Trish: [00:00:00] Welcome to today's episode. I'm so excited about talking to Steph. Dr. Steph is a former NASA psychologist turned healing coach, and she says she is a healing coach for daughters of narcissistic women. She guides them on how to break free of anxiety, perfectionism, people pleasing, and the annoying good girl syndrome so that they can feel calm and at ease and present and capable.

So I'm so excited. Listen in. Good morning, everyone. I am so pleased to introduce our guest today. Dr. Steph is a healing coach and she has such an interesting story. This conversation may take some twists and turns, but you guys know that. That's pretty much always what happens. So welcome, Dr. Steph.

Stephanie: Thank you for having me.

I'm so excited to be on today.

Trish: I am too. I would love for you. So we've been having like a little conversation before we started recording, and I would love for you to [00:01:00] tell everyone your story. how this became your focus for your practice.

Stephanie: Yeah. Yes. I'm a former NASA psychologist. I worked there for eight years.

So most of the time when people hear that, they're like, wait a second, how did you get from there to here? And A portion of what I was doing at NASA has a large overlap, which tends to confuse people. And so I'll bring you up to speed really quick. I was an organizational development consultant, and I did a lot of leadership coaching.

And when doing leadership coaching, it was almost always about the leadership. the leader and their self awareness and their self accountability and their self acceptance and how they could overcome fear and, have hard conversations and all of this. And so there was some healing that needed to be done in order for them to really step up.

step into that leadership role. And I realized that while I was there, I was like, this [00:02:00] is what I love the most. This is what I want to do all the time. And I also had this moment in my first year at NASA where I went to this workshop, this five day workshop that completely changed the trajectory of my entire life.

Walking in. I had these moments several times a year where I actually felt broken. On the outside, I felt, I looked like I had it all together. Everybody was like, Oh yeah, what did you write, get raised and like by Martha Stewart. Literally, I got comments like that. And on the inside I was dealing with anxiety.

I had high functioning anxiety. So I was still like doing the things, but I felt like a wreck on the inside. And I also had this pattern of having emotional breakdowns, like reoccurring, emotional breakdowns, all these things together, loving, helping leaders really start. step into their role, [00:03:00] recognizing the, what I was struggling with previously, like years before that, and then had these aha moments and big shifts in my life.

I'm like, I want to help people that felt like I did. I don't want anybody to feel like they're broken and to be struggling with anxiety and perfectionism when they don't have to.

Trish: I love that so much because I think that as you were talking, I was thinking that a lot of us just accept those, the emotional turmoil and those different things as our normal and maybe thinking.

I can't ever have freedom for that. That's just who I am. And that's how I function. And like you said, because on the outside you were functioning well and you have your life together and things are going well. It's it becomes harder to deal with those things because it's working for you. So you said [00:04:00] you went to this workshop and you realized like that would be, that you really are passionate about that healing part, the healing, the inner trauma.

So what do you do now?

Stephanie: Yeah. Yeah. So now I work with clients who struggle with high function and anxiety. Many of them have, basically all of them have one of three things happening for them. They were raised by an emotionally immature parent or a narcissistic parent or maybe one that struggled with substance abuse or something like that.

And so there's a lot of trauma that they've been through and a lot of healing necessary today. And so the work that I do with them is to guide them through that so that they're not dealing with that anymore. Not that we're not going to have hard things come up. But what shocked me through my healing journey is hard stuff can happen and I can remain grounded.

That's possible for me because I didn't think that was. I was like, no I'm just a worrier. That's who I am. Like I'm just an [00:05:00] anxious person. That's my default. And I was wrong. And so now I'm like screaming from the rooftops no, that's not true. Even if you feel like you've always been anxious, for instance, there was a time just consider there was a time that you weren't.

Think here's a quick metaphor. Do you ever remember learning what a chair was? No, but there was a time that you didn't know what a chair was, and so it's very possible that what I'm suggesting could be true for you as well.

Trish: I love that so much. So my husband is all about mindset and I focus a lot on mindset inside my birth courses and inside my mama membership because a part of that transition into motherhood you really have to work on your mindset and that inner healing we have we hired a life coach who comes in to help my members break generational cycles and deal with [00:06:00] trauma.

And it's been really incredible to see and experience with them. But one of the things that has been so powerful for me is such a simple trick, I don't know. I saw it. I think it was Mel Robbins, I think he said, and it's count, like counting backwards to five or another, so for those of you guys listening if it's something you're having to do, or maybe you don't want to do, or you're struggling with anxiety about doing something, you count down five, four, three, two, one up, like you get up and you do it.

And then the other thing that's been really. Big for me when I, because my family's gone through a lot the last couple of years, crazy stuff. And my husband was like, I've never struggled with major depression until two years ago. And I didn't want to get up and function. And he, his thing [00:07:00] was, and I'm going off on a way tangent, but that's okay.

Everybody knows this. Yeah. Yeah. So his thing was, okay, what's the next step? What's the next step? And then I heard, I believe it was Mel Robbins. So the next step really helped me. Okay, I don't have to focus on everything that has to get done. You don't have to figure out A through Z.

Stephanie: I gave a client that advice this morning who were like, one thing.

Trish: Just so you guys listening know, little Tula, everybody who follows me knows Tula, she is in my office today and being very clingy and whiny. So if you hear her, I'm so sorry. Anyway, the next best thing really helped me. But then I heard someone say, and now I can't remember who, but they said, tell yourself, I am the type of person who, and so when I was really struggling with anxiety and worry about the what ifs and all the things, I would say, okay, I'm the type of person who shows up.

Yeah. Who does the hard thing. Yeah. And then working on that. [00:08:00] So I'd love to hear in light of that, this is where this whole thing is going. And you said you just told one of your clients that same thing, do the next, next best thing is what he always says to me. Yeah. What are some of those small, quick things that you share with your clients that would help a mom?

Because not everybody can afford a healing coach or even therapy in general. Yeah. So what are some practical little nuggets that you have?

Stephanie: Yeah. One simple thing that most people do not realize is that they are using the word anxiety to label a whole slew of emotions. And especially when being raised by an emotionally immature parent, the emotional vocabulary of people is limited.

So they're like, yeah, happy, sad, but it's just, there's just not the spectrum there. And everything is I'm anxious. And [00:09:00] so two changes, one, we're going to change it to part of me feels anxious. And then two, anytime that you tell yourself you're anxious, pull out an emotion wheel. And if you haven't heard of that before, Google it, there's a ton on the internet and look for.

But what else am I feeling? Because anxiety actually tends to be suppressed emotions. So where you are actually not allowing yourself to feel other things. And the important part is when you look at that emotion wheel and oh, there's something else here, what you do about it could be totally different.

For instance, if I'm feeling. overwhelmed, I might make a completely different choice than if I'm feeling incompetent. But people might label both of those as feeling anxious. So if I'm overwhelmed, what can I do? Lots of things. One, ask for help. Two, take some things off of my to do [00:10:00] list. Look, what am I actually telling myself that I need to do, but what's actually a glass ball that has to happen today?

Like glass ball, meaning if I drop it, it's going to break. Like most things, they don't have to happen today.

Trish: And I love the glass ball. That's fantastic. Yes.

Stephanie: Thank you. And now I just intentionally drop the plastic balls because it doesn't really matter. And the old me would have been like building it up and catastrophizing and worst case scenario and like, no, I have to.

And I had this moment one time where I got sick and it was not too long before I had a presentation that I was going to be doing. And I. I was so worried about all these things in life, and then also prepping for this presentation. And then when I got sick and really couldn't do any of it, I realized that nothing really mattered because everything just got pushed to the right.

Yeah. Just to the next [00:11:00] week, and then it all got done and it was all okay. And Even like subtle things like that can make huge shifts.

Trish: I love that so much. One of the things that I learned early on when I created the membership, I took a membership course. Yeah. And the lady said their urgency is never your emergency.

Yes. And that was so freeing for my team and I because we would get caught up in that urgency and feel like, Oh my gosh, we've got to fix this for them. Yeah. We set the pattern that. we will respond, but in our time and how, and we didn't let it become our emergency. So I love that so much. But I also, as you were talking, because my children have both been in therapy pretty consistently for the last few years.

And I remember her doing that with my son and it made me think. A lot of people don't know how to recognize what emotion they're actually feeling. They don't. So even if they had the [00:12:00] wheel, it might take them time to figure that out.

Stephanie: It can take practice and that's where having someone external to you, it does help a lot.

So in that case you would ask,

Trish: and you would what, ask like clarifying questions like to dig deep as to what they're feeling?

Stephanie: Yeah. And usually because I've been doing this so long, I can recognize pretty quickly. And then they're like, yeah, that is what I'm feeling. And then they feel very safe.

Trish: I know my husband will always say to me when I'm like, I'm feeling, anxious or overwhelmed and he'll be like, what are you what are you saying to yourself inside there? What is it that's on repeat? And I'll I've begun to be better at recognizing oh wow. Yeah.

And like you said, a lot of those worries that we catastrophize, a lot of times they don't ever come true. And it's, someone said to me years ago in my parenting, I've been a mom for a very long time, and another mom said to me, stop saying what if, say even [00:13:00] if. Yeah. And she taught me to flip my what ifs.

Because a lot of times. It doesn't matter. Our what ifs are like, Oh yeah, even if that does happen, like I'll handle it.

Stephanie: You're exactly. Yes. Even if it does happen, I can cope. And most people are like, wait a second, but I don't just want to cope. And it's yes you do. Because when you, without a shadow of a doubt, know in your entire body and your entire system that you can cope, you fly.

Because nothing gets in the way anymore. Because even if that worst case scenario happens, I've got this. And I don't have to resist this and fight this. And I'm speaking from where I was because I refer to myself as someone who used to fight life. And I don't hear anybody else using that term. They'll say Oh, just surrender.

When you're not surrendering, you are fighting life.

Trish: I love that so much because it is hard to be present and it's hard to live when you're living in a state of anxiety and worry and overwhelm and like fretting [00:14:00] about everything. That is, it's hard to have peace and life should be peaceful.

Stephanie: Yes, and it can be.

It's so possible. And so one of the things, like just a simple, I like to do, deep inner work, but also practical things. I take, because both are important. Practically, take a look at your life and all the things that you are afraid of happening and all the things that you catastrophize and you're like, Oh my gosh I just don't know if this is going to work out.

Write it all down and then go through each one. what ended up happening. And when I do this myself, when I've had my clients do it, it's 98 percent of the time it worked out fine or better. Or better. Yes. So your mind needs that concrete evidence to prove to yourself, it is okay, everything is

Trish: okay.

I love that so much. I know you and I were talking beforehand and my ex husband was classic, like narcissist. Yeah. More than narcissist, but narcissist. [00:15:00] Yeah. Yeah. And I remember But now here I am a nurse, but I had stopped working full time to build Labor Nurse Mama. Yeah. And I really believed in my business.

I knew what I was doing is, was impactful and important. Yeah. And I remember. And I can put myself back in this moment so vividly. The emotions were so strong. And one of his things was making me feel that I could not survive on my own. We had been together since we were babies. And we were sitting there and all of a sudden he was telling me you're gonna, we had just built our dream home.

It was gorgeous and everything I wanted and I remember him saying you're not going to be able to have this house, and you're not going to have this, and you're not going to have that. And I started getting really in my head, and one of my friends was like, what is a house if it's not a home?

Who cares? And I accepted that. Yeah. I was willing to, for me and the two, because at the time I only had two of [00:16:00] my seven left at home. And I was like, I was willing for us to live in a one bedroom on food stamps, have nothing, but I would not have discord in my home a moment longer. And everything that happened my business literally exploded the month my divorce was final.

Oh, I'm so proud of you. I just look back and like I was so gripped in fear of the unknown, because I only knew this life with him. And then. just this feeling of I won't be able to survive, but I did. And like you said, it was even better. Like things were so much better. Yes.

Stephanie: Yes. That is so damaging.

I like know, but I don't know the details, but I know there were so many things that were damaging, but my birth father used to say those things to my mom and it just so like on the self esteem and the self worth just. takes so much of a hit, but I am so freaking [00:17:00] proud of you that you took the leap and you left because people can get stuck for their whole lives.

Trish: Oh, I was stuck there for 27 years. Now I look back and I'm like, the thing about it that is so mind blowing to me is that I, don't understand how I believe the things he told me about myself because my character and my life accomplishments testified otherwise. Otherwise, yeah. But I believed him, like I truly believed who he said I was.

Yeah. And it took me it's been four and a half years, five years since I left him. And it's taken me every bit of that to pull those weeds out. And every once in a while, something will creep up and be like, wait, where is that coming from? That is not based in truth. And having to flip that and be like, no and it's when you are in narcissistic abuse, it is like the biggest of oak [00:18:00] trees with tons of roots going into every area of your mind and your soul.

Yes. Yes. I think it, I really truly believe it's one of the hardest things to break free from.

Stephanie: I agree. Yeah. It really can be. But I love

Trish: what you're doing. And I love that. For those of you guys listening, I think. Part of the problem, though, is recognizing that maybe your mother was narcissistic or what you experienced was not normal, because that was the hardest part for me is that when I left him, I did believe all the things he said about me, but he did things that, you know.

a wife should not have to deal with. And that was the breaking straw. It wasn't the narcissistic abuse. That took me time and away from him to realize it was abuse. And I think that is one of the things I see as a huge challenge is that these women that you work with, not the women you work with, the women you need to work with don't even realize from their mother.

Stephanie: Yep. Yep. Because we're [00:19:00] taught it's

Trish: exciting that our mother knows best. That's the saying.

Stephanie: Yeah. Yeah. Some signs in case anyone's listening and they haven't considered it or they're like, is she? I'll just go over a few. There's quite a few. But, one is self centered, so talking about herself constantly. Conversations are not actually conversations, they're one sided. It's basically I'm being talked at, trying to top your feelings with her own, lacking empathy for your feelings at all as well. If you've ever gone to Hallmark and tried to buy a card for your mom and you're like, this is just lies and you can't, that could be a sign.

Overly cautious about what other people think. So very image focused and the experience inside the home is very different than outside the home. If she shows up, and this could be like past because maybe you have some separation from your mom now or [00:20:00] current if she shows up with a lot of jealousy and is highly critical of you acting like the world revolves around her.

We can keep going, but I think this gives some clarity and some signs. Yeah. Yeah.

Trish: And I, as you're talking, I think as a mother, sometimes we struggle with some of those things on occasion. Yeah. Yeah.

Stephanie: There's a continuum.

Trish: Yeah. Yeah. Because I know that when I was in the height of my abuse, it was very hard for me to be present for anyone in my life, but Yeah.

So those, I think those are really clear. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm sure for any of you guys listening, we really, I really would say that being raised by a narcissistic mother, you would need to work on those things and heal those things. Because if that was taught to you as normalcy, you might carry that into your parenting journey.

Stephanie: Yeah, this is on a continuum [00:21:00] where we have some narcissistic traits all the way to full blown narcissistic personality disorder, and all of us have some. Yeah. And so just like you said, and a couple other things that I, that are important is also not taking responsibility for their actions and their behavior.

I'm brushing things under the rugs. The rug is really common as well appearing phony. But yeah, if you are raised by a narcissist or an emotionally immature parent, we'll just focus on narcissists right now, the likelihood that you have carried on at least some of that is high. So for me, some of the things that were really common is, were heavy defense mechanisms.

And I had a lot of insecurities. And whenever those insecurities were triggered, I was getting defensive constantly. And I would walk away from situations feeling so confused why I was so upset. [00:22:00] That's exactly what was modeled to me. in the home. And that has been part of my healing journey is drastically reducing that defensiveness and healing those insecurities so that I can show up as who I am, which the old me, I'm going to share this just in case that somebody like can relate.

I thought, now let me give an example. When I was, Going for my interview at NASA, I was waiting because they had a few interviews that day and I was waiting, outside the door and I told the women who were sitting there, I was like, Oh my gosh, I'm so nervous. And they were like, just be yourself.

And I didn't say this to them, but the immediate thing that happened for me is I can't be myself because I thought the bad parts of me were who I was. Like, that's what I believed and it's no, all of those not so shiny parts and quote unquote bad parts and things that I felt shame around, those were defense mechanisms.

Not my [00:23:00] personality, but in, I noticed that my clients are making this exact mistake. They think that's who they are and it's not, which means you can change all of that.

Trish: I love that so much, and I think even a step further, having lived with narcissism in such an intimate way, is that the good things, the strong things about you are so warped and you're told there that it's bad and it's labeled as certain.

So then you think those strong things. are bad things. And so it really is a healing journey, like you said, to realize wait, I did that because I was in a state of defense all the time. Yeah. And that actually is a really good character over here. This is a good thing about me. I know for myself, anytime I set up boundaries, then I was accused of being selfish.

Stephanie: Yes. Yes. I should have said that one.

Trish: [00:24:00] Yeah. And so I was really confused as to what just to put that in perspective, I remember when I first left him and I was taking a boundaries class and I remember saying to, now this cracks me up. But I was saying, I remember saying to my therapist, is it wrong for me to?

Tell the kids they can't come in for two hours while I watch a movie by myself. I truly believe that was unacceptable behavior because there are no boundaries with narcissists. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And anytime you put up a boundary, then you're, you're selfish. If you, even if you say this is mine, I don't want to share it.

Or this is my time. I don't want to, I want to be alone. Yeah. That's a hard, that's hard. Lots of therapy. I love that. Tell me just [00:25:00] a little bit, I, I forgot to tell you when we started, I usually try to keep these under 30 to 40 minutes because mamas are busy and they drop off.

Yeah. But you also, and I want to talk about this, you also mentioned surrogacy. So tell me that.

Stephanie: Yes. Okay. I have had the desire to be a surrogate since I first got pregnant. I had a friend who struggled with infertility for six years and another friend for eight years, multiple miscarriages, and it was just on my heart.

And fast forward to October 2021 And that's the first time that I brought it up to my husband. I was like, I want to be a surrogate. And he was like, no, he was not on board. And the number of people that I had offered to be a surrogate, I just brushed his, no to the side. And I was like I think it's meant to be.

So I just. Like anytime anybody was talking about, that I was like, I'll be your surrogate. And I offered. My [00:26:00] client, one of my clients in January, she got on a call. It was a group call, but she got on a little bit earlier just to catch up from Christmas. And she's I started working with an agency and I'm interviewing a surrogate and it.

Trish. I was just like, I'll be your surrogate. And she said, yes. So she thought I was joking. Yeah. Okay. So I don't know if I'm pregnant yet. Last week we did the embryo transfer. So that was beginning of January and now we're recording this June 10th. And on Friday, I will know, which is four days from now.

I'm dying. Do you follow

Trish: Sam Matthews? Yes, I love her. Yeah. She was on the podcast and she took my birth class for her first surrogate baby. And she has now, so she's one of our referrers. She refers people to the birth classes, but I love her so much. She's so cute. And I am so So happy about [00:27:00] this journey she's having now because I know it's everything she wanted just to have a relationship and I just love that so much.

Like what a gift. You are amazing.

Stephanie: Oh, thank you so much. Thank you. I really hope that this embryo sticks and develops into a healthy pregnancy. I can't wait to find out for sure. Oh my goodness. That is incredible. I

Trish: love that. Thank you. We've had quite a few surrogate moms in our community and it's such a beauty.

I wish I would I was pregnant a lot, so I wouldn't have had time to do it probably because I was pregnant so often, but it's definitely something I would have done because I love being pregnant and I'm such a weirdo. I love giving birth. I love it too. I try to teach you. This is what I tell the people you can actually love your birth experience you can love labor.

It really is all about mindset.

Stephanie: Yes.

Trish: It really is. And on average, it's really funny. On average, my students who take the birth class, but also we do weekly [00:28:00] pregnancy hangouts, with me and my doulas. And then we have something called our labor bat signal, which is a group that it's an add on that they can add on for 49, which is insane.

And they get a group text with me and two doulas from 36 weeks to eight weeks pregnant. Wow. The reason I'm saying that is because we're able to work on their mindset intimately and help them navigate so they're not making fear based decisions and understanding what's being said. And on average, my students get to the hospital at seven to eight centimeters.

Wow. Is that not incredible? Yes. And then it's not like a lot of people listening that aren't my student are probably thinking seven to eight centimeters are probably freaking out and pulling their hair and screaming. But they're not. Most of the time they get there and they're like, wait, what? They hear me say that most of my students do that.

But then when it's them, they can't believe it's not like they think that they're seven to eight. They think they're even thinking, gosh, should I have come? Am I really is it time? And they're seven to eight centimeters. Yeah.

Stephanie: [00:29:00] Yeah. Sorry.

Trish: No, it's mindset. It really is. I tell people this all the time.

Like you can actually love your birth. Yes.

Stephanie: Yes. I totally agree. I do unmedicated deliveries and feel very calm during labor and delivery. And I want everybody to know that's possible. Me too.

Trish: Yeah. And I'm not saying that all of you guys need to go unmedicated. I went unmedicated with all of mine as well.

But. Yeah. You can have that still and labor at home and have a beautiful laboring experience even if your plan is an epidural. But you get to the hospital at seven to eight centimeters with, especially with your first, you've got plenty of time to get an epidural. Yeah. Yeah. That's what you choose.

But I love unmedicated birth as well. Me too. Yeah. My, my ex mother in law who's passed away years and years ago, but she was like, you're the only weirdo I know who every time you're at a birth, which was a lot, you're like, Oh, let's have another baby. Cause I just, it's so beautiful and amazing [00:30:00] and I love it.

And I had some hard births. Don't get me wrong. My daughter Lainey was face up straight OP. It was hell, but I still loved it.

Stephanie: Yeah.

Trish: But, so I love that and I can't wait to hear the news. Thank you. But I was, I also, so we can all follow the updates, can you tell everyone where they can find you if they're interested in diving deeper with you?

Yes. And also to follow your content on Instagram because I'm sure you do some education on there as well.

Stephanie: Yep. Best place to find me is on Instagram. My handle is Dr. Stephanie Lopez, DR Stephanie Lopez, and I have a podcast. The name is the Broken knit Brave Podcast with Dr. Steph, and I do up updates all the time in my stories about surrogacy and then somewhat on my feed, and then occasionally on the podcast.

Trish: Oh, I love it so much. What a blessing. I love, I don't believe in coincidences. I tell people this all the time I don't believe in coincidence [00:31:00] and what an amazing experience that she showed up early, that she shared that with you. Yeah. Yes. And you

Stephanie: already have that desire

Trish: in your heart.

Stephanie: It gets even better.

And I know we're at time, but it's 11 right now. Just, okay. So maybe there's a lot of things that I know it was not a coincidence, but one really powerful one was the month that I decided to tell my husband. that October 2021 is the month that they called their families, the intended mom and dad, and told them that they were going to pursue surrogacy.

And this might sound really weird to some people and that's okay. I, but I'm like, I think that little baby soul has been following me since then because I have had this like urge and desire. And the fact that it was the same month, same year, I'm like that's the universe. [00:32:00] That is not a coincidence.

Trish: So I am a believer and I believe in God. So when I say this story, I believe it was a God thing. Yeah. I have a daughter who's adopted from India. Yeah. And in March of 1999, I, it was March 1st of 1999, I had this overwhelming, I was actually breastfeeding my one year old and I had this overwhelming I want to adopt, like I want to adopt.

Yeah. And I was young, okay? I had all four boys by the time I was 25, just to put that in perspective. Yeah. So I was 26 maybe at the time or 25 even. I don't remember. I was young. And I had this overwhelming desire. It was March of 1999. Believe that's right. Yes. It's been a while. I need to look at my notes.

But I ended up being like, this is before the internet is what the internet is now. Oh yeah. And so I went online and I filled out a couple forms and I started getting information after [00:33:00] information from all these different places. And in my mind, I had four little boys with blonde hair, blue eyes.

And I live in the South and I was like, I'm going to adopt from Russia. That way she won't feel different or any of that. I knew I was going to do a girl, want a girl because I had four boys. And so I started filling out all this information. I kept getting all these magazines and stuff. And on them, I'm seeing these dark hair, dark skinned girls.

And my heart just kept I don't even, I can't even explain it. So then I was really like, okay, which agency? Cause there were so many and I prayed about it and I was led to this one. And so I called them and on my interview with them, It was with another parent, they had parents call people who were interested so you could talk to them and talk about their experience or whatever.

So the lady that called me, her name was Shauna, and we're talking and she said have you decided on a country? And I said the weirdest thing is that I had decided on Russia, but I just keep [00:34:00] feeling this tug to India. And she said, oh my goodness, sit down. And she go, at this point, it'd been a year.

Yeah. She goes, last March. When you decided. She went to India for this agency to try to get them approved for the for adoptions out of India. Yeah. They got approved the same time that I felt this call to adopt. I'm getting teary eyed. Now, fast forward. My daughter was born March of 2000 and she came home.

I was, which is a long story. My son keeps like saying, you have to do a podcast on this. She, I was in India getting her during September 11th and got stuck there. So that was a whole another thing. But, But that being said. It all was, like, happening at the same time across the world. And I always say that my daughter was born in another country, but born to me, like we were [00:35:00] meant to be.

Yeah. That's so beautiful. I think that's incredible and make sure you're journaling that because I'm probably saying things wrong right now. That's why it's been, she's 23 or 24 now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I have it all written down because one day you'll be fuzzy, but thank you so much for coming.

Can you tell me like what are your like offerings or like what is it that you offer to women who are looking for healing?

Stephanie: Yes, I have a group program and it's six months long that you get all the healing that you need. It comes with a two day in person retreat, which expedites. the progress. And then I also offer a separate five day in person retreat, which after people come they're like, Oh my God, I learned more than in 10 years of therapy.

And I'm like, yes, this is why I do what I do because I want to save people time like that. I don't want you to be in therapy for decade, when we can really expedite [00:36:00] your healing.

Trish: The problem with therapy, and I don't know if you've seen Jonah Hill's that his Dr. Stutz or whatever it is, have you seen this?

No. So he has a documentary that he made with his therapist and his therapist is completely out of the box, but he says in there that you go to your therapist wanting them to tell you what to do. And they don't. And then you go to your friends, wanting them to listen, and they tell you what to do.

You're like, you're dumb friends, and it's so true. And they don't know. Yeah. And they don't know. And it's so true with therapy. Sometimes you just want someone to give you practical steps on how to handle it and not just listen.

Stephanie: That's what I do, give practical steps. I bring in three pillars.

That's everything that they need that I use now all of my clients have used to

Trish: heal. So do they need to be a part of your community for the five day or the three day or is that? They can come to the, they can come to those separately. Yeah. Okay. That's what I was wondering. All right. Thank you so much for being here today.

I so [00:37:00] appreciate it. All right, you guys have a wonderful day. Take care.

Wow, what a powerful episode. I hope you guys learned something so valuable. Please hit subscribe, leave a review. It means so very much to me. And as always, I will see you again next Friday. Bye for now.