Hello Hello and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

your host Aurora, life coach and companion on this beautiful

journey called life. And today with me, Frank De Lucio, a dear

friend, dear, very dear inspiration for myself on my

darkest days, but also on my happy days. He is an aspiring

author, a writer and editor. He hasn't published a book yet, but

he, I can feel it is about to create something beautiful for

us out there. He's a podcaster. He's a social

influencer. And just a very powerful light that I'm very

excited to connect personally with today, we want to talk

about

how to keep sane and crazy times how to keep grounded how to not

get suffocated by anxiety, how to not drown and despair.

We're both very similar and that we we love to support other

people, we love to see other people blossom and reach their

goals and dreams. At the same time, we have to be very careful

to not burn ourselves out in order to pursue this beautiful

career that we both chose. So I thought frank with his beautiful

podcast, let me be frank,

I love this title

is going to be a beautiful powerhouse, to listen to.

Welcome to the show. Frank, thank you so much for making the

time to be here with us.

Thank you so much Aurora, I just want to acknowledge to that you

are a huge inspiration as well. And there was something you

posted recently, when that I really loved and I respect a

lot. And it had to do with just feeling off one day. And I know

with people in our field of work, sometimes it seems like

almost inhuman in the sense that like, we have to be happy all

the time. And it's just not like that. And it's really brave. I

think that and both of us have done this where you can show

that other side of it too. So that it's like, hey, like this

is actually very relatable. And you know, they are human beings

just like us too.

Yes, yeah. And I remember your post and your comment, I mean,

and it gave me so much strength and made me feel so seen as a

human being so again, thank you so much for for having so much

empathy and understanding. That's really your strength.

I want to ask you, first thing now

being such a support such a rock for other people, how do you

manage to make time for yourself and, and to know that you're

deeply worthy of self care?

Because I feel sometimes people who have so such a big heart,

forget about themselves and even think, oh, now I'm gonna be

selfish if I sleep in or if I say no to somebody? How do you

navigate these times of? Yeah, people, a lot of people need

you. But also you have to have your own back and stand your

ground at times. How do you manage that?

That's a great question. And a lot of those things you said to

it's, it's funny, because I've had a couple people in the

comments. Oh, kinda hit me for a second because they will say,

Hey, make sure you're making time for yourself too. And it'll

be those little reminders where I go, Oh, man, am I like I am

putting a lot out I'm trying to be there for everyone. And it's

a little reminder to us that yeah, we have to give ourselves

that care and that time and that love because not only will we

just start feeling burnt out but just I don't know I think will

serve feeling alone and depressed or anxiety filled.

There's so many different things. Someone can feel I

think, when it comes to dealing with burnout personally, I

almost feel like you have to or I feel like the best people to

listen to are the people who have experienced it a lot. And

because I feel like when you experience it yourself and work

on overcoming it, you really discover tools that

work and more importantly, tools that work for you yourself.

Because sometimes, we need different techniques or

different strategies. Like for example, I'm more of a morning

person, but some of my things might not work for someone who

works. Third shift to is up all night. Like there's, you know,

there's different strategies to things. So maybe everything I

say today won't necessarily help like us specifically. But

hopefully, you know, people can get certain things out of it, as

well. Some things that I've discovered myself, I mean, to

start off basic to do list are just everything. I think as we

get older, our memory sucks.

For the most part, I can

say lightly, no, I mean, some people, you know, still have

great memories. But I just think as you get older sometimes and

life feels really busy that a to do list is whether it's in your

phone or writing down, I personally like to write

everything down, and sometimes even hang it up so that you can

look at it, I have a big calendar, where I'm like, oh,

cool, like I can always see when something's right there. It's

just a little reminder, it's not out of view. So that's like

something basic that I usually we'll start off, start the day

off, right. And kind of just like sit because I feel like

when, when we don't have a plan in motion, and we don't start

the day off, right, we can just feel kind of lost. That's how I

have felt, personally, where I'm like, where's my direction, and

people usually don't like to feel like they have no direction

or no purpose in their day or in their life. I've noticed or at

least people who experience anxiety and depression, that's

tends to be a little bit of a theme, including what I've seen

in myself.

I would say one best way. So when it comes to the burnouts,

specifically, one of the best things that I can do for myself

is it's, it can still be a challenge to do at times,

because if you're like me out there, you might be that type of

person that thinks I want to get all my work done. And it doesn't

matter how long it takes, I just need to get it done. I think one

of the best things we can do is give yourself a specific time.

For me, I try to do usually like four or 5pm, usually 5pm, the

latest like you give yourself that time. And even if you

didn't finish stuff, you have to end your workday at that time.

Oh, it's not easy, because you might start feeling overwhelmed,

it might not help like when you go to bed thinking, Oh, I still

have all these things to do. The way that I look at it is I'm

like that's the time for you to technically turn off your brain

is what I call it, which it's like, I guess your work brain.

Yeah. So I will literally usually my work is from a

computer most of the time. So I will five o'clock will hit, I

will stand up

almost like a robot where you just kind of stand up and you

just start walking. And I just walk away from it. And it was

very strange to do at first because I'm like, it's just a

weird feeling. It's like it feels like you're walking away

from just you know, unfinished work or whatever. But at the

same time, it's like the works gonna be there. The next day,

even when I was working more of a nine, a nine to five job, the

work was still there the next day, we obviously have deadlines

for things that we want to do. But that's why it's important to

create a plan. I always I was told by an old boss that it

should be 90% planning 10% execution. So if you plan

everything out really well, then you don't have to put so much

attention into the execution itself, it's going to fall

through and most likely you will get your work done.

That just

sorry, that makes so much sense.

I can also see that if I was to get up at four and let's say two

days in a row, I would feel like ah shit like I could have I

couldn't have been more productive the next day, the

third day, I will achieve more in the same time because I don't

want that feeling of of leaving things behind. But I still want

4pm to be my cutoff time. So it kind of forces you maybe to be

more productive because you know afterwards you have downtime

where you can relax.

Yes, because that's the thing I think for me at least it helps

with focus a lot because then I could tell myself so maybe

during the work day which obviously you know if you need

to take like a 10 or 15 minute break here and there. I mean we

got to eat too. And stuff I get it like you can take a break

here and there of course but it's nice to think about okay, I

have like this few hours I have this block of time where I can

do it.

anything, like if I want to do laundry, or if I want to go

outside and catch butterflies with a butterfly net, I can go

do that during that time, because I made a specific plan

for that. So that when you are during your work time, at least,

you know, like, it's something for me at least it's something

to look forward to as well. That's why I like to do the

work. And then the fun stuff. Because sometimes when you are

like, well, I'll do the fun stuff first, and then I'll work

it's, you know, you will, most likely won't. I haven't in my

past. I'm like, Well, I'm doing the fun stuff. Let's keep doing

the fun stuff. It's that dopamine hits Nice.

Yeah, so besides, besides that, I think what's important with

burnout as well, and I've been learning about this more

recently is developing a healthy sleep schedule. And like having

better sleep hygiene. So I feel like it's, you know, so many of

us will stay up so late, whether it's just us, either, we'll use

that time as our relaxed time, and then we're affecting our

sleep, which then carries into the next day, and we might not

start the day off, right, it's just a bad pattern. It's a it's

a chain of events. And I feel like with the healthy sleep

schedule, you can still do little things, but then also get

the appropriate amount of sleep. And what mine is, specifically

what I've been doing is usually how I kind of, I guess for me,

or I guess for a lot of people can happen where we kind of have

those racing thoughts before we go to bed. So one thing that

helps me a lot is I know I need to calm down, I need to calm

down those thoughts. So usually, I will do some sort of night

meditation that lasts like 10 minutes. At most that will, what

I love about meditation is, especially with someone who's

also speaking as well, it lets you it kind of transforms you

into like this other world, so that you can leave those other

thoughts to the side. And if they're really, really important

thoughts, then write them down, and then reset, because then you

don't forget the thoughts, at least they're on a paper, you

can put them near your bed, and then yeah, and then you have

permission to let them go. Now, we can only remember so much at

once or only have so much on our plates. So I will do that little

meditation that kind of calms the heart rate down and my

thoughts. And then I love to read. And I also have been

journal writing more. So that's when I'll pull out one of those

at least, and do that before bed and really try. And you don't

have to do this. But I think it helps is really trying not to be

scrolling on the phone or some sort of screen or technology. I

just feel like with that blue light that just causes us to

stay up like our minds are like, Oh, it's a time when it's not or

it's like it's time to be awake and have fun when it's like now

it's time to go to sleep. So that's that's kind of another

thing, I pretty much just do these little activities that end

up just knocking me right out. I almost never have sleep problems

now, which is great.

So, so healing, would you say there and more and more people

start realizing this that if your doctor doesn't ask you for

your sleep patterns. If he's only concerned about your food

intake or alcohol intake, but doesn't ask any questions

regarding your sleep, then he is most of the time missing the

point because we need sleep to recharge our batteries and detox

our mind. And very important thing that you mentioned there

is that you write stuff down because your monkey mind will

come up with ideas to keep thinking and to keep being

engaged and all but I don't want to forget all but I want to

problem solve this for the next eight hours.

To to write it down and to tell your monkey mind, hey, you can

relax now I have it written down and tomorrow morning, I'll take

care of it. And to kind of

turn the volume down of that little guy up there and turn up

the volume of

guided meditation or reading an inspiring book is those are very

powerful tools that I use myself. And we'd like people to

at least try

and

so that was the the evening routine. Do you have a routine

in the morning? When you get up and start your day I noticed

that

this is where my anxiety peaks right after waking up where I'm

like, Oh my God, there's so much to do so much to call

unleash.

How is it for you? Do you have a couple of tips and tricks for

the morning?

So the kind of tie in the night and the morning a little bit

with what you asked said is, I actually consider it an

advantage. When you do have those thoughts racing that you

can write it down, because then it gives you your to do list in

a sense for the next morning. It's like, oh, cool, you're

already prepared to start off, right? Because that was your

relaxed time that you got. And you're using just a couple

minutes just to get all that down to where now you don't have

to use your time in the morning to be scrambling around and be

like, Oh, my God, what do I have to do? The list is right there.

So it's kind of I see that, that at least in a way, that's me, I

guess trying to turn a negative into a positive, where you might

think racing thoughts is a weakness, where it's like, no,

you can actually use that to your advantage. With the with

the morning schedule, my morning schedule has altered here and

there. And that's the other thing too, is sometimes the same

schedule can get a little monotonous. So you might want to

change it up here and there. I think that's perfectly fine,

too. As long as you're getting your stuff done. Some of the

things that have stayed the same for me is I will wake up

usually, what's pretty bad as I don't even need an alarm clock

anymore. At this point, my circadian rhythm is just like

having me up at six in the morning. Or like 630 The latest

it's crazy how that happens. I use I'm like, That's unheard of

people think I'm not but but um, I usually like 6am is a perfect

time. If I wake up a little earlier a little later. I try

not you know, if it's a little bit later, specifically, I you

know, you can't stress about that it life happens, you're not

going to always you might not always wake up at the exact same

minute or feel good every morning waking up. But they're

still like the best thing is yeah, definitely don't stress

about that, because it just will lead you in a hole. Yeah, it

could definitely increase the anxiety to where things seem

more complicated and out of reach than they really are, when

it's always in the same spot. Your goals, I guess what I mean,

so. So I always one of the best things I added to my morning

schedule is stretching. And I've only had to do it for like two

to three minutes. At least, if I can fit, I usually do like a two

to five minutes. But if you can at least get because there's a

lot of people are like, I don't have time to do that. Two

minutes, take two minutes to just stretch out your arms, legs

and back and chest area. I used to have horrible, I was starting

to develop a really horrible upper back pain and like kind of

in my neck, but the shoulder blades specifically. And that

was a couple years ago ever since I did at least two minutes

stretching every morning have not had back pain since. And

it's crazy. Like I just I was starting to accept the fate of

I'm getting older. So I have to feel like crap. And I have to be

miserable. Because aging and it's like it doesn't need to be

that way. There are people out there who are 8596 years old,

that are still running marathons and feeling great. And it's

because they came up with these routines that are healthy for

them and that work for them. So it's to me, it's inspiring. And

it reminds me like okay, yeah, you don't, you don't you can,

you don't have to be miserable in this life, we get the one

life and let's, you know, let's work with as much as we can.

So yeah, the stretching really helps. I actually try to, I'm a

big reader. And I also kind of with my morning and my night. It

just really is it's kind of like a book analogy. I like to look

at it as two bookends. So certain things I do at night I

try to also do in the morning. So for example, I will try to

read at least a chapter morning and night because it's like a

good way to start the day like it gets the mind moving a little

bit just doing some light reading and then at the end you

kind of end your way it's an activity I love so I feel like

something you really enjoy. Have it bookmark on both ends of the

day, have the work in between and then you have something to

start your day on a good way and then something to look forward

to later.

Let's see. Yeah, so like I said, I will usually my minimum is a

chapter I will you know, eat breakfast of course. Well I say

of course some people skip breakfast do not skip breakfast.

I just remember that there's people that won't eat for like

12 hours. I just in my opinion, don't skip breakfast. You

definitely want to I feel like when you do that it just you

don't know you got to nurture your brain not even so much the

food but the nutrients in the food. I feel like that's what we

really need to nurture that brain because if we don't have

that, I know there's been days where I

either like, did it eat a good breakfast like it was either too

small or there was no nutrients in it. And I just was off most

of the day and trying to get back trying to get the train

back on the train track. So I feel like that's really

important. I, I'm guilty of this that game wordly has entered my

morning routine. But it's actually and for people who

don't know what wordly is, it's, it's owned by New York Times

now, you guess you have six chances to guess a five letter

word. And at first, I viewed this as Oh, no, this is like

some new game addiction that I don't need on my phone, or I

don't need to like waste time over the good news, a couple of

things. One, it's a new puzzle only once a day. So once you

solve it, you have to wait a whole other day to solve a new

one. And two, I realized it actually was developing my

because in a way, it's like a word puzzle. It's kind of

similar to like a sudoku type of thing. So it gets your brain

working in the morning. And I noticed as I've added that, I'm

like, wow, I can even get even more focused. And my problem

solving actually increased a little bit sounds like that's

really cool. So like, it doesn't have to be worldly, but

something that can get your brain thinking like a little bit

of critical thinking a little bit of problem solving before

you even do your work and might help with your actual work a

little bit, because you already started training your brain.

Another thing I will do at times in the morning, if I I mean,

sometimes I'll have like a half hour to do it. Sometimes I might

only have 10 minutes, but it's like some sort of quick little

workout to kind of get like the physical part of me moving and

waking up. So whether it's like some push ups and sit ups or I

have, I own some weights, so might lift a little bit of

weights might jog in place a little bit, I kind of tie that

in with the stretching. So that's like all my physical

stuff to wake me up. And then I kind of will do like the problem

solving. And I guess a big thing that I try not to do like I used

to is, when we wake up, we go right to the cell phone and

write to the social media. And I try to save that for after I'm

right. Like I have to get ready for the day. First, I have to do

all those other things. And then I earned the right to check

social media or check something that might be a little more mind

numbing. Yeah, yeah, that makes total sense. And my main

takeaway from from what you just shared with us is basically that

you get up in the morning for yourself.

Yes, stuff to wake your body up, wake your mind up in a playful

way in a way that feels good. And then you get to social

media, and how can I serve the world. And it doesn't really

matter if you are in a relationship or a single, if you

are a parent, or CEO of some company, get up in the morning,

even if it's just 10 minutes earlier than usual. And just

focus on yourself. I find that super inspiring. And I do that

myself. And sometimes I even at the end of the day, I mute my

day. And I just watch myself from Burt's perspective and see,

what did I do with my body this morning? What did I do over

lunch? What did I do over the afternoon? Was I sitting the

whole day and kind of hunched over and now in the evening, I

wonder that my muscles are sore? Or how much did I use my muscles

and my

my body to get things done and then realize, okay, you need to

take care of your mind and of your body. Because that's going

to influence how you feel. And I love the little stretch the time

you take in the morning.

That is so critical and that it's not half an hour or 20

minutes. That would be way too much for for some people will

start this routine, but just two to five minutes can make such a

difference already. That's, that's really beautiful. Frank,

I would like to ask you now,

these routines that you introduced into your life,

how would you say?

And now if you were in a relationship, how would these

routines that you do for yourself influence your partner?

Or if you are single, how did it better your connection to

yourself? Maybe Maybe you can

talk

about both sides, like if you were in a relationship or if you

are, and if you are single with yourself.

How would it? How would you put that into words?

So, yeah, that's a good question. I maybe this is why

I'm single.

Because the relationship I mean, I haven't been in a relationship

in a while. So it's easier to know how it affects me. When I'm

single, and I guess which I can still answer the other question

too. But it definitely in a single sense, it helped me.

It definitely helped me feel less lost. And it definitely

like you had said to a, it gives priority to yourself, so that

I'm not because when you go,

I feel like when you just the first thing you do if you just

go right on social media, and either you're scrolling or maybe

you're even doing some posting to I feel like you're putting

your energy right into everyone else or everyone else's

opinions. And yeah, you don't give yourself the appropriate

time. I think a lot of us will complain at times that we don't

have enough alone time or enough quiet time or anything. And it's

like honestly, yeah, right. When you wake up, you can. Sometimes

it's figuring out when to wake up. I know people who have

children, it's like you got to you got to find the time when

everyone's sleeping, maybe to do that. But it's possible. It's

not the easiest thing to develop this type of routine or

schedule, but I think it's it can be possible for everyone

just it's going to obviously be different. For everyone with

Yeah, so with being single, it definitely reminded me that

whether we are with someone, or we have a whole family, or we're

single, you have to be number one priority, because if you

don't, you can't take care of anyone else, if you're just

completely lost and a mess. And man, I've been that many times

through my life. So I'm like, I need to Yeah, I need to be okay,

I want to help people in this world. So I have to help myself.

And I have to be okay. Otherwise, I'm not going to

achieve one of my biggest goals, which is that and in the

relationship sense, it's interesting, because there's

someone that I think about one person that I talked to where he

is on a completely opposite schedule as me because he works

third shift. So obviously, the sleep schedules are very

different. And it can be challenging coming up with well,

when do we talk type of thing, because I'm a morning person

waking up at 6am, that person is getting out of work and going to

bed at that time as I'm waking up. So it's literally the sun

and the moon, trying to date.

And we know the sun and the moon usually don't see each other,

but they're passing. So it can, it can definitely be

challenging. And I've done, I've done that thing. And I saw as he

where you will,

I guess you'll kind of sacrifice some of that sleep or some of

that time to try to make it work, when there's definitely

different ways to do it. And that's definitely seeing when's

the same times that you guys are awake. Because yeah, you don't

like for my case, I don't want to have to stay up until one or

two in the morning. Because that person is wide awake, and they

shouldn't have to stay up when they need sleep at like eight

nine in the morning. Just because I'm awake. So it's

definitely it's definitely a compromise that it's not easy.

But it's definitely possible to still find that congruent time

with each other. But then also giving yourself permission to

say, hey, it's so and so time, I need to go to bed. But I'm happy

you know, but let's, let's talk during this time, like let's

give ourselves a specific a lot of time to communicate to see

each other. You know, everyone gets everyone should have some

sort of days off. That's a good time to try to connect that way

as well. But yeah, with relationships that can

definitely be it can be challenging, and it can be easy

to want to completely change that person into your schedule,

which I've you know, and I've had the I've been guilty of

thoughts of that where I'm like, Oh, I just wish this person woke

up the same time I did, and had the same exact schedule, but

that's not reality. Like everyone has different

schedules. It's all about making it work. If you really care

enough about the person, you're going to make it work don't try

to change your partner into something that into you, you

know, like let them be them in that sense because it's

definitely I just think you guys will be happier that way trying

to make it work and you know, without all the resentment and

stuff

Hmm,

that makes total sense. And adding to that,

I'm a little bit the opposite. I'm guilty of throwing

everything overboard, when I meet somebody that is so

interesting, because not now I feel awesome. Now I'm inspired.

Now I'm full of energy, I don't need my stupid self care

anymore. And they will attend.

And then, after a couple months, you realize, Hmm, maybe I should

have my little routines back because the other person

shouldn't feel responsible of my anxiety and feeling.

Not grounded enough. And it can give you a deep sense, like, no

matter if you're single, or in a relationship, it can give you a

deep sense of self. That is hugely attractive for everybody

around you.

I noticed people who are very magnetic people who have that

glow in their eyes, and I count you into

they have a very,

I don't want to say rigid but consistent self care practice.

And, and it shows, it shows that a person is taking care of

themselves. And

it's something that we should all learn to cling to.

With, with everything we have.

I'd like to ask you now, when it comes to everything we're going

through right now, we had COVID First, and now we have

world war three. I don't know if we can call it world war three,

but it definitely feels like it.

For people. I don't know, I didn't ask you like, do you

watch the news a lot? Do you try to keep up?

For people who want to stay informed, but also want to

keep functioning in society, but have a hard time right now to be

okay, and happy with what they have because of so much

suffering?

Is there any advice that you may be received in recent

conversations? Or that you could advise?

Our listeners?

Definitely COVID. So you have before even getting into

Ukraine, because that is a whole other like, wow.

Like, well, these couple of years man event, someone's

really testing us humans. But

I, yeah, COVID was at the beginning. It was like, okay,

I'm good. And my self care was good. And then.

And I think that's because we thought it was going to end

sooner than it did. And then as it set in, where it's like, wow,

this is still going is when it started again, depressing. And

the anxiety started rising. And yeah, my answer, part of my

answer was going to be having to do with the news. And I just

remember when I was younger, the news just didn't seem everywhere

like it is today. Like, even on TV, it just didn't seem so

frequent. There's so many different channels to get the

news. And it's all like similar yet different news at that. The

similarity with the news is that it's all scaring us half the

time. It might be a different message behind it. But it's like

to kind of scare us a little bit. And it's like all the

negative Yeah, all the negative, there's not really much positive

on the news. And then what makes it worse is now I check out like

Tic, I'll go tick tock was usually a source for me to get

like the laughs and stuff and positive messages. And now all

you see is COVID or Ukraine news. And so it's like the news

is everywhere, like on every platform, every social media

platform, it's on TV, they say stuff on the radio, it just

seems like we can't escape it. So I guess one of my biggest

pieces of advice is that well, the good news is that we have a

beautiful nature. Like how do I word it? Nature is beautiful in

a sense in that we all have some sort of outdoors area. And I

would say that when it comes to the news

because we want to be informed I would say just put a limit, like

you don't need to watch four or five different news stations.

All in the same thing. Like I would say check out the news.

One time a day. At least that's what I do.

Oh, now because I was doing the morning, the afternoon and the

evening. And it's like, know,

and trust. And honestly, there's always going to, I think there's

always going to be someone out there that's doing that anyway,

that's going to share it all anyway, online. So it's like,

you'll get it, you'll kind of like hear about it anyway, I

don't think I used to get nervous about like, Oh, I'm not

going to know what's going on in the world. But it's everywhere,

like you can't like, if you really want to find a piece of

news, it's going to be somewhere like, you're going to catch it.

So I there's no FOMO in that. I feel like missing out there.

Because we're gonna always know, at the same time, we have the

power to tune in or not. When it comes to frequency, and just

when in general. So yeah, I told myself that I had to pick either

morning or evening, which evening is supposed to relax me.

So I'm like, I'm gonna choose morning to just like, do a

couple minutes. My roommate watches the news all the time.

So if anything, sometimes I walk out and he just tells me

something that's going on. I'm like, oh, cool, I don't have to

watch the news. Now.

It was just a quick little conversation I can forget about.

But yet stay informed with it. Some kind of luck out there. But

yeah, I would say limit that. It going outside, I used to take

for granted a lot. And when were kids, I would forget how much

time we actually like how much freedom we had for that we just

didn't have as many responsibilities. You know, and

for some of us, too, there wasn't as much technology. But

the main thing is we didn't have as much responsibilities, which

gave us more time for free time, which included going outside and

we're just you know, a lot of us are so used to like being stuck

in a building with work or having or being on a computer

all day with work. And I, I'm fortunate enough for my work, I

can kind of take with me on a computer. So I will go outside

or I'll go to a different Park, I'll go to a different place if

I really want to get it that way. And then sometimes I leave

the computer in the office, I'm like Screw your computer, I'm

going out, I'm going through, I'm gonna take a journey through

the woods, and just breathe for a second. And that's why I love

trees, by the way. And I live on the east coast in the United

States. So trees are lovely. Over here, and I just go through

the woods. And I just breathe it in. And, and even try you know,

and if you're doing that really try not to be on your phone or

an electronic as well. And really just like, and that

includes music too. And just like really listen to the world.

And listen to the stillness and the quiet. And I think that, for

me, it's a good reset, so that when I'm feeling a bunch of

anxiety, it's almost like a reset button. Or I'm like, okay,

like the world feels loud. It feels crazy. Right now, this is

just a quick reset. Because you know, at the end of the day, I

think good things and bad things are always going to happen in

the world. So that's why we can't

we just can't put ourselves through hell of always being

focused on every little negative thing. Because all those

thoughts aren't going to change what's actually happening

Ukraine and Russia, it's still happening, whether we're overly

analyzing it or not. So, so I would say that, obviously we

have to accept the reality of what's going on in the world.

But we also have to give ourselves permission to breathe,

as well and, and just accept that. We we have more control

than we think we do when it comes to our inner peace.

Wow.

Everybody let this sink in. We have more control over our inner

peace, then we think

Frank illusio

this is your

it's yours and I'll be using it.

Why Frank, hugely resonates with my heart.

And I love how you emphasize that we are part of nature we

need to allow ourselves to get back to nature, to be present

with nature. And what I want to add to that if you don't have

trees or parks, where you live, random acts of kindness, with

strangers eye contact, holding a door helping an elderly person

over the street. Those those little deep connections that we

can create with people we know or don't know, also deeply

nurture our heart

Because in that moment, we are fully present with something

outside of ourselves. And that usually helps us to bring all

the anxiety and negativity down.

I love everything you said there. And I love most that it

is so easy to apply. It is not you don't need money for it. You

don't need to, you know, be overly spiritual. If you're not

there yet, you can just do baby steps and you will see the

results. You will reap the fruit from from little changes,

like you offered here with us today. Endlessly precious,

endlessly precious.

To add in, yes, yes. Sorry, just to add in quick because I made

me remember with COVID, not that there's really positives that

come out of COVID. But a positive for me that came out of

the negative experience was realizing how, just how

antisocial we've become as a society. Like I just really

didn't click with me before that and like that really set it in.

And I think just with having to wear a mask, for example, like

that alone. I'm like, wow, that actually made communication a

little bit more difficult, because we're covering that

because we have to, but I was like, but even before the masks,

we weren't communicating anyway, half the time like it didn't

even matter if we were wearing a mask or not. We weren't, we

weren't doing those random acts of kindness a lot, or we weren't

really appreciating human beings maybe as much as we really

could. I just I don't know, I think. And I think that goes

back to the whole, like inner chaos that happens with us,

sometimes where it's like, we're so lost in our own stuff, that

we don't even have the power or freedom to help others or even

think about others in a compassionate way. But I am

seeing more and more of that with either work that you do or

work that you see other people do. And it's like, yeah, there's

hope in this world.

Yeah, it is so beautiful that COVID brought a lot of goodness,

a lot of

a lot of reflection and realization that was so

necessary. And that would have been, like not possible without

without that traumatic experience.

I'd love to give you the opportunity now to first share a

couple books with us that deeply changed the way you feel or

think for the better. And then how can people reach you and

start following you find you?

Questions. So with the books I've been,

I haven't been doing. So a lot of my reading lately has been

more fiction, for the most part. So that might not be like the

most helpful when it comes to if people are looking for self

help. But one book that I can recommend that I'm almost done

with that I really like and this ties into what we were talking

about earlier is atomic habits.

That book

What's his name? I don't have the book in front of me, Jean. I

want to say James clear, so bad, but I can't remember if that's

actually I feel like his first name is James. But atomic

habits, if you look that up, it will pop right up. Yeah. And

that.

That that's helped a little bit too. That makes me want to

revisit my habits I already have and like even make them

stronger. That's a really, I highly recommend that book.

Wherever you buy it, whether it's a bookstore, Amazon or

whoever you want to support it. Yeah, I definitely recommend

that. And then to find me, I'm always changing these I feel my

username always changes. I feel half the time. But I want to say

so my, I have like three Instagrams. And so my personal

one is let me be frank Anthony. I have a Bookstagram which is

Frank's fiction. And then the podcast one, which that name

changed. It used to be let me be frank pod but now it's the love

diaries pod because that's hopefully a new podcast that I'm

going to be starting in the future with one of my friends is

a co host which will pretty much just discuss like it'll be like

relief. It'll be reading different relationship stories

and kind of giving advice and intake on that. I've I have a

really big passion for relationships and like kind of

helping couples and all that I've always had a big passion

with that. But so those are the Instagrams and then tick tock is

let me be frank Anthony. And I can't remember Twitter.

We are at the moment. I think it's also let me be frank

Anthony. And then Facebook, I want to say is Frank's fiction.

But if the best way to do this is my website is www dot let me

be frank anthony.com. And all the socials should be connected

in there somehow. Very good. That easy then for us to to find

you. Well, thank you so much for this genuine, heartwarming

conversation. I enjoyed every minute. And yeah, we stay

connected. And we'll keep in contact, especially during those

difficult times. Thank you so much for being here and for

being the light out there and the hope and the inspiration for

so many people.

Thank you so much Aurora. I could I could talk with you for

hours.

We should do that again soon. All right. Yeah. Dear listeners.

I hope you enjoyed this episode. I hope we were able to bring you

a lot of value and inspiration, hope and motivation. You are

loved. And until next time, bye bye. Take care.