Hmm, this is a generation. It is never going to
work nine to five in an office or workplace, you
know, that they, they can just want to hang on.
I could be schooled remotely. Why can't, why can't I
work remotely? And also the online etiquette skills that these
kids are developing are going to be second to none.
I was talking to another date about it. See, the
day that, you know, with all of the experiences they're
getting, there are probably going to be better than the
most adults or a meat. You know, that those kids
that had just left the university, the spent so much
time online, this is just what they do.
Hi and welcome to Podcaster. Stories each episode we will
have a conversation with Podcast is from across the globe
and share their story. What motivates them by the start
to the show are the crucial And More will also
talk about their personal lives and some of the things
that have happened to have made them the person they
are today. And now here's your host Danny Brown hi,
and welcome to Podcaster. Stories where we get to meet
the people behind the voices of the show is we
will listen to this weak. I'm talking to John Adams
who's host of DadPodUK the UK, a fatherhood and family
life podcast that shares the different unique experiences of fatherhood.
John welcome to the show you, how about you introduce
yourself and tell us a bit about your podcast.
Well, hi, Danny well, first of all, thanks for having
me on the, on your podcast. So DadPodUK, CA, I
launched it towards the end of 2020. I'd been meaning
to, to launch a podcast for a little while. And
as you say, it is a, it's an audio podcast.
Audio only. I prefer them that way myself. And what
I do is I speak to a different father in
each episode. And I do go out and out of
my way to try and interview fathers who have got
a particular experience or story to tell you their opinion.
So the sorts of individuals I have interviewed so far,
it was a chap called Lee sands, who is actually
a stepdad.
Then I'll talk about that in a bit more in
a moment, but I also have also spoken to a
chap called Ryan who is not only in a same-sex
relationship, but also an adoptive father. So the various different
angles. When, when I spoke to him, I spoken to
a guy who guy called David break spear. That was
a fascinating interview. Now he had spent much of his
adult life in prison. So it actually missed a lot
of his children growing up. So getting to learn about
the impact on family life, when dad was incarcerated was
fascinating.
And, and the person that I've most recently spoken to,
which is probably the most emotionally charged interview I've done
to date with, with a guy called Dan white, who
has a daughter with a number of different disabilities. And
we spoke about what it's like to raise a disabled
child. And, and, and the feedback I've had in that
episode is that some people actually find it quite hard
listening, because Dan was just so candid about the challenges
that he has to the point where he just admitted
as a, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm on anti-depressants and
obviously I've checked with him before or after that. You
happy for this to, to be included in the podcast,
but he was very happy with that. So it's just,
for me, it's just a fascinating, Dads tend to be
presented in the media as quite two D characters.
And yet actually you, haven't got to scratch too far
under the surface to find out that essentially, every man
who is a father, he has this unique story behind
him. And I'm not saying that that doesn't apply to
mother's as well. I'm in every mother who has got
their own stories, just, you know, in my own background
is, is, you know, I don't have a dad myself.
And my background is a as originally a blogger looking
at fatherhood. So I'm, I was just keen to shine
the light on the, on all the different experiences and,
and types of fathers that are out there.
And you had mentioned that you're a blogger. I know
you have your actual.blog UK, or at least at that
point, you, kate.com has been gone for about eight years
now. And I believe as you mentioned a podcast or
since the late last year, so it was the, podcast's
like a natural evolution of the next stage of the
blog, or what was the, how, how did you come
up with the show idea on top of the blog
then?
Yeah, I know that that's a really good question. I
started when I have to really go back a little
bit further than that, because I essentially to cut a
long story. Short, became a stay at home, dad, my
wife with my wife and I had a very brutally
practical decision that she had more, only potential. So I
would give up my role and concentrate on family and
home. And we had a blazing Rowe, you know, sort
of pick up on your own Scottish accent there Danny
he had a blazing, her own pizza expressing Glasgow, but
she eventually actually realized that this is not a bad
idea.
And so I became a stay at home. Dad. I
did that for about a year, and I've just noticed
it with all these, I face a lot of casual
sexism. The world is basically not set up to accept
that men can be caregivers, two children, and it's a
very lonely experience. And I faced a number of, as
I say, sexist experiences, and I started blogging about it.
And initially it was quite Randy. If I can be
honest though, it was some way to, to get my
feelings off my chest and to my mates and people
are actually started reading What.
I was put in together and I sent myself a
limit. I said, if in three I've achieved nothing, I'm
gonna stop in this blogging. I didn't say what those
achievements should be, or just in three months, if I
haven't and I will. And to my amazement, within three
months, I found myself at a charity reception at number
10 Downing street, which of course is the, the, the,
the UK residents of have the prime minister whose name
we won't mention. And I've realized it was sort of
you, you know, they're having achieved that in that space
on my room. So it was really honest with me.
So I kept doing it and the, the blog grew
and that I can just get to be a big
head that if I say too much about it, it,
it was one of the few wards along the way.
And it has taken me from everywhere from Canada in
the West end to Australia or in the East and
various places in between. And it's been the most amazing
experience. But over the past two or three years, I
have increasingly got listening to podcasts. And I would very
often listened to podcasts while doing the housework, which I
think is partly why I prefer Audio podcasts, because it's
easier to put them on a speaker or headphones as
you, as you're working. And I just thought, you know,
I have a really fancy giving this a go because
I used to be a juror and that I still
got a bit of broadcast media experience anyway. Oh, you
do you know, I'm, I'm gonna try this.
I do actually have an agent that gets me work
for my, for my blog in my agents. Weren't particularly
keen on me starting a podcast. Now I'm gonna get
in trouble for admitting that. And now all the time
that they don't listen, sorry, B and K. And, but
yeah, I thought I was going to give this a
shot. And I think ultimately I think what it was,
you know, a lockdown happened and, you know, everybody had
these crazy ideas didn't, they drew knocked down through our
I'm gonna do something new. So I started, I started
the podcast and it has gone off in, so I
have an idea of a sort of interviewing that was,
and I thought, I don't really make it a mini
series a, but actually I really loved it. I really
enjoyed it. And I'm sticking with it. And I am
going to be producing regular, regular episodes going forward.
As you mentioned it earlier, or you've had a wide
variety, obviously the old Dads, but we have a wide
variety of experience and still have to tell, and you
had mentioned it Yourself, you know what? It's like, you're
in a stepfather and the challenge of same-sex here in
town. And obviously if there was a recent, One what
it means to be a black dad and a very
privileged society, there is not set up for, you know,
people of color. And in general, how did you go
about finding guests? And, and what's a process of what
stories do you want to share on the podcast?
All right. Danny I have to say, actually that is
a, that is quite a challenge because I know, I
guess it's almost a lesson I learnt through blogging. I
have a regular series on my blog called the blogger,
UK Q and a, and where I interview people who
have an interesting opinion or some expertise in the field
of families or health, actually, I keep it sorta limited
to those too, and try and I I learned in
it. So you can be approached by Pro people who
want to push that the clients, and they have been
one or two interviews I did for the day blog,
M U K Q and a half a year here
is where the people I interviewed didn't actually turn out
to be that great.
So where would the Podcast I do actually take a
lot of time and effort to get the right guest.
I'm the editor. So do you just mentioned, there were
I interviewed Elliot RE about being a, a black father
within the UK. Hi, I'm Elliott. And I know we,
we know each other in any way, the way he
runs a, a, a sort of father, the network wouldn't
use it as a football fatherhood. I do check it
out as she did it. It's, it's a very good,
or the music of football fatherhood. Ear a solely open
to a ethnic minority communities.
It, a user base has about 60% a year now
from ethnic minorities and Elliot himself as a diversity and
inclusion specialist. So he was ideal for this. So I
was very lucky the 82 to agree to do it.
The, the, the, the one that I took me ages
to actually find a father, he would speak to, to
me, was the interview with David spur break spear, who
was the dad who had been in prison. I couldn't
get charities who would agree to it. And of course,
serving inmates can't have any contact with the media. So
they were off the hook, the record, or, or they
were off, off the menu. So that took me ages.
And actually they are gone through all sorts of channels
via LinkedIn, 10, trying to Contact reformed criminals and so
on and so forth.
And eventually I know there was something that I haven't
done it, I've just done a quick Twitter search and
sure enough, David came up and I messaged him and
he was, he was good to go, but it took
me ages to actually reach that point. But I, I
am a fussy, there'll be one or two where I've
had to turn down all, you know, not recorded them.
But I don't know. I think it's because I'm so
fast, but what I'm going in with it. So I've
got a very, you could put a meter coming up.
I've got an interview with a dad whose child was
conceived via IVF. One that I'm really looking forward to,
although it may be very, very niche is I'm going
to be interviewing a, a dad who his wife is
actually quite a senior cleric in the church of England.
Because just, you know, you, there are all these stereotypes
about the Vicar's wife, but what's it like if the
roll is reversed. So for the, for North American audience,
is there a vicar, a priest, right. You know, there
are so, yeah, I, I think that that will be
quite an interesting one. So it's, it's a case of
coming out a sort of slightly off beat may be
interesting, you know, just, just coming up with those who
aren't very often interviewed
And I can imagine as well, because of the, sometimes
the topics that you're talking about, but as you mentioned,
that they can get very raw and emotional. How have
you found that there's been any topics that Dads don't
want to talk about on the show or that have
been pretty good so far?
No, there, there have been pretty good so far in,
in terms of rural and emotional, the one standard interview
where there's Dan white, who is who, who has Emily.
He has his daughter who's in, it has some, some
disability, but the other one was actually a guy called
Dr. Robin Hadley, who is the only non father who
I've interviewed. No, I interviewed him because he is involuntary
childless. He is always wanted children, but circumstances meant that
it has never happened. And he's now in his sixties.
And he's actually turned to the study of involuntarily. Childless
may turn into an, into his own academic research or
show me that she is seen to a field of
academic research.
And that, that was very emotional. I mean, Robin has
got quite a track record or speaking to the Media,
so I didn't expect it to be any problems, but
no, I have, I haven't, as of yet come across
anyone, who's just refuse to talk about this subject or,
you know, they have agreed to them. And I think
that's partly, partly because like I say, I'm very fussy
and that I vet people and I'm, I briefed him
as well. You know, I will say, I'm gonna ask
you X, Y and Zed. You know, I know what
I want to get out of the Podcast. I should
add where it has the most of the time I
used to be a journalist. So I'm quite used to
asking the questions
And also I've got a great research schools as well.
So that's kind of, that's always a kind of help.
So obviously you mentioned it earlier that made, you made
the decision to be the stay at home dad for
your two kids and your gas or Dads himself. So
is there anything that you've taken from your guests experience
that you've sort of implemented into your own teaching? Are
you now, or is in your own, your own kids?
The interview with Elliot RE the, the, the book about
his experiences is a black father. It did get me
thinking about whether we should be having more discussions about
race and ethnicity at home. And my, we are in
a white family and I've got all sorts of all
of you. My, my background is incredibly mixed as that
happens, but I am a, I am a White, but
listening to what Elliott had to say on the subject
did just, it, it got me thinking, the actually we
liked to think we're living with in the same planet
at the same country in having similar experiences.
But it actually went when Elliot was saying he he's
walking around shop and he knows he is being followed
by the security staff because of the color of his
skin. And he has to worry about how his daughter
is spoken to, and that he wouldn't want to live
in that exclusively. Why is community? Because he would want
to live and, and make sure that there were people
around him who had had the similar life experiences. It
just sort of got me, it made me sort of
realize just how different actually our life experiences can be,
and that this should be shared with my children. So
that is something that I have taken away at a
greater exploration of a race, ethnicity, ethnicity, And, and having
a greater understanding.
And, and I certainly mean the discussion. And you mentioned
about RE should always be the top of my mind,
but I think in, in the UK at the moment
of the racial abuse, It sports stars are going through
some of the football player's that they send the papers.
But again, you know, like Marcus Rashford did a great
thing also with a a hundred kids and making sure
that there was a movement to feed hundred kids, and
he still got abused because of that. So when it
shouldn't be involved, because it is the wrong call and
you think really, you just can't put your head to
that, that mindset.
No, you can't do it. And especially when you, you
don't, you know, Marcus Rashford has made it made no
secret about his background, either in a single-parent family with
a w w with a mom who has struggled. I
did it, you know, it clearly he did an exceptionally
good job, but I don't think there is any equipment
look at the individual she raised, but, you know, your
rights w I mean, he knows what he's talking about.
It, he lived in it
One, imagine you'd mentioned LLI as we were speaking, and
then the green room, or you're under, what will it
be at the same? We are under locked on at
the moment. How has that been deaf? What difference is
that know brought to the day that the sort of
let me get my teeth. And what difference is is
that we get to the dynamic of raising your kids
under, you know, what's been going on, I guess, and
the last 12 months or so.
Oh, a dreary and really at wit's end now, well,
at the situation in the UK, we, as a family
who has an added complication in that our oldest daughter,
Hellen, who is 11, we started secondary school or a
high school. I was, I guess you could probably call
it in, in, in North America. So she's left a,
what would you call it? An elementary school? Primary school
in the elementary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she she's left
that environment and to go to secondary school, but of
course that the schools in Britain was shut down towards
the end of March last year.
So her primary school, we thought her primary schooling had
just come to an end in March. And he thought
that that was it. In fact, in the way that
they, the certain age groups were cherry picked and did
actually return to school for one months of schooling during
the month of June. And Helen's a year group was
one of them. So she had several months of have
what was at that time, actually homeschooling. Well, I had
to move my, my computer down onto the dining room
table. And I had to sit down with both my
daughters and we did the, the tasks at the school
set.
They very rarely lasted the whole school day, but, and
it was very much kind of a, it, it was
really thrown together at speed. I mean, they actually, by
daughters' school was, it was one of the better ones,
but it was things were throwing together at, at speed.
So she's face the challenge of starting secondary school having
had that end to her, her elementary school years. But
she had gone to, to, to the secondary school, having
to abide by one way systems having to wear face
masks with certain groups of pupils at certain times, having
to be removed from school and being ordered to spend
two weeks at home.
There's been no after school activities and their sports activities.
And my, for my youngest daughter, she didn't return to
school again until September. So she has gone up a
school year having not really finished the previous school year.
And then it was just essentially from December and the
school's closed down from the Christmas holidays. They haven't reopened
since, but they've gone to remote school in this time.
And this time there are Mo and I use that
term specifically because this time there were alive lessons and
there was much more interaction with, with their class and
they're teachers.
And they had the head teachers and its a much
more structured school day and the kids are actually getting
some learning out of it. I mean it's no, it's
not, it doesn't replicate what they should be doing it
at school. But that's been in a situation since December.
Really my concern isn't actually so much for how much
they were going to miss academically. My concern is that
the impact on their social development, 'cause the added thing.
And I don't know how the, the, the, the lockdown
is over there Danny but over here are basically since
December and everything has been shot. So all non-essential retail
has been shot.
You cannot meet with your neighbors. You can go to
the supermarket to buy clothes a lot. So you can
go to a supermarket of, but you don't go to
see my most of my clothes go to see the
market to buy food, but the kids can't see their
friends. They can't make sure that their friends are coming
out with their family. We can go out and exercise,
but that's all you were allowed to do. And my
real concern is how their, their social development, what impact
this is having on their, on their social development. And
in fact, my youngest daughter said to me that the
day that she wishes she could get a time machine
so that she could go forward and just skip the
Corona You years, what's left with them.
And I think one thing that I don't know, obviously,
no, what, what message you were being given out there
in Canada, but Corona virus is a virus we've seen
several variants come up already where the vaccines that are
being rolled out will provide some protection tool, but in
not necessarily, I think we were having to prepare for
the fact that this is a disease and possibly the
first we are experiencing in the Western world where we
are not getting rid of it and having Corona virus
testing kits in the family medicine cupboard is going to
be as common as plasters and skin healing cream and
cold remedies.
And that's gonna be the future. And it's a brighter
future. Once, once we have all been vaccinated, but it
ain't going away, it's a disease, we've got to live
with it. And so I know the skills that go
back to the school year. So we'll mix again, but
we are not getting rid of it. I don't think
No, no. And that's an interesting point. You mentioned about
the, the social aspect, our son he's 11. So same
as usual a urologist. And he is very much a
social butterfly. So he likes to go out and play
football and you're like steam mixed with his friends and
he's on a football rep football team over here. And
he's missed all that because we were under the same
lockdown instructions that are under and were sitting there impact
on him. You know, he is he's real to become
more prone to out person stuff. And it is not
like that. Or, you know, so I completely agree with
this. I think when we look back in years to
come, there is definitely going to be a huge spike
in say mental health issues are, you know, there are
the social aspect on the kids are trying to go
through this.
There is a, it is going to, it is a
huge worry. On the other hand, I have of unfortunate,
not being able to put this into my podcast and
in a suitable way yet, but it will happen, but
I have put it on my blog and there's a
lot of focus and quite rightly on the negative aspects
of, of Covid. We all know people who have had
it and had it very badly. And, and, and I'm
sure some listeners were, unfortunately, people who have passed away,
I got it got long Covid and so on, but
I do predict this is going to be a fascinating
generation to watch because there for my own education is
getting the life pummeled out of it, but they aren't
getting the most fascinating in formal education in, you know,
I don't know what you're done with your kid's Danny,
but I'm getting my kids to use the washing machine,
the tumble dryer, and, you know, getting into the cooking
and baking and their getting a lesson in resilience, tolerance,
understanding, and also a, when they're doing their remote learning,
you know, this, you got to think about it.
You've got this generation of kids from the age of
like four to sort of 20 to 23 university age,
who of all, and they've now had two academic years
punctuated with huge spells of remote learning. This is the
generation that is never going to work nine to five
in an office or workplace, you know, that they just
want to hang on. It can be schooled remotely. Why
can't I, why can't I work remote? And also the
online etiquette skills that these kids are developing are going
to be second to none. I was told to know
the data about it to you the day that the,
you know, th with all the experiences they are getting
there, probably going to be better than the most adults
or a meat.
You know, that those kids who have just left the
university, they spent so much time online. This is just
what they do.
That's a great point. You raise about the, the remote
and what the generation is going to be. Like I
know here in Canada, there was a huge discussion at
the moment about universal basic income and enabling people to
be ready for something like this. So they can stay
at home and, you know, bring the virus spread down
because they were at home so that they do not
have to go to work sick, or they're not to
go to school sick, because I know what we are
as parents, we could be guilty of sending kids to
school with a runny nose when really they should be
at home so that the not making any money off
sick. So it's gonna be like you say, well, that's
a great point about what's, what's the, the benefits of
the society as a whole, from this, what, what are
we gonna take from the lesson's as we move forward.
I'm really glad to hear that having that conversation in
Canada, that the Irish we're having a similar conversation. And
unfortunately the government in the UK, I don't know if
I've hidden this well so far, but I've got very
little time for the, the, the, the one concern seems
to be, to forcing people back to the office that
they'll buy sandwiches and keep major sandwich retailers alive. Actually,
I see, great. Danny, we've gotten way off topic regarding
the podcast, but I actually, this is a huge, I'm
one of the things I do I'm actually involved with,
with LinkedIn as a change maker. One of the things
I'm involved in the campaigning for is to make flexible,
working more available to anybody, with caring responsibilities.
And one of the points I've made with my campaigning
work with LinkedIn is, is it a different situation than
Canada, but in the UK, obviously we've got a much
more compact population base where people commute into the cities
every day to work well with COVID with people working
from home and people not wanting to go back to
work in the city is five days a week. We've
got this opportunity to actually take these businesses and to
relocate all, to have small, independent businesses open up in
the provinces where people that are actually working on at
home so that you can work on at home, you
can go to your local coffee shop instead of having
to buy a Starbucks.
You can buy a snake from a family, run business,
you know, the long-term possibilities, or, you know, that I
think some good can come out of it. So it's
obviously, it's, it's a tragedy for us, for the many,
many people who were involved, who have fallen ill with
Covid. But that, that there are some good could come
out of this.
So you mentioned to get back to the topic because
you did, so that will hold up. So that was
my fault. So I, for drifting you off there, you
had mentioned it, obviously, if you have been a stay
at home dad for 10 years, and what, what do
you, what did you find? How have you found that
the fact that because of the lockdowns, you've had more
quality time to be involved with your daughter's and what
they were learning from a lifer point of view, as
opposed to a window we're going to school regularly, and
then coming back. So you were seeing them maybe less
in June the day, what it is now you're seeing
them, or what's, how has that benefited you yourself as
a, as a dad
W right. I'm going to probably totally confused you here
and say for me, it hasn't, but for my wife,
Amy has been a huge change. Actually 'cause my wife
would leave the house to sort of half six in
the morning. She'd get back at about seven o'clock at
night, normally prior to, to Covid. But for the past
year, she has been working from home. So actually, when
the kids have been going to school, she has been
around in the mornings to help me get them ready.
And she has been around in the evenings to help
them with, with school work.
And we have a done more activity's as a family,
within locked down rules, which had the minute, it means
we can actually do much more than go out for
a walk together. But that has happened pretty much every,
you know, every day. So for my wife, Jill, she's
got to spend a lot more time with the kids.
I suppose, if I were to get all deep and
meaningful about this, I think what I have taken away
from this is I could, should, and am relaxing a
bit more with the kids, I guess I'd possibly, I
always felt under pressure that every activity should be education
or, or every activity should be.
Yeah. Let's just say for your activity, activities should be
educational when actually, no, it doesn't have to be. And
yes, I will cook my kids pancakes every day for
breakfast while I can. 'cause why not? Why not? I'm
not going to get the chance to do this anymore.
They want, they want them. It's been a bit of
fun. Actually. We waste a lot less milk as a
family in cakes compared to the breakfast cereal.
What about my, daughter's got some pancakes on to go
upstairs, but she's here. So this is the first time
I've actually gone back to your point about, you know,
learning life lessons and she's eight or nine, you know
what she is? She's nine. Now she took on the
name of this month about me. So she's, she is
making pancakes that you have, you've got two daughters. And
you had mentioned earlier about the, the same sex parent
guests from, from your shore. How how's your day, if
you've got a boy and a girl saw, what we
were trying to do is we were trying to be
gender neutral and there is no pink for girls blue
for boys, all that kinda stuff. And we try to,
you know, knock them on the head of it. It
comes up in the TV or whatever. How has that
been for, for yourself as a father to two girls
as these, these kind of conversations that have come up
or,
And they do? I'm an interestingly I have is when
the kids were younger on a couple of occasions, I
took them both to one side and sort of had
to say to, you do realize that you come from
quiet, a, a, a, a unique, which is probably not
the word I used, but when you, you come from
quite a rare family in that, you've got a mummy
who goes out to work every single day. And you've
got me at home doing everything for you, you know,
have you got any concerns over that? And I now
remember having that conversation with my eldest at one point,
he was, he knew him any concerns, any questions. And
she looked at me and she said, yeah, can I
have some chocolate? And, you know, they, they just see
it, that sort of thing, or they just see through
these things.
Interestingly, they, my two daughters are slightly different in approach.
My eldest daughter will question that type of thing as
she comes across it, or, you know, she comes across
the sexism in any form, or she does have a
nice, and she does. So the question in my youngest
daughter, Izzy, not so much. Umm, but that said, I
think that there is something to be said for B
having a father as a main carer. I mean, I
had someone did actually one say to me and I've,
I've never actually got around to referencing this, which I
would like to do. But the girls who have a
father as main carer are apparently more confident.
And the, the, the, the logic is so I'm told
that men are raised to be risk-takers. It's what happens
in your childhood, that your mother and your father raised
to, to, to, to take risks. And then you as
a man is a MaineCare for your children. You them
pass it on to your daughter's. So they are to
put it, to put it bluntly. They take a slightly
more masculine look on the world and they react to
it accordingly. And I think that's possibly what's happened with
my kids. And I'm not saying, I agree, I agree
with that, but I'm not saying that's right. And it
says an awful lot about our expectations of gender and
how we raise children.
So I'm not saying it's wrong that it should work
that way, but if my kids are gonna benefit from
it, I let that be. You know, that's a great,
as far as I'm concerned.
Okay. And obviously you've got a, an Asian man, you
got an older daughter whose now in high school at
the secondary school, I can try to remember in the
UK to that I have been away for that long
don't apologize and getting closer to becoming a teenager. How
is that? Has there been any changes that you have
seen in, how are you approaching that? And a difficult
conversation is coming up?
Oh, well I've had the ad some difficult conversations already.
And I have noticed that there is that it's difficult,
you know, that it is an interesting thing. They have
done it. How much of this is locked down and
how much of this is growing up? I don't know.
I have noticed with, with the oldest that there has
been a change in mood and temperament, and it's quite
a bit to say, as I say, it's quite difficult
to know how much of that is down to two
months of tolerating, this infernal lockdown and how much of
it is just growing up an age and naturally striking
out for independence. I don't know. But yes, there have
been, there have been changes and yes, there were all
manner of conversations that have been hard.
But I do, I have to say that one of
the things that I'm always very and I push her
quite hard as it is. I th I think that
awkward conversations, whether it be about menstruation, sex, puberty, whatever,
I'm a firm believer that they should start at home
and at school should meet him, fill in the gaps.
Yeah. I would say for sure, it was like, I
know we are trying to have the conversation is like
you say, by the end and try not to make
it to your point about it. Mom, who just wants
to speak to there, that the doctor and dad, he
just wants to speak to the son about these things
and try to make it a mixed, you know, our
next conversation. And, and, and that's such a key thing,
like you say, you know, to, to make sure that
the confidence as they are on, on all sides.
Oh yeah, yeah, no, absolutely. And one of the things
I would always say is as you, when it comes
to having an awkward with children, and I'm the one,
the one example I would give, and I do apologize
if I'm taking your Podcast off into the territory. It's
never quite been into before is periods. Okay. Men as
fathers are in a speck tack you really strong position
to talk to their daughters about periods, because women are
raised to think of periods as taboo and women really
don't like talking about it.
Whereas men, the way guys is raised, as I say,
I'm not saying this is a good thing. I'm not
saying it's the right way that the, the, we, we
raised at the particular agendas, but men are raised to
think practically. So a man can go in to that
conversation with their daughter's and say, this is what is
going to happen. Its biology. This is what you're gonna
do about it. And can just go in they're completely
fearless. Were there any of the taboos that a lot
of women unfortunately have, have got because of the way
women are raised and what we would talk about the
rest, talk about periods.
And if this is where it goes back to my
sort of experiences, not so much with the podcast, but
with the blog. I mean, I've had women comment on
my blog or on my social media channels in the
past who told me they are like a 13 year
old daughters and they have never spoken to them about
sex or about periods. I would be horrified if a
father told me he had never spoken to his 13
year old daughters about those things and to hear a
mum saying those things, it just, yeah, I, I th
I, I just find that statement actually also really quite
sad that people feel quite so pet up that they
can't actually discuss this, but Hey daddy, I mean, you're,
you're, you're from Scotland.
And I know, I know being married to a Scot
that the Scots, it can be even more reserved in
the English. So I, I try to think, you know,
and I think between us, our two nations Excel in
possibly feeling awkward about discussing these things.
And I was going to ask you that because I
do you think it is a cultural thing? Cause I
look at Europe, you're look at France and you're look
at it earlier. That's seems to be, for example, they
have a wine is a normal dinner or a drink
and a half to 12, 13, 14 year old kids,
you know, having a glass of wine at dinner. So
there's less chance of alcoholism in Europe or at least
in the other countries that are, that, you know, promote
that. So do you think it's a cultural thing that
we are RE regressed in the UK at the voucher,
say Europe or North America to a degree or Australia
or New Zealand?
Oh, well it depends on the subject matter. You see
it because for my sins, I am actually half French.
And now when it comes to issues of gender equality,
the U K and actually Canada as a shining light
on this front as well is, is actually quite well.
It's not as advanced to Sweden's Norway's Iceland's Finland's of
this world, but I would rather raise my kids in,
in the UK than the necessary and France or Germany
or Italy, or maybe not so much Germany, Germany, and
I'll give the Germans in the, in the dark shirt
or a pass out.
But, but I think when it comes to gender equality,
those CA those nations, our actually behind us. And I
thought of me doing what I do being the main
carer for my kids would be, you know, in, in,
in the UK, it's sort of a bit interesting. I
mean, it would be nice and revolutionary, I think, in,
in those societies, but w you know, when it comes
to booze and drugs and, and that sort of thing,
I just in the UK has got a problem. I
really we've got quite an unhealthy approach to those times.
He is not necessarily, you know, no, I think there
are a European countries out there where, where they probably
have got bigger issues actually.
But yeah, I think a certain amount of it is,
is CA is culture and nature nurture all of that.
So one of the things that they wanted to ask
you, I'm, I'm not sure if it's as your way
to listen to your podcast,
Do you know? I don't actually encourage her to do
engaged with anything I do online. I don't encourage anyone.
I know too, actually, I've just thought I've got a
bit more free rain, you know, if, if, but, you
know, obviously people find out and they do. So they
might, my wife isn't hugely engaged with, with my podcast.
So you can ask what you like. Danny
What I was curious if there's been anything that you
spoke about of your guests, and you've used an example
from your own parenting and she's listened after where it
says you to didn't do that, or no, I wish
you'd done in an hour or whatever that your guests
that said, I don't know everything that it popped up
there.
No, that hasn't happened yet. If it will happen on
this, I'm sure. Umm, but no, it, it, it, it
hasn't happened yet. I'm so sorry to let you down
on that one that I wish I could give you
an example where that actually.
So we're going to try to find a, a contact
detail for a walk and just say, you gotta listen
to the show up. Good call is going to be
speaking about this. So you get your podcasts. We launched
it a year, launched it at the end of last
year. So still a relatively new what's your goal. As
you move forward a, are you going to move in
to video? You mentioned that you prefer Audio, but are
you thinking of moving in, moving to the video or
are we, do you like to get back to C
in-person interviews? What, what kind of the plant's
That he got for the shot? Yeah, well, what I
have decided to do with the foreseeable future is to,
I'm going to produce an episode in monthly. Now I
may up for that in time, what I was incredibly
fortunate and I have to say, I was staggered to
have done. This was, there was a new podcasting award
was launched in the UK just a few months back
or the podcasting for business awards. And I entered my
Podcast into it, into the, into the family category. And
to my amazement, I didn't win it, but I didn't
get the runner-up prize, which I was stuck at by
actually. And it, it sort of made me thing that,
well, I must be on to something here, so I'm
going to it.
I'm definitely going to keep at it. W my plans
are, are to grow our audience. And your absolutely right
is a very new Podcast. So not that, you know,
10th episode, we will be out a very soon in
the next few weeks what's I know I have got
to do. And what I have taken steps to do
is to improve the quality of my audio. And not
that it didn't get the wrong way that it's not
being shocking, but I know that on some episodes it's
been better than on others while I started off. I
wasn't sure if I was going to keep doing this
forever.
So I basically bought a game as head set, and
that's what I recorded the first few episodes on. But
then I did have a particular episode where an individual,
although I was sort of microphoned up and everything, it
was done via zoom, and he was on a laptop
and he kept moving away and kept moving forward. I
was, he was like, Oh, am I allowed to swear
at Danny? Well, I can always blip it or I
can put whatever it is. It's like, okay, I may
have said a few swear words or can't you just
stay there, or, you know, so I've spoken to other
people and learn a few tips. So I'm, I'm improve
my audio quality in future episodes is going to be
much better, also invested in my concern, so on.
And I've had a lot more ideas to the two
types of fathers that I am going to interview. Now,
obviously I reckon the phone, but to be honest, I've
probably got a good four of five years worth of
fathers. I could actually interview at some point, I imagine
I probably will want to broaden out. And the idea
that the thing I'm looking to do is to do
much more like this, actually speak to other people on
other people's podcasts, which is great fun as you grow.
I saw a comment that was made to me was
podcasting is like what blogging was 10 years ago. And
actually when I started podcasting also got the experience of
a blogger. I'm gonna go going forward. I thought, actually
I do see some similarities to, to, to, you know,
what I was doing with the blog and sort of
eight years ago.
And otherwise it's sort of, Oh, I know this, you
know, I can, or I can predict what's going to
happen with podcasting. It is in certain aspects and, and
sort of see what I've got to do. So, yeah,
I, I will be using my experiences, you know, that
I learned blogging sort of try and grow my audience,
uhm, as a podcast because I would like, I would
like to grow it seriously. And I just, you know,
that it, I do love it. What I found is
that there is a fantastic podcasting community and I think
also podcasting has boomed due to COVID and a thing
I find fascinating as when I look through all the
various podcasts as some of the podcast, I like to
listen to listen to are actually on some of the,
the, the, the fiction a, you know, what you, what
he wants to put a time we would have called
radio plays.
No idea what you call with them on podcasts as
a podcast playing. So I don't know why, but I
listened to it, loads of them and the number of
a list or Hollywood stars that are cropping up doing
podcasts because they're not doing any filming. I mean, it's
amazing. I mean, it's just, I see a huge potential
to, and what's been really interesting actually is to sit
back and watch our clubhouse. It is booming as well.
And I am on, Clubhouse not that I'd done a
great day with it yet, but I think all of
the people I'm following or the, all of the people
I follow there is definitely a Podcast theme. There they
are all people who I would love to hear or
doing something Audio, but I wouldn't necessarily read it or
watch a video, but in answer to your question, what
do I do video sort of got my fingers burned
a few years ago.
You know, if I tried making it as a YouTuber
and had to accept the fact that maybe I'm not
that good.
Well, it's, it's a very different medium. I know of
like a, like a couple of guests, I was speaking
to a couple of months back, the, the gentleman, it
said, you've got a great phase for podcast. And I
was thinking, Oh, did you just, this appeal was early
in the Copeland or whatever. So it wasn't really sure
that I've had them. Yeah. I don't think that I
feel really uncomfortable even when I'm doing like train and
videos or whatever, you know, like low explainer videos, but
Podcast, CA, I get really awkward. And I can't, I'm
far different from what I'm just speaking on our, a
show like this.
So what I, I, you know, I, again, I do
just think of it a bit differently. I think it
was ice tea once said for those under the age
of 40, very famous rapper who went into acting. I
remember him say once that whenever he cut a new
tune, he would go to his car and stick it
on a stereo. And it's a, what do you do
when you're driving? You're listening to music and this was
always stuck with me. Actually. It was a very interesting
comment to me because actually in this day and age,
when your Bluetooth, you, you, you have your phone to
go to the car or, or whatever, actually, no, you
might not be, listen to me, is that you might
be listening to podcasts or whatever.
And I think that is actually the beauty of the
podcasts is the fact that, you know, it's streaming media
radio almost. I mean, if you choose to w when
you listen to it and you've got such a wealth
of stuff that you can actually choose to listen to
'em if you shoot a video, shoot a video, I,
I, I'm probably gonna upset a few people are saying
this, but I kinda think the podcast video is genre.
You're making a video. You don't make it a podcast.
I think by rise podcast should kind of be audio
only.
And I know wait for the hate mail.
Okay. Have you done any of the Podcast in groups
on Facebook? You'll get a lot of that, because that
was one of the big conversations I see all the
time is when someone says about to your point, you
know, it's our videos, you just made none, it's a
podcast and it's a video and it had just the
comments just lay up, you know, you can sit back
and be a popcorn and just watch it unfold.
Yeah. Well, again, I've, I've got a, I've sorta going
to come back to my experiences, not so much as
a, as, as, as a blogger, but when I've had
to create content in video format, I mean, I've got
a cupboard here that is full, you know, and every
now and again, I'll have to do it again. And
I've got the lights and I've got a stand-alone video
camera. We've also got pros. I've got all that stuff.
Pod cast, actually, you don't really need much more than
a really good set of headphones and a good microphone
on a day. They are so different skills that you
need for producing for the different media.
But yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm just putting my flag in
the ground now in saying Audio only podcasts or anything
else has a video, sorry. She came to us.
Would you ever consider, obviously that your show is about
Dads and their experiences? What did you ever consider having
your daughter's on it? Talk about their experience being raised
by.
I know that I never thought about it, but yes.
What a brilliant idea. Yeah. So that, that, that can
be really interesting actually. And I should, I really should,
I really should ask him about that and see if
they would be a be up for that, because I
think they would be, it would be really quite difficult
to edit the sewed, I think, but no, no, that's
a really good idea that he knew what it should
do, that I should do that and just see what,
what they think of what they say totally unscripted. I
think that would be huge fun.
That'd
Be interesting to listen back to that for sure.
Ah, thank you. I, I, I think it would, I
mean, that's the whole of the Podcast shot and there
isn't a good thing getting kids to being interviewed about
their parents'. I mean, yeah. And what a great idea
if I should speak to you more often Danny
Yeah. Yeah. So John, I really enjoy chatting with you
today and I can speak with you for hours and
hours. And unfortunately, my issue is not a Joe Rogen,
the landfill. I really don't know. I think my lesson
is one of like a three hour show or whatever.
So for people that I have enjoyed listen to you
as well. I want to know more about your podcast
or your blog and listened to the, the, the Stories
of your, your guests, where is the best place for
them to connect with you on the line and listened
to your podcast.
All right. Best by the system to be on the
line where the podcast is hosted by Liz Libsyn. So
it's Danny pod UK. Aww. You will also find the
podcast on this. This is what I have to try
and remember at all. O iHeartRadio, Apple podcasts, Google podcasts,
audible, Spotify. How can I forget to Spotify? So it
was on all the, the, the, the major channels and
also a number of the, you know, the, the, the,
the sort of smaller ones as well. And you will
find Dads pod UK. It has got a Twitter feed,
but I'm not really active on there, but you find
that pod UK on Instagram and on Facebook for the
blog, a blog is Dads blog, uk.com.
And you will find at Dodd blog, UK on a
Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, I was sure of missing out
there, but you know, that that's enough.
Yeah. And I'll be sure to link all that in
the show notes. So if you'll listen to on your
favorite app to make sure to check out the show
notes as usual and all of the links, we'll be
there to catch up with John wherever you want to
go. So, Jon, I really appreciate you coming on today.
Like I say, that I've really enjoyed catching up of
your shows that have been listened to it, and I'm
looking forward to the new episodes coming up and the
new show you that are about to launch it as
well, obviously, you know?
Oh, well, thanks ever so much, Dan, thanks for having
me here on, on your podcast. It's been a great
fun.
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