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 Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Wedding Lounge Podcast.

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 Now a little while ago we put out on Instagram that we wanted some questions from you, our listeners.

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 So we could answer them in a podcast episode and hopefully it'll help some of you with some

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 questions that you might have. We'll go from there. Exactly. So we haven't actually looked at these

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 before. We've not prepared anything. I've just got the screenshot on my phone. Great. Let's go for it.

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 So one of the first questions that we received was from a bride who has asked, "What's the best

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 time to start planning?" My fiance and I are having this debate at the moment.

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 I think it's when you know you want to get married. Yes. I think if you're one of these couples

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 who gets engaged and plans a long engagement, start planning it when you're ready to get married.

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 I think the hard thing is, if you don't start planning it, you might never. Yeah.

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 Yeah. On it, my mentality when I got engaged was we were engaged to be married. So the same day we

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 got engaged, we came up with a date that we wanted to get married on. So we kind of knew then,

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 even if it's two or three years away, maybe as soon as you come up with a date, I'll sit you in the

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 planning crisis. I'd chosen my date and my venue before he popped up again.

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 Of course you did. I actually took Jamie to a wedding fair this venue. I knew what church we wanted

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 to get married then. And then she went round and I said, "Do you have a 20th of October available

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 next year?" She's like, "We do actually." And it was our fourth anniversary of our first date.

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 So I was like, "Okay." I mean, he had kind of mentioned about looking at rings and things,

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 so we knew it was coming. Yeah, it wasn't just totally out of the blue, but I think the tashes

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 right depends on whether you're planning get married in the next few years or whether you are delaying

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 it. If you are delaying it, then it's hard to know when to start. But in terms of planning in

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 general, I mean, you can plan a wedding in a little less six weeks or you can take two years over it.

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 I would say nine to 12 months is the ideal time to plan a wedding. Yeah. So if you're planning on

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 getting married in five years time, start the actual planning for years into your engagement.

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 One year before you plan to get married, so you've kind of got that ideal length of time because

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 what will happen is you have so much momentum at the beginning. Yes. We'll call the big things.

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 Then you get a big lull, which there is for anyone if they have even nine to 12 months. Exactly.

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 But you kind of want to avoid that as much as possible. You want to keep them in to go in the

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 excitement, go planning a wedding over four or five years will be an absolute slog. So don't give

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 yourself too much time. Yes. Have an idea if you want a long engagement. Great.

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 Set a date when you're going to start planning before the date. So I would say a year before you

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 actually want to have your wedding. Yes. We've got to say for four or five years before that.

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 Say for four or five years and then go into it. Yeah. Definitely. Thank you very much for your

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 question. And I hope that that helps. I don't know when you're getting married, but hopefully

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 you're well on the way. This is coming up this summer. Our next question. Why do people act up

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 before or during weddings and cause drama? Weddings are very like a motivation and everyone

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 might have imagined what your wedding might be like growing up whether they're the parents of

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 a groom or a bride. Everyone wants to be involved because it is a special occasion and everyone

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 loves going to a wedding. They love being involved with it. It's such a happy occasion. Sometimes

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 if people haven't been to weddings for a long time themselves, like older family members,

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 it's something to look forward to. And everyone has an opinion on weddings. Everyone has an

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 opinion and I also find that people who are already married then think they have the knowledge. Let's

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 say, so we want to get involved because they've done it. Yes. It tends to happen quite a lot.

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 And just someone else married a certain way. It doesn't mean your wedding can happen. And I also

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 think there's people that think they have special privileges. So, you know, if you're a sibling

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 or it's your sibling and then suddenly your sibling decides they want to bring their child along.

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 You don't want children at your wedding. There's hard conversations there. And I think that's it.

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 I think why do people act up because drama? It's often because there's been assumptions. There's

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 not been clear communication. And you're right. There are awkward conversations to be had.

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 Trying to work out a budget to family are contributing. That is awkward. Sorting out guess lists.

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 But I think the communication can really try and help to prevent people. We've had this.

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 Personally, as I've mentioned a few times, my brothers getting married this year. Very exciting.

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 He and his fiancee have asked our girls to be part of party. They've asked them to be flower girls.

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 Yeah. But then there was a discussion around them not actually walking up the aisle.

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 And I was like, well, what's the point in them being flower girls if they're not doing that?

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 Fine. That is your preference. And I said that. So we've had that

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 good conversation of it's either you want them to walk up the aisle and wear something specific,

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 rate, or they can wear their own thing and not be part of the bride or party. It can't be in

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 between. Those girls, if they've been asked to be flower girls, will be expecting to walk up the

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 aisle. Yeah. And if that is not what you want, say now and I can have the conversation with them.

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 Yeah, exactly. And that is you need to be direct. Yeah. And it's hard. And it needs to be in a way

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 that you're not hurting anyone's feelings or it's not causing drama. This is your wedding.

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 Yes. It needs to be the way you want it to be. And if someone has an assumption,

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 you need to push that off the knees, squash it. It's all about clear communication. And

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 just the motions do run high with weddings. And they and especially if there's other people

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 paying and yeah, money, family, family politics, family drama. Yeah. All gets in the way. Exactly.

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 I mean, we had lots of drama with our wedding. I won't bore you of that, but it just

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 happens. I mean, even clients, I can't think of a single client who hasn't had maybe some sort of

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 family dynamic to work or a friend dynamic. It doesn't even need to be a family dynamic.

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 Yeah. And it doesn't have to be that necessarily drama. But there's always something.

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 Yes. I think if you think someone's going to kick up a stink at your wedding and cause drama

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 unnecessarily, and you feel this is going to happen, rather than that weighing heavily on you

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 as the couple getting married, but someone in charge of that person. So if they start, you know,

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 they're the type of person that's going to stand up during the ceremony and say that they object.

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 Totally extreme there. Obviously, you can't do that unless there's a legitimate legal reason.

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 Yep. Have someone who you can turn to and be like XYZ may potentially want to cause disruptions.

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 Please, can you keep half an eye and make sure that doesn't happen? I've had to do that as the

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 planner. Yes. I've been asked as a planner to keep an eye on things for and try and be a neutral person

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 to try and maybe alter the course of a... Yeah. Exactly. But then it just takes the pressure off

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 you as a couple and the worry of you as a couple. So hopefully that's answered your question.

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 Yeah. It's hard to avoid. It's in the live time. I think clear communication is one of the best

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 ways you can try and limit the amount of drama around the wedding. Next question. How much entertainment

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 do my guests need after a one o'clock ceremony? Is it DJ enough from 730 onwards? I think you need

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 background noise. Yeah. So I think after your ceremony, even if you just have a speaker playing

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 some background music, I think it just creates a bit of an atmosphere. You don't have to spend a

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 load of money on it at all. A DJ from half seven until the end of the night. It depends when it is.

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 And it depends if you've got anything added to the DJ. 730 to say 1134 hours of just a DJ. You're not

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 going to have a full dance floor the whole time. I don't think you might want to add a different

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 element maybe for certain part of it. Add someone on a sax or a bongos or something just to add a

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 different element to it. Because obviously if you have a bat, you say this. My best friend who got

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 married on quite a tight budget. They created a playlist. It started around half past seven and

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 went until the end of the night midnight. Oh wow. They curated this playlist themselves. They

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 didn't even spend money on a DJ. Yeah. The tunes were off the chain. Yeah. And they were so it was

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 so good. And they had catered for everyone and it was so well curated. Yeah. I think if you have

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 really good faith in your DJ, they can do it. But you need to make sure that that DJ is bringing

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 the hype. Yeah. And that is bringing the evening entertainment. It depends. You might not want

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 a fancy evening. But if you do, you need to be really controlling. I think it's fine and it would

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 last. If you have the budget, yes, go for something live that's going to pull everyone in.

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 But I think in terms of entertainment, think just having sort of a drinks reception after the

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 ceremony. Some background music to say just on a playlist, just something you don't need to put on

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 live performances and oyster sugars or anything like that. But I would suggest maybe keeping your drinks

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 reception relatively concise. Yeah. An hour and a half absolute tops. Yeah. And then obviously people

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 will be enjoying conversation and everything. Yes. And then during the dinner, you don't need any

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 background music if you don't want or just a full playlist. And then the evening is the really,

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 really good selection of tunes that like progress through the night. Yeah. You don't need to entertain

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 your guests. No. You just need to have something in the background. Yeah. It's nice to entertain them.

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 It isn't a necessity. You don't need to put on a performance for it. Enjoy your conversation.

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 They'll talk to new people. You could even do something simple at dinner to people talking to

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 other people as entertainment or even just like a little game or people do cards or quizzes.

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 You know, it doesn't have to be a big budget. You could just do something small like that over dinner.

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 Just if you feel that you need something to entertain the guests. Yeah. But it doesn't have to be

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 big budget. Just carefully thought about. Yes. So hopefully that helps. Then we have got one here.

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 Wow. Getting married abroad. So it's twofold. It's about where to start with planning a wedding

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 abroad. And then also a question I guess about planning like what to think about with a planning

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 a party back home. Yeah. Afterwards. So where to start with planning abroad? I think when you're

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 starting planning abroad, you need to think about where you want to go. There's lots of people

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 love the idea of abroad, but then they go, I beat them. You can swing Italy. They're all so different.

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 Yeah. You need to find the vibe that's right for you. Yeah. And someone that means something

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 to you maybe or you want it to mean something makes it forward. Exactly. And then I would think about

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 your list numbers. Are you planning a small wedding abroad or a large wedding abroad? And that

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 will kind of help you determine budgets. Yes. Yeah. And because if you're planning a large

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 wedding abroad and you're taking everyone out with you or you're taking like my brother 50% of the

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 guests are coming from the UK. Yeah. You need to plan something for that whole weekend. You can't

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 just explain them to fly to Barbados or Sri Lanka or something like that for a wedding.

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 11 hours of vacation. Yeah. It needs to be a whole wealth auto thing. And if you're taking a small

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 wedding party, that's kind of the ideal situation for them having something back home.

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 Infinite. Again. But I think once you've chosen your location, either enlist a planner abroad or

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 once you found your venue, they often have wedding planners, four couples who are getting married

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 using as a destination wedding. Yeah. Because they will know local customs, they will know local

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 suppliers, unless you're paying to bring out suppliers from the UK, you probably want to use

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 suppliers who are based in that country to be a bit more economical with your budget. They will

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 have the best knowledge. I mean, I've never planned one abroad. I don't know if I would know it.

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 I mean, obviously I know where to start with a wedding, but in terms of suppliers and things,

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 it must be quite a different ballgame. Have you known one abroad? No. I have potentially got one.

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 I'm 2027 in Ibiza. Nice. So it's lots of research has to go. Yeah. Not that beforehand.

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 Have you visit the place? Yes. Is it where you kind of want to get married? I think that is crucial.

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 And include that within your budget as well, because you might have to fly out there a couple of times

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 and you're tasting like a run-through. Yeah. Those sort of things you don't really want to be doing

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 over Zoom. No. So if you're on a tight budget, it might not be the most sensible thing to do.

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 Definitely. And also just thinking about whether that's a guest list, if they're paying,

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 you need to think, is it somewhere where your guests can afford to come? Will they be able to get

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 time off? Yeah. They don't need to take more time off. So there's lots of different things to think

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 about with an abroad wedding, but I just think utilizing the best of the local expertise for a

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 planner who maybe is based in the UK who specialises in destination or has at least the experience

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 of planning weddings anywhere. Yes, it is definitely helpful. Yeah. And then with the party back home,

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 I think the easy thing to do, I would say, to help keep the costs down is just make it a party.

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 You know, just food, drink, bring your own booze if you need to, just to hire a space,

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 some good music, good food. You don't need to put on a whole wedding. No. Again. No.

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 And if you want to wear your dress again, great. Yes. But if you don't, it doesn't need to be anything.

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 We can't be fancy if you want it to be, but it doesn't have to be. No. Just needs to be a chance

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 you to celebrate with those people that couldn't come out. Yeah. Just a burger van or even a buffet or

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 anything, bring your own booze party. They had gone and got married on Lake Clomo. And then they

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 came back and they had a party. So we had an Italian inspired god party. Wow. Very relaxed. They

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 had gelato. They had pizzas and they had, you know, a bar that served like aprosperits and things

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 like that. But we kept it really, really simple. They then had slide shows and the pictures from the

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 wedding. Lotted around. So then that just meant that people could see the wedding that had actually

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 happened. But it was quite a nice way to bring the two together. Oh, yeah. I went to one actually.

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 I was just remembered. And they got married literally two days before and it didn't. And then had

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 some pictures of the wedding blown up. Yeah. She wore her dress. And yeah, it's really embarrassing to do.

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 Yeah. But it doesn't have to be too much. Don't think it was a wedding. Just think of it. It's food,

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 drink, music. The nice thing is going back to this whole drama issue for the question of

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 you questions. Okay. Takes away from that. Yeah. Because I think it takes a pressure off in the UK.

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 Oh, the UK party. Yeah. You can take a destination wedding. You could just go in a lobe, you and two others.

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 Yeah. Which one? Cool drama. Yeah. But I don't know how I'm standing. Your family and friends are.

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 You've either got to have a teeny tiny wedding abroad where you don't invite anyone. Yeah. Or literally

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 just immediate family. Immediate family. And then have a big party back home. Or have big enough

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 wedding abroad that you don't need to do anything back home. And just be really strict with your

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 guest numbers. Yeah. Sometimes I think we feel like we have to invite all these people that maybe

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 you don't need to invite. No, no, definitely not. Especially if you're going abroad, you just want to

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 invite like colleagues like that. Yeah. Brilliant. Right. Oh, this is an interesting one. What do we

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 think makes the best weddings? Is it the people, the venue, the entertainment, the alcohol?

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 For me, I think it's, but I'm a big, I like music and food. Yes, music and food. Well, the people

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 obviously. Grace, when we were getting married, the things that were important to him was bar,

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 band and the food. They're the big things. You get the people that concentrate on the

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 the record and the style and things like that. But how many people after the wedding, unless it was

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 wow, wow. Yeah. But it is, it's those, it's those things that bring people together food,

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 brings people together drink brings people together. Yeah. Dancing brings people together. They are

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 the things that, and I think we have really similar clients. Yeah. That is they're not, you know,

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 you do get the clients that are really style-led and style-focused. Don't get me wrong. The weddings

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 that we produce are beautiful. Yeah. They're not, that's not what they're about. No, they're all about

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 the experience. Exactly. And the guest experience, I think you're right. The guest experience is

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 the most important aspect of the wedding. And it is, it's the people and the fun, yeah, make a wedding.

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 And I don't think the venue necessarily has too much of an impact,

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 unless you've got the lol period. So that transition, so maybe the the whole guest experience is what

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 makes a wedding. So making sure that every point is well thought out and curated. Because if you have

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 like in a venue where you've got to leave the dining room so that they can turn it round into a

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 evening venue, you need to have something in that lol period to stop that down before the

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 outcomes get. Because it's really hard to bring people cut from that moment. Well, yeah, I think

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 the right, the most important thing is thinking about what your guests be doing and where they'll be.

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 Yeah. And another question we have is, why does everything involving a wedding need to have an

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 extra thousand pound on the bill? This is a really, I think, is quite a controversial topic because

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 the wedding tax, yeah, as it is called, is, I don't think it is something, but there is an added

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 pressure with a wedding day. Yeah. But it doesn't come from hosting many other events. Latering,

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 I don't think they put a wedding tax on. The hard thing is is when you compare it to a party

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 or any other event, they don't start two o'clock in the afternoon and go on two o'clock in the

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 morning. It's the time that is within that day. It's not necessary. So everyone has to be there

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 earlier in the morning. So you kind of, you know, you've got your supplies arriving from eight

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 o'clock in the morning whenever they can get in to be ready and set it up in the day before

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 four one o'clock exactly. Yeah. I think that has quite a lot to do with it. I think it's to do with

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 the time that people put in, it makes it feel like there's a wedding tax, but there isn't

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 a wedding set. People are getting married tend to need a little bit more touch points throughout

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 the whole set. They might have more questions, they want to have more meetings, more reassurance,

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 quite often with party clients that go, right, I just want to party. Well, this for the band,

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 but I mean, how long did you take to plan your party for five hundred guests less than four months?

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 Right. Could you do that with a wedding necessarily? No. No. No. Yeah. You need, you need,

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 the small elements to it as well with the whole ceremony, like you don't have that at a party,

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 there's things to think about, but I think even from like a florist, a florist creating something for

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 party, there's kind of it's probably a bit more flexible. But also there's not the both case of

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 the budget, yeah, it's like, there are many powers, the logistics of moving that. Yeah. I don't,

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 it's not really a wedding tax, it's just there is more to it. Yeah. And I think if people didn't want

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 to pay that wedding tax, then they'd have to get a wedding and don't get, you'd get the party

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 service that you wouldn't be able to contact that. I know one of the biggest things is makeup and

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 people go, oh, like bridal makeups more expensive than this and that. But for example, like,

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 why bride would cost more than a bride's made is because the makeup artist or hair stylist would

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 take longer on the bride. Yeah. They would have a trial. Yeah. They have the trial is often

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 included in the price. There's more pressure. They want to make sure that that bride is perfect.

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 They've got to allow for time to do touchups. So as the bride's made, they don't necessarily get

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 level of service. So that's why that would differ as well. Yeah. I think that is the only point where

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 you actually notice a substantial difference. I was going to say that actually I charge more for

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 weddings, but the amount of hours I put in. I was thinking that from a full clamp especially. Yeah.

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 I have a higher minimum fee for weddings and I charge a slightly higher percentage. Like, with

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 a party, I'm not doing a ceremony. No. I have nothing involved for church, the logistics of having

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 to drive there on the day to go to church and have tools to think about. And everything is,

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 you get much quicker responses. Yeah. You send a party client, you send them two options for

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 caterers and they go, yeah, like that one. I mean, sometimes you only send them one. Yeah.

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 Because they're just like, yeah, that's great. That's bang on budget. If you are not as involved,

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 that if you just want party, do an evening. Why do I like that? Yeah. Which are less expensive,

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 because there's less involvement. Definitely. Which is more involved with

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 it wedding and more pressure. Yes. There's more more hours involved before the wedding. Yeah.

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 There is with any other event. And same person's actually asked about is having good entertainment,

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 a great idea for guests, or can they be a waste of time as people are drinking and mingling. For

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 example, I love a magician, but can't be bothered to pay for one. Always a person. I think we've

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 answered that with the. Yeah. I think if you've got the budget, if not, people just want to be

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 there to celebrate. Exactly. And are you going to enjoy the magician? You as the couple

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 guessing married, aren't going to take the time to really enjoy the magician. Why are you putting

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 it on for your guests? That your guests are capable of talking to each other and entertaining themselves.

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 When you're right to drink, they'll be happy. Exactly. In a sociable mood. If they're starving,

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 cold and thirsty, then they're probably not going to mingle. If they're, if the drink and food,

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 flowing, a little bit of atmosphere. The entertainment works really well is if you need to break the

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 ice. Yes. So if you have two sides that literally don't really know each other and don't interact

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 or my brother, ask them speak French, ask them speak English. That's a moment where you need something

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 to kind of pull people together in a way that they won't have thought of. Definitely. That doesn't

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 need to cost anything. No, exactly. And I think with the right atmosphere, the guests will have

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 a brilliant time anyway. This one, what do couples most often underestimate when planning a wedding?

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 Their entire budget? Yeah. I was just about to say how much things cost. And it's hard because no one,

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 most people haven't planned a wedding before. No, but it's the way that, and it happens time and time

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 again, the way that people go into planning their wedding is they book one thing, they book the

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 next thing, they book the next thing and then oh god, they've got no budget left. Yeah. Or they've

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 gone over budget. Set a budget to begin with and break it down and know what you have to spend on

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 each element. Yes. We've done an episode right back February 25 was about how to, I think,

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 February or March 25, how to break down your wedding budget. And that's just the best place to start.

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 Yeah. Because then you are fully aware of what you've got to spend. And you can tweak it. Yeah.

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 If you end up spending slightly less on your photographer, you go and watch that band

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 about £500 more. Right, we'll pay that. We can either add another £500 to the budget or

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 scrape £50 up here or there. So I think that is definitely how much things cost is one of the

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 biggest things that couples underestimate. Again, where is money best spent for maximum impact

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 and where can we save without it showing? I personally think that money is best spent on the

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 experience, the food, drink, drink and the music. Yeah. As I said, like the decor is,

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 by the buy. Yeah. I think if people are well-fed, entertained with some good music,

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 then why don't I'm happy if I'm fed up? Yeah. And now I agree with you. And the other thing is,

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 I think obviously in a market it's slightly different because it's a big white blank canvas,

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 but in a venue, a venue normally has some atmosphere itself. When you go for a big dinner or something,

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 their core is usually minimal. I think it's the guest experience is where the money is best spent,

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 feeding your guests well, even if it's, you know, you want to do it as food trucks and things like that.

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 That's enough food. But 60 per cent of your 60 to 70 per cent depending should be on your food and

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 drink and venue. Yeah, definitely. It's a huge proportion. Yeah. And then where can you save without

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 it showing? Bridal party hair and makeup. Yes. Yeah. Cut down on your bridal party. Yeah.

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 Bridal party. Your guest numbers? Yes. Yes. Numbers is one easy way to save budget. I think also

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 where you can not where it wouldn't show, but you can be a bit cleverer with your use of flowers

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 with everything. Yeah. And similarly with your decor, if it's like a statement piece, move it,

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 or have a statement piece. Yeah. And then you can DIY a lot of tablescapes and stuff like that. I do

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 think if you're really tight on budget, that you guess the best time? 100 per cent. That is the

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 first place because that is a £250 per cent cost on average. Yeah. It's an easy way. And then you've

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 got more budget to spend and make their experience. Yes. Much more fulfilling. Yeah.

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 Brilliant. Well, thank you so much, everyone, for sending in your question. I think we should do

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 another one of these in a few months time. Definitely. Yeah. If you've got any more questions,

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 do pop some over on Instagram or send us a message on either Natasha Spencer events or the country

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 blush on Instagram, if you need to. We're also really keen to start understanding how many listeners

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 and followers. So please do follow us on Instagram, send us comments and subscribe. Subscribe to the

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 podcast, whether you listen on Apple, Amazon, Spotify, subscribe so that every Tuesday morning

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 5 a.m. But you will know that the latest episode of the wedding lounge podcast has been launched.

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 We look forward to speaking to you next week. Have a good one. Bye!