Welcome to The Real Moms Playbook, where balanced becomes a lifestyle brought to you by our Premier Sponsor, Earthley Wellness. Your life doesn't have to be a hot mess and in season one, I will be taking you on your own intentional transformation. So grab your Playbook and let's get going.

All right and welcome to Episode Seven of The Real Moms Playbook. I'm your host, Lisa Autry.

Today's episode is titled starve of your demons, fuel your fire as we kick your negative self to the curb and step into the beautiful soul that I know is within.

As usual, let's take a moment to thank our wonderful premier sponsor of this podcast, Earthley Wellness. Anyone that knows me knows I will never support a product that I do not personally use and Earthley is found all over my home. I started with their detergent after months of searching for a detergent that was non-toxic, but also sustainable. And now Earthley can be found all over my home, from the oils and soaps to moisturizers and Sun Shield. Make sure you check out this amazing company within the show notes located under Sponsors.

Starve your demons, fuel your fire is honestly my favorite chapter in my book.

It's the one that speaks to me on such a deep level and has personally pulled me through challenging situations throughout my life. It's the chapter that taught me perseverance. It's the chapter that taught me self love. It's the chapter that made me more of an optimist, which is who I always aspire to be.

A confident mom raises confident children and confidence comes from loving ourselves wholly and completely.

This doesn't mean we can't see our flaws and work on them, but it means understanding who we are as women and owning our power. Our belief grants us the ability to accomplish what seems like the impossible.

I'm here today to talk to you about your feelings towards yourself. Your relationship with your best self. We are what we reiterate to ourselves, and if we are constantly negative, how much do you think you will successfully conquer in this life?

Fun fact, we think upwards of 60,000 thoughts a day and nearly 80% of them are negative.

We aren't doing ourselves any favors, are we?

To be honest, I feel like I think 60,000 thoughts before noon, but we'll just go off of the average, okay?

With 80% of them being negative, that means we are thinking 48,000 negative thoughts every single day. What do you think that does to our mental health?

Our society is negative by nature and is powered by fear-driven thoughts, which ensnares us to do the same in our own life. Life is full of fumbles, but that doesn't mean we aren't worthy or that we are unsuccessful moms. Sometimes life just happens, ladies. Kick that Negative Nancy with those silly thoughts from your head.

Society needs you to be less than, so it can tell us what we want and need, instead of us knowing that for ourselves.

We are born warriors and somewhere along the way, we forgot that about ourselves.

This episode is broken into two parts. Part one, starve your demons. Part two, fuel your fire.

Each part has a challenge that I want you to complete that's going to take you to the next level.

Now, remember you're going to open your book and do this in conjunction with the episode itself, because I'm asking you different things in the book from the podcast. So read the chapter and then come and listen to the episode.

So first we're gonna start part one, starving your demons through redirecting.

I love this quote by David J. Schwartz. It says, "Those who believe they can move mountains, do; those who believe they can't, cannot. Belief triggers the power to do."

This means you are what you think you are. If your thoughts are always negative, you are pulling yourself back on your potential. You are denying yourself the ability to live your own greatness, your desired legacy.

Starving your demons means putting those negative thoughts in their place so that you can move forward positively in your life. It means opportunity. It means potential. It means activating affirmations to rise into our best selves.

Now it's time to paint a positive picture of yourself so you can build the framework of a positive, peaceful, and content life. This is done through action and affirming the great things about yourself that are true.

Your challenge to redirect yourself and starve those demons is by placing affirming beliefs everywhere in your life.

Today I want you to write five truths about yourself. Maybe they are five things that you are currently working on and aren't fully living them yet. That's okay, it doesn't make them a lie or any less true.

I want you to make all five of these statements "I am" statements.

So here's a couple of examples so that you can understand how to create these "I am" statements.

Examples can be, I am resilient in the pursuit of my purpose. I am becoming financially free by putting my values first. I am a leader by leading my life with intention and love. I am a patient mother by pausing when I'm feeling pressure.

Place these five "I am" statements different places in your home. Each time you pass by them, read it aloud and ask yourself, "how can I fully live this affirmation?"

This is all about reaffirming and redirecting from negative thoughts. If you put positivity in your life, you're going to start living more positively.

I want you to do this for one week or longer, if you wish with those five statements. Afterward, I want to challenge you to do something. I actually want you to email me at info@thedaughterdiary.com and tell me how they made you feel. Tell me what your "I am" statements were and how you challenged yourself to lead life with them.

And you also get bonus points if you post your experience on Instagram and Facebook and then tag The Daughter Diaries, I would love to share your process analysis.

Then do another five and continue on, we're building that positivity and it doesn't occur in just a week or just two weeks, this is an ongoing change throughout our lives.

Then I want to make sure you go to page 78 in The Real Moms Playbook and do the 10 activated affirmations that include the belief system, the action and the reflection. This will help close the loop on your belief through reiterating via the action and affirming with the reflection.

Those that I listed in the book were some of my favorite affirmations to help you step into your greatness.

Your brain is plastic, so we can reshape our perception and thoughts on life. Neuroplasticity means we have the ability to change our nervous system's activity in response to situations by reorganizing the functions or connections of those neuro pathways.

Activated affirmations are the perfect start to reshaping that connection and belief system.

Really quick, before we move on to part two, fuel your fire, let's take our first break. Be right back.

And we are back.

Now onto part two, fuel your fire.

I love this quote by George Bernard Shaw, "Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."

Everyone is great at something. You can be great at a lot of things, but there's always something that makes us super special and unique. A passion that sets our soul on fire and makes us feel truly alive.

You've decluttered your home and mind. You've become the queen of your routine. You have started your journey towards living a healthy, balanced life.

And now it's time to fuel your fire with something that makes you jump out of bed in the morning.

There's five steps to begin pursuing your passion in life. This can be pursuing a passion for a monetary gain, but also can just be an exploration of your interests and inner dialogue for the sake of your own happiness.

Many of us drop things we enjoy when we have kids, because we feel like we don't have enough time, but through this intentional transformation, you are granted more time again to begin diving deeper in your life.

I dive in deeper on each of these within the book starting on page 84, but today I'll be giving you each of the steps.

So here's the first one. Step one, look deeper on your values.

I keep talking about those values over and over again. I know it feels redundant and I know it feels annoying, but it's purposeful and intentional, right?

It's because when you lead an aligned life with what's most important to you, it's one that's fulfilling, purposeful, and peaceful.

The best is when you intertwine and align them with daily actions, it uplifts you and gives you meaning.

On page 84, I want you to be doing the deep dive on all five values, as well as answer these three questions, get ready to write them down.

I recommend writing them in the back of your book or at the end of the chapter, if you have space.

Number one: what is your interpretation of each value and what is a literal action you can take with them? I'll repeat that one more time. What is your interpretation of each value and what is a literal action you can take with each of them?

Number two: how different would your life look if you put time into your values daily? How different would your life look if you put time into your values daily?

And number three: if you picked one to spend more intentional time on, what would it be and why? If you picked one to spend more intentional time on, what would it be and why?

So I'm going to give you my top five and an example to guide you, so you can see the parallel between the value and living an action-oriented life with those values.

So my number one is health. It means being active in my daily life doing something fun, like hiking and walking. This also helped me realize that becoming a Beachbody Coach all those years ago was important to me for my own personal health, but also to work with others.

Number two, family. This one was the least challenging for me to dive into since it was so literal and my kids are always present. This one made me realize that homeschooling and intentional time with those I love is so important. I honestly never knew I'd be homeschooling, and now I don't think I'd ever not homeschool my girls. It fills not only value two, but also my fifth value every single day.

Number three, meaningful work. To me, this meant connection, outreach, community, even without physical connection. That's what led me to write my book, create The Real Moms Tribe and release this podcast. My mission is to change this world and my mission ultimately draws me back to my value two, family. So I can make a positive impact for my little girls in my family.

Number four, safety and security. Putting time and energy into my finances to make sure we are heading in the right direction that we desire.

And then lastly, my fifth value is education and growth. I always believe in continuing education, which is partly why I wrote a self-help book. This is also another reason why I homeschool and we are always reading aloud over here.

So as you can see, my top five values have action behind them. So when I say a value, I can define what I'm going to do with my time in relationship to those.

And then that takes us to step two: the business of you.

So an important part of this life is not only to hold a belief system about something, but to actually take action within those things. These top five can not only be a passion for you, but also skills for you to fulfill. We want to reiterate our values to our skills and interest, to live a more passionate life.

This is the beginning exploration of how people begin to do things for a living that they love, even if it doesn't seem obvious right now. I want you to spend 15 to 20 minutes jotting down what you are good at and what you love. You can also speak to your spouse, parents, friends, because oftentimes they'll see things about us that we don't even see.

There's no wrong answer here, this is just a brain dump. When I did this, I refound my desire to write and once I took action on that passion, I realized all the impact it really made.

Pair up any items that are related to help us draw correlations. I also want you color coding them based on your values. So give each of your values a color and highlight all the ideas with that color.

So for example, hiking would be blue for my health value and writing would be green for my meaningful work value. This connects what you are passionate about with what is important to you.

Can any of your values intermingle through an action, meaning do certain actions and activities fill more than one of your values? We will call this value stacking. For example, homeschooling fulfills both my family and education values, like I said.

Then I highly recommend doing the spider activity that I list on pages 85 and 86 to connect the actions to you specifically as a web from you. And it cleans up your brainstorm a bit too.

Before moving on to step three, let's take our final break with today's sponsor. Be right back.

And we are back.

Step three, expand on things you love.

Now it's time to take action. Look at that spider graph, along with the things that you did for brainstorming. Remember there are no wrong answers, this was an exploration into you. Make some of them crazy. Make some of them wild. You might be surprised on your answers.

In this step, I want you to simply pick one to two to explore and expand on. Doesn't mean you can't go to these others later, but it's giving you a starting point. You don't want to overwhelm yourself, you want to excite yourself, right?

What action can you take to amplify this particular passion, skill or thing you love?

If you love to bake, do more of that. If you love creativity, what is a medium you haven't explored yet? If you are adventurous, what are some ways you can start doing more adventurous things today?

This step is about getting your hands dirty and exploring something about you. This helps enhance your inner dialogue with yourself, allowing you to be genuine and honest with who you are and who you wish to become.

It's so easy for us to overthink this one, but I want you to stop and I want you to just do.

Take a value and a skill and just dive in.

And then that brings us to step four, think impact.

I love this one because it gets you to see the true value in what you are doing.

This can be an amazing hobby, the perfect volunteer endeavor, or turn into a money-making machine.

Think outside the box and say, "How can this passion of mine impact others in a positive way?"

Research, ask around, drop the question on Facebook, put yourself out there.

There are so many pain points in life and society, you'd be surprised at the impact pursuing your passion makes not only for yourself, but also others.

Here are a couple of examples of making an impact with your passion. So if your passion is baking and cooking, the impact is you can help low income areas by preparing healthy meals in bulk.

If your passion is reading and education, the impact is starting a YouTube channel or go live on Facebook to read to children.

If your passion is sewing, the impact can be sew clothes for the homeless.

And if your passion is sustainability, your impact can be repurpose used and tattered items and start your own secondhand store.

Think outside the box with these things. Don't just take one of these things and dive in, but really see behind the lens of what you have to offer. And it's a passion for you, so how can you make that an impact?

And then that takes us to step five, grow the impact to grow your income.

There are two points I want you to remember the rest of your life. Number one, money can be made in virtually anything. And number two, pursuing your passion to make a living is not cynical or evil, it means you've found your calling.

Start by putting yourself out there on social media and in the community to gain interest, seek support, and grow.

Over the coming months, do the following to put yourself out there, legitimize your business by getting licensing, seller's permits, you know, depending on what you do, really dive forward in it with your business. Develop a website and social media pages. Create marketing campaigns and strategies, and then grow.

Put your time and effort into this if you want to monetize this. Go out into the community, seek people to help guide you in your endeavor and know there is a lot of potential out there and there's potential to make money in anything. If you are passionate about it, that's the most important part.

Think big and get really specific on what you are going to do with this passion, who it will help and where you hope to go with it.

The meaning of life is to create and craft your life. Stop letting society define your mold. Break the rules, get wild and out there and let yourself experience true freedom. If I had listened to society, I would still be at my nine-to-five where I was miserable all day just for that paycheck, instead of seeing the possibility of other ways.

And if your nine-to-five makes you happy and fulfilled, pursue your passion for your own inner dialogue and hobby, we can have other interests too.

I want you thinking the long game, when it comes to both starving your demons and fueling your fire. You may have many years of thinking a certain way, so you'll want to take the time to reframe your thoughts as well as dive into what you love and are passionate about.

It's not an overnight success and it's not an overnight adjustment. It took me several years in the entrepreneurial world before I found my passion for writing again, something I had shelved long ago in my youth. I'm more passionate about writing now than ever and it's become part of my daily life that I can't live without.

Never stop investing in yourself, we are raising the future. Let's teach them that our mental health and passions are worthwhile and meaningful.

My girls will often come sit next to me in the office, which is also our school room and just watch me work. They ask me questions about why I do what I do and what it all means.

This is my chance to show them that if you love something so much, you can make money on it. I love speaking with my clients. I love tidying homes. I love writing to help women overcome challenges. I love seeing women have breakthroughs in their life and business. And I love going on TV.

As you can tell, I'm an extremely passionate person and my passion only continues to grow as I learn and discover new things about me. And that will never, ever end.

Now, it's time to get to work on starving those demons and fueling your fire. What are you finding out about yourself through these prompts and these actions?

Make sure you're not just listening to this episode and then just closing the book. Do the work, I promise it's worth it and what you see on the other side of the intentional transformation is a hundred percent worthwhile.

Before we close today, I want to prepare you for the next episode, which opens up the money segment.

In why you're broke AF, we are going to review money myths.

I want you to be prepared by doing a little bit of homework. Write down or type all the bills you have. This includes rent and mortgage, credit cards, utilities, student loans. Any place that you send your income to, write it down or type it on a spreadsheet.

If you owe credit cards, also write down how much you owe and the interest rate.

Clarity is queen, so let's put it all together.

Also pull together all health insurance, life insurance, custodial account info, investments, any statements you have about all of these, pull them all together. I'm going to be teaching you a place you can keep it all nice and organized.

I'm really loving this homework thing, by the way. I hope you're ready for the next phase, your money.

Until next time, this is The Real Moms Playbook and I'm Lisa Autry.

Thank you for joining me for The Real Moms Playbook, which has been made possible by our amazing sponsors. Make sure you check the show notes for links and access to the amazing resources.

You can find me at thedaughterdiary.com and on Instagram at The Daughter Diaries.

See you next time. This is The Real Moms Playbook and I'm Lisa Autry.