00:00:07 Nazish: What if healing isn't just getting back to normal, but becoming sure someone you don't fully recognize yet? In a good way. But sometimes the hardest, hardest part of healing is healing isn't the pain. It is identity shift. The part where you, your old coping stop working and your new self hasn't fully arrived.

00:00:33 Nazish: Welcome to inner peace. Better Health, where we explore mind body connection in a way that feels grounded, gentle, and real. I am Nazar. Today we are talking about something many people feel but struggle to name, how healing changes your internal self and your energy, your patterns, and your sense of identity. I am joined by Holly Bartram, who helps leaders and high achievers step outside chaos, reconnect with their energy, and build habits that support clarity, resilience, and lasting well-being. By the end of this episode, you will have language for internal shift that happens during healing and a few ways to meet those changes with less fear and more trust. Welcome to the show, Holly.

00:01:22 Holly Battrum: Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited for our conversation.

00:01:29 Nazish: Wonderful. So, Holly, healing changes your internal self. When you hear the phrase What do you think is the first internal change people notice? Even if they can't explain it yet.

00:01:41 Holly Battrum: I think often people use language like sort of like, I don't feel like myself or I'm disconnected or I'm unsure about where I am or who am I going to. Right. Like we're taught usually to try to listen to ourselves, but society doesn't really align with that. And so when we, when we go to heal, um, we're actually kind of not really sure where to start. And, and we forget that sometimes that healing, internal healing actually transforms us to something above and beyond of who we were before.

00:02:23 Nazish: that's such a relief to hear, you know, because so many people assume that feeling different means something is wrong when it actually is the first sign that something is finally shifting. So I'm curious, what is the one biggest misconception high achievers often have about healing, especially the internal kind?

00:02:45 Holly Battrum: I think we have this misconception that we have to stop achieving to heal us, or that it has to be this really big, dramatic, um, start over or, or change when that's not always the case. Healing is often messy because we don't always know the direction that we're going first. So we might be stepping through some fog to to get to something much more beautiful.

00:03:15 Nazish: Absolutely. that really lands because, you know, when someone is stuck in a misconception, what tends to happen in their body or emotion, like what are the signs you look for?

00:03:30 Holly Battrum: You know, it might be something as simple as a lot of neck or shoulder pain or stomach discomfort or, um, sort of feeling off, right? And not doing things that we maybe didn't really understand why we are doing or just, you know, disassociation, right? A lot of us are on our phones all the time now and we feel like we're resting, but we're really disconnecting. Um, and sometimes those are the signs that we are wanting to look at, at something deeper.

00:04:05 Nazish: Absolutely. And, you know. Uh, it's not just the mindset issue. It is the nervous system rising, raising its hand like, hey, we can't push through the old way anymore. And that's the powerful starting point.

00:04:23 Holly Battrum: Yeah, I think sometimes that's the truth. You know, um, our nervous system can function in a heightened way for, for a long time. We can use it to get through what we need to do, and that's what it's trained to do. And then, and then as we are sort of that sympathetic dominant system, are other parts or parasympathetic doesn't function as well. And so at some point, stereotypically, you know, we're going to get a message and it's going to be pretty loud. Um, if we haven't heard the smaller messages that we that we have being sent to us.

00:05:04 Nazish: Absolutely. And when someone has been trying to, you know, have been living in chaos or constant output for years, what deeper patterns are there usually protecting? Like, what is their system afraid would happen if they slow down?

00:05:23 Holly Battrum: I think if we're if we're afraid will happen to slow down, is that perhaps we won't be able to start back up again. Or perhaps we'll have to process some things that we've been trying to run from and Relearn what joy and comfort and consistency and contentment really is. I think a lot of times we use our procrastination or use our go, go, go the hustle, um, to continue to move ourselves forward when we don't realize that we can still move ourselves forward, even from a place of connectedness and calmness.

00:06:06 Nazish: Absolutely. under the productivity that is often tender for responsibility and identity, sometimes even grief.

00:06:15 Holly Battrum: Um, grief is such a it's so true. You just said that so well, that and grief might be the first thing that we feel because we might have been, you know, telling ourselves these stories of the ways that we needed to do things or we might have been taught a certain way. And, you know, there's certainly a lot of societal pressures in general to to operate. And I think sometimes that grief shows up that we almost realize like that we've missed out on things or that that even the beauty of, of being connected and calm and, and I use calm in a nervous system standpoint, not necessarily a nonreactive standpoint, but like, um, we start to observe maybe what we've missed or what we can have potentially have. And you're so right that grief, grief can be one of those big emotions. Um, and most of us weren't raised to, to process it or acknowledge it.

00:07:21 Nazish: Absolutely. you know, in your work, how do you help people? start listening to their patterns without turning into self-criticism.

00:07:31 Holly Battrum: Yeah, that it's so important. Um, I think the really big thing is, is we want to start treating ourselves like a friend and we, most of us are not, you know, criticizing our friends, right? So if we can treat ourselves like how we would talk to our best friend about what they're going through and, and start to say our bodies and our minds and all of this stuff is, is so beautiful and they've done so many things to get us through what we've gone through. And, and really, it needs a big hug. And so we, we do often feel betrayed or we criticize ourselves or like, why can't I do this? And, and we want to give so much self-compassion to say, hey, look, these, these are maybe the reasons, then it's not our fault. It's not our fault that we are not operating at the capacity that we want to operate at. Um, but yes, and we can also make changes and start, start optimizing how we experience life. And so I think the beauty is, is that we have, we don't have blame. Um, but we also have power to change.

00:08:57 Nazish: Absolutely. And I love that because healing isn't fixing yourself, it is understanding yourself and understanding how you move through the world.

00:09:06 Holly Battrum: Mhm. It's, it's so true. I think we have sometimes left out that how we move through the world. I, I love to use the concept of proprioception, which is it's actually more about where we are in space with our muscles and everything. But I think where we are in our communities and how we can impact our communities without taking away from ourselves can be done. And in healing is about seeing and feeling and experiencing ourselves within ourselves and within our communities.

00:09:44 Nazish: it feels disruptive. When internal healing begins, What are few real life ways this identity shows up like at work, in relationships, even in how people make decisions?

00:09:56 Holly Battrum: Yeah. So one of the things that I think I see a lot of when we're not feeling par is the inability to make decisions or decisions seem really, really hard. And so healing can actually show up in the ability to make more decisions or more effective decisions, I should say. Um, but healing can be uncomfortable. Sometimes we lose friends over it. Sometimes we change how we're doing certain things, or we're less tolerant of things that were being put upon us that weren't really effective or healthy in the first place. And so healing can be a little bit challenging because sometimes there's an isolation to it and in a good way. And we want to monitor that, of course, but, um, sometimes we need a little bit more space to make sure that we can sort of hold our, our ground and hold our healing process.

00:10:57 Nazish: that is so true. And that feels so real. And like suddenly your old yes doesn't fit anymore. And you know that. Yeah. Scary. Even if it is healthy.

00:11:09 Holly Battrum: It's so true that old. Yes. And, and it's easy to forget that we have like roles, right? Friend roles, family roles, and, and for whatever reason, we're holding those roles. And sometimes when we're healing, those roles change or we want them to change, but we end up pulling at those around us by default, right? Like we're kind of webbed together. And when I sit there and I say, I don't want to be this particular way anymore and I'm going to make changes like I pulled it, somebody potentially around me and their reaction might be discomfort, or it might be frustration or anger. And so then then you think, oh my gosh, maybe I'm doing it wrong. Maybe I'm healing wrong because I've upset someone and it's like, no, no, they just, they just need time to also see your changes and, and how your, you know, your positive impact. Um, but yeah, it's a healing is a pretty interesting can be kind of messy, but beautiful process.

00:12:12 Nazish: Um, yeah, I couldn't agree more with it. You know, the goal isn't to force everyone to understand your healing, it is to stay connected with yourself.

00:12:21 Holly Battrum: Yeah. And reconnect. And, and I think sometimes when we talk about healing, we forget, especially if we've had sort of a health crisis or a life crisis, we, we want to go back somewhere and like, we're like, I want to feel like I used to. And before this happened. And, and I think the beauty is, is, but the hard thing is, is sometimes it's completely unknown. It's actually your stronger or feeling different or a different person afterwards. And that is the healing. And so there's kind of like you said, that grief in the letting go of the yeses in the process of becoming more, um, but if it's not going back to who we were, then, um, that's an interesting experience for ourselves and those around us.

00:13:12 Nazish: So let's get practical. But gently. If someone is trying to reconnect with their energy and body, what is the one small intentional shift that can start creating real internal change?

00:13:29 Holly Battrum: Yeah. So obviously breathwork, um, but I think it can be as simple as taking one moment, um, and maybe putting your, your hand on part of your other body, you know, like maybe your hand on your leg or your hand on your shoulder and, and start to start to say, oh, wait, hang on, what does that actually feel like? You know, is it pain? Is it, is it stress? Is it tightness? Um, when was the last time I ate? When was the last time I went to the Into the bathroom. Start to see if you can hear, uh, those those connections a little bit more. Um, and it doesn't have to be this big, huge event, um, or initially to start, right? It can be as simple as giving yourself a visualization of a stop sign saying, oh, I don't. Hang on, do I need to reach for the phone right now? Do I, do I just need a glass of water? Right? And, and trying a few things as we go initially.

00:14:52 Nazish: And that is so I appreciate that it is small. Because big promises usually trigger more pressure and small shifts feel like safety.

00:15:02 Holly Battrum: Yeah. I think, uh, well-being has Sometimes gotten off track a little bit in the amount of structure. And it's definitely a framework. And we definitely want habits of healthy things that we're doing. And all of this stuff, but it's going to look different for everybody. And, and one thousand percent, if you're, say, exhausted and you're trying to do your long run because you think that's what you need to do, and you want to be able to maybe adapt to say, you know what, I'm going to still get movement in, but it's a shorter run or it's a yoga or qigong or something that's going to build my energy a little bit more just for today, right? And healing, I think has a lot of that. Listening to your own rhythm and adapting to what you're trying to do versus what might work better for you.

00:16:01 Nazish: I believe setbacks can be personal. When someone says, I was doing well and now I'm back to square one. How do you reframe that in a way that actually supports internal healing process?

00:16:15 Holly Battrum: Yeah, that's such a beautiful thing because healing is not linear. So you're almost always going to have little slide backs and, um, but you're never really back to square one because I square one was the person who hadn't tried it yet. And you are going to learn every step of the way. So maybe you slide back to an old habit and your first thought is to shame yourself for it or guilt. Um, and actuality, it's like, oh, hey, that that's okay. Just a little slide. Um, everybody does it. I'm not alone in this and, and I can pick myself back up and, and really what we're looking for if we want to use a habit as an example is as we expect, the slide backs to happen. But every little positive change is a positive change. And the less time you spend in the slide back the first time, like, okay, maybe you derailed and that's okay, but you only derailed for five minutes or a day or a week. Um, that's still a win, right? If you, if you want to say that, oh, I eat your, you know, you're trying to eat cleaner, for example, and you eat, um, fast food for seven days a week, you know, eating fast food for six days a week is actually a win, right? And we forget that every little thing helps, but most things aren't going to ruin. So we have this cyclical like improvement that builds upon and builds upon and builds upon ourselves. So I try to reframe it that way in the sense of like, um, it's, it's not, it's not as dramatic as it feels to ourselves and to build trust to whom you're working with. Um, because if you can't trust in yourself at that very moment, um, know that those are those around you that are, are really believing in you.

00:18:25 Nazish: And because healing isn't linear, it's relational. It's how you respond to yourself when things wobble.

00:18:33 Holly Battrum: Yeah, it's so true when they wobble. And I think, um, I think healing a huge part of healing is responding to that wobble and, um, giving yourself, you know, healing comes with giving that compassion. But to yourself for sure.

00:18:54 Nazish: Absolutely. And, you know, uh, what is the one sign that someone is genuinely healing internally, even if their life still looks messy on the outside?

00:19:05 Holly Battrum: It's our window of tolerance to the mess, right? As we heal, we build up our ability to, um, not over or under react to simplify it, right? And so even if things are not, they're still living in the chaos, right? Because sometimes you have to live in your yeses. Um, it is how the healing starts to show when it's how you're responding to that and how you're adapting to all of the messy things out there and knowing your starting to know your next steps.

00:19:38 Nazish: that is so beautiful because when the outside hasn't caught up yet, but the inside is changing. More awareness, more honesty and more self-trust. And that's not nothing. That's everything.

00:19:53 Holly Battrum: Yeah, I think that's it's just vital. Right? And it's not it's not about having toxic positivity or anything like that. Um, but it's feeling trust and groundedness within yourself.

00:20:10 Nazish: for our listeners who feel like they are lost themselves, like they don't recognize who they are anymore, what would you want them to say to themselves about this in-between season of healing?

00:20:25 Holly Battrum: Well, first off, it's okay that you're there. Um, and sometimes you have to put your front one foot in front of the other foot, even though you don't actually know where you're going. Um, and, and that's okay, but you want to try, you know?

00:20:48 Nazish: Absolutely. That is so beautiful. one thing that I'm going to take away from this conversation is that healing changes your internal self, and that change isn't your problem to solve. It is the truth to learn, to live with.

00:21:04 Holly Battrum: That's very beautiful.

00:21:07 Nazish: Yes. And Holly, for our listeners who want to connect with you in your work and learn more about you, where can they where is the best place for them to find you?

00:21:18 Holly Battrum: Um, I'm on LinkedIn under my name and on Instagram under my name. Um, my website for my business is, um, show corp.com. I'd love to hear from you. Send me a DM, shoot me an email. Uh, all my programming is virtual so I can work with people. Um, if it seems like a good fit, regardless of where they are.

00:21:41 Nazish: Wonderful. So if the if something in today's conversation, Dear listeners, if something in today's conversation stirred for you, maybe it's because a part of you is ready to change. Not into a better performer, into a more honest and steady, internally safe version of you. Thank you so much for joining us today. This is inner peace. Betterhealth. If you want more conversations like this, grounded, human, and supportive. Follow the show. It is a small act of care for your future self. Take a slow breath before you rush back into your day and I'll meet you in the next episode.