E110 - The Christmas Eve Pause: Permission to Stop Holding Everything Together

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[00:00:00] This Episode is giving you permission to pause this Christmas Eve and we'll be guiding you through a simple and effective way that you can take a few minutes out for yourself to recharge.

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Speaker: Welcome to Heartbreak to Wholeness, the podcast helping you heal from the mindfuck of narcissistic relationships and move towards the secure, peaceful woman you want to become. I am your host, Bre Wolta, Relationship Clarity Coach and EFT Certified Practitioner. Let's dive in.

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Welcome to this episode and Merry Christmas Eve. If you are celebrating Christmas, regardless of what holiday you, you celebrate, the holidays in general are an interesting time of year. We're being marketed to that we should be joyful and it's the most joyful time of year and it's magical and there is a lot of joy and magic that can be found in the holidays.

Absolutely. But there's a lot of pressure that also can come with this, this joy and this [00:01:00] magic. So pressure to be social, to be doing all the things, going to all the parties, having all the dinners.

Pressure to be cheerful when you're going to set events, showing up with a smile on your face when maybe like your home life is in total wreckage and you're feeling like you have to put on a mask to even get to the party. There can be a lot of pressure to just be on. Right. And it's, it's, it's just a lot of exertion of energy on top of your already full life.

Maybe you are really immersed in your job, or you are raising kids, or you're doing both of those things, or you're taking care of your family, or you're trying to be there for everybody in your friend groups and you're already exerting a lot. So to add the holidays on top of that is just.

You need a minute. You need a minute for you, which is what I want this episode to be. And my intention with this episode is to give you that space where you [00:02:00] can be held for a moment, where you can unplug and really recharge those batteries that are probably starting to blink in the red. So this episode's gonna look a little bit different than normal episodes because I'm actually gonna guide you through a grounding meditation.

This is a meditation that I lead my clients through, that I use on myself all of the time when I'm just feeling depleted. When I just need a space to like pull from somewhere some energy to fill me back up. So I hope that this is something that you can revisit and come back to again and again as you move through the holidays and into the end of this year and into the beginning of next year.

And in the episode you're going to receive a perspective shift that supports your healing from people pleasing tendencies and really this, this need to really hold everything together. And [00:03:00] we're still gonna pull an Oracle card at the end of the episode, so stick around to the end and you'll be given a message that you can use to stay more conscious in where you are in your healing this week.

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So when thinking about this episode, I really wanted it to feel like a warm hug. And I know you're listening to this because on some level you're also struggling with a narcissistic relationship. So on top of your baseline, like trying to keep your whole world together, your kids, your job, the house, the groceries, all the things.

Then you have the holidays, which adds another layer of stress and doing, and you're dealing with some level of relationship shit from a narcissistic partner. Right. So either you are in that dynamic and you're very much on that rollercoaster, or maybe you've left and you're really fighting that urge to go back.

Or maybe you don't wanna go back and you're just struggling with like grieving, what the hell just [00:04:00] happened in any of those situations. You are, you are doing so much. Your nervous system is on hyper drive and I know that from experience of being in that state of. The doing and the learning and the hypervigilance and the anxiety, and that can just quickly become your default mode.

So if we think about the nervous system, we really want, we wanna be able to come back into a baseline set of rest and digest. And if we're just in that activated state all of the time. Our body is actually really struggling from the inside out. We're actually not having the time that we need to repair ourselves to bump up our immune system, right?

Especially this time of year. Um, and to just generally feel like better in life when we can come back into those periods of calm. That's what helps us be able to take on the next. Set of activating [00:05:00] things, we have to recharge those batteries. So this episode is for you. It's your permission to rest.

This is your prescribed pause. 'cause I know, I know part of you is saying, okay, Brie, I'm just gonna listen to this while I continue to do my 17,000 things, because there's no way I can take time out to tend to myself.

And so I wanna challenge that. I want this to be the episode where you actually do it as intended instead of multitasking. I want you to think about this as the one sweet gift that you're giving yourself. For Christmas or for the holidays, whatever holiday you are, gifting gifts to yourself for this is for you because you are important and you recharging your batteries is going to benefit everybody in your life.

And I know that's counterintuitive, but if you can give me like the next seven-ish minutes [00:06:00] to just be here now with me. You will not regret it. I can promise you that.

So I'm gonna cue you through one of my favorite meditations ever. You're gonna feel held and cozy and delicious in your body.

And if you are doing something that you can't stop, like driving or whatever, listen to it through and then come back, come back and actually do it again. Give yourself this gift

Because you are worth taking time for. And the more that you practice that, the more that you will see this actualization in your life. So let's begin. I want you to start to find a comfortable seat, and as you settle into your seat, maybe just wiggling your body around, maybe moving your hips side to side, rolling your shoulders up, down and back.

Noticing if you're actually comfortable in the position that you're in, and [00:07:00] really allowing yourself. To get comfortable

once you feel physically a little bit settled here in this space on your chair, I want to invite you to close your eyes if that feels safe, or to find a gentle gaze down in front of you. Just focusing your attention to limit the distractions visually.

And as you start to bring your eyes to a close, just noticing if that mind starts to speed back up.

When we take away the stimulation of, what we see visually, our thoughts become a lot more in the forefront. So just noticing. I'm just noticing what's happening and directing yourself into your breath. [00:08:00] So as you bring that inhale in through your nose, I want you to feel that fully. What does it feel like to bring that breath through your nostrils?

What does it sound like?

Putting your full attention on what that experience is to bring the breath in through your nose and out through your mouth

again, in through your nose and out through your mouth.

Checking in again with your muscles in your body here and seeing if anything has tensed. Just intentionally relaxing those muscles and letting your weight drop.

Seeing if you can actually sink into [00:09:00] your chair one inch deeper.

And bringing your attention to the base of your spine, to those sit bones that are connecting with the seat beneath you, and really feeling this connection point, feeling your weight being held.

And then from the base of your spine here, imagining as if you had an energetic grounding cord that was moving down from the base of your spine, moving down from your body and entering into the dark and rich layers of Mother Earth.

This grounding cord just [00:10:00] gently pulling you down, again, creating that connection into the earth. And feeling as it moves deeper into her core

noticing. As this grounding cord moves down, it starts to root out in every direction. So feeling these roots start to stabilize you further into the earth. Really moving far and wide beneath you.

Imagining your root system intertwining with the other plants and animals, and really creating this, this tapestry of connection, feeling that you are not alone, [00:11:00] that you are a part energetically of something so much greater.

Letting yourself feel into this safety, this security,

and feeling as these roots deepen even further, all the way down to the very center of Mother Earth. Imagining the center being this crystalline bright white, light core, and feeling your roots sort of gently wrap around and hug the core of Mother Earth. Feeling like you were plugging back in,

plugging back into [00:12:00] this energetic source. The highest vibration of white light

And feel as your roots start to absorb this energy, drinking up this energy up through your roots. And it coming up through your grounding cord feeling as this light starts to enter the base of your spine.

So just for a moment, let yourself feel this warmth, this vibration right at the base of your spine, and then following this light up your spine. So pulling the light up through your spine and out through your limbs,[00:13:00]

feeling this surgence of energy, this light moving all throughout your body

It really finding those, those dark spaces where you're feeling depleted and overwhelmed, maybe hollow or even numb

feeling as that light really fills in so deliciously all of these places that you need it most.

Inviting in this light, this energy, this rejuvenation,

and as you continue to follow [00:14:00] that light, bringing it up and out of the very top of your head. And feeling as if it just flows back down around you like a fountain.

And as it moves up from the earth up through your body and out through your head, you feel this flow of energy. You feel movement

just moving out any stuckness. And as that energy comes out through the top of your head and falls back down around you like a fountain, seeing this, this curtain of light that surrounds you and knowing that this curtain of light is your protection, is your energetic barrier between you and everybody else.[00:15:00]

And any time that this barrier starts to feel a little bit weak, you can bring some attention to bringing this light back out around you to strengthen your reserves.

Letting yourself be immersed within this light,

knowing that you are strong, that you are guided, you are supported. You are connected from below and from above.

Tuning back into your body and noticing if it feels different than when we started and

letting your body really fully receive,[00:16:00]

and as you begin to bring your awareness back. Just very gently again, noticing your body on your seat, noticing the light behind your eyes,

and as you are ready, sealing this practice with something that you are grateful for. It can be big or small. But in this moment, where can you find gratitude?

Naming that silently for yourself, and then bringing your awareness back with your eyes open as you are ready.

Thank you. Thank you for taking [00:17:00] time for yourself, recharging, bringing that light back into the body, clearing out any stagnance, and really letting that light move into all of those places that you really need some tender love and care. Helps you be able to show up in your life from a resourced place,

and allows you to really give to your family, to your children, to your friends, from that place of fulfillment, from already having enough. I know how much you give to others. I know how much pleasing others and keeping people happy and trying to mitigate any stress or tension has become like a full-time job for you

and what I want you to take away from this, this exercise of giving to yourself first, is that when we get into that mode of people pleasing and we're abandoning ourselves, we're actually starting to engage in relationships in a transactional [00:18:00] way

I know you want to care for others. I know you want to be there for others, but when you are running on empty. And you're doing things out of a should place that creates this transaction in a relationship that inevitably creates resentment, which inevitably hurts a relationship.

So taking time for yourself with this meditation, with a walk in nature, by saying no to an invite to a party. Allows you to shore up your energy so that you are saying yes from a place of fuck yes. And therefore showing up to that thing or that person

with full agency, not from a place of I should or I have to, or I'm guilty if I don't. So looking at shifting outta people pleasing and giving yourself that time, that energy, that recharge as actually the, the most healthy thing that you can do for yourself and the people who, [00:19:00] who you love, who you want to give your energy to.

I, You have permission to care for yourself so thank you again for taking the time to do this because I know you are a busy woman. I know it. I know it. When we take time like this to recharge from the inside, it's like time expands it.

You will notice this. The more that you do this, the more that you make this a practice, it is like you have so much more energy and focus to get things done that it feels like you can do so much more. Not that you should do more because your plate's already full, but it, it will benefit you to do this and you will feel it.

All right, it's time for the Oracle card. So I'm going to start shuffling here and ask what the message is that wants to come through for you today. The message that come out is lay it down. This message has been coming out for a lot of clients recently too.

I guess it's one to pay attention to. Lay it down. You have been carrying your shit for too long. It is [00:20:00] time to lay it down. What started as a simple, generous act of carrying someone else's load has snowballed into the boulder that weighs you down. Maybe you are so used to it that you think you love it or it connects you to your identity, or that it was always yours to hold.

Allow yourself to remember that the burden you bear is no longer serving you. Lay it down. Let it roll away. You might even miss it initially. Or look around for it. Feel the relief as you step forward in lightness and freedom, knowing that you only need to carry what you are willing to hold. Okay, another permission.

So many permission slips today. Taking a pause, laying it down. I hope that you are finding even the smallest little moments of sweetness within this holiday season, and if this meditation gets to be one of them, I feel so honored to be able to have given that as my gift to you. Until I see you in the next episode, please, please remember that you are not [00:21:00] alone..