Hello, and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

your host Aurora, life coach and companion on this beautiful

journey called life. I hope you feel good. I hope you feel safe,

supported, loved, seen heard. If you don't feel good at the

moment, I hope that my episode here is going to bring you a lot

of value and empowerment inspiration. Please know that my

podcast is kind of organized as a build up. So if you're new to

this podcast, please subscribe and start out with season number

one. And you'll see over time that yeah, it is a beautiful

build up. I go pretty much into depth from the beginning. If

there's any episodes if there's any topics that are intriguing,

let me know and if there's any topics that you want me to talk

about in the future, also, let me know. Connect with me on

Facebook, Aurora Eggert or join the Aurora Eggert coaching page.

Alright, let's dive into today's topic. Are you abandoning

yourself? First off, what is abandonment? And how can you

abandon yourself? As you maybe know, or maybe you're new to my

podcast, I share my experiences, my thoughts, my feelings about

certain topics. And I would say that abandonment is when we

don't feel supported. We can be on our own by ourselves and

abandon ourselves. Or we can feel abandoned by other people.

In a group setting, we can also feel ostracized or excluded

there's not a feeling of belonging or feeling understood.

You feel led down you feel Yeah, full on unsupported. You feel

that alone, not only alone, but you feel lonely with how you

feel with what you sync with your values, your believes. You

feel people are not showing up for you. People don't put the

effort in to understand you. And it's a very uncomfortable place

to be in. Nobody wants to be sitting in that feeling for too

long. Now why would we abandon ourselves? How's that possible?

It is by our beliefs that we abandon ourselves. It is by

conclusions that we make about ourselves, that we brand and

ourselves. So for instance, if you're in a relationship, and

you have agreed to chat with your partner at a specific time,

and they don't show up. You start sinking thoughts. You

start feeling feelings about your partner not showing up. If

you've been traumatized in the past, you might feel re

traumatized. If you have made experiences that are similar to

the experience that you're going through right now, then you

might feel triggered. You might project your past into your

present into the future and you might distort the reality that

it's going on. So let's say your partner is not showing up

because they had car accident. But in the past you experienced

that somebody didn't show up because they decided to to spend

time with another person, or they simply forgot about you.

Now all this anxiety is going to come up and your chest and your

body and your mind and your head. And you're going to create

feelings, maybe even anxiety, there's going to be a build up

inside of you. And when you come, your partner comes home

later, you might lash out, or you might avoid them, whatever

your coping mechanism is. Your way of dealing with challenging

feelings. You're gonna react to the non showing up of your

partner. If you had really good experiences so far, and you

don't really put much importance and to if a person is showing up

or not, you will have a very different reaction. So the way

we self abandon in certain situations, is in thinking,

Yeah, well, we're not worth it anyways, yes, I'm not as

interesting as other people, anyways, or that person is too

cool, too interesting. Anyways, and they are out of my league,

so of course, they're gonna abandon me and not show up for

me. So just kind of a trauma reaction that you have just

conclusions that you make about yourself that have nothing to do

with reality, and even make your present situation worse. Let's

say you are in a relationship, and there is a fallout you guys

break up. Chances are that your conclusions about yourself are

going to be similar to the ones that you made in the past. And

you're going to kind of project the past onto the present and

say, Yeah, well, this happens to me all the time. Life is shitty,

I'm not worthy. I'm too complicated. And what it does,

really is that you put yourself into a victim mentality. You put

yourself in a place of disempowerment of unresolved

forcefulness. A position that is really had detrimental to your

self esteem. So it is not the outside world that is making you

feel this way. Because you could have very different reactions

and thoughts about a specific situation. It is the thoughts

and the conclusions that you make about yourself. When in a

situation like this, I want to go into way more depth in the

future because I feel a lot of people abandon themselves in

situations where if they would keep a clear mind, more rational

mind, a more neutral mind, they would serve their purpose or

themselves way better. And at the start is going to be very

weird and uncomfortable to kind of go against your old beliefs

and to neutralize your super emotional and dark conclusions

and thoughts and feelings that you have. But with time they're

going to become less powerful. And you will see that you can

reach a state of mind and emotion that is way better for

you. And the beautiful thing about this is that your

relationships to other people will change as well. And why is

that so important? It is so important because I believe that

relationships are life. We are in constant relationship with

our environment. And if we are healthy in our mind and our

heart we are in constant relationship with people. Of

course we're going to have a long time that is also very

healthy. But as a whole we're always in relationship with the

creatures the people around us. And the more clear we are about

who we are are,

the more clear we are about the Healthy conclusions we make

about ourselves in certain situations, the better we feel

about ourselves, the better decisions we're going to make

the better reactions, responses we're going to have to the

people around us. And it is very, very important. When you

are on a path of healing. When you are on a path of letting go

of all parents and belief systems, it's always important

to when you feel triggered, to question your belief that is

being triggered in the moment and to ask yourself, Is this

really true? Is it really true that you are unworthy? And that

people are going to mistreat you anyways? If yes, why? If no? How

can you start letting go of this belief? How can you replace it

by a more healthy set of beliefs? This is what I'm here

for you to become aware of. And I'm so excited to have more and

more people joining me and on a path on a coaching pass with me.

It is incredibly precious work. And yeah, just a path that I

chose for myself that is incredibly healing my enjoy

every client that I have and every baby steps that they make

in in their direction of healing and success. And yeah, maybe it

is something for you as well. And you can just reach out and

we jump on a free 60 minute call and see how I can help you.

Alright, if you don't mind, make the time and leave a review on

Apple podcast. It would mean the world to me. And otherwise take

really good care and I will be out there very soon again. Bye