Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Wedding Lounge podcast. This week we are
thinking about ways to make the planning fun. Yes. Because it can be horrendously stressful and
overwhelming if you let it become that, if you let it turn into a beast, it really can become a beast
and so many clients when you're taking them on that journey, they start off really, really flustered
and all you want to do is give them a massive hug and be like, this is supposed to be exciting,
it's supposed to be fun, this is going towards the best day of your life so far. Yeah, definitely
and I think there's so much to think about that it can feel overwhelming and also we have had our
episode before on decision fatigue when there's so many different decisions to make that you can end
up not making any. So the day we're kind of developing on that I guess by talking about how to
how to make it fun, not just how to get over the overwhelm but how to actually go beyond that
and make it enjoyable, not just bearable and I think the important thing is to start like this.
Yes, so before you really get into the planning or as much as you can if you're already in the
planning and you're finding yourself overwhelmed, stop take-be and think about how you're going to
take it moving forwards and change the way you're doing it because it can take over you.
I think becoming your entire personality and nobody wants to be that one person who all they
can talk about is their wedding. Definitely and I think the key thing to think about first of all
is breaking it down into small chunks. This helps you with the decision fatigue and the general
overwhelm but then when you're actually having those, you know, we said about in our previous
episode, setting aside a certain time or week, you have to be able to talk about planning.
Once you've set those aside, you know, what is your achieving in that time? How can you make those
actual moments fun? And I think the first thing first is do something that you enjoy. So if you enjoy
having a glass of wine and a bar of chocolate, then have a glass of wine and a bar of chocolate
whilst you're thinking about your musicians or booking your photographer on those moments where you
have set aside who tackles certain tasks. Make it one enjoyable. Yeah, do it over a meal. Yeah.
Well, I'll see you can go bowling if you're into that. Go playing a like game of Fathers,
going to suggest that seems to be the massive in thing in the minute, but it's a little hard
to do stuff. Fellow. Fair. But if you are just trying to have conversations and come to some
conclusions about things you've already researched, doing something where you're out and about
go for a walk. Yeah, you know, go to the gym together, find something that you both enjoy doing,
get yourselves out and give yourselves a dopamine hit. Yeah, it doesn't have to be sat round
a kitchen table with paperwork and spreadsheets. No, this goes against my grain because I'm mine now.
That's enjoyable. Yeah, that's enjoyable for me as a spreadsheet, but if it's not, then do something
enjoyable where you can talk about the things that go for a Sunday lunch and while you're waiting
for your meal to come say, right, while we're waiting for the food, we're going to just have a little
chat about the photographers that we've spoken to this week. Yeah. Now speaking of a dopamine hit,
I'm going to bring in my parenting starter this one. And this morning, obviously, it's a Monday
today. We were doing the weekend's homework in the car on the way to school. I hope none of my children's
teachers listen, but my middle child hates doing her homework. And I said to her, right, if you do
five questions and after your five questions, you can choose a song to put on the car. And I think
the couples need to give themselves treats for and they need to celebrate the win. So when they book
to supply, it gets really tricky because obviously there's a lot of things to do, but when you have booked
something or done something towards your wedding, this monumental, if yourself's a treat, a pat on the
back, something that's going to make you feel really good about what you have just achieved. And
decide that before you set about doing the task, if you're really struggling to get on with the
task, say, right, when we have achieved this, we're going to go and get an ice cream or we're going
to go to the cinema or anything that you enjoy doing together that you can celebrate what you
have just achieved. Definitely, it just gives you that motivation, doesn't it, that something that
you maybe aren't thrilled about doing. I mean, you obviously want to end result with your wedding.
You want to, that's opening throughout the process. So if it's going to be something that you look
forward to and it just gives you a bit more motivation to make those decisions, tack that task on that day,
then do it. Yeah. I think as well, like we both talk about it regularly, how your wedding should be
your personality, it should express who you are as a couple. And I think if you bring that side of it
into the planning, yeah. So when you're researching the supplies, fine supplies that fit that by,
what is you are trying to achieve from the day, which 99% of couples do. Yeah. But bring your
personality to the table. Well, if you are literally injecting your personality into your day, those
decisions should be fun. So instead of thinking, oh my gosh, we've got to do the seating plan.
If you've got a seating plan, that I really wanted to do this and I was in two minds when I got married
about whether to go sort of seasonal with my decor and things or I love travel. You don't have
like a seating plan where it's like a luggage tag or something. And doing when you're injecting
yourself like your personalities into the day, then creating those quite big tasks of doing a
seating plan is more fun. If you're like, oh my gosh, yeah, we could have seven said there and
their table could be called JFK and their table could be called LH, whatever you want to have
as your tables, it should ring in some personality and make it more fun, not just who's on table one.
Okay, like who's on, you know, yeah, it's just something and you can go, oh my gosh, yes, we'll put
soons on that table because they're going to have together. Yeah, because they love that or they've
both traveled to Australia. So we're going to put them on that table, you know, just bringing in your
uniqueness as much as possible. That would make those elements more enjoyable to plan, I think. Yeah,
I agree. I also think that couples tend to take on this responsibility and they feel like they've
got to each other. Yeah. So they're not doing it alone. But sometimes doing it just the two of you
can be quite overwhelmed. So bringing friends and family in to get involved can help lighten the
load. I think the table planning is another really good opportunity to bring your parents or your
friends in. If you bring a couple of people into that space who know quite a few of the groups,
yeah, it can take that absolute pressure away from you and away from how you are feeling about,
oh my god, we've got to see 120 people and they've all got to get on with each other. And if you're
like me, you'll have a laugh. Thinking about the people that, oh my god, imagine to be put so-and-so
and so-and-so. Yeah. And then, you know, it's how much more fun would it be to sit and do it with a
whole group of people like people that you get on with as a couple, like bring your inner circle and
your best man and your maid of honour. Things like that, people that are, you're nearest and
dearest or your mum's can help you with the flowers. Yeah, like Kelly from Creative Bright, who came
one a few months ago. She was saying how, you know, when she's doing sessions with her couples,
where they are making something, for example, quite often a bride may have got her bridesmaids with her,
isn't it? They're all, you know, the bride's not just making origami flowers. Her bridesmaids are there,
so that part of the process, instead of being like a laborious task, where she's like, oh my goodness,
I've got to make 100. You know, there's five or six of you, you've even got to make like 20 or
a few people are very good at doing that towards the end of the process. Yeah. When they're sort of like
setting up for the day, the bridesmaids, the bride of part of the ushers all come down a couple of days
early and they have a really lovely time together in those few days, but they can do that the whole
way through. There's no reason that it just needs to be you and your partner. Yeah. Doing all of this
on your own. Definitely. And I think also as well as sharing the tasks between friends and family,
make sure you're sharing them between the two of you. Mm-hmm. As well. And having some sort of
document or a way, you know, even if it's a big pinboard on your wall, where you like put a big sticker
or a tick off when something's done so that you can see what's being done and who's doing what, you know,
maybe have green for the jobs that your partner's doing and yellow for the part jobs that you're doing,
like I mean, well, my mind instantly went very down the line, pink jobs, glue jobs. Yeah, I know,
I was trying really hard to take a colour. Yeah. And you know, depend, you know, all the colours of
your wedding, but you know, so you have, yeah, you have that one colour is partner one's job, one
colour's partner two jobs, one colour could be mum's job. Yes, exactly. So you could make a display
so that even like your list keeping you on track is fun and visually appealing. Yeah.
Yeah. Now add it to your calendar. Yeah. And schedule those times and try not to take it outside
of that time. Yeah. If you are really struggling with it, you're coming in an overwhelming,
laborious task. Schedule those moments and don't discuss outside of that, don't let it take over
your lives because it should be fun and it should be lovely, but it is overwhelming. It is a huge task,
it's a lot of potentially a lot of money that you are spending and saving and putting towards things,
and it's a lot of organisation and I think everyone feels the pressure. It's just knowing how best
to deal with that. And definitely and I think I found it a lot recently, quite a few people I've been
working with are indecisive. And if you really are not, I mean my husband's the worst, he's like,
I don't mind, I don't mind and that really bugs me because then I'm sure to make the decision.
He's right. I'm shocked. I know that. Yeah. To help the decision for teak, if there is something where
you just really don't, you know, it might even just be like what colour napkins is it, this colour
from your colour scheme or this colour? Like literally, I mean, going back to my doorstep.
It would be meaning minding my or something, you know, just or draw it out of a hat or something,
you know, it doesn't have to be. All the decisions don't have to be seriously thought out, yes,
your photographer, your florist, your venue, your food, you know, they seem to be considered,
but some of the smaller details instead of getting lost in overwhelm and really over analysing
how they are, I don't know if it's fun with it. Yeah. You know, or whoever wins this game.
Well, there you go. There's a paddle can come in. Yeah, whoever wins the paddle game gets to choose
the reading or something, you know, if you're debating between two at your own different teams or
get a turn into a drinking game if you want, so every time, you know, a planning session and every
time someone says, "we're doing" or something, you have to do a short, you know, just make it fun.
Yeah. Whatever fun is to you. Now, fun to me is spreadsheets and ticking things off the list.
I get a real out of that. A lot of news is going into it. Yeah, exactly. But running race. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, whoever, whoever pretzels each other first gets it. Yeah, I think so. I don't know. I don't know,
I don't know. I've never actually raced against Jamie properly. That I do for an episode. No,
but no, just as well as just tackling that decision for teague, don't just make it okay,
and like a mundane task, not a stressful task, oh, above and beyond, make it something you actually
look forward to doing. Yes. Yeah, like date night. Exactly, exactly. So it hasn't been a very long
episode today, but hopefully it's been useful and just gives you some ideas of how to make the process
more enjoyable. Next week, we've got another fantastic guest on. So to make sure that you do not miss
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