Each week, I bring you 5 practical and engaging tips on a

specific topic. I hope you find them relevant and

relatable, and we'll come back for more. Ready for today's

episode? Then let's go.

Hey girl. Welcome back to aging with grace and style.

Today. We're talking about body image, a topic that

hits home for many of us. We're bombarded with

messages that were never quite enough, not thin enough,

not young enough, just not enough.

Well enough already of the not enough. I'm calling

it. We're enough as we are. So

grab your favorite drink and let's get into it.

You know, I've spent countless mornings in

front of the mirror, picking myself apart, critiquing

every inch. We all have those voices

telling us we don't measure up. Maybe it's a

few wrinkles that we fixate on. Maybe it's stretch

marks, whatever it is. These become

our perceived flaws, but

our bodies tell the stories of our lives. Shouldn't we

honor them? You know, every

week I drop 5 tips to help you and

me navigate through a topic. So let's start with our

first tip. It's challenge

the ideal. So let's start

by challenging the unrealistic beauty standards that

were sold airbrush perfection and magazines and

online. They're not our reality.

Step 1 in our journey to self love is

curating our media intake.

Let's call it that I'm not picking on social

media because I'm on there every day, By the way,

if you aren't following me, you can do so at, I am

Valerie Hatcher on all social media channels. But

anyway, I digressed. If your social feed

is filled with images that may trigger you to feel bad about

yourself, Like, you know, maybe people who have

flawless skin, like not one

wrinkle, but they say they're 70

and they look 30 or people who have long thick hair in

your sustaining people who have maybe the best

toned bodies and say they never work out. I know you get

what I mean. We each have our own triggers.

Then here's what I want you to do.

Unfollow those accounts that skew these

perceptions and seek out real

diverse beauty. It's refreshing and it's far more

relatable. Today in my pastor's

message. He said something that has stuck with me. It said

perception can be a deception, And

that is certainly true. Let's talk

about my story. So when I was having hip

issues and I wasn't mobile, I

gained weight more than I would have wanted

And more than what made me feel healthy,

I would lose a few pounds and then I'd gain it back. So

fast forward, I had hip replacement surgery surgery

in, 2022. And I just knew

that after the surgery and once I was mobile and able to

work out again, the weight would drop off. Well, it

didn't. Part of the issue was hormones.

Part was me eating the wrong things, not getting in

enough protein, not drinking enough water,

just a host of things. And I

kept trying, but it has

been a long, slow

journey of losing weight, but it finally clicked

and I've actually started to drop it.

Okay. So we're friends, right? So let me be honest with you.

Before I lost weight, I didn't feel good about my body

at all. It affected everything, how

I dressed, how I carried myself and at

times even affected my attitude. I just,

I mean, I wasn't happy with me. And then

once I started to lose weight, I felt healthier. I

had more energy. I liked how my clothes looked

on me. My mood was boosted, but

then new questions arose. I don't think that

people realize how long I have been working

on my weight and that while to them,

it seemed like it happened overnight. To me, it certainly

didn't. Sometimes the,

you look so great. Comments actually made me feel insecure.

Like maybe my former self wasn't

worthy enough or that I really must

have looked bad. So here's

a good one for you. I had one person say,

if I were to see you on the street,

I wouldn't even know it was you because you're just

wasting away. Wasting?

Really. But the bad part was that these comments

then made me question

my weight loss. I recall I was asking my husband, I asked my

son, I asked my hairstylist and I asked my friend, do I look

sick or something since I lost weight?

And this feeling was based on the reactions of

people. Now what's funny is

I'm really back to the weight I was 6 years ago, except a lot of

these people who are making these comments, they

didn't know me then. But what this has taught me is

that body love is a

process. It's not a destination.

So here's the question for you. What's one

part of your body that you struggle with.

Maybe it's your stomach or your thighs.

Now consider what does that part

do for you? Our bodies just aren't

meant to be looked at. They're

incredible machines. So try focusing on

what yours allows you to do. Tip number

2, close as friends and

not foes. So what we wear

matters instead of clothes that make you feel blah,

seek out pieces that boost confidence. This

was one of my problems when I was unhappy with my weight. I didn't like

the clothes that I wore. Most things were black. Cause you know,

they say black is supposed to be slimming. I tried

to camouflage what I saw and that I didn't like.

So choose clothes that express how you want to

feel strong, beautiful, bold.

It's about feeling good in your own skin.

Now here's the tip. Yes, it's a tip within the

tip. How about doing a mini

closet cleanse, donate the items

that make you feel less than great.

Tip number 3, speak kindly to

yourself. Now, this is where I think that we can

make a shift with that internal dialogue about our

bodies. Have you ever noticed how you talk

about your body to yourself?

For some of us, it can be harsh. I've said this

in a recent episode and I say it again here.

We wouldn't talk to a friend the way we talk to ourselves.

So why do we let the inner critic just

run wild? Here's what I want you to

Start noticing those negative thoughts when they pop

up, question them or even reframe

instead of, I hate my thighs. How about

my legs are strong and they take me where I want to

go for this. I'm grateful. Find

one thing that you can appreciate about your body.

Even if it's small, let that be your starting

point. How do you feel about

affirmations? I know they can

feel a little weird or even silly,

but I really think they can be helpful. Try

something like I am beautiful inside

out. I think affirmations can

truly rewire your perception over

time. Now here's something else to try

the post it note method. I've seen people

who write simple appreciation comments on a post it

note and stick it on their mirror. Some

add to it every day. So they may have a mirror with post it

notes all around it while others may change out that

post it note daily. But just imagine you're looking into the

mirror. And when you look at yourself,

you also read a positive post it note.

Now I haven't tried this one since I shared the bathroom mirror with my husband,

but I'm thinking I might try it on the

mirror in my office. Why don't you join me?

Tip number 4, let's shift

gears to something. That's

just not about what we see, but how

we feel. So tip number 4 is all about let's call

it joy movement. Movement shouldn't

be a punishment for what you ate or an

exhausting chase after a certain body type.

It's about celebrating what your body can

do. Finding joy in motion,

whether that dancing in your living room,

taking a leisurely walk in nature or

practicing yoga to connect with yourself. It's

time. We start moving for joy and gratitude and

not guilt or obligation, listen to your

body and let it guide you to the types

of movement that make you feel alive and joyful.

Finally, tip number 5, find your tribe

journeying towards body. Love is more

enriching with the supportive tribe. The battle is

easier with allies, find women who

uplift you and who you can be real with

And they with you, it's transformative to have a

community that mirrors the love and the acceptance that we're trying to

cultivate. Now, body love

won't happen overnight and that's okay. Progress.

Isn't always linear.

Body love won't happen overnight and that's okay.

Progress. Isn't always linear. Some days

it'll be easier than others. What matters is showing

up for ourselves, being gentle and

remembering how amazing our bodies are.

And there you have it. Friend 5 tips to help you

build a loving relationship with your body and embrace the journey

of self love from challenging

unrealistic beauty standards to finding joy in movement.

It's all about transforming our mindset

and actions to celebrate the incredible beings that we are.

Remember loving yourself and your body.

It's an ongoing journey. It's it's filled with ups and

downs. I believe that every step you

take towards acceptance and kindness is a step

towards a happier, more fulfilled you.

So keep challenging the norms, keep moving with

joy. And most importantly, keep loving

yourself fiercely and unapologetically.

Here's what I want you to do this week. Pick just one

of these tips and give it a try. Notice any

shifts in how you feel about yourself. Share your

experiences with me via voice message at pod dot

aging with grace and style dot com until next

time. Remember you are beautiful.

You are strong and you are so worthy of

love inside and out. Keep going

girl. Thank

you so much for joining me for 5 to Thrive Tuesday. If you haven't

already done so, please subscribe so that you don't miss an episode.

If you enjoyed this segment, please rate, review, and share it with

a friend. Let's stay connected on Instagram,

Facebook, and or threads at I am Valerie Hatcher,

or email me at hello at aging with grace and style dot

com. Until next time, let's continue to age with

grace, style, and a touch of sass.