Hello listeners and welcome back to The Science of Self, where you improve your life from the inside out. Our guest today is Sonya Figueiredo. She's coming to us all the way from Australia. I'm way up here in Atlanta. If you can see the map on my desktop, uh, Sonya is a long ways away. We appreciate her joining us. Uh, what, like almost a 12 hour difference I believe. Sonya, thank you for being here today. Please introduce yourself to our listeners.

Thanks Russell. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be here with you. As Russell said, I'm Sonya Figueiredo and my company's name is Mindful Transitions and I am a coach predominantly for women, and I work with professional, uh, women in corporate, in the corporate world. However. I have had over 20 years working in high stakes, multi-billion dollar projects, complex procurements with men. In fact, there was 10 years where I was the only female there. So if you talk about male energy, I understand it. Can't say I've lived it, but I do understand it and what I teach. It works with both men and women.

And

yeah, that's me in a nutshell.

can you give us some kind of idea of what industry it was, what they dealt with?

It was mostly government and it was large procurements. I worked for one of them, it was a mobile hospital and we are talking massive. We are talking, um, up to surgery units. So it was not just the external hospital. It was all the machines and everything that went ping. So you could imagine the complexity there of getting that through, and I ran it all.

Wow. Okay. So, uh, yeah, that's, that's a lot. You start dealing with hospitals, uh, a lot, lot that goes on in many, many different areas. So thanks for clearing that up for us. Um, tell us about Mindful Transitions, a company that you started.

Yeah, mindful Transitions was born last year. I had essentially been a mentor for, for many years, and I woke up one morning, well, actually it was about 18 months ago, I got sick. You know, when you run on adrenaline for such a long time and at such a fast pace, eventually your body. If you're not listening to it, gives you a wake up call. And mine did. I ended up in hospital, thought I was having a heart attack. My husband drove me at 2:00 AM in the morning to the to emergency. Don't do it. Always call an ambulance, but we are only five minutes down the road. So we got to hospital and it turned out that I have atrial fibrillation, which is where my heartbeat, when I was admitted, was 170 beats per minute, which is really fast. And, uh, for three days I was there and eventually they told me if they couldn't bring it down, they were going to have to essentially stop my heart to restart it again. And you can imagine everything that was going in on my mind because it was like, oh, wow, even though my kids are grown, you know, they're not done yet. They, they haven't got their life partners. They've only just finished university, which is college in America. And then it was like, well, what's my husband going to do? All those things that, you know, anyone would go through at that time. And I just went, I just went. My business, my line of work is killing me. And I was getting to the age where it was like, what the heck? What is life all about? Anyway, you start questioning as you start transitioning. You know, I'm in my fifties, and you just go, wow, what am I doing? You know, is the daily grind, is the burn, is the stretch in all directions worth it? So that was my wake up call. I literally got out of hospital, did a lot of research, and within 48 hours I had signed up to an international coaching college that's accredited, not only here in Australia, but accreditation in, in the world. And I just went women. Well, I, I was attracted to women purely because I know women and. Maybe because I had been in an environment that I've worked with men all these years, I decided to focus on women. But funnily enough, even just yesterday, I sat across from A CEO who's male because I understand, you know, the dynamics and what. But my language translates to men often because I have seen it and observed from a different perspective. So yeah, mindful transitions, corporate women, we don't just teach tools and not into leadership tools just for the sake of leadership tools. You can learn them, you can pick up a book, you can, um, go to. A two day seminar and learn what you need to know about leadership. The challenge is putting it into place consistently, and what I mean about that is we have conditionings, we're all been brought up a certain way, and we have conditionings from our family lineage, or you have some trauma. And those leadership tools do not work if you are triggered sitting in a boardroom or if you are feeling out of sorts, because then you can't regulate your emotions. And so the work that I do, we go deep and we. Try to focus on what is stopping someone from breaking into, you know, breaking that glass ceiling or stopping them from being consistent. And also teach them the language of rapport that goes deeper than what most tools will give somebody. But that's what we do.

Mindful transitions, uh, you refer to neurolinguistic programming in your, uh, in your materials as well. Is your approach to, can I call it counseling or therapy or just coaching? Is it based on NLP? Does it draw some things from NLP or is it, uh, a hybrid of of that and maybe other practices?

Yeah, good question. Uh, yes, predominantly NLP Uh, the college that I have gone through goes just a little bit higher. It takes a hybrid of the best of the best, but I am certified in NLP and I'm just completed certification in quantum coaching as well. So. That. What that means is we take NLPA lot of the breathing, a lot of the exercises, but then we bring the client down to the cellular level to regulate the nervous system. Though I can't promise anyone that I can fix something, but what I can do is promise that I can. Help them recognize what's going on and give them the tools that they can use in the moment, or if it shows up, it's a blip of a recognition as opposed to spiraling back into those old habits.

Hmm. Okay, great. Can you give us, um. A definition of NLP and maybe what parts of that are most predominant in your quantum transitions? I'm sorry, mindful transitions or, um, quantum methodologies

Yeah. Sure. Um, essentially your, your linguistic programming is rewiring your thought patterns. You know, it's not woo woo. It's not something that, you know, we are not taking you out into the back of the room and doing some magical things and bringing you back, but it's just understanding those thought PR patterns and addressing them and rewiring them. So when it you. I presented with a triggering situation, you know what to do. And some of that is through breathing techniques. Some of that is what we call anchoring techniques, which I absolutely love. And it's a simple exercise of I will bring my client to a state of. Where they can recall something that's happy, a happy time for them, and it's worked in about five to 10 minutes. And then I ask them to do it every day until it is embedded in their neuro pathways. And so when they have something that makes them feel uncomfortable, they're starting to have rapid breath or. Erratic thoughts. They can call on this moment and within about three to five seconds, they'll feel their si nervous system start calming down. That's a beautiful practice. Also, do your, you know, your typical box breathing. So if you are sitting in a meeting. And things were getting a little bit uncomfortable and you needed to focus a bit more. It's a simple, you know, look at a window for instance, and, and breathe as you follow the lines around the corners and it just gets you back to yourself. So that's some of the things I do. Quantum will take my client down further, and that is taken. Say series of up to six or seven coaching sessions. It's an hour to two hours each time. We start off by not even really asking a question. I start off with breathing, take them through a visual exercise. And I ask them to listen to their body, where their senses, what's coming up for them. And we go from there and I will take them back to their earliest memory. And if sometimes it goes even further than that, it's not even necessarily their earliest memory, it's just a primal thought that they are feeling. And we work through that.

are you a hypnotist? Do you do any of that work or is it just a super relaxation that you referred to earlier?

Sure. Um, well, you know, with, with with Milton language and all that, that is all based on, he was, you know, famous. Um, and he did do hypno, hypnotism through language essentially. So we, I do use a lot of Milton language depending on the situation and depending on if any trauma actually comes up, because it will bring the client into. A relaxed state, which allows me to go a little bit deeper than what some people are able to do. But funnily enough, you mentioned that in November of this year, I will actually be qualified in that area where we do use more trauma and uh, advanced methods, which includes the hip, the hypnosis.

When you're working with someone and you find out it's not just an an, and I don't wanna minimize anxiety, but when it's more than just an anxiety or an unsettlement, but you realize there is a trauma that takes a completely different direction than in the treatment or in the therapy, does it Not?

100%, yes. All the, all the tools go out the window and we, we, and you know, it's. The interesting thing with, so the differences between coaching and psychology, one is obviously the degree, but it's also we don't just have one methodology that we use. And when it comes to trauma. You know, some people think that trauma is something terrible and something physical has happened to somebody, and that obviously is one thing that can have happened. But when you're a child and you are around about four or six, all of a sudden the conditions that could have been used with you in your child rearing, for instance, I had a detached mother. I was born premature and for my first seven months of my life, I was in a cold, sterile environment, uh, in a humidity crib. And so I had the fight flight instinct wired into me from the day I was born. My mother had detachment because she couldn't hold me, and she had. What I believe now is would've been, you know, depression and postnatal depression with that. And so my child bringing was upbringing was, even though she loved me, the connection was very different. And so my trauma and what came became hyper independence was from a very young age. And when you are working with somebody with whatever trauma is presenting, sometimes that it's the first time when they realize it in a coaching session and it's a gentle nego, non negotiations, a gentle walking alongside them, helping them navigate, taking them as far as the body is ready to. And that can happen over a series of three or four sessions before you actually get to where they're comfortable. To be able to go a little bit further and then actually address the root cause. You just dunno what's going to come up.

Just from the, the last few minutes, there is NLP process a more relationship. Dependent process in therapy or in counseling than maybe CBT or some of the others would be. It sounds like you, I mean you, you mentioned you're walking side by side down a path with a person, so you're right there with them. And it's not always the case in therapies, is it?

No. No, it's not. Yeah, it's it in a lot of therapies. It's, here's the tools. I'm going to tell is it therapy is a lot of the times is sort of a mix between a mentor and a coach, and normally it's like, yep, I can see where you're coming from. I think this tool will work. Go try that, or you will challenged the person with my coaching practice. Depending on what the client wants, because some corporate people, all they want is to be mentored and I'll switch it up and I'll do that. But in order for things to work consistently, it is walking alongside them. I steer them, I walk with them, and they come to their own conclusions. I'll challenge them though, and that's the difference. Yeah.

you said your, your health scare, your AFib occurred 18 months ago. Is that correct? And you. So from recovering from that and in that timeframe you've made, did you have exposure to NLP and the work before that or has all that happened since?

Great question. It pretty much has happened in the last 18 months, but a lot of what I do that's pretty in. Thank you. I, I threw myself into it. It was, you know, you get to a point for me when I was lying in the hospital, I was like, well, what's going to happen? You know, do I want to live where I'm managing my condition or do I want to live fully and not have to worry about my condition? Because for about two months afterwards, you know, I was listening to. I read all the research. I listened to audio books. I looked at the science base behind natural fibrillation because it's happening a lot earlier now. Pe uh, young people will get it as early as 30, whereas it used to be condition of people in their eighties.

Oh,

and because we all apparently, and now don't quote me on this, but it's something scary. Like 90% of people by the time you're 80, will get that condition. But what's happening now, because we are in a society when no one gets rest, and what do I mean by no one gets rest? Well, you know, we're always on our phones. We've always got blue light around us. We are not interacting and slowing down like we used to. You know how. 10, 15 years ago, we would go and sit at a coffee shop and have a leisurely coffee with a friend, and it would maybe go for an hour or two hours. Now the interaction is done behind a screen mostly, and so you go from the workplace onto your phone and you're sitting in your bed and late at night, 11 o'clock at night. Still scrolling. So our nervous system is not resting. And what they're finding is actual fibrillation is starting at an earlier age. And there's been quite a few cases at 30. So when I was going through that long story, I apologize. Um, it just got me thinking that things had to change 'cause I was getting myself into a real anxious state and you know, I was getting quite morbid with my thoughts and it was like, no, hang on. I have to change this. And that's when I had to, I realized like, okay, if I am going to do the work on myself and I'm going to get my center where it needs to be, and I've gotta tell you it's the strongest it's ever been. I've sadly, I've lost some friends along the way, and that's purely because I'm not the person they felt safe with. And when I, when I say not safe with, when you get your friendship group, you normally gravitate to people for a reason, and mostly that is because you feel comfortable and familiar with them. And now this Sonya shows up a lot stronger and it's, Sonya won't hesitate in saying something. And so, you know, I've lo I've, I've lost people along the way. But what I'm doing now is I'm attracting, attracting like-minded people, which is a lovely journey in itself. But yes. So 18 months, that's, that's been my journey and I've, uh, worked hard at getting the certifications that I've got. I'm still learning though, you. I've got in most probably until around January next year until I've gone as far as I want to go. But every time I see something else, I'm going, yes, I can bring that into my practice. Let me learn it.

from your website you mentioned, and I'm just gonna read from the website, you're fostering, helping individuals or women specifically in fostering deeper connections in all facets of life. Paving the way for improved relationships and purpose driven living. Is purpose the. The, the thing you start with or the thing you move to, or is it just they're, they're all equal and you work on them at the same, like, can you clear up some of that for me please? Yes,

sure. Absolutely. Like when I start with a client, of course I'm going to ask them their why. So at the base level, it, it is about their purpose, what their why is. But 90% of the time I'll find that why when they first came is not their actual why. And what I mean by that is people will come with safe problems. People will come with their external, what they project to the world, because that feels safe to them, but they won't show up with their internal problems and what's really going on. All the things that they, they push. Deep down or to the background and they don't want to address them. So what I like to do is work on their relationship with themselves first, and once their relationship with, they bring themselves to a place of trust because it's actually scary to think that a lot of people who do search out coaching or counseling. Really do not have a relationship of trust with themselves. Everything has been done on unconscious living and they're running on autopilot, and if they're dismissing something, it's because it's bringing something up on the in themselves and they're not trusting what they will do with that. So that's what I bring them back. I bring them back to trust of self in their relationships. And then of course that will pivot out to their external relationships. And then from there, the why or the purpose that they started off with is more than often than not, not what it ends up with.

Very good. I hadn't. I've never heard it expressed that way, but I, I appreciate that because that is exactly true. What, as you say, what their why is, um. We challenge our listeners regularly through the podcast on understanding your why, your purpose, your your mission, what, however you wanna term term it. Um, but to sit down with someone fresh and try to get to that in one, in one conversation is, uh, pretty difficult, I imagine for them as well as for you.

It absolutely is. You know, some people think it's just, uh, let me do one session and I'm good to go. Uh, it doesn't work that way. You know, of course we, I can do a hyper session of 90 minutes, but I can guarantee you they'll come back. So, and she's fun. Go on. Sorry. No, I was just thinking actually as I'm talking and you, I know your listeners are predominantly men. Uh. Male energy and female energy is coming to mind right now. And I don't know if you know a lot about male energy and female energy and what the difference is. No,

no, not formally, no.

Okay. So we, we are all born with ma masculine and feminine energy. Feminine energy is basically based on chaos. And so we're very chaotic and we are really good at doing a lot of things all at one time. Doesn't necessarily mean we're good at doing it, but we can do a lot. Men come from a place of center, so if you think of an ocean where the water is choppy and constantly moving, and then a ship on top of the ocean, so it's the feminine and the masculine.

Okay, great. And

sometimes, yeah, and sometimes when we become unstuck or for leaders, you know, constantly in that steady state, they need a little bit of that feminine mix up to be the leader that comes into being. That shows up very differently, leads very differently, and can relate to. Everyone that they work with in, in their leadership role.

Great. Thank you. Um, you, you talked about briefly, uh, anchoring, is it something that can be self-learn or, or are there some things that can be picked up? Do you offer anything, a self-study course or a self-improvement information?

Sure, absolutely. Um, there is a 10 week course that can be done and it's sent weekly, and it is a mixture of, uh, self-based, uh, exercises, meditation, a whole mixture of things. The, what I normally do ask though is during those 10 weeks, I will have two, one-on-one sessions with the client just to check in, see how they're going, what they need. But, uh, there is that, that option there. But you know, it depends on what the. Client is actually after some people go, well, I don't have time for one-on-ones, and I just gimme the course. Like, yeah, I'll just give you the course and that works. And it, you know, it's what somebody needs at that point in time. Mm-hmm. What, what I do find is ultimately after the one-on-ones, a lot, lot of them will come back and circle back around, particularly if they want to go a bit further because I do have a, uh, science based. Assessment that will look at it. It, it's a series of 72 questions, and it comes up with their prominent personality, but not only their personality, also their trait. And when that assessment comes back and we work and go through what it's showing up, what you'll find there, or what I find there is that ultimately to get back into that balance state, it can take around three sessions of one-on-ones. So really depends on what the client is after. I'm not into a one thing fits all. It's all tailored.

Very good. And you do this, uh, remotely for anybody, not just people that are able to visit you in person.

That's right, yes. So Zoom. Zoom is my friend, you know, a bobblehead.

It's opened up the whole world in a lot, in a of good ways.

Yeah, absolutely has. I mean, obviously I'm based in Australia. I have clients in the US so I'm used to getting up at, you know, 3:00 AM in the morning. Mm-hmm. Um, so. It is, you know, this is, for me, coaching is a lifestyle choice. I don't necessarily have a typical nine to five. I'll pick my hours. You know, one-on-ones in person are brilliant, but it's not necessary these days because of the technology we have.

I suspect that you are as busy now in your entrepreneurial. Work and, and the company that you've started and, and this, especially with your studies over the past 18 months, you're putting in as many hours now as you were before in your procurement, uh, professional process, are you not? I, Can you compare the before and after and how it's, it's not the amount of work, obviously.

Right. That's a good question. I'm sure you and your listeners have heard about the masks we wear. So for me, no, you just hit something here. Um Oh, wearing a mask was hard work. It is hard work. It's tiring because you're always on a level of. Protection, shall we say. You know, you wear a mask because you want to keep safe. You're wearing a mask because you either want somebody to see that you are professional and you're always running in that professional mode, or you are wearing a mask because you don't want people to come too close to you, whether you know it or not. So it's, it's, it's a safety mechanism that we wear. When I was in my. Past life, shall we say. I was always wearing a mask. I would even wear a mask with my friends. I used to pride myself as a being a leader who, my team knew me, but they didn't know me. So I would always come to work, put on my suit. There was my armor switched on. I would go. In my friendship life because I had to find that trust in myself, even my friends. And I was driving, uh, only 12 months ago with my daughter in the car, and we were having a conversation and sometimes my mind works quirky, like I'll always work out or, okay, this age, so that means I've got maybe 30, 35 years left. That's really sad, but that's how my mind used to work. And I was saying, you know, I was just having this thought about who would come to my funeral and I'm going, oh my goodness. I don't really have that many friends. And not that that didn't worry me, but it was like, hang on, this is my personality, but these are the only people that I could think of. And I just happened to mention it to my daughter who's in her. Late twenties, and she was like, mom, no one knows you. And I'm going, what do you mean? She goes, come on mom. You know, you presented a certain way even with your friends. You know, you, you never, you have the deep conversations with them, but they're the deep conversations with them, not with you. And so that's what I talk about a mask. So it, it's exhausting. Whereas now ask me anything, you know, I'll be respectful. If, if it's something that I feel that you know is not relevant, I'll certainly tell you that. But hey, bring it on. Ask me. And so it's not tiring anymore.

That's, that's very strong and that, uh. That could be an entire episode in itself. And we have those masks we don't even know about. I mean, we're almost taught to, in, in our society, I think to go to work and present yourself in some way. And then when you're out socially, you present yourself one way. And when you're with your kids, you present yourself in another way or their friends maybe. And, and there's some viability maybe to that. But yeah, it, it is just a bunch of different. Fronts that we have to put on and maintain. When you started talking about masks, it reminded me of the, the saying about, uh, how difficult it is to, to not be truthful in conversations, because you always have to remember, what did I say last time and what, what fronts am I putting on? What am I, how am I supposed to react in this situation instead of as you are now, just, I don't have to remember anything. I just am who I am and, and life. Is handled as it as I wish to handle it now instead of it becoming some overwhelming process that it was before.

Yeah, 100%. And as I said to you, you know, if, if I don't think the question is a appropriate, I'll certainly say that. Whereas I used to dance around it, you know, it's, it's what I call political correctness. And political correctness has a place particularly in business, but. Getting the business done is all about the rapport you build and the trust that you build with a person. And if you can't come from a position where you can answer something that is centered and grounded and truthful to you, then it's not going to work. It works for a time, but it doesn't work forever.

I, I would like you to make a distinction for us, for, for listeners that. Are dealing, uh, with, with issues in their personal development process because it's an, it's an important thing to know when it's some, and we alluded to this earlier, when it's something that I can self-treat or I can not diagnose, but I can read something on it, I can learn about it myself, and I can take care of those things versus. When it's time to seek actual professional help. And there's always stigmas associated really with both, but more with, you know, going somewhere I'm seeing a therapist for some reason, uh, has a negative connotation to a lot of people. Can you clear up some issues there? If an individual is really struggling, how, what kind of advice would you give them to determine whether they sh what path they should take to, to find a room for improvement in their lives?

Okay, firstly, let's, uh, change the stigma. Call it a mentor, particularly for professional men and women mentors feels safe and it has a different perspective. The difference between a mentor and as coaches, we won't just say, you know, do this, do that. We are going to help you get to where you need to go by helping yourself first. You'll wake up if you are staying waking up at 3:00 AM every morning and, and staying awake for several hours if you are finding that you are disconnecting from your relationships. And what I mean by that is if you are sitting, um, across the table from your partner and you are on your phone or they ask a question and you are not. Leaning in and listening to them intently and making it a reciprocal two-way conversation flow. You're probably disconnected if something is coming up for you and you keep pushing it down or you make yourself busy. The busiest people are generally the people. Who are running from something, and I'm not talking about being busy at work. I'm talking about being really busy in all aspects of your life. I can't give you the golden answer for that, but you'll know if you are constantly fighting and avoiding something, the chances are. It's time to address it. And yes, you can read the books. Yes, your YouTube is the most wonderful tool that you can get on and you can look at things. And we all have Google Doctor. Um, you've got those available to us. Even chat, GTP. It's a, it's amazing what chat GTP will come up with these days, but it will only address your problem so far. Yeah, and I've gotta tell you, even coaches have coaches. I have several coaches that I work with for myself. Yeah. So you can go so far without a coach, but there comes a point in your time that I'm going, Hey, what are you losing out on? You know, what's it going to cost you? Maybe one session to see if it's going to work for you. You know what? What is the cost of not trying it versus what is the cost for you? If you try it and it works and you know you're seeing my energy, imagine bringing this energy in whatever aspect of your life each and every day, and it doesn't feel hard anymore.

Your first statement, I think, is very powerful There. People brag about, yeah, I found a mentor. I'm working with a mentor, or I have a, I hired a personal coach. But very seldom would someone come out and say, I'm going to see a therapist. And there's no reason for that, except for societal norms or whatever we wanna put onto it as a stigma. So I think it's a fantastic point. Thank you for, for putting it that way. I know you work with your daughter, uh, she seems to be pretty insightful just from this, the one story you shared with us about she understood some things about yourself that you hadn't recognized yet, but you work with her in some aspects. You give speeches together and talk about generational differences. Can you tell us a little bit about that? Relationship that, that working process, what you do with her?

Yeah, sure. Um, you can look her up. She was, uh, so I, I'm based in Canberra, so she was the, uh, Canberra representative of, uh, younger Strain of the year last year. She's pretty phenomenal. Yes. And, uh, both, both my kids are actually, my son is a almost a natural born. Coach. He, he works in the filming industry and he's got great rapport. But with my daughter and I, we have started to be invited to do, uh, speaking gigs, if you wanna call it that. And we talk about, uh, intergenerational. Topics and uh, you know, because the problems she faces and the problems that I face, the reality is they're not that much different. Mm-hmm. So we just give a generational perspective on what that looks like. It's pretty phenomenal actually. We we're getting some great feedback just to see the difference and, and obviously we, we don't hide the mother-daughter dynamic, you know, we, uh, we, we show it Watts and all and I think I. I have most probably been a coach long before I was a coach. Um, I've always,

yeah,

always looked at things a little bit differently, and that may be because of the line of work that I had done because strategy. Uh, was, I had to always look at things from a strategy strategic lens, which meant I didn't just look at one side, you know, everything is polarized. You know, for instance, love, hate, you know, uh, grief, happiness. So I would never actually just look at it from, from one direction, and that's basically how my children. Having brought up as well, don't just look at what the problem is because there's always something behind it driving it.

Mm-hmm. Very good. Yes. Thank you. What, uh, for listeners that are interested in this, uh, line of processing, NLP in general coaching, mentoring, you've read, I'm, I'm wagering. You've read a lot of books in the last year and a half, but I'm wagering You've read just as many. Uh, over the course of your life, you, you sound like an eternal learner to me. Uh, I imagine you're always looking to improve and find ways to go. In your experience, do you have three or four books that you could recommend? What, what would be top of your list if someone was looking for further information about any of the topics that we've talked about?

Oh. Now you've got me. Let me just get out my audible it. It's funny, you know, I do read a lot of books and if you saw my audible list, oh my goodness. Um, but they're constantly changing. I think the very first one that I always went back to was, um, or Atomic Habits. Hmm.

Yes. Yeah. James Clearance

Clear? Yes. Yeah. Um, that was, was the first book that I always did go to. Um, I'm sorry. You know, I should know this off by heart. Diary of the CEO is always a good one. In fact, I love those podcasts as well. Um, I, I find those insightful and it transcends both male and female. Um. Unlocking your boundaries. And that's by Faith Harper.

Hmm. I'm not familiar with that one. Not familiar with that one.

Yeah. It's, it's, um, building your relationships through, through yourself. A lot of people don't understand boundaries. In fact, we always think it's a. Well, what, let's just say what we think it is and what it truly is, is very, very different. Mm-hmm. That just gives a different perspective, not only with your relationships, but in your workplace. Even the relationship with yourself, if you can understand that and start with reading that first, then you can go into your leadership books and, um, your, you know, NLP books and everything else. But I, I would suggest go look at that one first.

Locking your boundaries. Great, great. Thanks for those, uh, some I'm familiar with and one a new one to me that I'll have to add to my list. We're getting close to the end. I'll be careful of your time here, but I have two questions that, uh, I always propose at the end and, and I'll give them both to you and let you close out the podcast with answers to these however you wish. One is, do you have a habit stacked during a day of things that you always adhere to? And a second part, um, I'm sure I missed a question that should have been asked, and I'm, I imagine listeners sit here, say, ask her this, ask her this, or you feel that there's a piece of information that I, I should have asked about If you have any final piece of, um, information. A piece of advice, anything that you'd like to share with the listeners, uh, please take as much time as you'd like to, to, to put that out there.

All right, great. Thank you. All right. Let me tell you my morning routine. Firstly, don't reach for your phone when you wake up in the morning. Make yourself, make it a ritual. Make yourself a cup of coffee or a cup of tea, whatever it is that you would normally do. But don't go on the devices because your body actually needs to come back to a place of center after rest. It doesn't need to be wired and switched on straight away. So get up and start your day intentionally, you know, be that as I said, you know, you walk into the kitchen, make yourself a cup of tea, be reflective, think about what your day's going to look like, then go maybe have, have your shower or, or do a workout. I like to start with a somatic release and I'll, I'll do a somatic meditation. And I will start my day off with that. And whatever comes up in the morning during my meditation session, I will then sit and reflect on that. Journaling is a beautiful practice, but I've gotta tell you, journaling has never worked for me. Uh, it's just I don't have the. The patience for it because I'm constantly talking to myself. I'm so, you know, people who have problems with addressing things. Journaling works the best, but, um, so I, it's something I will always tell my clients to do if it works for them. What I find works for me actually is just using the notes on my phone if I really need to get something out. I'll just, uh, speak it. Verbalization for me is the best way to go, but that's how I normally start my morning. And then throughout the day I have two beautiful standard poodles and they need walking. So, uh, they are my exercise buddies and we'll take them out for about a 40 minute walk. And again, that's just bringing me back to center because if. Even when in my corporate life, I found that, uh, walking meetings or walking around the lake because I wasn't very far from the lake during my lunch hour is what I needed to bring myself back to self. Yes. And if I didn't do those things, I am man. And I was ready to curl up into a fetal position by the end of the day. So I've kept those practices going, you know, getting outside, doesn't matter how cold it is, you know, um, we've got family in, in, um. Montreal. And you know, even when it's been minus 35 when I've been visiting, that's called, I still need to get outside for a bit because, uh, we are not, we are not wired to be indoors all the time. That's when you get sick. So that's my, that's my ritual.

Okay. We, let me interrupt if I could, before you get, before you answer the question I already asked. I apologize for that. Um, can you briefly tell us, what was it? Somatic meditation. Uh, that's a new one to me. Can you explain that in, uh, 30 seconds or less?

Yeah, sure. Um, meditation and somatic. Meditation. It just works on a different vibration, a different cellular level. So meditation is calming of the mind being quiet. Somatic meditation works on various things, like for instance, yesterday I did a trust meditation where I. Sat on a chair and allowed the chair to cap cup and hold me, and it was based on a series of trust. So meditations is normally a calming state with somatic meditation, you are addressing different aspects. So from trust to. Maybe you, uh, need to look at your relationships with money, um, your relationships with family. So it's a whole different set of, um, okay. Meditation that you do.

Okay. And one last thing before, yeah. Okay. Um, and I just wanted to point out the, the benefit of, as you said, voicing something that. Needs to get out, I think was your phrase, just the concept of, and some books we'll talk about, just write it down in a, a worry journal or something else. But it the, just the process of getting it in your mind verbalized or, or on paper through a, the mental process and the physical process of writing it down has therapeutic benefits.

Yeah, a hundred percent. There's a, I think it's Harvard. There was a study done. It was 70% of people who have had that process of journaling or verbalization actually are a lot calmer and stable within their own self. Um, I'm writing a book, uh, at the moment. It's called Good Girl Be Gone, it will be released in December. And that's based on my own memoirs, but it has coaching in each section and what I'm finding is it's quite cathartic, I guess. My book is becoming my journal. It's amazing what comes up. So yeah, 70%, um, effective rate. Based on studies. So it's, it's definitely something. And if it's not by writing my pen, as I said, you know, for me it's just speaking into my phone just

right, right. This, the same, the same concept and the same benefit as well. Thank you for that. And I apologize for interrupting. I'll let you give it a final closing thought here and then we'll sign off for our listeners.

All right. Closing thought to me is, and this was based on a conversation I had yesterday with a male client. Uh, he asked me. How to talk to his partner because she would just feel the need to, what I call data dumping, where, you know, she just shows up and she'll, she'll just go, oh, I need to talk about this. And he is like, well, it has no concept. And he goes, do I need to fix it? No, you don't need to fix it. You just need to listen. But at the same time, what women are looking for is for men to. Speak to and isn't that what we're all looking for? We are looking for the conversation at how whatever level it comes up at. A lot of men, and I'm just generalizing here, because some women, when they don't feel safe, do it too, will get to an answer really quickly and then just be done with it. Get uncomfortable. Get uncomfortable with your conversations. You know, it's not that the conversation's uncomfortable, but you might be feeling a little uncomfortable when you feel uncomfortable and you start allowing yourself to talk about the things that is really going on. Mm-hmm. That's when the magic happens, not only in your relationships, but in in yourself. So get uncomfortable.

Not much happens within your comfort zone. Thank you very much, listeners. This is Ben, Sonya, Figaredo, author, soon to be published, author, entrepreneur, uh, public speaker, so many, uh, counselor, coach, mentor, so many labels, uh, to help describe you and we greatly appreciate your time. If you're looking for further information, you can check out Sonya Figueiredo coach.com. Right? I had a something over the.co.com there, as well as, uh, several, uh, other social media outlets that you can find, uh, by searching I'm sure. Just for Sonya Figueiredo. Thank you for your time. Really appreciate you being with us and hope you have great success with your upcoming book and your continuing businesses.

Thank you Russell. I appreciate your time and please reach out to me, uh, listeners, if you feel that my style of coaching, uh, works for you, let's have a conversation.

Thank you very much. Thank you very much.