So, like, pose fine. Not for anyone else, though. All right.

Okay. All right, all right. As LeslieJordan would say, you also have to remember this is the pilot episode, so they're still feeling out the character. She is extremely uptight. And the women's fast and choices this. In this, I realize, are a reflection of the time. But the word that kept coming into my head was voluminous.

Oh, yeah.

There's an entire can of Aquanet going on in her hair, and it is glorious.

Welcome to Robey. Welcome to the world, Robey. That whole show is like. It's a whole series about how her hair can change from shot to shot. And this is. This is fairly tame.

Her eyeshadow goes, like, into her hairline it's the biggest, 80sest makeup.

Well, her hair is wider than her shoulders a lot of times.

Yeah, Yeah. I mean, her shoulders are with your teensy weeny.

I was talking about clothes. Oh, yeah. Well.

And honestly, I. I don't think she ever wore a bra in this episode.

I. I didn't see one.

That's my other fashion choice. Which we'll come back to later. Local circle back around. Yeah, because she's in like long, blousy things and she's trying to be like, oh, like FA fa, fa fa. Which she carries a bit of every. Now. Later on the series. But part of that's just her because she's got that strange geographically untraceable accent that's kind of fancy.

Oh, yeah. She kept dropping a weird vowel or two. And I was like, where are you? Are you Danish? Like, what's happening?

Well, when she first meets Ryan, she's like, you're right. Ryan. What's his last name? And she just.

And it's Doliar. Just something like. But all the last names in this are weird except her.

The lion, his last name is. And he's like, deleon. Deleon.

Oh, you must be Ryan deleon.

Don't tell me you're Ryan Dalion.

Yeah, that's me. Ryan the Lion.

Ryan the Lion.

And Ryan never work, Always wear shorts. Always wear shorts tucked in, maybe a sports jacket thrown over it.

Occasionally wore socks maybe once. His looks actually dead on.

The skinny tie with the button up and the shorts was.

Okay. This, that.

Yeah, egregious.

Oh, I forgot about that when they reopened the show. I was just talking about this particular scene. He's just in like surfer shorts on a purple T shirt. He looks actually respectively 80s without looking ridiculous. I'm like, you look all right. Although the character's awful, the first thing he does is try to. She goes to the shop, and of course it's closed.

none of the lights are on.

On, but the door is open, but this candles lit. So she's walking around, he jumps out with a mask and scares her. And she hits him in the head with the vase. And I was like, good, you're gonna make up for three years this bullshit right now. Because he's a pain in my ass. I don't like Ryan.

Well, also, the taxi drops her off right there. Like, she's gonna stay there. She has her bags with her and she's struggling with her baggage. I'm like, didn't you check into a hotel? Guess not.

Well, there is a residence upstairs, but we haven't seen that yet. So.

Does she know that?

I don't know. I assume that you know something about the property. I don't know. I don't know. Don't ask these questions. But no, it's just. Yeah. So there's a lot of time exploring this. They have to. May have their meet. Cute.

And she's just so uptight and such a little pris. I don't like her.

She wants to sell. He wants to keep the place. I don't know why. She just can't sell her half to him.

Right, That's. That's what I was thinking. Like, this obviously isn't a life that appeals to her because she has her douchebag lawyer fiance.

Oh, we gotta talk.

Who we never hear from again.

Wait, really?

Ding dong. Yes. Yes, we do hear from again. I was 100% wrong. And in fact, Lloyd is a major player in the episode Root of all Evil. I don't know what I'm talking about. Back to the show.

I was looking forward to more time with him, so.

But they're engaged with Lloyd. With Lloyd. I think she might talk about him or something, but I don't recall him ever coming back.

And when he's in there, he's like, maybe I could sue Ryan and get some litigation.

Oh, yeah.

Get some litigation experience. Like, that's not. That's not how that works, buddy.

Yeah. And also family. Hi. New family. Haven't met yet. Let's sue them as a meeting. That's a good idea. That's a great idea. I'm cutting my eyes at you. Which works really well on audio podcast. What else do I got in here? I love the doll's name is Vida, by the way.

Yeah. I mean, is that gonna come into play? Why is her name life? Why is her name Italian?

Because she's a Vida. I just made her. Ivita.

I want to tell the people I.

Had to let it be in your playroom. You can do everything that you should have more cookies. We've jumped, but there's a whole thing where them just. They explore a lot. You know, they find the vault, but they don't know what is. And Micki gets locked in there because she's the girl and, you know, has 10 seconds of being scared.

The doll moves when she's in there, and she's all like, ah.

And Ryan, like, falls down, and the.

Radio'S like, I'm a radio.

Hey. But as Micki ran, like, falls down, grabs the very basement banister, and it just kind of twists in her hand.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The. When they get out of the basement, she trips and falls, twists the banister, and it opens a secret panel in the ceiling. And that's where the actual records of the sold items was hidden.

Which means that old man was climbing up in the ceiling every night to put that book away.

How many people did we sell cursed objects to? That's not too bad.

Although, in the midst of this, they. They're in the garage, and they find, like, an old Rolls Royce, whatever it is. And he's like, where

wherer would my lady care to go?

She's like,

home, James, and don't spare the horses.

She gets in the backseat of the car, and a cat is literally hurled in her face.

And she gets pissed.

Wait, does the cat come back? Do we see the cat?

No, that cat doesn't jump through the window. It is the wrong face. Have you seen that video, either one of you? I want to say it's from Funny or Die. It's a video about the guy whose job it is to throw cats at people in horror movies. It's very funny. It's very funny. Yeah, that was a good one. That was a good one. That cat flew. That cat had some aerodynamic.

Yes, that's funny.

Oh, she's terrified of the cat, and he makes a joke about her dying as a result.

Because it was black. It was a black cat.

It was black.

Yeah, because it didn't cross your. It's bad luck when it crosses your path. When it's thrown in your face, it's.

Now technically crossed your path.

Her reaction is so over the top. She's just, like. Storms out in a huff, man.

Well, she had some voluminous garments on. You get cat claws in there. None of that's coming out. Just, like, tangle up on all of itself. It'd be terrible. Layers upon layers, the poor thing. Leave Micki alone. Leave her alone.

So then they're deciding to just keep the store open and sell all the stuff?

Yeah, they're doing a fire sale. Come buy your weird old stuff. And they're gonna split the money. I assume.

I don't know.

I assume we never get that far because, well, yeah, they're like, okay, fine, fine. We'll just sell everything. Well, actually, it ends with Ryan saying, there is no way in hell I'm gonna sell anything in this store.

Ryan, this might come as a great shock to you, but I don't want this store. I came here to sell everything off.

Sell it. This has been given to us as a sacred trust passed down from generation to Generation.

What the crap, Ryan? We didn't even know Uncle Lewis. Thank God for that.

Okay, what if I don't want to sell?

Ryan, we're selling.

Over my dead body.

Smash cut to the immediate fire sale of everything in Curious.

Good.

Sorry, Ryan. Try again next time. Next time.

Then we cut to them selling everything in the store.

Going out of business store. And my OCD went nuts because their fire sale sign was crooked. Noticeably on a diagonal. Like not a fancy diagonal, but just like crooked but obvious.

But then also. Okay, so the guy who was the father from the beginning comes in to buy the doll for his daughter and he mentions that they were there six months earlier.

Ding dong. Mary's father was played by Michael Fletcher. Michael Fletcher had a completely respectable career in Canadian tv. Did a lot of voiceover work on things like Arthur and Free Willy, the TV show. He was a regular on a TV show called the Home Court, which I'm not familiar with, but it's his biggest role. And he was also in something called Dracula, the chamber musical in which he played Van Helsing, which sounds fabulous. Bang bong. Back to the show.

So I'm guessing it's been a six month time gap from when Lewis was killed to when the kid, Micki and Ryan show up.

Yeah, because probate.

Yeah. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Legal stuff takes forever.

So he has to buy the doll for his daughter.

Yeah. So he shows up to buy the doll for that daughter finally. Because I guess whatever. Mom's back is turned. Stepmom's back is turned.

Stepmom, not my mom.

This is gonna get really better later on. This is working out better than I planned. But you don't know that yet. Anyways.

Good.

Yeah. And he's like, do you have a doll with a mouth? A little doll with a mouth that moves like a puppet.

And it's evil eyebrows.

And it's evil eyebrows and has Joan.

and has Crawford eyebrows and really, really sharp fingers.

Super sharp fingers. But also like we never fully decide on the powers of the doll. Like talk. It has sharp fingers.

Telekinetic.

Telekinetic.

It can control the weather.

It can control the weather.

It can control playground equipment.

It's pyrokenetic it makes fire also.

They get a lot better with that as the series goes on.

Oh, good.

But you're right, it is complete is a non specified. Well, it's just like Annabelle animal's like, I don't do anything. I just lay here.

Annabelle. I just watched Conjuring. I. I've only seen Annabelle Lite

They're just like it doesn't do anything. It literally does nothing. The doll does.

No.

Yeah, nothing. Everywhere.

I want to see doll run on, kill people. And it doesn't do any of that.

Oh, man.

But doesn't have any specified powers on it. We're not talking about Annabelle. This is not the Annabelle cast.

No, it's not.

Micki's like, no, he can't tell that doll. I felt something scary in the. I mean, it's not for sale. I'm sorry. It's not. It's not for sale. I can't do. At some point, I'm gonna have to learn to do a Robey impression.

I'm gonna write it out.

I just have to listen to her cover of One Night in Bangkok over and over again.

Oh, it's terrible. That's a terrible.

That was the first version I heard of that song. I heard it long before the actual version. I was like, hey, they're ripping off that Friday the 13th girl, and we're off topic again. And you know what? Since we're already on a tangent, we're gonna stay on one. So I'm gonna let Trae and Maya tend to themselves for a little bit, and we're just gonna sit here and dish. They have got plenty to gossip about. But we need to talk. Because something that I've learned that I've discovered since I've suddenly found myself proprietor of this small, out of the way, secondhand, slightly curved gift boutique that you never know who's just gonna pop by, you know, they might come by for chat or maybe to shop or maybe to use your restroom without actually buying anything. Use your restroom without buying anything, and then use up all the toilet paper and leave the seat up. I know what you did, Manuel Canary. Okay, I saw you. Okay? Just because he had on one of those Golden Girls wigs from your show, I was not fooled. And the skid marks, that's just. Anyway, we're not talking about it, but you'll never believe who popped by just this morning. No, not him. Nope. Not her either. Okay, fine, I'll tell you. Ron Perlman.

Yes.

Yes, it's true. Yes, it's true. He came by to talk about his take on the whole Friday the 13th series, particularly the Inheritance. What, you didn't think we know each other? Of course we do. Please, let's just sit back and think about that time that Ron Perlman just popped by the door. The door's opening. Jingle, jingle. And there's Ron. And I think he said something like this. Such props.

When he translated his Friday the 13th movies to television. Instead of the Bloody Killer, Jason Mancusa returned to the classic elements of horror, mystery, suspense, the struggle between good and evil. He also tossed in a sexy heroine, Micki Foster, played by the lovely actress Robey. You'll meet her later.

Now, of course. Right now I'm ready to die with excitement. The man just said I'm going to meet Robey later. I mean, I've already met her at Horrorhound weekend, but to think maybe having a one on one chat with her right here in my lovely, slightly dusty, second hand, slightly cursed used goods shop, that would be something. Although I was excited, I was also getting a little, well, I don't know, a little disturbed. There was something about the way he said, I also remember threw in a sexy heroine. Her name's Robey. You'll meet her later. Okay? Who are you? Are you her pimp? Wait, what? I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Am I not worthy of seeing Robey right now? Is that the thing? Am I not presentable enough to Robey? Well, that is just rude, sir. That is extremely rude, Mr. Perlman. And it's also extremely rude that even though you're talking to me, you don't seem to be actually seeking any sort of response from me. And it's kind of like a not even here and you're reading from some kind of teleprompter somewhere. Of course, it's probably just my imagination. So why don't we just let the man talk? I mean, far be it from me to throw out, well, the only man that's been alone in my presence in far too long. All right, I'm desperate. I'm desperate and curious. Good. Shut up. Ron's talking.

This pilot episode is called the Inheritance. Micki and her wisecracking cousin Ryan inherited dilapidated antique shop. Immediately they sell off every object in the place. You'll see the chilling consequence of their actions in this very first episode of Friday the 13th, the Series A channel where you may know me as Vincent the Beast in Beauty and the Beast. You'll see that pilot episode tomorrow.

Okay, hold on a minute, Ron. Ron, who died and left you my events coordinator? Because you seem to be lining up all these pilots for me to be watching. Look, I have my own pilot to be working on. I'm working on a pilot right now. You're very bossy. And there's just something about you today. You don't seem yourself. You just seem very bland. You're a very charismatic actor, but you're just all blank and seemingly uncomfortable. Where is that weird, incongruous, jaunty music coming from. Is somebody playing some kind of video game in the background? What's happening? I don't really appreciate being talked down to. Please don't need to mansplain Friday the 13th the series to me. I understand what the concept of the show was. And I also know about the pilot episode called the Inheritance, because I'm totally talking about it right now with my own guest on my own pilot. Okay, so you can just take a step back. Vincent. No, no, no, don't leave, don't leave, don't leave. What? It suddenly did, okay, it just suddenly dawned on me. I think maybe ol Vincent, Mr. Perlman here might have a little crush on Robey. I think maybe it's a little uncomfortable to see her in this interview that she's going to do right now, which is weird because it just kind of popped up on a screen next to him. I don't know is a Siri thing. I really don't know what's happening, but it's fabulous. Whatever it is, it's fabulous. Just go with me.

Well, the beauty in today's premiere episode of Friday the 13th the series is Micki Foster, portrayed by actress Louise and Robeye, or simply Robey, as her credit appears. Recently, Robey told us that in the beginning, Micki was a bit of a snob.

The pilot was interesting because she got thrown into complete chaos. Total chaos. She had no idea what she was getting into, as would none of us. I don't think somebody raised on the streets would understand how to deal with the legacy of your uncle who made a deal with the devil.

Okay, kids, right now is when I started to get really disturbed because, yeah, okay, Robey. Robey just popped up and everything. But I'm also noticing she seems really uncomfortable too, and kind of spacey. And you couldn't see it, but her hair, it looked like it had been well ironed. It was flat. What happened to you, girl? And something. The way she's talking, it's not sound like she's not only talking about the series, it's talking about her life. Just like I had no idea. The chaos. There was no way to prepare for the chaos that was in store. There's just no way. Total chaos. Are you implying, young woman, that if I was homeless, I would be able to fight evil? I'd be able to fight off ghost radios or whatever that is. Classist. And what did you do to your hair? Oh, oh.

Oh.

Now it's become clear. I think, yeah, I think definitely that Robey and Ron Perlman at some point in the past, were totally boning. And now that they're both on set with me and they know how perceptive I am, well, they know that I see right through the both of them. Total, total chaos. Oh, my God, I'm dying. How will this play out?

Before Friday the 13th, Louise Robey was a rock and roll singer in Los Angeles. She had an international hit with the single One Night in from the musical Chess. Remember a woman's voice speaking the line, I get my kicks from the neck up, sunshine. That was Robey.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold your roll, Ron Perlman. You just stop right there. Cause I gotta know right now before you go any further, who the fuck are you talking about? What the fuck are you talking about? Because I gotta tell you something, Ron. I don't remember a woman's voice saying, I get my kicks above the neck, whatever the fuck it is you said, because that person doesn't exist. Robey, in her international hint one night in Bangkok actually said,

I get my.Kicks above the waistline, sunshine.

I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine. I don't understand it either, but you know what? Those are the goddamn lyrics, not whatever bullshit you just said. Ron Perlman. I can't believe I've been sitting here worried about the two of you, thinking that you had some relationship and that you were being awkward around each other. Bitch, you don't even know her. Maybe that pale faced, slow talking, total chaos woman in that studio that you brought with you with that hate crime of a hairstyle on her head. Maybe she sang that on her international hit album, but it sure was a romy, because she isn't Robey. And you know what? I don't think you're Ron Perlman either, motherfucker.

This is.

God damn it, Uncle Lewis. You're up to your old tricks. Get behind me, Satan. Get behind me, Satan. Get the fuck out of my store. Take your stringy hair, bitch with you. And take that crusty damn toilet bowl with you as well. That's gotta have some curse on it now to just. Get out. Get out. I can't. My God. My first brush with evil. That's the thing. Trae and Maya missed the whole thing. Well, they'll never believe it, so let's just not tell them, okay? Let's just pretend none of this has happened. And then it wasn't me having watched a clip of Ron Perlman doing an intro segment during a Friday the 13th marathon on the Sci Fi channel like 100 years ago, I was watching a Clip of that on YouTube and actually thought it was happening in real life. Let's not pretend that was happening, okay? That I've been alone too long this summer and that perhaps I've got a little bonkers in the store. Let's do the Irish Catholic thing and decide it never happened and we'll never talk about it again. Okay? We're gonna get back to Trae and Maya and we're gonna continue where we left off, which was on a tangent, which we're totally done with now for the rest of the show. Anyway, the kid winds up with the doll, and immediately bad things start to happen. Can you still talk? Hmm? She was like, can you still talk?

She's like, oh, yeah, a lot of things. And so can you.

Let's kill people.

Let's. Yeah, let's kill people. And get cookies.

And get cookies. You know what? For Saturday afternoon or Sunday afternoon, That's a squad. Goals.

I also, I love how the doll hisses like a cat.

Every time.

Every time. So. So the little girl holds the doll out in front of her, extends her arms fully. She thrusts the doll's mouth open and it goes. And then the bad things happen when the doll is hissing.

Yeah, yeah.

Because we forgot all about her Freddy Krueger fingers or whatever that was.

We got more creative. We didn't know we could make playgrounds explode.

She's like, I just got my nails did. I am not doing this again. Okay? Do you know how much these acrylics cost? Thank you. Doll sized acrylics.

Jack's showing up.

Oh, right. Jack shows up for some reason dressed like a druid.

Yeah, yeah, because that's inconspicuous. They come back into the shop and he's a mysterious hooded figure in the dark. And it's like, oh, yeah, I know. I was close friends with your. Your guy.

And yeah, that was another character. They didn't know what to do with it first. But I actually. Jack is my favorite character.

Oh, okay, good.

Overall, he's like. He's like the soul. He's the center, and he's the best actor of them.

Yes.

I would always watch the show going, you're so much better than the show. How did you get involved in the show?

He wants to get paid, man.

As I tune in week after week.

We need him for all the episodes exposition. Because he goes, oh, well, there was a deal with the devil. Here's why all the objects are cursed here.

I'm Captain Exposition.

Yeah, well, horror always suffers from big info dumps

because the three of them Together. But just getting together is so tortured because he shows up and they're immediately like, okay, we trust.

Holds them at knife point.

And everything he says they roll with. And he's just like, whatever he says.

Oh, yeah, of course. Because Ryan recognized it from his comic books.

Sneaking into our property this way, like, exactly. Also, he said he made deliveries. Like, because the. The dead uncle sold things, but he made devil related deliveries. Are we going to dive into that later in the series?

I was thinking the same thing.

I think he. I think he made. Because he said what they. The backstory that we got was that back in the day that Uncle Lewis and Jack Marshack grew up together, they were old friends. And it was Jack who first introduced him to the occult.

Look, Lewis was always deathly afraid of growing old. And he was passionate about wealth. And those two things ruled him until he dabbled in things that I wanted no part of. Like what? Like deucens.

Devil worship.

Very good. How did you know that?

Comic books. Deucens is a name, ancient name, given by the Gauls for demon or devil.

Yes, Diablerie. Lewis was always telling me that he'd done his research and that he was ready to make a pact with the devil. Something to do with his antiques, in exchange for which he would get immense wealth and immortality.

Well, he couldn't have done that. He wouldn't be dead, would he?

Thanks, Robey. We wouldn't have been able to crack the code on that one without you. Robey and Daniel Webster all rolled up into one. My God. And Jack is working on the good side of stuff. But at certain point, Uncle Lewis decided that the bad side was the better way to go. He decided he was a Slytherin.

Yeah, but he sells antiques to the. To Lewis. But I guess just not the cursed ones.

Yeah, not everything in the store is cursed. I guess, but I don't know. I don't. I don't know. That's a vaguer. Vagaries. Vagaries. But you know, they didn't figure it out. Yeah, so we can't figure out. Just go with it. You roll with it. Let it wash over you. Just keep the plot going. It's only 47 minutes. And they believe everything and they realize Jack makes the connection. Like, wait a minute. Hold on a second. I found they. Jack finds in another secret compartment a book of newspaper clippings about weird accidents.

And they start comparing the dates on the newspaper clippings versus the dates of the items sold. So like, oh, was there a. A fancy evening gown sold close to this date. And they go, yes, there was one sold and goes, someone died in a fire in an evening gown two days later. And they're like, oh, no, they're all cursed.

Yeah, the lightning rod that got hit with lightning.

So already, you know there's gonna be some ironic deaths showing up.

Yeah, yeah, they. They didn't try too hard with those two, but, yeah, that's basically how it goes. And they have to get everything back. They make the blood. We have to get. We. We did this. We. We let everything out of that vault. We sold this. We got to get it back.

And so they said, okay, well, we go. Gotta go. We gotta go get that. Now we know that one because it was talking. Finally. Finally, she fesses up and she's like, it set up and it was talking. And so they go. But they're too late, because the doll is already. Mary. Have killed.

Killed yet.

Well, I'm. Yeah, well, they get. When they get. Yeah, we jumped around a bit, but yeah, they. They get to the house in time for the ambulances to be taking the dead body of the stepmother out, because.

She'S not dead yet.

Oh, you're right. You're right, you're right. So sorry.

She's been harmed.

She's hurt. You know what? I didn't recognize her outside of her outfit. No.

We have to talk. Are we talking about the outfit now or the end of the episode?

You know what? I was gonna save the fashion awards till the end.

Let's just do it. Let's wait then. Let's wait.

I'll just get. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

Wait.

But I think we already know who won. And I don't know, for me, who lost. So we all lost.

So our heroes get to the house, and the ambulance is outside, and it turns out that the little girl help of the evil doll has gotten her, not the mom, to slip on a roller skate and fall dramatically down the stairs.

Well, in a roller skate, that the doll telekinetically moves behind her so that the mother steps on it and falls down the stairs. And.

But the girl is also very complicit because she holds it all out in front of her, stepping forward, encouraging the mother to step back because it's scary. So she steps on the roller skate.

I'm going to have to take away your new doll.

No.

Yes.

Now you can have her back in a week after you've had some time to think about keeping your promises. Mary.

No. You'll never take her away.

Mary, give me that doll.

You give me that doll this instant. Now you get in your room, young lady, and you stay there. All right, that's it. You're asking for it now.

Mary. Did you hear me?

I said give me that doll.

They'd already talked about punishing her because mom interrupted their tea party.

How very dare they?

Are you having fun? Huh? Are you?

Lots.

You know your mommy's really very mean to you.

She's not my real mom. I hate her.

Oh, I see. She doesn't let you buy as many toys as your daddy, does she?

Nope.

She didn't even want me to have you.

Hmm.

I think that maybe she should be punished, don't you? What do you think we should do? I think we should.

Mary, I want to have a little talk.

No. I'm having a tea party with my friend.

Don't you speak to me in that tone of voice, young lady.

And what they think was good was that they talked about how she left her bicycle out. And then the establishing shop for the house has a bicycle on the lawn. And then later on, like, a few days later, it's still on the lawn.

I got that too. I got that too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So Mary's like, girl, just trying to have a kiki with her stuffed animals. Leave her alone.

The mom's dead, but she's like, I'm still leaving it alone just for you. Burning hell.

She's trying to set up some basic boundaries with her stepchild, which I can't imagine is easy. Even when the child doesn't have a possessed toy.

No. And it doesn't sound like Mom's been dead for very long either. So dad picked her up very quickly.

That's Dad's fault. Not new Mom's fault.

Oh, I don't know. Who knows? It's kind of. Unless there was hanky panky going on before mom died. But again, we're adding stuff that's not there.

We can't know. We can't know.

No. Because we got great stuff coming up. Because that girl is sitting with the doll on the curb, and Micki comes up and she's like, hi. Don't be afraid. I'm a fun stranger.

Don't be afraid. I'm your friend. We just want to talk to you for a minute.

You're not a friend. Go away.

That's a great way. That's a thing that everybody trusts.

Where it's, you wanna get in my van? I got a puppy in there.

I got some cookies.

And the girl just basically takes the doll. The hissing is hilarious.

They were consistent with that, though. I thought we were only gonna get one hiss. And then it was like. No, that's like the activation noise. Now.

Don't. Just don't. Don't.

I'm gonna keep doing it.

Oh, no, you betta don't.

But then, so they go to the hospital. The hospital with a mother. She's, like, in a neck. Neck brace, and her head is bandaged. It's just very unspecified because she wakes up, and the husband's like, don't talk. Don't.

Yeah, don't. Don't try to talk. I'll get you a doctor. And he leaves his kid and the evil doll in the room alone with his wife, who is now awake.

Yeah. And then they kill her ass

But how did they kill her? It's never.

They gave her a heart attack. They did. She. The doll. She knew the doll was evil, like.

On the woman's face, and she's, like, kind of being suffocated. And then they. They show us the. The.

the hospital line thing.

There's a beep, beep, beep. And then it goes beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. And then, like, the doll is on her face, but they say it's a heart attack.

I think it scared her to death.

Oh, yeah, that's fine. I'll take that.

I'll take that. Or it was just in her mouth, going, like, directly in her mouth. But actually, I felt bad for stepmom here because she's all in. This actually just happened in the movie I talked about today, where someone is completely in a body cast and is being threatened and literally cannot do anything to stop what's about to happen to them.

And the best thing is the husband walks in, eyes rolling, and the little girl goes back to her seat while the husband's finding his wife dead. And she starts smiling and playing with.

The doll and giggling. She's giggling. And the husband's very upset, obviously, because he sees his wife is dead.

That's two.

Oh, I forgot to say, my favorite part of the show.

Yes.

Is earlier when the mother is arguing with the daughter right on the stairway right before she dies. The little girl, like, she says, go to your room. Little girl stops to her room, stops halfway, turns around, looks at the mother for two counts, and then whips around and just walks back to her room.

She had some tude. Mary had some tunes.

She was the one. Yeah.

She was getting ready for GO in that performance. Oh, yeah. I love that movie.

Such a great movie.

It's a great movie. So Dated, but so good. But yeah. So where are we now? Oh, so, yeah, Micki and Ryan show up and they had to investigate. Blah, blah, where are we now? Whatever. It's boring.

Do you remember me? We saw you yesterday.

And the doll s like, oh, God, do I have to do it again? Hold on.

Oh, but first we. First we have the babysitter.

Oh, that's right. We get the. So the very distraught widower husband, father guy gets the. Down the street, older lady neighbor to babysit his child and the doll while.

He goes make funeral arrangements. And, oh, boy, was he going for an Emmy.

Thank you for coming over on such short notice. I have to make the funeral arrangements and I.

It's all right. That's what neighbors are for. You'll be okay.

It's not me I'm worried about.

Poor Mary.

She's lost two mothers now.

Oh, yeah. He did the fake crying voice, which is, you know, acting.

She's lost two mothers now.

She's lost two mothers now.

Go. Let's go for three, dad.

So this.

There's some hot nurses at the hospital. Dad. Hey.

Supposed to be taking care of the girl, and the girl has her doll, and she's surrounded by all these very, very expensive large stuffed animals.

Yeah, this kid is. More cookies. Yeah.

And the babysitting lady is like, no, you have had most of the packet of cookies. I don't think that's a good idea.

Oh, that looks like. No, I want cookies. I want them now. And the baby's like, okay, fine. There you go.

Here you go. And they kill her anyways.I don't remember why

because she was acting up. She was acting. She got sassy about the cookies. And I'm playing audio for this. Yeah.

She said she's like a nap. And so. Oh, no.

Oh, no, we don't take no naps. No.

So then she.

Are we going to the disco?

No naps, I said.

We want some more cookies. And now, honey,

I know you're feeling upset. I just didn't want you to have a stomach ache. Now, maybe it would be a good idea if you had a little sweetheart. You'd feel much better.

We're not sleepy. We want you to go away and leave us two alone. Well,

you know I can't do that, honey. Now, I really think you should lie down for a while.

Go away. Get out of my house.

Calm down, Mary.

You know what to do. Mary.

she takes The doll out.

The doll hisses. And then this bookshelf falls over on the lady. But then, to avoid suspicion, the doll puts the bookshelf and the items back up when she.

Which is why you're always supposed to anchor your bookshelves. That's what Ikea always said it was better.

So all the animals start to make jungle sounds. And then, like, a jump rope comes and strangles.

Oh, yeah. And it's making the snake noise and going. And it strangles the legs as opposed to. But you have. She also gets the scratches on her face. Is that from the. The stuffed tiger.

Tiger animal.

Yeah. Yeah. That was almost cool because the first thing that came to life was a giraffe. I'm like, I want to see this get giraffed to death. I want to see how this is going to work.

But then, once again, she's not dead. So this dog can eat your hair. People on the first time. Because the mother. Because the babysitter's not dead.

Babysitter's not.

Dolls really not that effective.

That would have been a little harder to explain. Mom falling down the stairs. I know. Stepmom. Stepmom. Falling down the stairs is one thing. Babysitter strangled in your bedroom is a whole other scenario that you might not want to get into.

With scratches on her face.

But. So the kid runs off with the doll. Micki and Ryan show up, and Micki goes to deal with the problem. I don't know what the. Ryan was doing. I guess he was dealing with the babysitter.

No, he was probably trying.

Yeah. He called 91 1. And then Micki runs out to go track down the girl and the doll.

Oh. Figure. Okay, I'm gonna see. I'm gonna deal with this. The sick person. Why don't you go deal with the devil thing, woman?

Yeah, she'll be fine. Yeah. He's on the phone.

And. What? Just. What? She's out. The kid's out on the swing set. And. And no matter where Micki stood, she's right next to something to strangle her with.

Yes. Right.

Are you not learning what this doll can do?

The swing set. And then I. All the swings move really fast, and it's scary. And then the tetherball, like, hits her in the face. And then they get on one of those things that are banned now where you run really fast in a circle. The carousel.

Yeah.

Oh, and then the girl makes the clown dolls burp. Fire.

Tetherball hits her in the face.

No, there's. Yeah, there's a clown on one of the playground structures.

On the kiddie swings

It shoots a fire ball at Micki.

Yeah. And Micki the whole time is like saying, give me the doll. Just give me the doll. I'm like, take it from her.

Don't take it from her. And then she runs around the carousel faster to have this, like, fight on the carousel instead of stopping the carousel. It's a little.

I think the carousel couldn't stop. I think that's. I think at that point, the carousel was enchanted. The doll was fine.

I'll give you that. I'll give you that.

And then it starts to get cloudy, and all of a sudden it's dark.

Oh, yeah. Vida makes it rain .

And not in the fun way.

Not in the fun way. No.

She.

She brings the. The thunderclouds.

Ryan finally jumps out, and he has an idea. He just takes the doll from the girl.

Yeah. Punch the kid in the face. Problem solved, man. Solved it. There you go.

And the episode's over. The little girl, she's crying. Micki's like, we'll take care of you. And, like, this little girl's like, my elbow hurts.

And Micki's like, you're fine. Come with me.

Your babysitter's dead. You. She's not. But you. But the girl. Don't tell Mom. Babysit has been strangled in the bedroom.

So like Maya was saying earlier, the baby, the girl is complicit. All this time, she's happy about it. So it never was. Was she possessed or was she just a little bit of a bitch?

Well, that's the thing with the. With the. Which we'll learn over time with the cursed objects is that it's not that sarily you find them. They're also finding you. Yeah. Like, whatever your weakness is is going to start calling you to that item.

And it will bring out your worst quality. And if it's not, it's going to bring out your worst qualities.

Interesting.

And that's one of the things that's fun about the show, is not fun, but surprisingly dark about, is that often they do get the. The item back, but there is always a cost, and usually the person who had it does not survive. Yeah. Because the curses will start to backfire. That's part of the curse. Like, you might get money or whatever, your riches and all your wishes for a while, but it is going to start killing you after a while. So that girl was gonna die if she kept playing with that doll.

Yeah.

So that's one happy ending. And now she. Then she got to go, and she got to be on that bus that went over the cliff with the kids on. What movie was that? Oh, the Sweet Hereafter

Oh, I never saw that.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's about a horrible bus accident that kills a bunch of school kids. And I think she's the only one who survives. It's a laugh a minute. It's the feel good movie of the year.

She's also in Dawn of the Dead

Yes, she was. Yes, she was. She was. And so one of the things I want to introduce, I mentioned to these guys, but, you know, we are literally slapping this together because, you know, the. The pot a thon's going on, getting that ready. And all of a sudden, summer's over and I'm like, I have to do a show. But here we go. Here we are. Here's the thing is that I was like, how can we make this show different? What can we do? I'm going to say, how about alternate casting slash alternate curses? And my alternate casting. And my alternate curse is one in the same in that the doll Vida is now played by Lil pound cake from RuPaul's Drag.

From what now?

Lil pound cake from RuPaul's Drag Race.

You're not my real dad, and you never will be.

You're not my daddy.

Exactly. Because she keeps saying, you're not my real mom. And little Pound Cakes, like, you're not my real daddy and you never will be

In RuPaul's Drag Race, they had to create a doll. So they created this white truck of each other.

Yeah.

Like, and Little Pound Cake is like a pageant girl whose hobbies are.

Wait, hold on, hold on. No, I have it written down. She likes riding dirty and she's a filthy dick pig.

Yeah, my name's Lil Pound Cake and I'm a straight up dick pig.

So it's Lil' Poundcake. It's Lil' Poundcake. So when those guys attack her, you know, come up to her in the hal in the alley, and they're like, hey, little girl, what you doing out here by yourself?

She's like, you're not my real dad and you never will be.

Although I like.

And then she deals with the stepmom. She's like, you're wearing a bedazzled.

Bedazzled denim.

Shirt

You're wearing a gigantic, gigantic bedazzled shirt and gold slippers and a jumpsuit. Or I would like to. Where are you going? Where. Who is this woman and where are you going? Reads it a filth. And then all of a sudden, like, Latrice Royale comes out and goes, oh, the shade. The shade of it all. Wide, brimmed hat. It all works.

I'm here for that. That sounds good.

No, and it's great because I was just doing. I was doing research on Little Pound Cake beforehand because it's literally a 20 second clip.

Sure.

On RuPaul's.

Yeah.

Now it's a whole thing. There's a whole album for Little Poundcake. There's videos for Little Pound Cake. There's. You can get the doll of Little Pound Cake.

The commercials for it actually are brilliant.

They are. They're very funny. They're very funny. They're all on YouTube. It's very funny. Little Pound Cake.

I had a question about something we didn't touch on. I wanted to know if other people saw it.

Sure.

The vault in the. In the antique shop has Hebrew on the door.

I noticed that. Something on the door.

Yeah. Jack said. Didn't Jack say something about that? Jack address something. He's like. There's carvings on the door and that. Some kind of spell to keep everything in. Oh, the vault is where the things are powerless.

Yeah. Because he said we had to keep them in there and we can't destroy them. So. So they have to live in the vault.

So I'm sure not all kinds of.

Like Hebrew letters to me, which is weird. A choice.

It's a choice. Why not? Hey, whatever works. Whatever works.

Put something in. And there's like a brick. And he presses a brick, but nothing happens.

So. Okay, My. My fashion loser. We all know who the. Oh, gosh, you guys are frozen. You're back.

No, I'm here.

You're back.

Okay, I'm here.

You're here. The fashion loser of the week.

Week.

The outfit that loses for the week is Micki in the outfit that she was working it during the fire sale. That voluminous prairie skirt and that tank.

No, I love the skirt. I love the skirt. The skirt and the. Oh, I loved it.

The two.

We also talked about the gratuitously hot nurses at the hospital. They look like 22. They look very well rested. They all have gorgeous flat bangs. They are not nurses.

Yeah, the nurses in a certain kind of show.

Yes, yes.

They're candy stripers. The thing is. The thing. And it was upsetting me. It was upsetting me because see Micki walking around in this outfit and particularly this tank top because she's clearly not wearing a bra. And it looked like they kept telling her it's really hot in the shop. So she kept having to put her arms up above her head and put her boobs right in the camera. I'm like, oh, golly. I realize this is not an R rated movie and you think you need boobs. But this was a really sleazy way to do it because this character would not wear that.

No, she would.

Based on future episodes. She would never wear that. And she would never do that.

Based on this episode and how neglected she is by her fiance, Lloyd, the lawyer. Maybe. Maybe she is looking for some attention, she just doesn't know where to get it.

Yeah, but I felt bad for the actress because she was clearly not wearing a bra.

I mean, maybe that's how she's comfortable. You don't know her.

Yeah, that's true. That's very true.

She did see backup for AC dc, so who knows? Not that that's a judgment.

Well, Ryan's close. Well, Ryan in that shorts with the sport jacket and the tie.

Egregious.

Egregious again. I know assholes that would have worn that.

Yeah.

That doesn't make it a less egregious outfit.

No, no, but it is a basic. Since that character is such a dork, it didn't bother me. But the fact that this was so gratuitous and she wore that for almost the rest. She wore that fucking thing for the rest of the episode. That goddamn tank top.

Tank top with the white arms. It's like, oh, if you move around in that too much. I don't know. Thanks. My.

Huh. She's flailing to get things out of her face and her boobs are just flopping everywhere. I'm like, this is a really sleazy way to appease your 12 year old viewers. But.

Yeah, but still, I like the mother with the. The denim shirt that's heavily bedazzled.

And that shirt was down to her fucking. Sorry, Sorry, Maya.

You go, oh, no, no, no, no. I was agreeing. I was agreeing because the jumpsuit had those awful short, tapered legs.

Legs. Short tapered legs. But the shirt itself came past her knees. It was like a robe, but it was a shirt. And it was denim, but it wasn't. I'm like, what are you wearing? Clearly. They also bought the evil Bedazzler furious goods before they left.

And also the husband had a flesh colored mustache, which I just thought was really weird. Creepy.

Flesh colored mustache.

Yeah.

Very Colonel Mustard of him. Like, yes.

You know what? I. I was. I wrote down Martin Mull.

Yes, you did the same thing.

Well, we're on the same page. We agree on everything. Oh, don't be afraid. I'm your friend.

I've heard that before. Do you remember?

I'm just looking at my notes to make sure I didn't miss Anything Good curse. I can't read my handwriting, so it doesn't matter. All right. So, yeah, so that pretty much is the inheritance and the thing that was always nuts about this show. Maya.

Yeah.

I mean, I don't know how it was by you, Trae. You never knew when it was going to be on. It was always on late. It was on, like, two in the morning, but it would change days. It would change times from week to week. And you guys.

Me, I would say I actually watched the premiere when it first aired because it was on syndication, and it was on, like, every Sunday night or something at 8. So I was at 8.

Wow. Lucky you.

Yeah. Yeah. And I remember watching this episode, and it was not what I expected. I knew it was going to be Friday the 13th, the movie, but I was hoping it would happen, have something to do with it, and.

Nope.

Well, that sounds like me staying up late to watch Outer Limits when I was a kid. Like, I wasn't sure it was going to be on at 2 or 11, and I'm just going to look for it.

But yet, surprisingly, this show was a huge hit. Like, I was looking at the numbers, it was consistently number one in the coveted 18 to 25 demographic, which is exactly what you want for this kind of show. And the fear was that they were going to lure people in with the title, because originally it was called the 13th hour.

Which makes more sense.

Which does make more sense. But then Frank Mancuso Jr. Who is one of the. Who was the producer and also the writer, he worked on almost all the Friday the 13th, and he was like, what if we stretch the concept of Friday the 13th and go back to use the title, but to get the tie in. But also, now we're going to deal with more about unlucky things and cursed things and bad luck. And how do we make that into.

That in the first episode?

Yeah, so. And fortunately, that combination worked. People bought it, and I think it's a fun show. And there was really nothing like it on TV at the time. I mean, granted, you had things coming like Freddy's Nightmares, but nothing really specific like this. Freddy's Nightmares was always a mixed bag of how the stories were gonna go. But this, you always knew it was gonna be. We have to get. This is the goal of every show is to get this item.

Yeah, I forgot the one thing I wanted to talk about, but it's. I felt like this pilot was a bunch of, like. And I mentioned this earlier, a bunch of tropes you've seen elsewhere kind of slapped Together, trying to make a show out of it. But the. The stepmom in the very first scene has the most like Waspy lady sitcom line that I have never been so disrespected in my life.

How much is the doll? I'd be glad to pay you.

She's not for sale.

Nothing's for sale in here. Now you must get out of here

Quick. Out, out.

Get rid of that.

I've never been so insulted In my life.

Yeah.

And I just wanted.

Oh, yeah. Well, you're not my daddy and you never will be. I Lil' Poundcake. Oh, just you wait, honey. Just you wait, honey. You're gonna be disrespected real bad. You're gonna be dis all the way down the stairs. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. I caught that.

Mind Also caught, like, Micki has a couple things where she was like. Like talking to her boyfriend at the end where she's like, oh, uncle loses. Affairs were in such an order. And I was like, is she a Southern belle all of a sudden?

She's a Southern belle or She's in a Dickens novel. Like, I've heard these phrases before. But you. No one says that.

You're right. You're not Robey. I found out I have to chase this down, but apparently she's royalty now.

Wait, what?

Really?

I have to cut this out and fact check this, but apparently she married somebody royal and she's like a lady or something like that.

That Lady Robey.

Lady Robey.

Oh, wow. Yeah, that's. That's got to be something.

Nice work if you can get it. But you can get it if you try.

Good for her.

Good for her. And I think that's gonna wrap this over the piling episode of Uncle Lewis.

Did a Bad Thing and none of us died.

None of us died. None of us died. Well, thank you. You guys were very considerable about my shop that you didn't touch anything because everything is extremely fragile and not to be played. And it's also just not in your price range.

I want to see this show. I know, you guys.

It's not in your price range. It's not in my price range.

Yeah.

Cursed vibrators.

Cursed adult toys.

Oh, the Ben Wa Balls

Oh, the rabbits. Cursed.

This butt plug once belonged to Jack the Ripper.

You could do a good for parody of this show.

You know what? It's. Now that we said it, it's probably already out there.

Yeah, we have to look for that now.

So thank you for joining me at the last minute, Maya and Trae. Thank you for helping me slap this thing together. Things will be fun going forward. Whatever. However it turns out, this is fun. Just getting something moving. Where can people find out more about you two? Trae, we'll start with you.

Nowhere.

Nowhere. Just in Texas. Non eating vegetables.

How can they find out about you? They can't. I'm a mystery.

Refusing to eat. But you know what? You know what? We can. Because your Google map is showing.

Exactly. But you can't see my face.

Huh? But we know where you live. Damn it. And, Maya, you've always got a ton of fun stuff going on. What's going on with you?

A bunch of things going on.

Where could people see you? In the movies and on the tv people.

It's easiest to find out what I'm up to right now by going to my website. Www.mayamurphy.com. actor. Because I'm an actor. So, you know, I was up to something.

Nice.

Good.

I think so.

Nice. Nice. Okay. Thank you. Just collect. Just collect your belongings. There's no reason. Make sure you have a receipt, even though there's no returns here. Patrick's House of Shitty Evil. I got nothing. Thank you guys for joining me.

Patrick's Very Curious Goods.

That's the porno version. Okay.

Very Curious. Very Curious Goods.

Thank you to Kasey Loman from Evil Goods for our logo. Check her out at Evil Goods design on Instagram.

And thank you to composer Sam Haynes for our theme song sinister (Darkwave Remix). Check out all his terrifying tunes at bandcamp.com all right.

Until the next 13th. Catch you later, everybody.

You're not my mom.

And you never will be.