Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

experience. I'm your host Aurora, licensed life coach and

companion on this beautiful journey called life. I hope you

feel good. I hope you feel supported and safe, full of

energy inspired, motivated. And if you do not feel 100% yourself

right now, I hope that my podcast can bring you value can

bring you back to yourself, remind you of who you are and

what you're made of. You are precious, you are unique, you

are needed. In this world, we need you to step out there and

to be your most authentic self. Today I want to talk about

International Men's Day and men's mental health. Maybe some

of you know that November 19, is International Men's Day. I

looked it up a couple years ago, because I noticed realize that

International Women's Day, I think it's much aid is being

celebrated more and more. And I was wondering what about

International Men's Day and who celebrates International Men's

Day. I felt pretty alone this year, I must say, with my posts.

I got a lot of great feedback. But I didn't see anybody else

posting anything about a men's Appreciation Day. And yeah, long

story short, I feel this is where our healing as a society

for humanity has to start. If we want to become more resilient in

the future. If we want to enjoy solid, nurturing relationships

with each other, we have to learn how to celebrate one

another. We have to celebrate ourselves. And we have to get to

a place of healing where we celebrate others. And if we

still have a hard time celebrating men, there is a deep

issue because ah, I don't know how and where to begin. But if

we are still resentful if we are still hurting because of past

pain, disappointment, trauma? How can we move on as a whole

and build a future that is resilient to stress resilient to

environmental changes? I don't think it's possible. If we don't

do the basic work, or feeling and learning to understand each

other. What are we actually doing? Like why do we still get

married? Why do we still get engaged? Why do we put babies

and children through the stress of two people being together but

actually not really understanding each other and

resenting each other? Why do we think that this is a good path

to be on and we keep going even though we see lots of sickness,

lots of suicide, lots of depression. And this is where I

want to step in and start creating a space where we can

have conversations that reveal the trauma that put everything

on the table so that we cannot live in denial anymore. We live

with our spouse or partner without even really knowing

them. We see that they conform they adapt, they sacrifice. But

do we know what's going on deep within our spa? As a partner of

friends, if we are single, you don't have to be in a

relationship to to notice this. It is how you relate to the

people around you. And what you feel triggered by that I could

be very easily pointing out where you still need healing and

growing. Right, if people feel that International Men's Day is

not a good day to celebrate the men in our lives, what, what are

we trying to do here? Like, it is as if you were trying to not

see 50% of our population. I don't know if there's exactly

50% of men and women out there in our society making 100%. But

I think you know what I mean. And in the future, I want to

also refrain from talking about masculine toxicity and feminine

toxicity, let's just call it full on toxic behavior, and

shit, attitudes. But let's not attach it to a gender anymore.

Because there's so many men out there who also suffered from the

patriarchy and from, from toxic leadership. That if we talk

about toxic masculinity, I don't know I feel it's not timely

anymore. Same goes for toxic femininity. It has nothing to do

with being a female, when you manipulate people when you try

to hurt people. You know how to say how you say that in English

through the backdoor? No, you don't say that in English, but

in subtle ways, right? passive aggression. Controlling the

other and whatever else we come up with to hurt people in in

very subtle ways. We have to put everything on the table, and

look at it and sort through it and be more honest with each

other and tell each other. What's okay, what's not okay.

And we have to, in order to become aware of that, know

ourselves better. And this is another very big heavy thing

that I'm so persistent about the more you know, yourself, and

your body and your sensations within your body, the more you

can tell if something is right for you, or something is off. I

had a suggestion here recently where a friend of mine was,

weirdly inappropriately touched by a member of our community.

And instead of her saying something to his face, she just

like squirmed away and walked away. And I saw it from afar,

and I could see that she felt so uncomfortable. And I could see

that he was so frickin unaware of what he had just done. And

that's just a small instance, where it doesn't matter which

gender is, you know, being addressed here. But she decided

not to say anything and to just move away. And t just wondered,

oh, why is she moving away and then they started talking about

something else as a group.

And those are just these little things that I noticed that I

feel fac we have to start talking about this without

blaming but with the intention to raise awareness. If that

woman was fully aware that this man was making her feel

uncomfortable making her A cringe inside. And she was just

to say, hey, you make me feel uncomfortable. This guy could be

made aware of it, and would not do this anymore in the future to

her or to other people. Right. It's not about shaming and

blaming an individual because we want to think the best of a

person and think that they just don't have the awareness. But we

need to become aware, and honor how we feel first. And you can

just do that. If you know yourself, if you listen to

yourself. And in order to do this, you need to make space and

time you need to sit and silence at times and observe yourself,

observe your thoughts. Observe your body, and how you feel. You

need to tune into your body because your body is like an

antenna that absorbs stuff from the environment and processes

it. And then thoughts and feelings come up that then

influence how you behave, how you think. And if you use your

body wisely as a tool, and learn to express how you feel. I

promise you, you will have the honour to enjoy a more authentic

life tuned to your purpose, and to what you're meant to do here.

In life, a lot of people right now feel lost, especially after

COVID After being forced to sit down and to be isolated from

others from from distractions. Of course, we learn to distract

ourselves in different ways when we were locked down. But we were

forced to think about our next steps. Are we in alignment with

our job with our relationships? Are we on a good path. And a lot

of people realized, fuck, I'm not on a good path. I'm engaging

in this work for the wrong reasons. I'm not living up to my

potential. And I want to live up to my potential. But I don't

know how it just feels wrong where I'm at right now. And I

don't know how to make changes. But I know I need to make

changes. And where you can start if you're in that space right

now is to start connecting back to your body. And to sense when

something that you do feels off. And when something that you do

feels super awesome. And then follow that feeling. And notice

how your life can change. At the same time, I want to say if we

always follow the feel good path, the path of least

resistance, it is not necessarily going to get us

where we want to end up because we're little animals, creatures

of habits. And we're sometimes very lazy and sometimes very

indulgent, and just want to have the candy and the couch and the

Netflix. And that feels awfully good. But it's not going to get

you anywhere. Sometimes, you will have to step into

discomfort in order to live a life true to yourself. And this

is also where coaching can step in and help you see what is the

discomfort that is good for you that you're meant to embrace.

And what is the discomfort you're meant to avoid and clear

out of your life. But you seem to be clear with yourself to

know what you need and want in order to live a life. Very

authentic to your self. You need to start with you. And going

back to men's mental health and International Men's Day. We need

to embrace our feminine side and our masculine side. We We have

to make peace with the men in our life, with the caregivers,

with the people that we look up to the people we look up to

sorry. In order to move on, we have to let go of resentment, we

have to embrace healing and uncomfortable conversations. If

we want to move on in society and become stronger, as an

individual, but also, as a community, you have both inside

of you. And if you learn to embrace your masculine side and

your feminine side, you're very driven side, assertive side, but

also your loving, nurturing side, your protective side, when

you reconnect these both energies inside of you again,

then you will be able to make peace with the people around

you, you will be more forgiving, more loving. But until then we

have to look at ourselves. And we cannot point the fingers to

other people who are not ready yet to do the healing. But we

can notice in our own behavior and our thought patterns, where

we are at what triggers you, when I say, I want to see men

being praised, I want to see men being acknowledged, I want to

see men being put on a pedestal for a little bit, if it's just

one day, and to see all the good that they're doing in this

world. And the others are gonna fade away the other people that

are in leadership positions right now, and not good doing a

good job. We're just not getting to give them any more attention.

But we're going to put the attention on the men that are

hard driven, that are that did the work of healing. And that

are very good role models there for future generations. All

right, I hope this was not too messy. I feel I was all over the

place today. But this message comes from the heart, from a

deep desire to bring healing to this world to bring comfort and

purpose and love. I'm always grateful to receive feedback if

you resonate with what I say here or if it helps you, please

leave a review or rating a five star rating as always awesome.

And share this episode with people that you care about. All

right, and I'll leave you with that next