Trish: [00:00:00] My name is Trish Ware and I am obsessed with all things pregnancy and birth and helping you to navigate with the practical and the magical seasons of this journey called motherhood. I'm an all day coffee sipping mama of seven. I've had the amazing privilege of delivering many babies. In my 15 plus year career as a labor and delivery nurse, and as a mama of seven, I'm here to help you take the guesswork out of childbirth so you can make the choices that are right for you and your baby.

Quick note, this podcast is for educational purposes only and does not replace your medical advice. Check out our full disclaimer at the bottom. of the show notes.

I am so excited. Seven weeks first baby. I am so glad you're here, Lima. 30 weeks. [00:01:00] Love it. I'm not an expecting mother.

However, I'm just educating myself before. Oh my gosh. We're gonna talk about that today. I love it. I love it. Love it. Tomorrow, 39 weeks. Due August 2nd. That's my daughter's birthday. First baby. 12 weeks, first baby. Six months pregnant. First baby. I love it. I love it so much. Okay, let me look over on YouTube, see if anybody's joining.

Hello, Sammy. 35 weeks baby number 2. Laura, 39 weeks with baby 4. Twin, C section, 10 years ago. Having a VBAC at home, I love it! Are you one of my VBAC students? I sure freaking hope

so.

I love it. Oh my gosh. Hi. Hello, everyone. Okay, you guys, we're going to get started. So I taught a workshop last night on my four tips as a long time, high risk labor and delivery nurse.

If you don't know who [00:02:00] I am, my name is Trish, or Labor Nurse Mama. But most people know me as Trish, not Labor Nurse Mama. I was a labor and delivery nurse for over 16 years, mostly a travel nurse traveling to all over the country to the high top, high risk facilities. And I also have had six births myself.

I have seven children. One is adopted, but today we're going to be talking. I took a little bit out of the class that I taught last night. It was the first time I taught that class. It was so fun. Powerful. And I was like, I need to teach this to my folks over on social media, because it is just invaluable.

And I'm going to tell you my three top top tips to have your very best birth. And if you hang out with me a lot, you probably know them in scattered ways, but I'm going to bring it together in a cohesive manner. And we're going to talk about the things you can control, and I'm going to bring it together in a cohesive manner.

And we're going to talk about the things you can control, These are the [00:03:00] most important things, and these are the things that make such a difference when you go into labor. These are the things I can't teach you at bedside. This is why you have to be prepared. And obviously, I have birth classes. I am 100 percent passionate about you guys being prepared.

Okay, you guys, so let's go ahead and talk. My goal for this live, for teaching you is I want you guys to understand what you can control. and gracefully let go of what you can't, because there's a lot of things you can't control. But the things I'm going to tell you today are the things that are going to help you have your very best birth.

Hi Jenny! Hi! Hello! Okay, so someone's asking me how she can go into labor and not get induced. Go into my DMs and chat with my team about my induction class. We have one that teaches you how to get labor started at home and also how to deal with a medical [00:04:00] induction, how to never navigate it. Okay, so if you guys are ready to take control, Of your own darn birth, type me to me in all caps.

Now if you're one of my students, you know that I like you to scream it at me. So all caps, type me. I want to see it coming in. I want to see all these me's, okay? Okay, so we're going to talk a little bit.

Yes, Meredith, good job. First one in 25 weeks with her second pregnancy. It'll be her first labor. Okay, you guys. So again, I've already told you who I am. My name is Trish, longtime labor and delivery nurse. You guys can find me on all the social accounts as labor. nurse. mama, or you can find me on my podcast, The Birth Experience with Labor Nurse Mama, which we have a new episode dropping every Friday morning.

All right, let's get going. Oh, we don't have a gift tonight, but I can give you a gift at the end if you want one. I, these are, some of these slides are [00:05:00] from my class last night. So this is me working away. I actually got to give my grandson his very first bath, which is amazing. We're going to skip past this.

I told you guys, I catered it. So what I'm going to tell you guys today is exactly why I created my common confident birth framework. Diana, I see you. I see the me. I see it, Laura. I love this because my entire birth program is based on this framework right here. And nothing works by itself. So you could have the best birth class in the world.

You could know all the things. But if you're up in your head telling yourself all the negative things and scaring yourself and you're anxious and you don't have control over your mindset, then the education won't make a difference. In, on the same handset, you've got your empowered decision making. If you're too scared to speak up and speak against or to agree or [00:06:00] disagree with your provider, then having all the knowledge, having the right mindset, none of that's gonna matter either.

Okay, so you have to have the combination. So that's what we're going to talk about today is that really magical combination, okay? So let's start with the first thing that you can control. The first thing we're going to talk about is the bottom section of my framework of this.

And this is One of the most important things we're going to start with what you tell yourself about your upcoming birth or about birth in general So for my mama who is not even pregnant yet. I want you to start Realizing that birth is a natural process. Now. This is coming from a high risk labor and delivery nurse The truth of the matter is birth is a natural process.

You only need me if something's not going

well Right.

which is why I love my job. I love being able to intervene and use my skills. But if you [00:07:00] don't need my skills, you don't need my skills, right? So start out everything you do by reminding yourself that birth is a natural process. And just like pregnancy, you didn't have to tell your body to start the baby's heart beating.

You didn't have to tell your body, okay, now it's time to make some fingers and toes. You didn't have to do all that because your body knows how to do it. And I want you to, in the core of your gut, remind yourself that your body knows how to birth. What happens is your thoughts appear and then all of our stupid policies and procedures get in the way of the natural process of birth.

I'm fired up today, you guys. Is that okay? Give me some emojis if that's okay. So let's talk about what you can do. That is powerful with your thoughts. Okay? What you tell yourself matters. There is a connection between your [00:08:00] thoughts and what you're telling yourself and how your birth plays out. There is a connection.

I've been teaching inside of Fearless Birth this week and I teach inside my classes that what happens up here in this brain, up in this thoughts and your thinking patterns, your feelings, What you tell yourself when you wake up in the morning or the middle of the night to go pee matters. It matters because it can affect your birth experience.

Our thoughts can directly be translated into actions. So you have a choice right now. Are your thoughts powerful and empowering and beautiful about birth or are they full of anxiety and negativity? Because that can manifest itself in your birth experience. Your mind and your body are connected. I want you guys to think about other circumstances.

Maybe after we get done journal. Like some situations where you were freaking out, [00:09:00] you had all these negative thoughts, and then the situation happened and that affected it. But on the other hand, what about times when you were ignorantly not realizing and you created a really good situation because you didn't get up in your head?

So I want you guys to 100 percent realize that what you tell yourself about your birth, what you tell yourself about contractions, what you tell yourself, if you're seeing things like, Oh my God, I'm not even going to know if labor starts. Yeah you might not. If you're telling yourself that, and on top of that, if you don't educate yourself, which we'll talk about in a moment, if you're constantly telling yourself, Oh my God, my birth is going to be so scary and so hard.

Guess what? You're going to enter it scared and think that it's horrible. On the flip side, if you start telling yourself that birth is beautiful and natural, and you're going to have a peaceful, wonderful, powerful, good, birth, the chances are much [00:10:00] higher that you will. What you tell yourself absolutely matters.

Your mind and your body connect. Your body will manifest what you tell it to do. So stop telling it that you're too much of a chicken. You can't handle pain. That the doctors won't listen to you. That why does it matter to have a birth plan? Why even prepare? Because I can't predict what will happen.

All of those things you have a choice on. You have a choice on whether or not you have a freaking amazing birth. And I'm not saying that it's a perfect birth. I'm not saying everything will go as planned. I'm not saying that you won't have things and challenges to deal with, but how you handle it mentally will completely.

affect how you look back on your birth and what you feel about your birth. And your birth, it happens one time. I don't care if you have 10 children. This birth right now, one shot, one chance. You give it your best. You invest in it to have your best birth. [00:11:00] What you tell yourself If you're freaking out and you're anxious, it impacts your pain perception and we're going to talk about that more in just a minute, right?

We're going to talk about your stress and hormone regulation too because that can make or break your birth. Okay slow. Let's get to the next slide. Come on. Here are some tools that I want you guys to think about, and we teach you guys, inside of my full birth class, we teach you guys over 50 labor coping tools, but our tools are infused into your pregnancy, into your sleep.

into your doctor's office, into your postpartum experience, not just your birth. That's what's different about my birth classes is that we start before you even get pregnant. If you want to join us while you're trying to conceive, we go through early pregnancy and we go through postpartum because it's one experience that's connected.

When you work [00:12:00] on mindset and you apply the tools we teach you, you have a reduced perception of pain. When you're anxious, when you're scared, your adrenaline goes up, your cortisol levels go up, and those suppress your oxytocin. That oxytocin not only makes your contractions go. It's also the love hormone.

It's also a calming hormone. It's the same hormone that happens during seggy time, right? It makes you feel loved and protected. And as long as you are educated and empowered, you have a plan, you have a partner that's on the same page as you, then you can bring that into the labor room, and your perception of the pain will be lower.

When you have the right mindset tools, you actually have the power to lower your stress levels. I know we like to tell ourself my life is just stressful. There's nothing I can do about it. I call BS. You can do something about it. You have a choice on what you're telling yourself and how you perceive a [00:13:00] situation.

So stop allowing the things that are out of your control to control the inside of your mind. You're building a human being. That's incredible. That's amazing. Those of you who implement mindset tools will have more effective coping skills, better birth outcomes, lower uses of interventions, you'll feel happier about your birth and you have a decreased chance of postpartum depression.

You have better chance of breastfeeding success and you just feel better all over. Those are huge reasons to invest in mindset tools. Wouldn't you say all of those? That's what we want. So this is one of my students, Emily, and I was sharing her story last night. I'm not going to go into detail, but she came to me with baby number one and she said, first time mom here and just want to share that I had a truly empowered, that word right there, empowered, unmedicated birth with my baby.

I got my dream birth and I plan on doing this with my future [00:14:00] births and pregnancies. It's about time I see Emily again, I think. Okay. Let's move on. Here's another thing that you can control. Knowing what you know. It's up to you how much you know about the birth experience, the birth process. It's up to you how much you know about interventions and appropriate use of them.

Because if your doctor comes in and wants to use a vacuum, you're going to say yes if you don't know the appropriate times and reasons, and if you don't know when to say no, you, we, I tell my girls, we don't refuse things just because we can. We know when to say yes and no. That's all based on your knowledge, on what you know.

So having knowledge, having a support person who is knowledgeable, Unlock some really magical things for your birth. So being educated, having a support person who's educated, your birth [00:15:00] coach, your mom, whoever's going to be in the room, a doula is even better. This gives you a more successful chance of an uneventful vaginal birth.

And you're less likely to have an assisted delivery. So what does that mean? That means episiotomy. That means vacuums, and forceps, and cesareans. You're less likely to need or want pain meds. Now, if your plan is Medicaid at birth, girl, I'm gonna support you on that. But, the longer you can stay at home, and if you don't even think you need them, then you don't need them yet.

And someone who's educated, who has the right mindset, is less likely to ask for an epidural at one centimeters the second she puts her foot in the labor room. than someone who has a good mindset, who's educated herself, who has a support team that's on board with her, and who is willing to speak up.

She's not going to need her epidural as soon. Now, will she still get it? Yeah, probably, because that's her plan. That's what she wants. You're going to be more [00:16:00] likely to be happy with your birth experience. You might even like it and love it. Your baby has better APGAR scores, which means they had a better birth experience too.

Birth can be hard on babies, you guys. And here's the other thing about knowledge. Insurance will most likely reimburse you for it. And we can show you how to do that if you decide to enroll with us. So that's come on, it's a no brainer. Seriously. So one of the ways that we support our students, which I don't talk about very much because I'm busy with it.

But one of the things that we have for our students, you have to be one of my students, have to take my class because it's so freaking cheap that we're not offering it to the public. It's only for our students. So if you join our student, our birth course, you can add on the labor bat signal. It's 49. It is a group chat.

on your phone on telegram with you three doulas and me so the four of us will walk [00:17:00] you through from 36 weeks pregnant to eight weeks postpartum we'll be there in your pocket at the doctor's office we'll be in your pocket when your mother in law is driving you nuts We'll be there when you're in labor.

3 a. m. It's touch and go, but two of my girls are up breastfeeding So it you may get support then as well And then we will support you and assist you throughout your postpartum journey as well This is something that no one else offers. It's 49. Come on It's ridiculous. And I put a QR code up at the top of the screen.

You can take a picture of it and join us when this is over. Don't miss this class either. Okay, so let's keep going. The last thing that I want you guys to understand, and this is your this is your, what is, what's the thing from Star Wars? I'm blanking. This is your that glowing sword. What is it called?

I'm having a mom brain moment. What is that thing? Your lightsaber, right? This is your weapon. This is your weapon, ladies. [00:18:00] Your voice matters. You have a right to speak up, but you're going to be scared to speak up if your mindset's not right and you're not knowledgeable. Period. You will be scared. That's why you have to take a birth class.

This is why you have to work on your mindset. Birth is 90 percent mental. But here's the thing, and why my framework for my birth classes is set up the way that it is. I can give you all the knowledge in the world. I can work on your mindset, but if you are too scared to say, no, that is not what I want, or yes, I would like to do this.

If you're too scared to tell your team what it is that you most desire. And if you're too scared to speak up for you, what you know to be truth or not necessary, then all of the knowledge and mindset is worthless. Period. Think about it. Knowledge is power, but only if you have the courage to, to use it.

This is why we do virtual hangouts every, we do it three times a [00:19:00] month with our students. And then if you're a member, as well as a student. You get it six times a month. We hang out with you guys on zoom and we empower you. We help you grab that inner birth queen and pull her out to the surface so that when you go into your birth, you are not thinking, Oh my God, I hope they don't do this.

And I hope to do that. You're like, hell no, they're not going to do that. Cause I know what they can do and they can't do. You have so many rights in the birth room. And most of the time when you spend time Speak up. Your doctor is going to come alongside you. Your labor nurse is going to come alongside you.

This is their job, you guys. So they're doing their thing, not thinking, Oh, maybe this isn't what Meredith wants. Or maybe this isn't what Veronica or Sammy wants. Or hey, I don't know. Maybe Tina doesn't want this. You have to speak up. and work with us. And I teach you how to fire your doctor and nurse if they don't go alongside you.

But most of them [00:20:00] are. Most of them want you to have the birth experience that you want. But you have to be willing to speak up. Here's the truth. You ready? Decisions will be made during your birth. If you wing it, If you do not take a class, you will not be the one making them. Because when I come into your room and I know all my stuff, and I'm like, let's do this and that and the other, you're going to be like, okay.

Cause you don't know any better. But if I come in the room, I'm like, Hey, I think we should do blah, blah, blah. And you're like, Oh, but can't we try blah, blah, blah. I'm going to be like, yeah, let's do that. Because the alternatives, the stuff. Most of my students, there are some commonalities among my students.

The majority of them get to the hospital at seven to eight centimeters. And then the other thing that's super common is that they tell me that the hospital staff wonders if they have a background in labor and delivery. Because they know as much as a 16 [00:21:00] year labor nurse, you're going to be able to navigate the decisions.

Because even though I think I am the best labor nurse there is, probably not, but I think so. Even though I think that if I'm in your birth, let's say I'm in Diana's birth and Diana is not educated. And the doctor comes in and is throwing out all these options, and then leaves, and Diana looks at me and says, Trish, what should I do?

I'm gonna tell Diana what I think she should do, but what if it's not in alignment with what Diana wants? So it's very important that you grab that voice, educate it, and speak up. You have every right to do

so.

I'm getting off on tangents, y'all.

If you don't know your options, you don't have any. Yes, your voice does matter the most though. You have to be rooted in knowledge.

You have to know your options. You have to incorporate your mindset strategies. You have to practice. We teach you breathing [00:22:00] techniques and movements. We teach you movements to use. We teach you so many things inside of my birth classes and how to create the perfect birth plan. You have to know when to say yes and when to say no. So this is another one of my sweet precious students. This is Annabel. She said, without this course, I would've experienced another birth with trauma and P-T-S-D-T-P-T-S-D, because choices were being.

for me. I wouldn't have been in charge of my birth, but because of this course, I had the unmedicated birth I have literally been dreaming of. I was in total control of my choices and felt educated enough to know I was making the right decisions. I'm extremely thankful for this course and the impact of Trish on my life.

On my second birth. If you're new here, you made a great choice by joining this course. Of course, you guys have not yet, but you should for sure. And she was, she took a calm, labor confident birth with her second [00:23:00] birth.

Okay, let's see. We're going to take charge, okay? We're going to take charge and we're going to now realize that this is my birth. It is your birth. You're in control. You're the birth queen. Period. Take charge.

Educate yourself. Invest in your birth. Fill up your tool bag. You need to know the breathing techniques, the movement, the mindset strategies. You need to understand the stages of labor. You need to know how to move during each stage of labor. You need to know what you know so you stay home longer so that you can make educated decisions.

Hi, Morgan. She's 35 weeks and two days. I love it. Okay, rally up your support team, your birth person. If you join my birth classes or whatever birth classes you take, they need to take them as well. Of course I want you to take mine. Okay, type this to [00:24:00] me now if you are ready to stop winging your birth and take charge.

I want to see you guys typing, I'm ready. Let me see it. Hello. Let me see them coming. Yes, right there. I love it. Morgan. Yes. I love it. Let me see. Taylor and Veronica. Oh, Taylor, I'm so glad you're with us, girl. Jenny said it's 100 percent worth it. So glad I purchased in 2022 and still have access now with my current pregnancy. We love it. Kelsey, 25 weeks pregnant.

Tomorrow join Trish program last night. Cannot wait. Yes. I love it so much you guys we are open for enrollment right now and You guys you need to join us period you need to join us

all right, you guys keep it coming. Okay, keep it coming and I want to see I want to see that you're going to take charge that you're an action taker Period. Okay, let's [00:25:00] keep going. Let me tell you about the classes real quick Let me tell you, so imagine this. You've taken my classes. This is one of my students, Liz.

She gave birth four weeks ago. You've taken one of my classes. This was her third baby, her second, er, second baby with me. Her first birth, she felt like it happened to her. It wasn't a terrible birth, but it wasn't what she wanted. Her second two births, she's had peace and calmness and tools. And you guys can watch her second birth story on my YouTube.

It's beautiful. Her name is Liz. Okay, you control your thoughts. You control your mindset. Education unlocks your best birth. Speak up and use your knowledge and power.

That's what we learned today, right? Okay, you guys, you have two choices right now. You have the choice of choosing. Continuing to search, watch lives like this on Instagram, or you can take [00:26:00] my 16 years of labor and delivery, my own six deliveries, my thousands of births, 10, 000s of students that I've educated, and let me hold your hand and help you prepare for your very best birth.

We have so many amazing things going on right now. And I'm going to just tell you guys about some of them.

I'm gonna show you guys what you're gonna get if you enroll in the classes alright, so you have your choices, right? You guys can continue to do what you're doing, or you can take my high risk labor and delivery experience and turn it into your best birth. So I want to invite you guys into Calm Labor Confident Birth or the VBAC Lab. We are open for enrollment for both of them right now.

And if you join, you're going to get nine modules in the course. You get lifetime access plus two bonus modules in the course. And then we have a bunch of freebies for you guys right now. You're going to get your complete birth toolkit. This is where you're going to have checklist. You're going to have an ebook.

You're going to have [00:27:00] printables for your labor room. all sorts of things. You're also going to get my birth coach class for free. If you join today, you're also going to get my newborn, my postpartum recovery roadmap class. If you join today for free, you're going to get the newborn academy, which is going to have you so prepared for this from bathing to feeding to sleeping to dealing with all the things that come with taking care of another person, which is fun.

You're also going to get 30 days free in My Mama Hive, which is Calm Mama Society. After 30 days, you can cancel, or you can cancel at any time. After 30 days, it's 19 a month and you have access to three doulas, to myself, to the most amazing group of women ever. We do expert workshops, we have over 70 recordings, and we have hangouts all throughout the month.

It's truly Beautiful. It's insane We have so much stuff.

And you're also going to get [00:28:00] my template which we hired an artist to do most of the art inside of this visual birth plan. It's amazing. And you can use it for all your babies. You're also going to get my birthing waves, guided meditations and prayers. So those of you who are of a Christian faith, I also have some prayers where I'm praying over your birth and your labor.

We have guided meditations for you. Maybe you heard something at the doctor you didn't want to hear. Maybe they're saying, big baby, we've got all sorts of meditations for you. We also have a 14 day guarantee on the birth course. So if it's not for you, we'll chat with you and give you your money back.

Okay.

I want to make sure that you have the most empowered birth. Ever. Okay, let me see if anyone has any questions and you guys can join by going to labornursemama. com forward slash calm c a l m or you can reply on instagram with the word class and you can join. We [00:29:00] love our students so much and they love us so you can reach out to any of my students that have commented and they'll tell you join.

I know they will. 100%. All right, you guys, I love y'all so much. I am so excited for your births. You are going to have the most amazing birth. Remember that birth is a natural process. Remember, join the classes and we're going to, yes, you can join at 36 weeks already. 100%. We have students who join us at eight weeks pregnant.

We have students that join us trying to conceive, and we have students that join us the night before they have their birth. You, it's never too late or too early. If you join, make sure you add the Labor Bat signal, and tell us that you're 36 weeks, and we'll get your group virtual support going right now.

It's 49, you guys, you can't beat it. Go to the, go to labor nurse mama. com forward slash calm, and you can read everything. everything [00:30:00] you need to know about the classes. And again, you have 14 days. The other really sweet thing is more than likely your insurance will reimburse you for the enrollment fee.

All right, you guys, have a fantastic day, and if you have any questions, shoot me a DM and my team will make sure that I get it.

Hey Mama, thank you for joining me on this episode all about birth empowerment. I hope you feel more empowered to take control of your birth experience now. Focus that mindset, get the knowledge, and have the courage to speak up. If you're ready to dive deeper and embrace a calm and confident birth, I have an offer just for you.

for my podcast listeners. Now we might not be in open enrollment right now, but if you join, you can use the code pod 50 and the link is in the show notes or go to labor nurse mama. com forward slash C a L M. And you're going to [00:31:00] gain access to my full birth course for a lifetime, plus some bonuses to support you on this journey.

Now, I hope you found this helpful. If you did subscribe, write a review and show up again next Friday. Bye for now.