1 00:00:35,820 --> 00:00:40,080 Host: Lolly Daskal, she's an amazing woman. First of all, she 2 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:43,650 is one of the most popular writers for Inc, and she has 3 00:00:43,650 --> 00:00:46,890 over 1.2 million Twitter followers. It's probably more 4 00:00:46,890 --> 00:00:50,610 than that even by now. She's written for HBr, Fast Company, 5 00:00:50,610 --> 00:00:54,930 Huffington Post Psychology Today. And she writes almost 6 00:00:54,930 --> 00:00:59,160 exclusively pretty much exclusively on leadership, and 7 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:04,050 she is the CEO of Lead From Within. And her first book, it's 8 00:01:04,050 --> 00:01:08,700 called The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your 9 00:01:08,730 --> 00:01:11,940 Greatness. She's here with me today by special invite. So 10 00:01:11,940 --> 00:01:13,170 Lolly, welcome to the show. 11 00:01:13,410 --> 00:01:15,600 Lolly Daskal: I have been looking forward to this. And 12 00:01:15,630 --> 00:01:18,180 thank you for inviting me. I'm looking forward to our 13 00:01:18,180 --> 00:01:19,320 conversation. 14 00:01:19,530 --> 00:01:22,260 Host: Yeah, well, and I know you've had some pretty big 15 00:01:22,260 --> 00:01:25,650 honors, I mean, being in the top 50 leadership and management 16 00:01:25,650 --> 00:01:29,910 expert by Inc. I saw it one point that Huffington Post 17 00:01:29,910 --> 00:01:32,790 called you the most inspiring woman in the world, which is 18 00:01:32,790 --> 00:01:36,570 pretty cool. So I was curious about who inspires you. 19 00:01:36,870 --> 00:01:39,720 Lolly Daskal: So I've been inspired by three particular 20 00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:45,030 people. And guess what never met them. The first one is Viktor 21 00:01:45,030 --> 00:01:49,140 Frankl. I read his book, The Man's Search for Meaning. And it 22 00:01:49,140 --> 00:01:54,780 changed my life. I read another book by Joseph Campbell. And it 23 00:01:54,780 --> 00:01:58,590 changed my life. I read a book by Carl Gustav Jung, and it 24 00:01:58,590 --> 00:02:02,880 changed my life. Now these three mentors have shaped who I am, 25 00:02:03,030 --> 00:02:06,450 and what I do in the world, how I coach how I do business 26 00:02:06,450 --> 00:02:09,720 consulting. And actually, because of them, I've taken 27 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:13,560 their three teachings and implemented into, you know, the 28 00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:17,310 service that I do for others. And this was what inspired my 29 00:02:17,310 --> 00:02:21,180 system. And now I write about my system in the leadership gap. 30 00:02:22,170 --> 00:02:25,620 Host: In terms of the leadership gap, what would you say is 31 00:02:25,650 --> 00:02:30,510 different or new, or what's sort of the unique slant or the angle 32 00:02:30,510 --> 00:02:33,630 or the what's the what is the part that forwards the thinking 33 00:02:33,630 --> 00:02:35,730 of what's been written already on leadership? 34 00:02:36,060 --> 00:02:38,430 Lolly Daskal: So there are two parts very particular parts, 35 00:02:38,430 --> 00:02:41,730 what makes this book different number one is most of you don't 36 00:02:41,730 --> 00:02:44,880 know, maybe none of you know, but I read a book a day, and I 37 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:48,060 read about leadership, and I read about business, and most of 38 00:02:48,060 --> 00:02:52,080 the books will talk to you about how most of the books will tell 39 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:55,560 you when, and where. And recently, we had a book will 40 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:58,770 tell you even why. And what I found is, especially in 41 00:02:58,770 --> 00:03:02,310 philosophy, most of the writings about how to take us to 42 00:03:02,310 --> 00:03:06,750 greatness and how to succeed, talks about who you are being. 43 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:11,400 And so I decided that I was going to write my book about who 44 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:14,910 you are being while you are living and while you are living. 45 00:03:14,940 --> 00:03:19,170 So that's one difference. Number two is is that I have found that 46 00:03:19,170 --> 00:03:21,960 there are also books about archetypes and personas and 47 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:25,140 traits and skills about leadership. Or what I haven't 48 00:03:25,140 --> 00:03:29,790 found anywhere in a leadership book or in a business book, that 49 00:03:29,790 --> 00:03:33,840 will teach you that you're very seen strengths can have a 50 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:37,620 weakness, and instead of saying, let's not concentrate on the 51 00:03:37,620 --> 00:03:41,280 weakness, I teach you how to leverage that weakness. I call 52 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:44,970 those weaknesses, the gaps. And so this book teaches you that 53 00:03:44,970 --> 00:03:48,900 you are a whole person in order to succeed in order to stand in 54 00:03:48,900 --> 00:03:51,630 your greatness in order to do the things you want to do in the 55 00:03:51,630 --> 00:03:55,950 world. You need to own all of who you are, in order to be a 56 00:03:55,950 --> 00:03:58,500 whole person. And that's what this book is about. It teaches 57 00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:02,130 you that you have both a light in the dark, the shadows and the 58 00:04:02,130 --> 00:04:05,880 greatness. And once you learn how to leverage it and own it, 59 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:09,480 and you take responsibility for it, you can get what you want in 60 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:09,750 life. 61 00:04:10,290 --> 00:04:12,750 Host: So I want to come back to that one here in a second. But 62 00:04:12,810 --> 00:04:17,070 what are some of the things in terms of a leader and who they 63 00:04:17,070 --> 00:04:20,460 are and how they are living? What are some of those kind of 64 00:04:20,460 --> 00:04:24,030 key things you think who you should be being when you're 65 00:04:24,030 --> 00:04:25,140 being a great leader? 66 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:27,520 Lolly Daskal: Great question. I'm so happy you asked that. But 67 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:30,490 one of the things that I want to talk about is let's go back a 68 00:04:30,490 --> 00:04:33,670 little deeper than that before I answer that question, great 69 00:04:33,700 --> 00:04:37,060 leaders in order for them to change the world around them, 70 00:04:37,060 --> 00:04:40,240 right? They that's what we call them great leaders, they must 71 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:44,500 start by changing from within. That's where it starts. I think 72 00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:48,130 that great leaders have the ability to rethink, and I'm 73 00:04:48,130 --> 00:04:51,820 using that word in particular because we think is an acronym, 74 00:04:52,060 --> 00:04:55,120 the seven archetypes of my book because it's all about the WHO 75 00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:58,960 YOU JUST and who you need to be. And because they're able to 76 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:03,340 rethink util lies that system, there are constantly learning, 77 00:05:03,580 --> 00:05:08,380 changing and growing as leaders. So Vaughn is the secret sauce, 78 00:05:08,470 --> 00:05:12,190 the ability to rethink because this is what it is, in my system 79 00:05:12,190 --> 00:05:16,870 the rethink system, you can be. So take seven archetypes, right. 80 00:05:17,020 --> 00:05:20,680 And if you take the first archetype, you can either stand 81 00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:23,890 in your greatness, or you can lead from your gaps. My 82 00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:27,040 archetypes are different. Because it's situational, we 83 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:31,240 don't lean into one part of who we are, we lean into all parts 84 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:34,510 of who we are. And so if you learn the rethink system and the 85 00:05:34,510 --> 00:05:37,930 seven archetypes, let's start with the first one. And people 86 00:05:37,930 --> 00:05:41,200 will recognize themselves in the first one. So the first one is 87 00:05:41,230 --> 00:05:44,860 the rebel in the reefing system. It's someone who wants to make 88 00:05:44,860 --> 00:05:47,350 an impact on the world, but someone who wants to do 89 00:05:47,350 --> 00:05:50,290 something significant, they don't want to follow the status 90 00:05:50,290 --> 00:05:54,010 quo. In order to make that happen, they have to have the 91 00:05:54,010 --> 00:05:57,970 characteristic of having confidence. Now, when I talk 92 00:05:57,970 --> 00:06:00,880 about confidence, I'm not talking about standing in front 93 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:04,330 of the mirror and saying, I'm the best, I'm the greatest. This 94 00:06:04,330 --> 00:06:09,430 is not about ego. This is not even about affirmations. When I 95 00:06:09,430 --> 00:06:14,080 talk about confidence, I'm talking about capabilities plus 96 00:06:14,140 --> 00:06:18,970 competence, equal confidence. Confidence, is believing you're 97 00:06:18,970 --> 00:06:23,290 able, right, we believe we're able, but competence is knowing 98 00:06:23,290 --> 00:06:27,760 your angle. And that is a game changing. When you know you're 99 00:06:27,790 --> 00:06:33,730 able to do something you feel confident. But every leader, 100 00:06:33,730 --> 00:06:38,260 every person that isn't a rebel, who has confidence, there is 101 00:06:38,290 --> 00:06:42,190 what we call a gap. And the gap is of someone who feels like an 102 00:06:42,190 --> 00:06:46,210 imposter who has self doubt. It's the person that wants to do 103 00:06:46,210 --> 00:06:49,060 amazing things, who wants to take themselves to the next 104 00:06:49,060 --> 00:06:52,360 level. But there were six negative messages in their mind 105 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:56,350 that say, I don't deserve both. I'm not the smartest if they 106 00:06:56,350 --> 00:07:00,580 only knew, maybe I don't, you know, I want to do that. But I 107 00:07:00,580 --> 00:07:02,950 didn't know how to do that. And I'll never learn how to do that 108 00:07:02,950 --> 00:07:06,520 I'm too scared. It's often these little things that we say to 109 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:10,840 ourselves, that keeps us from standing in our greatness. And 110 00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:14,350 so when you find that this happens to us, we have the 111 00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:17,710 choice in the moment to say, Where do I stand in my 112 00:07:17,710 --> 00:07:21,550 greatness? Or will I allow my gaps to lead? And that's why 113 00:07:21,550 --> 00:07:24,850 this is so important to know this system, because it's a game 114 00:07:24,850 --> 00:07:28,570 changer. When in the moment, you can ask yourself the question, 115 00:07:28,900 --> 00:07:31,450 because sometimes if you lead from being an imposter and 116 00:07:31,450 --> 00:07:34,270 having self doubt, you don't do the things you want to do in 117 00:07:34,270 --> 00:07:37,810 life. It's the rebel that actually experiences the 118 00:07:37,810 --> 00:07:42,490 imposter. Now, this system created after coaching 1000s and 119 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:46,180 1000s of people every time I talked about confidence, this 120 00:07:46,180 --> 00:07:49,330 whole thing about self doubt and feeling like an imposter kept 121 00:07:49,330 --> 00:07:52,930 emerging and did happen with the same with all the other 122 00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:55,210 archetypes. Every time I mentioned a certain 123 00:07:55,210 --> 00:07:58,450 characteristic that they needed to be as great leaders, he would 124 00:07:58,450 --> 00:08:02,290 say what if only I didn't feel self doubt, if only I didn't 125 00:08:02,290 --> 00:08:05,830 have this gap that own and that's how the system emerged. 126 00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:09,010 It was from the feedback of those that I coached and those 127 00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:11,710 that I was working with, that they kept telling me about what 128 00:08:11,710 --> 00:08:15,010 they were struggling with. In my research, I have found that 129 00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:20,440 99.9% high achieving individuals suffer from the imposter 130 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:24,490 syndrome. So that's the are so what about the E. So the next 131 00:08:24,490 --> 00:08:27,670 one in the rethink is the Explorer. The Explorer is 132 00:08:27,670 --> 00:08:30,580 someone who wants to go into uncharted waters, who wants to 133 00:08:30,580 --> 00:08:34,120 do something different. But in order to be able to do that they 134 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:38,410 need to be fueled by intuition. Because intuition and science 135 00:08:38,410 --> 00:08:42,730 talks about allowing things to flow. In order to allow things 136 00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:46,030 to flow, you have to let go of something in order to let 137 00:08:46,030 --> 00:08:50,530 something new come in. But for every single explorer who uses 138 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:55,480 their intuition, there is a gap of the exploiter who manipulates 139 00:08:55,540 --> 00:08:58,750 and you might be sending Wally that's a very harsh shadow. 140 00:08:58,750 --> 00:09:02,470 That's very harsh GAAP, but I'd like to explain how it plays 141 00:09:02,470 --> 00:09:07,660 out. And see when you use your intuition, you let go of 142 00:09:07,660 --> 00:09:11,830 control. And people have a hard time letting go of control. If 143 00:09:11,830 --> 00:09:16,210 you need to control everything you need to have it your way and 144 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:20,470 only your way. You might not realize it but you might be 145 00:09:20,470 --> 00:09:24,670 exploiting people or weaknesses or just to get your way you 146 00:09:24,670 --> 00:09:28,060 might manipulate someone nobody wants to call themselves an 147 00:09:28,060 --> 00:09:31,300 exploiter or a manipulator. But if people are honest with 148 00:09:31,300 --> 00:09:35,110 themselves, when they need to have control, they might stand 149 00:09:35,110 --> 00:09:38,650 in this gap. And this gap can end up costing partnerships, 150 00:09:38,650 --> 00:09:42,040 relationships and business and especially leadership. So we 151 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:46,510 have to be very mindful to see can we learn to let go of 152 00:09:46,510 --> 00:09:50,980 control and allow ourselves to let things come in? Or do we 153 00:09:50,980 --> 00:09:54,070 need to control things and end up maybe sounding like an 154 00:09:54,070 --> 00:09:57,490 exploiter for manipulates so that's a very important 155 00:09:57,490 --> 00:10:01,930 archetype to be aware of. Be excited All leaders are ones 156 00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:05,500 that need to manipulate in order to get what they want. But the 157 00:10:05,530 --> 00:10:09,520 Explorer doesn't do that in order to get what they want. 158 00:10:09,940 --> 00:10:14,050 They let go of what they think they need to have, and allow 159 00:10:14,050 --> 00:10:17,320 what they want to come in. Let me just explain something about 160 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:21,130 intuition that I want to share. I have found over the years, 161 00:10:21,430 --> 00:10:24,610 that intuition I know people talk about intuition as being 162 00:10:24,610 --> 00:10:28,510 like a sixth sense, it's about your gut feeling. But what we 163 00:10:28,510 --> 00:10:32,830 found about intuition is is that in our brains, we have like 164 00:10:32,830 --> 00:10:36,460 chips in our brains, where we store nemaline, your own store 165 00:10:36,490 --> 00:10:42,730 experiences. And intuition means that all those chips are coming 166 00:10:42,730 --> 00:10:46,690 together when we need an answer. And then all the sudden, we're 167 00:10:46,690 --> 00:10:51,490 saying, Wow, that makes sense. And it's not because all of a 168 00:10:51,490 --> 00:10:54,610 sudden, we got it out of the thin air. No, it's all of the 169 00:10:54,610 --> 00:10:57,850 experiences and all the challenges and all the habits 170 00:10:57,850 --> 00:11:01,480 and all the actions that we've taken is in our mind, and when 171 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:05,110 we need an answer, the computer in our brain goes through all 172 00:11:05,110 --> 00:11:08,950 the chips and says do it this way. Anybody ever notices that? 173 00:11:08,950 --> 00:11:13,210 When you have intuition? It's usually five words or less, it 174 00:11:13,210 --> 00:11:19,240 sounds like follow it to it. Now, the moment you add, because 175 00:11:19,300 --> 00:11:23,260 or thick the word, it's not your intuition, it stops being 176 00:11:23,260 --> 00:11:26,890 intuition. So for me, I know when someone is really speaking 177 00:11:26,890 --> 00:11:29,860 from intuition is when it's short, a short sentence, and 178 00:11:29,860 --> 00:11:31,510 they don't use the word because. 179 00:11:32,350 --> 00:11:36,850 Host: If you realize that you are in need of too much control, 180 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:40,600 how do you get yourself to come to that place of letting go? 181 00:11:40,990 --> 00:11:43,630 Lolly Daskal: Great question. I love that question. The thing 182 00:11:43,630 --> 00:11:47,050 about it is, it's almost like when you have a bad habit, like 183 00:11:47,050 --> 00:11:50,530 how do you break a bad habit? Right, you have to introduce 184 00:11:50,530 --> 00:11:55,450 something new, that you normally wouldn't try. So for a leader, 185 00:11:55,810 --> 00:11:58,870 who's in needs control, I've seen this hundreds of times, 186 00:11:58,900 --> 00:12:02,800 I've seen this in organizations where a leader is always telling 187 00:12:02,830 --> 00:12:06,850 people what to do. My coaching is Have you tried maybe 188 00:12:06,910 --> 00:12:11,140 listening instead, where leader always thinks they know the 189 00:12:11,140 --> 00:12:14,710 answer. And they're always like, this is how it needs to be, I 190 00:12:14,710 --> 00:12:18,790 suggest to a leader, maybe saying out loud, I don't know, 191 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:24,610 can you teach me. So it's kind of opening up the path for 192 00:12:24,610 --> 00:12:28,240 trying something new, in order to see if you get the same 193 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:31,960 return, right? Because a leader that's always constantly when 194 00:12:32,020 --> 00:12:36,010 I've seen this exploiting and manipulating employees to numb 195 00:12:36,010 --> 00:12:39,700 out after a while, they stopped working as hard as they should. 196 00:12:39,940 --> 00:12:42,580 And they tune them out. And most likely, they're looking for 197 00:12:42,580 --> 00:12:45,640 other jobs. Because these days people don't you know, in my 198 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:49,450 days, people stay 25 years, 30 days in a job these days. If you 199 00:12:49,450 --> 00:12:51,790 have a boss, if you have a leader who's constantly 200 00:12:51,790 --> 00:12:56,050 manipulating and exploiting you, you're leaving that job. And so 201 00:12:56,170 --> 00:13:00,070 the greatest leaders, as I said earlier, have the ability to 202 00:13:00,070 --> 00:13:04,300 rethink right? To go into find out which kind of archetype they 203 00:13:04,300 --> 00:13:07,930 are. And they're open to learning and growing and 204 00:13:07,930 --> 00:13:11,980 changing. That's how you let go of control. nellen Say something 205 00:13:11,980 --> 00:13:16,180 not everybody wants to do that. The knee has to come within the 206 00:13:16,180 --> 00:13:20,530 leader, the leader has to be able to recognize that the need 207 00:13:20,530 --> 00:13:25,030 for control is not getting them the results that they want. And 208 00:13:25,030 --> 00:13:28,420 that's when a leader says can you tweak it? Can you change it? 209 00:13:28,420 --> 00:13:30,730 How can I leverage this? What do I need to do? 210 00:13:31,300 --> 00:13:33,970 Host: So basically, the leader has to take the first step of 211 00:13:33,970 --> 00:13:38,140 admitting, hey, there's a there's a shadow here or there's 212 00:13:38,140 --> 00:13:40,330 a darkness that I have to sort of work through? 213 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,510 Lolly Daskal: Or a leader will never say that out loud. A 214 00:13:43,510 --> 00:13:46,900 leader will say to me more. You know what, I'm not making the 215 00:13:46,900 --> 00:13:50,290 kind of revenue I want. Our business is losing money. Pete 216 00:13:50,290 --> 00:13:54,370 my best people are leaving the top performers are not staying. 217 00:13:54,670 --> 00:13:58,030 What's usually what a leader will come to me and say, it is 218 00:13:58,060 --> 00:14:02,110 only then then I asked them, What responsibility do you play 219 00:14:02,110 --> 00:14:06,010 in that? Most of them will say nothing, it's not my fault. And 220 00:14:06,010 --> 00:14:09,490 then I say leadership starts going work, boom, it starts with 221 00:14:09,490 --> 00:14:12,940 you, you need to set the example. Now let's find out are 222 00:14:12,940 --> 00:14:16,090 you standing in your greatness or your gaps in which one of 223 00:14:16,090 --> 00:14:20,140 these gaps is costing you in the kind of business that you really 224 00:14:20,140 --> 00:14:20,590 want? 225 00:14:21,190 --> 00:14:23,440 Host: Does every person have these gaps? 226 00:14:23,710 --> 00:14:26,470 Lolly Daskal: So we have all of these within us. These are the 227 00:14:26,470 --> 00:14:29,680 patterns that I've seen over three decades of working with 228 00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:33,100 leaders around the world. So we have all of them. Do we tend to 229 00:14:33,100 --> 00:14:38,560 lean towards one or another? We tend to but these archetypes are 230 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:43,060 not about like Myers Briggs or like Strength Finders or the 231 00:14:43,060 --> 00:14:47,770 discs. These archetypes are situational. So if you're having 232 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:52,030 a meeting with someone, the archetype of the truth teller, 233 00:14:52,390 --> 00:14:57,130 or the archetype of the deceiver, you know comes up and 234 00:14:57,130 --> 00:15:00,010 you could ask yourself, will I be the truth teller in this me 235 00:15:00,010 --> 00:15:02,860 Meanwhile, I tell them the whole truth that maybe things aren't 236 00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:07,240 going okay? Or will I tell them half lies, and they'll catch on 237 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:10,000 that part parts of me are deceiving them, which will 238 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:15,220 create suspicion. Or you could be in, you know, you could have 239 00:15:15,220 --> 00:15:18,190 a conversation with someone, and maybe you need to be the hero 240 00:15:18,310 --> 00:15:21,730 instead of the bystander. So they're more situational than 241 00:15:21,730 --> 00:15:25,030 they are, okay? I'm only one archetype. And that's, that's 242 00:15:25,030 --> 00:15:25,990 what I lean into. 243 00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:29,650 Host: So is that the, that's the third, the third archetype is 244 00:15:29,650 --> 00:15:30,520 the truth teller. 245 00:15:30,970 --> 00:15:33,010 Lolly Daskal: The third archetype is the truth teller. 246 00:15:33,220 --> 00:15:36,070 And I think for people that are running businesses and want to 247 00:15:36,070 --> 00:15:39,910 take themselves to the next level, is very important to tell 248 00:15:39,910 --> 00:15:42,730 the truth and to be a truth teller. I'm sure we have 249 00:15:42,730 --> 00:15:46,450 recognize the truth tellers in our lives, because it's almost 250 00:15:46,450 --> 00:15:49,270 like they have a duty to always tell us the truth. They always 251 00:15:49,270 --> 00:15:53,170 love to speak with candor. But as we know that a truth teller 252 00:15:53,170 --> 00:15:57,190 has a gap, when they're scared to tell you the truth. They tend 253 00:15:57,190 --> 00:16:00,430 to tell you hoc truths, and they become deceivers because they 254 00:16:00,430 --> 00:16:03,340 withholding information. And when people withhold 255 00:16:03,340 --> 00:16:06,700 information, people become very suspicious, they become very 256 00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:09,880 paranoid. We know that when you don't tell the whole truth, 257 00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:12,160 people are busy making up stories, oh, I know what's 258 00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:16,150 really going on. And then it gets out of control. So we have 259 00:16:16,150 --> 00:16:19,720 to be very mindful, are we going to tell people the whole truth 260 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,990 and tell them the bad news that we need to tell them and maybe 261 00:16:22,990 --> 00:16:26,020 ask them to be part of the solution, or will be end up 262 00:16:26,020 --> 00:16:29,500 deceiving them and maybe cause suspicion among our teams and 263 00:16:29,500 --> 00:16:32,530 our businesses? And it ends up costing us on what we really 264 00:16:32,530 --> 00:16:33,460 want to create. 265 00:16:33,940 --> 00:16:36,160 Host: Okay, so what's the H? 266 00:16:36,310 --> 00:16:40,810 Lolly Daskal: H is the hero. And I believe that within each of 267 00:16:40,810 --> 00:16:44,110 us, there is a hero, because what is the hero, the hero is 268 00:16:44,110 --> 00:16:47,800 someone who feels fearful, right? Who's scared, who's 269 00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:50,770 frightened, but they're courageous. Anyway, as we know, 270 00:16:50,770 --> 00:16:53,440 there's a great book that says, feel the fear and do it anyway. 271 00:16:53,590 --> 00:16:57,880 So that's the hero. But for every hero that exists, there is 272 00:16:57,880 --> 00:17:02,290 a gap. And the gap is of the bystander, who is fearful. When 273 00:17:02,290 --> 00:17:06,190 you're a bystander, you see something, but you do nothing. 274 00:17:06,220 --> 00:17:09,760 You hear something, and you say nothing. How many times in our 275 00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:13,420 lives? And have we been been standards? How many times in our 276 00:17:13,420 --> 00:17:16,570 lives? Could could we have said something or done something and 277 00:17:16,570 --> 00:17:21,010 we don't do it? So question that I asked everyone is then when 278 00:17:21,010 --> 00:17:24,400 they need to do the hero? Are they courageous? Or are they 279 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:27,850 allowing their fear to lead them? And then they end up being 280 00:17:27,850 --> 00:17:29,530 the bystander in their lives? 281 00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:32,500 Host: OK, so what's after hero? What's the I? 282 00:17:32,710 --> 00:17:35,830 Lolly Daskal: I is the Inventor. It's about their craft, how do 283 00:17:35,830 --> 00:17:39,370 they create the craft? What do they do with their craft? They 284 00:17:39,370 --> 00:17:43,360 do it with integrity, that means that everything that they do 285 00:17:43,450 --> 00:17:48,190 they do with excellence. That means that if you expect 286 00:17:48,190 --> 00:17:52,630 something from them, it's going to be quality, then inventor has 287 00:17:52,630 --> 00:17:57,100 a bar, and the gap is of a destroyer, who's corrupt? And 288 00:17:57,100 --> 00:17:59,740 you might be saying, Oh, that's very harsh. But I want to 289 00:17:59,740 --> 00:18:04,000 explain what I mean. But a mean by man, is it someone that says, 290 00:18:04,180 --> 00:18:08,710 let's do this faster? Let's do this cheaper, let's cut corners, 291 00:18:08,710 --> 00:18:13,540 nobody will ever know. And the truth is, it does come out, you 292 00:18:13,540 --> 00:18:16,750 end up paying a price, and we come across as a destroyer who 293 00:18:16,750 --> 00:18:20,860 is pull up. So you will always have a choice to ask yourself if 294 00:18:20,890 --> 00:18:25,150 I am going to do anything in the world. Will I do it from 295 00:18:25,150 --> 00:18:29,260 integrity? Or will I do it from the parts of being corrupt? Or 296 00:18:29,260 --> 00:18:33,370 will I do it on the parts of being a destroyer? And we don't 297 00:18:33,370 --> 00:18:36,370 want that. But when we are stressed out when we are 298 00:18:36,370 --> 00:18:40,090 challenged, we tend to live in our gaps. We want to just do 299 00:18:40,090 --> 00:18:44,620 things to get them done. People end up costing us in our success 300 00:18:44,620 --> 00:18:47,710 and in our greatness. It's very important to always be mindful 301 00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:51,490 at everything that you do to ask yourself the greatness or the 302 00:18:51,490 --> 00:18:52,030 gaps. 303 00:18:52,110 --> 00:18:55,063 Host: Well, that is five of them, my friends, which if you 304 00:18:55,119 --> 00:18:58,413 want the other two, the last two, you're gonna have to buy 305 00:18:58,470 --> 00:19:01,991 the book because we are out of time. The leadership gap is the 306 00:19:02,048 --> 00:19:05,512 name of the book. Lolly I do have one other question for you. 307 00:19:05,568 --> 00:19:08,805 Before we do that, where should people go if they want to 308 00:19:08,862 --> 00:19:10,680 connect with you and learn more? 309 00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:14,698 Lolly Daskal: So as of now, theleadershipgapbook.com And you 310 00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:18,935 can always find me at lollydaskal.com. And I really 311 00:19:19,017 --> 00:19:23,987 like to connect people so you can find me on Twitter at Lolly 312 00:19:24,069 --> 00:19:29,040 Daskal blocked me tweet me retweet me and I will do the same. 313 00:19:29,639 --> 00:19:32,639 Host: So my last thing for you Lolly is I mean you you 314 00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:34,829 literally write like 100 articles a month. You're reading 315 00:19:34,829 --> 00:19:38,819 a book a day you got this book coming out. If I'm listening for 316 00:19:38,819 --> 00:19:41,909 the first time, what is the first action that you would 317 00:19:41,909 --> 00:19:45,569 encourage people to take if they're realizing I haven't been 318 00:19:45,719 --> 00:19:47,819 leading from a place of greatness? 319 00:19:48,180 --> 00:19:51,385 Lolly Daskal: Well, the first thing I would like to share with 320 00:19:51,451 --> 00:19:55,257 people that if you are truly looking for the some of your 321 00:19:55,324 --> 00:19:58,996 greatness, stop asking ourselves, what do I want to do? 322 00:19:59,063 --> 00:20:02,869 And instead we should ask ourselves, who do I want to be? 323 00:20:02,936 --> 00:20:07,143 That's number one. Greatness is not only a destiny that is only 324 00:20:07,209 --> 00:20:10,815 granted for you, but it's a choice that's available to 325 00:20:10,882 --> 00:20:14,955 everyone. And this is what I need. A choice is action that we 326 00:20:15,022 --> 00:20:18,894 do. It's a decision that we make. And if we know greatness 327 00:20:18,961 --> 00:20:22,500 is within us, then in every given moment, when we are 328 00:20:22,567 --> 00:20:26,306 challenged, when we have difficulty when we have stress, 329 00:20:26,373 --> 00:20:30,713 or how we show up, we can always be mindful to ask ourselves, are 330 00:20:30,780 --> 00:20:34,920 we standing in our greatness? Or are we leading from our gaps? 331 00:20:35,550 --> 00:20:39,061 Host: Lolly, thank you for your continuous stream of inspiration 332 00:20:39,121 --> 00:20:42,814 and education and gosh, we just wish you the best of luck and 333 00:20:42,874 --> 00:20:45,720 good good things for you in the leadership gap. 334 00:20:48,270 --> 00:21:04,340 Lolly Daskal: Amen.