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Welcome to the Own youn Choices on youn Life podcast.

I know you are here wanting to change and rewrite your story.

You are desiring to step into the impact that you know you were here to create.

I am here to guide you with.

The proven tools and strategies used by.

Myself and our speakers to support you in taking radical responsibility in your life and learning how to own your choices to change your story.

My name is Marsha Van Winesburg.

I am a storytelling business coach, master NLP trainer, speaker, podcaster, and seven times published author.

My clients have found freedom and purpose from overcoming their shame stories and learning how to share them with the world.

I am so grateful you are here.

Let's get started.

Foreign, Welcome back to the show.

I am thrilled to have you here.

And I'm sharing something that I heard and I always reference where I heard it from, but it was a podcast episode on the game with Alex Horozi and it was Tony Robbins was the guest.

But if you listen to the podcast episode or you watch it, you will see that it almost as is if it's a NLP coaching session where Tony takes Alex through and it's really, really powerful.

So much so I actually have shared it with all of my outspoken students, my current round and master practitioner because there are techniques that he's doing in live time there that are really powerful to witness and they're done in typical Tony Robbins style, right?

Like he's got that edge to him.

So I just love Tony, he's very direct.

Now one of the things that landed that I know I wanted to share is this piece on, you know, are you being pushed by pain or do you have a vision that pulls you?

So we have pull motivation and push motivation.

Two totally different things.

I spent my life in push.

I know it so, so, so well.

And vision is what pulls you, right?

When it comes to how do you get to a thousand podcast episode?

Because you have vision that pulls you not you can, you can only push so far, right?

Vision pulls you.

So what actually motivates you to change?

Is it the vision that you want or is it the pain of what you don't want?

Which one?

Is it the vision of what you want, where you're going that's pulling you towards it?

Or is it the pain of what you don't want?

Cuz we're only ever moving towards what we want or away from what we want to avoid, right?

We avoid pain at all costs or we move towards pleasure.

It's like just human nature.

It's literally what it is.

You're either being pushed or pulled.

You get to decide which one.

So this podcast episode, I listened to it a couple times.

This piece really landed for me because it's a question I always come back to.

You know, we look at in nlp, what direction are you moving into?

What?

What's this motivation direction that you have?

Are you moving, as I said, towards what you want or away from what you don't want?

Because when something hurts or there's fear of something coming up, we push, right?

We tend to put our head down and we push away.

So push motivation.

Something hurts, I need to avoid it.

You're tired of your job, your health scares you, your relationships aren't working, there's financial pressure.

You have to work more, you have to do more.

That's painful, that pushes you and it can get you started.

It can.

It just can't sustain you on that.

You can't sustain long term on that.

And chances are good if that lands for you, you've tried and it didn't work.

You know that.

So when it comes to it, you know, we are always motivated, asking yourself, what's the pain or pleasure?

Pain is urgency, fire, gotta do it now.

Like, avoid, push away.

The beyond opposite of nervous system regulation.

It is not it.

But when we are moving towards our vision or pleasure of what we want, that's a pull motivation, right?

So most people, here's the challenge is that most people aren't motivated to do what is required until the pain becomes so big that it's like, damn, I gotta deal with this.

Think of if you've ever been in a situation where you have, you know, taxes you have, you're behind in things, you have an audit happening, you're like not wanting to deal with things and you keep putting it off.

And all of a sudden the emails, the phone calls come.

Yes, I'm speaking from experience, I've been here.

They start to pile up and it's like, damn, I can't avoid the same way I gotta do it.

And then when you do it, it's like, that wasn't even that hard or that big.

Why did I make it so challenging?

That's push motivation.

It's like a fire, but then you can't sustain it.

And sometimes you need that push to start, but you can't live on that.

That's push motivation.

Pull motivation is where your vision pulls you forward.

It's like it draws you forward.

This business that you want to build, the impact you want to create, the people you want to work with.

The person you're becoming in the process, the freedom that you want in your life.

That is pull motivation.

And it comes from like vision and pull and purpose and identity, who you are becoming and when you tie that energy to your work.

This is why vision work, identity work and subconscious reprogramming are so freaking powerful.

Because when the vision becomes clear enough, it starts pulling you forward.

Right.

When that vision is so clear, it pulls you forward.

No matter what is happening.

Right.

There are.

Sometimes it's like, okay, I'm behind on my podcast, I gotta get recording.

And I could wait until there's a push of like, ooh, this is too much.

But I found a system that works for me.

And it's nothing for me to sit down and record four solos, but I have notes ongoing on a regular basis that I can, you know, get into the energy of sharing.

If my energy's off, that's a push motivation.

And I actually don't record, then I will rather not release an episode than push one out.

That doesn't feel good.

That's where I'm at now.

That is not at all how I would have done things in the past.

So it's so interesting because when you're in this space and you're feeling this like, push pressure and I've gotta go, it's uncomfortable.

You might get started, you might, but you're maybe you're not committed to where you're going because the pull motivation is not strong enough now.

So asking yourself this question, and I'm actually doing this right now.

It's a Friday afternoon, we're getting another snowstorm here, and I'm in a space of like, my desk is full, I have things I have to get done.

It's like, wait, what is pushing me right now?

What is pulling me right now?

I feel pulled forward by recording a few podcast episodes because that lights me up and that brings my energy up.

And then I will turn and do some of the things that I necessarily maybe don't want to do.

But I know that when I sit down and do them, they're not nearly as big a deal as what my brain is making them to be.

They're not.

So push can start your journey, but you can't sustain non push, pull, energy, pull motivation.

That is what sustains it.

Push can be a catalyst, a fire, a kick in the butt to get going.

But pull is long term momentum.

And that like, that is how another reason how you get to a thousand episodes.

There is such a pull drive motivation.

For me, when I share some of the conversations that I get to have with you.

And hopefully it gives you permission to do more in your life, to follow that pull.

And you see what people have overcome.

Oh, my God.

It just.

It just lights me up in a way that I can't put words to, and that keeps me going.

So when you're pulled by that vision of who you are becoming, man, you meet the right people, the.

The.

The best connections happen.

You build relationships.

And that's what it was like for my in person podcast.

Because if I really looked at, like, the tickets that people bought, there are people that I've never met before that are coming at that, which is wild to me.

I love that.

And there are people that are like longtime friends from 30 years who are coming.

And I know that these connections wouldn't have happened or they wouldn't have deepened if I didn't find a pull motivation to anchor into.

Both can work together.

Both.

When you can align the force of the push and the pull, you can sustain it.

But if you leave yourself so long in that pain and push motivation, you're going to get to a season where there's so much discomfort that you have to move, but you haven't allowed yourself to grow into the version of you who, who can hold it yet.

So it requires more work and it's doable.

Don't get me wrong, it's very doable.

But it is a messy journey and it requires this, like, consistent internal, what am I doing?

Why am I doing this?

Because you want your why to be bigger.

The why matters.

When you're moving towards what you want, that pulls you forward.

That is something that lights you up, that sees that vision, that gets bigger, and it allows you to keep moving forward.

That's a pull motivation.

The why.

The why you're doing what you're doing is a pull motivation.

It could be beautiful.

When we look back at the why and we try and find those answers, like when she stopped asking why, that is not sustainable.

And I want you to.

I don't want you just like, stop, start, push, burn all those things.

I want you to go and create sustainability because it's all possible for you.

It is.

I'd love to know how this message land.

I'd love to know if you've watched that episode.

It is literally one of my favorites.

Alex is open and ready to be a student, which is so cool because Tony Robbins is, like, honestly coaching him through it.

So anyways, I just knew I wanted to share that message with you.

I hope that it lands and I hope you have an incredible day.

Thank you so much for tuning in.

To another episode of Own youn Choices.

Own youn Life.

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Until next time, remember, when you own your choices, you truly own your life.