This is the greatest show on air.

We bring to you dads, Friends and Tequila.

Where dads hang out, friends gather, and the tequila flows.

Lean them ears in tight because we're diving into the heart of laughter, stories, and all the unforgettable moments that come with fatherhood and friendship.

Whether you're tuning in from the comfort of your couch or on the go, prepare for lively discussions, hilarious anecdotes, and a splash of heartfelt wisdom.

Shots up.

Get ready.

Cheers.

Yes, sir.

Hey, we back.

We back with another episode of dad, Friends and Tequila.

Y' all know how we start this thing?

We always start this thing off with a hit in the bank.

Let's go ahead and get it.

Let's get it.

Cut the music up.

One of the realest niggas.

It's like be chiseled Got a worldwide.

Ghetto pants I'm murder Take a flight to the motherland I forget God only.

Never fear nothing, man.

It's never one hustle I always got a backup plan it ain't no secret I could tell you about the gutter, man.

I'm a writer.

Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.

You are now listening to the voices of Junior, Dominique and Jeremy.

And this is Dad's Friends and Tequila.

Where dad's come to hang out.

Friends gather and a tequila flow.

And that gotta flow.

I'm a daddy.

Is you a daddy?

Hey, bro, I've been doing this thing for a long time, bro.

I'm committed.

I'm a full fledged daddy.

Full fledged.

Can't do nothing else.

Have no other option, man.

I'm trying to tell you.

Hey, look, the reason why we started this podcast is to share our experiences of fatherhood and becoming men with others, to share our taste and palace for the taste of tequila.

I like it.

I like it.

Listen.

And that's the reason.

But the purpose of the show.

Please give us the purpose, bro.

The purpose of the show is number one, it gives the men a space to.

To conversate, to talk.

We don't have a lot of spaces where we.

We feel comfortable in opening up.

It's also here.

We're also here to talk about how we need to keep each other accountable.

Yep.

It's hard for a man to listen to a woman tell a man how to be a man, but a man telling you what it is, it comes from a different place and it hits a different, different spot.

And last but not least, but the most important part is come on with it.

We're coming to talk about the difference between a dad and a father.

Break that down, please.

Because a dad is prison, okay?

The minute that baby drops.

Yeah, I'm.

I'm.

I'm present in everything that's going on.

Homework, school games, whatever.

Okay.

But the fathers are the ones who know how to shoot the club up.

Yeah.

But then they leave right after.

Yeah.

Like you said last time, Dominique, we love shooting up the club.

Yeah, I love shooting up the club.

We love shooting at the club.

But I'm gonna take care of the responsibility afterwards.

Yeah, for sure.

We gotta stick around.

We gotta stick around.

Yeah.

Hey, for y' all that's tuning in, this is dad, Friends, Tequila.

Hey, Dominique.

For the people that's tuning in now to stay first time looking in, you know, after we introduce everything of the.

You know, the show, the reason, the purpose.

But what comes out after that?

Well, the.

The title of it is Dad's Friends in Tequila.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So we just talked about being dad.

Yeah, we did.

If y' all didn't know, we're friends.

Yeah, we've been friends about 30 years.

Yeah.

For a long time.

And so it only leaves one.

Yeah.

That mean we got to take a.

What?

A shot.

Take a shot.

Let's get it.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

We got to take this shot.

That's what's up, bro.

Yeah.

Hey, bro, man.

How was your day, bro?

My day.

My day was hot, man.

Listen.

Extra hot.

So listen, today marked the last day of my little.

The end of my summer camp that I run.

Hey, shout out to the summer campers if you summer camp.

Hey, y' all already know.

So it ended the.

The summer camp today.

So it's bittersweet.

It's a great feeling.

Okay, Cuz I'm done dealing with everybody else kids.

Okay?

But it's a.

A bitter feeling because now it's back to the regular grind of life.

Okay?

So this is just one part of my business is dealing with summer camp.

The rest of the business, I'm dealing with more adults and more older individuals there.

Teenager, young adults level.

But this is the end of me dealing with little kids.

And, you know, little kids keep you young.

Oh, yeah, for sure.

They.

They.

They got all the new slang.

Yeah.

And they.

They active.

They.

They don't get tired until they get home.

Facts.

So you know that that's just how it is with.

With.

With.

With me.

So I ain't.

I ain't got no complaints.

Just.

Just gonna miss the everyday grind.

But forget about me.

What's.

What's going on with you, bro?

How was your day?

How was your week, man?

Look, I'm gonna start out with the, with the week, man.

Cause I only really got like one day off this week, you know what I'm saying?

So the day I got off.

I.

Kind of just chilled a little bit, you know.

Then today I had to get back to the grind.

Like you said at the beginning, shoot, I started my day at 10 o' clock this morning.

Well, I woke up around like 8:30, let the snooze hit like four or five times, you know what I'm saying?

So after that, went to work, clocked in around like 10.

Shoot, man, it was about somebody hot after Dominique.

And you know me for what I do.

Like I'm, I'm always in long sleeves, you know, with this, you know, heat or whatever.

But the truck stay cool, so I'm not tripping.

But it wasn't a bad day, bro.

It's just, man, dealing with traffic all day and other people that just really don't know how to drive.

Like, I get we have traffic, bro.

I get we, you know, people driving on the highways, I get that.

But just know where you're going before you even get there, you know what I'm saying?

Take a look at the GPS before you get there.

Because if you know for a fact you about to exit, bro, go ahead and just exit and go ahead and get off.

Don't be sitting here prolonging.

Yeah, you know what I'm saying?

That your, your time trying to get over.

Especially when I'm at work, because I'll be trying to get to it, Dominique.

And, and, and the funny thing is with this podcast, we have a lot to say.

We have a lot to break down.

But the thing is, it's a lot that goes into your day that has nothing to do with your kids at all, bro.

You talking about traffic.

I'm talking about real running a business.

You're talking about going to work.

I'm talking about my everyday life that's outside of my children, right?

And that's what's funny about this opening discussion is what we getting ready to get into.

It's so much more to my life than just being a daddy 247 now, for real.

Because I know for a fact, like, bro, I, I gotta prep lunch and stuff.

Like, it's a lot of stuff that goes involved before I even clock in the day before, you know what I'm saying?

Make sure I get enough rest, you know what I'm saying?

Then just, you know, just trying to be, you know, 100, you know, doing my job that I'm supposed to be doing every day, but we do, we do take a lot, bro.

You know, let me ask you a question before we get into the topics.

Yeah, yeah.

Let me ask you a quick question.

With everything you have to deal with, can you honestly break down how you are able to deal with your everyday life and still remember everything that's going on with your kids?

Yeah, because first of all, I communicate with my wife, bro, you know what I'm saying?

Because if I'm not there, I still got to keep tabs, you know.

Now these days, kids got cell phones, you know what I'm saying?

So it's easy to kind of like keep in tabs with your kids and stuff.

Like it's not hard, you know what I'm saying?

Because for me, I always, you know, reach out to him like, hey, what's going on?

What you doing?

You know, did you eat today?

You know what I'm saying?

What you doing?

Like you playing the game?

All right, cool.

Well, did you take a shower?

You know what I'm saying?

Like, it's just simple.

It's not hard, bro.

It's just some fact just taking the time out to really just think about them, if that makes sense.

It makes perfect sense.

But as I'm seeing with the, the consistency of these shows, I have to take the, the stance of being the irresponsible parent.

So I'mma let it be known that it's very hard for me.

So with everything I have going on with what I have to deal with in being the provider for my family and being the protector of everything that I'm paying attention to, I tend to forget my kids schedule.

Yeah.

So like today it happens all the time for me.

All the time.

So today my oldest is entering high school.

Yeah.

So she's still active, plays volleyball.

They first scrimmage was today.

Junior, when I tell you I forgot until the minute before she was supposed to be at the school, I forgot all about it.

Like I'm thinking about the last day of summer camp.

I'm thinking about transitioning into another, another business that I need to be running.

And my baby got, got scrimmage today.

This up first high school scrimmage.

Yeah.

And when I say you have that thought of, man, I got to be the worst parent in the world.

Cuz my woman got to remind me, you got to take your baby to scrimmage to a scrimmage.

My child got to remind me, daddy, it's time to go.

Like, hold on, I'm a grown ass man.

And this grown man forgot all about his baby.

Look, you coming to that time where it's like, bro, am I a bad parent?

That's my bad.

That's my phone, bro.

Why my phone doing that, bro?

Hey, my bad, y'.

All.

No, but this.

It's a.

Like, for real.

No, like.

But look, the crazy thing is, it's funny you said that, because my t. She called me Tuesday, and when she called me, you know, she just called, just check up on me.

You know what I'm saying?

But the thing is, we used to start talking, and I'm literally going to Walmart, bro, just trying to grab, you know, a few things before I go to the house.

And she mentioned, you know, my daughter, you know, she has a volleyball camp.

I mean, bodyball practice in the morning.

And I'm like, oh, sure, I'm glad you called, because I did tell her I was gonna.

I was gonna take her.

You know what I'm saying?

But.

But if she didn't call, I. Bro, I literally got.

I really forgot, bro.

And I literally forgot as a dad, and I'm not saying moms don't do the same thing, but as a dad, I want to put everything on my list because I can handle it.

But to see.

Hold on, before you go right there.

Is that.

Is that normal?

Is that a normal thing, bro?

Because I. I.

For me, that's normal.

Like what you just said, bro, that.

That's, like, for sure normal for me to take on everything, even if it takes whatever, I'll make sure, you know, I try to get it done.

And it.

And I'm glad you asked that.

It's very normal.

The.

The problem is understanding yourself, okay?

And so for me, I understand that, bruh.

Outside of a few things in life, my memory is horrible.

So every.

When I put that on my list, I got.

You know, I ain't gonna exaggerate.

So I got 30 things I have to handle today.

Out of that 30, the only thing I remember is wake up, take a shower.

The other 29, I'm fumbling because I got everything going on my mind, because that's.

That's my list of 30 today, but I got a list tomorrow, and then I got a list after that.

And then that's not adding in.

When your kids are calling and saying, daddy, I need blase blah, or, daddy, can you blase blah?

And then your woman calling and.

And, daddy, can you blase blah?

Daddy, can you blase blah?

And it's like, I take it on when you give it to me, but I forget as soon as I take on something new, you just knock some off my list.

That.

Oh, I'm supposed to be doing that, huh?

Yeah.

But the funny thing is, though, I don't even make a list.

It's just.

Okay, well, I take that back.

Is the list you write down, or is it the list that you keep in your head?

Because for me, I don't write nothing down.

Nothing.

It's in my head.

That's how I forgot, and that's how I'll be forgetting.

But once.

I ain't gonna lie, once I do write it down like it's a check.

Like if I write it down, it's gonna be checked.

And that's where I mess up right there.

That's what.

I'm gonna lie to you.

Because the checklist is what I need the checklist.

Because I.

For example, like, have you ever went to the stove and you went to grab all the groceries that you need and you forgot some?

And it usually be the most important thing, and that's.

I'm making tacos.

I got the meat, I got the shells.

Yeah.

But I ain't got the cheese.

You ain't got.

You ain't got nothing.

I forgot the cheese.

But see, when you write the list down, you.

I knew everything I need, so I started making that ahead when I go to the store.

Because if I don't roll $20 turned to 30.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

And.

And don't.

Don't let you go with a different mindset.

Whether you somebody that gets high, you somebody that go to the store mad.

Right.

You came overly happy.

Don't let you be in a different state of mind.

See if you normal.

Yeah.

Junior go to the store.

I needed cereal.

Yeah.

Milk.

Yeah.

And that was it.

Junior mad.

You know what?

My kids say something.

So I don't even want just a series.

I'm gonna get them this, then the other.

Or if I'm high, I want them.

I got the munchies.

Hey, bro.

I just came for cereal and milk.

I want everything, but I want the.

I want the sausage links.

I want everything.

So.

So that list is very important.

Before we get into anything else, that's something that's very minuscule, but it's very major.

Yeah, for sure.

Because as a man 100, the thing that.

That.

That faults you is your ego.

And that ego tells you, I got it.

It's in my heat.

Yeah.

It's in my heat.

And what you don't realize is it's a lot of things that's going through your head.

And you.

You're gonna forget right when you're supposed to remember.

That's a fact.

So that's major.

I'm glad you brought it up.

And that's.

That's the whole point of bringing this up.

Was dads out there.

Listen.

Yeah.

Checklist.

Listen.

It don't matter.

Your woman talking about you.

You got to make the checklist.

You getting old and.

And your memory is bad.

It don't matter.

Your kids talking about you.

It don't matter.

Even if it makes you feel less than that.

Checklist literally is your checklist.

That's what it's called.

And keeps you in line of what you already have.

Broken down now to the men that have all the money in the world.

Hey, do you think you do your thing?

You went to spend 30, you spent 100.

Do.

Hey, what they say?

Do you boo, do you boo, boo.

But for me, that's living on the budget right now.

Y. I need this checklist.

So when I get home, I'm a person.

I don't like you.

You getting on me about anything.

I don't want to hear your mouth about if we not playing or just having a normal conversation.

I'm ready to argue with you.

So I don't want to hear.

I don't want to go through that.

I like being played for Dominique.

And it saves you when you do the chick list.

My woman can't get on me if I did the chick.

You stand in line.

My kids can't complain or distract you or distract me when I stay on my checklist.

So for me, the checklist marks off my checklist.

Yeah, for sure.

And it's not about the.

Just the checklist of what I was supposed to be getting or doing.

It marks off the checklist, which is very important for to me, all men.

I don't want you reminding me of what I failed at or came up short on.

I need you to look at me like I got it.

Yeah, for sure.

So as much as the ego messes me up, that ego is what I deal with every day.

Oh, yeah.

And I need you to stroke this ego.

And the only way I know for a fact, walking through that front door or the back door, if you got a garage, I need to know there's no reason for you to come down on me.

Yeah.

Cause daddy handled his business.

I got everything.

Everything I need, Everything I need.

I got it, bro.

It happened every time.

No lie like it to the fathers out there.

Like he said, it's.

It's.

It's not A.

It's not a small thing.

You know what I'm saying?

We are human.

You know, we.

We.

We forget sometimes.

But I know for me for a fact, I have to sometimes write down a list because I get distracted because of certain things that I know my son or my daughters, they ask for.

But like I tell them, look, I'm going to the store for this and this only.

So I write my list down, I go in there and I'm coming out because I ain't got time to go to all the aisles.

And then two, look, I go to the store by myself.

Don't.

I go to the store by myself because I know for a fact if I go on with my kids, they going to pick, put something in the basket that's not on the list, bro.

And here I go getting off the list.

And.

And you remember what mama used to say.

And this.

This is how I know parenting is getting sold.

Cuz when I went to se with my parents, the first words out their mouth walking through the door is, don't ask for nothing.

Don't ask for nothing.

Now mine said it.

Don't ask for, bro.

Don't.

And you know, coach Pearson, don't cuss.

Oh, yeah, but.

But I knew how hard he said nothing.

What he wanted to say was, but don't ask for nothing.

We them soft ass parents now.

And now it's.

I tell you, don't ask for nothing, but as long as it's inside my budget.

But you nicer than me, Dominique.

N. I'm telling.

I'm.

No, no, I'm.

This what we getting coming out.

Hey, bro, look, I'm telling you, bro.

Hey, look, look.

Y', all, y', all, y', all, y' all tuning in to dad's friends and tequila.

Hey, Dominique, I think it's about that time.

Listen, listen, listen.

Before.

Before we change segments.

Yeah, I think it's something we do.

Yeah, I think we.

We gotta take a shot.

We gotta take a shot.

We gotta do that.

We gotta do that.

Put that liquid courage up in you.

I like that.

I like that.

That was good.

Smooth.

Yeah, Smooth.

All right, so that's gonna bring us right into topic one.

First topic of the day.

And I'm gonna shoot it your way, Junior.

All right.

How did being a present dad change you?

How did being an actual dad to the way we describe it, our definition of it, which means you're present for everything.

Yeah.

How did it change you as a person?

Well, it.

It taught me.

First of all, I know now I know I'm not just doing this, you know, just to be doing it, first of all, you know what I'm saying?

So it changed me to the person that I have to grow up, you know, in certain areas in my life, you know what I'm saying?

First of all, just being a listener to my kids, you know what I'm saying?

Understanding where they are.

Stop, Stop.

You got the floor, bro.

I promise you, it's just a question to keep you going with that.

Okay?

You said it made me a listener.

Yeah, for sure.

And it made me understand better.

Yeah, for sure.

How did that really make you feel when you came from being all about junior?

Yeah, for sure.

To actually listening, to understand somebody you truly care about because you cared about your mama?

Oh, yeah, for sure.

But you still lived your life how you wanted.

I did.

How did that change?

Like, how did that make you feel?

To change?

Or what did that go through in your.

Your mental capacity of having to listen, to understand, to deal with somebody I truly care about?

Yeah.

Now, see, now it gets to a point where I had to share me, you know what I'm saying?

Because now I got to show myself, you know, with my kids.

So now they got to know who me.

Who I am.

Then to.

I got to know who you are.

But then, too, I actually want to listen, because when I grew up, bro, there wasn't no, like, no line to where I can kind of like, vent or tell me how I feel about certain things, right?

But I knew how that felt as a kid, bro.

So for me, it was more like, I want to listen to understand where you are.

So me and you can come to a.

A common ground, or we can come to a line where we both.

I. I understand what.

How you feel.

You know what I'm saying?

But it grew.

It made me grow as a better person, because now I can communicate.

Because back then, bro, I ain't gonna lie, bro.

I ain't communicating nothing.

Like, it was all about me.

It was all about me, you know what I'm saying?

If you ain't speaking my language, well.

I ain't got nothing to do with it.

Obviously.

Obviously you speak in some foreign language.

Because I don't understand.

No, but.

But now that you know, you know something that I'm really invested in caring about, you know, that's.

That's really relying on me.

Yes.

You know what I'm saying?

Yes.

So for me, it was more like, look, I'm a young parent at that Dominique.

I ain't.

I ain't.

Like, I'm growing, like, 30 bro, I'm a young parent at the time when my kid got here.

So I had my first kid when I was like 22, you know what I'm saying?

So it was like, you know, at that time, 22, bro, you out in the streets, you know, kicking it big.

Kicking it.

So now the responsibility changed to the point now I really have to focus on, you know, really raising somebody that's looking at me to take care of them.

So it changed for me.

Well, it made me a person that I really, you know, want to be there for him 100, you know, if that makes sense.

Then too, I want them to make sure they know for a fact I got the experience corner.

Like I backed in into their corner.

And see for, for me and first and foremost, listen, when I say you're a soft parent, I'm not really attacking your character.

Right, Right.

I'm really being funny.

I need you to know it's a joke.

Because the reason we are this generation is looked as, as the softer parent is because of what you just explained.

I didn't have parents where I felt like I could turn around, invent.

Right.

I could just talk.

And I think we talked about this before.

It was more of a fear thing.

Yeah.

It's because I'm scared of you now when I want to come tell you about this, that and the other, what's going on in my life.

I'm scared I'm gonna get in trouble for it.

And now you're dealing with parents where we did listen to the old parents we did who said talk more, beat less.

And because you talk more, your kids are not afraid to really let you know about their personality and what they like and what they want and what they don't like and what they don't want.

And so I'm not calling you soft.

Right.

And meaning it.

I'm just saying it's softer than what we grew up with.

Not 100%, bro.

And for me, and even stand with it, how being a present day dad or present father.

Present dad.

That's there every day, that's wanting to be in their kid's life, how it changed me is this version of me that you're getting for me to be able to break it down and let you know that am I doing everything perfect now?

It's impossible.

But I know my kids feel like it's more of an open door policy with me.

Yeah.

Because I'm not quick to whoop you on your mistakes.

I'm quick to talk to you on your mistakes.

And so what it did for me is.

Grew my patience.

And for anybody out there that is a true believer of God, that's big, bro.

You know, you can't pray for patience.

He presents you with tests to build your opportunities, to build your, your patience.

That's a fact.

And for me, especially my first, especially my first, the patience she really built up inside of me because I had to deal with the crybaby.

Was that hard?

Oh, man.

Because a lot of people don't, you know, they don't have that patientness, you know what I'm saying?

They don't have patience at all.

And the reason they don't have the patience is because my life has been about me.

I love my daddy to death, and my mom's dead, but I love my sister, who pretty much stepped in as mom.

I love her to death.

I love them to the death because they raised me.

But in the way they raised me and thinking for myself and not having to raise them, I only thought about me, right?

I only cared about me, right?

But the minute Cason dropped, the minute the twins dropped, life ain't about me no more.

No, it's not.

And what, what makes it so hard is how do you, every day of your life, wake up feeling like the life is about me?

And then all of a sudden, the next day when that baby is born, it ain't nothing in this world about you.

No.

So it was a.

It wasn't just hard, it was a struggle.

Because every day I wake up, I'm used to dealing with me.

I'm hungry.

Just go pick some.

Pick something up.

Make some real quick.

And I'm good.

But when you have kids, I gotta make a bottle.

When I gotta, when I got babies, I gotta make a bottle or I gotta give you your baby food, or I have to pick something to where your portion is, your portion.

Because when you're a first time dad, you don't know that when they two, three years old, that Happy Meal is really like a buffet to them.

They can't eat all.

They're not.

And so you have to learn it.

And the, the reason my patience grew is as much as I'm frustrated, as much as I feel like I'm struggling, I still had enough care or love inside of me to pay attention to my baby.

For sure.

It was hard, of course.

Oh, now, Dominique, now I gotta ask you something too, because you just said something that a lot of people might kind of like give up.

Like when the times get, you know, frustrated, you know what I'm saying?

When it's hard and, like, you don't know where to turn, like, fellas, like, especially to the new dads, like, it's at the beginning.

Like we said in the previous shows, bro, there's no book, really, like, no real life book on raising a kid.

No.

You know what I'm saying?

So you.

You really have to take it day by day, you know what I'm saying?

To the point where, you know, it's not gonna be, you know, peaches and cream.

You know, the next day, shoot, tomorrow might be worse, but eventually it's gonna get better, you know what I'm saying?

So you really have to, like, just knuckle down, bro.

And you know what makes it better?

You?

Junior made it better for himself.

Dominic made it better for himself.

And how did you make it better for yourself?

By not quitting.

Nothing in life that's worth having is going to be easy.

And I'm not gonna sit here and lie to you.

Junior said it gets easier.

The only way it gets easier is you embrace the struggle.

Yeah, that's big.

That's big, bro.

For me.

That's really big for me every day.

Jay, I just told you my baby had her first scrimmage today at high school.

I want you to know, as excited as I was that it was my baby first scrimmage, she frustrated me even more.

And she frustrated me even more because she doesn't care about her sport like I do cared about my sport.

And she doesn't have the world with all of the thought process of this is what I'm going to do for my sport like I did.

Yeah.

And dedicated for dedicated.

Dedicated every chance I got.

If it's a basketball and I got free time, I'm picking up a basketball.

And she doesn't have that thought process, but she's still good enough to be on the 18.

She's still good enough to start, but she.

But she.

She's not there.

But I a mean to cut you off.

Do you think it's because of the.

The way the world is now because of technology, man.

And the way that the teachers and the school system j.

That goes back into even more frustration because my baby girl can sit in the house.

My oldest can sit in the house all day and only come out her room for three reasons.

Number one, she got to use a restroom.

Whether that's using the toilet or taking a shower.

Number two, she's hungry, and she can go in there and make her own food and eat.

Number three is because she needs something.

If it's not one of those three things, my baby sits in her room, door shut a.

Laying in her bed on social media or talking to her friends.

Oh, dang, bro, that sound like mine, bro.

I had to kick my son off the game, bro, to go eat, bro.

I had to kick him off the game to go eat.

Dominique, like, bro, he been playing the game four, five hours straight.

Once I told him to get off, bro, his brain realized he was hungry.

You know what I'm saying?

But it's a simple fact.

I just think that, you know, we.

We all grew up in different times.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, when I grew up, bro, like, we was outside.

Listen, as much as I.

And this is this.

And I was about to go the wrong route.

As much as our parents had us outside.

Yeah.

I can still tell you that my dad had the same conversation with me that you had with your son, bro, you've been on this game too long.

Yeah, go do something else.

Yeah, go do something.

Clean up.

I keep mine now.

I keep mine outside.

Like, I tell them to get out.

Go.

Go shoot some jumpers.

Like, it got to the point where I got my youngest, like, he didn't want to go outside.

I said, now get outside.

Put your phone down.

I need 100 jumpers.

Just, bro.

I swear, it brought tears to his eyes.

I said, the only last show, like, he brought cheers to his eyes because why he didn't want to go outside because it was too hot.

I'm like, bro, my mama used to lock the dough like, my granny used to like the screen, though, bro.

We had to drink water from the.

From the water hose, bro.

Like, this is nothing like.

I think it's just a different time frame, Dominique.

It's a.

It's a different time frame.

But as much as I'm gonna play the irresponsible parent on the show.

Yeah.

I'm also gonna play the parent that understands the childhood and remembering where we were for sure.

Because we're turning into our old parents that just complained about everything instead of paying attention where we was.

Because you just said something.

My mama put me out and locked the door.

Yeah.

So as a parent, if we being honest, how can I turn around and be extra man in my key?

Because I gotta put you out and lock the door.

Hey, look, I ain't gonna lie, Dominique.

I'm kicking.

Yeah.

I might have been talking to my woman or my sister, and they said, you know, the.

The thing that we have to realize as parents before we bash our parents about complaining, we have to realize the most Important thing.

And I said, what's that?

She said that I'm allowed to complain cuz I'm a grown ass person.

You're right.

You're absolutely correct.

Because everybody needs to vent.

And I forget that as.

As quick as I'm.

I'm as quick as I am to tell Junior, hey, don't forget your childhood.

Don't forget how your mama had to do this or your dad had to do this.

I'm also the person that's quick.

I. I talk.

I talk mad cash all day.

I.

That's what I. I like to.

People watch.

Yeah.

To talk about.

Yeah.

For sure.

Not in no ill will.

No, no, no, no.

I just like talking about you.

And that's a form of complaining.

You just want to hear yourself complain and move on.

And I like it.

So before I bash you for complaining, I need you to know I'm right here with you complaining.

But listen, listen, listen, Junior.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What's up?

We have something that goes on.

On this show.

Yeah.

We do Dominique.

And on this show, before we change segments, before we change topics.

Yeah.

Before we want to speak about anything outside of what we were already speaking.

Yeah.

We can't do nothing before this.

Before this.

Yeah.

And the show is called Dads.

Yeah.

Friends.

Yeah.

And.

And tequila.

Yeah.

And I don't think we've ever broke down with the antiquilies.

Yeah.

I think you break down that we.

We want to let you know about our.

Our palette.

Yeah.

For sure.

What we like to do.

Yeah.

But yes.

We never break down why that third word of the podcast.

Yeah.

Or fourth word.

Because it's.

And before it is.

And so the fourth word of the podcast.

Why they're so important.

Yeah.

Liquid courage.

It allows you to open up.

Yeah.

That means we gotta do what?

Dominic.

Take a shot.

Take a shot.

Said.

I like to say that.

Yeah.

You already know.

That's it.

So y' all know what time it is.

Look, on every show, we have a bottle, and y' all probably just want to know what, like, like what y' all be drinking.

What is it?

You know what I'm saying?

But we still drinking on El humidor.

You know, you can pick this up at your local liquor store.

This is reposados.

Because on this show, we sip a lot of reposados.

That's our thing, you know, Reposados is like the second stage of tequila, because it's three.

You have your silvers reposados, and you have an hoes.

So.

But for us, we love to drink the reposados.

Now Your silvers, you know, those are aged from like zero to three months.

Then reposados go from like six to a year.

Then after that you got some yejo that's like a little darker color, look like, you know, cognac and whiskey.

That's the yeho.

They age from a year to like, whatever.

So today we're drinking El humidor hand harvest 100 day agave.

So we already took that shot.

So y' all already know what time it is the next.

That's what it is.

All right, Dominique, I got something for you, my boy.

What is it?

All right, topic number two for the guys, the people that's listening in.

How does social media shape our expectations of dads?

How does social media, or should I say media, shape our expectations of a dad?

That's a great question.

Great question.

Listen, for me, I believe that the media has a way of making dads look like something that's almost impossible.

Okay?

And for me, what I.

What I mean when I say that is it's one thing for your kids to look at you like Superman, it's another for somebody to tell you you're supposed to be Superman.

And for me, the.

The best parenting advice I ever got was you're going to make mistakes.

And what we don't realize is as much as what makes you a superhero to your kids is you never stop showing up.

I have to be in the reality of things.

Yeah, for sure.

And for me, I remember for years, and we still deal with this till today, I look at my dad and my sister looks at my dad and we let him know that he's Superman.

He's a superhero to us.

And it's for the simple fact of my dad ain't going to quit on me.

J. I live my life a lot around my daddy.

Was there every step of the day.

But when I was a child, I realized he made mistakes in what he did as an adult, I realized in the mistakes he did.

But in my mind, he's still a Superman to me.

Sure.

But if it wasn't for my dad living in reality, then you start to believe that's who I am, that's what I'm supposed to be.

And that's not what you're supposed to be.

I'm not supposed to be a superhero.

I'm supposed to be your daddy.

A superhero is something that's make believe.

Yeah.

That's something we've seen on tv.

We ready to come with you.

A daddy is the ones who make mistakes and still show up.

Do what I'm supposed to do and still show up.

Don't want to get out of bed and still show up.

And so for everything when you're living in reality of being a daddy, media doesn't show you just how hard it is.

Yeah, I'm glad you said that, cuz.

Junior, you woke up today.

Did you feel like going to work?

You ain't got to.

You ain't got to answer, bro.

I already know.

Hell no.

But why do I have to go to work?

Cuz my wife needs me to take care of this.

My kids need me to take care of this.

And as much as you want me to be Superman, what we never read about in that superhero comic book or watched on the movies.

That's because there's plenty of Superman's out.

There's a lot of them.

I ain't never seen the struggles of everyday life for, for Clark.

I never saw it.

Now you're not gonna see it.

What you saw was Clark King go to work.

Clark can't break out.

He's Superman.

He saves the day.

What you don't see is Junior went through hell in high water.

I saved the day.

Yeah.

But I went through something that took so much out of me.

Yeah, a lot, bro.

And you, you said a lot in it.

And my thing is like my dad, he my hero.

You know what I'm saying?

But my thing is too.

I see.

And in the media is they portraying a fatherly figure.

Right.

But the thing is you're not getting real reality of what's really going on in real life.

Committed dads that's really taking care of their responsibilities.

And, and for us it's hard bro, like because we working so hard to, to.

To shape the media in the way we see it and what's not real, you know what I'm saying?

And for what y' all claiming for us to be as dads, you can be black, white, orange, green and purple, bro.

But the thing is it's the simple fact that everyday life is to the point where you do have struggles in everyday, you know, life that we do.

Like it's not, it's not going to be, you know, like you said earlier, bro, it's not going to be like Superman coming in here saving the day and that's it.

No bro, like bro, I gotta take the trash out.

Like it's, it's certain things that we do as parents, I mean as dads, that a lot of, a lot of light don't get shined on.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

Because why because they not looking for that.

Yeah, so.

So you know what you don't see on media, do you see on media have the older daughter that's teenage age, getting into it with their mama and it's just a woman conflict.

And do you see on media how dads and sons get into it?

Because it's a conflict of you feeling like a man.

I am a man.

Right.

And it's the same for daughters and moms.

You feeling like a woman.

I am a woman.

Right.

So you don't want to listen to me anymore.

You don't want to deal with it.

It's certain things in media that they don't portray that doesn't get you prepared for being daddy of the year.

Yeah, see that's, that's the thing for us.

It's like, that's why we created this show.

Because we're real fathers, bro.

Like, we there every day.

Hey, when you wake up, your kids are there, you know, when I wake up, my kids are there.

So it's like we not sitting here portraying that everything is going to be, you know, like, cool.

Like, bro, no, we, you.

This is real life, you know, parenting, fatherhood.

Like, we wake up, shoot, sometimes, bro, I ain't.

I need groceries, bro.

Like, I might have to wait till next payday.

They don't show that on media.

No.

You know what I'm saying?

And, and this, this, this the crazy thing, you know, some of the best, best dads have to co parent.

Yeah.

That means I don't see my kid every day.

That's true.

That's true.

Ain't gonna lie.

I'm one of them.

Dominique, I'm right there with you, cuz.

I got my oldest.

Yeah.

Full time.

See, I got my boys every day.

See, I got my boys full time.

But my, but my, my baby, my, my second oldest daughter, like, she with her mom.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

My oldest, she grown, you know, she doing a thing.

But it's some effect that.

It's just some effect of co parenting too.

But, but the thing is that it's not, it's not just about what you see on tv, you know what I'm saying?

It's what you doing in everyday life.

Like, and you have to do.

You gotta think about that.

Yeah.

Like, it's like what you doing like here, like turn the TV out.

Because that's not, it's not telling your story, you know what I'm saying?

Of what's going on.

That's some, that's something that they making up like, it's something that's not, you know, realistic to the point where it may.

It makes sense in your household.

And that's why, for me, like, I don't watch tv, bro.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, I scroll on social media here and there, but when I see dad stuff, bro, I'll be like, bro, I don't.

I don't do that.

No.

It's a lie.

You know what I'm saying?

Because it don't make sense to me.

And, And.

And.

And for me, it's.

It's something that you have to realize when you become, quote, unquote, dad of the Year.

I have to make the kids and my woman know what I like, be able to accept what I like.

But.

And this is the hardest thing for a dad, is accepting what you like.

So for me, everybody in my household, not name Dominic or Quincy, which is two boys, all the girls, you know what they like to do?

J.R. what was that number?

Go out and spend money.

Yeah.

I ain't with it.

I like to spend, but I don't like to spin.

No.

And for me, I had to learn that as much as I am a homebody, J. I like my four walls.

Yeah.

I love them.

They mine.

I pay for them.

Yeah.

I pay for them every month.

Yeah.

And I want to be right here.

But Kinsley and Cason, they like doing other things.

Yeah.

And it's.

It's something that I had to learn that I didn't realize that I was hurting my kids.

Because when they come to ask to go to the trampoline park, when they come to ask to go to the park, when they come to ask to go to the mall, when they come to ask to do anything is not so much that they looking at you and saying, I'm tired of being in this house.

They're telling you what's going on in their mind.

Right.

What they want.

But see, hold on, Dominique, but is that.

Is that interrupting your me time?

It.

It very much is, because I know.

For a fact it interrupts mine.

Yeah.

Because when mine asked me to go somewhere, I'd be like, bro, like, l. I just got home or I just woke up.

Like, I need a day to myself.

Like I need to gather my thoughts.

Like I need to, you know, see what's really going on, you know what I'm saying?

Around the house.

And, you know, when you get that, when your kids gone.

Yeah.

I didn't realize emptiness.

You hear me?

I didn't realize when my dad and all the other parents got Excited for saying those two words.

You just said, I have an empty mess.

Yeah.

I didn't realize until I talked to my pops.

My baby had a game last week.

Yeah, she played.

She had a soccer game in a basketball game.

She had a basketball tournament, then she had a soccer game afterwards.

And I didn't realize at.

My dad comes to the game and says, I had a holly child.

She won the championship.

Yeah, said I, holly child.

Now she got a soccer game.

He said, now you got a soccer game.

What I got, I got time at the house.

We not doing no dates.

Me and Sharonda, I already decided.

We going home, watching movies, TV series and relaxing.

And at that moment, yeah, I realized why empty, being empty nester is so important.

Because everything that we.

We dreaming of as a present parent with keys that's still in school is.

I miss those times where I could sleep in when I feel like it.

We grown.

We don't have sleeping no more.

Sleeping till 8, 9 o'.

Clock.

But.

But I want the opportunity.

Yeah.

I just want the opportunity.

I want the choice of.

It's seven o'.

Clock.

Yeah.

I ain't got to get up till 9, man.

Look, it's funny you said that because every time my kids get a birthday or have a birthday, I'll be like, oh, you getting closer to getting out the house.

Like, oh, yeah, you getting close.

You're getting close because even when me and my wife, we go on vac, like we go on the staycation or we going where, bro?

The first day, but we sleeping in like, it's like, like no kids, no nothing.

Bro, we sleeping in because we don't get that time like we used to.

You know what I'm saying?

But the thing is, though, fellas, like, don't.

Don't let, you know, the media, you know, dictate your, you know, your, your thought process of how you parent your kids.

But as long as you that present, you know, 100 committed on raising your kids, bro, all that don't matter, man.

I got.

I got a.

A way of life that I feel.

This is my opinion, I have no problem being wrong, J.R. okay?

I've been wrong a lot of my life.

So if I'm wrong, you ain't the only one.

But in my humble opinion, I believe that when you are parenting your kids, I believe you should take a little bit of everybody and make it your own.

Yeah.

And so I remember watching Junior early on, and your big thing was, I gotta get out and spend time with my kids.

So you were going different places, you Told me about Nickel Roma even though we went with the summer camp.

But you were taking your kids.

Yeah.

I wouldn't.

Hold on.

You go to Nickel Roma area at the weekend, Junior.

Hold on.

I gotta.

I gotta add that in.

Yeah, I gotta add that in.

Then you look on.

On media, and I'm seeing that dads are.

This dad is having game night with his kids.

Cool.

I got to add that in.

Hey, I'm also seeing on Saturday they ain't had nothing to do.

He literally in the video, they showing that the kids are complaining.

They.

They getting tired of the tv.

Cool.

Let's have a karaoke night.

And I'm paying attention to all of it.

Does that mean I need to act like that daddy 247 and everything he doing?

No.

No.

Do I need to pay attention to what the TV or social media is showing me about dad is doing?

No.

What I need to pay attention to is what I can bring into what I already have going on.

And I. I really was paying attention to.

They had a documentary on Kobe, and you remember everybody compared Kobe to Jordan.

They did.

And I was listening to Kobe, and he said something that stuck with me.

He said, I didn't have a problem with the comparisons to Jordan, but if y' all really paid attention to my game, I took bits and pieces of Jordan's game and made a part of mine.

But which I'll never speak on is I took bits and pieces of a whole lot of other players games as well.

You pay attention to the parts you like.

Yep.

You take that in, but you make it your own.

So just because Junior paid attention to Allen Iverson.

I'm sorry, I know basketball pretty well.

So we're gonna make this comparison.

We do.

Junior knows Allen Iverson, and you knew Alan Iverson for the crossover.

But when Junior played basketball, I may take the Allen Ivory Island.

Oh, I can't speak Allen Iverson crossover.

Yeah.

And put it into my game plan.

Yeah.

But you know what Junior wasn't trying to do?

Play, like, Allen Iverson the whole game.

See, that's what you just said, Dominique.

That is big bro.

That's.

That's because I'm not the only one that did that, too, Dominique.

Like, I took stuff from you.

I took stuff from Jeremy.

You know what I'm saying?

Because why.

It takes a.

What?

It's.

It's a thing that they say it takes a village to raise a kid Right.

And what they mean by that is it's not that, you know, your kids are being watched by other people.

Yes, they Can.

But it's the same thing.

Like, look what you doing, I'm not doing in my household.

You know what I'm saying?

I can, I can add that to my household.

Because when I was raising my kids, bro, like, I didn't.

I didn't know.

I didn't know a lot about raising my kids.

So I had to learn from others, you know what I'm saying?

And see what I wanted my kids to grow up like, or what I want to teach my kids.

So basically what.

What I hear you saying, what I hear me saying is media has shaped fatherhood into something they see.

Yeah, for sure.

But what Junior is preaching, what Dominic is preaching is you being a dad is based upon you in your opinion, on being a dad.

Because when I walk into Junior's household, he's raising his kids how Junior raised his kids.

He's not raising his kids how Dominic raises his kids.

Nobody should shape how you are dead.

And if you're showing up every day making sure I'm a part of my kids life every day, making sure that I'm doing everything that I'm supposed to be doing with my kids, then that's what a great dad is.

Not for real.

Because there's no other way to break it down.

There's no other way.

Because you do things your way.

Yep, I do things my way.

Now, when we sit here, which one is the gray dad?

You can't see because why you doing your thing?

I'm doing my thing.

So that means we both were great dads.

Yeah.

You just did it your way.

I just did it my way.

So.

So basically it's like everybody compare Kobe to Jordan.

Yeah, everybody compares Jordan to great.

But at the end of the day, is Kobe great?

Yeah, he's great.

Is Jordan great?

They're both great.

Then you can do it your way.

And I can do it.

I can do it my way.

And it goes into what you just said.

There's no book on parenting.

No, it's not.

So if I take Junior, Jeremy, my dad, and that's how I'm a dad, and Junior takes Dominic, Jeremy and his dad, and that's how he's a dad as long as I'm raising my children on how to.

To live life without me, y. I've done what I was supposed to do.

Yeah.

And see, that goes back to, you know, the fathers listening.

You know, if you see examples of, you know, parenting that you like, bro, just take a piece of it.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, it's a thing like you know, it's nothing wrong being a copycat, which is not a copycat.

You know what I'm saying?

It's.

It's just free knowledge.

It's free game.

So if you see something that somebody do, bro, ask, bro.

Like, it's plenty of times I went out, bro.

Like I said on the last show, bro, there's plenty of times I went out, and people, you know, they'll give me a compliment.

Dominique, they'd be like, hey, man, you're doing it.

You're doing an excellent, good job with your kids.

Yeah, I appreciate it, but, you know, I'm standing on, you know, shoulders of giants that already done that, you know, and that makes me a better parent, bro.

I'm not.

I'm not afraid to say if I'm wrong in this situation or I'm not afraid to admit that I don't know about certain things because why I want to be the best parent that I can and the best father that I can.

So.

So what it sounds like.

What it sounds like to me in what you just said, you're stepping up being a man as a man of my household, and that's whether you have a girlfriend, married, or just you and your kids.

As a man in my household, I have to be able to stand up front and take the bullets.

Yeah.

And it's not just physical bullets because of the regular break scene.

Jerry, I'm dying for my kids.

Oh, I'm going in quick.

Going in.

But it's not just that that I'm facing.

That's not the only bullet that I'm taking.

I have to be able to stand up and take the bullet.

When I'm wrong, I have to stand up and take the bullet when my opinion wasn't the opinion.

You.

You needed my advice.

Wasn't the greatest advice.

Whatever it is, I have to stand in it.

Whether it be.

I did what I was supposed to do.

Yeah.

I did it wrong.

I got have.

I have to be able to own it and move forward.

Y.

Why?

Because it's what we just talked about.

My entire job as a parent.

And I got this from Black Panther.

And he said that part in Black Panther when he went to see his daddy did.

He said, my entire job.

I failed as a dad because my entire job was to get you prepared for when I die.

Yeah.

My entire job as a parent.

Yeah.

Is to raise you to be able to live life without me around.

And for me, in my way of thinking, is one.

A big thing of raising you in being able to live without Me is what we started off with.

What's her purpose is the accountability.

Yeah.

I have to be able to take the accountability when I'm wrong.

Yeah.

Even when I don't want to admit it.

One thing that I tell my kids constantly is daddy is going to forever tell you the truth, no matter how it makes me look, whether it makes me look good or the worst person in the world.

At the end of the day, the truth will always be the truth.

Hey, Dominique, how many times have I called you on the phone and I asked you a question about a situation, bro.

Yeah, that's all the time, you know what I'm saying?

Because why.

It's not the point that, you know, I'm looking for a pat on the back, you know what I'm saying?

I'm trying to be accountable too, you know what I'm saying?

It's plenty of times I know for a fact, like, bro, let me.

Let me ask you if I'm wrong, you know what I'm saying?

Let me know if I'm wrong.

Because if I'm wrong, please let me know.

Because now I need to think about it, you know, a different way or a different situation or I might need to apologize, you know what I'm saying?

Because why I'm trying to be the best dad that I can be.

You know what I'm saying?

Because why, like you said a while ago, like, when I'm gone, I want to know.

I want you to know for a fact that I was there for you then.

Two, I want you to be able to live without me.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

The biggest thing.

And before we go into to what's next, the biggest thing for me is you have to realize something real quick.

Your kids pay attention to your actions more than they pay attention to your words.

And for me, my kids seeing me take accountability, my kids seeing me stand up and make a choice without somebody having to ask me three or four times.

My kids seeing me come in and get on to you.

But it coming from a place of love.

Yeah.

And my kids seeing all of these things for me is what's more important than what the media is putting out.

What the media is showing you is not what actually the kids need.

Is that.

Is that 50 pulling up?

That look like 50, but was that 50?

Nah, he just kept driving.

But the.

The thing for me is what we have to realize is on this show, when we get ready to change a segment.

Yeah.

The most important thing.

Oh, you already know what that is.

For dads to Know is I need y' all to already have it pulled up because it's time to change it up and switch it up and it's time to take a shot.

Y' all know what this is?

This is Dad's friends in tequila.

Yeah.

Jesus.

Jesus.

Yeah, it's catching up now.

Yeah, it is.

Liquid courage.

Yeah.

All right, listen, topic three.

Yep.

This is.

Before we get into the end of the show.

Yep.

You know it.

I need you to talk to me about the mental health.

Yeah.

And the pressures of modern fatherhood.

Oh, bro, that's.

That's really a deep one.

Yeah, it kind of go.

It kind of go into what we.

Just got to talk about, too.

Exactly.

You do, because I'm going to the mental health state.

Because, fellas, we do have a lot of stuff on our shoulders.

Like, we do deal with a lot of stuff.

Not just at home, you know, we deal with stuff at work, you know what I'm saying?

So we really have to check in and make sure, you know, you're good, because you have.

And that's why we created this show, because for us, like, fellas, I know I can say.

I can.

I can say this for myself.

Like, bro, I don't talk to nobody, bro, you know what I'm saying?

Like, I really don't, you know, vent to nobody, you know what I'm saying?

This is you a Jeremy.

But other than that, bro, I'm not talking to nobody about how I feel and how, you know, where I met in my space, you know what I'm saying?

But.

But for me, but the.

Just the.

Just the mental state, bro, you.

You definitely have to check that, you know, if that's going to go work out, you know, to relieve some stress, you know, you need to find some me time because you deal with non stop, you know, kids, wife, your girl.

Like, you have so much stuff that, you know, that really just cover up your space for you, and you don't really have a space to really, like, just chill and relax, bro, if.

If I'm, you know, if I'm.

If I'm going in the right direction.

Because for me, I'm gonna speak for me.

Like, for me, one things I like to do, bro, is now I used to like to go hoop, you know what I'm saying?

I used to like to go hoop, but now I like to shoot pool.

You know, I'm saying that's my thing.

So for me, like, when I go shoot pool, bro, that's just for me just to get over here and just, you know, how you said just reboot.

You know what I'm saying?

Because I'm going back to, you know, you know, being a father, being, you know, husband.

Like, it's, it's a lot of stuff that goes on in my daily life.

I just need something to just, just take a breath.

But a lot of people don't have that space to do, Dominique.

No, they don't.

And, and for me, just piggybacking off of what you just said, I feel like as a, as, as a dad, and it took me a minute to get to this, you have so much that you do deal with.

So we can go to every dude that's dealing in their fatherhood phase right now.

And for me, I just feel like what you just said is the most important thing.

So each, each category of dad.

So you have the dad that has the woman married, living with him.

Whether y' all are married or it's your living girlfriend, you have.

Let's say we can do my story.

I got three kids and a woman who lives with me.

That means I have four obligations that I have to deal with.

Hit them shots.

Getting you, bro.

Yeah, there is.

But when you're dealing with.

Because when you're dealing with a woman, she becomes just like your child.

She's your obligation and she puts everything on you just like your kids do.

Now when you deal with a dad that I.

It's just me and my kids.

What I have to deal with is my kids know that they can only depend on me.

So I put everything on you.

Then when you deal with the dad where it's the.

I'm co parenting, I don't even deal with my kids every day.

Now I have to deal with the, the things that the mom says because she has so much stress she has to deal with.

And then on top of what my.

Kids say, that's that baby mama drama.

That baby mama drama.

And there's.

There's no specific story, whichever story you have where you don't have everything piled up on you.

Yeah, sure.

And as a man, number one, that's what you should want.

Yeah, for sure.

That's what I want.

Yeah.

I want all of it.

Number two, it's frustrating, even though I want it.

And for me, that's very frustrating when you talk about your mental of this modern day fatherhood.

Because now I got to deal with social media.

Now I got to deal with the access you have on your phone and tablet.

Now I got to deal with what I didn't have as a kid.

Yeah.

My kids now have I Can put the phone in front of you.

You can play games all day and they're starting at 12 years old.

You can do everything on there.

And in, in jail, I don't literally watch my 3 year old be able to work my phone better than me.

And for me, the, the mental capacity that you need as a dad, especially in the modern fatherhood, is what you just said of I have to find, I have to carve out some time where it's just me.

Whether it be the gym.

Yeah.

Whether it be go shipu.

Yeah.

Whether it be a basketball time.

Whether it be just sitting in the corner and just collecting my thoughts.

Yeah.

Telling my kids, telling my woman, telling anybody around me, hey, I just need this time to relax it because as a, as a present dad, not just a father, not just somebody who says I have kids, somebody who's present for everything, everything falls back on you.

Well, Junior, you got $10 in your to your name.

Your son just came in here and asked you for 20 because he needs it for what's going on at school.

That's something that plays with my mental.

Because right, right now, do I feel like a real life dad?

I don't at all.

Because I can't provide.

The first thing you learned about as being a man is being able to.

Provide buy for your family.

And if I can't provide for that field trip or for your lunch, now it's playing with me mentally.

Yeah.

And for me, I can accept the wrongdoings or me not being up to the level I need to be it if I find the spaces that I need to be in.

Yeah, that's, that's good, bro, because you, you said something that a lot of people not realizing.

It's two parts, right.

You have a mental and you have a physical.

You know what I'm saying?

Okay.

Right now we focus on the mental state.

That's the mind.

Right?

But then two fellas, you, you, everybody has a space.

If you go in your house, you look your kids in your room, that's their own space.

The wife is in the room.

She might be reading the book, she might be watching her favorite show.

But the thing is, you have to carve out that time for yourself.

Because, bro, out here in these streets, bro, it is tough, bro, like it's real out here.

Like, life is life.

And bro, like I can tell you right now, life is life.

And it's plenty of times that I came to the house, it's just like, bro, like, like what we gonna eat today?

Yeah.

You know, saying it's just like.

But the thing is, me as a parent, I'm so committed.

It's like, okay, cool, I can deal with it.

But then too, I do need, you know, to be able to.

To vent and release some of.

Some of this, you know, pressures that we have.

Because we do have precious bro.

Like, you know, we shoot gas is like $3.25.

And.

And the funny thing is, JR I got a little money in my pocket.

Yeah.

It's still a struggle.

Yeah.

Just because you hear the examples of not having the funds to take care of what you need to take care of, you think that's the only struggle?

It's not.

You can have the funds and still struggle 100.

The problem is God has not created a world where you not gonna have problems and struggles for real.

And for me, talk to him.

I feel like as much as I care for my kids, I have to care for my mental.

I'm not taking away from my kids to take care of my mental.

Because then you taken away from your kids.

But.

But in the same breath that I am taking care of my kids, I have to remember me.

Because I can't take care of you if I can't take care of me.

Right.

And that's, That's.

That's very much important.

And so for.

For me as a dad, do I want to take on everything?

Hell, yeah.

Yeah, for sure.

Everything's back on me.

Why?

Because I need you to grow up and remember Daddy did whatever I needed.

But at the same time, you have to realize when you take on everything, you're taking on every stress there is to take on.

You take on everything in the house.

Dominic, and everything falls back on you.

It does.

So how does Junior find the way?

How does Dominic find the reason to continue to go forward?

Right.

And the only thing that is for me is it's kind of what we talked about earlier.

Earlier today, when I came over, you said, bro, I gotta get back in the gym.

And the reason I got to get back in the gym is because when I look at myself in the mirror, that's what I see.

I need to be back in the gym.

And because I'm a dad, I realized there was two things at once.

Number one, that was Junior realizing I need to get back in the gym to get my body where I wanted to be.

Yeah.

But the second thing is I got to get what I feel I need for me in dealing with my kids 100%.

Because what the gym does is not just give me this great physique to show Everybody, what the gym does is boost up my energy.

Yeah.

I need.

Is the same as when you said I need the pool.

The pool.

When I go to the pool table and I'm hitting pool and I'm shooting pool, what I'm realizing is I needed some time away.

Yeah.

From everything I have to deal with.

But you never said I can skip out on what baby girl is doing with her volleyball practice.

I can skip over my boys having to practice.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I took care of that first.

Yeah.

But I still need to have my mental state straight.

Yeah.

For the next day.

And that's.

That's another thing, too.

But before I go further, Dominic, you said you had money in your pocket, bro.

Get $5, bro.

You know what I'm saying?

Get $5.

I got $4.50.

Hey, look, let me get two of them.

You know what I'm saying?

But now, look, look.

But my thing is, though, we.

We both.

We both understand that.

That, fellas, it don't matter what it is.

Like, you have to.

You.

You.

You are the head of the household and you said something.

You said something earlier, bro.

You was like, everything falls back on you.

Have you ever came to the house for the attitude?

You notice your attitude trickles the whole house.

The entire house.

The whole house, bro.

Like, it's plenty of times I didn't done that.

And it was my fault because while I was just mentally frustrated, not physically, I was just mentally frustrated to the point where I don't have anything to, like, you know, release, like, to outlet to.

And that's one reason why we started this podcast, too, because why there's not a lot of dads that have a place to, you know, to outlet or vent to.

To the point where they can just get some liquids, encouragement.

I said liquid encouragement.

Some encouragement to, you know, just to keep going.

Because it's tough out here, bro.

Like, it's not.

It's not something that, you know, that we, you know, we're going to do for, you know, for the rest of our lives.

But it's just something at a period of time that we.

We definitely have to be, like, mentally, you know, involved to the point where.

That we're healthy, you know, healthy to the point where, like, we're thinking straight.

Because it falls back on us.

Like, we.

Everything that we do, everything we do is fall back on us.

We're definitely getting.

We definitely getting the blame.

Everything's fall back on us if.

If anything doesn't go right, it's falling back on us.

If you don't do this, it falls back on you, bro.

It's toug stuff.

We.

We get it.

You know what I'm saying?

We definitely understand, but at the same time, we.

You have to stay mentally sharp.

That's the important thing right now.

As a man, I need y' all to realize something, especially if you're believing in God, as a man, you have to realize that everything falls back on you.

Your woman makes the wrong choice, guess who fault it is?

Yours.

You have to be willing to take the bullet for your family every time.

When your kids go to school and show they ass, when they out in public and they doing the wrong thing, the first thing that needs to pop into your head is, we're not doing a bad job as a parent.

I'm doing a bad job as a dad.

Right.

Because as a man, I can handle it because I can detach from the emotion.

So I'm not emotionally telling myself that I'm a bad dad.

No.

I'm emotionally telling myself I made a mistake, made the correction, move forward.

Yeah.

And for me, that what you just said is very vital in this.

When we're talking about the mental and the pressures of being a dad.

The mental and the pressures of being a dad, the first thing you have to do is realize the reality of things.

The reality of things is, even if I had nothing to do with you doing the wrong thing, it still falls back on me.

Yeah.

Everything.

And if I'm able to take the.

The negative hit and turn around and present something positive, we can move forward with whatever we have going on as a family.

I'm not taking nothing away from the moms, because without that nurturing going on, this would be a horrible household.

Yeah.

They do a lot of nurturing that we need because they.

Women nurture us as well.

Yeah, for sure.

But it's not so much happy wife, happy life.

The environment is set by the man.

Yeah, for sure.

What you just said is absolutely correct.

It.

Can a woman come home and give attitude and it's felt throughout the house.

Yes, but because Junior is here and he has the positive energy, guess what?

The minute that negative is seen and met.

Yeah, I see the positive, and I can switch it back.

Switch it back.

And the emotional state.

So the.

The better thing to say right here, that.

That I'm thinking of right now is the emotional state is really controlled by the man.

Yes, you want your woman happy because, yes, they care about the mom just like they care about dad.

But the emotional state, the physical state, the mental state of the Household is because of dad.

Yeah, for sure.

Mom come home and feeling bad.

Kids just go to their room.

Dad come home feeling bad and letting the household feel it.

And the whole household is in shambles.

Because you're the leader.

You have to be able to grasp that I'm the leader.

Pull in that I'm the leader and own.

I'm the leader.

So everything that's good comes through me.

I just have to shut up about it.

Yeah, everything that's bad is my fault.

I just gotta shut up and come up with a solution.

Yeah, see, that's what.

And that's.

That's the things, fellas, you got to understand too, that, you know, you are the leader, so you are the person that's, you know, responsible for, you know, everything that goes on in your household.

If you see the problem in your natural being, you are the provider, you are the solutioner.

So you the one that come.

We don't think with the emotions first.

So if you see the problem, this is automatically fix it.

Because why if you don't, it's gonna go downhill.

Not downhill in a bad way.

It can wind up.

Wind up being a bad week.

But the thing is, if you see that, bring it up and talk about it or whatever it is, because it.

Falls back on you.

It falls back on you big time.

Like it falls on you every single time.

That's just like, for me, bro.

I'm gonna just use me, for example, bro.

I'm on child support.

Dominique.

I take care of my kids, though, but it falls back on me.

Not to the point that I don't take out my kids.

No, you responsible for this kid.

You got to pay child support.

It's cool.

I don't have a problem doing that.

But the end of the day, they don't change me as being the parent.

It don't change me as being a dad.

You know what I'm saying?

But at the end of the day, you have to own up to all your responsibilities, and you always have to show up and show out as being a dad.

Do you have to?

Because there's people watching you and waiting for you to make that mistake so they can.

I'm not talking about the world.

I'm just talking about your kids.

Yeah, and hold on.

I mean to cut you off, too, because you said that earlier.

I'm glad you said it now because that's what I want to speak on, too.

Your kids actually pay attention without you knowing.

Like, they pick up on your habits, they pick up on your thoughts, they pick up on Everything that you do.

Prime example.

Like, I listen to the radio.

I love music.

Dominique and my sons, they love listening to music with me.

And you always bring it up that I'm always the ad lib king.

But the funny thing is, like my youngest and my oldest, they pick up on my alleles too, because that's all I be, you know, point out.

But they listen and they watching me.

But it's a simple fact that what you're doing, they're paying attention to what you know.

Everything.

Yeah.

Your everyday life, everything.

Are you not knowing they're watching, you.

Know, and they, they.

And I'm talking about something small.

Very small.

Minuscule, junior.

So listen, I'm the popcorn dude.

Yeah.

If it's buttered, I like it.

If it's caramel, I like it.

Yeah.

If it's cheese, I like it.

If it's unbuttered, unseasoned, I can put salt on it.

I like popcorn.

That's my go to snack.

That's my go to.

I'm hungry.

Just put some on my stomach and in my eyes.

Yeah.

I'm just worried about Dominique.

That's what I like.

I like popcorn.

Well, I don't handle the grocery shopping in my household.

My lady does.

She, she pays attention.

Outlet.

She wants to.

To do it.

Then do your thing, baby.

And I make sure every time she go to the grocery, to the grocery store, get my popcorn.

Yeah, I need my popcorn.

I like popcorn, but better than candy and chips.

And she went, this was some months ago.

And she went and got the big box, 24 pack.

And I'm in there talking noise.

Cause I want my popcorn, baby.

You ain't get my popcorn.

And blase blah.

And she's like, I did get popcorn.

I said, she said something like, I know you've been smelling or something.

I was like, no, I ain't paid attention because I ain't have my popcorn.

She said, I got the big box because I know you like popcorn like that.

I got the 24 pack.

Well, I'm looking in the pantry.

And as I'm looking through the pantry, listen, I'm not the smartest guy.

Yeah.

But I know how to read.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And when I'm reading over this ain't nothing, not one of these boxes say popcorn.

Yeah, but I ain't gonna say nothing.

It was eight.

You forgot.

Whatever, move on.

Well, the next time I saw the popcorn in the bag.

Yeah, I know my popcorn here, she gets the extra butter.

That, that's for me.

That's the thing.

Come back three Days later, it's only one bag of popcorn in there.

And in my eyes, she told me she only eat popcorn when she around me.

Yeah.

And my kids don't never ask for popcorn.

Yeah.

So somebody coming in here stealing popcorn?

Yeah.

Nah, it ain't that I'm stealing popcorn.

I've heard daddy hype up popcorn my whole life.

Guess what I like now.

Popcorn.

Not only do I.

Not only do I like popcorn, I make my popcorn like my daddy.

Yeah.

I don't leave it in the bag.

I put it in the bowl.

And then you put in the bowl and you can season how you want to.

You get all the popcorn season.

Yeah.

And Junior came out one day, and I don't know what I came out for.

Water, come do something, whatever.

And walking by the kitchen, smell popcorn.

Yeah.

Almost popcorn.

Make my way into the kitchen, and I'm watching my baby, my oldest baby, pour the popcorn into the bowl.

Yeah.

And season all the popcorn.

And without even really paying attention to it, I watched my baby do exactly what she saw her daddy do.

Yeah.

Exactly.

Exactly.

To the T. What she saw me do to the t. To the.

The shaking of it.

Of when you.

You shake it around.

Seasoning, getting around.

And it's like, damn.

Yeah.

I didn't realize me making a simple bowl of popcorn, my kids are watching.

It to the teeth, bro.

It's funny you said that too, because.

So I went to the store yesterday and.

And I was getting some apples.

You know what I'm saying?

So we went to Winko, me and my youngest, my baby boy, Ethan.

So we grabbed some apples.

So he grabbed some green apples.

He wanted green.

So he was like, dad, I want the green.

I'm like, all right, cool.

You can get green, but just get a bag.

Because you ain't the only one that eat, you know, green apples.

Whatever.

And so I grabbed, you know, some Fuji apples or whatever.

So I grabbed a red and the green or whatever.

So I went over there, you know, Winko, they got the, like the, like you can.

How do you.

How you say, like you can get the fresh, like, honey roasted peanut butter.

So I went to the machine, you know what I'm saying?

And got my peanut butter.

Whatever.

And once I got my peanut butter, he looking at.

He was like, yeah, man, that's the look.

Nasty.

I said, bro, you don't know what you're missing.

So later today, I come into the house, bro, he got a plate with an apple and he got peanut butter.

So he.

He's eating it, but he looking at me.

He's like, it's good.

I said, I know it's good, bro.

I said, I put your sisters and your brothers on this, bruh.

Like, this is my thing.

Like, I taught them this.

So I like apples and peanut butter, right?

But my mom, she put me on it years ago.

Like, she didn't have, you know, you got the common apples and stuff like that.

We didn't have a comb out.

So she was like, here, try this with the peanut butter.

But it was a hit.

So now my thing is, when I go to the store, I always grab a jar of peanut butter and I grab apple.

So one day I came in, I had my.

My baby girl, she.

She had a plate, apples and peanut butter.

And my youngest daughter, she had a plate one day.

Then my oldest son, he tried it.

It's like it's a domino effect because they saw me eating it.

You know what I'm saying?

But they looking at it, it's like, bro, they look nasty, but until you try, right?

But some fact, they paying attention to your every.

And they don't know.

Yeah, it's just like.

It's just.

It's just subconsciously, I just want to do it.

Because Daddy did, right, J.R. i grew up.

They got Taco Tuesday now.

Hit your mute.

No, you good.

They got Taco Tuesday now.

But when I was coming up, my family did tacos on Saturday night.

Every Saturday night we had tacos, J.R. you know, you was over there.

Yeah.

Every.

Every Saturday night.

Every Saturday, we had tacos.

It didn't matter what was going on.

We coming home, it's tacos Saturday.

And in my eyes, I just like tacos.

They good.

So we get to me having kids, and it's time for tacos.

But after you have something for so long, you gotta create your own thing.

So I got something I call taco salad.

That realize after talking to a couple of people that ain't taco salad, but it's my version of taco salad.

And so we don't do the taco shells, we do the taco chips.

And my kids rave about my tacos.

They.

They love it.

I season the meat to the tea.

That's my one dish that Jared I know.

I know how to cook some ground turkey.

I don't do beef ground turkey.

I know how to season, and it's good.

Yeah.

And I remember bragging to my dad about it, and he said, you know, the funny thing about you having.

Keeping this.

Not having, but keeping this taco tradition going.

I said, now what?

He said, tacos, hamburger, helper or struggle.

Man's meal.

And we didn't have the money, so that's why we got it.

Yeah.

You couldn't tell me nothing?

Tell me that all J. I'm going on 40.

I'm going on 40.

You know what we gonna have once a week?

Tacos.

You know why we gonna have tacos?

Because I like the taste.

It didn't have nothing to do with the price of it?

No.

And that when he said it, of course I said, like I said earlier, I'm gonna talk my noise.

That's who I am.

But I didn't know that.

And as a kid, you don't know what you're paying attention to.

And the great.

The.

The crazy thing.

Not the great thing.

The crazy thing about being a dad is if I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, what I don't realize is I'm showing you something that you gonna keep going long after.

Yeah, I'm here.

Or not.

Yeah, I'm gonna keep this thing going.

My dad started Taco Saturday.

Every Saturday night, we were eating taco, we watch Apollo.

Then Flavor tv.

If you ain't old enough, you don't know about that.

You don't know about that flavor tv.

But.

But we.

We watching Apollo.

We watching Flavor tv.

But now it's just one night a week.

I don't have a designated night.

I just have a night where we're doing tacos.

And as a dad, if I'm doing things correctly, they're going to continue to do what I showed them, what I told them, and it has nothing to do with anything outside of I'm your daddy.

Yeah, for real, bro.

Not it.

Because, you know, the crazy thing is, the funny thing is, is, like, my mom, her thing was she cooked stew at least once, you know, a week.

And I still do that to this day.

Dominique.

Like, I might cook a stew tomorrow, but I know for a fact, if anything fails, we cooking the stew.

Like you putting all your corn, your green beans, like you putting everything in there.

Right?

But it's just some fact that those traditions.

You know, it's not to say that, like you said earlier, because I know for a fact my mom was struggling.

You know what I'm saying?

But at the end of the day, I didn't know she was.

Shoot.

We had food on the table.

Shoot.

Now, shoot.

One of my favorite meals.

Mom, what you cooking?

I'm cooking stupid.

All right, I'm.

Come on, grab a bowl.

Because I know for a face and be hidden.

You know what I'm saying, but fellas, that's listening out there, it don't matter, you know what I'm saying?

Because your kids pay attention to you without you knowing.

So for us as parents, we just got to make sure we're doing the right thing.

You know what I'm saying?

And not saying that, you know, you do anything wrong, but it's just some fact that you making sure that your kids, they are looking up to you, you know, they are paying attention.

Because why they gonna be you, you know, within a few years, you know, they're gonna be doing some of the things that you see.

Because I know for a fact my daddy see me.

He look at me and I do some of the stuff that he do.

He probably just be laughing or smiling because why, hey, man, I used to do that when I was your age.

And you don't pay attention.

And I'm not, I. I'm not about to be the spokesperson on telling you not to smoke weed.

I'm going to be honest with you in my free time.

I like it.

I'm not going to be the spokesperson to tell you not to drink alcohol in my free time.

I like it.

I like it.

So.

And you getting freaky with your, your girlfriend, your wife, that's your thing.

But you have to remember I got kids.

And for me, just because I like it.

Yeah.

Don't mean I need to show you.

Right.

Exactly.

And.

And when it comes to being a parent, and a lot of y' all already know this, a couple of y' all are learning it, but when it comes to being a parent, I just got to reemphasize.

Your kids are paying attention even when you don't know they're paying attention.

Quick, quick story time.

Go ahead, Dominique.

The reason I have my child full time, number one, the her mom's boyfriend, husband, whatever he is to her, was putting his hands on her.

But the first thing she presented to me when she was five years old was, he's doing.

He.

She didn't know what it was, but it was.

He's doing this green stuff in front of me and rolling it up and putting white stuff with it.

It's drugs.

That's drugs.

That's drugs.

And that was the end of it for me.

Not saying him putting his hands on a wouldn't wasn't enough as it is.

But you add in drugs.

Hold on.

That means y' all don't care what you're doing in front of my child?

No, you don't give a damn.

And for me, a lot of what we talked about on the last segment, you getting your.

Your long time where you can collect your mental thoughts, where I can just be me.

That's when I do what I want to do.

Yeah.

Because I can't tell you what to do.

I can't.

Weed, alcohol, drugs, do your thing, Sit in the corner.

Whatever it is that's on you.

Do you boo boo.

Do you boo boo.

But your kids don't deserve to see that.

Yeah, Because I don't want to take away your innocence.

No.

And then it's funny you said that because, Dominique, I grew up different, Dominic.

I've seen a lot of stuff growing up, you know what I'm saying?

And I don't.

I don't want my kids to see the stuff that I seen growing up.

Not saying that.

You know what I'm saying?

The situation that I was in, they was wrong.

But it's just simple fact.

No, it's not a place for a kid to be in.

And like, one things that I don't do, like, I really don't smoke in front of my kid.

I like to smoke, Dominique, you know what I'm saying?

But the thing is, like, I don't want that to be in your mental.

Yes.

You know what I'm saying?

Like.

Like I might drink, but at the same time, I really don't drink in front of my kids.

Like that.

But it's just simple fact that.

You know what they say?

Cold.

No, I forgot the saying.

The drinks are flowing us.

Oh, out of sight, out of sight, out of mind.

Out of sight, out of mind.

You know what I'm saying?

Because it's big bro.

Because if I don't see it, it's not in your head.

I don't know.

You know what I'm saying?

So fellas, like, you do your thing.

Yes, you.

You know what I'm saying?

But at the same time, like, I'm gonna keep saying this over and over and over.

Like your kids are watching.

They are paying attention to you.

Like they really are.

And you might not think about it and you might have a team that, that.

That's being a teenager to the point where they just.

Not.

They just kind of being rebellious in your eyes, but at the same time, they still paying attention to daddy.

Like, because I know for a fact, like, my.

My oldest, they always paying attention to me.

Like, they watch me every move, what I put on.

They be telling me I don't.

I don't be dressing fly.

Like they watching, like, from the clothes, everything.

Like they watching from the Dominique from the clothes to the haircut.

Like when you need a hurt.

Like when you need a haircut.

Like, Jay, I went through a breakup.

I went through a breakup for a whole year.

Yeah.

My two daughters was my stylist.

Like, I put on clothes cause I'm grown.

Yeah, you're grown.

I've been putting on clothes my whole life.

Yeah.

Grown as hell.

Don't eat.

But all of a sudden.

All of a sudden, you can't dress, though, now.

All of a sudden that I'm single, my daughters took it upon themselves, like, nah, daddy, you need to put this on with that, and you need to put this on with that.

I don't like that outfit.

You need to put this on with that.

And them shoes you got on, you can throw them away.

Yeah, yeah.

Don't need my kid.

They'll come to me like.

Like you think you fly.

Like, I. I know I'm flying.

You know what I'm saying?

I know I look good, but the thing is, they.

They watching, man.

They are really paying attention to everything.

Because I kid you not.

Like, I watched my daddy.

Like, I told you, my dad's my hero.

So I watched my daddy every move.

I kind of wanted to be like him.

So it's just like I watched how he.

You know, how he moved.

Like, you know how he dressed.

Like, my dad used to put that on Dominique and like, cologne.

Like, that's where I got all this stuff from.

So, like, when my boys go out, like, hey, bro, we got to go out fly.

You know what I'm saying?

Because that's just.

That's just me.

That's just how I grew up.

But see, I grew up the opposite.

And I'm not gonna lie and give her her flowers.

Now, my woman pulled me out of it, but I grew up with the daddy that had so much confidence in.

Him, he didn't care.

Yeah.

So he wore sweats every day.

And then pull on shirt with it.

As long as it match, we good, straight and so forth.

For me, shout out to Coach Pete.

That's always been my.

That's always been my thought process.

Like, as long as I'm matching, I'm all right.

Yeah.

And you.

You realize something as.

As a.

A dad.

Yeah.

You realize that the same way I paid attention to everything my dad did, and I'm picking up on his traits.

Not because I want to, right?

No.

Because that daddy.

Yeah, that's daddy.

That's my daddy right there.

And this.

This the crazy thing you said, shout out to Coach P. As his son, I Don't even say daddy.

I say coach.

Hey, coach.

That was good, Coach.

And I'm paying attention to everything.

You step out your room, and I see you got sweats on with a T shirt.

And then I see everybody talking about you because all you wear is sweats.

And I see your response is, but I look good and move on.

Well, guess what?

Your son is saying when he grew old, the same thing.

And it's.

I'm.

I'm on everything that you own.

And as a dad, it's.

It's.

It's two things from it that you really have to pay attention to.

And the first is the most important to me.

The first is I know you're watching me, but are you picking up on my bad traits?

And the.

The second one is, I know you're watching me.

I like it.

Yeah.

I like you copying everything I do.

Yeah.

But if the first one don't hit.

Yeah.

Then the rest of it is going into what we heard growing up.

You got that baby growing up way too fast.

Yeah.

And you don't realize what it is until you deal with your own kids.

And my thing is, I saw.

I smoke vapes.

Yeah.

I gonna see it on video.

Yeah.

I smoke base.

That's what I do.

Me too.

And it wasn't until I saw my son pick it up.

Smoking right now, in fact.

But it wasn't until I saw my son pick it up and was like, daddy, this thing you smoke on.

Whoa, Time out.

How you know that?

Right?

Right, Right.

You know what I mean?

How you know that?

I'm still teaching you how to read, right?

I'm still teaching you how to do mad.

I'm still teaching you how to play basketball.

I'm still teaching you a whole lot of things about life.

But you can come to.

To me and ask me how I'm smoking on this thing here.

How do you even know about this thing here?

Well, you know about this thinker because daddy is doing it in front of you.

Yeah.

I'm not doing the weed, so I'm not.

I can't sit here and point the finger, act like all these dad.

What they call them.

Hypocrites.

Hypocrites.

Because I can't.

I can't get on you when, bro, I'm doing the wrong thing too.

Cause my son let me know.

This is what you smoke on, right?

Yeah.

So I do.

Do I put it to my lips?

Yeah.

Like, how do you do it?

Yeah.

What you do is you put it down instead of talking to me.

If I knock your Head between the washing and dry.

Look, look, look.

The fun thing is for you, like, my boys know for a fact, like, look, because I don't.

I don't like to leave it around.

You know what I'm saying?

I don't like to leave it around in a.

In a sight vision or whatever, so I kind of keep it in my pocket.

But I ain't gonna lie, I do hit the vape in front of them and stuff like that.

You know what I'm saying?

But the same time, I try not to keep it around, and so, you know, they won't see it just lingering, right?

But look, fellas.

Hey, man, this.

This.

This right here, this episode is.

Hey, man, we need to put.

We need to put a five on this one, bro, because this right here is kind of lit.

It is, it is.

Ain't gonna lie to you.

Hey, this one's kind of lit, don't.

It is.

It's kind of lit.

Hey, look, y' all know, every time, you know, on this show, we switch topics.

Y' all should know by now, like, it ain't even a thought.

Y' all already know.

I. I know y' all got your glasses, you know, your shot glasses right next to you.

Just go ahead and just join in with us and go ahead and take this shot.

Dominique.

This shot.

Yes, sir.

All right, listen, listen, listen.

Oh, oh, listen.

Oh, oh, it's that time.

Oh, hold on, Dominique.

Let me get the clap.

I gotta get the claps up.

Hold on.

I gotta get the claps in.

Let me see.

Did you clap come in?

They didn't even come in this time.

Inside.

It's all right.

They know what it is.

I'm gonna figure it out.

They.

They know what it is.

It's that time.

It's barbershop talk.

Yes, barbershop.

Barbershop talk.

Let's get it, Dominique.

All right, so listen.

Claps, bro.

I need your claps.

Listen in.

In a time, I saw this from another podcast, and this.

This ain't nothing, but it ain't copying.

It's giving a.

A.

That was a good topic, so I need to bring it up.

Give him a shout out, bro.

Give my shout out.

Shout out.

Shout out to Jeff Teague in his podcast.

Y' all doing your thing.

Hey, for sure.

But listen, they had a topic on there that I like.

Oh, that Alcohol getting to me.

I apologize.

He ain't gonna lie to you.

Yeah, I found it.

I'm give you one more.

You go.

Ain't nobody gonna complain about the applause now.

But they had A topic on.

Gay.

Yeah, but hold on.

What segment is.

Dominique, did you tell them what segment this is?

This is barbershop.

One more time for the clap.

But they had a segment on gay.

And they had a segment on everything that.

That the world.

I think.

I think I saw that, bro.

So they were talking about everything that the world calls gay.

And I feel that a lot of the.

The.

The sayings that they.

They read off were from women because we.

We come in a time where everybody calls everything gay.

So I wanted to present it with you to you, but I didn't want to present it how they did.

They had the top 40 from what the Internet said.

But you deal with everyday life.

Yeah, I do.

You deal with a woman every day.

I do.

You deal with women.

Yeah, every day.

And you deal with dudes who just look for something to call gay every day.

Yeah.

So junior in.

In.

In 2025.

Yeah.

In this day and age, especially being with.

When you grew up with me.

So we used to call everything gay.

Everything.

If you hug a man, you gay.

Yeah.

All right, so in your.

Your.

Your humble opinion, two things.

Number one is what the world calling gay actually gay.

And the second thing is, what do you actually call that?

What do you actually agree with on the things that they call gay?

All right, first of all, look, do a lot of people know the definition of gay?

The definition of gay is happy, bro.

You know, you just happy.

You know what I'm saying?

What we not gonna do back to.

We was at talking about gave me happy.

You know exactly what I'm talking about.

I'm just saying.

But you saying my point of view.

I'm saying for like, gave me happy.

Right?

So hold on, but what was the other.

What was the other other part you said?

All right, the first thing is, do you agree with everything that they're calling you?

I don't even think I said it like that the first time.

But everything that they're calling gay.

Yeah.

Do you agree with it?

And the second thing was, do you actually.

Or what do you agree with that is actually gay in your eyes?

Okay, but what's the example of.

Because it's a lot of stuff out there.

All right, so I'll give you one example.

Okay, one example is.

And I know this coming from a woman, a man who cannot cook is gay.

Or.

Or a man who does not.

Does not know how to change a tire is gay.

Because that's not man.

So come on.

But hold on.

But the first part, the cooking part, bro, I gotta eat.

I don't give a damn.

Like you can come and get how you want to, bro.

Like, especially if you got single fathers out there, like, you gotta eat.

So how is that gay if, if you, you can't cook?

It sound like noodles to me, bro.

What?

That microwave what cooking to me.

Air fry.

Air fry.

Come on.

But changing the tie, man, your dad just didn't raise you right.

I just gotta say that.

But, but see this, this is me and being on both sides of the fence.

Because you're correct and I agree with you.

Your daddy, your mama, or whoever knows about cars should have have you coming out.

And at the very least, what you should know about your car is how to change the tire.

Yeah, you sit in the trunk, you sit in the car in the backseat.

But to hear a woman call me gay because I don't know how to do such and such.

And when you turn it around and ask that woman, well, can you cook?

Yeah.

Can you cook?

Can you cook?

Do you know how to actually clean?

Right?

I'm not talking about putting stuff away.

Nah, because.

Because somebody taught me something as a kid.

JR yeah.

You know your house ain't clean until you clean the baseboards?

Yeah, I ain't never thought about that until you look down at the baseballs after you sweep the him out.

Yeah.

You see that dust going around the corner?

Look, I ain't going to lie.

Look, ain't.

Look, I ain't going to lie.

I forget him.

I see him, I still forget him.

I think that's just the man part of me.

But, but that, but that, that what I'm saying though, as quickly as you are coming in to tell me I'm gay or less of a man, cuz I don't know how to change a tire.

Well, do you know how to cook?

You know how to clean?

Yeah.

Let's go.

Let's, let's.

Let's play Tiffany for tat.

That's what they call it.

That's that I'm.

And I'm weedy.

Look, I gotta ask you something, cuz.

He said something on the show too that was funny though.

He said if you wave with both hands.

Is that gay?

Is that gay?

Listen, listen, it's.

It's a couple of things that we've been made a fun of that was our whole life.

And I want y' all to get, get something real quick.

And we should have started this.

I should have started this.

I said we.

Me.

I should have started this segment.

Listen, there is no homophobia over here.

Nah.

What we.

What you're dealing with or what you're listening to right now is dudes who grew up in the old time.

Yeah, we did.

Where I could call something gay and leave it at that, because.

Which I may not know is we have family members.

Yeah, we do.

And close friends.

We do.

That are gay.

Yeah.

So what you choose is what you choose.

Right.

There's no judgmental zone here.

What's it.

What's that?

What's that?

That.

That social media topic that was going around.

We listen, and we don't do it.

Listen.

We listen and we don't judge.

And see, for us, when y' all come over here, y' all gonna realize something.

We talk plenty, but we don't judge plenty.

And for me, because you like the same six, and I don't.

That gives me ammo to talk.

Yeah.

And for me, just me.

I'm just letting you know, a dude that can't change a tire.

I understand.

You can talk about that woman who can't cook or clean.

Yeah.

But if you can't change a tire, you may want to check into that gay school as they teach them gay dudes how to change the tire.

Because should no grown man.

Yeah.

Need somebody to help them to change the time.

Unless.

It's only one reason, junior.

It's only one reason.

Okay.

What's that?

The tow truck is here.

Yeah.

And he's doing it.

Yeah.

Outside of that.

Yeah.

Your woman should be able to call.

You and come saying that to change the tire.

Because I learned that when I was.

Like, 16, though, Jerry.

It just.

It just.

It's just a couple of lugs.

That's it.

If you got all the equipment in the.

In.

In the trunk, I mean, you.

You got to be able to.

Now, the.

The.

The part I struggle on.

I've been changing tires since I was 17 years old.

The part you struggle with is actually pushing the.

The jack to the correct spot.

Yeah.

Cause you can up that frame.

Oh, James.

I didn't beat one of them.

I didn't meant it, bro.

I came.

I came.

I can't.

I think I bent it, too.

I almost came through the.

The.

The.

The car.

What is it?

I don't even know what it's called.

The body of the car.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It went on the frame.

There it is.

The frame.

I almost came through the frame.

When you see.

When you see that middle popping out, it ain't the spot.

I need to find a new spot.

Wrong spot right there.

I need to make sure I find the frame with a little gap.

Now it's Playing times, bro, I didn't like, I didn't change quite a few times.

So let me, Let me ask you something, because I can't say you're getting canceled.

Yeah.

Because if you get canceled, we get canceled.

So at this point, it ain't.

I ain't even giving a damn.

We just gonna.

We.

We having a talking segment, right?

That's what we doing.

You said.

All right, this bottle shot.

So question.

For me.

I got the question of junior in this, this day and age, where you have more of the rainbow community, okay, The ABC committee.

Yeah.

Abcb, OG Coming in and having a problem with people calling it out, do you still feel like it is okay to call out what you think is quote unquote, gay?

It's fine.

I think it should be, you know what I'm saying?

Because why, if it.

I, I don't have nothing against that community, you know what I'm saying?

I was just speaking from what, like you said earlier, you said, you know, you said to the point where, look, we grew up in the age where, well, we didn't see this, you know what I'm saying?

To this, to this magnitude.

Right Then too, we called it gay and we left it.

What it was like, it wasn't like no hard feelings to the point where, like, we harp on it, then we going against him putting a raise of Raid and all that.

Nah, it is gay is what it is.

Us.

You know what I'm saying?

But.

But with that thought process, what about the white people who feel like we was just making a black joke or just saying in the joking manner?

Yeah, but that's the thing though, Dominique.

Goes both ways, right?

So my thing is.

All right, cool.

If you can say that, I can say this.

You know what I'm saying?

It's a, it's a, it's a, A fine line, right?

It's a line that we.

Look at that we, we see.

Yeah, we, we.

We see the line and like, we gonna cross the line and go full fledged to the point where we just hate what's going on?

No, that's not us.

Like you said at the beginning, bro, like, we have members, family members, we have friends.

Like, like we associate with the community, you know what I'm saying?

But, you know, we're involved in the community.

But it's a simple fact that, you know, if, if I'm.

This is a, a country, it should be freedom of speech.

Dominique, you know, saying freedom of speech to the point where I can say.

How I feel and I'm with you.

You know what I'm saying?

So I should be able to say how I feel.

But then two, not to the point where I'm, you know, not trying to, like, demolish you as an equal.

Right?

Oh, man.

You know what I'm saying?

Because you can say something to me and you go left, like.

But for me, I'm just saying somehow I feel.

I'm not saying something to discriminate you or to, you know, to, you know, to turn your feelings down.

No, I'm just saying how I feel.

You got to accept my feelings how I accept yours, you know?

Because if you have something to say, I have to be able to listen to you.

Because why?

That's how you feel now?

You got to listen to how I feel.

If I think that's gay.

All right, cool, bro.

It's gay.

It's just.

It is what it is.

Hey, you want a shot?

You want to drink?

But it's just how I feel, you know what I'm saying?

And.

And for me, I think it goes back into.

Do you remember we lived in a time where body shaming was a thing?

Oh, yeah, for sure.

Because we talked about fat people.

We talked about overly skinny people.

We talked about everything.

And we were allowed to talk about it.

And the reason we were allowed to talk about it was because it was acceptable.

It was.

And if you were a big woman, guess what?

When you came out in public, I was allowed to call you a big.

Woman and call you fat.

Call you fat.

Call you fat.

You just fat.

Yeah, you just big.

I remember growing up JR and you've known me since I was 7 or 8.

So, you know, I was the chunky kid.

And I remember being in a household.

Excuse me.

Where my daddy called.

He talked about me.

He talked about me.

I was a basketball player.

Yeah.

Excuse me again.

I was a basketball player.

And he talked about me to the point where it wasn't about, I'm trying to hurt your feelings.

It was about telling you the truth.

So not only did he call me Chunky D, he let me know that because of, like, something simple.

The way I played today.

Hey, your name should be Aminique.

What do you mean?

Because you have no.

Dude, you don't play any type of D. And as a kid, it hurt my feelings.

Not gonna lie to you, Jared.

It hurt my feelings.

But you know what it did after it hurt my feelings?

Let me know the truth.

You know what I gotta do next game?

Play defense.

Play defense.

Or if you calling me Chunky D, you know what they let me know?

I need to go out there and run and lose some weight.

I need to lose some weight.

And I feel like we've come.

We're coming into a time where we're trying to save everybody's feelings and we're forgetting that talking about you saved you.

Prime example.

And I promise I shut up.

The rest of the stuff, the rest of the show, J.R. you can have it.

I remember it was seventh grade.

Seventh grade.

We're having morning practice for basketball.

Well, in that time when we could speak about gay and everything else, little boys didn't want to be around each other naked.

I'm not taking no shower.

At the break, putting these clothes on.

I'm headed to class.

Well, the problem was I sat next to a girl I had a crush on, and she sat next to me because I was the class clown.

Yeah.

I'm the funny guy.

Yeah.

So we.

We match made in heaven.

I like looking at you.

You like listening to me?

Yeah, we.

We together.

We good.

Well, this day, I came into class after a good practice, and she had that.

Do you remember that Chris Tucker in Craig face when they saw his.

They homeboy get hit and they saw that black eye.

Damn.

She had that look, JR and the words came out of her mouth was, you stank.

Well, let me.

Let me let y' all in on a little secret.

My entire life until that point, all I remember hearing was my dad and my mama tell me I look like Ned the wano dude off of.

What was it?

Kid Dynamite.

What was it?

Dynamite.

Good time.

Good time.

Yeah, good time.

So they called me.

They called me ne the from Good times or they let me know every day you stank.

Your shoes stank, your body stink, your room stink.

But everything.

Everything st.

But you know, as a kid, you know what you don't want to hear is your parents telling you you st trying to hear that, man, I'm moving on.

Came into that classroom, she had that look and said, you stink.

You know, my kid, my parents didn't ever have to worry about again.

Stanking, man, please.

I'm taking an hour shower.

The first 30 minutes is nothing but hot water to burn the dirt off.

The next 30 minutes, I'm scrubbing the whole time.

Hey, look, Dominique, I mean to cut you off, but look, that's just like somebody telling you ugly, you know what I'm saying?

Because why you ain't gonna forget that?

Catch your feelings?

Because if you can tell me, I.

Look, I can barely tell you how I feel, too.

Like you said at the beginning, like, we ain't got nothing against what you got going on.

If you have, if you allow to express how you feel.

I'm allowed to express how I feel.

You know what I'm saying?

So if you tell me I'm looking, I'm telling you, you fat, big, ugly.

Green, whatever her nappy, whatever it is.

You know what I'm saying?

So that's when he started to segment.

It's like, we ain't got nothing against what you got going on, but if you want to speak your mind, let me speak mine.

And I'm allowed to call you out.

Yeah.

And that, that, that to me is why I like, love comedy.

And for me, I don't like TV either.

I remember you said earlier in the story, you don't like tv.

I don't either.

But if it's a standup, oh yeah, I turn it on.

If it's a movie, that's comedy.

I turn it on cuz I like to laugh.

But what you learn in stand up, what you learn in them comedy movies is they were allowed to talk about whoever's around them.

And it's not so much I'm worried about your feelings being hurt.

I'm more worried about you correcting what's wrong.

So if I come into the house and say, hey bro, you forgot to brush your hair.

A little nappy headed.

Yeah.

Now what?

J.R. know, I may not do it right now because I'm grown.

Yeah.

But the next time you come around, guess what you're gonna see.

My hair is brushed.

And it's the same when I call you fat.

Yeah.

Guess what's gonna happen?

You're gonna hit that gym.

And as much as I have no problem with you living life how you want to, I know it's wrong.

I know Junior was created the same reason Caprina was created.

And that was to get together to procreate.

That is to procreate another human being to keep this thing going on.

So if it's two men or two women, how do you create something?

Yeah.

You can't.

It's wrong.

So what I should be able to do?

Just make a joke about it.

Hey, hey, brother, you like penis?

Do you think?

Do your thing.

Do you?

Boo boo.

But you know, you know what I gotta do?

I gotta talk about you.

I'm talking, I gotta talk about you.

And I'm just gonna let out a little joke.

Yeah, okay.

But the thing is, you got to be able to suck the joke.

Because if you can, if you can joke to me, I should really be very joke with you.

And that's it.

That's it.

That's all I'm trying to do.

I'm just trying to joke with you.

It's a simple joke.

All right, Listen, listen, listen.

Last topic of the barbershop before we.

We end it.

Yes, sir.

And talk to y' all next week.

Yes, sir.

This topic in barbershop is going to be a little different than any other topic in barbershop.

The gloves off, but we still got to tell the truth.

I'm going to read.

Use this to hype up my guy.

Okay.

I'm gonna use this to hype up my brother.

Yeah.

And I'm gonna use it until I get tired of using it.

Just going to give your roses, bro.

What are you talking about?

You deserve your roses.

What are you talking about, bro?

This is my.

We're here today.

We're here any day.

Because this is your thought process.

This was something you came up with.

This is something you thought the world needed.

And as much as I fought it, this is something the world needed.

Not just the world.

Me.