Foreign.

Hello, and welcome back to Worship Leader Pod.

Hey, guess what?

This is our 10th episode, which, it doesn't seem like a big number to you, but it's a really big number to me because just starting one was a lot.

A lot of faith, a lot of fear, but a lot of God providing and really opening the door for this podcast to be possible.

And I'm just like, God, look what you have done.

It's.

It's so, so amazing.

And so thank you to everyone who has been listening, if you've been listening since episode one, thank you very much for bearing with me through my awkwardness, through me trying to figure out how podcasting works and communication and all those things.

But thank you so much for your support.

It really means the world.

And if you are new, welcome.

Come, come on in.

We're gonna have an amazing conversation today.

I pray that this podcast and this episode leaves you more hungry for the Lord than ever before.

And I pray that this blesses you and blesses those around you as we get into our conversation today.

And, you know, I was kind of thinking about, like, how Moses, you know, God said, hey, I'm choosing you to be a mouthpiece to set my people free, and how Moses gave him all the excuses and all the things.

And I can guarantee, or at least I think in my mind, that Moses probably didn't get everything right from the beginning when he was on the journey to.

To help set the Israelites free.

I'm sure there are some moments where he just didn't get things right.

And God reminded me that, like, he's not looking for perfection, he's just looking for obedience.

And I think that is the key to, A, how we live our lives for Christ, but B, just starting something, even if you feel nervous or scared about it, if God's giving you a desire in your heart, the Bible says to write down the plan, and he will direct the path.

That means we have to do something.

We have to be a part.

He wants us to be a part of what he is doing.

And so if you have a desire in your heart, start a podcast, start a business, to start a career, whatever that looks like, write it down, make it plan, make it plain, make a plan.

And God will direct those paths as it is, according to his will.

And so I just wanted to encourage you in that, but also because today's episode's gonna be really amazing because I do have someone here in the podcast studio who did start a business at a very young age and did it with just faith, and did it Scared.

And did it because she knew that God was stirring her up to do more than just what she was doing.

And so I'm super, super, super excited to have Taylor cross with us today.

So this is funny because how we met, we kind of met.

We didn't meet.

Yeah, it's like.

It's like a cool, like, story.

It was an event over the summer of 2024, so last summer.

And it was like a worship kind of like shopping.

What do you call it when I'm trying to think of the word?

Like, it was like a young women's day.

Yeah, like a young.

It was.

It was geared to young women, young adults to come hear music and shop at some amazing vendors that were all run by women and all who love the Lord.

Yeah.

And it was just to, like, stir up fire to like, you can live for God, be pure, be holy, look good, feel good, enjoy things.

Yeah.

And have other people around you that share that same passion.

Like, that's super cool.

It was one of the.

My favorite shows I've ever done.

It was so fun.

I loved it.

Yeah.

I feel it.

Because it, you know, it wasn't just like, hey, come shop.

Yeah.

So I can, like, run my business.

It's like, come encounter Jesus and come in this community of women from all different stages of life who love the Lord, who then also share the gospel and share their testimony within the shops to know more about Jesus.

Like, it was an invitation for young girls to come.

And that was, like, super cool.

I agree.

I think it was like an amazing thing.

They did baptisms at the end.

Like, it was full on ministry.

Yeah.

You know, I mean, that was honestly one of my favorite things is doing shows that are faith based.

Because my business is faith based.

Yeah.

And I've done a lot of shows that aren't faith based.

Yeah.

Which is always a good thing to do as well, because you're reaching people who aren't.

But there's something about being in that, like, organic community of.

It's just.

Yeah, yeah.

It was really, really cool.

Yeah.

Yeah, I agree.

I think it's.

It definitely, like, stirs you up and then, like, gets you excited to go do things, like, out of the world, out of the church, all different areas and.

Yeah, I totally agree.

So.

So Taylor was at this event and she actually shared a testimony, which I heard snippets of it, but most of it I was like, wow, this is amazing.

And like, her business is not just selling clothes and doing all these things, which is amazing.

And they're super cute.

And I'm wearing a hoodie, by the way, that she made.

It's super cute.

We'll talk about that.

But it's also to share the gospel.

Yeah.

It's also to, like, invite people to encounter Jesus, and I think that's amazing.

So, Taylor, please lay it down on us.

Tell us about your business.

How did it start?

What?

Where did it start?

What?

Like, what.

What stirred you to start this business of yours?

Okay, well, it's actually kind of a funny story.

I love funny stories.

So I loved thrifting.

I've always loved thrifting.

I grew up thrifting with my grandma.

The two of us would go all the time, and then I got so many clothes that I was like, what do I do with it?

So I actually started a story on Snapchat just to sell some of my clothes.

Yeah.

And they went like that.

Wow.

And something thrifting always was, for me, was like an escape and just something that I felt like I could be.

Just trying to think of the way to describe it, I just felt.

Felt myself, and I felt like I could be creative.

Yeah.

Which is so fun, because when you're thrifting, it's like, all, like, you never know what you're gonna get, and they're all just such different pieces, and just a way I could be creative.

And at the time I started, like, really thrifting quite a bit, I was struggling really bad with my mental health, and it was a really good way for me to get out of the house and to do something and to felt like I.

To feel like I had something that I was passionate about.

Yeah.

Because at the time, I just really.

There wasn't a lot that would really get me out of bed or made me feel like.

But the thought of, like, getting to go shop and to find things, and I enjoyed the aspect of selling it and everything.

And so I was just selling some stuff that I would find here and there on a Snapchat story.

And people were like, why don't you, like, make an Instagram page and, like, do this?

And I'm like, okay.

Like, no one wants the stuff I find at Goodwill.

Like.

But honestly, I just took that leap of faith and was like, I'm gonna do this.

And so originally, it was called Tay the Thrifter.

That was my page.

I was.

Let's see.

I think I was a freshman in high school, and I would just thrift stuff, sell it.

Thrift stuff, sell it.

And really, honestly, when I first started it, it really wasn't.

It was just.

I was just selling clothes.

And I feel like I didn't really have that gospel behind it, and I was just kind of just selling clothes.

Right.

And it got to the point where it was reaching a lot of people.

And again, like, I was really struggling in my mental health, and I just felt like God was saying to me, like, I want to do a lot more with this business than what you're doing with this business.

And a lot more people would ask me, like, why are you doing this?

And why do you thrift in everything?

Yeah.

And so it kind of caused me to sit back and, like, why am I doing this?

Yeah.

And so really, I decided that I wanted to really focus on just reaching other women that were struggling in their mental health as well.

Wow.

And so, obviously, like, it took me from a point to where I was, like, really, really struggling.

And, I mean, I can get into my testimony about all of that, too.

But it just took me from when I finally got into a place where I felt like I was at a point in my anxiety where I wasn't ashamed to talk about it.

And it was more like I wanted to use it to help other women get to a point of not being stuck in that, but finding something and obviously through the Lord and finding a way to connect with the Lord and to get it to somewhere where they can share it with other people.

Wow.

And so I felt like it's really unique that God had allowed me to use my business to connect with other people.

And so I rebranded everything.

I called it saving grace, and my middle name is Grace.

So that was one thing, but also just about how the Lord really obviously saved my life, but also kind of used my business as a saving grace through how I just felt like I was flooded with my mental health struggles and everything I was going through.

And it kind of just lifted me up and just.

He's really used that to reach other people.

That's so amazing.

Yeah.

Wow.

And share some things or some stories where you feel like you've been able to reach out to people or, like, what testimonies have you had through your business, Whether that's how you shared something.

Maybe it's someone or a situation that really.

Yeah.

Kind of, like, pulled in that saving grace.

Someone.

I think one of the things, like I said how I really started focusing on not so much the clothes, but really just allowed myself to be like, okay, God, like, what do you want to do with this?

Yeah.

One thing that I was really scared to do but has been so incredible, is I actually started a prayer request Box at my shows.

And so I've been doing them at ones that are not faith based, which has been.

Sometimes people walk up and they're like, you know, but there's.

It was amazing.

One of the.

The last show I actually did, I had it in the corner so people would walk in and then they saw it and there was so many people who put prayer requests in there, but then came up to me after and like, one lady.

There was someone in our family that was dealing with, like, addictions and stuff like that.

And for people to just like that vulnerability, like, you totally never would have gotten that if, you know, I wouldn't have stepped out there and like, just, you know what I'm trying to say?

Like, yeah, absolutely.

And so I think me is showing, like, my sign has a Bible verse on it and having those things there that are not like screaming like at you.

Right.

But I think there's a lot of people who have just like, come up to me and ask me questions.

I'm trying to think of specific stories, but it's amazing how many there has been.

Wow.

And honestly, the majority I get, I feel like are at shows.

Yeah.

And I do feel like I can reach a lot of people on social media and there are people who have definitely DMed me and said, like, wow, like, this has really touched me.

I'm really, like, going through it.

And this was really encouraging for me.

Yeah.

Because I try to be very vulnerable on my page too.

I think that's one thing that I've noticed is like, I don't want to be a page that focuses on, like, getting this many followers or whatever, but really focusing on, like, the followers I have and reaching them and just being like, vulnerable and messy and all that with them.

Yeah.

So.

But I feel like the biggest things that I can think of at my shows, and I had one lady who there was actually a jacket, a jean jacket that said Raising believers on the back of it.

And she came up to me and just started crying and was just like.

She bought the jacket and was just like, told me her testimony.

I started crying and was just like, thank you for being here.

And moments like that, you're just like, wow.

Like, it's just really, really cool to see, you know.

And honestly, there's been people too, that have come up to me at my stand and we'll just say, like, why are you doing what you're doing?

And then I can just open up and just talk to them about it.

And then you just connect on that.

That deeper level.

Yeah, yeah.

That's awesome.

And, yeah, you know, it really is like a.

It's a safe haven for people, especially if they're walking around, they're shopping, they're seeing something.

And the Lord highlights so many different things.

I feel like you.

We probably will never even know all the things.

Yeah.

Someone looked at something and then thought, like, something that they're praying for or just something that they're going through.

But it's kind of like a.

I just keep getting a picture of, like, a tent, and it's like, people feel safe.

It's like us in the presence of God.

It's like, I can run the presence of God because I know I'm safe there.

Yeah.

Like, I can bring all my junk, all my worries, all my fears, all my things, and not feel judged or shameful.

But it really is like a safe tower for people.

And I think that's really cool that you even just.

Again, you're just authentic into saying, like, this is just what I believe, and I'm not, like, you know, yelling at everybody.

But this is.

This is the love of.

Of Christ to just come.

Yeah.

To just come and see and experience and.

Yeah.

I think that's super cool that you do that.

Thank you.

I find that super.

Especially, like, in.

In the day and age now, it's like, you know, especially social media, but also when people are out and about.

I.

I just.

The other day, I had this.

I was like, the Lord was like, you need to look up more.

Like, when you go shopping and stuff.

Like, you're in stores and people are in shops, and obviously, you're probably sitting at your booth and you're looking up, looking at people, trying to engage with people.

So many people, because of, like, just stress and tense and things going on in their lives, they're looking down, down, down, and it's like, for them to be able to look up and see, like, yeah, Jesus's name on your table or something.

I'm sure just sparks, like, some faith in people.

Yeah.

Two.

One thing I feel like, was almost intimidating.

I was like, it's really easy to, like, stick in with the mold and be like, no, I'm not gonna do a prayer request thing.

You know what I mean?

Or, no, I'm not.

I'm not gonna have my Christian shirts in the front.

Right.

It's really easy to do that.

But I think when God told, like, called me and was, like, really, like, nudged me and was like, no, like, have that there.

And I think when you go out of that, like, it's hard not to be in a mindset of like, well, I'm not gonna sell as much because people are gonna see that and they're gonna be like, but then when you obey the Lord and you're like, okay, I'm gonna do this, like, I had the best show I've ever had.

Yeah.

Best sales I've ever.

And that's not the way you want to look at it.

But it's also crazy how, like, the Lord blesses you when you are scared and you're like, yeah, I don't really know if I want to do this.

This is gonna turn people away.

How so many people were actually drawn in.

So it's funny how, like, we think something could happen, but he just turns it totally different.

Yeah.

So it's all just like, who we rely on.

Because if it's just on ourselves to make it or I know.

In our strength and what we think we know to do.

I mean, I can relate that as a worship leader, but even just as a Christian.

Yeah.

As a mother, it's like, I can do it.

Yeah.

I got it.

But the moment I'm like, yeah, I don't know how this is going to go.

And then it goes, like, the best.

Because we've completely relied on the Lord to take the wheel.

Right.

We, like, really relied on him to take it.

And I think there's so, like, I think maybe even for you in that moment, like, that probably excites you.

Yeah.

Like, that gets your faith going.

Yeah.

Like God, you see the things that I think are mundane.

Yeah.

Are okay.

Yeah.

And you come in and you ride upon it.

Yeah.

Like it's like the best offering and like.

Oh, my gosh.

Yeah.

And it's just so crazy to be like.

Like he's.

I've always kind of like thought of it as like a silly little side business and like something I did on the side.

And this year I decided to like, fully, like, do it full time.

Wow.

And so to me, it's still so crazy to be, like, to see how much he's used, like, from where it started, like a little Snapchat story in my bedroom.

Yeah.

And to see where it has gone.

And it's just so crazy to see how much he can use it.

Yeah.

And it's like, I feel like Christian and faith based apparel has boomed.

Yeah.

Like.

Yeah.

I mean, it comes in ways throughout generations.

It feels like, because it was like, you know, when I was a kid, it was very like, like the buckle style.

Very, like.

Yeah.

Kind of cheesy.

Yeah.

Like Very crosses and just very like rugged.

Yeah.

And so like, that got kind of cheesy and then now it's like booming.

And it really is like a tool.

Yeah.

For.

For sharing the gospel.

Like, I'm honestly, like, that pumps me up.

Yeah.

Because again, like, I love being able to again, start a conversation with someone that you never know can.

I'm just gonna put on a shirt.

I'm gonna put on bracelet, whatever that is.

Like, I have faith based bracelets.

And I.

And not to like, I'm like this cool Christian person, but it's like, I want to be able to be effective.

Yeah.

And for those of you.

I just had a thought.

Maybe this is the Lord.

If you feel like I'm not really, like doing much for God's kingdom or I feel like, you know, I'm only going to school and I'm working or I'm only a mom or I'm only this.

But like, you get to share your faith through different avenues.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

You could go to the store.

Yeah.

And literally just bless someone just by smiling.

Like it's just the simplest things.

Yeah.

But I've had.

Anyway, so I've had like a.

You know, I love the Jesus loves you sweatshirts and all like the different faith based.

And it's again, my mom like, is this cheesy?

But I'm like, somebody really needs to hear or see.

That's another thing.

Because when you see it, faith comes by hearing.

But as you see it, I believe you can also hear it.

Yeah.

And then it goes into your heart and it's.

And it plants a seed in people's lives.

Yeah.

And so I think like, the apparel.

Christian apparel.

Yeah.

Has just boomed.

I think God is totally on it.

Yeah.

Right now.

Yeah.

It's booming.

Which is so funny because when again, when I started everything, it was totally just like thrifted clothes.

Yeah.

I wasn't doing printed anything and I started thinking about, like, what if I started printing on thrifted clothing.

Yeah.

And I was like, that could be pretty cool.

So again, like, just allowing him, like, same thing.

I was like, I would start designing because I design all the designs.

I'm like, okay, this is kind of cheesy.

Is this.

You know what I mean?

But it's been so fun because the pieces are all unique.

So they're all different brands, like, popular brands.

Yeah.

But then they're all totally unique to you.

That's something like too is.

I feel like a lot of the Christian apparel can look exactly the same.

Yes.

And I think what People like, that's different is that they're like, you can get a shirt from Aerie or Nike or whatever, and it's got, like, Right.

Something different on it.

So I think.

Same thing, too, is like, just.

Yeah.

It's been so cool to see how he's just used that and grown that from where it was.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So Taylor, she, again, if you miss that, she kind of.

She'll go thrifting and she'll pick a couple different pieces and then she'll print on it.

So, like, the sweatshirt I have on now, it says, make heaven crowded.

I have another one that says, spirit, lead me, which I love that.

Yeah.

That's one of my favorites.

Let's go.

Yes, Lord, lead me.

I love that one.

Yeah.

The one that Taylor's wearing has her logo on it, and on the back it says, jesus saved my life.

And I'm like, let's go.

I'm, like, so pumped up to see that you are even, like, advancing and what you're doing, because it's.

Again, it's just God dropping that.

And you say, this is going to be more.

Same thing with podcasting.

For me, I'm like, this is just.

Yeah.

I thought it was just some cool thing.

I have a lot.

You know, I've led worship for a long time.

I have a lot in my heart, in my mind, that I just don't talk about as much.

So I thought maybe it was like, this thing.

Yeah.

But I did a.

I was looking at some of the episodes that I had, and it shows you where it's gone in Sense of World.

And there's downloads in Malaysia and Kenya and London.

Oh, praise God.

That's so cool.

This is not just about Granville growing up.

It's West Michigan.

That's.

Who knows?

And so it's like, not to say, like, oh, I want to, like, be all over him.

I'm like, God, you get to encounter people.

Yeah.

Through this conversation, through this podcast.

Yeah.

All over the world so that people can encounter you.

Like, how cool.

Like the advancement.

Yeah.

God's, like, taking advantage, in a sense, in a good way, of the advancement.

Because when Jesus.

I mean, Jesus didn't have Instagram and you can, like, go live and things like that.

Like, that would be amazing.

But, like, all these things, and now God's like, I'm going to use this.

Yeah.

For my glory.

Yeah.

The Bible says that we should be partnering with his coming back and that he's not in a rush and he's not slow, but he wants everyone to Hear the gospel.

Yeah.

Which means that we're a part of that.

Yeah.

And we get to use our era, our generation, to reach people for the glory of the Lord.

Yeah.

And I just think.

Okay, Lauren, you're just so cool and how you.

Yeah.

Like, move and navigate and.

Anyway, so I love, love that.

Okay, so tell me a little bit about your testimony.

I want to know.

So, okay, I just.

I did the math the other day.

I was like, Taylor is 22, 23.

I'm 21.

I'll be 22 in May.

She'll be 20.

Okay.

She's 21.

Yeah.

Yeah.

She's so.

She's a little baby.

But I also just, like, I've loved your boldness.

And it is just a new generation, 100%.

You know, it's like Gen Z.

They're just.

You guys are just.

You're going for it, and I'm absolutely here for it.

I'm keeping up.

I'm like, I'm in it.

And I just love.

But to know that, like, you have a testimony, you love the Lord, you want to see people share the gospel.

And you are 21 years old.

Yeah.

And my era, 21 years old, looked different for a lot of people, like, doing.

Doing what you're doing.

And I just think it's amazing.

And I'm so proud of you.

And the generation for that is, like, really, like, going after the Lord.

Like, I'm so here for.

I'm like, they are not going to outrun me.

I'm going to run with them.

Yeah, let's go.

So, anyways, tell us a little bit about, like, yourself.

Like, tell us about your testimony.

Anything you want to share.

Like, I'm totally here for which.

So for me, I feel like it's kind of funny.

I was looking over my testimony that I had shared at that show.

I was kind of looking at it, and I felt like God just kind of reminded me that, like, I.

When I talk about my testimony today, like, my testimony is messy, and it's okay for me to talk about it being messy.

Yes.

And I don't need to, like, have this script and be like, okay, so this and this and this and this.

Yeah.

So honestly, like, growing up, I was super spunky, super outgoing.

I was involved in a bunch of different sports, like, totally, like, go getter.

And then once I started hitting middle school, there was some, like, events that had happened in my life.

Just, like, some loss of, like, a family member.

I had grown up with a best friend who I did everything with, and then she just like, had to up and move.

Wow.

And then I had to go to middle school.

And so there was just, like, a lot of different things where I was like, oh, my gosh, like, who am I?

You know what I mean?

Like, trying to find my identity and who I was.

And I really started to struggle with anxiety.

It was to the point where I could hardly go to school.

I was throwing up all the time.

I was like, horrible panic attacks.

And it was just like, what is going on?

Because it was like I had.

I was just not who I was.

Yeah.

And so it's just been like.

Like, now I can say that, like, I get panic attacks once in a while, but I just really, like, I can handle them.

Obviously, the Lord.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, for sure.

But in the time I.

And I grew up in a Christian home, I like all that type of stuff.

And so for me, it was like, I began to find it as, like, my identity.

Like, okay, so what did I do wrong?

Like, why am I.

You know, why am I dealing with this?

Like, obviously, like, God's, like, punishing me for something or, like.

You know what I mean?

I saw it as.

I remember just crying out, like, can you just take this away?

And it was just, like.

It was really, really hard.

And so we tried different therapies, different medications, like, all these different things.

And I feel like I really didn't start seeing healing, like, up until, like, honestly, like, my sophomore year of high school.

And this started in, like, sixth grade.

And so it was.

It was a lot.

And I was really, really so young, too.

Yeah.

For that to happen.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I feel like that's part of the reason why.

I mean, I feel like I'm a lot more mature and have, like, seen a lot and been through a lot.

That, like, is because I started facing that so young.

Yeah.

And so I finally feel like I got to a point in high school where I actually started seeing a Christian therapist.

And I am such an advocate for therapy.

Amen.

Like, you're not meant to carry that on your own.

Amen.

And so I started seeing a Christian therapist because at the age, too, my parents were doing a lot of fighting for me as well, because I was just so young.

And my mom was like, just kept saying, something is not right.

Like, something's not right.

And so I saw a different therapist, and she was like, I had been misdiagnosed.

I was taking medication for something I didn't have.

And it was.

Yeah.

And so you can.

I can't even imagine my parents are probably just so, like, really heartbroken.

Yeah.

And so it's just like.

So I started going to a Christian therapist and just, like.

Just like, getting mentors.

And really, like, when I got to a point where I didn't see it as a weakness, but saw it as something that God was like.

One of my favorite verses, which I can't think of words from.

But when God talks about how your challenges are going to be for glory and talks about how therefore, endurance.

And so when I finally, like, took that switch and was like, okay, like, as hard as this is, God has something he's going to do with it.

Yeah.

And when I finally started to get to a point where I was like, okay, I don't have to live this way.

Yeah.

And so just started facing, like, my anxiety, like, head on.

And I think when I finally got to a point where I wasn't, like, per se angry with the Lord, but really realized, like, he is who I need.

Yeah.

Is when I finally started to get that breakthrough.

Yeah.

And it wasn't like God healed me all at once.

Which is one thing, as weird as it sounds, that I'm actually grateful for, because then I can really see how he moved in so many ways.

Wow.

Which is something I was so frustrated about.

Like, I could literally get emotional about it.

I was so frustrated for years.

Like, why did this take so long?

Why didn't you heal me at once?

You know what I mean?

But then looking back at it and sharing my testimony with people, you can see how he used all those little things and how all of those things.

I could see him in all of it.

And it shows his faithfulness through everything.

And so really, again, like, just being vulnerable and just, like, seeking that help, taking that step, really leaning in on the Lord and just.

And obviously through a lot of just, like, healing from the Lord too.

Like, a lot of stuff just can't be explained.

I mean, like, even when you're at church and they, like, do the altar call, like, something about going up there.

Like, I still to this day get prayed over all the time.

And it's just something about that.

Like, I still do struggle with it, but viewing it as something that the Lord is using for me instead of, like, a punishment is what really has changed my perspective on it.

And so I think something for my business is just like, there's the mental health of people now is just.

It's so crazy.

And it breaks my heart.

Yeah.

I'm a substitute teacher actually, too, so I do that once in a while.

But even hearing from kids in districts, even at a young age, like I was.

And just seeing them where I was just like, tears my heart.

Yeah.

But also I feel like it gives me the extra sympathy to be able to, like, meet them where they're at.

Yeah.

And so I think something about that I do really like about our generation is that I feel like we're getting to the point where we are not as ashamed of mental health.

Yeah.

And we're really talking about it.

And so for me, that's just been something that's been really important, is just really being vulnerable about it and not vulnerable about it and not being ashamed of it.

And I think that's what's really helped grow my business as well, is using that as a tool to viewing it as like, this is what I'm going to do with my business, rather than just having it be.

You know what I mean, a side thing.

And so out of high school, I actually was a massage therapist.

I was a medical massage therapist.

So I was doing that, and I really just was like, it was cool.

But the Lord just kept telling me, like, this is not what I've called you to do.

And I wasn't like, it was good, but I wasn't, like, doing my full potential.

It was almost like I was kind of in a comfortable state.

Yeah.

So I was like, okay, like, where do you want me?

And then opportunity came up to be a special education para.

So I did that last year.

I loved it.

But again, it was like my business was getting all these opportunities, and it was always like, a side thing to me.

Right.

And when I got married, like, my husband, I were talking about it.

He's like, why don't you just try to do this time?

And I'm like, you know, we just kept praying about it and God, the same thing was like, you need to do this.

Wow.

And so I still am very passionate about working with those kids.

But it's nice that I get to sub.

But I also get to do my business at the same time.

So it's just been a huge blessing, and I'm excited to see where the Lord takes it.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yes.

I mean, I can feel.

Yeah.

The Lord all over that.

Yeah.

Like, it's.

Again, it always seems obvious to others and not to ourselves.

You're like, well, you know, maybe it's.

And God's like, no, this is.

Yeah, this is the father's work.

This is what he wants to do.

Restoring lives in very abnormal ways.

Yeah.

You don't even.

You know, you don't even count for.

And I like what you said about, like, how you are thankful that God just didn't heal you all at once.

Yeah.

Like, that seems radical to a lot of people.

Because even people who are not saved, like, why can't God just do it?

Yeah.

Why can't God just stop this or stop that?

And as you grow in your faith and maturity and understand who God is.

Yeah.

That.

Because he.

Yeah, he could.

He could do a lot of things instantly.

But where's the depth?

Where's the understanding?

His heart, the rel.

It's all about relationship.

God just wants relationships.

So it's like, can you trust him with the first step?

Can you trust him with the second step?

Yeah.

And the third?

Like, he's going to.

And really, you know, the hope of the glory is that, you know, when he returns, all of it's gone.

That is the hope of glory.

Yeah.

So we get to still have our thorn in a sense.

We get to still declare his goodness and his glory.

And God uses that in so many ways.

Like, I was.

I have so many different stories or just like, things that I've read about people who are, like, praying for other people who have cancer who also have cancer.

Yeah.

Like, what is that?

That's like.

Yeah, that's upside down kingdom.

But that is how God's kingdom works.

It is upside down.

Yeah.

But it is the most powerful.

It's the most advancement.

And some of it we can't understand.

Like, there's mysteries, Right.

The Bible says there's mysteries.

Yeah.

Of God that we will never understand until the day of heaven.

But to be present in those moments, like, you're saying, like, I got to see how God worked here.

Yeah.

And usually I could cry just thinking about that.

Yeah.

And then to continue to see, well, Taylor, what will God do in the next three years?

Yeah.

Like, that.

You're excited, you're hopeful.

That makes you more, like, hungry and on fire for God.

And I think God uses those things.

When it's hard.

Yeah.

When it's really hard.

Yeah.

He's there.

And his word never fails.

And he shows himself strong in every season.

And I was thinking about this maybe last week or so, but I, like, I feel like I also really struggle with shame quite a bit.

Like, I'm like, what is this?

Like, it's.

It's obvious, right?

You're like, this is not.

You know, but it.

It seems so real.

Yeah.

Like, it just.

It kind of like it frustrates me.

I'm like, this.

I know what this is.

But why does this feel like like, the thumb is on me.

You know, it's like, what is.

And I was thinking about this process, and I was kind of like a journal a lot.

So I try to write things out because I want to, like, get it out of my head onto paper and just lay it at the feet of Jesus.

And.

And I'm looking at all these things, and I'm writing these things.

I'm like, this doesn't even.

This is not even right.

Like, this is like.

I'm like, this is ridiculous that I'm even like.

Yeah, like, agreeing with any of this.

I'm like, this is obvious.

Sometimes when you see it, you're like, what?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm, like, kind of embarrassed while you're writing it.

Yeah.

I'm like, surely I've overcome this.

Or, you know.

But you know what that does in the moment?

It makes me draw to the Lord.

Yeah.

That is the difference, too, between, like, condemnation and conviction.

Yeah.

Like, that's.

I had to look at the situation of what I was feeling.

Do I feel drawn to God, or do I feel pushed away from God?

Yeah.

If I feel pushed away from God, that is the enemy.

Yeah.

If I push.

If I feel pushed toward the Lord and gentleness, not out of, like, fear, like, bad fear, like shame fear, but out of, like, love.

I just love you, and I want your healing for my life.

Like, that's what keeps pulling us and drawing us closer to him.

Yeah.

Is being able to identify the source.

Yeah.

In the end, it's hard in the moment.

Right.

I mean, you have to continue to learn that.

Yeah.

Right.

We still struggle with things.

Yeah.

We still have to go.

Okay, put on the whiteboard.

What is this saying?

What is this saying?

And, like, okay, Lord, this is who you are.

This is who you say that you are, and then live out of that.

That was a huge thing for me, too, I think, was identifying, like, where is my anxiety coming from?

Yes.

And some of the fears.

Like, I even remember growing up, like, I would say to my parents, and then I would, like, audibly laugh afterwards.

I'm like, wait, why am I worried about this?

Like, the what if game is crazy.

Oh, so crazy.

Yeah.

Yes, ma'am.

Yeah.

And so my mom actually would tell me, she would say, like, start saying, even if.

Like, even if this does happen.

You know what I mean?

And so, really, like.

Like, you said, identifying, like, where is this thought coming from?

Yeah.

And just, like, something really interesting is our brains that I learned that anxiety and gratitude cannot coexist.

And so when you switch those the fear, the anxiety, when you're really intentional about, like, switching that, it's.

It's amazing.

And so I think.

So, Right.

Once I started identifying, like, okay, this is from the enemy.

Yeah.

That is not true.

Yeah.

And just really identifying that brings so much breakthrough as well.

It really does.

Yeah.

Because then you really can step into that gratitude and you really can operate in the freedom.

Like, this is what freedom feels like.

Yeah.

You know, and then if you feel that again, like, feel went back into shame or to fear, like, no, no, no, no, no.

Yeah.

This is not the place that God's called me to live.

That isn't.

God hasn't called me to the.

To the pig pen.

He's called me to the palace.

Yeah.

So I have to lean into that.

And I guess the big, big thing.

Yes.

Is identifying.

Yeah.

Like, you're right, Taylor.

It's super hard to identify because you just.

Let's be real.

Sometimes you just, like, kind of want to, like, have the pity party.

Yeah.

You kind of want to just be like, well, yeah, I am upset, and this is just.

Whatever.

This is just how it is.

Yeah.

But it's like.

But that's not always.

Like, our feelings aren't always true.

Yeah.

They're kind of like just little demons, really, sometimes.

Right.

It's like, okay, thank you for identifying that I feel this way, but this is not actually true or how I'm to live my life.

Yeah.

And really identifying that shame.

And one thing for me is, like, just as a believer and even as a worship leader, it's like when I start feeling that condemnation from the enemy and you feel.

Feel the shame and the fear and the anxiety starts coming in.

Like, it's hard for me to go into the presence of God because I feel so ashamed.

And then I'm trying to lead people into a place where I don't even feel that I'm welcoming.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Which is wild.

And then even, like, in my home, it's like, I'm feeling anxious.

But then, like, my kids, you know, sometimes they have things that they say, like trying to help them.

They're like, no, this is the truth.

I'm like.

And God's like, you could tell yourself that, too.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm like, it's.

It's.

It's such a struggle.

But one thing that I found is therapy.

100%.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And talking to somebody.

Yeah.

Like, someone that you trust, someone that you can just say anything.

You don't have to correct yourself all the time.

You're just talking to that person and journaling, like, really, like, being able to do those things that help you process.

But, you know, there's the saying that says, you know, if you have darkness in your mind and you leave it in there, it's going to continue to be dark.

But once you declare that darkness out loud, like, the light shines on it, and then truth can be revealed.

And it's like, we have to get to that place as believers.

And again, just going back to Gen Z, it's like, you guys are like, let's deal with it then.

Yeah.

You know, it's not like, oh, like, I feel like millennials, you know, we're just like, well, we don't want people to think we're weird or we don't want to.

Like, we're just going to keep it in our box and share it.

Yeah.

With the 12 people.

But God's like, hey, I want to use this.

Yeah.

Like, don't just keep it to your.

Your little circle.

And don't go through this alone.

Yeah.

Like, when I was, you know, had all three of my kids, it was like, I just felt like I didn't want to ask for help.

Yeah.

Because it was, like, too much.

I'm in the generation.

We just don't want to ask for help.

We don't want to say.

And you guys are like, hey, this is what's going on.

Gen Z is like, oh, this is what's going on.

We want help.

We want support.

We are, like, here, you know, to be a light to each other.

Um, and we need to continue to recognize that we need each other.

Yeah.

Like, I can hear you sharing your testimony and being like, wow, that's how I felt 10 years ago.

Yeah.

Or even now.

Yeah.

Some things.

And knowing that, like, your age doesn't define your.

Your.

Your encounters with the Lord, in a sense.

You know, your testimony, it doesn't.

It doesn't belittle that testimony.

It magnifies it.

Yeah.

And, like, what my testimony can be, regardless of how old I am, like, it magnifies and we can share.

That's the goodness of God.

Right.

It's like being in the family of God.

Yeah.

And so we can share our testimonies in different seasons and different generations.

And knowing that God wants to bring freedom.

Yeah.

And in every way, shape and form.

And so I love that you.

I was just going to say, I love that you.

At a very young age, we're like, no, I'm going to.

I'm going to deal with this.

Like, you know, and you have Godly parents are saying, we are also going to fight for this man.

Praise God for praying, Mama.

And.

Oh, yeah.

Like, yeah, thank you, Jesus.

Those parents that really pray, break your food and go and walk through it with you.

Go out.

Yeah.

And not give up.

Like, those are the parents.

That's the kind of parent I want to be.

Yeah.

And those are the parents that even, like, our generation needs as well.

And so to have that and knowing that your parents were like, we're gonna fight this with you at a young age.

Yeah.

Like, I just think it's such a.

An amazing platform for you, in a good way.

In a very humble way.

Yeah.

To share God's gospel.

Yeah.

And you can.

And you can sense it.

Yeah.

You know, and I'm just.

Anyways, I'm just encouraging you.

I just think you're doing such an amazing job, you.

And I think it's really cool for.

Even for me to be able to see from a distance and not even fully know.

Yeah.

But I'm like.

I can sense.

I'm like, oh, there's something different here.

This isn't just, you know, it's like, I'm going to call Taylor, see if she wants to come on the podcast.

We haven't really chatted, but I.

But she's got an anointing on her life, and God's given her a call that I know that other people need to hear.

And I know it's also creating breakthrough for you.

Yeah.

Because as you share your testimony.

Right.

The word says, we are overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony.

Yeah.

And I think every time that you share that testimony is another level of breakthrough for you.

Yeah.

Like, anyways, I'm super, super excited for that.

For that, for you and for your business to come.

I'm, like, super stoked for that.

Yeah.

Okay.

So I'm.

I'm gonna ask another question.

Yeah.

How much time I got?

Okay.

We're doing good.

Yeah.

I would love.

Let's see.

I have so many different questions, but one could be, like, if someone's listening right now and they're.

Maybe they're feeling that tug of, like, I want to do something radical for Jesus, and I don't know what.

And it maybe is a business, maybe it's fashion, or maybe it's something like that.

What do you think the first step or what way can you encourage this person that may be listening to take a step into doing something like starting a business and.

Or just maybe encouraging them in their walk with mental health?

What's the first step for them.

Yeah, I think the first step, honestly, the first word that comes to my mind right away is obedience.

Good.

And honestly, I did my devotions this morning and what was really interesting is I was talking about how when the Holy Spirit tries to nudge you of something, like, gives you that you should do this.

The more we ignore him, the harder it is for us to hear him.

The more that we go with what he says, the easier it is.

Yeah.

So I think for.

What I would have to say to the listener is like, if.

If God is even putting on your heart, like, I want to use you in some way, like, keep pressing in and keep obeying that.

Even when you don't know where it's going.

Yes.

Like, for me, when I had decided to do my business full time, I had no idea where it was going and I had no idea what God wanted to do with it.

But I think taking that first step of obedience and being like, okay, you have me, where do you want to take me?

And when the God sees your obedience and sees that you want to take that step, then he'll continue to take.

But I think it's hard for people when they don't see, like, I'm the same way.

I'm.

I like to see the future, like, where's this going to go?

What's this going to be like?

But just I feel like the word I feel is obedience.

So good.

And just taking that step.

Yeah.

And honestly, another thing too is just giving yourself grace.

Like, it's nobody's perfect.

And there's so many things, like I look back on, like the archive post on my page, I'm like, what in the world?

Like, just something Giving yourself that grace of being like, it's okay if I make mistakes.

And really, just like, again, like, the Lord just wants your obedience and he just wants you to take that step for him.

Yeah.

And.

Yeah, I guess that's what I would have to say.

Yeah, that's really good.

I mean, that's.

That's how I feel too.

Even just everything that I've, like stepped into and not knowing where anything is going to go or how to do it.

But like I said, when you, when God's given you a desire.

Yeah.

He's giving you anything, like, oh, it's like the shop, like something small.

He may not give you the whole picture.

Maybe something really small like this.

Make a plan, write it down, submit it to the Lord and he will direct those paths that happen.

It's like, I shared, like, man, it would be really cool sharing this with my husband.

Like, I would love to start a podcast sometime.

I just want to help other worship leaders, but also, like, connect with other people who love Jesus.

Like a discipleship table.

Kind of like, it's like, we just get to grow and love Jesus more in the midst of our conversation.

Like, I would just love that.

And I just kind of threw it out there, kind of, like, in the air.

Like, didn't think I was going to land anywhere.

And circling back around it.

And then my husband.

Same thing is like, why don't you just do it?

Yeah.

What.

What else?

You know?

Yeah.

Like, just taking that first step of being obedient, even, like, because sometimes, again, you touch base.

Like, well, how do you know God's telling you to do something?

It's in the small things.

Yeah.

The small, obedient pieces that brings the bigger things.

Right.

It's like I'm.

I'm in the middle still of reading about the Israelites.

And, I mean, it's.

I feel like I'm kind of tired about reading the Israelites because they're doing the same thing.

Yeah.

And, like, God just asked them to do the small thing.

First things first.

Just small obey here, then the next step.

Yeah.

Because the picture is grander.

Right.

The promised land is epic.

Yeah.

Like, what he has for us.

But when we just were afraid to step out or we're not.

You know, I'm too young, I'm too old.

I'm this, I'm that.

You give them the excuses.

Right.

Moses saying, I stutter.

God's not looking for your excuses.

He just wants your obedience.

Absolutely.

And I think it does take courage to do that.

Yeah.

But has he failed anytime?

No.

Is God's record is perfect.

Yeah.

So why would he let one down?

Yeah.

If he's been faithful for generations to generations.

Yeah.

And I feel like taking the time to really intentionally hear from him is super important, too.

That's real.

So good.

Yeah.

I think I feel way more disconnected or I get in my head about, like, you know, wow, why am I even doing this?

Like this.

You know what I mean?

But then when I find myself intentionally, like, taking time for the Lord and really seeking him, then I don't feel that, like, from the enemy of, like, oh, why am I like.

You know what I mean?

Absolutely.

So I think, too, that's really important, like, when you take that obedience to really, like, confine in the Lord and really make sure you're taking that space to hear from him.

Yeah.

So then you do know the next steps.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

I was actually just having this epiphany a couple weeks ago of like, I was.

I was getting kind of frustrated with my husband because I was like, I'm.

I have all these expectations.

Like, I think I'm like, well, how come you didn't do that?

How come you didn't do that?

And I was just like, all these, like, the poor man can't have all these expectations that I have for this one person.

Like all the way of Sounds like.

Something that's happened with us too.

Like, wait a minute, you didn't do that.

I'm like, I'm expecting this.

I need this, this, this.

And God in his very sweet hum, you know, way really humbled me.

And he said, you are asking for something from your husband that you can only get from me.

Yeah.

It's the communion.

Yeah.

Because when you get feel disconnected with the Lord, you start to go out you outward for other resources to fill.

Yeah.

Things.

Right.

I mean, shopping is also kind of like a.

A thing for me.

It's like, yeah, I want to numb it out, so I'll shop, you know.

Yeah.

I had to be careful with that too.

I was gonna say, is that like a.

Oh, yeah.

How do you navigate budget?

Thank you, God.

I have a separate bank account for all of my saving grace stuff because I think when.

Sometimes when my mental health would get harder, I was, okay, I'll just, this is what I do for business.

But it got to a point where I was like, no, like, I need to be intentional about what I'm buying.

And like, I would honestly, like, it might sound cheesy, but like I would pray and like stuff before I go into the stores and really like view it more intentionally.

Budget like, oh.

Because I've.

So I still fall into that trap all the time.

Same is a good, like, oh, this is a good distraction.

This is it.

It's like, no.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

It's.

It's a temptation.

It really is.

It is.

It's again, it's just like that communion.

Because I feel like if I have intentional time with the Lord and communion with him, when I'm out and about, I can feel the nudges much like closer.

Yeah.

It's like.

And even the desires for that goes away.

Like, yeah, in a sense, like I can go into a store and I'm like, normally I'd be like, yeah, get some coffee, I'm going to go do this, blah, blah, blah.

But because I've communed with the Lord, I'm going to a store and I feel the tenderness of the Lord.

And that desire to just buy anything is not even there because I'm just also.

I just love the Lord.

I want him to be pleased.

Yeah.

I want him to know that I am stewarding the.

The time.

My time and my finances.

And that can be a struggle, too.

That's why I'm like, oh, yeah, sometimes you gotta really submit to the Lord and that just like praying.

That's a really good way.

And it's not cheesy at all.

I think we should pray more.

Yeah.

Yeah.

About things that seems cheesy to do, but it's like, no.

Like, the Lord has called us to be equipped and everywhere that we go.

And you are also like, we're.

We're being an example.

Like, I have to be example to my kids.

And.

Yeah.

Knowing what that looks like.

And I think when we try to fill things in our lives.

Yeah.

It's the reason why we try to do all that.

The reason why I try to get all the expectation and have my husband fill every single need that I have is because my communion with the Lord has not been deep enough.

Yeah.

Because he is a well that never runs dry.

He's the one who fills every.

Every room in my heart.

And so I think just communion with the Lord is just so important.

And really, this podcast is kind of like this.

We're pulling people back to the heart of worship.

We're just.

The conversations are just to say, come back to the well.

Yeah.

Stay here.

This is where it is.

This is where the magic is.

This is where you will survive in his presence and just Jesus, not other things, like just him, you know?

And so, Taylor, I would love if you would just pray for us.

Pray for those who are listening.

You can pray anything that your heart is stirring or God's calling you to.

To pray, but just pray for our time here.

Okay?

Dear God, thank you for this space and for this time together.

God, thank you that your Holy Spirit was present and that you just allowed us to have such good conversation.

God, I pray for anyone who's listening.

God, I pray that you would soften their hearts.

I pray that this would reach people, people that need to hear it, and I pray that they would continue to listen to your Holy Spirit.

And, God, I pray for anybody that's going through anxiety or mental health and just those struggles.

I pray that you would just give them your peace.

God, would you wrap your arms around them and just let them know that everything is going to be okay.

I pray that you would give them courage.

For the next step to be vulnerable, to get themselves help.

And I pray for people who are also feeling that nudge of they want to start a business or they want to start a podcast or they want to do that next step, but they don't know where to go.

God, I pray that you would give them that obedience.

Yes, Lord.

And the courage to be able to do that even though when they don't know the next steps.

Yeah.

And yeah, God, thank you so much for this time and we love you.

Jesus.

Name I pray.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Taylor, thank you so much for being here.

Honestly, this has been such a gift and again, my heart is just burning with just love for Jesus because as we talk, we talk about him, he just shows up and it's been really encouraging.

Loved hearing your testimony.

Anyways, I'm just so thankful.

Yeah, this was so fun.

So much for being here.

Yeah, I loved it too.

Yes, we will definitely do this again.

This is so, so fun.

But if you're listening and you want to connect with Taylor, which you should absolutely 100,000% connect with Taylor on Instagram.

She's two Instagram accounts because one's her shop and one's her personal connect, both Saving Grace Thrift and Taylor Cross.

I will leave both of those links into the show notes so you can easily find those.

But you want to connect with Taylor.

She has amazing products that she posts on her Instagram, but she also shares really amazing, vulnerable stories that are really encouraging and I think would encourage you as you journey to love the Lord and love close while you're.

While you love the Lord as well.

And so I'll leave all that into the notes before.

If you have loved and been encouraged by this podcast or even this episode, it would be a blessing to me if you would leave a review, leave five stars and more.

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It would bless.

This does more than just like help me in my ratings because that's not what I'm going for.

It really is to reach people.

And as you heard me earlier, I said that we've even reached people in Malaysia and in Kenya and this is an opportunity for the gospel to go forth, for the encouragement and the testimonies to go forth.

So please and thank you subscribe and thank you so much for the support.

This is our 10th episode which is so exciting and we'll catch you on the next episode.

Worship Leader.

Pod, we out.