1
00:00:24,345 --> 00:00:30,825
 Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Wedding Lounge podcast. This week we are

2
00:00:30,825 --> 00:00:39,865
 thinking about ways to make the planning fun. Yes. Because it can be horrendously stressful and

3
00:00:39,865 --> 00:00:46,185
 overwhelming if you let it become that, if you let it turn into a beast, it really can become a beast

4
00:00:46,185 --> 00:00:51,385
 and so many clients when you're taking them on that journey, they start off really, really flustered

5
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:55,545
 and all you want to do is give them a massive hug and be like, this is supposed to be exciting,

6
00:00:55,545 --> 00:01:01,145
 it's supposed to be fun, this is going towards the best day of your life so far. Yeah, definitely

7
00:01:01,145 --> 00:01:06,665
 and I think there's so much to think about that it can feel overwhelming and also we have had our

8
00:01:06,665 --> 00:01:10,905
 episode before on decision fatigue when there's so many different decisions to make that you can end

9
00:01:10,905 --> 00:01:16,985
 up not making any. So the day we're kind of developing on that I guess by talking about how to

10
00:01:16,985 --> 00:01:22,985
 how to make it fun, not just how to get over the overwhelm but how to actually go beyond that

11
00:01:22,985 --> 00:01:29,145
 and make it enjoyable, not just bearable and I think the important thing is to start like this.

12
00:01:29,145 --> 00:01:33,865
 Yes, so before you really get into the planning or as much as you can if you're already in the

13
00:01:33,865 --> 00:01:39,545
 planning and you're finding yourself overwhelmed, stop take-be and think about how you're going to

14
00:01:39,545 --> 00:01:44,105
 take it moving forwards and change the way you're doing it because it can take over you.

15
00:01:44,105 --> 00:01:48,425
 I think becoming your entire personality and nobody wants to be that one person who all they

16
00:01:48,425 --> 00:01:52,825
 can talk about is their wedding. Definitely and I think the key thing to think about first of all

17
00:01:52,825 --> 00:01:58,505
 is breaking it down into small chunks. This helps you with the decision fatigue and the general

18
00:01:58,505 --> 00:02:04,025
 overwhelm but then when you're actually having those, you know, we said about in our previous

19
00:02:04,025 --> 00:02:08,185
 episode, setting aside a certain time or week, you have to be able to talk about planning.

20
00:02:08,185 --> 00:02:13,305
 Once you've set those aside, you know, what is your achieving in that time? How can you make those

21
00:02:13,305 --> 00:02:19,225
 actual moments fun? And I think the first thing first is do something that you enjoy. So if you enjoy

22
00:02:19,225 --> 00:02:24,425
 having a glass of wine and a bar of chocolate, then have a glass of wine and a bar of chocolate

23
00:02:24,425 --> 00:02:30,105
 whilst you're thinking about your musicians or booking your photographer on those moments where you

24
00:02:30,105 --> 00:02:35,785
 have set aside who tackles certain tasks. Make it one enjoyable. Yeah, do it over a meal. Yeah.

25
00:02:35,785 --> 00:02:40,825
 Well, I'll see you can go bowling if you're into that. Go playing a like game of Fathers,

26
00:02:40,825 --> 00:02:44,505
 going to suggest that seems to be the massive in thing in the minute, but it's a little hard

27
00:02:44,505 --> 00:02:50,585
 to do stuff. Fellow. Fair. But if you are just trying to have conversations and come to some

28
00:02:50,585 --> 00:02:54,585
 conclusions about things you've already researched, doing something where you're out and about

29
00:02:54,585 --> 00:03:01,785
 go for a walk. Yeah, you know, go to the gym together, find something that you both enjoy doing,

30
00:03:01,785 --> 00:03:07,465
 get yourselves out and give yourselves a dopamine hit. Yeah, it doesn't have to be sat round

31
00:03:07,465 --> 00:03:12,025
 a kitchen table with paperwork and spreadsheets. No, this goes against my grain because I'm mine now.

32
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:17,705
 That's enjoyable. Yeah, that's enjoyable for me as a spreadsheet, but if it's not, then do something

33
00:03:17,705 --> 00:03:23,705
 enjoyable where you can talk about the things that go for a Sunday lunch and while you're waiting

34
00:03:23,705 --> 00:03:27,625
 for your meal to come say, right, while we're waiting for the food, we're going to just have a little

35
00:03:27,625 --> 00:03:32,105
 chat about the photographers that we've spoken to this week. Yeah. Now speaking of a dopamine hit,

36
00:03:32,105 --> 00:03:37,865
 I'm going to bring in my parenting starter this one. And this morning, obviously, it's a Monday

37
00:03:37,865 --> 00:03:45,385
 today. We were doing the weekend's homework in the car on the way to school. I hope none of my children's

38
00:03:45,385 --> 00:03:51,385
 teachers listen, but my middle child hates doing her homework. And I said to her, right, if you do

39
00:03:51,385 --> 00:03:58,745
 five questions and after your five questions, you can choose a song to put on the car. And I think

40
00:03:58,745 --> 00:04:04,505
 the couples need to give themselves treats for and they need to celebrate the win. So when they book

41
00:04:04,505 --> 00:04:08,905
 to supply, it gets really tricky because obviously there's a lot of things to do, but when you have booked

42
00:04:08,905 --> 00:04:13,865
 something or done something towards your wedding, this monumental, if yourself's a treat, a pat on the

43
00:04:13,865 --> 00:04:18,745
 back, something that's going to make you feel really good about what you have just achieved. And

44
00:04:18,745 --> 00:04:23,785
 decide that before you set about doing the task, if you're really struggling to get on with the

45
00:04:23,785 --> 00:04:30,265
 task, say, right, when we have achieved this, we're going to go and get an ice cream or we're going

46
00:04:30,265 --> 00:04:35,305
 to go to the cinema or anything that you enjoy doing together that you can celebrate what you

47
00:04:35,305 --> 00:04:39,865
 have just achieved. Definitely, it just gives you that motivation, doesn't it, that something that

48
00:04:39,865 --> 00:04:44,105
 you maybe aren't thrilled about doing. I mean, you obviously want to end result with your wedding.

49
00:04:44,105 --> 00:04:48,985
 You want to, that's opening throughout the process. So if it's going to be something that you look

50
00:04:48,985 --> 00:04:57,545
 forward to and it just gives you a bit more motivation to make those decisions, tack that task on that day,

51
00:04:57,545 --> 00:05:05,065
 then do it. Yeah. I think as well, like we both talk about it regularly, how your wedding should be

52
00:05:05,065 --> 00:05:11,465
 your personality, it should express who you are as a couple. And I think if you bring that side of it

53
00:05:11,465 --> 00:05:16,745
 into the planning, yeah. So when you're researching the supplies, fine supplies that fit that by,

54
00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:24,585
 what is you are trying to achieve from the day, which 99% of couples do. Yeah. But bring your

55
00:05:24,585 --> 00:05:30,665
 personality to the table. Well, if you are literally injecting your personality into your day, those

56
00:05:30,665 --> 00:05:34,745
 decisions should be fun. So instead of thinking, oh my gosh, we've got to do the seating plan.

57
00:05:34,745 --> 00:05:41,385
 If you've got a seating plan, that I really wanted to do this and I was in two minds when I got married

58
00:05:41,385 --> 00:05:46,265
 about whether to go sort of seasonal with my decor and things or I love travel. You don't have

59
00:05:46,265 --> 00:05:51,225
 like a seating plan where it's like a luggage tag or something. And doing when you're injecting

60
00:05:51,225 --> 00:05:57,545
 yourself like your personalities into the day, then creating those quite big tasks of doing a

61
00:05:57,545 --> 00:06:01,705
 seating plan is more fun. If you're like, oh my gosh, yeah, we could have seven said there and

62
00:06:01,705 --> 00:06:07,065
 their table could be called JFK and their table could be called LH, whatever you want to have

63
00:06:07,065 --> 00:06:12,825
 as your tables, it should ring in some personality and make it more fun, not just who's on table one.

64
00:06:13,705 --> 00:06:18,185
 Okay, like who's on, you know, yeah, it's just something and you can go, oh my gosh, yes, we'll put

65
00:06:18,185 --> 00:06:22,585
 soons on that table because they're going to have together. Yeah, because they love that or they've

66
00:06:22,585 --> 00:06:27,865
 both traveled to Australia. So we're going to put them on that table, you know, just bringing in your

67
00:06:27,865 --> 00:06:33,385
 uniqueness as much as possible. That would make those elements more enjoyable to plan, I think. Yeah,

68
00:06:33,385 --> 00:06:38,505
 I agree. I also think that couples tend to take on this responsibility and they feel like they've

69
00:06:38,505 --> 00:06:43,385
 got to each other. Yeah. So they're not doing it alone. But sometimes doing it just the two of you

70
00:06:43,385 --> 00:06:50,665
 can be quite overwhelmed. So bringing friends and family in to get involved can help lighten the

71
00:06:50,665 --> 00:06:57,465
 load. I think the table planning is another really good opportunity to bring your parents or your

72
00:06:57,465 --> 00:07:02,345
 friends in. If you bring a couple of people into that space who know quite a few of the groups,

73
00:07:02,345 --> 00:07:08,585
 yeah, it can take that absolute pressure away from you and away from how you are feeling about,

74
00:07:08,585 --> 00:07:13,225
 oh my god, we've got to see 120 people and they've all got to get on with each other. And if you're

75
00:07:13,225 --> 00:07:17,545
 like me, you'll have a laugh. Thinking about the people that, oh my god, imagine to be put so-and-so

76
00:07:17,545 --> 00:07:22,265
 and so-and-so. Yeah. And then, you know, it's how much more fun would it be to sit and do it with a

77
00:07:22,265 --> 00:07:27,065
 whole group of people like people that you get on with as a couple, like bring your inner circle and

78
00:07:27,065 --> 00:07:31,945
 your best man and your maid of honour. Things like that, people that are, you're nearest and

79
00:07:31,945 --> 00:07:36,585
 dearest or your mum's can help you with the flowers. Yeah, like Kelly from Creative Bright, who came

80
00:07:36,585 --> 00:07:40,905
 one a few months ago. She was saying how, you know, when she's doing sessions with her couples,

81
00:07:40,905 --> 00:07:46,105
 where they are making something, for example, quite often a bride may have got her bridesmaids with her,

82
00:07:46,105 --> 00:07:51,225
 isn't it? They're all, you know, the bride's not just making origami flowers. Her bridesmaids are there,

83
00:07:51,225 --> 00:07:55,945
 so that part of the process, instead of being like a laborious task, where she's like, oh my goodness,

84
00:07:55,945 --> 00:08:01,385
 I've got to make 100. You know, there's five or six of you, you've even got to make like 20 or

85
00:08:01,385 --> 00:08:06,265
 a few people are very good at doing that towards the end of the process. Yeah. When they're sort of like

86
00:08:06,265 --> 00:08:10,505
 setting up for the day, the bridesmaids, the bride of part of the ushers all come down a couple of days

87
00:08:10,505 --> 00:08:15,465
 early and they have a really lovely time together in those few days, but they can do that the whole

88
00:08:15,465 --> 00:08:20,185
 way through. There's no reason that it just needs to be you and your partner. Yeah. Doing all of this

89
00:08:20,185 --> 00:08:26,105
 on your own. Definitely. And I think also as well as sharing the tasks between friends and family,

90
00:08:26,105 --> 00:08:32,345
 make sure you're sharing them between the two of you. Mm-hmm. As well. And having some sort of

91
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:38,425
 document or a way, you know, even if it's a big pinboard on your wall, where you like put a big sticker

92
00:08:38,425 --> 00:08:43,065
 or a tick off when something's done so that you can see what's being done and who's doing what, you know,

93
00:08:43,065 --> 00:08:48,505
 maybe have green for the jobs that your partner's doing and yellow for the part jobs that you're doing,

94
00:08:48,505 --> 00:08:54,265
 like I mean, well, my mind instantly went very down the line, pink jobs, glue jobs. Yeah, I know,

95
00:08:54,265 --> 00:08:58,825
 I was trying really hard to take a colour. Yeah. And you know, depend, you know, all the colours of

96
00:08:58,825 --> 00:09:04,265
 your wedding, but you know, so you have, yeah, you have that one colour is partner one's job, one

97
00:09:04,265 --> 00:09:09,865
 colour's partner two jobs, one colour could be mum's job. Yes, exactly. So you could make a display

98
00:09:09,865 --> 00:09:14,505
 so that even like your list keeping you on track is fun and visually appealing. Yeah.

99
00:09:14,505 --> 00:09:21,225
 Yeah. Now add it to your calendar. Yeah. And schedule those times and try not to take it outside

100
00:09:21,225 --> 00:09:26,825
 of that time. Yeah. If you are really struggling with it, you're coming in an overwhelming,

101
00:09:26,825 --> 00:09:33,785
 laborious task. Schedule those moments and don't discuss outside of that, don't let it take over

102
00:09:33,785 --> 00:09:41,225
 your lives because it should be fun and it should be lovely, but it is overwhelming. It is a huge task,

103
00:09:41,225 --> 00:09:46,345
 it's a lot of potentially a lot of money that you are spending and saving and putting towards things,

104
00:09:46,345 --> 00:09:52,025
 and it's a lot of organisation and I think everyone feels the pressure. It's just knowing how best

105
00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:57,225
 to deal with that. And definitely and I think I found it a lot recently, quite a few people I've been

106
00:09:57,225 --> 00:10:02,185
 working with are indecisive. And if you really are not, I mean my husband's the worst, he's like,

107
00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:06,105
 I don't mind, I don't mind and that really bugs me because then I'm sure to make the decision.

108
00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:10,505
 He's right. I'm shocked. I know that. Yeah. To help the decision for teak, if there is something where

109
00:10:10,505 --> 00:10:14,585
 you just really don't, you know, it might even just be like what colour napkins is it, this colour

110
00:10:14,585 --> 00:10:18,745
 from your colour scheme or this colour? Like literally, I mean, going back to my doorstep.

111
00:10:18,745 --> 00:10:23,465
 It would be meaning minding my or something, you know, just or draw it out of a hat or something,

112
00:10:23,465 --> 00:10:28,345
 you know, it doesn't have to be. All the decisions don't have to be seriously thought out, yes,

113
00:10:28,345 --> 00:10:34,185
 your photographer, your florist, your venue, your food, you know, they seem to be considered,

114
00:10:34,185 --> 00:10:39,305
 but some of the smaller details instead of getting lost in overwhelm and really over analysing

115
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:45,145
 how they are, I don't know if it's fun with it. Yeah. You know, or whoever wins this game.

116
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:49,065
 Well, there you go. There's a paddle can come in. Yeah, whoever wins the paddle game gets to choose

117
00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:54,985
 the reading or something, you know, if you're debating between two at your own different teams or

118
00:10:54,985 --> 00:11:00,345
 get a turn into a drinking game if you want, so every time, you know, a planning session and every

119
00:11:00,345 --> 00:11:04,105
 time someone says, "we're doing" or something, you have to do a short, you know, just make it fun.

120
00:11:04,105 --> 00:11:09,065
 Yeah. Whatever fun is to you. Now, fun to me is spreadsheets and ticking things off the list.

121
00:11:10,665 --> 00:11:18,105
 I get a real out of that. A lot of news is going into it. Yeah, exactly. But running race. Yeah,

122
00:11:18,105 --> 00:11:24,905
 yeah, yeah, whoever, whoever pretzels each other first gets it. Yeah, I think so. I don't know. I don't know,

123
00:11:24,905 --> 00:11:29,465
 I don't know. I've never actually raced against Jamie properly. That I do for an episode. No,

124
00:11:29,465 --> 00:11:37,065
 but no, just as well as just tackling that decision for teague, don't just make it okay,

125
00:11:37,065 --> 00:11:41,145
 and like a mundane task, not a stressful task, oh, above and beyond, make it something you actually

126
00:11:41,145 --> 00:11:47,705
 look forward to doing. Yes. Yeah, like date night. Exactly, exactly. So it hasn't been a very long

127
00:11:47,705 --> 00:11:54,345
 episode today, but hopefully it's been useful and just gives you some ideas of how to make the process

128
00:11:54,345 --> 00:12:00,185
 more enjoyable. Next week, we've got another fantastic guest on. So to make sure that you do not miss

129
00:12:00,185 --> 00:12:04,825
 out, to make sure you are subscribing on whatever platform you listen to and following the

130
00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:09,945
 wedding lounge, downloading it. Yes, if you download it means that we're able to see how many

131
00:12:09,945 --> 00:12:14,585
 of you there are in the world, you download it. Yeah, we're in the world. So we like to know all that

132
00:12:14,585 --> 00:12:20,825
 information. Yeah, I know. We've definitely reached Australia, the states, lots of Europe haven't

133
00:12:20,825 --> 00:12:24,265
 made it. Yeah. Have you got any time to miss it? I don't know. I told you we do. Yeah, we'll have to have

134
00:12:24,265 --> 00:12:29,625
 a look. Yeah. So yeah, make sure you're subscribing, following and downloading. See you next time.