I would tell my 12 year old self that as difficult as this is, and

for all the pain you're going through, that you will one day understand why.

You had to go through this and that you will find your knight in

shining armor and you will be loved.

You will find that love in your life that you've always been seeking

Ever wondered how some people managed to overcome seemingly

insurmountable challenges and not just survive but thrive.

Today we sit down with Marcy Hopkins, a woman whose life story is a

testament to the power of resilience and the importance of giving back.

Marcy is the Emmy award winning host of wake up with Marcy, a talk

show with a heart airing on CBS and streaming platforms where she shares

inspiring stories of transformation.

also a recovery expert, author of Chaos to Clarity, just finished

reading that, and a passionate advocate for survivors of abuse.

her own struggles with addiction to her tireless work supporting women

and children in need, journey is one of hope, Healing and ultimately

leadership before I get to Marcy.

Speaking of incredible journeys, I just want to remind our listeners.

We're about to embark on a milestone of our own.

This is episode as we're counting at two 98 of our show, and we are gearing up

for number 300, our 300th episode and beyond with some truly special guests.

Trust us.

You don't want to miss this.

You don't want to miss what we have in store.

So make sure you're following and subscribe wherever you listen or watch.

So you don't miss a single episode.

It's going to be really cool.

So Marcy, we're celebrating and you're getting close.

Welcome to seek, go create

That is so exciting, congratulations!

I'm number 298!

298. Yeah.

Have you ever been able to say that?

Woo hoo.

I'm number 298.

I have not, but I'll celebrate that today.

Good, good, good, good.

Well, let's, I think we should celebrate every day and 298

is something to celebrate.

Marcy, I'm very excited for this conversation.

I read your book, looked at some of your stuff.

It stretched me in some ways and, caused me to think about a lot of things.

And I think we're going to get into that and have some cool, cool conversations.

Before I do that though, my first.

call it an icebreaker question, but truthfully, it's too much

for an icebreaker question.

You've got a choice.

First question.

Would you rather answer, what do you do or who are you?

Pick it and start answering.

I'm gonna say, who am I?

Because that leads to what I do.

So, who am I is Someone that has overcome some difficulties in life.

Struggles from trauma and addiction.

And overcoming the pain and being a victim.

And today I am a survivor and a thriver, like you've said.

And I'm almost 10 years sober, and through this journey, I have actually discovered

who I am, what my joys are, what my passions are, what my purpose is, and

it was by these difficult times and this huge transformational shift for me that

I was able to go within and identify what it is that I was put on this earth to do.

And that was.

To be of service to others, to help others through difficult times, know

that they are worthy of a beautiful life, just as I have found, and

that your past does not define you.

We have multiple steps that we need to take in this life, and the first

is turning ourselves over to our higher power, which is what I did.

But today, because of this work, I am now doing that, helping others to live

a beautiful successful life through the platforms that I have created.

And that is Wake Up With Marci and my book and beyond.

Yeah, there's a word that just jumped in my head that I'm going to

kind of ask as a follow up and the word is peace Are you at peace I

sense that you are, but answer that.

and then if you're at peace now, can you go back a little bit and about

when you arrived at that place?

And I know it's part of your story here.

I don't know if I do want to dive into that, but me what it was like before then.

And then when it occurred.

I will tell you, I mean, I lived in utter chaos.

I mean, my book is chaos to clarity and my life was chaos.

I was raised in chaos.

I was raised in drama.

I was raised with yelling and, and, just dysfunction.

And that's all I knew.

My relationships were dysfunctional.

The way I managed my life was dysfunctional.

And even though I would always say that I wanted that to be different,

when that is all, you know, when you do have peace in any way, your skin

almost crawls and then you create the drama and, and the chaos for yourself.

It is once.

That I stopped putting when I stopped drinking and I put down the one

thing that I thought that was helping me, but was actually destroying me.

I was able to start the journey towards peace.

And as I started doing the work, meditating, My gratitude practice,

being very connected to God in a different way, I started to find peace.

I wasn't reacting to life anymore.

I became a good mother.

I was a good wife.

I am a good wife and a good mother.

I'm a good friend.

I'm a good leader and I'm all these things now because I did the work

and I have found peace within life, even during the difficult times

because I now know how to approach.

Difficult times now.

I look at them as a learning opportunity, even though they're hard to get through.

It doesn't destroy me like it used to.

And so to be in this place of peace and tranquility, which I do believe

that and part of that is, Being okay to be quiet and alone, it's a beautiful

place to be, and it continues to evolve and get more and more comfortable.

I think your husband's name is Ray.

Is that correct?

That's correct.

I got the impression and correct me if I'm wrong on this, that Ray

grew up in a different atmosphere

Very.

did

would, I'm going to use a few words and then you could describe it.

Okay.

One would say it was more peaceful, maybe a bit of a father's knows best.

didn't sound like he came from a broken home or any, any abuse that

was obvious or anything like that and probably quiet and things like that.

Would all that be accurate?

That would be.

my wife and I are similar,

Mm

grew up in a very challenging, chaotic would be a great word to use.

hmm.

And I grew up in a very, similar to Ray.

So Ray and I are alike, you and my wife are alike.

What are some things that you've learned

Mm

the contrast between those two

hmm.

the

Mm hmm.

I believe we've got two types of people listening in the people that grew up in

like you and my wife That want to learn how they might continue finding peace

and then the people like us that are attempting To have some compassion and

understanding And go I don't marcie.

I don't get it.

i'm trying to get it And there's a beautiful story in the book we

might get to later about how you and Ray came to some, I think it

was a real peak in your story, but just talk about the contrast that

Yeah.

seen

Yeah, it's hard.

I mean, I'll tell you the first years of our relationship were very,

very difficult because I reacted, I yelled, that's what I knew.

So if I had an emotion that didn't feel good, I would yell.

And for him, there was no yelling in the house.

His parents didn't fight in front of him.

He didn't understand that.

So he would be like, we must not be good for each other because we're yelling.

And that's not normal.

And I'm like, that's normal.

You just work it out or, you know, so I will say it did cause a lot of

problems in our relationship because we didn't know how to converse

productively and get through situations.

You know, I used to yell at him that You should understand, and you

should change for these reasons, and he would just shut down.

And, we never really learned or progressed through our difficult times.

And what I've learned today, because this is what I've, I've had to learn,

and he's had to learn on his side.

So I have learned how to now approach, a difficult conversation in a different way.

Whereas, it's not like, you, you, you, you, it's more, I have felt this

way, or I feel this way, when you have said this, or you've reacted

in this way, or you don't do this.

and so when I can start the conversation in a way that is not putting him

on the defense, then he is much more open to the conversation.

And he's also realized that communication is so important.

Like if we are having a difficult time, just shutting down is not helpful either.

So we have both come together.

And learned how to better communicate with one another.

As we've always heard, communication is key.

But communication is one of the hardest things to do in life.

We aren't really taught how to effectively communicate with other people.

And so, thankfully now there's a lot more conversation around that.

And once you get to a place where you are comfortable approaching those difficult

conversations and know how to approach those difficult situations, you can

get so much further in life and build.

Even though it's a difficult conversation, you actually grow through that.

What's fascinating.

I'm smiling and I'm not.

laughing at what you're saying, but I'm smiling about it.

And my wife and I, we, we, was this conversation we had, we'd

been married 36 years, I think.

Wow.

and I grew up in this very quiet and still, and I don't want to

say unemotional environment, but maybe that would be accurate.

yeah, I get that.

And my, and I remember like early in our marriage, I told my wife,

Gloria, I said, now, listen,

I heard a little bit of yelling, not relative to what, what I thought.

said, I would really prefer for us to not have yelling in the house.

If we need to communicate, let's sit down and talk.

I will tell you that it didn't, it didn't entirely work out that way.

Yeah.

anyway, there was one of the thing I want to, I want to mention a couple

of things about my wife's situation because I kept seeing glimpses.

Of her situation in reading through your story and you went through

some you detailed it greatly.

We don't have to go through all of it But when you were six years old,

there was a situation when you were 12 There was a situation and I I have I

may have mentioned this before on the podcast But if not, we we when we went

we digitized all of our photos and I was digitizing all these photos of my

wife and I noticed I mean, we didn't know each other then, but as a child,

when she hit eight years old, she had a smile on her face leading up to that.

But then after eight years old, she was very somber.

Yeah.

a smile that I saw, almost, I mean, we've even discussed it even through

to, much into her adult years.

That was the year that her brother died of leukemia, her

younger brother and her, her.

Family was already sort of falling apart, and that was probably

something that kind of, sped it along.

In your upbringing, and I know the situation with your mother, you detail

it greatly in the book, is that she went through a lot of challenges and issues.

And my wife's mother was very similar, very unstable, and have a

lot of identity and things like that.

Were there times that if I were to scanning the pictures of your childhood,

there would be smiles and all, and then at six or 12, all of a sudden somber,

or do you have any recollection of joy?

When you were growing up

So, after I was six, yes, I still had a lot of smiles.

I was a very, very joyful child.

All I wanted to do was give love.

All I wanted to receive was love.

for me to smile was just really part of my personality.

I will say after the abuse started at 12 from my stepfather, My smile changed.

My smile became more not the joyful, innocent young person.

It was more, maybe a little forced and maybe a little, sometimes

like a seductive kind of thing.

Because my view of love and, What men wanted and what people I felt

wanted from me was very skewed.

And so I smiled because there was the camera, but you really,

do see a difference in my smile.

Absolutely.

and so, one of the things that's interesting are the people that

you mentioned, one of the things that kind of grabbed me initially

is I think the first boyfriend that your mother had was named Tim.

So, like in the first few paragraphs of the book, you're, you're saying,

and Tim was this and I'm going, Hmm, little, that's my name too.

And then.

I gotta tell you slight chuckle and I'm not making light of the situation,

but to see the name Richard Dick in writing and to know that he was the

Dick dick.

Yeah, I

funny, but uh odd, um, one of the things that I kind of picked up

on a few themes in reading through the book and you talk about it some

and I just want to ask about it.

That is that are situations where people are victimized there's no doubt

that when an adult male does something sexual with a child, 12 year old that

there is an inappropriate situation there, but there's also situations

where We start owning the term victim and I think you use the word victim

hood And this is a difficult question for someone who hasn't experienced it.

So I hope it's appropriate.

But in looking back, is there anything that you advise?

Let me tell you one of the reasons for this questions too.

I've got a four year old and a two year old granddaughter.

I know they're going out in the world and, and I guess I'm just

wondering you could have told your 12 year old self or even your six

year old self something, what would you have said that might have helped?

The situation and, and if that's like a Tim, you don't understand type

question, you could tell me that, but

guess at that time when I was 12 years old and my mother married Richard, I

thought he was my knight in shining armor, that I was finally going to have a dad,

that I was going to have this beautiful life, right, with my mother finally.

And no matter what my mother ever did to me in my life, I loved

her with every essence of myself.

And I always wanted her to love me and be the mom I always wanted.

And so I thought Richard was going to be that answer for us.

So,

when that didn't happen, I continued to seek that.

So I guess that I would, I would tell my 12 year old self that

as difficult as this is, and

for all the pain you're going through, that you will one day understand why.

You had to go through this and that you will find your knight in

shining armor and you will be loved.

You will find that love in your life that you've always been seeking

and it seems that around that time you began seeking it in a lot of places

that you know, they were unhealthy.

Tell us a little bit about some, cause some, I believe, and you say

this, it was, obviously attractive and I'm guessing you were also

attractive then and you use that, but then also alcohol was introduced.

Talk about a little bit of both of that and what that did when

that identity was impacted.

And then you started looking to, bring peace in through some various avenues.

The reality is, is that you almost, you've become like a shell of yourself.

And like, for me, it became this idea that, well, all I have to offer is

what I have on the outside, so I need to make that perfect all of the time.

and I need to attract men.

I need to have a man in my life for me to have some sort of validation.

And if I look a certain way, and a man or a teenager, whatever, shows

me attention, and then also am sexual with them, that I will be loved.

It becomes very skewed as I said, like you want that fulfilling love,

but you don't really know what it looks like, what it feels like.

You have these protected barriers around you.

But the interesting thing is, is that in that time your exterior and how you

look on the outside and what you do with your body becomes your superpower.

So I use that for many years as that's my power and I will control

you by getting what I want.

Does that make sense?

and it works to a certain extent, correct?

you're empty.

And then, you know, when I was young, those younger years, I would

drink to actually do those things that were uncomfortable for me

with a boy, because it's not like I really wanted to.

I mean, I mean, I, I lost my virginity at 15 and I remember thinking that I had

to do that for that boy to like me more.

And it just became so crazy.

Like, I would be with someone, that's the, the unhealthy relationships that

I, that I had throughout my life.

Like it became a cycle.

So I would hook you, bring you in, we would form a relationship.

It was very dysfunctional.

I would be, I would try to change you.

and then I would become unhappy and unfulfilled and then I would go outside of

the relationship and find somebody else.

So that you couldn't hurt me.

I was going to hurt you first and then I would move on to another relationship.

So it was just never, it really was never peace.

You know, it was like fun and drinking and then it was volatile and fighting.

And then it was like going outside of the relationship and finding

someone else and starting all over.

it was exhausting.

To be honest.

and the alcohol, numbed you, it,

Mm hmm.

A hundred percent.

and numbed you almost at the same time

A hundred percent.

my wife's story.

that she perfection was also part of what she was achieving.

Mm hmm.

keep her parents together.

Yeah.

love from her mother and possibly acceptance from her father who

had abandoned or left them.

so what she did.

went a little bit different way, and she hated men, is what she said,

There's that, too.

which I will tell you, Marcy, made it pretty darn difficult when we bumped into

each other, and I was fairly schmitten,

Yeah.

of the first things out of her mouth was, I hate men.

I am just so egotistical and arrogant enough to say, Oh, Well,

this could be a bit of a challenge,

I

but

it's always driven by a challenge.

Believe me.

yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mm hmm.

so what it led to was this, if I did the math right, 20, 30 years.

Of alcohol abuse and

Yes.

and one of the things you said I do want to kind of layer this

in I think you brought this in towards the tail end of the book.

You said that your view of yourself had been Attractive or that you had

looks But that you didn't feel as if you were intelligent or smart

Yes.

were either one of those lies,

well, what's interesting is if you look back at my life, and in

work and all, I was always single.

I was always moving and moving up and people would seek me out and

put, to put me in higher positions.

So I guess I was doing something right.

I'm a very driven person, but as you said, that alcohol would numb me and it didn't

allow me to work at my full capacity.

And so a lot of times when I would drink, I think more of that feeling stupid was

I couldn't think very clearly I would say things that were very embarrassing.

So I was constantly in this cycle of shame about how I was feeling.

And so really it was.

Not trusting myself, not believing in myself.

and the only way that I felt comfortable is if I was having a glass of wine,

and so I think that I know now, I mean, I know I'm not stupid and I

know that I can do whatever I put my mind to, but at that time, I just was.

I was so broken inside and so the only thing I knew how to do

was, be loving to my children.

My children were everything to me.

and try to keep the facade up of everything looking perfect,

but all the while feeling that I was nothing but a failure.

What were the ages of your children when, I think is, I

think it was October of 2015.

We'll talk about that in just a little while, but what were their

ages when you had your moment?

Well, when I

9 and

started drinking, they were nine and 11.

those are some pretty impressionable ages.

Have you had any discussions with them about what it was like before

and then what it's been like after?

And what do you think the impact has been on that they've

kind of lived through journey?

Well, honestly, Tim, I was on that slippery slope of drinking.

But it wasn't like, I wasn't drinking to a blackout every night.

I wasn't, you know, it was just, and there's a lot of women out there,

a lot of men out there, I mean, you're at home and you're having

three, four drinks at a night, right?

And that, That becomes the norm and I couldn't go to a restaurant

if they didn't serve alcohol.

And so in my drinking elevated, when I got in front of the camera, I

started using it as liquid courage.

The worst part of that time was, you know, making difficult, negative,

difficult, disastrous decisions and things that I was doing.

And then also the, yelling and fighting that my husband and I were going through.

That was the most impactful traumatic thing for my son.

My daughter doesn't remember anything really, but my son, now that I know

my son as an adult, he's an extremely intelligent person, so he was taking

in even more than I even understood.

And so, he has had to deal with that.

I thought at that time it was about working on myself and working on

the relationship with my husband.

But the reality was my son was affected by what was going on.

And we gave them a lot of really wonderful years, but now I'm very open

with my book and my public speaking.

And so my son and I have had those conversations.

My daughter and I have had those conversations and what has helped

me be an even better parent.

When it comes to drinking now is that I educate my daughter You know, she's

exploring the drinking at 19 years old and I'm able to share with her you know how

it affects you the decisions the negative decisions that you can make how people

will take advantage of you and I You know, there's a lot of parents that out

there that just say No, you can't drink or they kind of perpetuate that drinking

for them you know, they're like feeding them the alcohol and they think it's fun

to party with their kids and you know, So it's it's just allowed me to be more

of a teacher in that area but I will say it also gives me a lot of fear because It

is very rampant in my family addiction, so it's scary to watch that, because

I'm not sure what the outcome's going to be, and I can't control that, right?

So, but I will tell you that we are working on the things that

are needed to be worked on.

For my son, he has his own, mental health struggles.

he has ADHD, he's twice exceptional, he's gone through some depression

and some of that is trauma based.

And so he's working on that right now.

We're working on that as a family.

I actually have come to believe, that it's very difficult for anyone

to go through life without something

Mm hmm.

to cause some issues.

our story is that we were living in resort community, golf courses, blah,

blah, blah, all leading up to 08.

And then five years later, and our kids were at, probably pushing

the ages that you're were yours were when you became sober.

huh.

we went through financial collapse.

That was just like, me waking up every morning and just saying,

okay, just keep punching me in the gut, punch me in the gut.

Because my identity was sort of tied up in I'm good at business.

I'm good at making money.

I'm good at bringing things in.

we're realizing now our children are in their thirties that, you know, there

was pretty, Big impact with trauma because they bring up trauma and you

know, sometimes people of my generation go trauma What are you talking about?

You

I know.

come

It's very different.

Uh, but it what it was I mean, you know We were in a six thousand square foot

home and then we were my wife and I were in a honda van and told the kids

There's no home to come come home to so,

Wow.

a lot of that's been restored but let's talk about Kind of the the road to

recovery because I think it's a learning and and I I want to layer this in this

your story is alcohol but Addictions and I and I know there's varying

degrees of the harm that addictions can have but we're in a society where

there's drugs My addiction more As a business person, there was never enough.

And I had a conversation on the podcast with someone who

had served time in prison.

And I said, how at 32, were you continuing doing the things you were doing?

As I was addicted to more, I said, that's my addiction too.

Yeah.

bit, it's a little bit more acceptable in our culture and society,

because sometimes it's applauded.

Yeah.

talk about what you've learned about addiction in general.

and then we're going to talk about some things as we wrap up

here with projects you've got in the book and things like that.

But just what have you learned about addiction in general

over the last 10 years,

Well, addiction generally is It's a coping or a masking of a deeper issue.

Something that you are, you know, trying to fill within yourself

because something else is lacking.

The other thing about addiction, whether it's food or, you know,

Workaholic, or working out too much, or being on the computer, or

social media, or drinking, or drugs.

It literally all stems from the same thing, and that is the dopamine

hit that we get within our brain.

And that's the feel good chemical within our brains, right?

So the more we do it, we feel good the first time, we feel good the second

time, we feel good the thousandth time, but then it doesn't feel good anymore.

It becomes too much.

Our bodies, our brains, literally have to rewire the way that we are feeling.

You know, transferring that dopamine within our brains.

And so that really is at the core.

It makes us feel good.

And so what do we want?

We want to feel good.

We want to be happy.

And it's easier to be happy if you're doing these other things.

Because to be fulfilled is work.

It is action.

And there are multiple things that you need to do to rewire the way that

you think, rewire the way that we were programmed from when we were raised,

rewire the way that we talk to ourselves, the way we think of ourselves, how we

energetically put ourselves out there towards the universe and the world.

And there's just so many things that we need to do and

this is something I've done.

So I know it works.

but addiction at the end of the day is really just masking a bigger problem.

I've always wondered.

And I actually was thinking through this as I was reading through your

book because part of your recovery process was going to AA I so appreciate

in your book, you in your words, walking through the 12 step process.

I want to tell you right up front how I appreciated that because

I knew of the 12 step process.

I've never had anyone walk through it kind of in, we'll call it layman's terms, you

Yeah.

big book or anything like that.

Yeah.

And it, at its foundation, it is a surrender to that higher power, which

I would word it as a minister and a follower of Jesus Christ as, and you've

said it similarly, letting Jesus come into your life and admitting that

there's something bigger than you.

How important is I mean, because I think what we begin doing, I would put

my business, you know, expertise air quotes for those that are not watching

this on the video higher than my relationship with my heavenly father

Oh, of course.

to me like your alcohol and things like that you elevated it we call it

idols, I guess in church world, but Aren't it doesn't it seem like most

of us are going through this life looking at putting many things Above

that relationship with, with God.

Yeah, yeah, listen, I was raised in church, but just life was so chaotic

that it didn't, it didn't stay with me.

I always believed in God.

I always loved God, and Jesus.

But when I got sober and there was a little church, most AA meetings are

held at a church, there was a little, church, Attached to the place that we

had the meeting and I would go into this little church, and I just started

slowly becoming more connected and grounded and quiet, and there was a lamb,

a little picture of a lamb, literally like this big, and it had a gold lamb

with a red felt back, and it was framed.

And I would just look at this lamb and I was just like,

Jesus saved me.

Jesus come into my heart.

And if you get, if I get through this, I will always follow you.

I will always, you will be my shepherd.

And it is, you know, in church, we're always taught.

He's just waiting for you to ask.

and when that happened, it really, there, there, and it wasn't just one

time, I mean, it was over and over.

And I started practicing every morning, praying to God and

there was, a YouTube video.

I mean, we're talking almost 10 years later, I still go to this

YouTube video connecting to God.

And it's not any specific religion or anything.

It's about truly, cause I think of God now, like we're raised to almost

think of like this man with, you know, silver hair and a silver beard in the

sky and he's bigger than all of us.

Right.

But it's just this divine energy of love and we're all connected by this love.

And that's.

So now I just feel that I envision that I, and then I see myself in Jesus's arms.

And it's just my connection today is so, so very, very different and it has

saved me and I do it every day because it is a practice to stay connected.

So as you're saying, Right, all these other things become more important

and we and and God or our divine or Universe, whatever because it's

down here, but we work every day.

We're not doing that practice every day So that's why you have to make that

practice every day and then the work you still can do the work But it's almost

more fulfilling and you're better at it When you have that connection and you make

God, Universe, the Divine, the priority.

Right.

that has changed, significantly for me.

And that's why today it is the number one practice for me.

Do you think you're almost 10 years sober?

Congratulations.

Do you think that there is any way you could have had one year to 10 years

sober without that spiritual foundation?

Not at all.

you've been around a number of people with AA.

Do you believe that that is the common thread?

When you work the program and you do the foundational steps, and that's

one of the reasons I shared, 'cause most people don't know, right?

They're outside and they don't really know what it is, but those steps.

No matter who you are, will benefit you in your life.

it helped me get sober, but what it really helped me to do was heal.

I had been through therapy.

I had been through all the things, right?

But when I started doing that work, it was completely different.

I mean, AA is really based, it's a spiritual based program.

So, that's why I shared that.

Well, one of the things that came to mind while I was reading through

your book, this, it's a little bit of a, we just talk spiritual now on it.

I believe we are spirit, soul, and body.

That's what we're made up of.

And one of the things that I thought of while reading through

this was, what is the physical?

Implications of someone who's drinking.

you use the term almost daily.

So I'm assuming you're drinking almost daily for that length of time.

I did the math.

I don't know if it was 30 years or 20 something years or something like that.

Can you, do you notice anything physically?

I believe that you can also be healed.

I believe that God can heal that and restore all that.

But do you notice anything that you tell yourself?

That's probably a repercussion from somewhat abusing myself

physically for a period of time.

Does that make sense?

For me, no.

I don't have any repercussions at this time from that.

Right.

At the time, I was very puffy and I couldn't sleep.

I was also going through perimenopause, which is another

huge factor I've realized.

post, my addiction and that, that in my forties, how

difficult that time was for me.

I also had a lot of burning in my stomach.

I'm sure that I was eating away the, you know, the lining of my stomach probably.

so there were a lot of issues there.

but I would say that I'm, I'm very healthy today.

one of the things I'm curious about is.

I know you've been through AA.

I know you've done through all that, but are there other

that one puts up?

I mean, let's, let's look at men that are addicted to porn.

One of the things that they will do is stay offline.

and, and, and I think in your book, you mentioned one point that was, you were

alone in the house and you had a brief fleeting thought of, of having a drink.

And so I was actually curious, was there still alcohol in the house?

what do you do when you go out with other people that may be drinking?

We actually, we have a, where we're at here in this resort,

we're having a happy hour tonight.

It's not totally dedicated to drinking, but there'll be probably a little

bit of wine and something like that.

Do you, you go to those things?

What, what would that look like for you now?

Well, today, sometimes I feel like I'm a bit of an anomaly because I don't

go to the 12 step program anymore.

And I have no problem with having alcohol around me at all.

There's alcohol in the house.

I go to functions all the time.

It does not bother me at all.

I would never, never, I mean, you can't say I won't ever,

but can't predict the future.

But what I have, I would never ever want to give up for any amount of

alcohol, but in the beginning when you're starting, just like anything,

when you're changing a bad habit or an addiction to something, there are

multiple things that you have to change.

There's many things that you learn within the meetings, that help you.

The first thing is, and this is with anything, you need to change

the people, places, and things, the things that trigger you to drink.

and yes, you need to take it all out of your house.

and you can't go to the same restaurants.

You can't necessarily hang around the same people because if you're drinking,

you're probably hanging around people that are drinking like you or more.

Or, you know, so you don't feel bad about yourself.

you do have to change.

and for instance, that, incident that you're talking

about that I shared in my book.

my husband traveled a lot and if you're alone, you can do anything, but who

knows, you're full of guilt over that.

And I didn't want to live with that anymore.

And so one of the things that I had learned was move

a muscle, change a thought.

You can only think about one thing at one time.

So I was laying on the couch, I was watching a movie.

And, I thought about, oh, if I had some wine right now, no one would know.

But I got up and I actually went and got the big book and I did something

else, you know, so, and that's with anything, you know, so if you're at

a party, make sure you drive your own car so you can leave, make yourself

useful, always make yourself useful.

That's a big thing.

Don't put yourself in a situation if you think that you're going to fail.

make sure you've eaten, make sure you drink, enough water.

So there's just all these things.

I mean, I could go down a million lists.

I've got a whole toolbox I've actually put together.

I have so many freebies that I have, but you know, that's a big one for me.

And, but there's many, many tools that you must implement in your

life to help you to be successful.

I, my favorite, let me just go ahead and say this were naps.

you promoted naps and you know, people that are achievement

oriented, we think naps are for losers or sissies or whatever word.

you know what?

I actually believe we're a fatigued society.

And when we're fatigued, we make poor choices.

I think being rested is very important now.

Now I'm in my sixties, so I've got different mindset about that.

Yeah.

used to think that way.

I used to be hustle, hustle, hustle.

And it sounds like you were in industries that were similar.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, so one of the things that we hear in our, in our current culture is the

need to be authentic and vulnerable and share and all of these things.

I don't think you're of my generation.

You're a generation behind me, but, it's one thing to go through

what you went through, Marcy.

another thing to all of a sudden say, I'm going to share it with the world.

Yeah.

What, what's up with that?

I mean, I mean, here I am, I'm on a podcast and I've shared my story.

I actually have in some of my quiet times with the Lord, I'll say, Lord, is this

something I just need to keep to myself or do I need to talk about it with Marcy so

that the world can hear it on YouTube and tell me a little bit about the process of

going from deal with it on my own, keep it quiet within the family, et cetera.

Or wake up with Marcy, write a book, talk about that.

Well, first of all, I'll say, if you stay isolated, quiet, and keep it in

your family, you're going to stay sick.

sharing your story is so, so important for your healing.

Doesn't need to be with the world, but it is so important to talk about things,

get perspectives from other people.

They allow you to, get advice and people out there that can help you

and you don't feel alone and you don't feel stuck and you don't feel like

you're the only one going through it.

so I think that that's really, really important.

It wasn't like I initially just started sharing with everyone.

I started healing and there were some things that I was going through and my

book has to clarity seeing the signs.

Seeing the signs and breaking the cycle.

So seeing the signs, I started seeing signs from the other side.

I started being guided.

As to what it is that I was meant to do.

And so sharing my story, writing a book, starting a TV show.

I mean, I can't even fathom that I've done all of these things,

but I was so guided to do them.

And when I listened and started pursuing those things, there were people

that were brought into my life that.

It helped me to move forward to make it possible.

And I just listened to my inner intuition.

We must listen to our intuition.

And I just knew that it was the right thing to do to help other

people, to not feel by themselves.

not feel alone.

And, and it was hard in the beginning.

Listen, I used to feel like, God, I'm going to be so judged

in my community, you know?

but I, I just, I've always asked God when I started this to that I'm your conduit.

But just please speak through me, and to help me make a difference.

I think there's so much power in that.

My story is similar.

When we went through all that we went through in my identity wrapped up

in, I'm a successful business person.

And then I started feeling this nudge to do a podcast wanted to interview

all these people and stuff like that.

the Lord.

Literally told me no You have to tell your story first and the first episode

is titled homeless and bankrupt our number one episode So we're close

to 300 now and I have a pretty about confidence and stuff like that But

you could hear my voice quivering

hmm,

to that where i'm like going I don't want to share this.

I don't and then so many people right away said Thank you for sharing that

because we went through similar things.

We did this and all of that.

How do you put part of what we've done here, Marcy, with this podcast

is we've tried to kind of bust up, paradigms about what success is.

hmm.

How were you defining success say pre 2015 and how are you

defining success right now?

Well, success was

by

getting validation from other people all the time.

I was a victim of wanting more also.

It was just no matter what I did, it never was enough.

And so I was always striving for more.

And I always needed someone to tell me how good I was doing, right?

Today, listen, I still can be a little insecure at times, right?

We're all human.

but what really defines success for me today is, If it is at the core,

if I am happy, if it feels good,

and it benefits me and my family, like if it's right, if it's right, if it

is at the expense of my family, my happiness, then it is not success.

Uh huh.

Uh

of goes back to, that childlike joy that we talked about earlier that I saw in

my wife and you said that you had it, it's like, it's hard to know it, but you

know, it, you know, it, and, and, you know, we've used the word peace also,

there's just this peace that happens.

And, I can.

Kind of tell, like I said, I had to do a little bit of research on you here over

the last few days, and I'm like going, this doesn't seem like someone spent 30

years, drinking almost every day that did all that you talked about doing That

was one of the fascinating things about the book to me how quickly it read.

And you were, it wasn't like you were matter of factly going through those

things, but you sort of were, you were just sort of like just putting it out

there and it just read very quickly.

And I actually believe it's, for anyone who's probably going through

some type of struggle, I think it would be a blessing to them.

Marcy, for people that want more of you, tell us now where they could find.

I've got, it's on my Kindle here.

huh.

but tell us where they can find you.

You've got a show.

I think that's out there I found it on youtube this morning.

I'm pointing to my tv for people wondering.

TV here in the rv us where people can find you We'll put it down in the

notes and then I got one more question I want to ask you before we wrap up

Well, everything is on wakeupwithmarci.

com and I will tell you my new guided mission in life.

I have retired the talk show.

I haven't retired from doing a talk show, but I have retired the show on WLNY TV.

I shot my last episode last week.

And I moved to Florida, to be a snowbird until May.

And, I'm extremely happy.

And what I'm doing now is I am launching my show.

I'm continuing with the name Wake Up With Marci because I've had

the branding for seven years.

I'm just changing look and it's going to be more geared as a podcast

because you can reach people globally.

You can deep dive into conversations where you can't do that on a TV show.

You've got like seven, eight minutes or four minutes.

It's just very, very tight.

And so my dream has to always been to really fully connect with somebody.

And share their stories to create change and you can't do that when

you have a TV show necessarily.

So, I've launched, launching my podcast, March 1st, Wake Up With

Marci, A Deep Dive Into Self Discovery.

And, and I'm partnering with USA Today, the, the media, um, conglom, conglomerate.

Did I say the word right?

the big company the media big company.

We'll call it

Company, we'll keep it small.

but there, I've had this opportunity to partner with them.

So I'm going to have also, some of my show that will be on USA Today.

So I'm just very excited about that.

And so hopefully Your listeners, will maybe find some joy and

peace and change within that.

So,

That's exciting.

Boy, this would have been a great conversation too, is you have probably

seen such a change in the world of media

Oh,

television and things like that.

love pivot or the adjustment that you're making, because when I even saw it, that

you had like a local type show that was picked up and broadcast different places.

I was thinking in my mind, I said, you know what?

I haven't seen that in a while.

yeah.

the podcast world, so, you know, people are doing this and they've got YouTube.

And I believe that that is going to go extremely, extremely well for you.

And we'll look forward to seeing and hearing some more information from that.

And, if we can help you with any part of it, just let me know.

Marcy, I had a final question.

I'm going to call an audible.

I'm going to ask you to do something, I believe that there are people out

there that might be going through some type of an addiction and this

conversation may have helped them realize it and, you know, it could be alcohol,

drug, could be any number of things.

going to ask you to, I hate to limit 30 seconds or something, just look in the

camera speaking in the microphone and.

Encourage them, tell them something.

I don't know what it would be.

We'll kind of let the Lord maybe guide you here, if someone is struggling

with things like maybe you were 2015, would you want to tell that person?

I've been there.

I've been where you are right now.

And it is a very scary time.

You feel very alone.

You feel that there's no answer.

There's no light at the end of the tunnel.

But I will tell you that you're not alone.

There's so much help and there's so much beauty through recovery and you are meant

to live an incredibly beautiful life and that your past does not define you.

And you are worthy.

You are worthy of happiness and that addiction does not have to keep you stuck.

It is possible to move forward.

I promise you that.

Thank you for that, Marcy.

I'm glad I did something different there.

What an incredible conversation with Marcy Hopkins.

Make sure you get a copy of going to try to hold it up here.

Chaos to clarity is on my Kindle.

So it probably doesn't look as good as the actual cover.

and I want to remind people, check everything out down in the links below.

Get ready, because like we mentioned earlier, our next few episodes are

going to be epic celebrating 300 super big and all we've got two of our

most popular guests from five years ago when we got started coming back.

Silicon Valley veteran and original Netflix startup six member Jim cook

and businesses mission evangelist Mike bear They're gonna be our guest and

there'll be one more guest that I will tell you It's probably the biggest

guest we've ever had on the show.

I'm not gonna tell you just yet, but They'll be sharing insights

on the past five years and also predictions for the next five.

So make sure you subscribe.

Don't miss these anniversary episodes.

Go check out everything Marcy talked about.

Look for her new podcast, wake up with Marcy that's coming out.

She said March 1st, depending on when you're listening to this.

Until next time, continue being all that you were created to be.