Esther: He just, he nodded… he nodded in my direction. And I just, I was beside myself at it. I didn't go over, but he nodded. I think he knew, he knew I'd done well.

Alex: Several years ago, Esther Farrant was standing at the front of a classroom, teaching maths.

Esther: We were doing some long division, which I'm sure many people would think why.

Alex: It was the last lesson of the week – the kids were tired and wanted to go home. There was one boy, Kareem…

Esther: He was usually a really calm fellow, he was really quite, you know, polite and respectful. And I could see this frustration. We were going through some answers. And he just stood up and his chair pushed back, and ‘I can't do it’. You know, it just, I can't! I heard that word, I can’t, and I thought ahh that looks familiar.

Alex: Esther knew that feeling all too well. She went home from school that day, thinking back to many years ago.

Esther: It was then I went home and I thought of Mr. Bond.

Alex: Back in her own student days, Esther went to an all-girls high school in rural Hertfordshire. It had a good reputation in the local area.

Esther: I'm one of the privileged young people that really enjoyed school. It ticked all my boxes of external validation and achievements and grades and … it really was an area I thrived in. And I just wanted to push harder and do better. And I studied hard and I did lots of extracurricular activities and played instruments and joined netball teams and you know, school councils and all that jazz.

Alex: Esther was a grade A student. Her report cards were full of dazzling praise from teachers and high scores. She was in the top set for every class.

Except … for one.

Maths.

Esther: For me, it felt like mathematics was this insurmountable obstacle, this, this one factor that I just… it was like the black spot on my school career, you know. And we're not talking anything diagnosable or anything, I was just… had it in my head I was bad at maths. And so I was.

Alex: Back in primary school, Esther had photographically memorised the times tables instead of actually learning how to multiply. She just couldn’t wrap her head around it.

So this top student, who prided herself on glowing report cards and being top of the class, was relegated to the lower maths class.

Esther: It just was like these sort of 30 teenage girls who most of them would rather have been talking about the boys down at the boys school and what they're gonna go buy down at Boots after school, than thinking about trains leaving stations and what's the area of this circle?

Alex: Esther did want to learn – but the subject was such a hurdle.

Esther: Maths, really… it brought out the worst in me, and I just, I’d get frustrated. And I just, unlike in other things in my life, I felt like giving up but just felt like this is never going to happen for me. I'm not going to be good at maths, that's just, you know, finite, fixed mindset. That's it.

Alex: Luckily for Esther and the rest of the girls – the teacher of this class … was Mr. Bond.

Esther: The name Mr. Bond. I mean, not surprised I remember it! That probably paints a very different picture in your mind of who Mr. Bond was. He was always a very kind gentleman. But he was a softly spoken man, very smartly turned out, always wore this suit although that wasn’t a requirement at the school.

Alex: Mr. Bond always wore tan trousers and a sharp blue blazer.

Esther: Looking very dapper. You know full head of white hair and probably wasn't as old as I thought. But you know when you're young, you think someone with grey hair must be ancient, but poor fellow probably wasn't that old.

Alex: He could see that despite her frustration, Esther wanted to get better.

Esther: What really struck was that Mr. Bond really recognised a sort of duck out of water where I was concerned a little bit like he could see that I was a hard worker I wanted to do well.

Alex: He figured out that Esther could manage the actual calculations; she just got tripped up by the way the exam questions were phrased.

Esther: It's always presented as this, like, problem, this puzzle. They're not just asking you to put a calculation or an equation together, they're asking you to solve a puzzle and work out what is it they actually are asking me? But when it was explained to me what I needed to put in for the calculation, it made sense to me and I could do it.

Alex: Still, maths class was the last lesson of the day. The girls were unruly, distracted.

Esther: In general, it was a chaotic time. I wanted to miss that lesson so badly, not just because I didn't like maths just… I felt like a waste of time! I just felt like, how are we gonna get any learning done in this space? And I think Mr. Bond thought so too

So Mr. Bond said he would offer lunchtime maths sessions in the run up to the GCSE exams. He told Esther she should come along.

Esther: What he was doing, he was giving up his whole lunch break, to sit down and work through exam questions and coach us. And I was the only one that turned up.

Alex: Together they tackled algebra and long division. They puzzled through areas and distances and circumferences. Slowly but surely, Esther’s approach changed.

Esther: Mr Bond really helped me to recognise that instead of seeing maths as this huge, insurmountable challenge, that it is something that I could… break. It's something I could face head on, and take on the challenge, rather than keep cowering away from it and hiding from it and pretending to people that, yeah, no I'm really good in school and just not mentioning that sort of black mark, there was my maths grades.

And I think what changed was instead of hiding from it, and letting this embarrassment dominate, I faced it head on. And that was Mr. Bond, sort of patient and calm approach to just working through the problem.

Alex: Eventually she got to the point where she was ready for the exam. She wasn’t afraid anymore. During their last lunchtime session, Mr. Bond set Esther one last challenge.

Esther: One of those long answer questions with those multiple sections, A to D, you know, scoring highly, if you get one wrong at the beginning, you're gonna get them all wrong. And he presented me with this question, he said, Alright, this is this is you now, I'm not going to help you with this one. We’d come a long way, and it's like that standing on a precipice feeling a little bit. But I would plunge into that exam question with a totally different attitude.

Alex: She filled out the test exam question and handed it back to Mr. Bond.

Esther: And he sit there quietly for a minute, and he's looking across it. I remember that feeling of like, wow, this is it now. It’s kind of if I haven't got it, now, I ain't getting it. And he hands back the paper. And I think, okay, then what did I do wrong? Where did I go wrong this time? And he said, Esther that's exactly right that’s a top mark question. You've just, you've just completed that question to the highest standard.

Alex: Esther saw Mr. Bond only once more. When she went to get her GCSE results at the school.

Esther: There we are. We're in the car. My mother's agreed to drive us because I think I was too excited to probably put one foot in front of the other…. anxiety and excitement and goodness knows what emotions flying around.

Alex: They arrived at the school, it was a bright sunny day in late summer. A row of tables had been set up in the reception area. Students and a few teachers milled around, waiting in anticipation.

Esther: I think I had tunnel vision, I was just focused on those brown envelopes - that big stack of brown envelopes. And I remember being handed this brown envelope with my name on it. Big A4 thing. And it's open on the top. So you don't have to like fiddle around opening it. You think oh somebody already opened it? But you slide them out. And you've got this big wodge of papers in there. There’s certificates and so on. And there’s a front cover sheet.

Alex: Esther quickly scanned the page, her eyes jumping immediately to the grades.

Esther: I'm looking for the C, the C basically to see that I've passed maths. I couldn't see it. I thought, Oh…I looked down again. In my head it feels like it took forever but it was probably a matter of moments. But there I am looking. In my head I thought they haven't marked my maths exam, you know it’s not on here. And the reason I hadn't seen it is I got an A. I got an A in mathematics. It was unbelievably… unbelievably wildly beyond anything I was expecting. I thought I was going to be scraping my way through with a C. And I guess it's just a testament to what perseverance and a change of mindset can do. I'm not going to claim by any stretch that I was suddenly some miraculous wiz at mathematics; that was hard work graft and a lot of patience from a very committed teacher. But that day I was just shaking.

Alex: Esther was delighted, thrilled. Her mum gave her a big hug. Then, over her mum’s shoulder, she saw Mr. Bond. Standing quietly on the other side of the room.

Esther: Same suit as ever. And he just, he nodded… he nodded in my direction. And I just, I was beside myself at it. I didn't go over, but he nodded. I think he knew, he knew I'd done well. And he knew it was, it had been a long journey. You know he always had this very gentle disposition. He was sort of like this half smile on his face.

Alex: It was nothing more than a head tilt – but a lot passed between Esther and Mr. Bond in that moment.

Esther: The hours and hours he'd spent just hauling me through sometimes kicking and screaming, sometimes quietly resilient to it. But it was a long journey. And I realised now it had very little to do with my ability in maths, it had to do with someone equipping me with the knowledge that I can; that with enough perseverance and commitments you can do something that you initially thought was impossible.

Alex: Esther’s friends came over in a flurry of excitement and adrenaline.

Esther: I always look back on that day. It's always tinged with a slight regret of I just wish I had gone over. I mean, he’d nodded, he’d acknowledged it, but I look back now, and maybe I just didn't appreciate it at the time of how much he had given in his time and his expertise towards that journey, towards that achievement. But more importantly, towards my change of mindset.

It's really resonated with me later in life with sort of my approach to challenges and being able to overcome things that initially seem like, oh, I can't do it. And I think it’s that that has made me so vehemently an advocate for the growth mindset now, in instructing or teaching or any element, you know, the word yet is a really powerful one. I can't do it yet.

Alex: Esther went on to become a biology teacher – something she wouldn’t have been able to do if she hadn’t got a passing grade in maths.

Esther: Funnily enough, as a science teacher, I actually got given some hours covering some of the maths curriculum with the lowest set. And I remember smiling like oh if Mr. Bond could see me now. Maybe he’d laugh, or maybe he’d think yeah I knew you could.

Alex: It was especially during that difficult moment with her young student when Mr. Bond’s approach came back to Esther. Esther could see that Kareem was really irritated by maths like she had been.

Esther: It was then I went home and I thought of Mr. Bond, I thought he saw that same thing in me, he saw somebody who wanted to do well and just created this block. And it was from there that I sort of I spoke to Kareem and I said look, you've got your GCSEs coming up next year you're going to be starting your GCSE study and you can do this.

Alex: Esther helped Kareem see that with practice he would be able to work through the problems.

Esther: And it was that memory of Mr. Bond changing that for me and taking the time and patience to do so. And it really made me a better teacher

Alex: Esther later left teaching to become a diving instructor.

Esther: You'd have people coming in thinking I can't do this, you know, maybe they've struggled with a skill a couple of times where it's flooding or equipment removal or something and sometimes you can see it almost physically in somebody's body you know, when they decided I can't do this. And it's … it's a dangerous and a powerful thing, that sort of that fear and that self self assessment of decision making. Like I can't do it, that self fulfilling prophecy and being able to pinpoint that and and really tap into it and change that is what's really I think made an impact on me as an instructor and a teacher.

Alex: Listening to Esther’s story powerfully demonstrates the importance of having positive role models in our lives. The value of Mr Bond’s commitment and sacrifice was not limited to Esther’s passing of her maths exam. His efforts and encouragement showed her that what at first seems impossible can eventually be achieved. Mr Bond’s influence has obviously had a profound impact on Esther’s mindset and her career choices. Esther learnt the value of having somebody else see the ability that she couldn’t see in herself. This was a lesson that she drew from in order to help her own student, Kareem. She was able to help him see that just because he couldn’t do something now, that didn’t mean he wouldn’t be able to do it in the future. In maths, just as is often the case in life, there are rarely unsolvable problems, just problems which require a different approach.