1 00:00:00,840 --> 00:00:04,800 Want to hear Andy being coached on how to deal with women's menopause in the workplace? 2 00:00:05,250 --> 00:00:06,570 Then you're in the right place. 3 00:00:07,140 --> 00:00:14,220 Welcome to Bwb Extra where we get to know renowned career coach and best selling author, Corrin Mills a little better. 4 00:00:15,030 --> 00:00:18,800 We hear how Corrin went from being an actress to becoming a fully fledged career coach. 5 00:00:19,500 --> 00:00:23,430 Why she's so passionate about helping people find a better career life. 6 00:00:23,834 --> 00:00:33,465 How companies should approach advertising, job roles, and more importantly, what they should be doing to keep their employees interested, satisfied, and happy after they've actually hired them. 7 00:00:36,735 --> 00:00:42,025 So let's wind the clock right back and get a bit more into you personally. 8 00:00:42,495 --> 00:00:43,815 How did you end up doing? 9 00:00:44,160 --> 00:00:44,850 What you're doing. 10 00:00:45,180 --> 00:00:46,350 You wanted to be an actress? 11 00:00:46,410 --> 00:00:46,860 I did. 12 00:00:46,860 --> 00:00:49,920 So I was an actress up until the age of 26. 13 00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:50,670 Oh right. 14 00:00:50,670 --> 00:00:57,180 And I did some, you know, theater and I did some small TV parts and the Dew senders I did, unfortunately. 15 00:00:57,420 --> 00:01:00,690 But you did actually achieve what you were, you know, you were an actress. 16 00:01:00,690 --> 00:01:02,070 I did, to some extent. 17 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:05,910 I didn't turn out to be quite the duty dench that I hoped that was gonna be. 18 00:01:05,910 --> 00:01:08,520 So I thought, oh, actually I better go and get myself a proper job. 19 00:01:08,850 --> 00:01:09,240 So I. 20 00:01:09,290 --> 00:01:10,070 Got a job. 21 00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:11,660 Wanged my way into hr. 22 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:16,130 Really liked HR trained, moved into kind of senior HR roles. 23 00:01:16,130 --> 00:01:24,260 Did became a fellow of the C I P D, but then I got head hunted to run a for charity, an employment center, and thought this is really different. 24 00:01:24,740 --> 00:01:27,450 HR could be quite firefighting sometimes. 25 00:01:27,830 --> 00:01:28,430 Oh god, yeah. 26 00:01:28,970 --> 00:01:31,490 Wanted to do something a bit more positive. 27 00:01:31,490 --> 00:01:31,910 So this. 28 00:01:31,940 --> 00:01:32,420 Standard. 29 00:01:32,420 --> 00:01:32,929 Very positive. 30 00:01:32,929 --> 00:01:34,009 Anyway, lots of people crying. 31 00:01:34,015 --> 00:01:34,500 Lot of Kleenex. 32 00:01:34,850 --> 00:01:35,140 Yeah. 33 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:39,560 Lot of crying and a lot of, yeah, a lot of, you know, and I loved it. 34 00:01:39,590 --> 00:01:46,100 So this, this, this opportunity to work for a community, helping people with all kinds of challenges around their career. 35 00:01:46,670 --> 00:01:47,479 Loved it. 36 00:01:47,485 --> 00:01:48,420 Worked there for seven years. 37 00:01:49,575 --> 00:02:00,075 Had my second child thought, or maybe I'll work part-time, maybe I'll work in a different way and actually thought, well, maybe I should start my own business. 38 00:02:00,075 --> 00:02:01,905 Maybe this is the opportunity to do it. 39 00:02:01,905 --> 00:02:04,725 So actually, I worked part-time in my other job. 40 00:02:04,845 --> 00:02:07,725 I started this new business part-time. 41 00:02:08,350 --> 00:02:13,570 Built it up till it was time I had, you know, earned enough to to, to leave my other job. 42 00:02:13,959 --> 00:02:15,220 And that was personal career management. 43 00:02:15,220 --> 00:02:16,510 And that was 20 years ago. 44 00:02:16,510 --> 00:02:17,709 We've got a team of 10. 45 00:02:17,714 --> 00:02:23,799 We work globally, we work with fucking palace, we work with Grant Thornton, we work with Buckham Palace. 46 00:02:23,829 --> 00:02:24,040 Yeah. 47 00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:24,730 Career. 48 00:02:24,730 --> 00:02:25,010 Absolutely. 49 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:25,450 Okay. 50 00:02:25,450 --> 00:02:26,049 Career guidance. 51 00:02:26,149 --> 00:02:30,970 That's I to be fair, that's, that's one job that you don't need any qualifications for. 52 00:02:32,325 --> 00:02:33,435 Have you got a long-term goal? 53 00:02:33,705 --> 00:02:43,815 My long-term goal is I would like to help individuals and organizations realize that you don't need to be a wage slave. 54 00:02:43,815 --> 00:02:49,005 That actually there's more to life and more to career than just doing it to pay the bills. 55 00:02:49,005 --> 00:02:51,825 And I think even now, right, you know, needs must, right? 56 00:02:51,830 --> 00:02:54,915 Cost of living crisis and all of that, we've all gotta be able to pay our bills. 57 00:02:54,915 --> 00:02:55,005 Mm-hmm. 58 00:02:55,475 --> 00:03:00,745 But, Your career and your work life can be so much more interesting and rewarding than that. 59 00:03:01,015 --> 00:03:04,405 And I think sometimes people don't give themselves permission to think that. 60 00:03:04,435 --> 00:03:05,785 They think, oh, that's just the grind. 61 00:03:05,785 --> 00:03:06,565 That's how it is. 62 00:03:06,625 --> 00:03:08,364 And also for organizations, right? 63 00:03:08,364 --> 00:03:11,155 You can make it more interesting for individuals. 64 00:03:11,185 --> 00:03:11,995 This must be at the. 65 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:12,745 Top end though. 66 00:03:12,745 --> 00:03:15,415 I mean, this is, you know, the whole live your dream stuff. 67 00:03:15,415 --> 00:03:18,655 Well, you know, what if you, you gotta work in a warehouse. 68 00:03:18,655 --> 00:03:19,465 I mean, how does that work? 69 00:03:19,465 --> 00:03:20,875 They can be happy working in a warehouse. 70 00:03:20,905 --> 00:03:28,765 I, I've worked with people who literally, they, they watch stuff on conveyor belts coming through milk bottles on conveyor belts. 71 00:03:28,765 --> 00:03:30,325 How does that job mean more interesting? 72 00:03:30,965 --> 00:03:34,055 But those individuals had a real sense of pride in their job. 73 00:03:34,055 --> 00:03:34,655 They liked it. 74 00:03:34,655 --> 00:03:36,155 They saw that as quality control. 75 00:03:36,155 --> 00:03:40,144 They had to problem if something went wrong with the conveyor belt, they had to fix it. 76 00:03:40,144 --> 00:03:41,704 They had teamwork that was involved. 77 00:03:42,065 --> 00:03:45,095 Actually, they were really happy in that job. 78 00:03:45,095 --> 00:03:54,575 It doesn't mean to say that you are doing a, a relatively junior job that that still can't feel rewarding, but you know, their experience might be different in. 79 00:03:54,930 --> 00:03:57,030 That organization and another organization. 80 00:03:57,030 --> 00:04:03,630 So I'm saying that there is better things out there for you if you are really unhappy where you are. 81 00:04:04,380 --> 00:04:08,160 You should be able to, if you're unhappy in your job, do something about it. 82 00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:08,430 Exactly. 83 00:04:09,030 --> 00:04:11,490 But it's very like, um, there's the same problem with relationship. 84 00:04:11,495 --> 00:04:11,730 Actually. 85 00:04:11,730 --> 00:04:16,170 My, my sister gave me the best advice on this, which is that, you know, don't settle for average. 86 00:04:16,170 --> 00:04:21,149 Our thing is, is that when we look around, we go, wow, you know, this, this, and this's bad or bad it, and this is good at it. 87 00:04:21,180 --> 00:04:23,370 And maybe that's, you know, that's just the way it is. 88 00:04:23,370 --> 00:04:28,155 It's like, And he's certainly in, in relat in sort of, you know, choosing to give up independence. 89 00:04:28,155 --> 00:04:30,615 So becoming in a relation independence is amazing. 90 00:04:30,615 --> 00:04:35,655 So like you, you know, which was her point, but in a job you're kind of saying that y Yeah. 91 00:04:35,655 --> 00:04:39,945 You know, don't, don't just settle for it, just being all right then that if, I think that's true. 92 00:04:39,945 --> 00:04:41,716 I dunno if that, you can always hold that true. 93 00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:43,935 You might just not be able to get another job. 94 00:04:43,935 --> 00:04:45,105 You might just be stuck. 95 00:04:45,224 --> 00:04:46,695 You've always got options. 96 00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:48,615 Honestly, it's never too late. 97 00:04:48,825 --> 00:04:53,085 So I, so again, in my job, I'm meeting people all the time who are. 98 00:04:53,125 --> 00:04:54,385 Stuck in their career. 99 00:04:54,655 --> 00:05:00,355 They've got perhaps a boss who's a bit of a bully, who doesn't, you know, who's, um, not interested. 100 00:05:00,595 --> 00:05:05,215 They're having a, who doesn't value them, doesn't value, and, but their confidence goes really low. 101 00:05:05,215 --> 00:05:07,465 It goes, kind of think, well, that's all I'm worth. 102 00:05:07,735 --> 00:05:08,755 So they feel really stuck. 103 00:05:08,755 --> 00:05:10,615 It's like, no, you're worth much more than that. 104 00:05:10,645 --> 00:05:11,765 You've always got options. 105 00:05:12,065 --> 00:05:16,945 Now it might not be something you can immediately step into right the next day. 106 00:05:17,590 --> 00:05:19,780 But you can work on getting yourself out. 107 00:05:19,780 --> 00:05:20,800 You can have a plan. 108 00:05:20,860 --> 00:05:22,480 It is absolutely achieveable. 109 00:05:22,570 --> 00:05:24,670 I've literally, I know this is on the bl. 110 00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:28,180 I've helped thousands of people do that. 111 00:05:28,690 --> 00:05:36,191 It is perfectly possible, even in challenging circumstances, and there are, you know, it's a really good recruitment market at at the moment. 112 00:05:37,300 --> 00:05:43,210 But even challenging circumstances, you don't have to put up with a really miserable experience for it. 113 00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:47,860 How would, how would you define what you shouldn't put up with if you are feeling sick to your stomach? 114 00:05:47,890 --> 00:05:50,920 Oh, that's quite though about the thought of going in to work. 115 00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:52,380 That's telling you something, right? 116 00:05:52,380 --> 00:05:52,840 Gosh, gosh. 117 00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:54,020 You need to do something about it. 118 00:05:54,670 --> 00:05:59,420 When I left my last job, cause I've only been at ING Club for two years, I left. 119 00:06:00,455 --> 00:06:12,005 And then I got sort of two or three job offers and then, and I was gonna take, frankly, the kind of one that was kind of most prestigious, cuz I kind of in my head thought that's what you are supposed to do. 120 00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:14,135 You're just supposed to keep climbing and climbing. 121 00:06:14,140 --> 00:06:14,715 Climbing, yes Lord. 122 00:06:14,855 --> 00:06:17,526 And then I thought, why the fuck am I doing this? 123 00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:21,755 Why don't I just go and do the job with people I like the most? 124 00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:23,885 And that I think is gonna be most fun. 125 00:06:24,215 --> 00:06:24,365 Yeah. 126 00:06:24,365 --> 00:06:25,414 And now I'm a Marie Clark. 127 00:06:25,415 --> 00:06:36,875 What a mistakes, you know, there's so many ways that could end it, but they couldn't take me, so I ended up so, but you know, you at some point you've gotta think, actually, what am I gonna enjoy? 128 00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:39,930 It's got got to be a little bit of employment. 129 00:06:39,930 --> 00:06:44,580 There's the pandemic told us that it's like we never know what's around the corner. 130 00:06:44,580 --> 00:06:48,390 It is like, oh my gosh, you've gotta enjoy your life. 131 00:06:48,599 --> 00:06:50,460 Sometimes people are unhappy at home. 132 00:06:50,549 --> 00:06:56,460 I mean, that sometimes happens that they, they tick it out on their job and they blame their job cuz they're blind to themselves and they's true blind to their own. 133 00:06:56,730 --> 00:06:58,080 Pain or whatever they're going through. 134 00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:06,420 And that you, we know that, I always know that I can spot it now because you have someone who is good and then they're not happy, and then you fix whatever they're not happy about and then they're still not happy. 135 00:07:06,420 --> 00:07:11,310 So you do something else and then that goes on for a couple of years until they say, oh yeah, I just don't wanna do any of it. 136 00:07:11,310 --> 00:07:15,410 And it's a, but the truth is always, you know, they're in a bad relationship or you know something. 137 00:07:16,050 --> 00:07:16,860 Oh, sure. 138 00:07:17,045 --> 00:07:19,445 Oh, there's a, there's a lot of complexity. 139 00:07:19,475 --> 00:07:24,635 It's a work, it's a situation, but it's also the personal context as well, what's happening in people's lives. 140 00:07:24,635 --> 00:07:27,965 Of course, it's a combination of that, but that's the anchor underneath it. 141 00:07:27,965 --> 00:07:35,285 So it's like the advi, if you are un, if you are unhappy to go to work, it's like, try and question whether you're maybe just unhappy first, you know what I mean? 142 00:07:35,290 --> 00:07:35,965 Because, uh, you know, you. 143 00:07:36,390 --> 00:07:42,390 So that you don't wanna be doing, changing both at once, keep the job and then sort your personal life out and then find your dream job. 144 00:07:42,570 --> 00:07:46,110 Uh, but again, with coaching, look, that is what you're doing, you're saying, right? 145 00:07:46,169 --> 00:07:47,669 That's a presenting issue, right? 146 00:07:47,669 --> 00:07:48,570 You hate your job. 147 00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:50,460 Let's look at what's really going on. 148 00:07:50,460 --> 00:07:51,300 What's going on. 149 00:07:51,300 --> 00:07:51,360 Yeah. 150 00:07:51,539 --> 00:07:53,580 In the work, what's the situation, what's the context? 151 00:07:53,610 --> 00:07:54,310 What's going on at home? 152 00:07:55,055 --> 00:08:06,225 You are, you are looking at all of those factors cuz you're right cuz to make a decision, a big decision to leave somewhere or go or apply for a new job internally and whatever it is, you wanna make sure that that's on sound. 153 00:08:06,230 --> 00:08:07,455 Foundations not, yeah. 154 00:08:08,070 --> 00:08:09,060 Slippery ground. 155 00:08:09,150 --> 00:08:11,430 How do you deal with a menopausal woman, though? 156 00:08:11,490 --> 00:08:13,230 What's the, what's the top tips for dealing with the man? 157 00:08:13,230 --> 00:08:14,070 You'd be nice to her. 158 00:08:14,940 --> 00:08:16,920 What if she says what tos in here and everything? 159 00:08:16,925 --> 00:08:19,500 You supposed, you allowed to say, cause it's my sister. 160 00:08:19,505 --> 00:08:19,860 I do. 161 00:08:19,860 --> 00:08:23,520 But if she, my sister, jump off, can I say, oh, is that the menopause again? 162 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:24,420 That's probably a no-no. 163 00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:24,690 Is it? 164 00:08:24,690 --> 00:08:25,500 You've just gotta like, no. 165 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:28,230 But you know, because it's too hot, but it's not too hot. 166 00:08:28,230 --> 00:08:39,570 You're like, it's actually, you know, it, it's a bit, look, we've talked about menopause, but it's about a lot of things, whether it's menopause, whether it's about, um, wellbeing or mental health, or it's about personal issues. 167 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:50,730 Sometimes you're just giving people a space to talk it through and people don't realize, sometimes people don't realize that it might be the menopause or it might be a relationship. 168 00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:51,540 That's what you're meaning it. 169 00:08:52,010 --> 00:08:52,520 Oh, pardon me. 170 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:57,620 I was thinking, I dunno, having an I influence, I can't say to someone, look, I just want you to talk the menopause through with me. 171 00:08:57,750 --> 00:08:59,750 No, just take, just take me through what you're going through. 172 00:09:00,260 --> 00:09:10,030 Giving people, acknowledging that it's a thing that exists and giving people the opportunity to discuss it as though it's not a taboo and curse subject that you can't talk about. 173 00:09:10,885 --> 00:09:12,595 It's like nobody will talk about periods. 174 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:18,775 Well, no, that's, that's, see, the interesting thing about why I'm asking that is this is women's businesses as it was described to me. 175 00:09:18,775 --> 00:09:22,015 So I need, I need, you need to, um, what's the word? 176 00:09:22,105 --> 00:09:26,605 Um, enable men to be able to dis because we don't feel that, we feel that like. 177 00:09:26,790 --> 00:09:30,089 You know, you're saying you are insinuating that people don't talk about it. 178 00:09:30,089 --> 00:09:35,550 They sort of, but men, men have learned and you, you know, you believe this is the, um, everyone's fault. 179 00:09:35,550 --> 00:09:37,530 But, you know, we don't say women's female parts. 180 00:09:37,530 --> 00:09:37,980 They're bad. 181 00:09:37,980 --> 00:09:40,112 The worst swear words, we don't get involved in women. 182 00:09:40,117 --> 00:09:41,189 I'm really, men must be mad. 183 00:09:41,189 --> 00:09:41,520 You know what? 184 00:09:41,730 --> 00:09:42,060 Yeah. 185 00:09:42,060 --> 00:09:47,219 But you know, it'd be good to change that because I dunno, I dunno, we're out my, out our debts trying to talk about the menopause. 186 00:09:47,370 --> 00:09:49,349 It's like a woman talking to us about, you know, libido. 187 00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:50,730 You know, not being able to get it up. 188 00:09:50,730 --> 00:09:52,675 I mean, that's an experience you guys will never go through. 189 00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:55,225 It's the worst experience like in the world, you know? 190 00:09:55,225 --> 00:09:56,725 It's like, it's awful, you know? 191 00:09:57,235 --> 00:09:58,045 Anyway, I dunno. 192 00:09:58,045 --> 00:10:02,605 I've never, no, I mean, it's terrible. 193 00:10:02,815 --> 00:10:04,045 What did my, what did my friends say? 194 00:10:04,045 --> 00:10:09,605 It's like trying to play, trying to play snooker with a, um, I'm, I'm fully eyes open, you know, opposite every man. 195 00:10:09,925 --> 00:10:15,165 At some point I felt there was this one girl that used to happen with, anyway, what's the, too much information that, that is too much information. 196 00:10:16,345 --> 00:10:18,835 What's the most misunderstood thing about what you do? 197 00:10:19,225 --> 00:10:23,305 That it's, you know, a bit of advice and a pet talk. 198 00:10:23,365 --> 00:10:23,755 Right. 199 00:10:23,815 --> 00:10:31,645 It's a lot more complex than that because, as we've just said, the word a patch, I think people kind of think, ah, nothing to that. 200 00:10:31,825 --> 00:10:35,905 So I think with a career coach, you, you've gotta kind of work out. 201 00:10:36,405 --> 00:10:39,675 Who this person is, help them understand themselves. 202 00:10:39,675 --> 00:10:41,595 And that's, we're all complex, aren't we? 203 00:10:42,015 --> 00:10:49,065 You've gotta understand, understand this professional skills, you've gotta understand the job market and where that might fit. 204 00:10:49,515 --> 00:10:53,295 So there's a lot of moving parts, I think with all of that. 205 00:10:53,295 --> 00:10:56,265 And you as a career coach, you've got to really have. 206 00:10:57,074 --> 00:11:05,295 Be on top of all of those things because you are, you're facilitating, but you're also giving advice and so you've, your advice has gotta be current as well. 207 00:11:05,444 --> 00:11:05,535 Yeah. 208 00:11:05,535 --> 00:11:10,964 You don't wanna meet someone who hasta 20 years time and puts their fist in your face, you told me to go into plumbing. 209 00:11:11,745 --> 00:11:13,395 It's the worst move in my life. 210 00:11:14,084 --> 00:11:16,545 When you are coaching them, you will actually give them advice. 211 00:11:16,545 --> 00:11:20,025 You're not a kind of, I'd let you arrive at the answer. 212 00:11:20,025 --> 00:11:20,775 Yeah, yeah. 213 00:11:21,165 --> 00:11:21,464 No. 214 00:11:21,525 --> 00:11:23,055 So career coaching is different. 215 00:11:23,555 --> 00:11:29,015 And we will give advice cuz it's like, you know, if I said to you, how did you think you should do your cv right? 216 00:11:29,015 --> 00:11:31,505 You're gonna look to me to say, right, let's do it. 217 00:11:31,505 --> 00:11:34,175 Let, let's look at your profile, let's, right. 218 00:11:34,175 --> 00:11:35,315 We need to focus on things. 219 00:11:35,315 --> 00:11:37,565 Let's help craft it and we work on it together. 220 00:11:37,565 --> 00:11:37,665 I see. 221 00:11:37,685 --> 00:11:39,035 I mean, you know how to do the cv. 222 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:42,575 Do you know how companies should advertise jobs Any, any particular way? 223 00:11:42,995 --> 00:11:48,725 Think there is something about they need to really focus on the skills that are really required. 224 00:11:48,725 --> 00:11:52,445 I think sometimes they, they're too demanding in what they're looking for. 225 00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:58,155 And actually I think that, you know, going back to what we said earlier, it just is simpler. 226 00:11:58,970 --> 00:12:07,400 I think because again, it gets really wordy, really verbose, a lot of the kind of recruitment advertising, what are you actually looking for? 227 00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:07,910 Yeah. 228 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:16,120 And authentic, because some of the marketing, right, you, you know, companies spend, you know, scores of thousands, hundreds, and employer branding, don't they? 229 00:12:16,140 --> 00:12:16,941 And they all this. 230 00:12:17,475 --> 00:12:18,015 Oh yes. 231 00:12:18,015 --> 00:12:23,204 All this kind of, you know, shiny marketing come and work for us, but actually how authentic is it? 232 00:12:23,235 --> 00:12:23,505 Mm-hmm. 233 00:12:23,625 --> 00:12:36,145 And I think the other thing about that is, you know, they spend all this money trying to attract the talent, and then once talent is there, they don't look after them in terms of, and that's why the career development stuff is so important. 234 00:12:36,285 --> 00:12:39,915 You know, at an interview they can be asked, you know, what's your five year career plan? 235 00:12:39,915 --> 00:12:41,324 Where do you want to be in five years? 236 00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:41,925 Right. 237 00:12:42,105 --> 00:12:42,944 Once it been hard. 238 00:12:42,985 --> 00:12:44,545 They never ask them again. 239 00:12:44,575 --> 00:12:46,825 They never ask about their aspirations. 240 00:12:47,125 --> 00:12:57,385 If you really want to get the best outta people, you want to develop the potential, particularly in such a tight recruitment market as it's now, it's hard to get hold a good candidates, isn't it? 241 00:12:57,805 --> 00:12:59,665 You've got to nurture your people. 242 00:12:59,665 --> 00:13:00,595 You've gotta grow them. 243 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:01,225 You've gotta help them develop. 244 00:13:02,535 --> 00:13:13,005 And now a quick word from our sponsor, business Without Bullshit is brought to you by Ari Clark, straight Talking Financial and legal advice since 1935. 245 00:13:13,425 --> 00:13:15,885 You can find us@ariclark.com. 246 00:13:17,385 --> 00:13:19,545 What are you most excited about for your business? 247 00:13:19,725 --> 00:13:23,745 It feels like we are probably coming outta the pandemic. 248 00:13:24,165 --> 00:13:30,194 You know, again, I know there's been a real theme about kind of remote and, but I'm going into way more offices now. 249 00:13:30,199 --> 00:13:32,235 Many more face to face people will let you in. 250 00:13:32,675 --> 00:13:33,125 Yeah. 251 00:13:33,125 --> 00:13:39,245 And so there's just so much more of a creativity and an energy when you get people together in a room. 252 00:13:39,245 --> 00:13:42,844 So I'm excited that that's opening up again. 253 00:13:43,324 --> 00:13:46,594 And I'm also excited because it's a really nice job that I do. 254 00:13:46,895 --> 00:13:50,824 Um, I help people be successful in their careers. 255 00:13:51,064 --> 00:13:53,314 There's some really nice stories around that. 256 00:13:53,314 --> 00:13:56,525 So it, it's a very rewarding thing to be, no, it's a nice job. 257 00:13:56,584 --> 00:13:57,334 It's a nice job. 258 00:13:57,334 --> 00:13:58,415 Job to get a kick outta that. 259 00:13:59,564 --> 00:14:00,795 Oh, the opposite point. 260 00:14:00,795 --> 00:14:03,405 If you would, if you cocked up though, must been your biggest fuck up. 261 00:14:03,464 --> 00:14:17,235 I tell you an embarrassing thing, but, um, it happened to me, which was, um, I was de delivering a career workshop at Booking and Palace famous, and they had the footman come in and they, oh, I want a footman. 262 00:14:17,295 --> 00:14:17,505 I know. 263 00:14:17,535 --> 00:14:18,795 It's like, need a one. 264 00:14:18,795 --> 00:14:21,255 Whenever I deliver a workshop, I would love to have Putman there. 265 00:14:21,435 --> 00:14:23,954 Well, and they've said, you know, madam, would you like some tea? 266 00:14:23,954 --> 00:14:25,454 And, uh, you know, should I pour it for you? 267 00:14:25,515 --> 00:14:26,835 Like, Don't know why. 268 00:14:26,985 --> 00:14:29,205 I dunno why I said no, that's perfectly all right. 269 00:14:29,625 --> 00:14:30,525 I will do it myself. 270 00:14:30,530 --> 00:14:31,605 I dunno what kicked in. 271 00:14:31,605 --> 00:14:35,355 I dunno why I didn't let the full, because you didn't, you didn't, that you didn't want, you didn't want him made to feel posh. 272 00:14:35,355 --> 00:14:42,165 You know, you didn't want to sort of, you know, ladi da, you, you, you're the lady of the people, you know, may maybe there were, there was all that kicking off. 273 00:14:42,165 --> 00:14:48,345 Anyway, so I picked up the tea part, went poor, went all down my dress, oh my god, right at the start. 274 00:14:48,495 --> 00:14:51,475 So I had, I was literally soaked with teeth. 275 00:14:51,735 --> 00:14:54,915 I thought you were gonna tell me the foot got half and walked off. 276 00:14:56,165 --> 00:14:58,595 What's the worst advice you've ever been given? 277 00:14:58,965 --> 00:15:00,555 Don't make a fuss. 278 00:15:00,595 --> 00:15:03,345 Don't make a fu fuss my love it experience. 279 00:15:04,185 --> 00:15:09,915 It's always worth making a fuss because a polite fuss, polite fuss, a fussy fuss. 280 00:15:10,245 --> 00:15:15,045 But I think we've probably all had experiences when people have said, oh, you know, they, they, they didn't mean it. 281 00:15:15,045 --> 00:15:16,695 Or it's probably best to lie low. 282 00:15:16,965 --> 00:15:17,025 Yeah. 283 00:15:17,025 --> 00:15:18,675 Or not to just let it go. 284 00:15:18,945 --> 00:15:24,255 But actually, you know, when there's something Well, if you raise it and, and if you are. 285 00:15:25,130 --> 00:15:34,370 You know, if that wasn't intended in the way or then they've gotten the opportunity to say, no wrong handed the stick, it was this, that and the other. 286 00:15:34,430 --> 00:15:42,290 You know, if you've, I, if there's something that's concerned you, but equally it gives a shot across the bells for them not to do it again. 287 00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:42,850 Yeah. 288 00:15:43,130 --> 00:15:45,710 So I think it's a boundary setting thing, and I. 289 00:15:45,795 --> 00:15:48,954 Think that too often people, how'd you make a it too fu long fuss though. 290 00:15:49,005 --> 00:15:51,525 I mean, you don't actually want to create a fuss. 291 00:15:51,974 --> 00:15:53,474 A fuss is a bad thing to create. 292 00:15:53,479 --> 00:15:56,354 You won't you You are saying don't, don't suffer in silence. 293 00:15:56,954 --> 00:15:57,255 Yeah. 294 00:15:57,255 --> 00:15:57,915 Say something. 295 00:15:57,915 --> 00:15:59,925 But how, how do you do that without fuss? 296 00:15:59,925 --> 00:16:03,795 So I think fu you say something like, can I just ask you about something? 297 00:16:04,245 --> 00:16:09,824 I just noticed that you said this, that and the other, and I just wanted to check. 298 00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:14,490 That out on a one-to-one top tip, you enormous race and no one else is what's going on. 299 00:16:14,550 --> 00:16:16,949 No one else in the room, I assume get them on their own. 300 00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:23,175 Well, I think it depends if sometimes it's in a group session, you might wanna say, Can I just check? 301 00:16:23,325 --> 00:16:32,715 You've said that, can I, you know, and you just give them a, you just, you just repeat back a little bit and say, can I just clarify that? 302 00:16:32,745 --> 00:16:35,235 And then they've got an opportunity to backtrack to Correct. 303 00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:35,835 Yes. 304 00:16:36,015 --> 00:16:44,925 When I was much more junior, one of my colleagues got my partner before me and I was immensely upset and I went to the partners and said, what the hell? 305 00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:49,380 And they said he's asked pretty much every week since he qualified. 306 00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:51,240 When am I being a partner made partner? 307 00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:58,440 And I genuine, genuinely thought you just sat there and did a good job and one day a hand came on your shoulder and said, you know, well done now. 308 00:16:58,440 --> 00:16:59,580 Good and faithful servant. 309 00:16:59,730 --> 00:16:59,790 Yeah. 310 00:16:59,795 --> 00:17:00,600 You can now be a partner. 311 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:01,950 And that is not how it works. 312 00:17:01,980 --> 00:17:02,250 No. 313 00:17:02,310 --> 00:17:06,780 You have to ask if you're gonna get, what's the best piece of advice you've ever given. 314 00:17:07,535 --> 00:17:10,415 Name, whatever you think is going on. 315 00:17:10,415 --> 00:17:18,275 So if there's something, you are got a kind of conversation going on and you're really not quite sure about what is happening here. 316 00:17:19,169 --> 00:17:20,189 Then just name it. 317 00:17:20,189 --> 00:17:22,530 Just call it, it's just language. 318 00:17:22,530 --> 00:17:28,349 But again, it just gives you the opportunity for people to, if to, if you've got the wrong end of the stick, they can clarify it. 319 00:17:28,590 --> 00:17:31,379 But if you are spot on, right, you'll know. 320 00:17:31,919 --> 00:17:32,159 Yeah. 321 00:17:32,159 --> 00:17:33,810 And they'll know that, you know. 322 00:17:34,135 --> 00:17:36,865 And you could have a more authentic conversation about it. 323 00:17:36,895 --> 00:17:40,945 I think this is quite good advice, but I think it might be really annoying if lots of people follow it. 324 00:17:41,129 --> 00:17:41,335 You know? 325 00:17:42,315 --> 00:17:42,775 You know what I mean? 326 00:17:42,875 --> 00:17:46,975 Is this cause you just wanna have loads of ambiguous on face, it sounds like a comedy sketch. 327 00:17:46,975 --> 00:17:49,195 Doesn't everyone going, are you backtracking on me? 328 00:17:49,254 --> 00:17:52,045 Oh, is this getting, oh, oh, is this getting confrontational? 329 00:17:52,050 --> 00:17:55,105 Oh, are you saying that we're in a room together talking to each other? 330 00:17:55,105 --> 00:17:58,075 You know, it could get bad, but I think you're right to, to call it out. 331 00:17:58,285 --> 00:17:59,995 Generally you're about calling things out. 332 00:18:00,235 --> 00:18:02,125 Yeah, that's, but again, that's my job. 333 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:06,840 What advice would you give your younger self play to your strengths? 334 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,520 You are not gonna be good at everything, right? 335 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:09,810 Nobody is right. 336 00:18:09,810 --> 00:18:16,950 Some things you rubbish at, but actually, if you can find the things that you're good at and and exploit those, yeah, you'll probably do okay. 337 00:18:16,950 --> 00:18:18,301 And that's good advice for most people. 338 00:18:18,540 --> 00:18:19,891 These are very good answers to the end there. 339 00:18:20,070 --> 00:18:20,791 Actually, these have been good. 340 00:18:20,796 --> 00:18:28,530 Uh, she is a correct and that's a correct and I so suddenly joke to myself, I said, oh, he's a really good s I was like, oh, that's such a, um, I'm, I'm pleased to see it. 341 00:18:29,615 --> 00:18:31,985 Any recommendations for us of what to read? 342 00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:33,065 Listen, watch. 343 00:18:33,215 --> 00:18:34,775 Are you watching succession? 344 00:18:34,805 --> 00:18:37,895 I've just managed to now get it on one of my TVs. 345 00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:38,735 My wife did. 346 00:18:38,735 --> 00:18:41,825 I, I've started series one, episode three or something. 347 00:18:41,825 --> 00:18:42,125 Yeah. 348 00:18:42,155 --> 00:18:42,785 Quite like it. 349 00:18:42,845 --> 00:18:45,995 I mean, it's about a family business, so it's a bit close to home for me. 350 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:52,325 So what I like about succession is, is just the right, it's kind of stuffing nonsense, right? 351 00:18:52,355 --> 00:18:53,975 But it's billionaires, you know. 352 00:18:54,630 --> 00:19:06,450 And the playground games, the, the kind of lack of business rationale actually a lot of times for to, to sit, you know, the way billions have been spent or the purchase of companies, et cetera, is really 353 00:19:06,630 --> 00:19:21,300 echoes sometimes a lot of the playground games you see in organizations because people do bring some really, you know, wild behavior sometimes into business that is not about what's best for the business. 354 00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:23,465 But it's kind of more personally driven. 355 00:19:23,465 --> 00:19:27,185 So I like the way that succession plays around with that and shows you that. 356 00:19:27,395 --> 00:19:28,325 It's that amazing thing. 357 00:19:28,325 --> 00:19:35,405 It particularly happens, I think with m and a transactions when somebody's, you know, you're selling a company or whatever and there's a lot of money on the table. 358 00:19:35,825 --> 00:19:47,915 There's that whole kind of macho thing, and it gets into who can stay up longest, you know, like they have to carry on and do the deal and stay up till 4:00 AM and sign the documents when actually if everybody went home. 359 00:19:48,310 --> 00:19:54,879 Got a good night's sleep and came back the next day, they'd be far more rational, far more reasonable and probably get a better deal. 360 00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:57,070 But it's like kind of childishly. 361 00:19:57,460 --> 00:20:07,070 It's, and I just really, I always find it, cause again, I hear it all the time about, you know, politics in fighting within organizations over mm-hmm. 362 00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:09,129 Quite trivial, trivial stuff. 363 00:20:09,490 --> 00:20:10,629 And the status is play. 364 00:20:10,629 --> 00:20:12,520 All of those things are going on in organizations. 365 00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:14,970 It's like, Why, what's the point of it? 366 00:20:14,970 --> 00:20:17,220 And a lot of the time there's no point. 367 00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:24,960 It doesn't serve the interest of the business, it doesn't serve the interest of the people on there, but it's this weird behavioral kind of pressure. 368 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:25,020 Yeah. 369 00:20:25,020 --> 00:20:28,230 Shake it quite extreme though, about how you manipulate people, don't they? 370 00:20:28,230 --> 00:20:35,430 I mean, I, I've only just from the first two episodes, it's, uh, maybe it is like that in some aspects of American most corporate life. 371 00:20:35,430 --> 00:20:38,100 I mean, they're pretty vicious when it really gets down to the crunch. 372 00:20:38,100 --> 00:20:41,670 But I think it's, it's, it is surprising how much. 373 00:20:41,955 --> 00:20:45,195 Things go on behind people, things go on behind the corners. 374 00:20:45,195 --> 00:20:46,665 Cuz kind of, that's how humans work. 375 00:20:46,665 --> 00:20:49,784 That's kind of how deals are done, you know, and kind of how people deal. 376 00:20:49,965 --> 00:20:54,975 Just as we are talking about one-to-one conversations and stuff, it's not all open and transparent, you know? 377 00:20:55,215 --> 00:21:08,355 It is important that you go talk privately to someone about to unblock it or you know, to, to, you know, so, so I'm kind of interested because, you know, again, people will tell me stuff as a coach about what's going on in their organization. 378 00:21:08,355 --> 00:21:13,419 Look as a lawyer, They will tell you, you know, you'll, you'll hear about that as well. 379 00:21:14,139 --> 00:21:23,350 And it's astonishing sometimes the way, the kind of ruthlessness, but also the cruelty and kind of trivial nature of sometimes of some of the behavior that goes on. 380 00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:30,159 When I was at university many, many years ago at the university I was at, there was an archeology department and a classics department separate. 381 00:21:30,159 --> 00:21:34,570 Now in most universities, the archeology department and classics department were a joint thing. 382 00:21:35,020 --> 00:21:38,379 The reason they were separate is because one of the lecturers. 383 00:21:38,620 --> 00:21:49,959 Had accused another lecturer of sleeping with somebody else in the team who he wasn't sleeping with, he'd got incensed and they'd split the entire departments because they couldn't speak to each other. 384 00:21:50,139 --> 00:21:51,550 And it's like insane. 385 00:21:51,580 --> 00:21:55,540 Like there's no commercial or business rationale for doing it. 386 00:21:55,540 --> 00:21:57,610 It was just cuz he said I'd slept with him and I haven't. 387 00:21:57,969 --> 00:21:59,919 Politics, bad gossip, good. 388 00:21:59,979 --> 00:22:01,479 That's who I am on the subject. 389 00:22:01,479 --> 00:22:02,290 Love a bit of gossip. 390 00:22:04,655 --> 00:22:12,125 So that was this week's episode of Bwb Extra, and we'll be back tomorrow with our final for the week, the Business versus Bullshit quiz. 391 00:22:12,245 --> 00:22:13,145 Stay tuned.