So you're not bad at dms.

You're just missing this little step that needs to be put in.

I'm going to show you the exact DM line that changed hundreds of our clients closing rates.

Have you ever gotten a DM that makes you roll your eyes and feel like, oh, my God, this is awful?

Definitely.

So today we're going to speak about how to make your chats not sound spammy, but sound like a lifeline.

Yeah.

And service.

Really important episode.

I mean, sell by chat is one of the most efficient relationship building activities that we can do.

I want to emphasize relationship building activities because why do people buy stuff from you as a coach?

It's because they relate to what you have.

They want to have their problem solved that you help your clients solve.

And they trust you.

Yeah.

And they trust you.

So relationship is the core foundation in all sales.

As a personal brand and as a coach, we need to make sure that we emphasize and stand behind that personal brand.

And chats are the most efficient way, but also non dramatic way of communicating with people that you don't know.

Yeah.

Because try calling them and see the response that you're going to get.

They're going to feel like, hey, you're disturbing me.

It's very, very different in the chat, but we got to do it the right way so that we don't show up and speak to someone with a kind of a pitchy, slimy voice.

Because.

No, but I think that's exactly the point.

When I started up my coaching business, I did everything I could to avoid doing DMs because I had felt, I believe, a lot of other coaches feel like I believe that if I just make great content, well, people would come and buy my stuff.

Yeah.

And it's so far from the truth.

It doesn't matter how great content you do, how much content you do, how you're seen everywhere, people are not naturally gonna just pick it up.

Oh, maybe I should buy something over here.

So avoiding the DMS is the biggest mistake anyone can do.

If you want to be proactively making sure you get results in your business.

Yeah.

You're gonna leave so much money on the table.

Absolutely.

Because you're trying to avoid it.

Yeah.

And this episode is going to be all about making sure that we cover how you can actually start selling by chat.

But I also believe that the reason why people want to AVO is the same reason as it was for me.

I don't want to be that person who is being salesy or spamming people.

I did not want to be that person.

And quite frankly, I don't believe anyone wants to be that person.

I absolutely agree.

But at the same time, we won't change any of our future clients lives by silencing ourselves.

No.

So we need to do it some way.

Yeah.

So why not figuring out a way of doing it that we know works.

Yeah.

And that builds that correlationship that is needed.

I think the biggest shift for me was when I realized that DMing is not spammy.

It's just that that's what we've been experiencing.

Because if you're on any social media, you've probably been spammed with awful DMS, outbound DMing and those pictures.

When I realized that DMing is not about that.

It's about being authentic.

It's about caring.

It's about understanding who is my person.

That is where it starts.

Start figuring out who's my future client.

What does this person need?

It's where start my coaching.

Yeah.

We're going to give you in this episode all the chat openers.

The way to facilitate conversations and the way to build that and do it efficiently with your heart in the right place.

But before we go to that, I want to emphasize if you ever talk about what you have available in the chat, especially in the beginning of a conversation, even more especially if it's the first thing that you send them that then stop what you're doing right now because it isn't working.

It is never going to work and you're never going to get closer to people by telling them what you have available.

So we are not talking about pitching in chat.

No.

We are talking about using sell by chat as an efficient tool to build your coaching business.

Yeah.

I think the biggest drivers is the fear of rejection.

Yeah.

The fear of judgment.

What would people think about me?

Because I hear that often, like.

But wouldn't they feel like I'm spamming them?

Wouldn't they feel it's annoying?

It wouldn't they feel like I'm too.

Much and to some degree a part of like imposter syndrome feeling like who am I?

And that comes like, yeah, it's borderline.

The same thing as the rejection or when we're scared of being judged.

But the thing is you can still act with the fear of being judged and realize that you're not being judged.

But if you are prejudging yourself as someone who is awkward and weird, then you're not even going to touch the chats.

And we want to change that.

We want to make sure that you can realize that you can be yourself and.

And you can be severely helpful without ever pitching them anything.

Building strong relationships.

And based on those strong relationships, build your coaching business.

Build your lifestyle.

Yeah.

So our goal in this episode is really having you see DMing in another way.

Yeah.

In a new light.

In a new light.

It's also about feeling good about having conversations with people, because if you're still avoiding having conversations with people, you are definitely losing out on a lot of money in your business.

So we want to get you really comfortable in the chat.

So we'll dive into the biggest mistakes and what to do instead.

So it becomes comfortable and it becomes.

Actually, I love the chats.

I hated it to begin with, but today I literally love it.

It's something I love.

I could sit and do for a whole day if I had time for it.

I literally love it because it's about meeting wonderful people.

But done wrong, you lose your leads.

Done wrong, you lose your money, you lose relationship.

Done right, it is the best thing you can do in your business.

And to someone who can't relate to what you're saying right now, it's.

I want to emphasize that you hated it in the beginning.

You said so, but it was awkward.

It was weird.

It was all of those.

It was about me.

Yeah.

And really good distinction.

That was about you.

Yeah.

Because if it is about you, then let go of that because this has nothing to do with you.

Yeah.

Getting new clients.

No matter if it's sell by chat or in any other part of your sales funnel, it's never about you.

Yeah.

Every time you are not having conversations, there's someone out there who doesn't know who you are.

There's someone out there who needs your service.

You need your help, and you are not talking to them because you are all up in your own ego thinking about what would that person think about me?

Would that person feel I'm too much?

And you have a person who's suffering thinking about themselves, and you're not willing to help them.

You're not willing to even give them some service because you're stuck in your own ego.

Yeah.

We collected a few of the most common questions that we get from coaches in regards to dms.

Yeah.

I believe that our listeners would get a massive value out of listening to the answer to these questions.

And then I have some of the biggest mistakes.

All right, I really want us to talk about as well.

Should we start with the biggest mistakes?

Yeah, let's do that.

Let's do that.

Yeah.

So the biggest mistakes in Your dming is not having a plan.

That's one mistake.

Not having a plan, just having a random talk.

Just saying hey and then starting asking question, but not leading in any way.

What happens if you don't have a plan?

If you don't have a process?

Process.

A clear step by step process to move through is that you will have conversations for them back, but the person on the other side will never understand that there's a next step.

You don't do the any segue.

So you never get to the part where you offer anything.

And when it comes to offer, you can offer a thousand different things.

Yeah.

You can offer a call, you can offer a training, a PDF, meditation, whatever it is.

So when we say offer, it doesn't mean do you want to buy my program?

Now, we don't do that.

So when you're not leading, and it's very important word, if you're not leading the process, leading the conversation, the problem is you become a friend.

You don't build up your authority in the chat either.

And if you're not building up the authority, you're not building up the trust in you.

Because what does people need if they're going to hire a coach?

They don't need someone who's just following them around and who's not control the conversation because unconsciously they will not build trust you.

At the same time, the probability of the conversation turning awkward is very high.

Yeah.

Because there is no intention with the conversation.

Yeah.

So have an intention.

Have a plan.

How do you build a plan?

Stay tuned to the end of this episode and you'll be able to create one.

I would like to just jump in and say one of the biggest mistakes, we've already covered it.

But being a person that spams people sending pitches, I can see that you're a coach and you're doing this and I have this thing and I can create 100 qualified calls for you in a week.

It's so stupid.

If I want 100 qualified calls in a month or whatever someone is selling me, I am going to look for it.

I am not going to buy it from someone that seeks me out on social media.

Yeah.

If that is what I'm looking for, then I'm going to figure out where is the best ones and I'm going to buy from them.

And it's not going to be you who sends me a cold chat.

If we turn it around, it's like you are pitching too fast.

Absolutely.

If you pitch in the first couple of conversations, meaning that, hey, you might need What I have, this is what I got again, it's an ego thing.

It's you believing that what you have is so incredible that if you just tell someone about your thing, people want to buy it.

And you might not recognize it as ego, but it is.

But it is an ego thing.

It's about you.

Because people are not gonna buy just because you have something to sell.

And I like to take these examples into the real world.

What if you stepped into a store and you were looking at buying a new bed together with your husband or wife and you stepped into the store, they sell beds.

And someone approaches you and say, so, hey guys, which bed do you want to buy?

Yeah.

Then you're going to have an awkward conversation with that salesperson because you don't know.

And he sells beds and he just assumes that, okay, so what bed can I sell you?

Is focusing on whatever it is that he needs to do to solve whatever is in his head compared with going into the same store.

Another person approaches you and say, hey, so what are you looking for today?

The difference here is that you have actually entered their store so they can actually approach you with a different mindset that you can in the chat.

But I want you to get the idea of if you're trying to push for what you have, you're going to push people away and you're definitely going to lose money.

Don't offer anything to anyone unless you already know they're going to say yes.

Yeah, that's a really good rule.

Another mistake is using copy paste scripts instead of making it personalized to the person you speak to.

You do not want to sound like a setter, do you?

Do not want to sound like a bot.

You do not want to sound like something else.

You need to sound like you, you.

Know, invest half a second in just investing in the person.

Be natural.

Yeah, be you.

Another rule, rule of thumb, say it in a way that you would say it if that person was right in front of you.

Yeah, you need to look at your chatting just like if you were in the same room in front of the beat.

That's how you need to speak.

I love taking it into the real world because people can actually behave in the real world, but it doesn't seem that, like they become super awkward just because it's in a chat.

Yeah, but it's really the same thing.

Then we have asking loaded questions or two open questions.

So what's your biggest goal in life or what's your goal in this thing?

It's too open.

First of all, if this is the first four chats you're having with this person and you start asking them, so, what's your goal in life?

You don't know me.

It's a little invasive.

It doesn't feel comfortable to answer that.

Two things are going to happen.

First of all, they are going to feel like that's an awkward question to ask someone on a first date.

The second thing that's going to happen is that if they are actually interested in speaking with you.

Yeah, it's too big.

Yeah.

Which means that they can't give a simple answer.

Which means that the likelihood of them dropping out because you start a process in their head.

Now they're in their head, they're not in the conversation anymore and they're contemplating about whatever you asked.

Or they're like, I don't know.

Oh.

They will answer something that you can't move forward with.

You're not in control.

Because they.

Let's say you are a life coach that help people with reaching goals in their life.

And you ask them, so, hey, what's your goal in life?

Well, I don't know my goal in life.

And it'll be, oh, right now I'm going on holiday next week.

So I'm just solving that right now.

Since you're not a holiday fixer coach, that's going to be really hard to go into.

It's just too wide.

The conversation is going to pivot a way that you do not want to the conversation to end up in.

So avoid all the grandiose big questions.

What's the next big mistake that everyone makes?

Well, one of the big ones.

You think of this as a sales conversation instead of just a conversation.

You think it's a funnel.

Sales funnel.

Because if you start thinking about I'm going to sell to this person, you're going to be salesy instead.

You need to have some clear steps you want to get through.

But it's literally about understanding what does this person need.

You're not going to sell anything to anyone ever if you don't know what they need.

So think of your conversation more and discovery for you to understand who's this person and figure out what's the problem this person have.

Is there anything I can help them with?

That's the only thing you need to think about.

Because I've spoken with so much coaches, I know that if you really did that, you're gonna start loving the chats more.

Because it's about caring and being interested in the person rather than your business.

I promise you that we're going to take care of your business as well.

You're going to get the clients, you're going to earn the money, you're going to be able to put food on your table, you're going to be able to build your lifestyle.

But it doesn't come from you investing in your business.

It comes from you investing in the people that could be a part of it.

The next one not qualifying before you offer anything.

So what does it mean to qualify?

It means simply just asking anything about urgency.

Is this important for you?

Is this something that you would like to move forward with?

Is this like, are you happy with the results that you're getting?

Would it be helped if I gave you a couple of steps that you could take?

Would you have time, if I gave you a system, would you have time to actually implement it?

Yeah.

And there are some, there's a lot.

You can qualify, but minimum qualification you need to do, is that important.

You need to know how important this is.

Is it something they want?

And then we can go all the way down to the hard core qualification.

Do you have the funds if I give you a system to do this?

Yeah.

What it means is if I can offer you a solution to this entire problem, would you be open to investing and making it happen?

Yeah.

And you can go that far.

If you're more of a beginner, you need some authority to be able to back that up.

But.

But it works like a charm.

Yeah.

It works so well.

Yeah.

Because when you get that answer.

Yeah, of course, like, if we can solve this, I'm all in.

Yeah.

Then you know that.

Okay, let's jump on a call, let's see if it's an all in thing.

And now it's a good one.

I think it's the number one thing I fix first for everyone I ever been helping with their chats and that is ask for permission before you send anything to anyone.

Have them give the permission for you to do it even though you might be having a legion.

And they said, yeah, you have a post about, hey, comment this thing if you want my thing.

And then when you jump into the chat you can send it directly.

But if you go in instead and you say, hey, I saw you wanted that thing, I saw you commented on my post about this thing, just let me know is okay, I send it to you and you say yes.

What that little trick does is that you automatically got permission from them to start having a conversation.

The likelihood of them ghosting you after this point is just so minimal because they gave you permission to send something.

They understand that you really accept boundaries.

Exactly.

And why is that?

Because you accept boundaries.

Sure.

But it's also.

They get an opportunity to be a part of the conversation.

Yeah.

Last thing.

You think it's about you.

We spoke about it before.

DMs is not about you.

It's not about what you're selling, it's not about who you are.

No one cares how much you know unless they know how much you care.

So it's about them.

It's about asking questions.

It's not about telling them how good you are.

It's not about showing how good you are.

It's about asking them questions to understand who they are.

Yeah.

So can you just go through the five steps of doing a chat?

What's the recipe?

So the five steps that is crucial in all sales processes, but now really looking into DMs specifically, first of all, rapport.

What does rapport mean?

You can Google it, there is tons of material, but it means that you're having a conversation with the other person, not to the other person.

It's a conversation, it's not a monologue.

They need to respond 100%.

So how do we know that we have established rapport?

Well, that we can assume that there is a level of trust where we can have a normal conversation.

So once we've had that, we want to dig.

We want to dig.

So what's going on and in regards to what you're helping people do?

Like we help coaches build their businesses, so we talk about their coaching business.

What's your biggest challenge in your coaching business right now?

In the last three months of your coaching business, how much have you made on average?

All of those things are related to what I help people do.

I have rapport.

I get permission to ask.

So I dig down, I find some details, I navigate to understand their reality, their world, their actual situation, no matter what niche we're in.

Step number three is then serve.

Make sure that we serve them.

Give some stuff, give them some free value.

Once you understand the problem, give them.

Some free value, and then we have service.

So we've served them with something.

Why is this so important?

Because now they're invested in the conversation.

The next thing that we want to do is when we want to qualify.

So how big of an issue is this for you?

We want to understand now, to what severity does this problem exist in their life?

Because if they say, this is a daily thing, this is something I have to battle all the time.

This is why I don't sleep at night.

We want to understand how important is this and when you've qualified them to know how important it is, then you can give them an offer.

And that offer could be either to jump on a call to figure out if you can move forward and see if you can help them further.

It could be if you have an event, whatever it is that you have designed for your coaching business in your client acquisition funnel, you could just direct them to the next step.

Yeah.

And that is how you know that you're going to give them an offer they can't refuse because you know it's a perfect fit.

Those are the five steps.

So again, rapport, dig, serve, qualify, and then give an offer.

Before we wrap up, let's just quickly answer some of the questions that I've gotten here.

What if I don't know what to say after saying hey?

Well, you want to take that?

Well, yeah.

So first of all, if everything that you have is saying hey, then don't say anything because hey doesn't like hi.

It doesn't really build anything.

A few different things to start conversations.

The easiest one, if they haven't reached out on something specific that specifically invites a conversation, then just acknowledge them.

It's so easy.

So what you mean by that is if they didn't answer on a post that was a direct call to action to answer and I'll send you something, then acknowledge them.

Yeah.

And say, hey, I saw that you like this post.

I saw that you comment on this post.

Hey, I saw that you sent the reaction to my story.

Or I saw that you even saw my story.

Great.

Next one here.

How soon is too soon to talk about my offer?

Well, I can look.

So back to you're going to give the answer you're going to give.

Don't give an offer if you don't know they're going to say yes to it.

That's the absolutely one.

What I can say just by the way you say that is that you're focusing too much on yourself and what you have to say.

So.

So probably you need to wait much longer than you believe.

Now is the time because you are too eager.

Do a Taylor Swift and shake it off.

Shake it off.

Yes, do a Taylor and shake it off.

And then you only do it once, you know, with 100% certainty this is what they want.

So is it okay to DM someone who hasn't followed me back?

So what we're talking about here is outbound DMing.

So I'm going to give a yes and no, it depends kind of answer.

What's the difference.

Inbound is when someone actually responded to anything you do, which means they came to you, they responded on anything you.

Do, they did something consciously and you answered to their.

Yeah, to the action.

That's an inbound.

So when we're talking about outbound, you are going into someone else and you're just starting dm.

I would say as a rule, not a great idea, but there is some exception.

You really need to walk so slowly that you start by going into the profile you like and comment something they do and you give them a compliment.

Acknowledge them.

Acknowledge them.

Yeah, I saw this post just to say high five, good job.

Just don't do the spammy stuff and go in and say, hey, I think I have something that you might want to buy from me.

Yeah, don't do that.

That might solve everything in your life.

Because the only thing that'll happen is that they will block you.

So don't do that.

What if they don't reply?

Should I follow up?

Depends on where in the process.

Yeah.

One thing that we need to understand first of all, if we send them an acknowledgment, hey, saw this post.

Love it.

Like really well written, really well created.

Good point.

High five.

Just want to send some appreciation and then they don't send anything back.

Then hold your horses and do a frozen and let it go.

To acknowledge.

Another thing is also, how are people using chats?

Looking at social media, looking at Facebook messenger, looking at Instagram, looking at LinkedIn, whatever it is, people are using the chats very non dramatically.

So if you're actually having a conversation, if you've started something, if you've asked an important question, then understand that if they are cooking dinner for their kids, when they read your message, it might be like, oh, a really cool message.

Oh, interesting.

They're thinking about it, but they're making dinner.

Which means that they are not available to answer.

Of course.

Follow up, revive all those chats that have died as a service to not as a sales initiative.

Next one, how do I keep the conversation going without being awkward?

Well, don't be awkward.

Come on guys, don't be awkward.

No, I would say it depends.

So we kind of want to read the room.

So if you're getting answers that are very short, like one word or two words, they're cold.

And then you go very, very slow so you back off and you ask really easy questions for them to answer something about them.

People like to talk about themselves rather than talking about you.

Something easy.

Send them something funny.

Stuff like that.

If you having them warm, it would mean that they're sending you a sentence, but not more than that.

You can go a little bit faster, but not move too fast.

And if they're giving you long lines, that means that they're hot.

You can move faster.

So you adapt how fast you move to the length of the answers that will show how cold or warm they are.

And another thing you can always do is go back, comment something they're doing, and just start over appreciating them.

Yeah.

Be someone who actually cares.

Yeah.

Genuinely care.

And give them a compliment that you actually mean.

Why does the work that we do or.

And the teachings that we do help our clients?

It's because it's not about sales.

Sales is a natural outcome that happens when an individual feels like that is the best next step.

Yeah.

So is it better to send voice notes or text?

The best thing is to mix it up.

The second best thing.

I know we have a lot of clients who have dyslexia, which means that they literally can't write.

Well, they can, but the other one won't be able to read it about dyslexia.

Any of our clients knows that I can't spell for anything either.

Yeah.

Again, you're stuck with you.

No one cares.

No.

One of our clients sent a message to me and said that.

Yeah.

And there is also this thing that is quite embarrassing.

I have dyslexia, so it takes me forever to write these messages.

The only thing I said to her was give it a week where you don't think about it at all.

Allow the stuff to be messy, and then see that no one cares.

Yeah.

We gotta be who we are.

Yeah.

We gotta leverage who we are.

Yeah.

And then we're gonna do it the way that it is natural for us when we care.

Add a voice note in between sometimes because it's also they get to hear your voice.

It's the same with.

If you sent them a short video, they get to see you.

It's easier to build trust to someone you hear and see.

Something that can happen if you start doing that more and more is that they might send your voice notes back.

Then it becomes inefficient.

So if they are starting to respond in voice notes, go back into responding in text.

Yeah.

Because listening to a voice note is usually way less efficient than.

It takes longer time.

Yeah, it takes a lot longer.

I wrote down the free three best ways.

If you're not getting comments on your.

Because that was another one.

What if I'm not getting any comments but I only get likes.

So I actually made our top three chats openers to people who are not commenting but only liking.

Which means that you can get a lot of amazing conversations with people who only liked.

So if you're struggling with getting enough comments but only likes, this is for you.

I'll add a link below.

Go download it.

It's going to help you a lot to just wrap this up and sum this up.

Many, many coaches and I met coaches who make €30, 40, €50,000amonth.

Who feels like sales is oh, I don't like it, it feels awkward, it feels like I'm pushing or whatever it is, then we're doing it wrong.

And you've heard this before because it's all over the place.

Sales is service, but what does it actually look like?

It looks like serve people with a non intensive of selling to them unless they want to be sold to make sure that you're not missing out on building those quality relationships in the DMs because it is a game changer.

If you're not doing it already, make sure that you are starting.

If you're doing it already, make sure that you get better and focus more on the quality of the conversation rather than what you have to sell.

With that said guys, let's close it down.

Thanks for tuning in and don't forget to like and subscribe and we'll see you in a new episode very, very soon.

Sam.