[Christy]

Is one thing to read the scripture. It's another thing to be the scripture. It's one thing to read books and motivational quotes. It's another thing to be the books and the motivational quotes. And so one of the things that I'm teaching my inner circle members at this moment is how to become a book, right? Like, become the information that you read. I'm not necessarily impressed. And there's this Chinese master where they tell the story of how… the Chinese master said, I'm not afraid of the 10,000 punches that you practice one time. I'm more afraid of the one punch that you practice 10,000 times. So I want y'all to think about that as you think about and consider how you've been chasing change, how you've been wanting to change, how you've been in pursuit of change, but you can't figure out why you haven't changed is because you haven't done the one thing long enough to be able to see the result.

[VO]

Welcome to Why She's Winning with your host, Christy Rutherford, a master of office politics and self-care advocacy. Christy's clients have received over 10 million in salary raises in a pandemic. Surprised that women are still getting paid during these challenging times? It's possible for you too. You can have it all if you believe you deserve it. Christy and her guests will assist you with that. Let's get started.

[Christy]

Hello, everyone. Happy Friday. Welcome to Why She's Winning. I am your host, the amazing phenomenal, the finest, because I have seen myself in the mirror this morning. Christy Rutherford coming here today to interview Carly Cloer. Let me tell y'all about Carly right quick. Carly is a sales, marketing, and leadership expert. Let's be clear. Carly has progressed through her career through marketing, sales, and customer success roles with extensive experience, achieving goals through innovative product, brand marketing campaigns, and external partnerships. She thrives in collecting data and market analysis, translating the findings into actionable insights, testing the efficiency, and collaborating with her team to execute the plan. She was formerly the director of marketing and customer success at X2AI. Is that A [explanation for it]? Cause my glass is a fuzzy. Okay, great. She was also served as the senior market growth manager at Quartet Health. She was an executive marketing, sales consulting, and coach in her own business. She has undergraduate degree in biology with a minor in chemistry. Carly has awards that included the Rookie of the Year, and she consistently ranked nationally in the top 1% of her organization. She also runs her own consulting and coaching business and has helped clients get promotions and salary increases like we do. She lives in Washington state with her husband of 22 years and college sweetheart and their two sons. Welcome, Carly.

[Carly]

Thank you. Thank you, Christy.

[Christy]

All right, look, so I've been waiting to interview you since you started the program, right? Like, I always get excited, you know, when I talk to women who want to be different because I always say, I can't wait to see you on the other side of you when you go through this program. So I am excited and ecstatic. It only took a long time to get you here, but it's all right. You kept showing up. So we're going to talk about that journey, right? And the passion and pursuit of success. And when I was thinking about what to name this and what to call it, I wanted to talk about a toxic workplace. And I'm like, nah, I ain't going to put Carly on [front seat], you know, in print. Now, I'm going to do it in an interview for sure.

[Carly]

Yes.

[Christy]

But I don't want to do it in print like that. But there is something that we're going to talk about with regards to being in a toxic workplace and how we create these conditions for ourselves. But I really wanted to talk about your passion and pursuit of change because you've been on this journey of wanting and searching and doing a lot of things. And then you finally found the greatest organization of all time, Vision Finder International. So what else we want to talk about today? All right. I just gave you the summary. So let's back up. So, all right. Hey, y'all. So while we're waiting for Carly to log back in, I want to just give y'all a little bit of background about, you know, some of the things that we're going to talk about. And so Carly has been chasing success and chasing change for eight years. And she's done a lot of things. She's checked a lot of boxes. She's gone through a lot of programs, but she never became the information.

[Christy]

And so what I want to talk to y'all and what we want to glean from her today is not just checking the boxes. Become the information that you read. Is one thing to read the scripture. It's another thing to be the scripture. Is one thing to read books and motivational quotes. It's another thing to be the books and the motivational quotes. And so one of the things that I'm teaching my inner circle members at this moment is how to become a book, right? Like, become the information that you read. I'm not necessarily impressed. And there's this Chinese master where they tell the story of how… the Chinese master said, I'm not afraid of the 10,000 punches that you practice one time. I'm more afraid of the one punch that you practice 10,000 times. So I want y'all to think about that as you think about and consider how you've been chasing change, how you've been wanting to change, how you've been in pursuit of change, but you can't figure out why you haven't changed is because you haven't done the one thing long enough to be able to see the result. And if you're doing 20 different things all the time and you're not doing the one thing long enough and consistently enough to be able to drill a hole into, you know, the rock, which is your limited thinking and your understanding and the media and the things that people have told you that you couldn't do. So you want to be able to consistently do one thing until you see the result, and then you can spread out.

[Christy]

And the last thing I'll say before I try to call Carly, figure out what just happened is if y'all think about Superman, when Superman, Clark Kent Superman is what I'm talking about. When Superman shot the laser beams out of his eyes to be able to blow stuff up, even if two laser beams came out, it went to one and then boom, and then it exploded. So as you're looking to grow and change, will you choose one thing to master? Will you understand that one? You need to master yourself but just do one thing. Don't read ten books; read one book ten times.

[Christy]

So Eagle Crew is on the line. So I just want to give them a shout-out. Leandra is here.

[Carly]

Leandra.

[Christy]

I think this right here. Why I can't remember her name right now? I remember it in a few seconds, and she's going to be mad that I can't remember her name. Jennifer is here. Everybody's here. So Esther is here. Sansa is here. How are y'all? So, all right, so let's get this party poppin'. So what was going on with you? Amanda is the one who got some privacy settings on her, and she never shows up as her name. Anyway, so what was going on with you when you decided to reach out and give us a shout? What was going on with you? What was going on in your life when you just said, I want to change and do something different.

[Carly]

I was in a really negative, and I'm going to say toxic, even though that word is overused, but it really was, yeah, a toxic situation. I said, oh, my God, I feel like I'm at my lowest low. I want a new job. I need a new job. I want to be back to my confident self. And I just feel so insecure, and just, oh my gosh, I had no confidence whatsoever. And I was scrolling LinkedIn, and I think someone tagged you and was thanking you for your amazingness. And I was like, I am going to find someone. I'm booking a call with her. And yeah, I remember showing up, and I was already crying. I was already crying. And you know, I've told you, I spent so much money and so many years working with coaches, which I completely believe in coaching and what coaching can do for people. I was just at a really low, low, like the lowest confidence I've ever had, and was reaching out to you so you could help me find a new job. Lo and behold, it was a little bit different, and thank God for that.

[Christy]

So typically, I say something that's offensive to most women, and it's just an awakening. Kathy said, you say, oh, I can't remember what she said. It was so good. She says you hit people in the head, and you'd be like, oh, that was kind of true. Right? So what was it? Did I say something? You know, I wouldn't say necessarily offensive, but did I share with you what your current reality was? Did I say something offensive? Was I nice on the phone whenever I talk to you? You know, I'd be forgetting, but go ahead.

[Carly]

Oh, no. Yes. You were not offensive, but here, yeah. Like we got to… I just was rambling on, and we got to like 15 minutes in, and you said, what's your deal? What's your deal? And I said I have a belief that I'm stupid and that I'm not smart. And you said, there it is. There it is. That we're going to work on that. And then I just let the waterworks go. So I don't really remember a lot about that conversation. I just remember you were like, what's your deal? Like, what's going on with you? What's your story? So that's what I remember.

[Christy]

Okay. So once we got started, cause you just recognize you're all over the place. I do remember that.

[Carly]

Yep.

[Christy]

And I was like, what's wrong with you? Let's just…

[Carly]

Yes, that's what you said too. What is wrong with you? That's what she said.

[Christy]

Look at my face. What's wrong with you? Because here's the thing. A lot of women hide their brokenness. And I was thinking this morning I was going to put up a quote like we have so many women who are so invested in fixing up their outer appearance to hide their brokenness, but your brokenness is on full display. And I'm watching these women go over to Greece, and they have these long flowing dresses, and everybody want to take these Santorini. They want to take this flowing dress thing in Greece, but you're still crazy. So what I appreciate about you is that you knew you were searching for something. You just had not found the right thing. So what was most surprising to you when you started to do a different type of work with this?

[Carly]

The first thing was that I knew that there was more I needed to uncover about myself, but again, I was focused on I just want to get a new job. Like that's what I was focused on. My job is terrible. The people are terrible, you know, blah, blah, blah. And first, I realized that there was a lot more that I really needed to work on. And the coaches that I had worked with previously, I believe, all got me to this point with you. And then you helped me dig way deeper. I don't know if you want me to, you know, go a little bit ahead, but like one of my biggest realizations with that was, and I remember telling you, I attracted my toxic environment. And you were like, you think? Like, you already knew, but thank God for you because you let me figure it out on my own. I mean, it was like a lightning. Oh my God. And it just hit me. I attracted, what I think, what I secretly believe that I am. I am not smart. I don't know what I'm doing. I asked too many questions. I'm not meant for this role. That's exactly how I felt about myself, but it was showing up in the people that I was working with. Huge light bulb.

[Christy]

Oh, that's good. Hey, Christy Rutherford here. Do you want to learn how to ask for and get a 30% raise without getting another degree? Look, black women are the most educated and the least paid. That should tell you that that math is not math-ing. The degree is not the path to the next level. It's actually learning how to articulate the value and take credit for the work that you've already done. So I want to invite you to get my free case study at changenowwithchristy.com. Just get the information, use it, and take the money out of the hands of your employers and put it into your household because you already deserve it. You just have to know how to ask for it. Again, changenowwithchristy.com. I can't wait for you to get this insight, use it and get the money that you deserve. Take care.

[Christy]

Let's back it up a little bit because you majored in biology and chemistry. I don't understand. Like, how can you not believe that you're not smart? And here's the thing. Everybody is going through something, Carly. Like a lot of times people, you know, sisters be like, we don't want people going through something. White women were like this? Oh no, they just as crazy as we are.

[Carly]

Right.

[Christy]

White women are just as crazy and need to work on their stuff. And so it's like, you know, we have different nationalities that's in our program. Everybody's going through something. We have to stop believing the hype that we're the only people that are going through something. And you look at other people, and you'd be like, oh, she's not going through anything. She's a white woman. She's blonde. She's perfect. You'd be like this. Ah, no, she got some stuff going on too. So what was it, you know, if you want to share, you can say, no, I want to do that. We'll move on. Like, where did that thought of you're not smart, where was that rooted in? Like, where did that come from? I'm not smart, and I'm not good enough?

[Carly]

From the fourth grade. I remember I was talking to Kathy about it, and I said, I know where it came from. It was in the fourth grade when I started, like my ADHD started showing up, or my ADD started showing up, and I started forgetting a lot. Like I forgot to write down my homework. I forgot. Yeah, I had major anxiety. I did take tests on my own, you know, in a special room, and like, I don't know, all this shit started coming up, and kids started to laugh at me, and nobody said you're stupid or you're dumb. I came up with that all on my own. Like I take full credit. I don't know. And it was just because I kept forgetting things. I kept forgetting my homework, and my grades tanked. And like I was getting D's, and that's, you know, I'm a solid B. No, like, I was a way better student than that. So that's just when things started showing up, and that's just when I started identifying with myself as stupid. And, yeah.

[Christy]

So, in essence, and this is the thing that I tell women all the time, and I said this one time, and this lady in DEI gave me the straight business, but I was like, so microaggressions are just somebody trigger your unhealed trauma, right? And she would, oh, this DEI lady like laid out the whole sermon on me. She came at me, but this is the thing you, you created the toxic work environment based on your belief. Like if you think you're stupid, they think you're stupid.

[Carly]

Yep.

[Christy]

Turn your Bibles, everybody, tonight. Numbers 13:33 where it says, "We were like grasshoppers in our own sight. And so we were to them." Right. So when you think about how people quote the scripture, they always talk about how, when they were trying to go into the promised land, and they sent the scouts out, and the scouts came back, and they were like, they're giants in the land. That's all they say. No, that's not how it… that's not what it says. It says, "We were like grasshoppers in our own sight. And so we were to them." It wasn't. They saw us as grasshoppers. It was we saw ourselves as grasshoppers, and they were the giants. So you saw yourself as being dumb, and from your thoughts, right? Which you're not, but whatever. Like, and then, so they saw you as being dumb, and they treated you like you saw yourself.

[Carly]

Yep. 1000%.

[Christy]

But it took 12 weeks.

[Carly]

Eight years and 12 weeks.

[Christy]

Eight years and 12 weeks for you to figure out that you were the problem. So what was that revelation like?

[Carly]

No one. And I'm not blaming anyone else because this is my journey. This is exactly how it was meant to unfold and still unfold. Like, I have never had someone call me out and be like, the problem is you. Even though you didn't say it and Kathy didn't say it, it was said all around me. And I thought, oh, that sucks for them. Like it's all about them. And I thought, oh, snack. Yeah. I don't know if we can cuss on here, but I'm a cusser. So, oh, shit, that is me. And all of a sudden, it was like, oh, like the clouds parted. And I had my huge aha moment. And yeah, I don't… It took a long time. And again, I'm not blaming any other coach for not calling me out and saying, it's you, but I just needed some deeper, you know, insights of just my own soul searching, just a lot deeper. And that's exactly why I attracted you and figured that out. And now I've got so much goodness going on.

[Christy]

So it's interesting because you were in… you were a [wreak hell] first for eight weeks, right? So we have an eight-week program, and then we go two months. Carly had gone blasted through the eight weeks. She got in the Eagle Crew, and all the Eagle Crew was getting set free, and Carly sitting there looking like, well, what about me? Then she comes over to the monthly. And I was like… and then you came to the event, and I said, you know what, if you're willing because this is the thing that you were searching for so long and you had just become accustomed to and unconsciously just running through the information. You weren't becoming the information. You know, you weren't absorbing the information. You can teach other people, which is great, but you're teaching what you had not become. So you were an astute student. So it's like the A students will memorize, but you won't absorb the information. And so I said, Carly, if you're willing, start over. And you were like, what?

[Carly]

Yeah, I know.

[Christy]

But you said okay.

[Carly]

Yep.

[Christy]

Because our goal is not necessarily to just get your money and run you through a factory, you know, we come here for change. So, you know, we put you with somebody different, and Raquel was awesome. You just was doing what you do. And then it came one of those.

[Carly]

Yep.

[Christy]

And it is what it is. And now, will you do it again? So once you started to do it again, that's when you got that revelation, is when you started to actually apply the information. So for the women who, you know, what insight do you have with regards to shifting from doing to being?

[Carly]

Yeah, that's. I was thinking about that earlier. It's one of those things where it's really hard to describe. Like if somebody asks you, how do you know you're in love? Or how do you know that you love someone? That's really hard to describe. So I know that, you know, a lot of other gals have had, you know, these huge breakthrough moments, and they know exactly. And mine was kind of gradual. So when I truly, like after I came back from Atlanta, and I was looking over my notes, and I thought, the biggest takeaway was I have to let go. And I realized I was a box checker. And in order for, like, I joined, and I was like, just tell me what to do. It was the what, what, what, what do I do? Yes. What do I do? Okay. Did that? Okay. Where's my shit? Like, where's my, you know, million trillion dollars and this fantastic, you know, opportunity? But once I truly started to let go and let God do his work, that was key. And it was a little bit gradual. I would say it took. I don't know, maybe a week or so of just truly letting go. I have a reminder that goes off every morning. It says, are you letting go and letting God do his work? So I have that reminder every morning to make sure I'm being instead of doing, doing, doing, doing, or just checking, checking and, yeah, doing homework and watching videos. I've got to be. I've got to be.

[Christy]

Okay. Oh, my goodness. Okay. [That's on the line]. Dana showed up for her Eagle Crew. So let's talk about let go and let God because, again, it is a term that is overused, but it's not a term that is understood and absorbed and become. So what does that mean? Like when I tell women to surrender, they'd be like, what are you talking about? You're like; you're already great. You're already amazing. You just don't know it yet because your thoughts and the conversation that you're having with yourself and the environment that you've created around yourself to be able to continue the conversation, and the limited beliefs that you have of yourself and the things that you watch to be able to fortify the negative conversation that you have of yourself, all that thing, all of that stuff is stopping you from simply revealing who's there waiting all alone. Like you're going to be in me, and I like this, so she will come dig me out or what, like, are you going to allow, and melt the ice and break the patterns and the thoughts to reveal who's sitting in there waiting for you to come? So what are two things that women can do when you talk about let go and let God? Like, what does that really mean? And what did you do, or did you do anything, or did you stop doing stuff to be able to let go and let God?

[Christy]

Hey, Christy Rutherford here. I want to tell you about my resume course, how to use the superpower method to write an irresistible resume to land you a high-paying job. If you can't figure out why you can't get to the next level, if you think that they are a bearish to your success, that's not it. If you haven't learned how to adequately take credit for the work that you've done, if you don't know how to articulate it and even give it to a resume writer that you've paid $3,000, $4,000, $5,000 to, if you haven't given them the right information, then how can they output something that is of quality and value? So go ahead, get this course is less than $50, get the information, use it, and write an irresistible resume that will get you the salary that you deserve today. So click on the link, on around this video or go to the superpowermethod.com, get it, use it, get paid what you deserve today.

[Carly]

Well, first, I took ownership of the fact that I attracted exactly the people to reflect how I was feeling about myself. So once I took ownership of that and realized it was me, I'm the problem, that all of a sudden kind of like I sat taller and I just… I feel like I allowed myself to become or not become, but just get back to my confidence that I know I've had before because I stopped blaming other people, totally stopped blaming other people. That and daily meditating. Actually, Raquel gave me homework to meditate twice a day. So I did that for several weeks, and now I meditate every morning. So I did that and forgiveness, like really understanding that forgiving is not saying what happened was okay and telling them, oh, I love you. And oh, my gosh, everything's cool. No, it's accepting, just like Oprah said, "Accepting that I'm a butchered," what happened. Oh, now, okay, accepting that what happened happened, and you can't change anything. You cannot change what has already happened. And then I realized, oh, I do have some more people I need to forgive. Which means letting go. So that was my first practice of letting shit go.

[Christy]

So you, the thing about, you know, it doesn't have to be perfect on the Oprah quote only because I read it a thousand times. But what she said was, “True forgiveness is knowing that the past couldn't have been any different.”

[Carly]

Yeah.

[Christy]

Right. But you still understand it. And it came out in your own thinking and your understanding. It doesn't have to be the direct quote. That's my super nerdiness, but yours is going to be as long as you understand it. And then you became it. So to realize, and this is the thing that we're going to come to one day to say this, so good.

[Carly]

Okay.

[Christy]

To realize that you're the problem, and you stop blaming other people. Like I tell people all the time if you get on my phone and say, no, I don't want to be different. I just want my boss to see me differently. You're the problem. Like I got women when I say, you know, you can actually double your salary and make more money. They get angry because they've been told that they can't and they're just here to get an extra $10,000. I can't help you. That's not what we do. And then when I tell women that they're the problem, they're creating their toxic work environment. I could feel the phone, like, melt on my hand and like when they get pissed off. So. But the thing about it, Carly, is once you understand that you're the problem, you take your control back because we think that we're a victim of circumstances. And when you shift and say, no, it's me, then you create your circumstances. Like, I now be conscious creator of my circumstances. What was that? What was that like for you? What was that journey like for you?

[Carly]

Like, of just realizing that that's what I was creating. What do you mean? Like, so realizing that I was the…

[Christy]

So when you shift it from blaming other people, and you took responsibility, and you let go and let God, then what happened? Like how did your life change after that? How did you start showing up after that? Cause now, now through meditation and now through working out, which we had to drag you to do that, but now through, you know, making yourself feel good and desiring to want to be happy. A whole new set of… a whole new reality started to happen for you because now you're consciously doing things to feel good.

[Carly]

Yes. And it was steps. Cause, you know, it wasn't this all of a sudden, you know, one thing made everything clear. It was a stepping stone. So that was, you know, once I let go, once I realized that it was me, then the next step was me like, you know, when you hear, or the saying is, "You have to hear something seven times in order for it to really solidify," I must've heard you say probably 17 times that you have to do what brings you joy. Like, what brings you joy? What makes you happy? And I kept fighting that and fighting that. And then as soon as… and I can't remember what week it was. Oh, it was after Atlanta. It was second time around going through the program. And again, it was just repetitive. And I thought, oh my God, I have to do what makes me happy. No shit. Sherlock. So once I finally accepted that, no, I am not going to do things that do not bring me joy. And I'm only going to do things in the present moment that bring me happiness. I don't know if I answered your question, but that was like it was a stepping stone. And that was, I would say, yeah, the last real step too before I was really, yeah, able to attract goodness.

[Christy]

So really, it was, oh, I should just be happy.

[Carly]

So it sounds so easy, but when you're digging real deep, and you've got to get the cobwebs out of the way first. And then, all of a sudden, you can see these blind spots that you couldn't see before. Like, oh my God, all I have to do is do what makes me happy. Shit. Where was that, like ten weeks ago? But no, it's a journey. Everything was supposed to unfold exactly how it did.

[Christy]

Oh, that's so funny. So Kathy say, do not think new things that bring you pain. I was trying to click that off of me myself. So here's the thing. We become accustomed to being in misery to make other people happy around us. And we surrender our happiness to make other people happy with us. And we're miserable to make them happy. And then you shift to a point of; you know what? I'm going to be happy. I don't really give an S-H-I-T who cares about me being happy. I'm going to be happy. My happiness is my sole priority and my sole responsibility. But there is a light bulb moment of you actually understanding that you could be happy, which is hysterical to me because we get so… but this is the thing, Carly, nobody ever asks grown women, you know.

[Carly]

No.

[Christy]

I think women too, are you happy? You'll be like, well, yeah. No, you're not. Right. And then you'll be like, well, you know, you can actually be this unicorn riding happiness. And you started to see it in all the women around you. So like, you got the Eagle Crew that's happy, and you're still sitting there like, I kind of want this, but is it possible for me? And that was the block, is like, if I've been having this negative conversation for so long, if I've been unhappy for so long if I've been freaked out for so long, can I be happy? So once you started to accept the fact that you can be happy, how did that show up differently in your household with your husband and your kids?

[Carly]

Ooh, I was just going to talk about that too. I was just going to mention something about how it showed up at home. I would say another realization I had because; I have two boys, we have two boys, they're 15 and 19. And, you know, once they started needing me less, I was like, who am I? If they don't need me, and if I'm not mom, who am I? So that was another kind of background uncovering that was also going on where at the same time, I was thinking, oh my gosh, I need to be happy. Okay, what makes me happy? And then catering to them and being needed and being wanted. That was part of my definition. And I had to let that go too. So in order, for me to be happy, I, again, had to be present with this. I cannot go back in time. Yes, I want them to be babies again, but no, this is who they are now. Be present. And stop enabling them so that they need you. Stop creating this codependent relationship.

[Carly]

So doing things for my kids just so they need me stopped. It was hard. I do have to say it's hard. It's like doing their laundry, you know, cooking their food, you know, blah, blah, blah. Like my husband was like, really, you're not going to cater to them anymore? Because he's wanted me to for years. He's like, let them do that. Let them unload the dishwasher. Let them have to eat up, blah, blah, blah. And my kids were surprised. Like when I, all of a sudden, would say, no, listen, you're going to come in here, you're going to make your lunch, you're going to, you know, make your own breakfast, you're going to set your alarm. It's not going to be mom alarm anymore. They just like, what, you know, and they didn't put up a fight or anything, but they were like, who are you? So that was something everybody noticed. And I felt like a badass because I was like, I love you. I love where you're at right now. And your stage that you're in, I'm going to be present, and I need to let you be an adult. I need to let you grow into your own. Yeah. And start doing things for yourself.

[Christy]

Hey, Christy Rutherford here. I hope that you're enjoying the podcast so far, but what I know that you'll love even more is joining us in our private community. Join us in this private community, like Money Loves Happy People, and get live and on-demand insights. So you can use this information to live the life that you truly and deserve. Get a raise and a promotion. No problem. Step into your purpose. No problem. Get the relationship that you deserve. No problem. Look, it's never too late to live the life that you deserve. It's never too late to live a life of total fulfillment. You just need information and inspiration to get on the path and live in your greater life. So go ahead again, click on the link, on around this video, join us in our private community, and change your life for the best. Take care. See you soon.

[Christy]

Oh, that's good. So you were basically enabling your sons to not be able to take care of themselves when they're adults because they'll be in your house forever. So you want to raise great kids to go and be sustainable on their own, but you're not really doing that if you're doing their laundry if you're doing everything. And that's, you know, I think a challenge that a lot of, you know, these millennials, people be, talking about millennials. You'd be like, y'all raise them.

[Carly]

Yeah.

[Christy]

Millennials are lazy. Gen Z's don't want to do anything. Y'all raise them. This is y'all. Gen X, right? Gen X, who are the caregivers for parents and the kids that will move out the house. And so we're breaking because of these habits that we're creating. So when you realize that you were the problem at work with your toxic job cause you created it, then when you're creating your misery at home because you're doing everything for everybody. And now that all of that is ceased, now what? Now, how do you feel now? Like, now what? What happened? What happened?

[Carly]

Well, first, I mean, oh, it's been a journey. I actually just accepted a position yesterday at a global e-commerce company and making a lot more money. We can talk about that offline. And I actually started going. This is a little bit off-tangent, but I started to see a naturopath because I've had stomach issues for years and years and years. And so, found out I needed to wean these things out of my diet. And I've been on diets, you know, I'm sure a lot of women can relate, so many different diets, blah, blah, blah. This is the first time in my life that I am inspired to make different food choices every day. And I'm not forcing myself. So it's not this fight like, oh my gosh, I'm a terrible person because I'm craving, and I really want this, and oh my gosh, I cheated today and blah, blah, blah. I want to eat better every single day. And I've never been in this, like, what do they call it? Like positive reinforcement. I've never been inspired and encouraged, like coming from that energy to make changes. I've always come from this negative, oh my God, I have to eat better. Oh, my God, I have [to lower].

[Carly]

No, that does not work. I've lost 14 pounds. And I mean, there's so many other benefits like, oh, my brain fog is, like, minuscule. I mean, I've had brain fog forever. My mood is better. I mean, I've lost 14 pounds. Like, that's big. That's big for me. And it's because I want to do it. Yeah, it's just, oh my gosh. There's so many different things going on. I'm attracting so many good things, like little opportunities here and there and like, you know, house flipping and things that I get to do with my husband that I didn't even look at before because I was so concerned about being a good mom and feeling mom guilt because you know, I didn't make the best of, you know, when I raised my kids when they were younger and blah, you know, constantly living in the past. And now it's just I have this new slate. I don't know, I know I'm rambling, but I just… there's so many good things happening. Like, when I started showing up on the calls, and everybody was like, what happened to you? I'm like, oh my God, everybody notices. How awesome. Everybody noticed. And then I thought, oh, yeah, I'm happy. And I am not even trying to be happy. Like, I remember sending you a message going. I am so damn happy. And yeah, I don't know. It's just, fuck. It's amazing. I love it. Love my life.

[Christy]

This is so good. It's so good. Because I almost want to cry, right? Like, I'm just, and I don't get emotional for people ever. This is like when [Joaquina] started crying when she started talking about Kathy be like, that's how long.

[Carly]

And this, do you notice the sun is shining now?

[Christy]

Yeah, so I came out. So good. Because you're rambling in joy.

[Carly]

Yes.

[Christy]

You'd be like, but this is the thing. Think about, let's say, I don't even know when you started this [that's so long]. But it's like in last November.

[Carly]

January 31st.

[Christy]

Okay. Early January, you were rambling in misery. And you had a clear-cut story of who's the problem. He's the problem. She's the problem. They're the problem. My teacher was the problem. This person was a problem. My kids are the problem. My husband is the problem. And so you had, like, there was a script of who was the problem. And you could see it clearly, like a book that you read every day. And now that you have joy is like this feeling. And I tell people joy is a feeling. God's grace is a feeling that you can't explain. So you're just rambling in marveling, in grace because you can't even explain it is like, how do I put human words to the way that I feel? It is the piece that surpasses understanding. So that's pretty much what you're rambling in. You're like; I don't know. I can't pinpoint it. It's just so good. Can y'all feel it, though? Can y'all feel it? And I think that everybody can feel your joy. And when you actually showed up happy, people can see it because you were in bondage in your own thinking. And then, when you just let go and stop being everything to everybody, you became everything to yourself.

[Carly]

That just gave so much room. Like all the people in the situations that I was blaming, as soon as I let each of those aspects go, there's so much room.

[Christy]

Yeah.

[Carly]

Yeah. So much room to be me.

[Christy]

All right. So, you know, I'm gonna look at my [boxes\ to see whether or not I got this message on this job. I know, but maybe you were saving it to surprise us on the line. You'd be like; I can't let that go. Cause we're going to need them numbers. But so, how did you show up differently? Because.

[Carly]

Oh gosh, what?

[Christy]

Can I say it, what you… you're talking about I found my dream job, and then I cuss you out.

[Carly]

Yeah. Yes. Go ahead.

[Christy]

Carly talk about this is in the beginning, y'all. Carly talk about, oh my God, I found my dream job. It pays me one… it pays me a third of the pay that I'm making right now. I said that, no sound, like, you know, [D-R-E-A-M] job, dream job. That sounds like a nightmare. What are you talking about?

[Carly]

I thought when you said that sounds like a nightmare, I was like, okay. And then I kept hearing that. I heard you, and that sounds like a nightmare. Like whenever I talk to them, I talked to them two more times, and I was like, okay. Yeah. I trust what she says. Cause I got some cloudiness going on. So I don't see things the way that they should be seeing. So, okay. Yeah. I gotta let this go. And you know what?

[Christy]

Cause you’re an [expert].

[Carly]

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. And you know what just happened to this company that I was saying, this is my dream job? They just let go 25% of their people.

[Christy]

But here's the thing.

[Carly]

Yeah, I know [it suck].

[Christy]

Desperate people do dumb stuff.

[Carly]

Yeah.

[Christy]

Like [when you're] desperate, you're like, I'm in this toxic job, and I hate my job, and they're harassing me, and I want to quit and go make 30% like it's a 60% decrease.

Carly]

Yeah.

[Christy]

That makes sense. In my pay. And this is my dream.

[Carly]

Yeah.

[Christy]

Desperate people are incapable of rational thought.

[Carly]

Yep.

[Christy]

And I always tell people, don't you quit your job because your job ain't the problem. You're the problem. And it takes time to be able to realize that. So 70% of our clients don't leave their jobs because once you realize, I created this toxicity in this job, with my thinking in the way that I see myself, oh, I don't, they're not that bad here.

[Carly]

Yep.

[Christy]

And when you use that knowledge and that new awareness and that new [unclear] to now go seek other opportunities if you choose. So how did you show up differently in this interview than you would have? I would say, then you did in that job. That was your dream job. What was the difference?

[Carly]

Well, I knew first that how I presented myself was how, like, they were going to take, like, see me for how I see myself, I guess, is what I'm saying. So the affirmations that I say in the mirror every morning, I mean, I'm sticking with that because when I start my day off that way, and you know, and with meditation, I show up more confident. So I knew that continuing to show up as my confident self, like I know I am, that is exactly how they would see me. And that I would start attracting people that saw me as a badass, the badass that I am. So just consistently. Yeah, showing up that way. And telling myself, yes, I am confident. I'm an excellent, you know, salesperson and, you know, business development, you know, everything. I've so much to offer. I have to see myself that way. Then they'll see it. Yeah.

[Christy]

That's so good. All right, last question.

[Carly]

Okay.

[Christy]

I got two more, actually.

[Carly]

Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm ready.

[Christy]

So an affirmation is basically you telling you who you are. That's what we're not doing. We're letting other people, now I'm yelling, y'all turn your mic down. Turn the volume down. We let other people tell us who we are. We let the media tell us what we should expect. We let people condemn us with data of what we should expect in our lives, as opposed to you telling you who you are. Right. And that's going to be a completely different story because we've adopted the limited thinking and the mindset of the environments that we grew up in. And then the environments that we work in, we create hell in our house too, because we're creating the environment in our household based on the thinking that we have. We're creating it at work. And now you're like, no, I'm a badass. I was trying to spell it, but it came out. We got to rate this R. We got to rate this R Rated because you cuss six times.

[Carly]

Yeah.

[Christy]

And I just did it twice. But you're like, no, I'm a badass, and I'm going to crush it. And I'm smart. So you used to say you created your whole reality based on I'm stupid. I got ADHD. I can't learn properly. I can't do this. And now you're like, no, I'm a badass. I'm the greatest salesperson that ever walked this earth. I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. I'm the greatest mom. So what is one or two affirmations that you would share with the women who are listening right now? And what is the power of affirmation? So two affirmations, and then what's the power of it?

[Christy]

Hey, Christy Rutherford here. Do you want to learn how to ask for and get a 30% raise without getting another degree? Look, black women are the most educated and the least paid. I should tell you that math is not math ing. The degree is not the path to the next level is actually learning how to articulate the value and take credit for the work that you've already done. So I want to invite you to get my free case study at changenowwithchristy.com. Just get the information, use it, and take the money out of the hands of your employers and put it into your household because you already deserve it. You just have to know how to ask for it. Again, changenowwithchristy.com. I can't wait for you to get this insight, use it and get the money that you deserve. Take care.

[Carly]

So I'm going to say the power first. So the affirmations that I said, you know, the list of affirmations, saying that in the mirror every day allowed me to come up with my own affirmations that I say in addition to the affirmations that are on that list. So it wasn't like I was forcing myself to believe the affirmations that had already been created, but I did in a way until I started seeing myself that way. And then, once I started seeing myself that way, I created my own affirmations, and one is I'm a confident B-A-D-A-S-S. And another one is I am wicked smart, and I am, oh, it's something with intelligence and anyway, so I just really focus on the fact that I'm intelligent, I'm smart, I'm worthy, and I deserve it. And so saying those, like, I believe 1000% in those affirmations. I created those because I started believing them. I started believing the ones that were on that list. Does that make sense?

[Christy]

Yeah. So you started with a list of affirmations that we gave, which is pretty much an awareness of; I'm now in psychological warfare with myself because I don't even believe this good stuff that I'm saying in the beginning.

[Carly]

Right.

[Christy]

And then, as you move through the process, and I was on the call the night that it happened, Cassandra told you to create your own affirmation. And then you were like, wow, you came back at the end of the call. And when you started saying it, you know, you were like, and I said to, you know, Cassandra and Kathy, I said, no, she hooked into it. She believes that now, right? Like, you know, cause we're always wanting, when is Carly gonna get free? When is Carly gonna get free? Carly gonna be with us for a year. You know, we're just probably gonna get free, but I could see it that night was when you created your own affirmations. I could feel your energy hook into what you said was true about yourself.

[Carly]

Yep.

[Christy]

And when you repeated it long enough, does that make sense? Then all the magic, the heavens opened up, got rained down, lucky charms on your forehead. You got the new job; you got the freedom. You lost 15 pounds. All these things have happened. So what advice do you have for women who are considering working with the team over here Vision Finder International? What are your thoughts on that?

[Carly]

Well, I was going to say, obviously, I'm going to say hire Vision Finders International, join the Vision Finder Mastermind. It changed my life. I know that's so cliche, but you changed my life. This program changed my life. You have to be open, though. Like, even though, you know, when you told me my number on our very first call, and I was like, who are you talking to? No, that is not me. I was open, you know, even if it was a little bit, I was open to seeing if that was possible. So if you are open and you're willing to look at yourself freaking high, like schedule a call now with Christy of all the coaches I've worked with over the eight years of working with people has led me to Christy. This is, I'm 48 years old. This is, like, my brand new life. And I'm the happiest I've ever been. And it's just crazy. It's still crazy to me. It's still crazy to me.

[Christy]

Now, you gotta get used to being happy, which is what the [unclear]. Like this is, happiness is new. So y'all can join me next week at my event. You can go to levelupwithchristy.com. You can join us at our one-day event. We're going to talk for five hours. It's going to be great. I'm gonna scream for four. It's going to be awesome. We're going to go on our break. So, Carly, any last words to the viewers? Cause I know the Eagle Crew is going crazy, and everybody's celebrating you, but.

[Carly]

Oh, gosh.

[Christy]

I would say what… you know, I was thinking about yesterday. I've seen some pictures of, you know, the clients, our clients who work with each other. And then you create this network of women. Does that make sense? Like I've seen, like the women from two years ago, they're hanging out over here, and they're taking pictures together, and I get the pictures of the group.

What is that? What has that been like for you to meet and being the Eagle Crew? What is that? What is that like? What are the words to describe that?

[Carly]

You know when I… I initially really wanted to work with you one-on-one and was a little, like, I love group, but I'm like, no, I really need to work on me. Like I need this like one-on-one, but joining the group is a sisterhood of people that we believe that we're broken and to be so vulnerable together. And here's where you won't get with one-on-one. Learn from each other's stories. When we all share in our vulnerability, and then we see ourselves like in their story, and we can relate, that gives you all new aha moments and all additional aha moments. And then you start to believe in yourself, gain the confidence, you know, have your aha's, be happy. And you're going through that process together. Oh my gosh, I just got goosebumps. Like that is a bond that, I mean, it's unbreakable. Like we can tell each other to F off or are you crazy or, no, that's your problem. That's you. Like we can be so upfront and honest with each other, and we will not ever get offended. And we are each other's biggest cheerleaders like, that is priceless, priceless.

[Christy]

Ooh, that's so good. I'm getting chills. My cheeks are hurting, and I almost want to cry, but I'm not going to cry cause I ain't no punk, right? But I'm so happy for you. Like, cause it's been a long journey, but what I appreciate about you is that you never gave up. Like you believe me when I was like, oh, no. And even when, you know, we talked about it a little bit at the event, he was like, I want to join it in a circle. I was like this, nope, nope, no. Cause because you're not done. Like, go back through the process, start at week one. You were like.

[Carly]

Okay.

[Christy]

Nope. You're not right. Cause over here, we're not having these conversations. Like it's a whole different set of conversations where we're talking about the next thing. And I love it that you were willing to start all the way back over from scratch, right? Like all the way back to week one and go through it all again with new eyes and fresh lenses. And so what I appreciate about you and your story is that you actually, you wanted change so bad that you were running through it at first, and then you have to actually slow down and just unpack. And so it wasn't a doing; it was undoing.

[Carly]

Yes.

[Christy]

Right?

[Carly]

Yes. Well, and I appreciate that you are so invested in your clients and our results. Like you're just as invested as we are. And for you to say, no, uh-uh, you're not ready. I was like, oh my God, she really, really is invested in my outcome of this whole program. Like that's another thing that did it for me. I'm like, okay, this is not about the money. This is not about like, oh, you know, what else can I sign up, you know, these women in? No, it's like you get results. You saw that I wanted it, and you recognize I wasn't there yet. I couldn't see it. And so for you to see that for me is I appreciate that so much about you.

[Christy]

Yeah. I want to take in your money. I was like this, no, and it was a lot of money too. Uh-uh. Nah. This is God's work. I'm not doing it. That's not our jam over here. You feel like this, nah, but why don't you run back through this that you've already paid for? Does that make sense?

[Carly]

Yes.

[Christy]

And get what we promised you and stop playing. Then when you're… the result now, all right, fine. We'll open it up for you over here. But no, it ain't happening. So, all right, we've gone over. This has been our longest interview ever. We're gonna have to do, like, a two-hour show or something. I think we will still be engaged, but I appreciate you, Carly. Eagle Crew has shown up to give you your support. I appreciate your story. I'm telling you, I was looking for this breakthrough when you started and then in the middle. And then, when we told you to start over, I was like this. One day, Carly is gonna get free, and we're gonna get that testimony out of her. But I appreciate you showing up to share your story, to be vulnerable, to give women hope. And that's really what this session and the questions and the interviews are about. I want you all to know that your life can be completely different. I want women to know that you can actually be happy as a mom and you can work yourself out of, through your mind. And you're thinking; you're a toxic workplace. There ain't toxic. You toxic, right? Like it's, we deserve to live this life. You've done the work. You've checked the boxes. You've done everything. Now, let God do the rest for you. So I appreciate you. Don't hang up cause I want your number.

[Carly]

Okay.

[Christy]

All right, y'all, have a great weekend.

[Carly]

Love you.

[VO]

Thank you for joining us. Be sure to subscribe to this podcast and leave us a review. If you love this episode, follow Christy on Instagram and LinkedIn. And don't forget to get her free gift by texting change now, all one word again, change now to 66866. Until next time, go out and win bigger.