Welcome to the Taboo to Truth podcast.

Unapologetic conversations about sexuality in midlife.

I'm your hostess, Karen Bigman, certified life and menopause coach and sex educator.

Whether it's a dwindling libido, a dry vagina, a challenging erection, or the emotional ups and downs of midlife, we're here to talk about it all.

I'm going to bring the often quiet into the light to create a safe space where no question is too awkward or taboo.

Together, we're creating a community of support and education where you can learn, share and laugh about the intricate beauty of sex in midlife.

So grab your favorite drink and put me on speaker.

It's time we broke the silence.

This is a special announcement and a bonus episode.

I'm going to be moving the podcast to a Tuesday release from a Sunday release, continuing on a weekly basis.

This week you'll get a bonus episode since I'm going to release this one today and then another one, a full episode on Tuesday.

So for today, as a special gift, I'm giving you some quick tips for better solo sex dates.

So those are self pleasure moments or self pleasure days which are hugely important, especially if you're single.

However, if you are planning to be in a partner relationship or you're in a partnered relationship and you want to have better sex, having a great solo date is something you can use to then translate to a partnered relationship.

The first thing that is especially important for those of us who have a million things going on, which is most of us, you really can't enjoy, truly enjoy sex whether you're alone or with a partner when you got a lot going on.

So I would recommend finding a stress free place now.

I know, I know.

Very difficult to do.

It may be late at night when you're alone.

It may be just going to the bathroom when the kids are asleep or when everybody's doing something else.

Just finding some place to be alone.

If you live alone, then it's turning off all those external things like your phone, closing the windows, whatever it is that might distract you and really getting into a space that belongs to you and to your body.

I suggest putting on some lights or some candles, maybe some nice soft music.

Spotify has some sexy music playlists you can look for and really have a date with yourself.

With the lighting, you can change the light bulbs if you want.

Red, yellow and orange lights tend to be a little warmer and really get you in the mood.

You deserve some really hot sexy time.

Perhaps you want to add some new toys or some old toys, one or two or maybe three.

A lot of them might be a little tough, but maybe you can put one inside safely, a butt plug or some other kind of toy that you don't have to use your hands for.

Hey, there's no one around, so you can try whatever you want and no one will know about it but you.

And then I want you to really take your time.

Give yourself time to just sort of acclimate into the moment to feel the sensations around you.

Slow it down, wallow in the pleasure of it.

You don't need to rush to get to an orgasm.

Or if you do, you can just keep having more and more ladies.

You know, you can really do that multiple times.

For the gentleman in the room, it may be a little harder, but hey, probably easier for you to take your time to get there.

Try to feel the sensations in your body, everywhere in your body.

Touch yourself very gently or if you like strong touch, touch yourself more aggressively.

Connect with it.

Think you know, it's the idea of embodiment and being mindful and I know it's overused, but it's really, truly the way to experience really great sex.

If you're still finding you're getting really distracted, another option is to put on some oral erotica, put your AirPods in and download an erotic novel.

There's some websites where you can get some erotica.

You can listen to a book.

You can also, if you are more visual, would prefer to put on some ethical porn.

Put on something maybe that is romantic and slow that can kind of bring you into the experience.

And if that's overwhelming, then I would just go back to basically the music, lights and perhaps in the bathtub.

Really make it a really fantastic date with yourself.

You really deserve it.

Slow it down, bring in some toys, try a little erotica and have the best solo sex that you can.

I hope you enjoyed this quick bonus episode.

Full episode will come out on Tuesday this week.

I really look forward to enjoying the rest of this season and many more.

Thanks for joining me on the Taboo to Truth podcast where I'm spicing up midlife one episode at a time.

If you've been enjoying the sizzle, why not turn up the heat by giving me a scorching five star rating and leaving a steamy review?

It's the best way to help others discover pleasure in their sex life.

So don't be shy, show me some love and keep the midlife adventure alive.

And until next time, grab your favorite drink and put me on speaker.

It's time we broke the silence.