Hello, and welcome to this week's episode of the Unforgettable Podcast.

Kind of way it just felt kind of heavy.

One of those years where you technically stayed busy all year long, but when you look back, you feel like you're standing in roughly the exact same place that you were last year.

If that resonates for you, it can feel really disorienting because you were doing things, you were really busy, you were handling things, and you were technically staying afloat.

You.

So how is it that when you were busier than ever, you still can feel like you failed?

I actually read a quote recently by Seneca that stopped me in my tracks, and I'm going to read it for you now.

It says, if one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable.

I'm going to say that one more time.

If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable.

Now, the reason that hit me so hard is that it explains something that most of us actually end up blaming ourselves for.

It's that you can be moving constantly.

You can be taking action, you can be trying your very best, and it can still feel like nothing is working.

It can still feel like you're failing.

Now, it's not because you're actually failing or you're not taking action, but it's because no amount of effort feels helpful when there's no clear direction.

When Seneca said no wind is favorable, what he's really saying is this.

It's that momentum without direction typically doesn't lead to a favorable destination, right?

Or in the case of our goals, if we are constantly busy without pausing to ensure that our actions are actually leading us to a specific outcome, our busyness can just lead to exhaustion.

Now, here's the thing.

Most of us don't actually lack discipline.

I hear people say this a lot.

They're like, I just need more motivation.

I just need to be more disciplined.

But that's usually not the problem.

What most people typically lack is actually pre decision.

Now here's the definition for pre decision.

Pre decision is simply deciding things once.

Here's the important part.

Before they become urgent so you don't have to decide them again and again.

I'm going to read that definition one more time.

Pre decision is just deciding things once before they become urgent, so you don't have to decide them again and again.

That's it.

Now, when you think about this, timing is what really matters here.

Because when nothing is decided ahead of time, every single day can turn into a series of reactions.

You're reacting to emails, you're reacting to text messages, you're reacting to social media posts, you're reacting to everyone else's needs, to problems that could have been completely irrelevant, could have been small, could have been handled once, but they weren't.

And that is literally how you get a mountain out of a molehill.

And when you live like that, your brain can literally process it as a failure.

It's not because it is a failure.

It's because it is fatigue from deciding all day long.

Your brain is literally exhausted.

Now you might instinctively think, okay, well, the solution to that fatigue is just rest.

I just need to sleep more.

I need to take a day off, I need a vacation.

And look, I am a huge advocate of rest and recovery.

That is something I've really leaned into in 2025, and it is something I'm leaning into heavily in 2026.

But when it comes to a lack of pre decision sleeping, taking a day off, taking a vacation, it's not actually going to fix this problem.

Because decision fatigue doesn't go away until the decisions stop asking for your attention.

They're not resolved until the source of the decision is reduced.

And the way that you reduce that is by deciding earlier.

Why does all of this even matter?

Why do you care?

It's because when you don't pre decide, everything in your life can start to feel extremely urgent.

Even when nothing is wrong, you wake up very reactive, open your phone, and something immediately needs your reaction and immediately triggers you.

It may be an email, something someone says, a message, some kind of problem, and before you've even had a chance to think, your day has already gotten away from you.

And I don't know about you, but when my day gets away from me first thing in the morning, it can be really hard for me to come back from that.

Once my day gets away from me in the morning, it's pretty much gone the rest of the day.

I am reactive all day long.

And before you know it, you're not choosing your day, you're not choosing your actions, you're just responding to everything.

It's kind of like you're living your whole life as a firefighter.

Okay, Think of a firefighter.

Every single fire is important because every fire could be the spark for another one, right?

So they literally have to manage everything at once.

They can't just look at a fire and go, oh, that's a small fire.

I'm not worried about it, because it actually could be the source of another larger fire.

If they don't resolve it, everything Feels so critical.

And when you're not pre deciding, everything can feel like a fire.

Everything feels important, everything feels like it needs attention right now.

And you never actually get a break because as soon as one thing is handled, another thing pops up.

Now this next part is really important for us high achieving women because from the outside, being reactive can make you look like you're actually really responsible.

You look flexible, you look capable, you look like you're just laid back, like I can literally handle anything that life throws at me.

But on the inside, you are tired in a way that sleep literally cannot fix.

Your brain never gets to turn off.

You're always scanning, looking for problems, always deciding, always waiting, almost like nervous for the next thing.

And over time, this can create that quiet little nagging feeling of constantly being behind.

Because internally, nothing ever feels finished.

There is some good news.

The opposite of being reactive and reacting to your whole day.

It's not hustle, it's not trying harder, it's not doing so much more.

The opposite reaction is simply readiness, okay?

It is having the important decisions made before you need them prepared.

People, they don't feel calm because they're better than you, because they have the magic formula or the secret sauce off.

They feel calm because fewer things are asking them to decide during the day.

They are having to make fewer decisions in the moment when it feels so urgent.

Now, this is not to say that things aren't going to pop up, that life's not going to throw you a curveball.

If one of us could figure out how to prevent that, we would be really stinking rich.

You know what I'm saying?

But being prepared can help you feel like you have more control, like you do actually have the capacity to handle those things that are inevitably going to come up.

It's because you aren't already exhausted from a million micro decisions that you had to make before 9am you can decide ahead of time what matters.

You can decide ahead of time what gets your energy.

And most importantly, you can decide ahead of time what doesn't get your energy.

So that when something happens, which if you are living life, it inevitably will, you're not scrambling, you're just responding from a calm plan.

Okay?

That's where, that's where the relief comes from.

If you're not waking up asking, what do I need to handle today?

Already feeling behind, you're working from a plan.

Now, it's still going to be the same amount of work.

Pre deciding is not going to take the difficulty out of what you have to get done.

But you are going to be able to respond to your difficult life task from a very different nervous system, from a very different capacity, from a very different energy.

And the difficulty is going to feel different.

Pre decision has a long list of benefits.

Okay, Pre deciding allows your brain to get quiet, even if only for a minute.

Your energy actually lasts longer.

Small problems can actually stay small problems, and you no longer feel like you're constantly behind, even, even when your calendar is full.

There is one more really exciting benefit to all of this, and it is that you can be more present in the moment.

Now, this isn't just a benefit of stop and smell the roses or stop and enjoy the little things, which is amazing and great.

But being present in the moment also has another really amazing side effect.

It can allow you to keep your eyes, your heart and your mind open to opportunities that you might actually miss otherwise.

So when you are constantly living in reaction mode, your life can start to feel like a cluttered inbox.

I'm a huge advocate of inbox zero every single evening.

So that way when I get back to my email the next day, I can quickly sort through and say, okay, this is spam and this is something that actually needs my attention.

When you're present in the moment, important things don't get mixed in with literally everything else.

There's a lot of spam, a lot of junk mail in our lives.

You can actually clearly see the opportunities that are right in front of you and you can actually act on them because you're thinking from a clear mind.

Now you know I'm not going to leave you hanging.

So here are three takeaways that you can think on, you can journal on, or you can discuss with me in the comments of the show after.

If you were listening to this on Apple or Spotify, join me in the YouTube comments.

Later, I will link the episode in the show.

Okay, take away number one, you're not a failure.

You are not behind.

You are just making too many decisions every single day.

You're exhausted from constant open loops and your brain and your body is interpreting those open loops as failure.

Pre deciding so that you can stop asking yourself like, okay, what should I be doing now?

What should I be doing next?

What am I missing?

What am I forgetting?

All day long will help so much.

Takeaway number two is that ease doesn't necessarily come from slowing down, from resting, from taking time off.

It comes from structure.

I hate to break it to you, but life and the world are not slowing down anytime soon.

If anything, I feel like with AI and technology, they're getting busier.

Life isn't going to get easier.

But when you stop reacting in the moment, you can actually start implementing systems instead of personally being the system.

If you don't have systems in place, you are the system.

And that is exhausting.

And takeaway number three, and this is a big one, is that waiting can be the most draining thing of all.

You may tell yourself, okay, well, I'm just going to think about that later.

I'm going to make that decision later.

I'm going to.

I'll make a decision about that tomorrow, next week.

I'll just put it off.

I'll put it out of my brain so that I don't have to think about it right now.

But the danger in that is that waiting isn't neutral.

That lack of decision, that open loop, is hanging out in your subconscious and it is costing you energy every single time that you postpone a decision.

I want you to think about readiness, not as, like, rushing or unfair pressure, but think about it as relief for your brain and your mind.

You're like, okay, I am not going to let this simmer the back of my mind.

I'm going to make a decision about it.

Whether it be the right decision or the wrong decision, a decision is going to get made, and then you can always pivot later on.

But the ability to make quick decisions, I personally think, is going to be a superpower in 2026 and beyond.

Okay, that is all I've got for you today.

I cannot wait to hear your thoughts from today's show.

Send this episode to a friend and make sure that you are subscribed on YouTube and I will see you in the next episode.