Welcome to the Elevated Edit Podcast.

I'm your host, Blakely Ramsey, and the goal of this podcast is to discuss all things personal development, wellness, and the art of editing your life in an elevated way.

From mastering morning routines to mastering your mindset, we're going to sift through the noise and empower you to take elevated action.

Make sure you catch the show notes for all the details.

Enjoy the show.

Hello and welcome back to the Elevated Edit podcast.

I hope that y'all are having an amazing new year so far.

I definitely have not started my new year off with a bang.

We have been pretty quiet around the house, obviously gotten a lot of work done, but really nothing outside of the usual.

And it's been really nice.

I feel like normally I am doing something really intense for the new year, and in the past that hasn't really worked for me.

So I'm excited to see how things play out this year now that I'm not doing anything crazy for the new year.

As far as resolutions, I definitely sort of tried that last year and it paid off.

So I'm excited to see what happens when I lean into it even more.

But I was thinking about today's topic on my walk this morning.

It is definitely about the season that I'm in right now.

I feel like here lately I have been wanting to talk more about my individual experiences just because I feel like those are the podcasts that I listen to and lean into and really relate to.

And I don't know, I just feel like a lot of y'all might be in this season as well, and that is a gap season.

So I heard this term earlier in 2024, and it wasn't something I'd ever really thought about, but I knew I would probably eventually get to the point where I felt like I was in a gap season, and I definitely feel like I'm in a gap season right now where I am no longer wanting the same things that I used to want.

And I don't have the same goals that I used to have.

But I haven't really put out into the universe what it is that I'm doing next because I'm, you know, still working on things and finalizing things and fine tuning things.

And so I'm in this weird in between where everyone else around me still has the expectations of the old me, and I also internally have some expectations of the old me.

All while I'm actively working towards, like, a new life and a new way of doing things.

And so it's definitely a very interesting season to be in you kind of feel like you are caught in the middle.

And I'm sure a lot of you relate to this.

And I think this is especially important to talk about at a time like New Year's, where so many of us are wanting to, you know, improve certain areas of our lives or make changes in certain areas.

And there will be a time where there is a gap season and you're kind of stuck in the middle between who you were and the things you did before and who you want to be and how you want to be moving forward.

And it's really difficult, at least for me, to balance the hopes and aspirations of what I want to do next and the things that I'm really excited about and also navigate, like the internal critic, as well as the well intended.

None of it is, you know, intentionally cruel.

But there are some external things that you hear where people are comfortable with who you used to be, and they're comfortable with, you know, the relationship that you had with them, and they're comfortable with who you were before.

And it is, you know, challenging sometimes for people to see you change.

And, you know, that's definitely something that I'm experiencing right now.

And it's really weird and it's uncomfortable and it's kind of a lonely space to be in.

I am thankful that I have curated, like, a really good group of.

I wouldn't even call them friends necessarily, because it's not somebody that I'm like, oh, I'm gonna call and like, hang out with you just on a random whim.

But I have curated a group of women that are in the same spaces that I am wanting to be in.

And it's nice to just be able to call them and be like, hey, like, is this a normal feeling?

And they're like, yeah, girl, that's me, every other month.

And so having that group of women that are like a couple steps ahead of me, that has been really powerful in the season.

And so we're going to talk a little bit about that today, about having your.

Your group of people that you can connect with, your community and how that helps you through this season.

Because for me, this gap season has been a season of feeling stuck in the middle and questioning my decisions, and then, you know, like I said, having those around doubt my path.

And so that's what we're going to talk about today.

We're going to talk about what navigating the space looks like and how to handle the insecurities that come up in a season like this.

So I loosely define a Gap season.

But per the Google, a gap season is that in between time where you've left your old self behind, but you haven't yet fully stepped into what you're becoming.

And like I said, I'm definitely fully in the season right now.

It's not all bad.

It's just definitely a new space to explore.

You kind of have to hold space for different things than you held in your last season.

Your.

Your whole life has to change, not just your, you know, outward systems, but, like, your daily habits, like the time you wake up in the morning and the way that you run your morning and the way you structure your day and your evenings and your weekends and just how you think about your time.

Usually, if you are making a change big enough, all of that's going to flip on its head.

And that trickles down to little things, like, what day can I do the laundry?

Like, when do the dishes need to be done?

I mean, it's just things that you don't think about when you decide to make a big change.

Like, you decide that you want to, you know, change your health and wellness.

You decide you want to get a new job, you decide you want to move.

You decide you want to have a baby.

You decide all these things.

And, like, for me, I was like, okay, I, like, want to do abc.

And then when ABC was presented to me, I was like, oh, but I not only have to change this one thing, I also have to change the 100 other little things that go with it.

And that, for me, was kind of like the most overwhelming part of being in the gap season, because it's in that time where all of these little tiny things come up and you're mentally prepared to tackle, like, the big thing.

But it's all the little things that come kind of shake you and rattle you, and it's like, oh, wow, this is a lot of work.

And also in this season, like, a lot of internal insecurities have come up for me.

I feel like I'm a pretty confident person.

I try to keep my ego in check, for sure.

But, I mean, yeah, I.

I feel like I'm fairly confident.

And in this season, I have felt the least confident I think that I ever have.

Which is funny, because I'm chasing one of the dreams that I've always wanted to chase.

So it's kind of ironic that that's kind of flipped on its head.

But, I mean, there's literally almost every day, I'd say the last six months, I'm like, am I making the right decision?

Like, Is this even gonna work?

Am I qualified for this?

And there's been so many times where I have wanted to just like, be like, okay, this has been fun, but I'm gonna go back to my safe, my safe space.

I'm gonna go back to my comfort zone.

Like, I'm gonna go back to what has been working.

And you know, it might not light me up, but it's comfortable and I want to stay there.

And so that's been a huge thing for me in this gap season is like dealing with the internal monologue and kind of shifting my mindset to like, okay, you're doing this, you know, go back to your why you're doing this for a reason.

And sitting in that space can be really uncomfortable.

And then as I mentioned earlier, another really big struggle is external doubts.

I mean, I've mentioned this before about giving people grace because you can't expect them to.

You can't expect them to have the same mindset that you have around your own dreams because it's not their dreams.

And most of the time people genuinely do just want what is best for you.

When they say things like, oh, well, I would, you know, I would think about that before you did it, or, you know, are you sure that's a good idea?

Or, or, you know, all the little well meaning comments that come up when you hear it time and time and time and time again, it does start to get to you.

And I think this is why I sometimes like to keep things private until they're like 100% set in stone.

This is another reason why having like a community of not even necessarily like your close friends, but like a community of women who are mentors, who, like I said, are a couple steps ahead of you, to call them and be like, what do you think about this?

Because they are not personally attached to you.

They have no, they honestly have no skin in the game.

And so it's just a very logical answer versus the people that are really close to you.

They are used to the way you are now.

And so it's going to be hard for them to think about future you and answer for future you.

And I've just found for me personally, it helps my confidence to not blabber about things that I am wanting to change until I'm well into it.

Like even things like losing weight, you know, I think that's like a really sticky one.

Especially if people are used to you looking a certain way and used to you eating a certain way.

And then you decide, okay, this is, you know, I'm going to change my habits.

I'm going to, you know, start living like someone who has a healthy lifestyle.

And I'm not going to, you know, all the things, whatever it is, and you have decided that that's what you're going to do.

It then takes a little while for the people around you to get used to that idea.

They're like, oh, Blakely is not going to go work out.

Like she is not somebody that works out.

Or Blakely is not going to get up every morning and walk like that's.

Blakely doesn't do that.

Or, you know, she's not going to change her eating habits around, whatever it is.

And if you talk about it too much without having like a clear vision and enough confidence in yourself that you've taken action towards it to fend off those well meaning comments and like, well meaning.

Gosh, I can't even think of what I'm trying to say.

I guess like associations that people make with you because of actions that you've had in the past.

It can be really hard to stay on track when the people around you say things like that.

And like I said, I'm always all about giving grace.

I don't expect other people to look at me any differently overnight when I haven't given them proof that I'm gonna do what I, I say I'm gonna do.

And so that can be really challenging because the people around you, you do care about what they think and you do want them to think that you're, you know, making good decisions.

Good is such a relative term.

I don't really like using that.

But you all know what I mean when I say, like making good decisions and you want to be respected and you want people to be proud of you.

And so that can be super challenging.

Just kind of navigating your relationships and other people's expectations of you.

And then sometimes there, there is a lot of criticism too, I feel like, especially if someone is in a space where I was like maybe a couple of years ago where there were things that I wanted to do, but I wasn't taking action towards them.

If I saw a friend who was taking action towards their goals and like really going for it.

And this is gonna sound awful of me to say, but like, I would get so jealous of them and I probably would say something like to try to make them feel small and be like, oh, well, you know, that's, that market's really saturated or you know, oh, well, good luck.

Like people usually don't last with that, you know, and I would say that because I wasn't going after what I want to go after.

Like, now that I am in a space where I am creating things that I really enjoy and I'm running my business the way that I enjoy it, and I am living my life in a way that I genuinely enjoy, it doesn't feel restrictive.

It doesn't feel like I'm constantly spinning my wheels and running around in circles.

I am much more open with my friends and those around me when they come to me with their own dreams and their own crazy ideas because I no longer have that, like, restlessness because I'm not taking action towards my own goals.

And so, you know, just.

This is hard, but, like, look at the people who are giving you advice lovingly and just be like, okay, are these people going for it or are they, you know, just happy with where they are?

Which there's nothing wrong with that.

Like, I'm not saying everybody needs to always be wanting to self improve all the time, but just kind of, you know, monitor if these people who aren't wanting to see you change are doing it from a place of like, genuinely thinking, like, okay, she's about to throw everything away, or if maybe they have some, like, deep rooted insecurity that they haven't worked through yet and they are just projecting that on you and it's not easy.

Like, I'm telling you, this 2024 was a wild ride.

It opened up a lot of things that I had to work on myself, and I was fortunate to have the time and the space and the resources to put in a lot of that work.

And like I said, it definitely wasn't easy to process a lot of that.

But I feel like going through that has not only helped me when people react to my goals and aspirations that they think are a little crazy.

I don't take it as personally anymore.

But I'm also a better friend when my friends do come to me with crazy ideas.

And I feel like for the most part, like I said when I was kind of like deep in the throes of feeling super restless, I wasn't great at supporting my friends with their big dreams.

But in general, I don't.

I'm not someone who thinks anything is impossible.

Like, I think anyone can do anything they set their minds to.

And so, like, my friends know, don't come to me if we're not gonna do this because, like, I'm gonna almost to the point I probably need to reel that in, like, almost to the point of bullying, but I'm like, no, like, if you want to do it, like, let's do it.

Let's, like, put in a.

Put some prompts in ChatGPT and let's get a plan together.

Like, I am very.

Let's go for it.

And so at this point, I'm also trying to wrangle that in a little bit because I was called a bully a couple of weeks ago because, like, came to me with an idea, and I, like, gave her some contacts, and I was like, oh, you know, like, you can put these prompts in chat gbt.

And I sent her a couple things I saw on Pinterest, and then through another friend, she was like, yeah.

She said you kind of, like, bullied her when she told you about her dream.

I'm like, yeah, because I want her to do it.

She'd be really good at it.

So, yeah, I.

That's one of the things I'm working on right now, is reeling in my excitement for other people, because I know I do come on a little strong when it comes to that.

Okay, back to the topic.

We're navigating gap seasons.

Like I said, these are not easy to navigate.

There are a lot of emotions that will come up and feelings that will come up in different issues that will come up and, you know, be prepared to do the work that comes with those.

Super not easy, but super worth it, at least in my experience.

And one of the things that's helped me the most in navigating the season is creating space for reflection.

I am not someone who is great at setting in silence.

It makes me super anxious.

It makes me really nervous and agitated because I.

Surprise, surprise.

I don't like to talk about my emotions all that much.

And it can be.

It's, like, very overwhelming when you've suppressed your emotions for years, and then you take a year to kind of, like, listen to your inner voice and your inner monologue, and it's like, oh, my goodness.

First off, there's 80 voices going on in my head at once.

And then, you know, just your inner monologue, the way that you speak to yourself.

Like, I was really awful to myself before.

And so working through those things, creating space for that, has been really important for me.

So that's looked like journaling and going on long walks.

I've even just, like, set in the house in silence a couple of times this year.

And I, like, literally, like, if Will's not home and I'm not doing anything, I'll just, like, turn all the, like, radio, TV, all the things off for, like, 15 to 30 minutes and just sit with nothing, no music, anything.

And it is probably my least favorite thing in the whole world.

I feel like, you know, on tv when they.

People are like meditating in silence, they look so peaceful.

Like I am about to just bust out of the house because I get so antsy.

Like it's really hard for me to sit and be still and be silent.

But it's been really helpful for me because I kind of have.

Have been able to lean to my intuition a little bit more, which I don't think I was in tune with at all before.

And now I.

My decision making skills have improved.

My clarity and my focus obviously has changed drastically.

And so that's really helped a lot, is just creating space for the reflection and for thinking through things and processing everything.

That has helped me kind of navigate this gap season a lot.

So I've really tried to, tried to be intentional about, you know, like I said, going for a walk every day and not listening to music the entire time.

Just kind of giving myself a couple minutes at least to just think or like I said at home, if I'm cleaning or whatever I'm doing, instead of having background noise on, I just.

It's silent.

So I've really worked on trying at least to make intentional space for that.

That's definitely something I'm not perfect at.

I would love to have intentional quiet time every day.

Right now.

It's like a couple times a week and I'm like, oh, shoot, I haven't had my quiet time this week, you know, so I'm like chomping around the house, turning all the noise off.

So definitely not perfect at it.

But that is something that has helped as I've leaned to it, into it a little bit more.

And it's also helped me follow, like I said, follow my intuition.

And that makes me think of those razor commercials.

When I say intuition, that's literally all I can think about.

I shouldn't have put that in the show because now that's probably all you're thinking about too is, are those Razer commercials that used to be the bomb back in the day?

I mean, you want to talk about elite marketing?

The fact that I see a word and I automatically think about their product, that's brand recognition right there.

And then something else that has really helped is building a supportive community.

Like I said, I personally don't think this should be your friend's responsibility.

I think even if it, whether it's a business gap or a personal gap or whatever it is, I think sometimes expecting the people around you to hold your big changes for you is a lot for them to handle because they're going through their own stuff and they're dealing with their own things.

And I'm not saying don't be open and honest with the people around you, but maybe create a support system that is not as personally attached to you and you can go to.

And it is more transactional versus emotional.

That's helped me a lot to have people that I can call and run business ideas by, and they just give me a blunt and honest answer, and then I can process their blunt and honest response.

And then by the time I talk to my friends about things they don't have to deal with, like, the heaviness of it, they can just be supportive because they're not having to jump in and help me navigate this situation that I'm in, because that can get really sticky, because friends usually do have really good intentions, but I think when they try to jump in and look, I'm really bad about this, too.

Like, I.

Like I said, I'm actively trying to not jump in when my friends come to me with things and just listen more, and I'm not good at it.

This should be the show called Things Blakely is not good At.

I'm not great at it, but I'm definitely working on that.

And like I said, adding women into my life that do give me that accountability has helped me see that.

Like, okay, if my friend comes to me with something, I don't have to be her accountability partner unless she asks for it.

I can just be her friend.

And for me, at least, those have been kind of two separate categories between, like, okay, my friends are here.

Like, my friends are the people that I, like, laugh with, and we, like, enjoy, you know, silly moments.

And, yeah, we talk about deep stuff, but, like, it's.

It is, like, still, like, enriching.

And then my accountability group, women, we still have fun with, but it is very, like I said, very transactional, very, hey, I'm coming to y'all with an idea.

And I don't.

They don't give me advice based on myself personally, and I don't take their advice personally.

And so it's just very, like, black and white.

Here's my issue.

I get a couple different responses, and they're just very logical versus it being a lot of emotions.

And then I get my feelings hurt, and then they get their feelings hurt, and it's a whole thing that has really helped me a lot, and it's also helped me open up a Lot more with people because I now have different channels where I can let my emotions and feelings out versus expecting my friends to hold everything and then them expecting me to listen to everything that they say.

There's a lot of distance there.

And like I said, for me personally, that has helped a lot.

That's not something that I'm not saying everybody should do, but if you have a similar personality to mine, that might be something that you, you know, curate for yourself as, like, a group of women that you like.

They're not gonna, you know, go grab a glass of wine with you and then go watch Sex in the City.

But, like, they're like a phone call away, and you're a phone call away for them.

And it's like, hey, I want to run this by you.

It's a three minute conversation, and then you walk away with clarity.

So just something to think about.

And then something else that has helped me in this gap season is celebrating my small wins.

I am not someone who is great at celebrating small wins.

That is, once again, something else I'm not great at.

I am not good at slowing down and being proud of myself before I move on to the next thing.

Like, before I've even checked.

As soon as I know I'm about to check off a goal, like, I've got three.

Three action steps left, I'm on to the next one.

Like, I literally never give myself time to be like, wow, you did a really good job.

And so I'm.

I'm trying to do better at that this year as well, like, in taking time to enjoy and celebrate small wins so that I.

My confidence builds, and I internally feel like I'm making progress versus being like, oh, my gosh, I'm never hitting the goal.

I'm never reaching the next step.

And it's like, well, sis, because you just skipped, like, 25 results and you didn't give yourself even one moment to be excited about.

So that is something that I am working on as well.

And that might help you too, like, celebrate your small win, celebrate the little things that you get done every day.

And, yeah, I don't know, that might be horrible advice, but I guess we'll figure that out together.

We'll follow back up with Adam in a couple of months and see how that.

How that advice is playing out for us.

But my challenge to you this week is to take 10 minutes and journal about your gap season.

There are no right and wrong ways to do this.

You can throw in some ideas to get prompts in chatgpt.

You can just journal off the top of your head.

You can go back and re.

Listen to this episode and kind of pause it in different moments and journal about things that may come up for you, but journal about what your gap season's looking like.

You might not even be aware that you're in a gap season and this episode might kind of like be the trigger to be like, oh, maybe that's why I'm going through this difficult time, or maybe that's why this doesn't feel so great.

Or, you know, whatever it is that comes up for you, just journal about that.

And then from there that might give you a little bit more clarity about where you need to go moving forward.

You know, do you need to work on some of those inner, inner monologues or inner issues that come up or internal struggles?

Do you need to work on your confidence?

Do you need to maybe not change your relationships, but maybe add in some, like, additional relationships that just hold space for helping you with growth and mentorship and accountability and then that opens up your, you know, close personal relationships.

Whatever it is that you need to work on, wherever you are and wherever you're wanting to go, just journal about that for a few minutes this week.

And that's all we're gonna do this week.

We're not doing a.

I, I don't have the space for a full, a full five step action plan this week.

And I have a feeling that y'all don't either, because I don't know about y'all, but I'm just exhausted.

Like, I feel very motivated and I have been very consistent, but I am, there's nothing left in the tank at the end of the day.

Like, when I get to 6:00, I'm like, okay, yeah, I, I gave today 100, but there's not a lot left.

And that is just so opposite of me during the summer because, like, during the summer I'm up like wee hours of the morning and I can go until like 9, 10 o'clock at night.

Like, I have energy all day.

And January likely doesn't feel like that.

So yeah, we're, that's our one, that's our one action step.

This week we're going to take 10 minutes to journal about the gap season.

And like I said, just see what comes up for you.

See some books you might need to read or podcasts you might need to listen to or things you might need to journal about, or you might need to go see a therapist or whatever it is.

Figure that out.

Figure out your relationships with other people.

Build your community and then enjoy your little wins.

And remember that this season is temporary and this discomfort is growth and is shaping you for your next season, whatever that looks like.

Because we're all in different places and we all have different goals and that's what keeps the world moving.

And Send this episode to a Friend if you think that you have a friend who might be going through a gap season or is about to go through one, you know they've got a big life change coming up.

Send this to them and just provide a resource for them.

Just say, hey, was just thinking of you and wanted to send this your way.

Thought that this might be a good listen for you today.

And then, as usual, if you feel so kind, please leave a review for the podcast because that helps our reach and our engagement and it helps me reach more women just like you.

I will see y'all in the next episode.

Thank you for tuning in to the Elevated Edit podcast.

I hope you found today's episode inspiring and full of actionable tips.

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Keep growing, glowing and elevating your life.

See you soon.