alright, joining us today is Kolby Wilke. Welcome back listeners, and thank you for joining us today. Rather than me try to introduce Colby and get the facts wrong, I'm gonna ask him to take a few minutes here at the top of the episode just to introduce himself, maybe explain a few key terms that we might see on his social media sites such as Wayfinder is an interesting term to me. And we'll see where the conversation leads from there. So Colby, if you would just tell us about yourself and your work.

Sure. Uh, thanks for having me on. I, uh, work as a wayfinder, which to me means I help people find their way to who they really are and to the life that's been calling them. I believe that everyone has a life that's calling them, that we tend to resist because it would involve change, shaking things up outside of our comfort zone. Uh, I have an intuitive gift where I'm able to sense, uh, what someone's soul is trying to lead them towards and what is in their way, what's in their blind spot, causing them suffering. And with this gift, I'm able to help somebody spot it. What they've been denying, abandoning, stepping over so that way it finally can be resolved. 'cause when we face off with compassion, what's been in our way, it, it dissolves it. Um, people come to me with all sorts of problems, procrastination, self-worth, anxiety, depression, phobias, even physical problems. And many of them have read a whole bunch of self-help books. Many of them have sat at the feet of, gurus had had like a shaman or a healer work on them. Yet true wellbeing still eludes them, even though they've made a lot of effort. The truth is you can't get to wellbeing with effort. You just can't. That's not how it works. You can't get to wellbeing by trying to bend yourself into some version of better true wellbeing comes from. Allowing yourself to be who you are. And then somebody might say, Colby, well who's that? And I'll say, let's go Look, we're so in a rush to get somewhere called satisfaction, but as you know, many listeners know it's nowhere out there, it's in here. Um, and many of my people, my clients, my students have been looking quite earnestly, right? Um, and they go to folks who will show them what worked for them, like what's been their path, and then they'll share their path. The benefit of going to an intuitive, a psychic is to help, I help people sense their own path. Everyone has a particular path that their soul is inviting them, and I'm able, able to sense it and then I'm able to help somebody else sense it. And once you know what your soul is inviting you to do. Life becomes a lot easier.

i, I think in my experience when I speak with people, if you say you're an empath or along those lines, they get all not defensive, but skeptical maybe. Can you define the term empath as you see it?

Sure. So empath or empathy is being able to tune to somebody else. Usually empathy is both a gift and a curse. Empathy for many people. Some people come in with it, other people. I came in with it and it got further developed because I was raised in a rather dysfunctional home, so I had to, I would be like, oh, is it okay to go down into the kitchen? And I would sense who's in the kitchen and sense what their mood was by stretching my field. We have a jelly bean of energy around us, above, below to the sides, and you can stretch it to include another and sense their feelings, their state, what they're thinking about. It's a skillset. In large part, empathy means I'm able to tune into you the problem with empathy or the challenges. I'm so good as an empath tuning into you, but I may not be great at tuning into me. Or tuning into higher consciousness. Some people like to be around empaths because, oh, this person understands me easy. Some people don't like being around empaths because everyone wants to be seen, but not everyone wants to be seen through. Seen through means. I see your stuff and what you're stepping over and your ego. A lot of people don't want that. Now. That's a helpful skill for those people who want that and wanna work on themselves. But other people are like, get outta here. You know me better than I know me. That frightens me. An empath needs to learn how to control their empathy. 'cause an empath usually cares more about the other than themselves. And therefore resents other people not doing the same empaths generally want to live in Mr. Rogers neighborhood where everyone is kind, everyone is compassionate, everyone like shares like, oh yeah, that was my ego. I'm so sorry, but we don't live in Mr. Rogers neighborhood. And if you're an empath, you're like, I want to, but I don't. And I'm mad about it because I'm kinder and more compassionate than other people, and people aren't kind and compassionate to me, it feels unfair. So an empath needs to learn to control their empathy and to tune into themselves and higher consciousness. That's the path of an empath.

a skillset is always placed for those that excel at something on top of a certain level of talent. You said you came in as an empath, so is that, that's something, uh, correct me if I'm wrong, something you feel you were born with. through work and sensing and uh, consciousness, were able to extend that skillset.

Everyone could do math, but not everyone's an Einstein, right? Empathy is a skill. Some have a lot of it and develop it, and some not so much. So I came in rather open and not very defined as a self. I, I, so I had very little self-worth, self-esteem. I was kind of just open, right? And so, yes, I came in with it, and I've developed it because I wanted to be safe in my family. One, two, my career lends itself to empathy. People want to feel like they're understood by me. Um, and people love empaths because it's, they have, they don't have to work as hard to be understood. So somebody who has a difficult time expressing themselves, finding the words, loves an empath, because I'll do it for you. No, no problem. And then eventually it kind of backfires in relationship because, wait a minute, get outta my head. Get outta my space. Empaths tend to bleed. Into people, which initially, like in high school and middle school and college and in your twenties, makes you rather popular. But by the time you leave your thirties, you, you occur to somebody as too much or boundaryless. And so then becomes the process of, for most empaths, okay, this is not working. How do I find myself? I can be empathic. That doesn't mean I'm present. And presence is the game, is the winning in, in the old lotto commercials, something along the lines of in order, uh, how does it go? You gotta be present to win. That was the.

To win. Yes.

Present to win. If you're not present to yourself, you can't win in this game of life. See? Right. So I see a lot of couples and the male, the person will say, my, my, my wife thinks I don't understand her feelings and wants me to get it without her having to say something. And she'll be like, yeah, like you do Colby. And I'm like, one, I'm a homosexual. One. Two, I'm not your husband. Two and three. That's not his job. Your job wife in this case is to share what you're feeling eloquently enough for him to get it. Your associating wife, that he doesn't care about you because he doesn't understand you. No. He doesn't understand you because you are not using language affect to get him to understand you. And he needs to be open to like, I don't get it and I want to get it. Help me to get it. Explain it in a different way,

Hmm.

please. Empathy usually comes from the female essence. Doesn't mean you have to be, you know, have the gonads of a female, but it's usually associated with the feminine part of the being. It's receptive, right? So I am receptive to things that has its pluses and it has its minuses, right? People who are not empathic tend to. Like, be self-focused, are able to advocate for themselves. If you don't like me, that's okay. That's very non empathic, right? Very male. Very male. Empathic em, empathy. Very female. Not to say you need to be in a female body. I'm not.

Mm-hmm.

So I, I just wanted to throw that in a little.

No, that's, that's great. Thank you. So kind of an aside, just definition wise, a term I've run across, I've done, I have a particular author that deals with self-development from more of the empathic or the empath side, I think. And he uses the term several times in his books about highly sensitive. Is that something that.

There's highly sensitive people and there's empaths, two different groups, some overlap.

Some overlap. Okay, great. Can you expand on that a little

So highly sensitive. People are sensitive to, there's an acronym that I don't remember off the top of my head, but sensitive to noise, sensitive to environment, some sensitive to energies, sensitive to their own emotions. Sensitive to deregulation, right? Sensitive. And there's many different ways of being sensitive, right?

Okay.

Empaths are sensitive to feelings and energy. You could be a highly sensitive person, person. I'm sensitive to sound. I'm sensitive to environments and have no empathy. None.

Very good. Very good.

are highly sensitive people who have empathy. There is a lot of overlap, but not necessarily, I'm highly sensitive. Oh, I sensitive and I'm empathic. So double whack if you would.

Okay.

At the end of the day, and I use these terms, I'm not a big term person because I'm not big on putting yourself in a bucket because there are all sorts of energies that come with labeling yourself, right? All sorts of terms. So for instance, if I call upon creator, there are associations with that term, other associations with God or Lord or Yahweh or Allah. So you wanna make sure the term you're calling yourself or calling on. Is the associations you want. So for instance, if

Tell me a little bit more about the associations you want and how

as a gay man, if I call on the Christian God and the Christian God has overlays of homophobia, that's not gonna work so well for me.

Okay.

Even if I don't know it, it's not gonna work so well. 'cause I'm calling upon a form a, a form of energy that has distaste for who I am. So you wanna be very careful about labeling yourself. Like I wouldn't run around calling myself a highly sensitive person or an empath. I say I have highly developed empathy, which then I'm more in control. I. I say I'm highly sensitive to energy, but I'm not gonna label myself highly sensitive people. 'cause once you label yourself, are you labeling yourself for why so people understand you? 'cause you're identifying because you're a victim. Why you're identifying that way. Just share what your experience is and that way you let go of all of that stuff.

The, the very essence of self-awareness that I am not this thing. I feel this thing or I can do this thing, but that not, that doesn't identify me.

Right, right. Like I say to I, I would say like I'm, I say I'm gay, but the truth is I fall in love with men. That's more descriptive. Now, if I have associations that gay is bad from childhood, gay is wrong, then I'm loading that into my consciousness unconsciously. So why don't I just say what's true for me? I fall in love with men. Great. Now I have to deal with all that rest of that stuff.

Right. Um, so another branch then, you were on the border of spirituality versus religion. Possibly things that maybe in a lot of people's minds might be very similar, but spirituality you mentioned shamanism. And all the deities that we might identify with or speak to or communicate with a religion such as Catholicism or And you started to go into some of that. Maybe I cut you short. Did you complete your thought with the deity or the power, the consciousness that you should be communicating with? Or did? Did I cut you off?

So, let's see. There is no right or wrong way. I. The benefit of religion in my opinion is it's a tried path. Many people have walked it and there's a lot of energy gathered around it. And so it, you can get somewhere assuming there's a place to get faster. If you identify as a Christian, a Jew, a Buddhist, whatever it is, I don't, and I was raised Jewish. I'm Jewish because of my culture, but I don't exactly identify with. The religion never really took from me. So I am somebody who kind of samples and kind of makes up my mind and feel into what works for me. And I think the benefit of that is I'm finding my own path as opposed to being told what my path is. And it lends itself to me helping people find their own path. Yet, if a religion calls to you go, it's, there's huge benefit of participating in a religion. Huge benefit. And there's, you know, a little bit of detriment. 'cause you want to think for yourself, you wanna make decisions. Um, there's a lot of hatred within religion, some religion, right, that you want to be on the lookout for. We want to find our way, but we also don't want to give away our power. And we want people to contribute to us. So there's this paradox as spirituality is right. I want to be me and I want to allow God. Well, those seem like they're in conflict, but they're not. It's a paradox. People want simplicity. And it's not simple. It's not simple at all. So many people in my industry. And I apologize on behalf of my industry for engaging in spiritual materialism. Meaning that, hey, if you meditate, think positive, expect the best, do appreciation, good things will come to you. And if good things don't come to you, the Maserati, the house, whatever the case may be, the job, the wife, the boyfriend, whatever, then that's because you are doing something

Hmm.

that's not spirituality, that's materialism. Maing

Excellent,

right?

excellent.

Right. Spirituality in my not so humble opinion, not so humble, is relinquishing the self. I. Now I am 58. Right? I'm 58. That's what, how old I am. Okay. Where you act surprised, please. No, I'm kidding. So I'm 58 and I'm not the same man that I was five years ago, 10 years ago, 15 years ago. I have shed cells, I have let go, right? I was a boy who couldn't raise his hand in class. Now I talk very freely. I was a boy who couldn't, you know, honor his sexuality. Now I am out and about, right? So you become different. Our society tends to reward people who maintain a self and build a kingdom around it.

Hmm.

That's not spirituality. Spirituality is the relinquishment of self, which involves the relinquishment of ego. And the relinquishment of doubt and giving in to the great mystery. We don't know how this thing works called life. We don't know. And there are people in my industry trying to tell you, yes, I do know these are the laws, this is how it works. And yes, there is a point to it. Absolutely. There's some sure evidence and yeah, sure. Absolutely. But it's not, it's not that. It's not that. So yeah, there you go. He didn't ask, but he's Roland.

that, that's great. Um, so let's, let's take a step back from the in depth part there. You, you mentioned in the, in the last several sentences, your industry quite a bit. What, uh, on a day-to-day. Process. What is your industry? This, these are things I probably could have learned honestly by going in depth through some of your material, but I wanted the conversation to be fresh. So rather than me try to interpret what I'm seeing. You know, some of these questions might have been obvious in your social media presence, but, uh, is you, you mentioned industry, you mentioned your clients and your students. So tell us on a day-to-day basis, what, what is, do you run a practice? Are you a, an educator

Sure.

or you do all those things?

I would say my industry is along the lines of metaphysics, self-development, personal development. Uh, I would be classified as an intuitive guide or healer. I see clients, individuals, I see couples. I teach classes on how to find your path, how to increase your intuition, how to let go of trauma. Um, I do interviews like this one. Um, I have a fair bit of social media presence that I'm working on. And, uh, yeah, so my day is filled with sessions, classes, and, uh, writing emails for the most part. Uh,

you're an entrepreneur or, uh, maybe not entrepreneur, but basically you're, self-employed. Yeah, same. Same here as, uh, so many of us, uh, seem to be now on this. Uh, and I understand the whole kind of, the whole social media trying to build all that. It's a constant

my

and a

God. Right.

it?

It's really, it's really tough because you don't,

It is.

you want to be true to who you are and so many people are screaming for attention and overpromising

Yes.

on people's desperation. And so, you know, it's just really, it's difficult to raise beyond the noise. It is

It, it is very, yes, it is.

really.

Um, notice when I look at your YouTube page, which I, I have up here, and the, it's striking that nothing um, thumbnails is all caps with three exclamation points at the end. Right? That's, I I see it, but I put a video out I try to make a headline that is informative and accurate, but if you don't claim I can fix you in three minutes, in two steps or less, you know, there are other headlines and people seem to fall for those headlines. Uh, at, at least, you know, if you, if you're just going by the numbers of views of a video they have hundreds of thousands of views on this thing that, you know, it can't be true really for most people, it, it is discouraging.

I am sure.

But it's gotten,

I'm sure everyone's offering something. There's, you want a more mature audience. Like years ago I did more instant healing where I used my gift to help people heal of whatever disease or trauma I. And what I found was that people would come back the next week with something else.

mm.

Something else, and something else. But it really didn't elevate them. It didn't elevate them to be beyond circumstance. It kept them trying to manufacture a life of wellbeing without knowing wellbeing. Right. And it just is more materialism. The answer is outside of yourself. The answer is, and so much social media, as you know, it is like, look at my abs, right? Or look how pretty my house is. Look, I'm boarding this plane. Look at my fancy car, and God bless. You know, I, I like that stuff. I, I'm not making it wrong. You know, it is what it is you gotta be. It doesn't feel authentic to me to over promise. And I guess on some level I'm paying a price because I'm not capturing those people. But those people I really don't wanna work with, to be honest,

That's exactly right. That's, that's the most valid ending to that sentence is that. What good are the 32nd clicks? You know, I, we're not here on social media to the, the goal is not to build the huge following. The goal is to help those, that are willing to put the work in and, and that are

who you are. A match,

in being improve whatever the right phrasing might be.

right? Like what I ask clients a lot when I first start working with them is, what do you, well, what do you want? Usually I want a boyfriend, I want money, I want my pancreas back, whatever the case may be. Okay, great. That's a great place to start. Now what's your life about Now? That's a very interesting question to me. What is your life about? Like if you were to be buried and you had a little tombstone or a big tombstone, what do you want it saying? Not like I'm a father, son, brother, but here lies Hubert or Christine. She lived what? She lived life fully. She knew love, she knew belonging. She was evolved. She always had a con, what is your life about? And that will give us the framework to make decisions moving forward. But if you don't know what your life is about, you're kind of wandering in the dark. You're just, you're just trying, you're making it up as you go along and you're make, and you, you're just like, I'm lost. What's your life about? And most people say, I don't know. And. I don't know, and that's when I tune into their soul. I'm like, have you ever thought Yes, I think about that all the time. Okay, there. There it is. There it is. It's right there. Yeah. But yeah, there's a lot of reasons. There's always a lot of reasons of, of course, there's a lot of reasons. I'm not saying you don't have evidence. I'm not saying you don't have reason to have pause, but is that really what you want? Yes. That's my heartfelt desire. I don't know how to get there. Don't worry. Let's just admit that you want that, that that's your soul yearning. Soul meaning from your soul, and soul, meaning singular.

Right, right.

You can only monotheism has it right? In some respects, some respects you can only honor one God. Not God, Lord, creator one God. Meaning your life could only be about one thing. It is the umbrella. Now your life might be about love. Great, let's do that. It might be life, be about beauty. Great. Your might. Life might be about forgiveness. Great, but you can't be about forgiveness and beauty. 'cause those things sometimes compete. One will rise to the top. And that's where we take our direction from. One can consider that an angel. And we're taking our direction from that angel, the angel of whatever it is. My life per se, is about evolution. I am really curious, not what God is, but what this is. What is this, what is this? And what is the apex of my evolution? That's my interest. And so all decisions followed from there. My

Okay.

not about love. I like, love my life's. I like belonging. I love that too. I, I, I love, uh, love, uh, sex. I love altered states of consciousness. I love all that part of me. He's up and about. Uh, good. Down you go. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Whoa. Okay. Sorry about that. What's your life about? So, I guess I'm asking, you're inviting your listeners to consider what's your life about? What do you want written on your tombstone? What do you want said to said about you at your eulogy? And then we need to separate what your spirit is saying and what your ego is saying. Well, I want people to tell that I was a great businessman and that I, you know, supported it well. Is that your, your spirit or is that your ego? And we need to distinguish those things and pull them apart.

Wow. So that's your first step

That's

or a, even your first step, but a person's first step to self-realization. Is that the right phrase? Or, or, uh, what is

ization is exactly it. Actually, you did a great job there. Self-actualization. Yeah, you did a great job. Most people don't get that. Mazel tough to you. Self-actualization is, I want to be my best self. I want the body, the wealth, the whatever. That's self-actualization. Best life, best version of self. Self-actualization. Self-realization is there's no one here. There's no one here I am, I am the everything. I realize the true self, that there is no self. That's self-realization. I love self-realization all about it and. People want it, but they're a little frightened because they think they have to disintegrate. Like God is chasing them around with a broom, like a mouse beating them up. Right? That you have to release yourself. You have to stop being you. The truth is you become the divine within. You recognize your divinity within self. The tech. If people are looking for, if your audience is looking for practitioners and let's say I don't appeal to them, that's fine, but I will, I wanna give this tip, which is really important. I think if you're gonna work with anyone, coach, hypnotist, therapist, whatever, healer. The signs of awakening is a sense of still the person has a sense of stillness, meaning there's space in between their thoughts, there's stillness. You get more still when you're around them. You get less defended stillness. There's a sense of calm and there's a sense of embodied love, calm, stillness, love. Those are the signs of awakening. If someone doesn't have that, they're not there. Now, there are many stages of awakening, of enlightenment. They're not there. There are many people who are into spiritual materialism. Rah, rah, you can have what you want. Go and get it. Whatever it is, which is fine if that's what you want. That's important work. Self-actualization is important work, but it's, it's, it's not the work,

Okay.

right? It's not

Right.

Again, wellbeing requires more than self-development. It requires something deeper, someone to go within. That what or recall goes

It's just these are, these are eye-opening. Yeah. I, I'm almost, uh, there's, there's so much to unpack from that that I almost don't know what, where to go. Um,

That's okay. We can hang out in the unknown. It's a great place to be. Honestly.

I think I now I, I, I hear you and I think maybe I'm un a little uncomfortable with that. My background is very analytical, very, concrete. Right. Uh, I, I a math and science teacher, a, a computer engineer. Um, I. I have, uh, some background in, in counseling, um, a little bit, but it's just such a different approach

No, actually it isn't. So can I just tell you what I just saw? So may I,

please.

so when you're talking, don't get scared. It's okay. So don't.

yes.

So when you're talking about your engineering and your math, right, there's a place that you go and you, it's up towards your right. Maybe you left, 'cause I'm seeing you reversed up here. Where you go where you actually consider options. Do you know what I'm talking about? When you're thinking about a problem and how to resolve it, you go to this still place, this place of possibility there. Right there. It's right there. Boom. That's it. That's it. Now I've just got that on steroids. Right? But you've

Wow.

got it. And the way to increase it is to put more attention on it and to rec Well Colby, I don't know when I'm doing it. That's okay. That's okay. That's okay. Just be become curious. Oh, there it is again. You just accessed it. 'cause I could feel it when you access it. This is the benefit.

like, yeah, it's, it's, you know, the impact. It's a little scary from my point of view.

Oh yeah.

almost like, and, and you're doing this over a, great distance somehow. It, it is fascinating.

It's really creepy, right? It's crazy. Like I'll talk to a friend,

creepy.

really creepy. I'll talk to a friend and like, I'm like, I lost you. No, I'm right here. No, no. You're paying attention to something else. Oh, how do you do that? I'm like, I don't know. I just, I, this is this empathy, the sensitive thing, which is it. Look, I wouldn't wish this on anyone. It's a pain in the ass, to be honest with you. It's a pain in the ass and it's what I got and I work with it. So here's my point. There is a place you go when you are open to possibility and you, you are there, you're in your body, and you're also aware of the bridge you showed me, like a bridge, like this horizon. You're there now, right? That's it. You just start delineating, oh, I'm here. Oh, and then you start being able to get there at will. Oh, I want to get there. I'm, oh, I don't know what you, what do I have for dinner? I don't know. And off you go, right? And then you're like, that's it. Now I just have that kind of in waking state. Um, now keep in mind, I wanna warn, I wanna tell on myself a little bit. Super easy to develop an ego about this. And there was a time where I'm like, look how special I am. Look what I can do. Right? And that's a, you know, one of my teachers would say, Kolby the paranormal, which is what we just did, is really great. But don't get stuck there. I. Keep going to the unified field. Keep going. These gifts occur and occur as you move forward, but don't think it's the end game. Don't think it's even you. Keep going to the unified field. Keep going. Don't get trapped in being psychic or being intuitive or like talking to dead people or keep going. That's not the point. It is part of the gift and it's also, and it's also a distraction. So yes, you're differently wired than me. We need every, I'm not an engineer. I can't do that stuff, right? We need, we need you on the planet and you can access the unified field your purpose in a way that's specific to you. You don't have to do, don't do it my way. And one, you can't because, not because it's so great, because you're not me.

Right.

This is the benefit of dealing with an intuitive, like I can sense your path. Other people can only give you what they did, which is handy, but you can't get where you want to go from there, in my opinion.

Um, one of the things that really struck me early in our conversation was you talk about the ability to stretch out or to withdraw. Tell me about that in a regular conversation. Do you, can you, you said you can control that or withdraw it or extend it, and I guess it's two different things that I'm asking. Can you draw that back into yourself so that you can move through interactions without sensing the things around you?

Everyone wants to be seen, right? We all want to be seen, but very few people want to be seen through, right? And what you're describing is, holy crap, this guy can see through me and my bullshit and my skeletons, and that scares the hell outta me when I don't necessarily want to deal with that. And I certainly don't want other people to know. The only way, there are three things I do. As a wayfinder, I help dig, dig to the bottom of a wound and help you release it. I help you with energetic practices to modulate your field to enter greater wellbeing, right? It's like a hack. Like, okay, you're not, you're here but you want to be here. How do we reconfigure your field so you feel greater joy beyond your present capacity? And three, I help you adjust. Be aware of your ego and how it's sabotaging you. Okay? What you're describing, the discomfort is this guy's aware of my ego. I'm scared. Reasonable, totally reasonable, totally reasonable, totally reasonable for me. My gift, I can turn on or off. I. As I think all gifts should be able to turn on or off. If when a client comes to me and says, look, I can't control my gift. Dead People are constantly talking to me and it's getting really inconvenient, that means you're not in control. That's a problem, and you need to gain control. Okay? This shouldn't be happening to you outside of your willingness or else something else is going on. That means you might be being influenced by something or you are, you know, you have some competing needs or thoughts and you look, look how special I am. I'm so spiritual, I can't control my evolution. God wants, you know, some craziness, right? God bless you. I've got my own craziness, okay? So I have control. I can turn it on or turn it off. Having said that, if I'm at the barista, I. And I'll give you an example. So I went to the market, I don't know, a couple years ago, and this, uh, the cashier says, how are you? I'm like, I'm not having a great day, actually, it's really not a good day. So like, okay, that'll be 1359 now. I was like, holy crap. How does she do that? How does she do that? Because if someone tells me in those days they were having a bad day, I would feel compelled to help them com. Like I had no choice in the matter. Like, I have to, but she doesn't have the empathy that I have. My empathy keeps me ethical because I sense the other and what it will do to the other, and I sense the other as myself, right? So people are, without empathy, you are more, you are more not prone. You can be more unethical than somebody who has empathy. Right. So to answer your question, I'm able to turn it on and turn it off. I make choices like to engage or not engage. 'cause not every day do I wanna sit down with somebody because I send something, you know, maybe I don't and I have to choose, you know, let's, there's a practice I have that one of my other teachers would taught me, Colby, if there's a lost dog in the neighborhood, that doesn't mean it's for you to go and get that dog. What do you mean it's a lost dog? It's running around. It could be starving, it could be abused. Of course I'm gonna go and save the dog. No, Colby, you have to ask, is that yours to do? Because the boy down the street, that might be his future pet, and you stepping in will cause a rift in that you have to ask, is this mine to do? If, for instance, like for me, I have this ability, one to find lost dogs. Like if you want a dog, you just tell me what you want. It'll come within a week. This boom shows up. Or if you're an elderly person lost, you find me. Always. I find an old person pretty much every other day, every third day, wandering around lost. Now I live near a, like three blocks From a senior center. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah. But it's incr. I ask other people, does this happen to you? Does this happen to you? No. Why? I've never seen five old people lost. I find them all the time. So there's, and I ask each time, is this mine to do? And the times I'm like, okay, there's an older man with a cane wandering around. I get clearly not yours. I'm like, well, can I stay here and watch? Not yours. Walk away. Walk away, but, but walk away. The gift has its pluses and the more tuned in you are to yourself, the more you know what your is yours to do. The only thing when you get that like pull away from me is you're trying to protect what you don't even wanna protect anymore. You don't want that self that you're holding onto that you're embarrassed by. You're like, look, in my opinion, life is a perpetual coming out of the closet, right? You just fly your freak flag higher and higher and higher, because no one part of me gives a shit anyway.

That's prob, that's probably true.

No one gives a shit. It's you who gives a shit. Because you think you've taken in their voices or what you imagine their voices have said, real or run real, whatever. Who are you protecting anyway from your freakiness? Not Freakiness, criminal. Freakiness. Like you being you. No one cares, cares. My, uh, I have a transgender friend and he was really afraid. She, I apologize. She is, was really afraid to wear a dress, right? And I said to her, no one cares. In fact, everyone's so involved with themselves, they may not even notice. They might not even notice. And she went out in her dress, in her thing, felt so free. No one cared. Cared. Hardly. No one cared. And. I don't care. Do what you're gonna do. Now I live in Seattle. Right, right. It's very rather liberal here. So you know, I may be speaking from that paradigm, but your listeners, please go and be you. The journey of our lives is not to be happy. I'm sorry. It's not what it's about. It's not about finding happiness. That's not what it's about. Sorry. Sorry. It's not what it's about. The journey of our lifetime is to become ourselves. That's the journey is to allow yourself to become who you are. Giving yourself permission every moment, every step of the way to be you, whoever that may be. Now that's separating who you think you are, who you think you need to be, who you think will get your approval from who you actually are. That's the journey and my friend, that is not always a happy process. It's deeply satisfying, deeply satisfying, but it's not happy. 'cause you gotta allow yourself to become you and let go of, oh, I need their approval, I need, I need to make a living. You know, whatever it is, I gotta do this, I gotta do that. Other people, Papa, I have this reason to. Okay, see you next time. Enjoy yourself.

Does that disillusion some of your clients coming in, do the, does that turn them away or they realize enough that, uh, what you're saying is true?

You know, you want to be able to speak the truth with compassion. Just speaking the truth can make you sound like an asshole. I.

Very

Right. So you

Very

speak the truth with compassion and with a sense that they are getting it and able to digest it. Having said that, I had a client last week, new client, she gets on the phone, she's just starts talking and I'm like, what do you wanna work on? She didn't answer the question. I kept talking about her. I don't know her cells and they're in conflict. I don't know. And she keeps talking and then she starts like, oh, this one's this. And I'm feeling this now. And I'm like feeling in. I'm like, there's nothing happening. She's all in her mind. There's nothing happening. She starts to cry. There's nothing happening. 'cause she's on some sort of mental trip, which happens, right? That happens. 'cause she, her mind wants to convince her that something's happening. But really nothing is happening. Another work is getting done. And so I stop and I'm like, would you like to know my opinion about you? She keeps talking.

Wow.

She keeps talking. You're paying for the session. Would you like to get my feedback? I'm like, well, stop, stop, stop. Do I have your attention? Can I tell you what I sense? Yes. Okay, good. You're not letting me contribute to you and you don't let anyone contribute to you because you're too afraid to allow somebody to love you because your parents love came with a whole bunch of stuff and you grew up too fast, and now you want love, but you can't let it in. Now she starts crying Now real heaving. I could sense it in her field. Stuff is coming, right? Stuff is coming. Oh, I've known this, but I, but you haven't been able to get to it. Right? Because we are damaged in our relationship with people. That's how we're damaged. That requires another person to help you resolve it. You can't resolve it alone. Not those kind of wounds. You can go to Tibet live in a mountain. You're not gonna touch this. Okay? You can touch other stuff, but you can't touch interpersonal damage. You can't. Now, after that whole series, she feels better. She feels more open. Okay. She gets off, she makes another appointment, and then she comes to con. Then I get an email saying she doesn't wanna work with me because she's too terrified about what came out. It's too difficult. Okay. Okay. She's not ready to go there again, you're scared. And she may need some time to coalesce because what happened was she had her resolution, she felt good, and then her ego stepped in after the fact and said, enough of this, I wanna stay where I am. It's too scary out there. And that's true for all of us. We want what we want, but we would have it if we didn't have competing desires. We would. We, we have a life we'll allow ourselves to have. That's just true. We could say all day. I had another client last week, a young lady who wants to be married in her thirties, can't meet a guy. Very attractive, very nice woman, yoga person. She's talking about how she wants to be in love and find a man. And I'm like, well, the reason you can't find that is 'cause you don't want love. Do you want to be validated? What? You want to be validated? You don't want love. You don't wanna give love receiv love. You want to be validated. What are you talking about? You want everyone to know you're okay because you got this on your arm. Took her a moment. She's like, you're right. Okay, let's work on getting you validated. Let's work on you, validating you. Then maybe, maybe love will show up, maybe not. It's a very outside in approach, right? It's very much performative, right? Again, it's masquerading as somebody else and afraid that people will see through it. Right. As opposed to, okay, you don't value you, you're not valid to you. And by the way, we all are on that journey. The only reason I'm able to see anyone is 'cause I see me that

Hmm.

I have a gift. Sure. But I've applied this gift to myself. The only reason I could, we're all not that different. We're all ice cream. We're just different flavors of ice cream. Right? So, no, I'm not beyond this. Right. I'm in it with you. Okay. So you want, you need to validate yourself. Okay, great. Let's look at that. Let's go.

Fantastic.

Yeah. Maybe you don't want a val. You want someone to come in and pick you up and tell you you're okay. Me too. I do too. I do too. Is that gonna happen? Mm, probably not. Okay. So let's honor those parts of you that don't feel valid. And maybe the guy will come. Maybe the guy will not come. Right. The journey is to become ourselves. And sometimes we don't like ourselves.

Wow, that's, yeah.

Right? And that's okay. Okay. Let's allow ourselves to be us. Oh, well, I'm a bit of a bully. Okay, let's allow yourself to be a bully. Let's not judge it. Allow yourself to be a bully. 'cause you're also a bully to you, not only to your wife, your kids. You're also a bully to you. Let's, let's look at, let's allow yourself to be a bully. Oh, I don't wanna be a bully. Okay, well, okay. Why not? Well, 'cause it's wrong. No, no, no, no. I want you to allow yourself to enjoy being a bully. Go for it. Enjoy. Mm, I love it. I love it. I love the power. I love pushing somebody into the ground. I love it. I'm, I'm, um, I'm Colby, this is not so satisfying anymore. Oh, it's not? I'm, oh, okay. What's satisfying? I don't know. I don't know what, okay. Let's hang out there. It goes very quickly. Like it's not, therapy is great and I've had a lot, but it's quick because you're just allowing someone to unfold while I stay here, right in my alignment while I'm holding or helping hold a container. A container is an energetic structure supported by angelic forces guides that makes things go fast, right? It helps hold, just like you've been in a container, if you've ever been to a service of some sort, a funeral, a bar mitzvah, a wedding, you know, you could feel when you enter into a sacred place. That's a container, so I'm hoping to establish it around somebody. It goes very, it goes pretty fast, and

Wow.

there's also no place to go. We are here to become ourselves. That's a never ending process. I hear people kolby, how long will it take me to? Heal this. I'm, I don't know how, how willing are you to be with yourself? I'm willing. Okay. Let's go. Oh, this is, let's go. Great. I'm very blessed 'cause I get to talk to people about what matters most to them themselves. I'm very blessed 'cause I get to have really interesting conversations with people. Right. And sometimes I have to help somebody because there is a place where people indulge in their victimization. Or me, I'm 65, my parents really screwed me up and they, they indulge in it. There's a place for tapping, touching in to the wound, and there's a place for saying, okay, enough, enough. I let this go. Let's do a process to let it go. I know so many people. I had a years ago I had a call from my sister Love. My sister, love her, and she was with my mother. Here's the accent. My mother, and she's like, Colby, my sister said, when did you get rags? My dog from? I'm like, I got him in eighth grade. Tell mom. Tell mommy you got him in eighth grade. Pam, what's going on? Mommy thinks you got him in ninth grade. You got him in eighth grade. Why are you arguing with the old woman, Pam? Let her have what she wants. Let her have what she wants. Why are you arguing? Why your sister is arguing with my mother? 'cause she hasn't forgiven my mother. That's why. I don't care. Like, let her believe what she wants. Who cares? That's indulging. Just let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Forgive her, forgive you. And that process, it's not, when people don't, I say, let go. But letting go is not something that you decide. You decide to let go, and then something moves through you. It's something happens, you, it's like, Hey, relax. I can't, that's not helpful. That's not how, how? How do I relax? I don't. Okay, can, let's calm your breathing. Breathe in, breathe out. Bring your attention here. There's a process. There's a process to letting go.

Wow.

Everyone wants change in their life, bigger house, better body, whatever. But few people are willing to change. That's just true. Most of my work, to be honest with you, is I have this theory of tides. It's not my own, but I labeled that, that we're all in the notion of consciousness. And at any one point we're caught in a tide. And if you've ever been to the ocean, I'm from Long Island, and you get caught in a tide, you don't try to swim out because you're just gonna tire yourself out. You tread water, keep your eye on the horizon so you know how far out you're going, and you wait for the tide to spit you out, and then you swim out. Most of us who are going through a difficult time are caught in a tide. You try to swim against the tide, you are going to suffer. It's going to drag on. You cannot fight it. However you tread water with somebody, you keep your eye on what you want, the horizon. You see how far you're getting from the horizon, how far you are getting from the source of you. You'll survive the tide until it spits you out. Most of us just need a partner to get through, and while you're being pressured by the tide, your stuff is coming up to be resolved, to be washed. So when you emerge out of the tide, you're no longer the same self, and you get out, you shake yourself off and you're fresh and ready for something new.

Wow.

Maybe there's some fried chicken that sounds really good.

That sounds

The peach.

That sounds good. that's fantastic. I, that's a, that's a great conclusion. We're about, we've been going quite a while, and I don't, I really appreciate your time. Um, I, I've got so much in my head from this that I am, I need to come to an end because I am, am having trouble processing

Okay.

a lot of this stuff

Yeah.

and the thoughts are getting a bit jumbled. Um, so let's wrap it up with some business, uh, side of things for our listeners and then. Uh, maybe we can do it again at some point in the future. If, uh, if the listener wants to get in touch with you, uh, or they want to contact you, what would you recommend for them to do? What's the best

So, uh, my website is colby wilk.com, C-O-L-B-Y-W-I-L k.com. And I have a newsletter there. And I've got a ton of blog articles and tips and practices as well as I'm on most of the social media, mostly on Facebook and on YouTube. And, uh, I sent you a link for a free gift, uh, which is, uh, helping people to find the first secret to finding your way. It's really great and it's free right, and it helps people to understand what may be in their way

okay.

causing them to feel lost, forgotten, stuck.

is there something you wished I had asked I didn't? Is there some information you want to provide, uh, as a, as a closing note that I should have broached the subject on and I, I missed completely.

the only thing I'd like to say, there's a lot of stuff going on in the world. There's a lot of conflict, a lot of argument, a lot of doubt. Doubt is the food of the ego. Once your ego gets involved, you get scared, and then you do dec. You make your decisions based on fear. The reason, the opportunity here with all this conflict with grocery store shells being empty with people unsure about their living is to not give into doubt. To know that all will be okay. We don't know what it's gonna look like. You may be moved to a different job. You may be compelled to move to a smaller, more affordable home, but all will be okay. 'cause what we value is not really what we value. All will be fine. Do not give into fear. Turn off the news more and more. Don't stick your head in the sand.

Right.

Don't be afraid and don't give into paranoia. There are forces supporting our planet to go through this change and there are forces that are against that process. Do not feed them and you feed them by feeding your ego with doubt. Stay short. Okay.

Fantastic. Col. Thank you very much.

Oh, it's my pleasure. I had a wonderful time.