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Shawna Rodrigues [00:00:00]:

Do you have things in your life that help you to recharge and give you a bit of a boost? Today's conversation is all about Not only finding those things, but how to utilize them. Jacquelyn calls them battery chargers, and she lets you know how to be more strategic about the things that -- add to your life and help you get through things that are a bit more challenging because let's be honest, we all have challenges. The cool thing about today's format is this is actually a guest episode. You getting to hear straight from Jacquelyn from her podcast. Did you listen to last week's episode on boundaries? If you didn't, you need to go back and check out episode 47. It is a great one. We have a great rapport, and I really enjoy talking to Jacquelyn. She's a fabulous coach with lots of wisdom to offer. And part of my work with Authentic Connections Network is amplifying more of the amazing women who podcast. Because in case you haven't heard me mention it, there aren't enough women in podcasting. And to keep women in podcasts, We need to be amplifying those voices and giving you more exposure to the great podcasts that are out there that feature women as hosts. So I'm sharing one of those with you this week with Jacquelyn's podcast, Life in the Driver's Seat. She's generous with her knowledge and is letting me share this with you so that you can check it out. This is an episode that really resonated with me, and that's why I chose it. It gives you clear guidance on figuring out what exactly you do that helps you to recharge and then how to implement them in strategic ways to make your life flow a little easier. I think you'll get a lot out of it. And you'll enjoy connecting with Jacquelyn a little bit more. Be sure to check out her podcast, Life in the Driver's Seat. It's anywhere you listen to podcast, where you're listening to this one right now, and there's a link in the show notes to help you out. So as part of being in the Grit Show community, we're excited about all the ways you can enhance and improve your world, and that includes listening to more podcasts, with great folks like Jacquelyn. Here she is.

Jacquelyn Emery [00:02:16]:

I hope everyone is doing well. I hope you are all feeling energized and happy and just feeling good because that is what today's topic is all about. So if you're not, don't worry. You are in the right place. So where are all of my, like, exhausted, overwhelmed ladies at? That's who I'm gonna be talking to today. mean, I can talk to men too, but I feel like this subject will really help a lot of the women listening. So we're going to be talking about ways to keep your battery charged. So you're feeling your best and you're feeling energized and just lit up inside. Because too many of us, women, especially, are just running around exhausted, trying to get all of the things done that need to be done and just being everything for everyone and thinking that there just isn't time or energy left to focus on our self. And, you know, the things that would energize us and bring us joy and bring us happiness. And this is what these things are what I'm going to call your battery chargers. So maybe you're listening to this and You're just getting through your days. Like, you feel like you're just getting through your days and getting your to do list done. Like, you know, taking the kids to school into all the sports and all the appointments. and maybe you're working and cleaning and doing favors when that friend calls, and you're, you know, trying to be a good friend and a good spouse or a good partner. And before you know it, like, the day's over, and you're exhausted and worn out, and you just go to bed to get up and do it all over again. And I think there's a few reasons that we do this. Like, our life turns into this. Like, I think we either, like, feel guilty for focusing on our self. Like, we feel like, you know, we must do all of these things and, b, all of these things for all of these people. Or we simply just aren't being intentional with, like, charging our battery and making that a priority. Like, we're just in the, you know, the passenger seat of our life, like I call it, just living unconsciously and just getting through the day. And I call this way of let of living, like, surviving life. It's when we're just stuck in a rut living life on autopilot and just kind of watching our days pass us by. And I hear so many women. Right? Like, they think it's, like, this season of life. Like, when we're out of this season or when there's more time, you know, we'll get around to doing the things that matter to us and make ourselves and our happiness and our results a priority and a focus. And the truth is we need to do that right now because the problem is we think we need to, you know, do all of the things and check off the to do list and please everyone in order to create a good life. But when our battery isn't charged, it becomes much more difficult to do that, to get all of the things done. Like, we think we have to do all of the things, so we don't have time to charge our battery. But it's like when we don't take the time to charge our battery, That's when it becomes very hard to get all of those things done. Right? Like, we hit it backwards. Not to mention, like, we aren't enjoying our life. Right? Our life's just passing us by. Like, this life we're working so hard for, we aren't even able to get enjoyment out of it. So when our battery is drained, everything suffers. Like, this is when you find yourself, like, yelling at your kids and beating yourself up for, you know, not being more patient. This is when you find yourself, you know, complaining and nagging at your partner and noticing every little thing that they're doing wrong. Like, this is when you find yourself not making good choices when it comes to your health and your habits, and then you wonder why you can't stay consistent. But when we make, like, charging our battery a priority, everything else falls into place. When your battery is charged, it just flows out of you and affects everything and everyone around you. That's when it's not a struggle to get through that to do list. Right? We think we need to get it done in order to someday feel better, but the truth is we need to charge our battery. and then getting it done becomes easy. When you make charging your battery a priority, you start enjoying your life now in the everyday. Like, you want emotional well-being, less stress, and anxiousness, and worry. like, more peace and joy and happiness, focus on charging your battery. When your battery is charged, that's when you experience you know, your relationships in a whole new way. You're able to create habits and improve your health. You're able to be a better employee or business owner and make more money. you're able to feel more happiness and purpose and fulfillment in your life.

Jacquelyn Emery [00:07:17]:

So today I'm going to walk you through 3 tips to charging your battery, and then I have a quick bonus tip to give you. Okay? So let's dive in. And really quick, I do want to mention here, like, you first want to audit your life. So in the last episode, Like, this is kind of a two part series, but each one can just be a standalone episode. But if you didn't listen to the last one that was on battery drainers. Do listen to that one. Like, you still listen to this one, but do go back and just listen to that one. because I walked you through really taking a look at the battery drainers in your life so you can address that before getting into you know, adding in or focusing on the chargers. I see so many people wanting to just add things into their life. But it's not sustainable. Like, there just isn't room. I liken it to, like, decorating on top of decorations. Like, we need to clear the room first. So it's important to 1st check your life for the drainers, the things that are draining you and remove or minimize those. So make sure to check out the previous episode when you get a minute. Okay. So the first step or the first tip I want to walk you guys through is actually creating a tool. We're gonna create a tool called an energizing activity menu. Okay. And this is a tool that you can use at any time. So I want you to actually create this tool and put it on, like, the notes of your phone. So I have this in the notes of my phone so that at any time, I can just pull this tool out and I can use it. And I'm gonna tell you how to use it in just a second. So to create your energizing activity menu, I simply want you to ask yourself what activities light you up? What are things that you do that really just make you feel happy and good and energized. Okay? Like, what are the things that you do in probably don't feel like you don't have time to do, but they really just make you feel good. So maybe it's, you know, taking a walk in nature or taking a bath or getting coffee with a girlfriend or maybe it's painting or playing an instrument Maybe you play music. Maybe it's golfing. Like, what are the activities that just really bring you a lot of joy? And I want you to just list all of those activities all of your energizing activities. And this is, like, a menu. Okay? So a menu meaning that you can literally order off this menu. You can order. like peace and happiness and energy right off the menu. Okay? So I want you to make a list of all of those activities on this. And, again, Think about doing it on your phone or in a note of your phone so that you can use it or in a Google Doc or something like that. And then I'm gonna tell you just three ways you can use this tool once you create it. Okay. The first way you can use it is to look at that list and then intentionally add one menu item to your week. like, every week, choose one of those things and, like, put it into your week intentionally. The second way you can use this tool is to simply, like, pull something off of the menu. Like I said, just order energy and happiness, just pull something off of this. when you're feeling down. Like, you just notice yourself feeling down. Your energy is drained. You're like, oh, I'm gonna go to my menu and pull something off and recharge my battery. And then the 3rd way you can use this, and I love using it this way. You can pair like, one of these things off of the menu when you have an activity that drains you. Okay? So say you know, like I always use, like, me paying the bills or, like, doing the business paperwork. I'm like, ugh. So say I know I'm gonna have to do that. And he will say, like, on Friday, I have to do bill stuff. then I can purposely schedule one of my energizing activities on the same day. So I'm like, okay. Yeah. I have to do all of the business paperwork on Friday in the morning. But then I have a super fun coffee date planned with my girlfriend. So I know, like, I have this energized activity planned after my battery's drained to really keep me feeling good and keep me feeling my best. Okay? So those are the ways you can use the energizing activity menu, and highly suggest you use that tool. This is actually something I have my clients do in my program is create this tool. So let's get into the second tip with the second thing I wanna talk about today with charging your battery, and that is people. Okay. So just like in the last episode, we talked about there are people in your life who drain your battery. Right? But there are also people in your life who charge your battery. And what do I mean by that? Like, there's people in your life who just make you feel good. Okay? They make you feel more energized. You know, when you leave them, you just feel really good. So I was at, like, a a girl's night, and one of the girls there -- was talking about. She said, you know, when I hang out with Jacquelyn, when I leave, I always get so much done. Like, I leave, and I am so productive. Like, I get so much done. We were all just kinda laughing about it. And then the funny thing is I was recording a podcast a couple days ago, and the host who I recorded with had sent me a text, and she said, I'm still getting so much done after hanging out with you. I felt so productive. I was telling my husband, like, I felt so productive we recorded together and spent the morning together. And so that's what I'm talking about, like, there's people that will charge your battery. Right? Like, certain people, when you're with them, will make you feel more energized and more productive. And even like your health so my friend, Cheryl, one of my dearest friends. She always tells people, like, that when she's feeling sick, she likes to hang out with me because she swears that when we hang out, like, she gets physically feeling better. Like, she says when she's sick, when we hang out, she gets on the mend. Like, she gets feeling better. So it's, like, physically, like, your body just feels better. Right? You feel, again, more energized, happier emotionally. Physically, you feel better. Those are going to be your battery charger. So I want you to think of the people in your life who make you feel that way. Like, when you hang out with them, you leave, and you're just, like, your battery's charged. You're like, I feel so good. I'm gonna go get a bunch of stuff done. I feel so uplifted and energized and productive, and I want you to think of those people in your life. And then I want you to ask yourself, like, how can you prioritize more time with those people. Okay? Like, how can I be intentional with prioritizing time with these people and be intentional with building those relationships. k? Like, with the people who make me feel that way. How can I really be intentional with building those relationships? And something I really wanna point out here is when you think of this list, like, make it, like, 5 people. Hey. Like, who are the five people in your life that you really want to invest in. And one of those could be like your partner or your spouse or whatever. But it doesn't have to be many because what I see, like, I have clients -- come to me. And, like, I've heard this a lot, but they're like, oh, I, like, need more friends, and I need to, like, you know, start making time for more friends and all these people. And they think that they like, have to be keeping up with all of these people, and they have this guilt that they're not keeping up with all these people, or they think it means something about them if they have a lot of friends and they need to you know, make a lot of new friends and all this stuff, and it becomes very, like, overwhelming to keep up with that. And, like, we spread ourselves so thin, and then it becomes, like, not this battery charging thing. Right? It becomes one more thing that we spread ourselves out and, like, drains us. So just know you don't have to have, like, a lot of people in your life when I'm talking about, you know, getting battery chargers into your life like Maybe it's just a couple people. I will say one thing I am very intentional about, I intentionally keep my circle and my friends, like, It's a small circle. Like, I don't, like, really prioritize a lot of different friendships in my life. Like, I keep that intentionally very small because I am very protective of, you know, the time that I'm spending and the energy that I'm spending, and I'm just very protective over that. And so I'm very intentional with how I spend that, how I spend my time and my energy. Okay? So it doesn't have to be a lot of people think, like, quality over quantity. And I really think that just gives you, like, so much peace and just allows you to be really intentional with your time and your energy. Just a little side note there. Okay. So let's go on to the 3rd tip or the 3rd topic, and that is your thoughts and, arguably, the most important thing I'm going to talk about today. Okay. So using your thoughts -- to charge your battery. And I didn't talk about this in the battery draining 1, and I totally should have. Like, nothing in your life drains or charges your battery more than your own thoughts. Okay? I'm gonna say that again. There is nothing that drains or charges your battery more than your own thoughts. And the great news is those are a choice. Like, those are optional. But most people are, you know, walking through life, like, getting through life, -- completely unconscious or unaware of the thoughts running through their head that are absolutely draining them. They're absolutely affecting the way they feel on an everyday basis. And then the actions that they're able to take and the results that they're able to create in their life. And nothing will change how you feel. I promise more than addressing your own thoughts. Like, when we're walking around, Like, most women are, like, walking around thinking, you know, there's not enough time. There's so much to do. When will this season of life be over? or thinking bad thoughts about themselves even. Like, maybe you're thinking bad thoughts about yourself. Like, why can't I lose weight? What's wrong with me? You know, I wish I had so and so's spouse or their house or their money or their circumstance. And we're thinking all of these thoughts that are draining us of our energy and our joy. But we can intentionally use our thoughts to charge our battery. But, again, this takes being intentional, where most people are just in the passenger seat of their life. They're just cruising through life unconsciously, like, not even aware of the thoughts going on in their head. And The work I do with my clients and inside of my program is teaching you to be intentional. Intentional with the thoughts that you're thinking, which leads to the way you feel. If you're feeling like shit and feeling exhausted and overwhelmed and sad and anxious and worried, Like, guess where all of those feelings are coming from? Your thoughts. Like, whether you want to believe that or not is totally up to you, but that is the truth. And you probably think it's from, you know, what your husband is doing to you or your friends or your kids or the situation you're going through. or, you know, the upbringing you had, but that is not what is causing you to feel all of those things. It is your thoughts that you're thinking about all of those things. I promise you. And that is the deep work. And that is the work I do with my clients, and it changes everything. It changes everything about how you feel. and how you're able to show up for your life and the actions that you're able to create and the results you're able to create in every area of your life. So using our thoughts to charge your battery is, like I said, it's arguably the most important thing I'm talking about today because everything stems from it. like, every result you create or do not create in your life. Because most people think it's act Right? They think they need to, you know, do all of these things and get through this to do list. And then when I'm out of this season, I can focus on doing, you know, all of these things for me and do do do. Do. and then I can feel better. But it all comes from your thoughts. It all comes from the way you're thinking about it. Like, even time, times in your head too. Like, if you think you don't have time, you're gonna feel what? Overwhelmed. And then guess what? You're not going to have enough time. Like, charging your battery starts with changing your thinking. The thoughts that you're thinking every single day. that are making you feel the way that you feel. So there is a great book called The Power of Positive Thinking. It's a great Christian author, and he wrote it out, like, on this subject. Right? Using our thoughts to intentionally, like, change how we feel and change our life. And What he did in the book is he pulled out some, like, really good verses from the bible, and one of them was I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Like, what an empowering, like, thought. Right? So so if you know me, I am not a morning person. Okay? I stay up late. I don't love the morning. So I was on this kick. I'm gonna get up early, and I was using this thought. Right? Like, as soon as my eyes would open, I'd be like, ugh. And then I would say, I can do all things through Christ to strengthens me, like, even get up at this hour. And it's so so funny because it should be such, like, an easy thing, and it's hilarious. But it's such a good, like, example, right, of, like, how we can intentionally change the way we feel. Right? It's like it's like, bring it at me. Like, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Like, bring it at me. I can do it all. Right? Like, how empowering, even getting up earlier, the hardest thing I'm faced with. But it's, like, such a good example. So definitely check that book out. It's so good. And there are so many, like, intentional thoughts we can use to charge our batteries. So you know, you need to think about those. Okay? So think of your own, but, like, opening your eyes and saying, like, today is going to be a great day. Like, woah. What a way to start your morning. Right? Like, 2023 is going to be my best year. Okay? I am so blessed in so many ways. I'm so grateful for x yz. Like, I am, you know, using my gifts. I am filled with purpose. I am, like, whatever. Like, you think of the thoughts that you want to intentionally think to charge your battery. Okay? Because, again, just like our thoughts can completely drain us and They are draining most people. You can also use those to charge your battery, and you just need to be intentional with that. figure out what those thoughts are. Like, I literally have a note on my phone. It just labeled thoughts. And for every category in my life, I have all of these, like, empowering thoughts that I can direct my brain to. So versus, like, just taking what your brain's offering you. Right? Today sucks. I'm unhappy in my body. Why can't I make more money? It's cloudy outside. My husband didn't pick up towel. Like right? Like or we can be intentional. So for this exercise, let's start simple and simply write out 5 thoughts. k? Write out 5 thoughts that you can use to intentionally charge your battery. And this, again, this isn't just positive thinking. I want you to really think of, like, what is true. Like, I was on another podcast, like, a week ago, and she was saying, oh, yeah. Like, thinking the the opposite thing. And I was like, not necessarily. And she said, I love you pointed that out, but it's, like, not necessary. It's not, like, oh, I'm thinking this. So I need to, like, think the opposite. It's like, no. This isn't just, like, positive thing. I want you to really think about, like, what is true? -- and what you would rather direct your brain to instead of just accepting what it's offering to you, like, what is true, what's, like, the thing that might be a little bit better or, like, you know, like, what's the next best thing we can grasp? Like, what is true and what would you rather direct your brain to? and what do you want to focus on in order to charge your battery. Okay? And, again, you can put these in your phone. It's just so you can easily reference them. Okay? But just start out simple. Think of 5. Put them in your notes so you can easily reference them and use them. And within my program, my Life in the Driver's Seat program, we can go deep into this work. And I teach my clients tools that they can use to really start practicing their new thoughts until they become their new beliefs. The beliefs are just thoughts that you've thought on repeat. Okay? Like, Thoughts, thought on repeat, will become your beliefs, and eventually they become your identity. Okay? So it becomes like, not something that you have to try. I think, like, when we repeat and we practice our new way of thinking, like, these new thoughts, It becomes something that we don't have to, like, try and do and try and think, but it actually becomes, like, what we believe. It becomes, like, my client's new ID entity. Okay? And this work seems so simple, and yet it is so profound in your life. And this is when you start really becoming the person capable of creating change in any and every area of your life. Like, when you start creating a life you love and getting so much more enjoyment out of the life that you're in. Okay? So now I just wanna give you, like, a quick bonus tip of a way to charge your battery that doesn't take -- any extra time. Because what I hear from so many people is that they feel like they just don't have time. Right? Like, they have so much to do. They don't have time to charge their battery and, you know, make a difference in how they feel and make themselves a priority. So I wanted to throw this in because it's something that I do that really charges my battery and takes no extra time out of your life. Okay? And that is how we spend our time in the car, like drive time. That is just extra found time. Okay? It's like we're all doing it. We're all traveling, driving around, and it's just this, like, wasted time where usually we just, like, put on music or whatever. And this is, like, a perfect time to charge your battery. Okay? So putting, like, a book on, like a an uplifting book, a self help book, listening to something while you drive, or putting on, like, a podcast like this, like, while you drive. such a huge way to charge your battery, to fill yourself with good, to learn something to better yourself, to charge your battery and just make a huge difference in how you feel on an everyday basis is simply, like, taking your drive time as battery charging time. So think of your car time, your travel time as battery charging time. It can make a huge difference in your life. So I don't know, like, download Audible. get some great, like, self help books and, you know, put them on while you drive. Or like I said, listen to a great podcast. Just use your drive time as battery charging time. Just think of it that way. You can also, like, combine this with, like, your chores that you have to do, whether it's, like, cleaning the house or folding the laundry or something. Like, again, put on a great self help book, something where you're learning and growing and just filling yourself with good. while you're doing the things that you already have to do. It doesn't take any extra time out of your life, and will just make a huge difference in your life. So That was my bonus tip on, like, no extra time, battery charging. So again, when you charge your battery, it's going to change how you feel And when you change how you feel, you change the actions you are able to take. When you charge your battery and you feel good and you feel happy and you feel energized, then you can take the actions. You can transform your health and, you know, working out and cooking better. And getting a better job or starting a business or finding a new relationship or improving your relationship. When you first feel good and you're charging your battery, your feelings will always drive your actions. But most people are over here just trying to do all of the actions, change all the actions, do all the actions and exhausting themselves. Just running around exhausted all the time. No. Charge your battery. feel good, especially being intentional with what you're thinking because that is going to affect how you feel. and how you feel is going to affect the actions that you take and the actions you take create the results and the life that you create. That is why it is so important to be intentional. So if you're listening to this and you're like, yeah. I'm done. I'm done feeling exhausted. I'm done feeling like I'm just getting through my day. I'm done surviving life. I wanna give you two ways to just go a little bit further and take the next small step forward. The first thing you can do is go check out my free training. It is such an awesome training, and it's called create a life you love in four simple steps and it goes deep into intentionally feeling how you want to feel and creating the results in the life that you really want. So definitely go check that out. Just go to jacquelynemery.com/freetraining. And then the second thing you can do, if you're ready for change, is schedule a free coaching call with me. So if you just want, like, a taste of what coaching is about or maybe you've gotten coached before and you just wanna see what coaching with me is like, I offer a free 1 hour coaching call. I want to hear all about you and what you are currently experiencing in your life and what you want to be experiencing instead. that we can talk about how to make that a reality. And you will leave with so much insight and action steps that you can take right away to start changing your life and the way that you feel. You can schedule your call at jacquelynemery.com/consult. And you can find that link in the show notes as well. Okay. That is what I've got for you today. My friends, I love you all, and have a great rest of the week. Bye.

Jacquelyn Emery [00:29:34]:

If you're ready to take this work deeper and start applying what you're learning, I'd like to invite you to join the life in the driver seat program where you will get out of the passenger seat and into the driver seat of your life. using my signature method. To get a taste of what coaching can do for you and discuss how my program can help, you can book free breakthrough call by visiting jacquelynemery.com/consult. That's jacquelynemery.com/consult. I'm looking forward to connecting with you soon.

Shawna Rodrigues [00:29:36]:

Isn’t Jacquelyn Fabulous? Make sure you head over to Life in the Driver's Seat and listen to the episode she has on battery drainers. We'll put a link in the show notes, make it super easy for you. As she said, you need to take some things out before you add other things in. And that episode tells you more about that. You don't wanna end up with too much. I love what she says about decorating on top of decorating. Does that resonate with you? Like, you can't just keep adding more decorations in. You kinda gotta clear things out and start over and see what fits in with what you already have. You want things in alignment. I'm very grateful to Jacquelyn for sharing her wisdom yet again. Thank you for joining us for this.

Shawna Rodrigues [00:30:16]:

Be sure to jump on over to Instagram and follow us @the.grit.show. And if you aren't already following the Authentic Connections Podcast Network, @37by27, you should definitely be doing that as well. We're launching the Authentic Connections Podcast Accelerator. It's an amazing opportunity for you to be a part of a cohort, launching your podcast together. It's a small group, it's very select. If you join this summer accelerator, you'll be part of the founding circle of Authentic Connections which is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Get into the DMs, @37by27 with the word amplify, I'll send you our workshop, 'From Dreaming to Doing', and you can learn more about this amazing opportunity. Don't forget, you are the only one of you that this world has got, and that means something. I'll be here next Tuesday, I hope you are too.