So what's going on, everybody?

What's up, everyone?

So, hi, I'm Derek.

And I'm Matt.

We missed last week.

Yeah, we did.

We were away.

Yeah.

If you're.

If you're on our patreon, I sent out the devotions for the week.

It's unrest, so.

Yeah, it's good to rest every once in a while.

Yeah.

I wouldn't necessarily call what we went and did restful.

I wouldn't.

But I think I'm finally to a point where I'm back to where I'm good.

Yesterday helped a lot.

Yeah, for me too.

I took yesterday off because I was sick and it wasn't like the sick as in like dying sick.

It was just like my body's like, nope.

And so I literally slept like all day long.

And it was good.

It was actually rejuvenating.

Yesterday I made sure to do something with my hands.

So.

Yeah, so if you.

It's like Jesse said, the one day, you know, and if you work with your head, Sabbath with your hands.

If you work with your hands, Sabbath with your head.

Well, that's kind of what I did.

I found something to do and it was awesome actually and turned out really good.

I'll show you pictures.

It'll be good.

So awesome.

Yeah, cool.

Yeah, I do both on a regular basis.

So I guess my new Sabbath is sleeping.

Sleeping's also good.

Yeah.

I was actually shocked that last night I started feeling much better.

And then this morning I was like, alright, let's do it.

Well, on Monday I was so out of it all day.

I mean, it was a struggle for me.

And I was in the office and I was like, I don't get why I'm so.

Just why am I so like this today?

And Nick looks at me and goes, well, okay, let's take a recap.

So last Wednesday we all left and we had a series of like 16 hour meetings for a few days.

And then you came back and you had to prepare for a sermon.

And so you did that and then the next day you woke up and you did said sermon twice.

And then you came back that evening and did student ministry.

And then you woke up today to come in and get to a meeting.

And he says, and on top of all that, it was daylight savings week, so you've been losing an hour of sleep for over a week now.

And I was like, yep.

Adds up.

Yeah.

Yeah, man.

Daylight, spring forward.

Spring forward is the worst.

It was exhausting just hearing you unfold all of that.

Yeah, it was exhausting just thinking through it really.

But.

Alright, so I'm kick off today's discussion with a random talking card.

Yeah, we can do that.

It's a yellow.

You can read it now.

Yeah, I'm going to do it right now.

Ooh, I don't know what this is.

Yeah, it's a faith journey card.

Faith journey card.

Yeah.

Well, I mean that's the, that's the yellows.

Yellows.

So if you were called as a missionary anywhere in the world, where would you go?

Ooh, that's if I was called as a missionary anywhere.

Oh man, I'd have to think about that.

Do you have your answer?

Yeah, I know exactly where I'd go.

Is it where you're going?

Yeah, it's where I'm going.

Yeah.

And that's why I said it's kind of like, you know.

Yeah, okay, now I get it, I get it.

But it's, it's Honduras.

That's where I would go.

Honduras, Honduras.

Honduras.

There's no.

No, it's Honduras.

I always have to do the little hand wag thing because I don't know, it's weird and my brain.

That's what it does.

That's funny.

So yeah, no, man.

Dude, the people of Honduras, amazing.

They are, they are cool people and I fell in love with them immediately.

And so that's probably where I would, I would go.

I honestly have no idea.

I mean that.

But that's fine with me because I only do what I feel God's telling me to do.

So.

Yeah, but if you got to pick.

I mean there's places I'd like to go visit.

But that's not necessarily the same thing as wanting to go be a missionary someplace.

That's true.

I mean, that's fair, you know.

Yeah.

Like I'd like to visit even Israel, but like to be a missionary to Israel sounds a little funny.

You know what I mean?

I don't know.

Everybody needs Jesus, dude.

Everybody needs Jesus himself went on a mission trip there.

So.

But he was from there, right?

So like, yeah, you can mission trip in a place.

Sure.

I'm saying he was rejected.

Oh yeah.

You know, in his own home kind of a thing.

So like maybe, maybe somebody not from there wouldn't be as rejected.

Yeah, I mean, maybe not.

I don't know.

I like to think of myself on just a long term mission, you know, like I'm living in Maryland most of my life for almost 40 years.

That's a mission field.

That is.

It is, it is.

And then God called me to Florida.

Was like, okay, I mean, I wasn't kicking and screaming for Florida.

I mean, I loved it.

I was like, that's great.

I didn't know where he was taking me.

Right.

So I just kind of followed him, but.

And here I am.

But, yeah, I mean, I don't know.

I mean, there's some places that obviously need some help, but I.

I don't know if there's any place that's like.

I didn't have anything hit my mind, you know, I was intrigued when I found out that there was missions going to Ireland.

That was really interesting to me because, I mean, one, it is a place that I love, but also that's where I figured you'd say, yeah, and actually, I wouldn't be opposed to that.

But I would need God to tell me that's what he wants me to do, for sure.

But, I mean, that would be cool just because I love the people and I love the culture, and so it'd be something that I could embrace, you.

Know, I'd love to visit someday.

That'd be cool.

Yeah.

It'd be probably the same.

Like, Scotland would probably be the same for me.

But I just.

The interesting, like, hearing how Ireland needs some guidance there, and I understand it.

It's like such a burnout.

They've been burned out by church things, and the church hurts and all the stuff that comes with it, and it takes a while to recover from that.

And when you.

A single person recovering from church burnout or church hurt, it can be a lot.

But when you think of an entire society that's that burnt, that's a lot.

And so, I mean, to bring real, authentic Jesus into a place like that is.

That is something that does intrigue me.

So when I was listening about those and I found out about it through two different places.

One, I was.

When I was on with ciy in Christ and Youth, when I was at the MOVE trip, they talked about a team that they have that goes.

And I was like, that's really cool.

And then we had our people from Northern Ireland come here.

Or the people that we're connected to, not necessarily from this church, but we're connected to them, listening to how they do things and stuff.

And I was just really intrigued by the whole thing.

And I love what they're doing.

So, yeah, if I could pick anywhere, maybe it would be there.

Just because I feel like those are my people.

Strange.

I don't.

Not to diminish it at all.

I have a hard time seeing that as being a missionary other than because I see them as More of like, they're doing ministry.

Right.

Like, in another country.

And maybe it's another country part that makes it a missionary when you're doing missions or ministry in another country.

You know what I mean?

Like, I don't know.

It's just weird.

Like, I don't diminish what they're doing.

I think it's amazing what they're doing.

I think it's cool, and it would be awesome.

I just.

It's not how my brain typically thinks of missions.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

So that's all.

I was awakened to different types of missions before.

So it was in my undergrad studies, before seminary, where it was talking about, like, the Che movement, which is community health evangelism.

And that can happen in the neighborhood, down the street, or it can happen across the world.

And I just never really had put it into that.

And at the time, I thought, well, that makes sense, because at the time in my life, I didn't feel called to anywhere but where I was in Maryland.

And so I was like, well, obviously this is a mission field.

I need to be working here.

And then to have him uproot me was an adventure in itself.

But, yeah, I mean, missions, we tend to put it in a box.

Sure.

And understandably, because most people hear mission, they're like, it almost sounds like they cross mission with vacation.

Like, we're going to go away to do this.

It's like, no, it's not.

It's.

Where does God need you to do some work?

And a mission could be at the house next door.

It could be the house down the street.

It could be the other side of the state, could be the other side of the country, could be the other side of the world.

It's where God's sending you or where you feel God's sending you to go and minister to people.

That's what it is.

And however he needs you to do it, that's what, like, it was surprising to me.

It was surprising to me to hear that people were going to Northern Ireland.

But then when I understood why, I was like, oh, yeah, that makes sense.

You know, when people are, like, walking away from it, how can we walk into that situation and try to bring not only healing, but reverse, where people come back to God and put him more as a forefront of their lives, an actual relationship, instead of just going through the motions like they might have been doing for a while?

Yeah, that's good.

So if you guys have somewhere where you would think would be cool to be a missionary, if God were to Let you go anywhere, let us know, write it in the comments and send it to us or whatnot.

We're curious as to where you'd want to go today.

What are we talking about today?

We are talking about God working on you.

God working in our lives.

God working on us to change us.

So that's what we're going to talk about today.

And welcome to the Truth response.

All right, I'm gonna pray today.

So thank you, Lord, for another day.

Thank you for just allowing us to seek after you in a way that at least in this country, we're not as persecuted and we're not.

We're not being, you know, held at gunpoint and thrown in prison for it.

I just thank you for the ability to record a podcast that people can hear from anywhere that's allowed in the world and that we can connect to people that aren't necessarily next door.

God, that we can actually have communication over that much of a distance.

God.

And our footprint is larger in the world and I pray that it all to your glory, God.

I pray that we can just follow wherever you're going to lead the conversation.

And we thank you for the opportunity.

It's in your precious holy name we pray.

Amen.

Amen.

I love how my headphones just clapped behind me.

Oh, pretty.

There we go.

That was the most amount of time I took headphones back on.

All right, so, yeah, so how God is working in our lives, how is.

He working on us?

Right.

And how working on us?

Well, I mean, it's something that it's a good subject because oftentimes we get so busy in just the hustle and bustle that we sometimes don't look around and see how God's working, you know?

Yeah.

You know, sometimes it takes an event or some kind of crazy thing to make us stop and go, oh, wonder what that's about.

Yeah, so it takes, I guess, and then also, I guess it takes intentionality to some degree to just be on the lookout for those things, you know, But I don't know, for me, I can say God's always working on me, man.

He's always trying to help me grow in every darn way.

It seems lately there's been a couple of things, scripture wise, he's been taking me deeper on, which has been cool and theologically thinking about things, sometimes a little deeper.

Then also he's always working on me as a minister, I guess you would say, or a pastor.

Either way, where I'm learning how to do that better, how to communicate better, think through things.

Better respond to those I'm ministering to.

He's teaching me how to build a better team, all these kinds of things.

And then personally, he helps me get better, even with my relationships with my kids.

See things I don't see.

You know, I can tell you that he's been.

Lately, it seems like he's been working on my one son a lot, and.

Which is pretty cool, but it's definitely one of my favorite things.

Not just the fact that God's working on him, but, like, is the fact that that gives us more to talk about, you know?

Yeah.

I don't know.

There's just.

I feel like.

But I'm also the kind of person.

I don't know, maybe I'm in tune.

Sometimes I got to slow down.

He shows me that, too, where it's like, you know, you're gonna run yourself ragged if you keep on this.

Or you need to open yourself up to the fact that you've got your blinders on again and you're just plowing through, and there's things you need to look at.

All those good things.

Yeah.

You know, recently, I think we talked about this on a podcast.

It was.

He banged me on the head because I started trying to figure something out again ahead of him, because I was figuring out about something when it comes to future endeavors, and not necessarily for me, but for my family, and what was that going to look like, and how would that work out?

And then he just kind of like, you know, you're doing it again.

You're trying to get ahead of me.

You're trying to do it yourself.

And, you know, reminded me that I need to stay faithful, that he's got me.

And then it's funny because when he does, when he gives me that little.

I call them brain dusters, I tend to find more peace in that moment, and I accept things then.

It's interesting to see how God works, because one minute I think things might go one way, and then there's other things that pop up, and I'm like, I never saw that one coming, but maybe you did.

And that's kind of neat in itself.

And then another thing that was really cool recently was to find out that my house has been a ministry house before.

That was a really cool thing.

There was a random Saturday.

I think it was a Saturday.

I was outside working with my hands, because I like to do that, and some random car pulls in my driveway, and I'm like, who's this?

And it was really funny because the person gets out.

It's an Older feller.

And he's like, oh, yeah, don't worry, you don't know us.

And I'm like, yeah, that's obvious.

Okay.

And he's like, oh, we used to live here.

And I thought, oh, okay, that's kind of cool.

I mean, it's still a little weird, but okay.

And my wife got excited because there's this little concrete block that had, like, handprints and initials and stuff.

And she got, oh, is that you?

And then it was so.

That was really neat.

It's a nice little kind of.

See, finally put a connection on why that's there.

And then we got to talking, and he asked me how I got to be there.

And I said I came for a job at a local church.

And he revealed that he was a youth minister for quite a long time.

And I just thought, what are the odds?

And come to find out, very connected to a lot of people that I'm connected to now.

And that's just wild.

It's just something that only God can do because there have been so many houses built since that house, since that person lived there.

And yet it's as if God had a plan to redeem this house and put someone who, well, works for him back in that house.

That's going to fill it with ministry, that's going to fill it with prayer, that's going to maybe even fill it with students again.

And it's humbling.

It's really humbling.

Because talk about him having something that's way greater than I could ever do myself.

I could.

The odds were so not in my favor for that.

That's pretty crazy.

And when you think about the fact that, like, my wife and I were looking for houses at the time, I was looking at other houses, and this one popped up suddenly in our search, and it crossed off one of my.

A lot of my wife's boxes.

And then we just jumped on it.

It was like, perfect.

It was perfect timing, perfect house, perfect thing.

And that house.

That house.

Like, I love to ask the question, what are the odds?

But I know the answer.

They don't exist.

It's all Jesus.

Yeah, that's good.

I've been learning that I'm too emotionally wired.

I need to figure out a way to calm that down a little bit.

Tamper it.

Oh, yeah, Yeah.

I think that's really.

God's been.

Been working on me.

I mean, it comes up a lot.

It's been the source of a lot of frustration lately.

So, I mean, there I am who I am.

I mean, there's there's that, but just like I need to figure out how to just stop and pray before I react to anything.

You know, like be aware of things that are going to get me frustrated.

So I think, I think that's really.

God's been beating me on the head with that one lately.

So I still in the I don't know how to do it face.

So like, God hasn't like revealed that part to me yet.

But admitting you have a problem is the first thing.

Yeah, actually, yes, yes.

Yeah.

I can attest to that a few years ago now, which is weird to say considering that when I was going through it, but when I went through a lot of church hurt through those circumstances, I actually was struggling to heal from it.

And what it took was when I finally was like, alright, God, I can't do this myself.

And it was one of those, I don't know if it was a pride thing or just a scared thing, you know, because like the thing is like, I wonder why reason, I think, was it a pride thing is because, I mean, at the time I had already helped and counseled people in some crazy situations.

So maybe a part of me thought, I can do this, I can help myself through this.

Maybe that was part of it.

But I also think it was at a point where it was like suddenly I didn't know who I could talk to, who I could get help from in a genuine sense.

And so finally I said to God, I need more healing, I need more help.

I can't do this by myself.

It was strange that just in, just in admitting that to him was huge, like that that made a big difference.

And I started feeling different really quickly after that.

I wouldn't say instantaneously, but it wasn't long.

So I started feeling a little looser in that.

And then the right things came in place and I found the right counseling for myself and the wonders that could work right after that were fantastic.

And yeah, so it was having to admit it like, and not being stubborn and going, oh, I can keep doing.

No, it was.

And so it did.

I had to.

Maybe it was pride to take that down.

And then also it was putting myself back out there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I know, I mean, like I've just recently had the realization that that's something I needed to work on.

I mean, there's been hints for a while, but like, and, and being emotionally driven is not necessarily a bad thing.

No.

But whenever it controls you, it, it is.

And so like I, I just got to figure out how to control it.

And not let it control me, which is all gonna be God.

He's gonna reveal the tools to do that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I just.

Even.

Just.

Even the whole concept of, like, knowing that this thing just made me upset.

Praying and then moving forward with whatever.

Whatever the situation may be, getting out of it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just not letting it take me by surprise.

Right.

Like, I feel like there's been a lot of blindsiding lately.

Like, just life and things, like with Lizzie and her new job and all of that, like, finding out about it.

I just completely was blindsided by that.

And.

And just.

There's just a lot of that that's been happening lately.

And I am constantly in reaction mode, which is something I've always spoke against.

You know, you always want to be, you know.

You know, actionary, ready, you know, not reactionary.

So easier said than done, obviously.

Well.

And inevitably, there will be events that we just can't foresee, we can't train for.

But when it's regular, you got to do something.

Yeah, that's true.

I mean, I just.

I just taught on Daniel 5, and he could.

He was definitely not prepared for a hand to appear and start writing on the wall.

Right.

There are some things we just.

Are going to just react to.

Right.

Yeah, I get you.

There's definitely trying to find a way to know yourself and know what's.

I hate to use this word, but it kind of worked.

Knows.

Know your triggers.

Know the things that are going to affect you in the Good.

I do.

I do.

I hate that word.

And I can.

I'm not going to get into it, but I know why I hate that word now.

But, yeah.

But, yeah, there are some things that are just going to mess with you.

And to start to recognize this kind of thing is going to make me feel this way and this kind of things and gets.

I had to do that a lot in my parenting because I realized that, you know, some of my.

When I was a kid, I saw a lot of my dad's anger and frustration in somehow some of the ways he parented.

And I naturally just brought that into situations, like if that was supposed to be my default, you know, And I had to recognize, look, this situation doesn't call for this and that.

I don't know why.

I feel like I need to bring this into everything I do.

And I had to start taking steps back and realize that if my kids do certain things, that's not necessarily an attack on me.

Yeah.

You know, and to take those things hostage and not let them dictate me yeah.

And I don't know, like I said, I've always been kind of emotionally driven, but I just.

Lately it's gotten worse, I guess.

I don't know.

I just am not.

I'm constantly flat footed, you know what I mean?

Flat footed?

Yeah.

Like if you're caught flat footed, you're going on your butt, you know?

And so, like, you gotta be ready.

I mean, you gotta be ready for the fact that things are gonna come.

Whether you're ready for that thing to come or not is different.

But it's kind of like the.

The concept.

I was talking to somebody, I think it was John Mad Cow.

We were talking about something that brought this up, but like, the fact that the reason we got to put on our armor every day, right, like the armor of God every day is because you may not have a battle that day, but if you're not used to wearing it, you're gonna end up like David.

Whenever he was trying to put on Saul's armor, he's like, I can't do this.

I can't.

I can't fight in this.

And inevitably, if he had tried, I'm not saying he would have died, but I mean, he's still trusting God, you know, but like, he probably would have gotten hurt at the very least, you know, he wouldn't have been able to be as agile because that's not what he had practiced in, you know, so we have to get in a routine of putting that armor on, preparing ourselves, reading our scripture, meditating on it, like, talking to God, listening to God, like, and it has to be a regular thing because when the things come, we won't be ready.

And so I don't know if it's just like, I don't know.

I don't know if I just haven't been putting on the armor on a regular enough basis, you know, like, that I'm just like constantly being that.

And I feel like, I don't know, maybe.

Maybe getting.

Getting away from the regular.

Just sitting down with a group of guys and, and doing the whole accountability thing and just praying with each other and doing intentional study together, like, has gotten me out of this rhythm where, like, I guess it feels like I'm alone almost.

You know what I mean?

Like, I know I'm not.

That's the knowledge of it's there that I'm not.

But like, when.

When you're in that rhythm and you've got that, you know, that regular interaction with those, those close brothers, like, you know, that you don't have to be as quick to spin around to stop that arrow or whatever, you know, like somebody else has got you.

And so it's just kind of one of those things where just recently it has felt, I don't know, last couple months it's felt like I feel alone, even though I know I'm not.

Does that make sense?

Yeah.

So that's one of the ding we get.

So you, you, you spoke to something that I.

So when you are used to doing certain things in a group and then you become content in that.

Like, this is how I do this, this is how I do that.

And then you almost.

It's as if we lose a little bit of what it is to do this by ourselves.

And you know, when we experience God in group settings and that's really the only place we're experiencing him, we feel like we can't experience him outside the group settings.

And that is a tricky place.

And you guys are in just a mix up stage right now.

You and your wife are.

There's a guy.

I mean, I feel like I see God moving all over your lives, but you're in a shake up stage, man.

Things are just getting.

Since the beginning of the year, things are uncomfortable.

They really are.

And not in a like, I'm scared kind of a way, but like, it's just.

I don't know what's going on, you know?

Like, I feel like for the first time in my whole life, I just truly don't know what I'm doing.

Yeah.

And that's where I'm supposed to be, you know, as much as I don't know what I'm doing.

Like, I know that where I am and what I'm doing is what I'm supposed to be doing, you know, and where I'm supposed to be.

And it's just so uncomfortable.

It's.

It's unsettling.

And that's where you grow.

I mean, that's.

I know that.

You know, like I'm in the wilderness.

Yeah.

I mean, it is a shake up right now.

Like, you know, it's.

It's definitely a shake up.

Great way to.

Great way to word it.

Yeah.

I mean, and that's scary.

I feel like there's been.

There's been a few times where Sadie and I've really had things shaken up.

And sometimes it was one of us, which obviously does affect both of us, but sometimes we are both in that mix where a lot of things were happening at once.

And it's a little.

It's unnerving to say the least.

And you Know what?

It does put you in a place where you're a little extra sensitive.

Not meaning extra emotionally sensitive, but what I mean is that reactory like so your reaction to things, you're on high alert so much because everything's changing and it puts you in a.

In a heightened sense, like.

And so when things happen, you tend to overreact when you don't need to be overreact.

That's how I remember it being for us.

So again, until for us, then there was this period of time where things were happening so much that we just kind of learned how to like dance with it, man.

And that was, that was wild.

When we found ourselves like another thing happened.

We're like, okay, yeah, it's like this house fell on the tree.

Okay, well we'll get a tree off the house.

That's the first thing you know.

There's a storm coming.

We're gonna need to get the roof covered, you know, like that kind of thing.

Like, you know, it got to the point where you just kind of learn to jive with it.

And it's wild too when you can.

But yeah, I mean your situation is yours and it's different.

And I can't say I can speak directly into how you're feeling or even your wife or both of you at this point, but I mean, you're in a shakeup season.

It's a wild time.

Yes, it is.

Yeah.

And I mean, I've always been very comfortable, like God, and our finances and all of that.

And like I find myself being tested in that.

Not, not to a point of like failing that test because I'm able to like, just be like, it's good, it's alright.

But there are moments when I look at the bank account and I'm like, okay, I'm trusting you, you know, like, and just things, lots of things happening, like out of pocket bills for medical stuff that it's just an astronomical ridiculous cost for, for what it is, you know, like I'm.

My daughter's getting her, her one last ear tube out.

Like the other one fell out and this one's got to be surgically removed.

And the bill that they sent to the insurance company was 20 grand.

And I'm like, what?

That's nuts.

For you to go in and remove this tube and maybe, maybe, maybe have to do one little stitch.

Like that's way too much.

20 grand out of pocket.

1500.

It's nuts.

That's your deductible part of it.

That's how much I gotta pay.

Yeah.

Oh, My goodness.

Yeah.

And I got to do that before.

That should have been the whole cost.

Right, Right.

But no, no.

That's what our medical industry is.

It's one of those things that we got.

We got some money back from.

From taxes and all that stuff.

And that's part of the reason why I'm so okay with doing taxes.

The way that.

That it's done is like, at least this is going to come back, and there's inevitably gonna be something, you know, that it's gonna take care of.

So.

And it's not.

It is what it is.

But, like, I don't know.

It shifted how our summer looks.

Cause that vacation that we were gonna take's not happening now.

We're gonna have to do a different vacation is all, you know, so it was like, just always something as.

As of right now.

But who knows?

I mean, God, could tomorrow turn this whole job thing around and start kicking up some cash and then who knows?

I don't know.

I don't know what tomorrow looks like.

So that's been one thing that.

I guess that's been the hard part.

I think about the reactionary part is because I'm so used to, like, I got an idea what tomorrow looks like, and right now, I have no idea what tomorrow looks like at all.

Like, I have no idea.

And so when something happens today that's going to affect tomorrow, it's like, what do I do?

You know?

So I think that's.

I think.

I think that's good.

I think that's what you're.

What you said, nail on the head on that, man.

Like, yeah, it's scary.

Yeah.

You know, it really is.

It's hard to find that peace sometimes in those situations, especially when you.

When something else just hit.

Because I think what Sadie and I.

Sometimes the worst stuff is when it wasn't when the first thing hit, and sometimes not even the second.

It was like, when it keeps coming.

When there's another thing and another thing is telling you, like, how much more, you know, and that.

That can be hard.

That can be hard, you know, and, you know, especially when, like, as many kids as we had or we have, you know, we have five kids, and there was always something with one of them.

Yeah.

And if there wasn't something with one of them, it was something with one of us.

And if it wasn't, like, the cars or the house, and it just feels like there's always something.

But, you know, somehow in the midst of that, you know, the things we can know come to the forefront.

Like as you were saying, like, the.

The unknowns are freaky, but, like, here's what you can know.

Like, God is still there and he still loves you, and he's not leaving you.

He's not forsaking you.

And he still.

Although we might not know exactly how he wants to plan this out or what his intentions are with allowing things to happen or whatever it may be, he still wants us to lean on him and he wants to help us work through all this stuff.

There's things he wants us to learn.

There's still the ability to get to church.

There's still the ability to read your Bible, to pray, to do the things that you can have some control over at that moment.

But also that can be consistencies.

And in that.

In the stuff that we can have at the bedrock that we can build on, that makes the other things easier, where, you know, suddenly they don't seem as scary, you know?

And, you know.

Yeah, I think.

I think another thing to point out too is, like, regardless of what God is working on you in, he's doing it because he loves you, not because he's disappointed in you.

Yeah.

Right.

Like, he's already covered all of that.

Like, just.

Just learn and grow.

Enjoy the.

The momentum of the growth and the.

And the change and the moving with God because he's not in it to make you feel shame.

Right.

Like, that's.

That's another thing.

Like, if he's really pounding on you on something, like, run with it.

Yeah.

I mean, be.

Be glad that.

That you're hearing from him, you know, like, because there's dry periods where you don't hear.

Like, you're listening and you're just waiting, you know?

And those moments.

Those moments are equally as hard.

So, like, just.

Just enjoy the ride.

Like, I'm speaking to myself, too.

Like, just.

Just remember to enjoy the fact that this is a period in time which God is really speaking and moving in your life.

And that could be the momentum.

This could be the thing that you need to get you to.

Through that place where he's silent.

Yeah.

I had two things that really helped me.

One was when I was just going through a lot, and it felt like it was just too much on my shoulders.

And then there was another time where I just knew it was a big spiritual battle that was going on.

The first one was when somebody said to me something like, you might not think you're strong enough for this, but God does, and he wants to show you how strong you are.

And I thought, wow, that's pretty big.

Because I think there's truth to that for sure.

And I think it's been proven true to me because I was able to get through things I didn't think I'd ever get through.

But he helped me get through them and showed me that you're strong enough for this stuff.

And the other thing that he said, when I was in some really, we knew we were in some bad spiritual warfare stuff, it was, God must have some pretty big plans for you if the devil's fighting this hard.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

And I thought, wow, maybe that's true.

And it's been amazing to see sometimes what has happened on the other side of those chaotic times and the kind of growth that can happen both personally but also spiritually.

Yeah, that's definitely something that I've seen a lot just in my own life and other people's lives in the church.

Like when.

When you're headed full on for the will of God, right?

Yeah.

That's when things are gonna seem like they're getting ready to fall apart.

But God is way bigger than he who is in the world, right?

Yeah.

And God is way bigger than any struggle that you have.

And his strength is where it's all at.

And so, like, know that, you know, sometimes the attack comes because God is sending you on a big mission.

Yeah.

So.

And the devil knows it.

Yep.

Yep.

Suddenly, when God looks at you a certain way, the devil goes, oh, no, no, no.

But you're right.

It's interesting to think about how, you know, as you're walking into a situation, how you might be on the other side of it.

Could be pretty awesome.

This whole conversation kind of got started because we had somebody write in to us about how God was working in their life.

Working on them.

Working on them.

Yeah.

You want to read it?

I can.

Or I can, either way.

But I thought it was really good.

And I feel like there was, you know, something we could speak into that as well.

All right.

So they said one of the main things that he's helping them with is struggling in silence.

Typically keep my business to myself.

Many times you'll see a smile on my face, and it's that mentality of fake it till you make it.

But I'm actually struggling.

I either simply don't want to share or I don't.

Or I don't want to bother anyone with my issues.

I feel like I don't have the right to complain.

I mean, we should be.

We should all be grateful.

Right.

So he's teaching me the importance and value in community, which I mean, that's something I think a lot of people can resonate with.

Like, I don't want to be a burden on somebody else.

You know, we've been programmed to say, I'm good.

Everything's great.

You know, like, you know, how you doing?

Good.

You know, like, we've all been programmed to just immediately have that.

Right.

And sometimes I get it.

Like, you gotta.

You gotta smile and fake it till you make it, because it's the only thing you've got is the smile that you're giving to everybody else, that you're hoping to receive a smile back so that it just gives you that little bit more boost.

Like, I get that.

I can get that too.

But, like, it's.

It's extremely hard to be vulnerable to a point where you let somebody in on the truth about what's going on with you.

Oh, yeah.

And guess what?

Regardless of whether you want to or not, that's where you need to be.

You need to have at least one person that you are willing to let.

Let the walls come down on.

Right.

Like.

Or for, you know, like, that they can just see the real you and see what's really going on.

We can't do it alone.

We're literally designed to carry each other's burdens.

Yeah.

We're meant to be in relationship.

I mean, obviously, first and foremost, we're meant to be in a relationship with God, but he made us relational creatures to be with each other.

And you're right, it is hard because, you know, if we look at Guys.

Guys, we're brought up to act like we got it all under control.

Yeah.

And, you know, for us, sometimes the idea of going, hey, I'm struggling is a weakness.

And that's wild.

I mean, you and I both grew up around people in emergency services where, you know, that was very.

You know, they were the people that fixed problems, not the ones that had them.

You know, and, you know, we didn't.

Wouldn't want to talk about things like that.

And it's still that way, unfortunately.

I mean, it's gotta bend a little bit towards, you know, being more open with the issues that's going on.

But I think it's so crazy that one of the first things you learn in first responders class is the.

That it's their emergency, not yours.

And the first thing you're supposed to do is make sure it doesn't become yours, because when it becomes your emergency, there's no way to help somebody else.

And so for any of you guys out there that are in Those kinds of fields.

Like, remember that even the mental side of things.

Right.

The mental struggle at some point without, like, opening up and figuring it out.

Yeah, that's gonna become.

That's gonna make it your emergency.

And then you can't help those you.

You have sworn to help.

Right.

So it's.

It's okay to be open about that, even if it's just with some.

One other person.

You know, it is totally something that will change.

Will change everything, honestly.

Yeah.

You know, it's funny too, because.

And guys will do this.

I can't speak to women in this exact thing, but I will say that.

I know I once saw an example.

I want to say it was online.

I can't remember, but I'm going to use.

I don't remember if these were the exact samples, but it affected me enough where I realized that this is something that happens.

You could have two guys walk in and meet each other for lunch or at a bar or whatever and be, hey, man, how you doing?

I'm doing fine, man.

I'm doing good.

All right, cool.

And the other person will say something very similar.

Meanwhile, the truth is, one of them is getting ready to go through a divorce, and the other ones might be going bankrupt and, like.

But they'll act like nothing's going on.

Yeah.

Because we're kind of taught, like, we don't need to do that.

And then women.

Here's the problem I see is that, like, there's.

I don't know how it happened, but the culture of women who were supposed to be having each other's backs just backstabbing each other.

Women are afraid to leave the room because somebody might talk on them.

I've seen stuff about this.

I've talked to many different women about the kind of friendships in their circles and how much talking behind people's backs happened.

And it leaves them to a place where it's like they want to share, but they're afraid because if they do.

And then there's just the idea of, like, as this person that wrote in said, you don't want to be a burden.

I mean, I get that, too.

I mean, everybody's got a lot going on in their lives, so why would you want to put your stuff on them?

I get it.

But at the same time, we have to sharpen each other up.

We have to be able to carry each other's burdens.

When they put.

They put.

We should all be grateful.

Right.

As though that should mean that we shouldn't be going through stuff.

And that's.

That's not the case because you can.

You can be grateful.

Right?

You can be grateful and still be struggling.

Yeah.

I mean, it's totally possible.

And you absolutely cannot do it alone.

You have to have others.

They said another thing that God's been helping them with is coming to him as they are, as I am, not a cleaned up version, but just me.

And they said it breaks their heart to.

To think that it.

That it may hurt him.

When I come to him with sadness and hurt, I don't want to seem ungrateful for all he has done.

Okay.

So I don't think that.

Okay, I'm gonna go backwards on this one.

I don't think it hurts him.

I think he hurts with you and for you, but I don't think you're hurting him.

He already hurt.

He hurt when you weren't for him.

He hurt because he had to lay himself for you.

Now he's.

I once said it like this, you know, God would much rather you be yelling at him, complaining to him, crying to him, questioning him, then not talking to him at all.

And I feel like he would do the same when it comes to, like, the church body at large, the people you would fellowship with.

He wants you to rather.

He'd rather you talk to them openly than to disregard them.

And you might not feel like you are, but if you're pulling back on your fellowship in any aspect of it, then you are pulling back.

And that's a hard thing to do.

But if you look at the psalms, they are prime example, as you read through them, that they've got pretty much every example of an emotion.

People complained, people lamented, people rejoiced and celebrated.

It's all in there.

Happy, sad, bad, mad, all of it.

Even questioning.

People question God in the Psalms, and it's amazing that it's all in there.

And we can see it because this is a normal part of faith.

It's a normal thing to go to God.

This is where I'm at.

And the thing is, we act as if we go to him and we tell him these things that he doesn't already know it.

But you're forgetting that to not go to him is neglecting your relationship with Him.

He knows what you have, he knows what you need, he knows what you're dealing with.

And he wants you to be able to come to him and talk to him about it and be in that relationship.

And he knew about it before you went through it.

Yeah.

He could see if you're getting ready to walk into a problem.

He already knows it's coming.

He's already got your way out.

Yeah.

First Corinthians 10:13.

Man, like, there is nothing that is overtaking you except for that which is common to man, you know, and that he is faithful and just and will provide a way out.

Like, that's.

That's it.

Like, he already knows it.

He already knows what's coming.

He knows how you feel.

It's not like you talking to him or not talking to him is going to make him know less or hurt with you less.

But healing can only come when you go to him.

It's not going to come outside of him.

That healing is not going to come.

So, absolutely, he desperately wants to help you clean your house.

He's that, I don't know, perfect helper, you know, where he doesn't expect you to have your house picked up whenever he gets there, but he's coming over to help you do that.

Like, you know what I mean?

Like, and it's gonna be, we're gonna start in the kitchen or the living room or the bedroom, and we're just gonna pick up one thing at a time, like, and put it away and get rid of the garbage.

One thing at a time.

And you, at no point in time are expected to be perfect.

In fact, you won't be.

You are gonna be less than perfect till you die.

Yeah.

And then, even then, he is what makes you perfect.

It's not anything that you're doing.

So as far as, like, the.

Whether you're coming to him as you are and not a cleaned up version, like, you can't clean yourself up.

You could try all you want to, but at what point is it just selfishness and pride that your cleanliness is soiled in.

Yeah.

Well, it's interesting.

So when you look at, like, Galatians 6:2, you know, carry one another's burdens, and this way you fulfill the law of Christ.

Which is interesting about that, is when you think about carrying each other's burdens, and when you think about what scripture has to say about what a real relationship, even from a man and woman, marriage, relationship looks like, it comes down to this.

I'll give you an example of a married relationship.

I'll give you an example of a relationship with God.

If the husband is only worried about the wife's needs, and the wife is only worried about the husband's needs, then everybody's needs are covered.

So when we're carrying each other's burdens, we're helping each other out.

You know, if you and I were to Sit there and, hey, here's what I'm dealing with.

Can you be praying with it?

And you can say, oh, here's what I'm dealing.

Can be praying.

Yeah, I will totally pray for that.

You pray for that.

In that way, we're helping each other.

If that's how a biblical relationship looks like, in the same way, you might ask yourself, what does that look like when it comes to God?

If I'm giving my burdens to him, well, he's gonna give his burden to you.

Only we always lose sight of what his burden for us is, is that we follow him.

He's like, I will carry that for you, and you gotta follow me.

That's my burden for you.

Yeah.

And it's like, that's it.

Yeah, that's it.

That's why my burden is easy and my yoke is light.

You.

You give me your stuff, I'll give you mine.

You just keep following me, and I'll keep handling the rest.

As we love each other.

That's how you love God.

How you love each other is to do just that.

Do that for each other.

Love your friends and let them put it what they need.

There's been moments that you've been very open with me, with some of the things you felt right.

And I can handle that for you because I love you.

And there's times where I've been able to tell you, hey, this is where I've been.

That's part of being a friendship.

And as we continue to go in our friendship, I'm sure we'll carry much more of that for each other.

Sure.

In ways that we can't even think of right now.

But that's how we get deeper in our friendship.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And, you know, the whole.

The concept of, you know, the yeah, I'm good mentality, that's very much along those lines of the whitewashed tombs.

Mm.

Right.

Look good on the outside.

We act good on the outside, but on the inside, we're just dying.

We're not to be there, you know?

Yeah.

So I don't know, man.

Your wife was totally just calling you.

My wife is totally just calling.

She's ready to give me some burden.

I was kidding.

I'm telling her.

I'm telling.

Totally telling her.

If she listens to this, she's gonna.

Hear the whole thing.

So the last thing that the person wrote in was, I know I have to be broken in order to grow.

And that's so true.

You have to at least have a broken knee.

Right.

Or in other words, a Bended knee.

Like you have to make sure that he is on the throne of your life in order for you to be able to grow.

Because as long as we're sitting on our throne, like there's no growth happening.

So I really appreciate the listener being vulnerable and writing into us.

I hope that everyone listening can learn a little bit from, from what they're going through as well.

And if you got stuff you got that you're going through, let us know.

Yeah, I mean we want to pray with you for you.

I mean if you've got a certain issue that you're going through that you need help, you know, talking out or.

If you just have.

Would like to hear your some thoughts on a subject.

Like if you.

It doesn't have to necessarily be something that you're going through.

It could be something that someone else is going through or it could just be something that you happen to think about.

What do you guys think about this?

I'd love to hear you guys thoughts on this.

And we love any and all subjects.

This is just a really great thing when it comes to God is always working.

First off, we love to hear how God is working in your life and what you guys are struggling with, but also what you might be finding some victories in.

That's awesome stuff.

That's really encouraging and we love to be able to help you guys or even celebrate with you.

So yeah, just bring it all, bring it all so that we can continue to.

It's a way we can help serve you and honor you.

But it's also maybe, who knows, we could be helping someone else too.

Yeah.

So don't forget to like subscribe, share, comment.

And we have Patreon.

Yep, Patreon, Patreon.

Everything in one place.

Patreon, which is awesome.

There's.

If you're at that five dollar level, you get to see all the videos.

All the extra everything's the rabbit hole that we're getting ready to record here in the next couple of weeks.

We were gonna record it and then I forgot so I didn't forget to do it.

I just.

There was pieces of the machinery that I forgot to.

I'd like to try to.

I'd like to try to be there if I can.

That would be fun.

I like the some of the thoughts that we have or you have.

I shouldn't say we on that.

I think it's cool.

So it'll be fun.

It'll be different.

It'll be.

It'll be very different.

So very different.

Remember to be open minded when it Comes to listening to that one and watching that one, men's and women's podcast, there's been a lot of crazy going on.

I'm not sure when exactly we're gonna be able to get those, but as soon as we can, it'll be there.

And I think, I think it's gonna be soon.

There's been talks about times that have been opening up, but just bear with us.

Appreciate the patience that you've got with us.

And also if you're at the higher levels, at the $10 tier, you get to start listening or seeing the, the devotional that I put out weekly, it's five day devotional, just started adding a little bit more to it and it actually goes along with the episode that comes out that Monday.

So you can kind of walk through your week with that thought with us.

And then at that, that higher level that, that $20 level, you get t shirt after three months.

And we just had some of our listeners get their T shirt and was wearing it and showing it off the other day, so swag.

That was cool.

So thank you guys for, for just supporting us.

We're still trying to figure out how all of that looks and how all of that works, but you guys are amazing and we appreciate all the love.

Yes, we love you too.

Let God work on you.

Be vulnerable.

Let your walls down.

Because God is so much bigger than anything that you're going to face.

He's bigger than those giants.

He's bigger than those storms.

He's bigger than the waves.

So just let your guard down and let God drive your ship.

God bless.

Hey, thanks for joining us.

Make sure to subscribe and give us a like on itunes and Spotify so that you will never miss a show.

And while you're at it, check out our Facebook and Instagram Instagram pages and make sure you tell your friends about this show.

You don't want them to miss out on the truth.

Because we are all about the truth.

Thanks for joining us this week and God bless.