1 00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:08,360 Peter came to Jesus and asked, lord, how often should I forgive 2 00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:10,080 someone who sins against me? 3 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:11,280 Seven times? 4 00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:18,560 No, not seven, Jesus replied, but 70 times seven. 5 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:24,080 Therefore, the kingdom of heaven can be compared to a king 6 00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:27,520 who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants 7 00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:29,200 who had borrowed money from him. 8 00:00:30,270 --> 00:00:34,750 In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him 9 00:00:35,390 --> 00:00:37,070 millions of dollars. 10 00:00:37,790 --> 00:00:44,470 He couldn't pay, so his master ordered that he be sold, along with 11 00:00:44,470 --> 00:00:49,470 his wife, his children, and everything he owned to pay the debt. 12 00:00:50,990 --> 00:00:55,070 But the man fell down before his master and begged him, please 13 00:00:55,070 --> 00:00:58,110 be patient with me and I will pay it all. 14 00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:03,460 Then his master was filled with pity for him and he released 15 00:01:03,460 --> 00:01:06,140 him and forgave his debt. 16 00:01:08,220 --> 00:01:13,260 But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant 17 00:01:13,260 --> 00:01:15,820 who owed him a few thousand dollars. 18 00:01:16,620 --> 00:01:20,780 He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment. 19 00:01:21,740 --> 00:01:25,380 His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little 20 00:01:25,380 --> 00:01:26,060 more time. 21 00:01:26,630 --> 00:01:29,430 Be patient with me and I will pay it, he pleaded. 22 00:01:30,230 --> 00:01:32,230 But his creditor wouldn't wait. 23 00:01:32,790 --> 00:01:37,870 He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could 24 00:01:37,870 --> 00:01:39,190 be paid in full. 25 00:01:41,430 --> 00:01:45,350 When some of the other servants saw this, they were very 26 00:01:45,350 --> 00:01:45,990 upset. 27 00:01:46,870 --> 00:01:49,750 They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. 28 00:01:50,710 --> 00:01:58,170 Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, you 29 00:01:58,170 --> 00:02:04,170 evil servant, I forgave you that tremendous debt because you 30 00:02:04,170 --> 00:02:05,250 pleaded with me. 31 00:02:06,050 --> 00:02:09,970 Shouldn't you have mercy on your fellow servant just as I had 32 00:02:09,970 --> 00:02:10,850 mercy on you? 33 00:02:12,210 --> 00:02:18,310 Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until 34 00:02:18,310 --> 00:02:21,470 he had paid his entire debt. 35 00:02:25,230 --> 00:02:32,030 That's what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive 36 00:02:32,190 --> 00:02:35,550 your brothers and sisters from your heart. 37 00:02:39,390 --> 00:02:40,750 Jesus told stories. 38 00:02:41,390 --> 00:02:46,190 Jesus told stories to help us understand how different the kingdom 39 00:02:46,190 --> 00:02:49,950 of God is from the world we live in and the world we know. 40 00:02:51,470 --> 00:02:55,310 Not to see the world through sin's distorted eyes, which is what 41 00:02:55,310 --> 00:02:58,670 we're trained to do, but instead see it through the eyes of 42 00:02:58,670 --> 00:02:59,070 God. 43 00:03:00,190 --> 00:03:06,590 How God designed us to live and to relate and to flourish and 44 00:03:06,590 --> 00:03:07,070 to love. 45 00:03:08,750 --> 00:03:14,000 So Jesus told stories that mostly began with the phrase, the 46 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,920 kingdom of heaven is like or the kingdom of God is like. 47 00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:22,040 He used them interchangeably to try to explain this world of the 48 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:26,160 kingdom, which is completely upside down from the world we live 49 00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:27,320 in and the world we understand. 50 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:32,920 Not just a little different, like the difference between turmoil 51 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:34,360 and peace. 52 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:40,290 A vast turmoil, total difference, upside down from what 53 00:03:40,290 --> 00:03:41,730 we think the world is about. 54 00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:44,210 And it's a process to get there. 55 00:03:44,210 --> 00:03:48,490 And that's what we're working on this year is this process of understanding 56 00:03:48,490 --> 00:03:52,170 These parables that open the kingdom of God's understanding to 57 00:03:52,170 --> 00:03:52,330 us. 58 00:03:52,330 --> 00:03:56,610 And so it's a day by day thing, day by day to see him more 59 00:03:56,610 --> 00:04:01,010 clearly, love him more dearly, and follow him more nearly. 60 00:04:01,010 --> 00:04:04,390 And I pray that that's what God's doing in your life during these 61 00:04:04,390 --> 00:04:07,590 messages and during this time of the chapel. 62 00:04:08,390 --> 00:04:12,990 Well, today we're going to look at a parable called the Unforgiving 63 00:04:12,990 --> 00:04:13,590 Servant. 64 00:04:14,950 --> 00:04:19,670 It's a parable about freedom of forgiveness. 65 00:04:21,750 --> 00:04:24,630 Jesus knew we would struggle with forgiveness. 66 00:04:25,030 --> 00:04:28,990 He knew that would be a really, really hard thing for us 67 00:04:28,990 --> 00:04:32,140 to deal with because forgiveness is hard to do. 68 00:04:33,100 --> 00:04:34,300 We feel justified. 69 00:04:34,380 --> 00:04:39,260 First of all, somebody hurts us and you've been hurt, and your 70 00:04:39,260 --> 00:04:43,860 initial response is to lash back and to give them back what they 71 00:04:43,860 --> 00:04:50,220 gave you, because that's what our sin nature tells us to do. 72 00:04:50,860 --> 00:04:53,820 They hurt me and they deserve to be hurt. 73 00:04:53,900 --> 00:04:57,500 And they deserve to be hurt just as much as they hurt me. 74 00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:00,600 And we can feel real justified in that. 75 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:03,480 And it's also the world's standards. 76 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:07,800 The world applauds people who fight back, don't they? 77 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:10,600 Those are the people we lift up. 78 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:12,200 He's a fighter. 79 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,520 He's not going to take that from anybody. 80 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:17,080 He's going to stand up for his rights. 81 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:24,120 Well, the kingdom of God is so different, so completely different 82 00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:29,020 from, from that, that Jesus knew we would struggle with forgiveness. 83 00:05:29,340 --> 00:05:33,540 Because the kingdom of God is to develop the fruits of the Spirit 84 00:05:33,540 --> 00:05:34,300 in our life. 85 00:05:35,020 --> 00:05:37,740 And in Galatians, we have those fruits of the Spirit. 86 00:05:38,060 --> 00:05:39,180 You probably know them. 87 00:05:39,180 --> 00:05:48,380 Love and joy and peace and patience and kindness and goodness 88 00:05:48,380 --> 00:05:53,140 and faithfulness and gentleness and self control. 89 00:05:53,700 --> 00:05:58,020 That's how you know you're living in the spirit of God's kingdom, 90 00:05:58,100 --> 00:06:01,300 is when those fruits grow in your life. 91 00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:08,180 Well, without forgiveness, those fruits can never take root, 92 00:06:09,140 --> 00:06:09,540 ever. 93 00:06:10,580 --> 00:06:15,580 Forgiveness is the beginning of the planting of those fruits in 94 00:06:15,580 --> 00:06:16,180 our lives. 95 00:06:16,830 --> 00:06:19,550 So Jesus knew we'd have trouble with forgiveness. 96 00:06:19,870 --> 00:06:22,950 Jesus knew we would struggle with it and it would be difficult 97 00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:25,230 for us, and that's why he told this story. 98 00:06:25,710 --> 00:06:30,750 So you had it read to you this morning beautifully about a king 99 00:06:31,070 --> 00:06:33,470 who had to settle up his accounts with his servants. 100 00:06:33,630 --> 00:06:35,830 Now, in those days, it was common to keep a tab. 101 00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:37,790 People didn't walk around with money all the time. 102 00:06:37,790 --> 00:06:39,150 They sure didn't have credit cards. 103 00:06:39,150 --> 00:06:40,510 They didn't pay as they went. 104 00:06:40,670 --> 00:06:43,440 They would keep a tab where with the people they owed. 105 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:48,120 And so it would have been a very common story that this servant 106 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:50,560 owed the king a certain amount of money. 107 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:55,120 This amount of money that Jesus said, we don't understand it 108 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:59,920 in their dollars, but in today's dollars it was about $2 million. 109 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:07,080 A servant who was a very low paid person had very little owed 110 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:08,730 $2 million. 111 00:07:09,290 --> 00:07:14,730 And the king said, well, sell all you have, sell your kids, sell 112 00:07:14,730 --> 00:07:19,530 your wife, sell whatever you have to because you owe me this debt. 113 00:07:21,290 --> 00:07:25,250 And the story that Jesus told said that the servant got down on 114 00:07:25,250 --> 00:07:28,210 his knees and he begged for patience. 115 00:07:28,210 --> 00:07:29,370 He begged for time. 116 00:07:29,530 --> 00:07:33,990 He begged for somehow over some period of time, we will you 117 00:07:33,990 --> 00:07:35,150 let me pay this off? 118 00:07:36,350 --> 00:07:40,470 And the story says in the king's compassion, he forgave the 119 00:07:40,470 --> 00:07:43,710 entire debt 100%. 120 00:07:44,350 --> 00:07:47,630 Didn't say pay part of it, didn't put him on a payment plan, 121 00:07:47,870 --> 00:07:51,230 just said, it's all forgiven, it's all gone, it's zero. 122 00:07:53,150 --> 00:07:55,230 Well the servant of course was thrilled. 123 00:07:55,950 --> 00:08:00,110 And the servant left there and went out and found somebody else 124 00:08:00,580 --> 00:08:01,620 who owed him money. 125 00:08:02,180 --> 00:08:04,900 And in today's dollars it was probably a few thousand dollars. 126 00:08:06,420 --> 00:08:08,740 Well the guy said, I can't pay it. 127 00:08:08,820 --> 00:08:10,660 I'm sorry, I can't pay it. 128 00:08:11,300 --> 00:08:14,780 And the servant who had just been forgiven grabbed him by the 129 00:08:14,780 --> 00:08:19,020 throat and shook him and demanded he get the money and said, 130 00:08:19,020 --> 00:08:21,980 if you can't pay, I'm going to throw you into debtors prison and 131 00:08:21,980 --> 00:08:24,260 you can stay there until the debt's paid in full. 132 00:08:26,910 --> 00:08:28,750 So that's the context Jesus told. 133 00:08:30,350 --> 00:08:31,390 It goes like this. 134 00:08:32,030 --> 00:08:35,110 When some of the other servants saw this, they were very 135 00:08:35,110 --> 00:08:35,550 upset. 136 00:08:35,550 --> 00:08:38,150 They went to the king and told him everything that happened. 137 00:08:38,150 --> 00:08:42,470 And the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, you evil 138 00:08:42,470 --> 00:08:46,990 servant, how I forgave you that tremendous debt because you 139 00:08:46,990 --> 00:08:47,950 pleaded with me. 140 00:08:48,190 --> 00:08:52,550 Shouldn't you have mercy on your fellow servant just as I had 141 00:08:52,550 --> 00:08:53,710 mercy on you? 142 00:08:55,010 --> 00:08:59,690 Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until 143 00:08:59,690 --> 00:09:02,610 he had paid his entire debt. 144 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:10,930 That is what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse 145 00:09:10,930 --> 00:09:16,130 to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart. 146 00:09:18,370 --> 00:09:24,870 In the kingdom of God, there are consequences for not forgiving. 147 00:09:26,870 --> 00:09:27,750 Not forgiving. 148 00:09:28,310 --> 00:09:33,110 If you refuse to forgive others, you will not be forgiven. 149 00:09:33,510 --> 00:09:35,590 Jesus is very clear about that. 150 00:09:38,630 --> 00:09:42,070 We must learn how to forgive. 151 00:09:42,630 --> 00:09:45,750 And Jesus doubled down the stakes here. 152 00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:49,160 He didn't say just forgive, he said forgive from your heart. 153 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:50,600 That means you got to believe it. 154 00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:52,160 You got to not just say the words. 155 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:54,920 You got to go through the motions and still hold the grudge. 156 00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:58,640 No, you've really got to believe it from the heart. 157 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,040 The parable is very clear. 158 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:04,040 The king is God who's totally forgiven us. 159 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,560 We are the servants who've been forgiven. 160 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:11,320 Our sins have been taken away because of Christ's. 161 00:10:11,650 --> 00:10:12,850 What Christ did for us. 162 00:10:13,970 --> 00:10:19,490 And we must forgive others because we have been forgiven. 163 00:10:20,770 --> 00:10:24,050 Well, there are three reasons why forgiveness is vital. 164 00:10:24,450 --> 00:10:25,490 The first is this. 165 00:10:26,770 --> 00:10:29,250 Forgiveness is God's priority. 166 00:10:30,210 --> 00:10:31,570 It's God's priority. 167 00:10:32,610 --> 00:10:37,570 The gospel or the good news, or the way of salvation, however 168 00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:39,730 you want to describe it, is this. 169 00:10:40,350 --> 00:10:45,950 That there is a holy God, absolutely pure, completely sinless, 170 00:10:46,670 --> 00:10:50,270 never a bad thought, never a bad action, never a bad anything 171 00:10:50,510 --> 00:10:51,950 in his being. 172 00:10:52,030 --> 00:10:56,750 He is pure in every single way of righteousness. 173 00:10:58,110 --> 00:11:04,830 And here we are, people of sin, people who do sin, people who 174 00:11:05,150 --> 00:11:08,910 have corrupted God's plan because of sin in our lives. 175 00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:15,530 And we can't be put together with a pure holy God without contaminating 176 00:11:15,530 --> 00:11:16,050 God. 177 00:11:16,690 --> 00:11:17,810 Think of it this way. 178 00:11:18,050 --> 00:11:24,970 If I had a big jug of pure water, and this was a jug, she could 179 00:11:24,970 --> 00:11:27,490 see through it, okay, pure water, half full. 180 00:11:28,850 --> 00:11:33,970 And I take another jug over here of water from the Pearl River. 181 00:11:35,260 --> 00:11:35,980 Pretty brown. 182 00:11:36,140 --> 00:11:37,340 I wouldn't swim in it. 183 00:11:37,420 --> 00:11:38,300 Some people do. 184 00:11:39,660 --> 00:11:40,380 Half full. 185 00:11:42,780 --> 00:11:48,380 If I take this jug and pour it into this jug, you can't drink that 186 00:11:48,380 --> 00:11:48,780 jug. 187 00:11:50,300 --> 00:11:55,380 If I take this jug and pour it into this jug, you still can't drink 188 00:11:55,380 --> 00:11:55,980 that jug. 189 00:11:57,740 --> 00:12:03,270 You see, a pure God cannot be in the presence of sin. 190 00:12:04,950 --> 00:12:06,550 And so God had a solution. 191 00:12:07,110 --> 00:12:13,630 He sent his son, his only son, to die on a cross as a sacrifice 192 00:12:13,630 --> 00:12:19,030 for our sins so that justice could be paid for the sins. 193 00:12:19,750 --> 00:12:25,590 And then through Christ's work, we could be redeemed. 194 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:31,920 And you see, that's how important forgiveness is to God. 195 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:39,360 It's that important to God that we be forgiven. 196 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:43,840 That he would send his only son to die for our sins. 197 00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:47,920 Because forgiveness is vital and essential. 198 00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:50,720 It's a priority of God's. 199 00:12:52,890 --> 00:12:56,650 When God forgives, he forgives completely. 200 00:12:57,290 --> 00:12:58,090 Completely. 201 00:12:59,050 --> 00:13:01,130 There's no deficiency in his forgiveness. 202 00:13:01,130 --> 00:13:01,610 It's not. 203 00:13:01,610 --> 00:13:04,810 He forgives everything except that one thing you did, or he forgives 204 00:13:04,810 --> 00:13:05,450 most of it. 205 00:13:07,050 --> 00:13:08,730 But there's a little bit he doesn't forgive. 206 00:13:08,810 --> 00:13:11,450 No, he forgives it completely. 207 00:13:12,730 --> 00:13:16,010 I think a lot of Christians think it's kind of an 80, 20 deal. 208 00:13:16,250 --> 00:13:19,600 Okay, God forgives me 80%, but 20%? 209 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:23,600 I've got to work my way back to God's presence from that. 210 00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:27,040 I've got to prove myself back to him. 211 00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:30,080 No, it doesn't work that way. 212 00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:33,120 God forgives completely. 213 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:39,200 And so the obedience that comes as we grow in Christ is not 214 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:41,440 out of trying to earn his forgiveness. 215 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:43,760 The obedience comes out of love. 216 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:46,120 Because we love him. 217 00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:49,960 We want to live and follow his way to Live. 218 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:54,200 And obedience comes out of living how he designed us to live. 219 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:57,680 Because when we live in ways that run counter to how he designed 220 00:13:57,680 --> 00:14:03,160 us, life just doesn't work and you get messed up and bad stuff happens. 221 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:09,720 But when you live in the way that he wants, because we love him, 222 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:14,280 then obedience becomes a central part of our life. 223 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:16,280 Not so we will be forgiven. 224 00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:21,240 But to forgive others is part of that obedience. 225 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:26,280 The only way we can forgive others is to learn to forgive ourselves. 226 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:28,760 It's not an 8020 deal. 227 00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:31,600 It's not that God forgives most and not a little bit. 228 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,480 No, for God forgives all. 229 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:37,860 And so when we sin, we also need to forgive ourselves. 230 00:14:37,860 --> 00:14:39,260 And that's not easy to do. 231 00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:44,220 And sometimes we don't forgive others because we can't forgive ourselves 232 00:14:44,700 --> 00:14:45,900 for our own sins. 233 00:14:47,260 --> 00:14:53,220 But with God, forgiveness is his priority and that's why it's 234 00:14:53,220 --> 00:14:53,740 essential. 235 00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:57,660 Secondly, forgiveness is required. 236 00:14:59,260 --> 00:15:04,150 It's a requirement that Jesus says, if you don't forgive, you won't 237 00:15:04,150 --> 00:15:04,790 be forgiven. 238 00:15:06,950 --> 00:15:11,910 It's as simple as that, you know, because it's this way. 239 00:15:11,990 --> 00:15:17,030 If we don't forgive, we're saying, well, God, let's say somebody 240 00:15:17,030 --> 00:15:17,910 hurt me, okay? 241 00:15:17,910 --> 00:15:19,350 And I don't want to forgive them. 242 00:15:19,830 --> 00:15:23,190 That's saying, God, I don't need you in that part of my life. 243 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:24,870 I'll take care of this. 244 00:15:25,430 --> 00:15:27,110 I'll take care of the justice. 245 00:15:27,620 --> 00:15:29,060 I'll take care of handling this. 246 00:15:29,060 --> 00:15:31,060 God, you don't need to be in any part of it. 247 00:15:31,060 --> 00:15:32,020 You just don't watch. 248 00:15:32,260 --> 00:15:34,660 It's going to be bad, but I'm going to get them even. 249 00:15:37,780 --> 00:15:42,980 We are operating in a way that excludes God from our sections of 250 00:15:42,980 --> 00:15:45,940 our lives when we do not forgive. 251 00:15:47,860 --> 00:15:52,260 Beyond that, forgiveness is a requirement of our happiness and 252 00:15:52,260 --> 00:15:52,900 fulfillment. 253 00:15:53,780 --> 00:15:59,340 If we don't forgive, we live with turmoil and resentment and we 254 00:15:59,340 --> 00:16:04,220 start to wall off parts of the world because we're shell shocked 255 00:16:04,220 --> 00:16:09,580 from being hurt and we don't trust and we become bitter and we 256 00:16:09,580 --> 00:16:11,860 become really, really, really selfish. 257 00:16:13,780 --> 00:16:17,140 We miss the best of what God has for us. 258 00:16:17,220 --> 00:16:19,860 We miss the purpose for which he created us. 259 00:16:19,860 --> 00:16:21,600 We miss when we don't forgive. 260 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:24,880 It's absolutely that vital. 261 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,400 And Jesus knew that. 262 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:30,720 And that's why he said forgiveness is not optional. 263 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:34,080 It is absolutely required. 264 00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:40,560 Third reason forgiveness is vital is forgiveness brings freedom. 265 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:47,210 It frees us from the hurt the that somebody brought into our lives. 266 00:16:47,530 --> 00:16:49,090 It frees us from the pain. 267 00:16:49,090 --> 00:16:53,610 It frees us from the anger that can absolutely consume us. 268 00:16:55,210 --> 00:16:58,490 It frees us from holding grudges and building resentment. 269 00:16:59,770 --> 00:17:04,250 There are people who walk around all the time resentful of 270 00:17:04,250 --> 00:17:06,890 others, and they're consumed by. 271 00:17:08,570 --> 00:17:09,690 Frees us from that. 272 00:17:09,930 --> 00:17:11,610 It frees us from revenge. 273 00:17:12,430 --> 00:17:13,790 It frees us from fear. 274 00:17:14,590 --> 00:17:19,630 It frees us from our lack of focus and our purpose. 275 00:17:20,110 --> 00:17:22,790 When you can't forgive somebody and you're torn up with 276 00:17:22,790 --> 00:17:25,670 all this stuff, you're not focused on what God's called you 277 00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:26,110 to do. 278 00:17:26,190 --> 00:17:34,830 You're focused on that not forgiving will suffocate you. 279 00:17:36,270 --> 00:17:37,870 It will suffocate you. 280 00:17:38,570 --> 00:17:40,970 It may take some time, but it will. 281 00:17:42,890 --> 00:17:45,450 Forgiveness brings freedom from that. 282 00:17:47,290 --> 00:17:48,890 But forgiveness is not easy. 283 00:17:49,770 --> 00:17:54,009 And there really kind of stages forgiveness, okay, it's not 284 00:17:54,009 --> 00:17:55,290 like somebody hurt me. 285 00:17:57,850 --> 00:18:00,570 Say somebody did something horrible to me. 286 00:18:01,690 --> 00:18:05,340 And, well, okay, you did that all good. 287 00:18:05,340 --> 00:18:06,180 You're forgiven. 288 00:18:06,260 --> 00:18:07,660 It's like it never happened. 289 00:18:07,660 --> 00:18:08,420 Let's go on. 290 00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:09,500 It doesn't work that way. 291 00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:10,340 I wish it could. 292 00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:11,540 It doesn't work that way. 293 00:18:13,380 --> 00:18:18,180 Forgiveness is stages of process that we need to learn to 294 00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:19,220 develop in our lives. 295 00:18:20,420 --> 00:18:24,180 First step is forgiveness as obedience. 296 00:18:25,220 --> 00:18:26,900 Forgiveness as obedience. 297 00:18:27,220 --> 00:18:31,390 I don't want to forgive that person who hurt me so badly, but 298 00:18:31,390 --> 00:18:38,270 I do forgive them because I love God, and God wants me to forgive 299 00:18:38,270 --> 00:18:38,550 them. 300 00:18:38,790 --> 00:18:39,910 And so I'll do it. 301 00:18:41,030 --> 00:18:42,470 It's kind of like two kids. 302 00:18:43,830 --> 00:18:48,630 Imagine you got a couple of kids, they come home from school. 303 00:18:48,870 --> 00:18:54,070 One got a big cake that they won in a contest, okay. 304 00:18:55,990 --> 00:19:00,650 And the other child, sitting there looking at the brother's cake. 305 00:19:02,330 --> 00:19:05,530 And mom says, you need to share that with your brother. 306 00:19:06,650 --> 00:19:07,530 I don't want to. 307 00:19:07,530 --> 00:19:08,330 I want it. 308 00:19:08,650 --> 00:19:09,370 It's mine. 309 00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:12,730 You need to share it with your brother. 310 00:19:14,410 --> 00:19:15,770 And it begins to melt. 311 00:19:16,090 --> 00:19:17,290 And why does he share? 312 00:19:17,770 --> 00:19:19,450 Not because he wants to. 313 00:19:19,930 --> 00:19:23,660 He shares because he loves his mother, and his mother asked him 314 00:19:23,660 --> 00:19:23,940 to. 315 00:19:24,900 --> 00:19:30,460 Because we love God, we forgive even whom we don't want to 316 00:19:30,460 --> 00:19:31,060 forgive. 317 00:19:31,780 --> 00:19:33,860 And we don't feel like forgiving. 318 00:19:35,380 --> 00:19:40,260 We do it out of obedience because we love him. 319 00:19:41,620 --> 00:19:44,180 And that's the beginning point of forgiveness. 320 00:19:45,540 --> 00:19:50,380 Next kind of step in forgiveness or phase of forgiveness 321 00:19:50,380 --> 00:19:50,590 is. 322 00:19:50,820 --> 00:19:52,180 Is forgiveness is release. 323 00:19:53,700 --> 00:19:55,060 Release of letting go. 324 00:19:56,340 --> 00:19:58,180 It's not about denying the hurt. 325 00:19:58,180 --> 00:19:59,460 No, the hurt is there. 326 00:20:00,660 --> 00:20:07,940 It's not about denying that, but it's about refusing to seek payback. 327 00:20:09,940 --> 00:20:14,300 Some people carry their whole lives, this weight of a desire for 328 00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:17,540 payback from everybody who's ever hurt them. 329 00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:24,860 They just build up the backpack of weight on weight on weight 330 00:20:25,740 --> 00:20:29,660 because they've been hurt, and they just want to hit back. 331 00:20:32,460 --> 00:20:38,220 Forgiveness releases the weight, drops it dead, put it down, 332 00:20:39,260 --> 00:20:45,090 give the burden to God, hand it over to him, and that can be hard 333 00:20:45,090 --> 00:20:48,370 to do when you've been hurt and emotionally, it's hard and it's 334 00:20:48,370 --> 00:20:51,490 really painful, and maybe there are lots of consequences in 335 00:20:51,490 --> 00:20:52,810 your life because of it. 336 00:20:53,050 --> 00:20:55,610 It's really hard to let it go. 337 00:20:58,250 --> 00:21:01,690 And sometimes in my life, when I've had something I really can't 338 00:21:01,690 --> 00:21:05,530 let go, and I pray and I ask God to do it, I physically do this. 339 00:21:06,970 --> 00:21:09,290 I say, lord, I can't hold it any longer. 340 00:21:11,540 --> 00:21:16,580 I put it in your hands, and I physically turn my hands over and 341 00:21:16,740 --> 00:21:18,100 let it go. 342 00:21:19,700 --> 00:21:22,540 I might have to do that several times before I really let 343 00:21:22,540 --> 00:21:23,060 it go. 344 00:21:23,940 --> 00:21:26,740 But you got to let it go. 345 00:21:28,980 --> 00:21:32,020 Romans 12 says, Never take revenge. 346 00:21:33,540 --> 00:21:34,620 Never take revenge. 347 00:21:34,620 --> 00:21:39,230 But then it goes on to quote Deuteronomy, where God says, I, I 348 00:21:39,230 --> 00:21:40,630 will take revenge. 349 00:21:41,190 --> 00:21:46,710 I will pay them back, and God will bring justice. 350 00:21:46,710 --> 00:21:48,630 He is a God of justice. 351 00:21:49,270 --> 00:21:54,310 And people who hurt you, unless they are forgiven, will pay 352 00:21:54,310 --> 00:22:01,430 the price eventually, in God's time, release and let it go. 353 00:22:02,390 --> 00:22:07,680 Forgiveness is also healing. 354 00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:10,560 It's a stage of healing. 355 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:14,400 When we get to this point of forgiveness where forgiveness moves 356 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:19,640 from the head to the heart, I can intellectually decide I'm going 357 00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:20,400 to forgive. 358 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:24,440 But that's different from really feeling it, really absorbing 359 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:26,880 it into who I am and letting it go. 360 00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:30,040 And the only way you can do that is not through your own power 361 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:34,020 and your own strength, but the Holy Spirit working in you and to 362 00:22:34,020 --> 00:22:34,700 let it go. 363 00:22:36,860 --> 00:22:40,140 And maybe your prayer is, lord, I am willing. 364 00:22:42,700 --> 00:22:46,700 I'm willing, but I don't want to forgive them. 365 00:22:48,460 --> 00:22:50,060 I don't want to, but I'm willing. 366 00:22:50,780 --> 00:22:53,500 You know, there's nothing wrong with that prayer, because that's 367 00:22:53,500 --> 00:22:55,500 a starting point, and that's okay. 368 00:22:57,020 --> 00:22:58,140 You have to be willing. 369 00:22:59,500 --> 00:23:02,460 Because until you are willing, the healing won't begin. 370 00:23:02,860 --> 00:23:04,620 And it doesn't come from the heart. 371 00:23:04,860 --> 00:23:06,460 It only comes from the head. 372 00:23:07,900 --> 00:23:11,820 Kind of the fourth stage of forgiveness that I see is reconciliation. 373 00:23:12,620 --> 00:23:14,380 Reconciliation with God. 374 00:23:16,060 --> 00:23:19,620 God, I am forgiving that person who hurt me so badly because 375 00:23:19,620 --> 00:23:21,420 I love you that much. 376 00:23:22,300 --> 00:23:23,420 Reconciliation. 377 00:23:23,500 --> 00:23:25,820 And I'm not going to wall that off and do it on my own. 378 00:23:26,190 --> 00:23:27,630 Reconciliation with others. 379 00:23:27,710 --> 00:23:30,990 And often you can get reconciliation with people who've 380 00:23:30,990 --> 00:23:31,550 hurt you. 381 00:23:33,390 --> 00:23:36,910 Not always, but sometimes. 382 00:23:36,990 --> 00:23:37,790 A lot of times. 383 00:23:38,990 --> 00:23:41,630 I don't know if any of you know my brother or my sister. 384 00:23:41,950 --> 00:23:45,550 My brother writes a lot of books on marriage and family, and 385 00:23:47,070 --> 00:23:51,470 his wife, Leslie Les, and Leslie Parrott, his wife, writes 386 00:23:51,470 --> 00:23:51,630 with. 387 00:23:51,630 --> 00:23:56,560 In fact, yesterday, Justin Bieber put in his Twitter feed something 388 00:23:56,560 --> 00:24:00,200 about one of Les books, and the sales went boom like that overnight. 389 00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:10,400 It's kind of interesting, but Leslie says her favorite verse and 390 00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:12,880 I love this is from Romans. 391 00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:20,090 It says, if it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live with 392 00:24:20,090 --> 00:24:21,930 peace with everyone. 393 00:24:23,770 --> 00:24:30,290 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace 394 00:24:30,290 --> 00:24:30,810 with everyone. 395 00:24:32,010 --> 00:24:33,850 Reconciliation takes two people. 396 00:24:34,570 --> 00:24:37,530 You can't reconcile if somebody else doesn't want to reconcile. 397 00:24:38,170 --> 00:24:45,450 And it may not be possible, but if it's possible, reconciliation 398 00:24:45,900 --> 00:24:49,980 does bring healing and forgiveness, but it may not be possible. 399 00:24:50,380 --> 00:24:52,460 And if it's not, that's okay. 400 00:24:53,740 --> 00:24:58,620 Well, the fifth stage of forgiveness is forgiveness is Christlike 401 00:24:58,620 --> 00:24:58,940 love. 402 00:24:59,900 --> 00:25:01,980 This is the highest stage of forgiveness. 403 00:25:02,940 --> 00:25:08,140 I would call it Christ level love, not just Christlike Christ 404 00:25:08,380 --> 00:25:09,060 level love. 405 00:25:09,060 --> 00:25:14,050 Jesus said, love your enemies, pray for those who persecute you. 406 00:25:15,890 --> 00:25:17,410 You and I can't do that. 407 00:25:17,810 --> 00:25:18,690 We cannot. 408 00:25:19,730 --> 00:25:25,490 Only through the power of God can we pray for those people and 409 00:25:25,490 --> 00:25:28,210 love the people who hurt us the most. 410 00:25:28,210 --> 00:25:32,210 It's the ultimate letting go to bless your enemies. 411 00:25:33,010 --> 00:25:35,410 Some people call it a radical act of grace. 412 00:25:35,650 --> 00:25:36,370 And it is. 413 00:25:38,220 --> 00:25:43,500 As we move through these levels of forgiveness, we find freedom. 414 00:25:43,660 --> 00:25:48,020 At whatever level you start with and how far you can go, you 415 00:25:48,020 --> 00:25:51,500 find forgiveness brings freedom. 416 00:25:53,020 --> 00:25:57,340 Forgiveness is releasing someone from the debt they owe you 417 00:25:58,460 --> 00:26:04,120 because God released you from the debt you owe him. 418 00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:08,200 Forgiveness is not pretending it didn't happen. 419 00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:15,240 No, it did happen, and it was wrong and it wasn't justified. 420 00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:20,200 Forgiveness is not excusing the wrong saying, well, they didn't 421 00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:22,960 really mean it, you know, kind of justify it and put it away like 422 00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:23,960 they've probably done. 423 00:26:24,120 --> 00:26:25,000 It's not that. 424 00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:27,280 It's not necessarily trusting. 425 00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:29,020 Again, if you've been hurt by somebody, you. 426 00:26:29,090 --> 00:26:32,050 You don't have to go back and have the same level of trust. 427 00:26:32,290 --> 00:26:37,650 Trust has to be earned, and trust takes time. 428 00:26:38,370 --> 00:26:41,090 Forgiveness is not removing the consequences. 429 00:26:42,370 --> 00:26:45,170 You know, there are always consequences to sin. 430 00:26:45,970 --> 00:26:48,850 If you sin, there are consequences. 431 00:26:49,410 --> 00:26:52,850 If somebody sins against you, there are consequences. 432 00:26:55,260 --> 00:26:56,940 So forgiveness is not that. 433 00:26:57,980 --> 00:27:01,100 Forgiveness is the transformation that happens in us 434 00:27:01,580 --> 00:27:03,100 when we forgive. 435 00:27:05,900 --> 00:27:09,820 Now, I want to talk about a really hard question before we finish 436 00:27:09,820 --> 00:27:10,140 up. 437 00:27:10,940 --> 00:27:13,180 I'm not talking to everybody in the room on this one. 438 00:27:13,500 --> 00:27:14,140 Okay? 439 00:27:16,620 --> 00:27:18,220 I'm not talking to everybody in the room. 440 00:27:18,780 --> 00:27:24,480 I want to talk to people who've been victims of abuse, and 441 00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:26,680 I want to talk to the people in the room who've been victims of 442 00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:27,640 sexual assault. 443 00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:34,640 And I want to answer six questions for you that probably are 444 00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:39,640 in your mind first. 445 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:44,200 Do I have to forgive my abuser right now? 446 00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:46,780 No, you don't. 447 00:27:49,260 --> 00:27:50,140 It's a process. 448 00:27:52,140 --> 00:27:53,260 God knows your heart. 449 00:27:54,620 --> 00:28:01,100 If your desire is to want to honor him you may get there at some 450 00:28:01,100 --> 00:28:03,660 point, but you don't have to forgive him right now. 451 00:28:04,380 --> 00:28:06,220 And don't beat yourself up over it. 452 00:28:08,940 --> 00:28:09,740 Second question. 453 00:28:11,340 --> 00:28:13,340 Do I have to forgive what happened to me? 454 00:28:14,290 --> 00:28:15,090 Absolutely not. 455 00:28:18,130 --> 00:28:23,250 Abuse lasts forever to the victim, doesn't last forever to the 456 00:28:23,410 --> 00:28:24,850 one who was the abuser. 457 00:28:25,170 --> 00:28:29,810 In fact, they probably went on to other acts of that. 458 00:28:31,010 --> 00:28:33,810 But to the one who is abused, it lasts forever. 459 00:28:34,290 --> 00:28:35,570 It impacts your life. 460 00:28:36,530 --> 00:28:40,660 Unless you do a lot of hard work to get through it and deal with 461 00:28:40,660 --> 00:28:43,100 that trauma, it hangs over you. 462 00:28:47,500 --> 00:28:49,340 See, you don't have to forget what happened. 463 00:28:51,420 --> 00:28:53,340 Do I have to be reconciled with him? 464 00:28:54,300 --> 00:28:58,140 No, you don't have to be reconciled with your abuser. 465 00:29:01,180 --> 00:29:06,830 Unforgiving does hurt you, but whether or not you forgive them, 466 00:29:06,830 --> 00:29:08,310 it's not going to change anything for them. 467 00:29:08,310 --> 00:29:10,390 I can guarantee you they've probably forgotten it. 468 00:29:10,710 --> 00:29:13,350 If you're a victim of sexual assault, they've forgotten it. 469 00:29:13,350 --> 00:29:16,670 If you're a victim of abuse, there are others, they've forgotten 470 00:29:16,670 --> 00:29:19,270 it, but you haven't. 471 00:29:20,070 --> 00:29:21,350 You live with it every day. 472 00:29:23,750 --> 00:29:25,390 So do you have to be reconciled with them? 473 00:29:25,390 --> 00:29:26,070 No, you don't. 474 00:29:27,750 --> 00:29:29,830 You do not have to be reconciled with them. 475 00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:35,760 Fourth, Do I have to confront them? 476 00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:39,920 No, you don't have to confront them. 477 00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:43,360 Trust the Holy Spirit to confront them. 478 00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:51,240 God is at work in the world, and God's spirit is at work and will 479 00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:55,840 confront them either now or in eternity when they do pay favor. 480 00:29:58,230 --> 00:30:01,630 In fact, I would say it's probably safest not to confront them. 481 00:30:01,630 --> 00:30:03,430 Because they manipulated you once. 482 00:30:03,750 --> 00:30:06,710 They probably think they can do it again, and they're going to 483 00:30:06,710 --> 00:30:08,550 try and turn around and tell you it's your fault again. 484 00:30:08,550 --> 00:30:09,750 And it's not your fault. 485 00:30:10,710 --> 00:30:11,990 Absolutely not your fault. 486 00:30:13,030 --> 00:30:14,710 So you don't have to confront them. 487 00:30:17,510 --> 00:30:18,310 Question 5. 488 00:30:20,150 --> 00:30:21,750 Do you deserve to get justice? 489 00:30:22,930 --> 00:30:23,570 Absolutely. 490 00:30:24,930 --> 00:30:27,090 Absolutely, you deserve to get justice. 491 00:30:28,130 --> 00:30:31,090 But you gotta say, God's got this. 492 00:30:32,130 --> 00:30:35,970 It's not my job to bring justice to them. 493 00:30:36,770 --> 00:30:37,890 God's got this. 494 00:30:38,770 --> 00:30:41,250 He will seek revenge. 495 00:30:41,890 --> 00:30:46,690 He says in his scripture, you gotta trust God to do it. 496 00:30:47,170 --> 00:30:48,770 You don't have to be the one to do it. 497 00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:51,160 And last question. 498 00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:54,120 Do you want them to admit it? 499 00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:55,360 Do you want them to change? 500 00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:56,440 Do you want them to get help? 501 00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:57,800 Yes, absolutely you do. 502 00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:00,760 But you can only change you. 503 00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:03,960 You can't change them. 504 00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:08,400 But they are as accountable to God as you're accountable to God. 505 00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:09,800 And I'm accountable to God. 506 00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:12,120 And they can't escape. 507 00:31:15,490 --> 00:31:18,210 And there will be a judgment at the right time. 508 00:31:20,210 --> 00:31:26,930 If you've been hurt and a victim of abuse, sexual assault, 509 00:31:28,530 --> 00:31:29,810 I Cry for you. 510 00:31:30,690 --> 00:31:31,730 I am sorry. 511 00:31:32,850 --> 00:31:35,730 It's wrong at every level. 512 00:31:37,730 --> 00:31:38,690 It's evil. 513 00:31:42,140 --> 00:31:43,740 But may God bring healing. 514 00:31:44,620 --> 00:31:49,260 As you do deal with a level of forgiveness that's appropriate even 515 00:31:49,660 --> 00:31:55,740 in the worst of the worst, which I think abuse and sexual assault 516 00:31:55,740 --> 00:31:56,139 is. 517 00:31:59,580 --> 00:32:01,740 Well, there's freedom and forgiveness. 518 00:32:02,460 --> 00:32:07,340 The parable was told to answer a question Peter asked about forgiveness. 519 00:32:08,610 --> 00:32:10,290 Question comes at the beginning of the parable. 520 00:32:10,290 --> 00:32:14,090 Peter asked this question and Jesus told the parable in answer 521 00:32:14,090 --> 00:32:14,610 to it. 522 00:32:16,370 --> 00:32:17,490 Peter asked this. 523 00:32:18,850 --> 00:32:23,970 He said, Peter came to Jesus and said, and asked, lord, how often 524 00:32:24,290 --> 00:32:26,610 should I forgive someone who sins against me? 525 00:32:27,490 --> 00:32:28,290 Seven times? 526 00:32:29,170 --> 00:32:36,380 No, not seven times, Jesus replied, but 70 times seven. 527 00:32:37,740 --> 00:32:41,820 Now, the law of Moses taught you were to forgive somebody four, 528 00:32:42,060 --> 00:32:43,740 maybe three times. 529 00:32:44,300 --> 00:32:48,300 And that was really generous to forgive them that many times. 530 00:32:48,700 --> 00:32:51,940 So Peter, when he came to Jesus, I think he thought he was 531 00:32:51,940 --> 00:32:55,660 being really noble, or maybe he was just trying to impress Jesus. 532 00:32:55,740 --> 00:32:57,780 Hey, I'll do it seven times. 533 00:32:57,780 --> 00:32:59,520 What do you think about that, Lord? 534 00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:00,400 That's a big deal. 535 00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:01,280 Come on. 536 00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:02,160 Bring on the praise. 537 00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:06,320 Jesus said, no, not seven times. 538 00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:09,680 70 times seven. 539 00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:13,680 Before you get out your calculator, that's about 500 times. 540 00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:21,680 That is for you, not for the person you hurt. 541 00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:25,000 That is for you. 542 00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:29,850 Because when you forgive that much, only over and over and over 543 00:33:30,170 --> 00:33:30,810 and over. 544 00:33:30,890 --> 00:33:34,410 And it may take that for some of the deepest wounds of life to 545 00:33:34,410 --> 00:33:35,130 forgive them. 546 00:33:35,290 --> 00:33:38,570 Multiple, multiple, multiple, multiple times that you can't even 547 00:33:38,570 --> 00:33:40,410 count how many times you've forgiven. 548 00:33:40,810 --> 00:33:47,090 That's when forgiveness moves from the head to the heart and it 549 00:33:47,090 --> 00:33:48,730 changes how you see the world. 550 00:33:49,370 --> 00:33:52,990 That's when forgiveness moves from hurt to. 551 00:33:53,140 --> 00:33:57,380 To healing and life becomes whole again. 552 00:33:58,260 --> 00:34:03,220 That's when forgiveness moves from fighting to forgetting. 553 00:34:05,380 --> 00:34:11,860 Forgiveness is the most amazing miracle that God ever did. 554 00:34:12,660 --> 00:34:14,580 Jesus did a lot of amazing miracles. 555 00:34:15,380 --> 00:34:18,790 Nothing compares to forgiveness. 556 00:34:19,980 --> 00:34:23,500 May we be people who learn to forgive. 557 00:34:24,780 --> 00:34:25,540 Let's pray together. 558 00:34:25,540 --> 00:34:26,540 Our benediction. 559 00:34:26,780 --> 00:34:27,820 No eye is seen. 560 00:34:28,300 --> 00:34:29,420 No ear is heard. 561 00:34:29,740 --> 00:34:31,100 No mind is conceived. 562 00:34:31,180 --> 00:34:34,220 What God has prepared for those who love him. 563 00:34:34,300 --> 00:34:35,100 God bless.