Wendy Green [00:00:25]:

Well, hello, and welcome to Boomer Banter, the podcast where we have real talk about aging well, and my name is Wendy Green, and I am your host. And in each episode of Boomer Banter, I try to focus on one of four topics, financial literacy, health, relationships, and purpose. And if you want to age well, you are in the right place. And today, our focus is going to be on relationships. So in 2023, the surgeon general released an advisory highlighting the public health crisis of loneliness, isolation, and lack of connection in our country. These three factors, loneliness, isolation, lack of connection, impact our mental and our physical health and our longevity. The problem impacts both teens and young adults, as well as older people. And most of you know this, and you've worked to build your social connections.

Wendy Green [00:01:36]:

But how many of you are connected to young adults? If I asked you to host a dinner party and make a list of all the different age groups that you could invite, would you know who to invite? Besides your family, right? Besides your grandkids, who do you know that is younger than you or older than you that you could include in this dinner party? My guest today, Sky Bergman, just released a new book titled lives well lived, resilience, positivity and purpose at any age. Sky is an accomplished, award winning photographer and filmmaker. She's a professor emeritus of photography and video at Cal Poly State University. And Sky's directorial debut, the documentary lives well lived, was inspired by her grandmother, who, at the age of 103, traveled out to California for the opening of the film. Through some serendipitous events, sky found her film was a tool to break down barriers between generations. And as the generations get to know each other, ageism both ways diminishes. Sky was a guest on our podcast. It's episode number 131 in February of 2023, where we first learned about the lives well lived documentary.

Wendy Green [00:03:18]:

You can find it and stream it on most PBS stations and on Amazon. And it's fabulous. If you haven't seen it, even if you have seen it, go watch it again. It's that good. And be sure to listen to episode 131 to get all the backstory of that. And with that, let me bring sky on. Hello, sky.

Sky Bergman [00:03:42]:

Hi, Wendy. Thank you for that. Just lovely. Wow. Thank you.

Wendy Green [00:03:48]:

Well, I am glad to have you with us today, sky. It really is exciting where you've taken this. And so I want to understand, first of all, your new purpose and where you found that when you were visiting your grandmother on her hundredth birthday in Florida, right?

Sky Bergman [00:04:07]:

Yeah, you've got that right. Well, again, thank you so much for having me on. I would say that working on this film has completely transformed my life. I love that my grandmother has given me a new purpose in life, really. As you mentioned, when my grandmother was turning 100, I was looking at approaching 50. I'm now 58 and looking for positive role models of aging. And everything that was in the media was everything that we could do to avoid aging, like all the anti aging creams that we could use, things that we could make us look more youthful. And, you know, the reality is I really wanted positive role models that were realistic of what I could do.

Sky Bergman [00:04:45]:

Because, let's face it, the one thing we all have in common is that we age each and every day. So why not embrace it rather than dread it? And here in my own family, I had this amazing role model of my grandmother who, as you mentioned, was turning 100, still working out at the gym. Hadn't started working out at the gym until she was 80. So she proved to me that it's never too late to start something new, even if it's working out at the gym. So, cool. I I just thought, you know, I'm going to film her when she's working out at the gym because I know that there were many times when I didn't want to get out of bed to go work out. And I would think of my grandmother at the gym and that would be the motivation that I needed to get out of bed. And I filmed her and thankfully, I had a mic on her and I said, grandma, can you give me some words of wisdom? And she said things like, live life to the limits and be kind and learn something new every day.

Sky Bergman [00:05:37]:

And I came back from that trip and I thought, I need to find other people out there that are not being showcased, that I can showcase, that are living life to the limits like my grandmother is. And that was a quest that I went on for four years, interviewing 40 people with a collective life experience of 3000 years. And it has definitely resonated with a lot of people and struck a chord and is still going strong. As he said on PBS, we just got our contract renewed for another four years, Amazon and iTunes, and go grandma. Because she's the inspiration for making that all happen.

Wendy Green [00:06:12]:

Go, grandma. And then you ended up having, like, I don't know how many more grandmas and grandpas just from that four year experience of filming this.

Sky Bergman [00:06:21]:

Well, yeah, I like to say that my grandmother left me the greatest legacy, which is 40 new grandparents, because really all the people in the film became like grandparents to me. I mean, I just. What a gift that was that I have the wisdom and the friendship of all these amazing people. So I feel very, very fortunate.

Wendy Green [00:06:40]:

Well, and I feel fortunate that you shared that with all of us through the lives well lived documentary. So I'm curious, though, you went from there looking for the role models with the older people, 70, 80, 90 and beyond. How did that come down to. All right, now let's talk to the young people.

Sky Bergman [00:07:00]:

That's a really good question. So I am fortunate enough. As you mentioned, I'm a professor emeritus. So I taught at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo in California for 30 years. And at the time that the film was released, I was still teaching. And I had a colleague of mine who teaches a class called the psychology of aging. And one of her students happened to go see the film in the theater and came back to class and said, oh, my God, Professor Bartlett, you have to see this film. This is everything that you're talking about in class.

Sky Bergman [00:07:32]:

And she went to see the film and realized that the serendipity, as you mentioned, that we work at the same university, and we decided to get together. By the end of the week, we were having lunch and coming up with a plan of how we could connect generations, how we could push the idea of the film beyond just it being this film that could be shown in her class, but also make it the catalyst for young people wanting to connect with older people and wanting to know the stories and hear the stories of older adults in their lives and people that they didn't know. And, you know, I grew up in a household that was four generations. My great grandmother was still alive. We live with my grandparents and my parents. All of us live together. So I had four generations. In some ways, I don't know that I took it for granted, but I think as a kid, I didn't realize how incredibly special that was.

Sky Bergman [00:08:23]:

And as an educator, I know that most of my students in college had no contact with an older adult except, like, a professor or a parent or somebody within their own family. And you mentioned at the beginning of this about if you were to have a dinner party, how many different generations could you possibly call on to have dinner with? And I think we live in a very age segregated world at this moment that whatever we can do to bring generations together is super, super important. And so that was kind of how it all started with this wonderful, serendipitous moment of this fellow teacher at my university who took an interest in us getting together and saying, what could we do to make something out of this? And this boy has it taken off from there.

Wendy Green [00:09:13]:

Yeah. That's so amazing. I mean, you're right. Age segregated. I don't know many people that grew up in a family like yours for generations. You know, it's very unusual. And more so now, I think, because, you know, people just spread out all over the country, all over the world. So.

Wendy Green [00:09:31]:

So you had this idea, okay, let's do this. Bring these generations together. How do you even get started? What do you do?

Sky Bergman [00:09:40]:

Well, I was lucky enough, like I said, that I was working with a colleague, and we were doing it within the context of a class. And so that definitely really helped because this became the service learning component part of the class for the psychology of aging class. And so we created a structure where we show the film to both the students and the older adults. And then we gave the questions that I asked everyone when I came up with, like, 20 something questions that I asked everyone in the film. And we gave the students and the older adults those questions as a starting point, because I think one of the hardest things when you're trying to get to know somebody is like, what questions do you ask? Or when you're going to interview somebody, you know, what questions do you ask? How do you get that started beyond just a yes or a no question? How do you open the floodgates so that you can have this intimate conversation in a very short period of time with somebody that you didn't know before? And so having that framework that we provided for them was super important. I think that really helped. And then we would do a photo shoot kind of midway through, where we'd bring the older adults and the students together, which was so much fun to see how they connected over that shorter period of time. And at the end of the quarter, the students were tasked with doing a PowerPoint presentation where they talked about what they learned, and the older adults were invited to get up and also speak about what they learned and what they found after working together for a quarter.

Sky Bergman [00:11:04]:

And I'll tell you, there are so many friendships that have continued as a result of that project. We've been doing it now for, I think, eight or nine years. When the pandemic hit, we paired up with senior Planet, which is part of AARP, and did it virtually, and I will never forget. You know, you talked about the loneliness epidemic, and it was especially hard during the pandemic. And there was one young student, young man who came on and said, this was the first new friend that he had made during the pandemic. And I thought, how amazing is that? That through this project, he made a new friend who was an older adult, because I think the two groups of individuals that were the most affected were older adults and younger people during the pandemic. And so to bring those two groups together, it was magic. It really was magic.

Wendy Green [00:11:51]:

Yeah. So one of the things that people seem to find difficult in conversation is listening. Right. So was there any training with the young adults or the older people on how to listen when you ask the question?

Sky Bergman [00:12:10]:

That's a good question. We did. I do have a video that's up on my website, on the take action part of the lives will live website that we have the students watch, which was. And we have the older adults watch, which is all about how to do an interview, how to leave room and space for people to breathe. Also talks about asking questions that are more open ended rather than yes or no questions, because we gave them those 20 questions as a starting point and hoped that they would go off on tangents from there, but really wanted to give them, like I said, a framework. And then where they went from there was up to them. We did give them some guidelines of good best practices, I would say. And I think that that helped.

Sky Bergman [00:12:55]:

I think that it's a learning process. I certainly became a better interviewer the longer that I did it. And I'm sure you as well, being a podcast interviewer, you learn as you. We have a motto at the university, it's learn by doing. And I felt like I was living that motto as I was doing this project. But, yeah, I think that they had a bit of a framework to start with, which was very helpful.

Wendy Green [00:13:19]:

That's great. So. And that's hopefully a lifelong lesson because they become better communicators that way.

Sky Bergman [00:13:27]:

Absolutely.

Wendy Green [00:13:28]:

Yeah. So I'm curious, sky, you mentioned in the book that the generations found things in common, which was surprising. Right. Like, I look at my generation and all of the stuff that we did and all, and now the kids, like, they live in a completely different world with all this technology and everything. So do you have an idea of what some of the things in common are that they found?

Sky Bergman [00:13:55]:

Well, as you alluded to, one of the things that we heard over and over again from the students and the older adults was that at the end of the project, they felt like they had far more in common than their differences. And really the biggest difference was their age. And I think that we've lived maybe different experiences, but the emotions and the things that happen really resonate. No matter what age we are, we all deal with issues of loneliness, of a sense of purpose, a sense of resilience, resiliency, all those things are the commonalities. It may take different forms, but I think there is that same underlying need as people, you know, that we want to have that sense of purpose. We want to have that sense of support and community. All those things run across. Doesn't matter how old or young you are, you still have that.

Sky Bergman [00:14:41]:

And I know, you know, there's some, there's a lot of stereotypes about that older people have about younger people and vice versa. And I think that in working together, they get to learn about each other. And in doing that, I think it's like any other stereotype or ism. It's a lot more difficult to have a stereotype about a group of people if you have a friend from that other group. And I think that makes those isms, those stereotypes disappear. I think that it really, you start thinking about it. Oh, well, I have somebody that I know that's in their nineties, that's still using a cell phone or on the computer all the time, and they're told they could teach me. And so, you know.

Sky Bergman [00:15:21]:

Right. That is a stereotype that we have, that older people are not technologically savvy, and there are some people that need some help. But for the most part, I have found that that is so, such a stereotype. I think that. And again, there's stereotypes in both directions. I want to be really clear, for sure. Although when we think about ageism, we think about it directed at older adults. There are many times where there are ageist beliefs and stereotypes that are directed at young people as well.

Sky Bergman [00:15:49]:

And so it's really important that when we work on these projects and any intergenerational work, it really takes into account that both generations are equally important and that, you know, we need to get rid of the stereotypes in both directions. Not one direction or the other, but in both directions.

Wendy Green [00:16:07]:

Yes. I think that's a really important lesson to learn. And the only way it's learned is if you, like you said, you know, people. So outside of the classroom. Now, that's a very small group. Well, first, how did you find the older people that you brought into the classroom?

Sky Bergman [00:16:24]:

Yeah, that's a good question. So when we did it in person, we worked with a couple of assisted living facilities, one that was for profit and one that was not for profit. And as I mentioned, we still work with senior planet. So we're doing that online. And that was volunteers. We put a call out and people volunteered. And the wonderful thing about doing it online, although in person is lovely. But online, the students could work with people from literally all over the country.

Sky Bergman [00:16:50]:

And that was really just wonderful for them because, because, you know, some of the students were thinking about moving to different places, had never been out of California, so to, you know, talk to somebody maybe in New York or we worked with people in New York and Colorado, in California, I mean, all over. And that was pretty remarkable. So that was all volunteer. And there are many other universities and high schools that are using, we call it like the lives will lived intergenerational learning module. And there are lots of other places that are using the same platform. And PBS learning media, because the films on PBS, I was able to work with PBS learning media. So educators that are at grades five through twelve can actually do a similar project in their classroom. And it meets all the core standards.

Sky Bergman [00:17:37]:

And it's completely free for those educators to use that. So they can, they can go online, find that there's a couple of clips from the film that they can show, and then it meets all the core standards so they can check off all the right boxes and, and easily plug it into a classroom because I think that's one of the keys is you want to make it as easy for educators to use as possible so that it's not a hindrance. It's, it helps them rather than makes it more difficult in their classroom to do something. So.

Wendy Green [00:18:04]:

Yeah, well, that was going to be my next question. Like, how do you take it outside of the classroom? Well, at least at, you know, Cal Poly, but you spread it around. But, but, you know, like Ann mentions here that she, in the Rotary Club, they have people from ages 25 to 80, you know, so they have an intergenerational thing going. There's a lot of organizations you mentioned in your book that also are focusing on intergenerational. So how do you take this outside of the classroom? Is there a way even I could do something like this?

Sky Bergman [00:18:41]:

Yeah, there's, I mean, there's tons of organizations that are doing similar work to this. Sages and seekers by Ellie, run by Ellie Katz is one of my favorites. We were both fellows through cogenerate together, which is another fabulous organization. But they do a similar kind of thing that we're doing. But it can be online or in person. They don't, you know, use lives, we'll live film, but it's a, some very similar idea. And I think that all of the intergenerational projects, so in the book, the second half of the book is all about the lessons that I learned from all these amazing people around the globe that are doing intergenerational work. So I interviewed 40 people.

Sky Bergman [00:19:22]:

I like the number 40. So I interviewed 40 people, again, who, their organizations are doing incredible work, whether it's an intergenerational symphony or co generational housing or something around climate change, I think the thing that makes them work is that there is an end goal that everybody, a common goal that everybody's working towards. And so whether it's doing an oral history or creating a symphony together, because when you create music, that is something that has to be done together or coming around together around the idea of what can we do around climate change. So I think all of these people are just doing amazing work connecting generations where there's something that everybody's working towards. Whether you're a young person or an older person, you come together for a common goal. And I think that's super important.

Wendy Green [00:20:14]:

So I'm curious, why, why do you think this is really caught on now? Why are so many people aware of the importance of intergenerational connection?

Sky Bergman [00:20:26]:

I think it's twofold. I think that there is something about our aging population, and I think that in the last, I would say four or five years, there's been a lot more positivity around aging than there was. So I think that's being highlighted. I also think the pandemic has highlighted some of the negative things that are happening because we're so segregated and so separate. And I think you mentioned the, you know, the search general had a study about loneliness. And actually smoking cigarettes is not as. It's, it's more. It's, I don't know, put it on.

Wendy Green [00:21:02]:

The more detrimental to your health.

Sky Bergman [00:21:04]:

Yeah. It's more detrimental to your healthy lonely than smoking cigarettes. That's what I wanted to say.

Wendy Green [00:21:09]:

I read that. That's incredible.

Sky Bergman [00:21:11]:

It's amazing. So I think that people are finally recognizing how separate and segregated we are and how siloed we are. I mean, I also, I am part of that silo in many ways because I teach at a university where everybody's from 18 to 24, pretty much because I used to teach at community college, which I loved because it was all different ages. But at the university, it's pretty much 18 to 24 year olds with maybe some returning students. But for the most part, it's that age group. So I keep getting older while my students stay the same age. And it's a very interesting phenomenon that happens. But I can clearly see where the students, for now, I think, because we are so much on our devices and so we can be so isolated in more ways than we used to be, maybe 20 years ago.

Sky Bergman [00:22:01]:

I think it's exacerbated that even more. And I see a lot of students that are really dealing with severe depression and loneliness. And it doesn't take much to bring people out of their shell to make them feel like a part of something. And I think that that's important. And if it comes within the, you know, context of a classroom and that that is helpful where they are forced to, you know, as part of the class, well, they could take another class, but they know when they get into this class that they are going to, part of what they're, they're responsible for is to have this interaction with an older adult. And people actually seek out the class because they want to do that. And that's such a delight. But I think that it's just these studies about loneliness have really contributed to trying to get the word out about bringing generations together.

Sky Bergman [00:22:49]:

And then I think there's some really good organizations like code generate, which used to be encore.org, that are highlighting the work that people are doing to bring generations together. And I think that when you have organizations like that that are really helping to show and highlight what is possible, it leaves the door open for other people to jump on the bandwagon and want to do the same thing or be inspired to do the same thing. So I think that's kind of like the snowball effect. I think that's happening.

Wendy Green [00:23:17]:

Yeah. And we've highlighted, we had Ellie Katz on from sages and seekers. We had Samuel brubed on.

Sky Bergman [00:23:24]:

Oh, yeah. From climate summit. Yeah.

Wendy Green [00:23:27]:

Yeah. So, I mean, I think there is. And there's the power in it, you know, when you have the passion of the young people and the experience of the older people, it works so well together. Once you get past that, you don't understand me, I don't understand you kind of stuff.

Sky Bergman [00:23:45]:

Absolutely. And I think that we also need to move beyond the stereotypes. So there is a stereotype that older adults are going to be the ones with wisdom and younger people are going to be the ones with the energy. And that is sometimes the case, but not always the case. So there are many times when young people have amazing ideas and have a lot of wisdom, and there are many times when the older adults are the ones that are pulling it through with more energy than the younger people are. So I think we need to, like, move beyond those labels and stereotypes. And I think, you know, one of the things that's really been a disservice is to label generations by different names. So you fit into this category? Well, no person fits in any one particular category.

Sky Bergman [00:24:25]:

I think when we start doing that, it really makes it more difficult, I think, for everyone when we start labeling people and generations. So my hope is that we just start, you know, thinking about people working together rather than what age we are.

Wendy Green [00:24:43]:

Thank you for that reminder. So, I'm curious. You know, you said you had a list of 20 questions. If we're coming together for a first meeting with somebody that we don't know, but we would like to build a relationship, whether it's in an organization or, you know, a lot of volunteer opportunities like that. Are there one or two of your favorites that kind of seem to kickstart a conversation?

Sky Bergman [00:25:14]:

Yeah, I mean, I think that one of the questions that I asked was, tell me three fun or interesting facts about you that I wouldn't know otherwise. And that is, people love that because, you know, it's like, you know, maybe, you know, somebody from an organization or a job, but you may not know, like, I used to play bassoon in high school. Okay. That's kind of a weird, fun fact. And that could lead to. To a whole other discussion. And so I think one of the things that's really important is to ask more open ended questions. Don't ask yes or no questions.

Sky Bergman [00:25:47]:

That was something that I learned early on, because otherwise, that's what you will get, is a yes or no answer and ask the follow up questions. I think that's also really important. But the fun or interesting facts about you. Boy, when I asked that question, that just opened up the floodgates of some really crazy stories that I would never have known otherwise. And I typically did research about everybody that I. Before I went to interview them. So I knew a lot about the people that I was going to interview. And still there would be something that would be fun that would come up, you know, I think so.

Sky Bergman [00:26:21]:

That would be kind of my favorite one. I think another one is, what's the best advice you ever got? And did you take it? I love hearing that one. And then I think a third one is, what's been the most instrumental in shaping your life? What's been the most instrumental thing in shaping your life? Sometimes it's some weird event that happened, you know, the serendipity of a moment. It's. That's always. Those are. Those are, I think, my top three.

Wendy Green [00:26:50]:

I'm going to capture those in the show notes because I think those are really helpful, you know, for people that, I mean, I could even ask my grandkids those kinds of questions, you know?

Sky Bergman [00:26:59]:

Absolutely. And those questions are on our website. They're there because I realized at a certain point that I couldn't keep interviewing people or I would never get a film done. And so I have a place where people can actually share their stories. And I think that that's. I really encourage people to do that because one of the questions that I did ask everyone was, do you have any regrets? And the biggest regret that people had was not asking a question of somebody that had passed away. We think people are going to be around forever, and they're not. And so, you know, whether it's that you want to write down your own story or you want to ask somebody a question, don't wait to do it.

Sky Bergman [00:27:34]:

And interestingly enough, that was the biggest regret that people had.

Wendy Green [00:27:38]:

Yeah, that makes sense. So you found a new purpose. Yeah, this was, you know, connecting with the older people, getting role models for yourself. Well, that has transformed some, and you're doing a lot of more intergenerational things. Can you tell me more about your new purpose and what that involves?

Sky Bergman [00:28:02]:

Well, I think that, you know, no matter what I do, everything that moving forward is going to have some kind of an intergenerational twist. So the book where, you know, the first half of it is the things that I learned about when I made the film from all these amazing people, like you talked about, positivity, resilience, sense of purpose. And then the second half were all these wonderful people that I met because I was inspired to find out more about what's happening in the world to connect generations. And I'm also, because working on a book was not enough, I'm working on two new films. One is called Mochi suki, which if you have. If you don't know what that is, it quite literally translates to making mochi. And its mochi is white rice that is steamed and pounded until it's kind of like the consistency of bread dough. And then it's shaped into little mochi balls.

Sky Bergman [00:28:51]:

And Mochi suki is a japanese tradition where they make mochi to bring in the new year as a sense of hope and resilience. And so, so it's really, the film is really about the japanese american experience as told through this mochi ceremony, which I love because one of the people in the lives will live. Film invited me to a mochi suki, and I just fell in love with that. And I think, and my brother is married to a japanese woman and lives in Japan, and I have two japanese american nephews. So I love being a little bit closer to their culture. I always say the more personal a project, the more universal it becomes. And I also think about my grandmother and being in the kitchen with her and the wisdom and love that she shared with me while we were cooking together. And I think everyone that's listening can think of something around food that brought their family together and that brought generations together.

Sky Bergman [00:29:39]:

So I love this idea of food bringing generations together. And then the other film that I'm working on is called the Primetime Band. And as I mentioned, I was a band geek. I played flute, clarinet, and bassoon.

Wendy Green [00:29:51]:

Oh, all of those.

Sky Bergman [00:29:53]:

Yeah, I still play guitar and flute, not bassoon anymore, but I heard about this. The primetime band is a band down in Santa Barbara, and I heard about them through the Mochi film. Actually, the person who is the conductor for the primetime band reached out to me about Mochi and then told me that he played bassoon as well and was the conductor of this group called the Primetime Band. And I said, wait a second. I love that name. Tell me more. And it's a group of people, mostly in their sixties, seventies, eighties, and nineties, who are maybe played an instrument in high school or junior high school and put their instruments away when they did their day jobs and now are coming back to music later in life. And there are about 75 people in the band, and they rehearse every Tuesday night, and then they perform throughout Santa Barbara county.

Sky Bergman [00:30:39]:

And it's wonderful because it does tie into lives well, lived in such a beautiful way, because there's so many things about the band that tie into having a sense of purpose coming together to make music together, having a community, because you have that band community having that resilience. I mean, there's people in the band that have Parkinson's. There's one guy that plays trombone that can barely hold it because he's shaking so much, but he's still there every Tuesday playing his trombone. There's another woman who plays flute who can't hold her flute up horizontally anymore and figured out a way to have the headstock so she can play it vertically. I mean, you talk about the resilience of wanting to keep going. It's amazing. And a number of these people are also part of a group called the music van. And I love this is the intergenerational part.

Sky Bergman [00:31:23]:

They go into third grade classrooms, quite literally, with a van full of instruments and introduce instruments to third graders, many of whom have never touched an instrument in their lives. And to see the joy on their faces when they get to play the trombone or the tuber or the flute, you can't imagine the joy that comes out of them. So I love this idea of people coming back to music later in life and then paying it forward to young people and maybe getting them excited about music in a way that they would never, ever have explored or found out about otherwise.

Wendy Green [00:31:55]:

Two exciting projects. Okay, so you, so you write a book, you have two movies going. So are they out yet? Or what's the schedule with those?

Sky Bergman [00:32:03]:

Yeah, that's a good question. My website, which is just skybergmanproductions.com, has every project that I'm working on and links to all of them. And the Mochi film, there is a 20 minutes sneak preview that's going to come out. It's out now for people to see. But the full film, which is going to be an hour long program, will be on PBS in May of 2025 for Asian American Pacific Islander months. And the primetime band film is. We're still working on it. We do have a trailer, but we're still working on that one that's a little farther away from being done.

Sky Bergman [00:32:37]:

But I'm hoping to premiere it in February at the Santa Barbara International Film Festival because it's the 30th anniversary of the band. So I would love to have that premiere and then have them play or perform after the film shows. So that's my.

Wendy Green [00:32:51]:

Finished all the filming now.

Sky Bergman [00:32:53]:

You're finished all the filming now we're editing.

Wendy Green [00:32:55]:

Yeah, editing, post production, all that good.

Sky Bergman [00:32:57]:

Stuff, the boring stuff, but all the stuff that has to get done, you.

Wendy Green [00:33:01]:

Have to get done. Wow. So I was thinking, as you were describing the third grade class, trying out all those instruments, I'm like, whoa, that's a lot of dissonance sound coming out of that.

Sky Bergman [00:33:13]:

But it's wonderful dissonance. I mean, you go in there and that energy is so infectious. It, you just. I mean, it took me six months to get permission to do this because of course I'm going into elementary schools and getting model releases, but for 1 hour, basically, of filming. But it was worth all the effort to be able to go in there and do that. I mean, you just, you can't imagine what joy and you can actually see these students when they leave, that they are changed after picking up an instrument. They are forever changed by having that experience.

Wendy Green [00:33:46]:

Yeah. And third grade is a perfect age to do that in. I know. They're still so open and excited. That's awesome.

Sky Bergman [00:33:52]:

Indeed.

Wendy Green [00:33:55]:

Yeah. So you're going to take a little break after this are you going to take a breath?

Sky Bergman [00:34:02]:

I am going to take a breath. I'm taking a three month sabbatical and I'm going to travel in Europe and leave my computer behind. I'll check emails, but I have promised not to do any work. So I'm going to just take some time off because I think life is about balance. And that's one thing for sure. That I learned from all the amazing people that I interviewed in the film was really to have a moment of gratitude, to really live in the moment, and then also to. To have balance. And I think it's like anything else, if you do something too much for too long, it's not healthy.

Sky Bergman [00:34:38]:

So I need to take a little break and a little breather and I'll come back very refreshed and even more engaged. So that is what I'm looking forward to.

Wendy Green [00:34:46]:

I'm sure. Sky, your enthusiasm is fantastic. I love the book, I love the movie. And yeah, I think it would be cool if we had a couple of snippets of the kids with the adults that they partnered with, too, in the classes, hear what they say, you know, like sages and seekers does that, too, right? Where the adults and the kids say something nice about each other.

Sky Bergman [00:35:11]:

Yeah, I post about that all the time. So if you look on my social media site, I am always, at least once a week, I'm posting something, a photo of the older adult and a student and some word of wisdom that came out of their connection with each other.

Wendy Green [00:35:27]:

Yeah, it's a beautiful thing, Skye. So if you could leave us with a couple of ideas or thoughts about the importance of these intergenerational connections, and maybe for those of us who are in an isolated kind of. Of, what do you call it, siloed type of community, how do we step out of that?

Sky Bergman [00:35:51]:

Well, I think I can give you my own personal example because I was kind of in a rut in my forties. I was department chair and just working way too hard, not having the balance in my life and not having a lot of friends. And I think that we sometimes get into those moments where we look up and we go, oh, my goodness, I have no friends. I mean, I have a few, but I'm working so hard that they're all related to work. And I wanted to make a change. And so I started having a women's dinner the first Monday of every month. And I would quite literally talk to people in the grocery store or on the street and say, hey, I know this is going to sound weird, but I do this thing and all different ages. And I have continued that for like twelve years now.

Sky Bergman [00:36:34]:

We took a little hiatus during the pandemic, but we still have it going on. And I have people from the ages of 20 to 90 and it's a very light lift for if you want to do something like this, I just open up my house. I have to big potluck dinner. There's no agenda. But we, you know, what I found, at least for me, was that women want to get together and gather and to make the space for that to happen. And also for me to carve out the time one day a month that I was going to make this happen was so important. And it's just like everybody in town knows I've got almost 200 people on my email list for it. Not everybody comes at any time, but there can be as many as like 75 or 80 people that love and it just overflows to outside.

Sky Bergman [00:37:16]:

And I tell everybody bring a folding chair and it's amazing what happens with that. So I think, you know, if you want to make something happen, it doesn't have to be something massive. It can be something really. You can start small, maybe start by talking to somebody of another generation while you're waiting in line, and you have no idea where friendship can come from. And really if you're open to it, I think if you're looking for something more structured and, you know, you're an older adult, look at places that you can volunteer, where you can do something that you are really engaged and excited about and you can share that with a different generation. There are so many programs that are available that really allow for different generations to connect with each other, but you, you know, it's just like friendships, it's work. You do have to look for it and you do have to make it happen. It's not going to just happen to you.

Sky Bergman [00:38:08]:

So you really have to make a conscious effort to make that happen. But if you do, it's amazing the results that happen and how much fuller and richer your life will be.

Wendy Green [00:38:18]:

Yeah. And your book is an amazing resource. Lives well lived generations because you have all of the 40 organizations there that pretty much touch on anything that someone might be interested in. I think there's another thing to think about too, before I, is that as an older adult, you know, especially if you're living alone, it's good to know a few younger people that might be there in case of an emergency and more easily able to get you somewhere or lift you up or whatever. Then maybe someone who's older than you. Just a thought.

Sky Bergman [00:39:00]:

Absolutely. I mean, I think that my grandmother always used to say, your friends become your family because as we move so far apart from each other, we really do rely on our friends. And I think that was really what started this women's dinner for me was I thought, oh, my God, if something happened to me, I don't have a good support group of people that I can count on. And I need to build that. I need to like, make a decision that this is something that's important enough for me to work on. And I agree, having all different ages is super important, whether, where it's, you know, as you mentioned, it's nice to have people that are younger, just in case. But I think having people that are all different ages is so important. It just, it really broadens your life and broadens your outlook on things.

Sky Bergman [00:39:44]:

And it's, it's just wonderful to share ideas with people of all different ages.

Wendy Green [00:39:49]:

Yeah, I find it very interesting when I get together with younger people and older people. Yeah. Let me share your website one more time. It's skybergmanproductions.com. and everything's there, right? Sky, the book, the movie links, the what's coming. There's so much. Everything.

Sky Bergman [00:40:11]:

Yeah, it's all there.

Wendy Green [00:40:13]:

So she is her own production studio now, Sky Bergmanproductions.com. and that will also be in the show notes. Yeah. Thank you for all of that. So I just wanted to say, if you guys, if you liked this conversation, if you want to be part of the boomer banter, real talk about aging, well, community, and you want to feel supported and encouraged, then just go to the heyboomer biz homepage and you can click on connect with us. And then you'll be kept up on all the information of who's going to be next guest and when, any kind of activities we might be having. So that's a really great place to find out what's going on here. And also, if you are listening on the podcast, please like and review and let us know what you thought.

Wendy Green [00:41:10]:

Let us know some of your takeaways from this conversation. Both sky and I would certainly appreciate that.

Sky Bergman [00:41:17]:

Indeed.

Wendy Green [00:41:18]:

Yeah. So next week, we're starting a new month, which means a new topic. And so in August, we're going to be focused on the topic related to our health and how we can take actions to age well. And for many of us, the idea of aging in place or staying in our homes as we age is something that we really like. But in order to do that successfully, we have to consider our health and safety. And so next week, we're going to speak with Heather Evanston Brooks. She's a certified aging in place specialist. And Heather has many ideas about things we can do to our homes to make them safer and more accessible as we age.

Wendy Green [00:42:03]:

And we'll also talk about common things as well as some of the new home innovations. Oh, my goodness. There's kind of amazing what you can put into your home. So they're making the idea of aging in place more of a reality. So tune in next week. Sky, thank you so much for being with us today.

Sky Bergman [00:42:27]:

Thank you for having me. It's just been such a pleasure. I've loved this conversation. And thank you for everybody that left comments. And, wendy, thank you for having me. This has been really just a blast.

Wendy Green [00:42:36]:

Thank you, sky. For me, too. I look for the other movies. I'll be watching those.

Sky Bergman [00:42:42]:

Okay. Yeah.

Wendy Green [00:42:44]:

All right, so the boomer banter podcast is produced by me, wendy green, and the music that you heard at the beginning comes from purple planet music. It's fun. All right, see you next week. Thanks.