00:00:00.557 --> 00:00:05.217

Kevin Lowe: Okay, I'll be the first to admit it. It may not sound like the most fascinating

00:00:05.217 --> 00:00:10.317

Kevin Lowe: or interesting topic to talk about, but today I'm talking about the need to rest.

00:00:10.677 --> 00:00:14.737

Kevin Lowe: Now, I'm not talking about a good night's sleep or an afternoon nap,

00:00:14.977 --> 00:00:18.437

Kevin Lowe: although, let's face it, each of those have their place.

00:00:18.837 --> 00:00:25.037

Kevin Lowe: Today, I'm talking about a soul-nurturing rest, the kind of rest that you need

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Kevin Lowe: after you endure trauma in life.

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Kevin Lowe: More specifically, inside of today's 394th episode of Grit, Grace,

00:00:33.637 --> 00:00:40.237

Kevin Lowe: and Inspiration, I'm talking about why it's absolutely necessary to pause after trauma.

00:00:40.717 --> 00:00:45.417

Kevin Lowe: Now, trauma can come in many different shapes and forms. It can be heartbreak.

00:00:45.597 --> 00:00:46.497

Kevin Lowe: It can be disappointment.

00:00:46.857 --> 00:00:50.997

Kevin Lowe: It can be something physical, something emotional. All of that is trauma.

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Kevin Lowe: And today, what I want you to understand is that, first and foremost,

00:00:56.577 --> 00:00:59.557

Kevin Lowe: you have a reason to need a pause from life.

00:00:59.797 --> 00:01:05.197

Kevin Lowe: You have a reason to need to just take a step back, to take a breather,

00:01:05.417 --> 00:01:10.137

Kevin Lowe: to take a little afternoon nap from life, because you've just endured a lot.

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Kevin Lowe: And so today, we're going to be talking about why that is, how to accomplish

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Kevin Lowe: it, and what's going to happen in the end.

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Kevin Lowe: So, my friend, that's all what's happening today.

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Kevin Lowe: Of course, I'm your host, Kevin Lowe. And as always, I am so happy you're here

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Kevin Lowe: and can't wait for us to dive in.

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00:01:46.481 --> 00:01:50.181

Kevin Lowe: Can understand that the essence of what I'm talking about is honestly quite simple.

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Kevin Lowe: The strongest thing you can do, the best decision you can make after experiencing

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Kevin Lowe: trauma in your life is honestly going to be probably one of the hardest. That is to slow down.

00:02:02.721 --> 00:02:07.521

Kevin Lowe: Because for some reason, we are bred to believe that we need to push through.

00:02:07.741 --> 00:02:10.981

Kevin Lowe: We need to keep going. We need to move a little bit faster.

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Kevin Lowe: Because the faster you move, well, the faster you get out of the hard times.

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Kevin Lowe: But in fact, what I found is that the opposite is true, is that we have to give

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Kevin Lowe: ourselves time to slow down, to reflect, to understand that we've been through a lot.

00:02:28.801 --> 00:02:33.981

Kevin Lowe: Our physical bodies, our emotional, spiritual, all of it has just endured a

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Kevin Lowe: lot with this traumatic event.

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Kevin Lowe: And at some point in time, we have to give ourselves time to just pause, to rest, to recover.

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Kevin Lowe: Because the simple truth is, is that some wounds, they take time to heal.

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Kevin Lowe: And the deepest wounds, the emotional ones, they're the ones that oftentimes take the longest.

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Kevin Lowe: The wounds that no one else sees. It's only the wounds that you feel.

00:03:01.261 --> 00:03:05.001

Kevin Lowe: The wounds that you feel in the middle of the night. When you're remembering

00:03:05.001 --> 00:03:09.321

Kevin Lowe: the loss of the person who you loved, who's no longer lying next to you.

00:03:09.621 --> 00:03:14.081

Kevin Lowe: It's the loss of the life that you wanted. The dreams that never came true.

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Kevin Lowe: It's that kind of hurt that I'm talking about.

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Kevin Lowe: And I believe these invisible wounds, they require more than just time. They require patience.

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Kevin Lowe: They require grace.

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Kevin Lowe: And they require kindness to ourselves.

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Kevin Lowe: So if you're in a state in your life where you're feeling like you need to just

00:03:36.163 --> 00:03:38.343

Kevin Lowe: keep moving, you got to keep hustling.

00:03:38.483 --> 00:03:43.583

Kevin Lowe: You need to do the next thing because, well, there's so much to do and you don't

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Kevin Lowe: want to stop and you don't want to think about the hurt and the pain.

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Kevin Lowe: My friend, I'm just here to tell you that obviously you're the only one who

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Kevin Lowe: ever knows when it's time.

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Kevin Lowe: But at some point, you're going to have to just give yourself time to sit in it, to understand it,

00:04:01.123 --> 00:04:09.083

Kevin Lowe: to feel it, to let yourself move through it, through the act of taking a pause, by taking a break.

00:04:09.383 --> 00:04:12.643

Kevin Lowe: Remember, this is an afternoon nap from life.

00:04:12.963 --> 00:04:18.163

Kevin Lowe: If you want to use a metaphor, think of trauma as a hurricane, a storm.

00:04:18.603 --> 00:04:22.543

Kevin Lowe: And after the hurricane comes through, there's going to be damage.

00:04:23.243 --> 00:04:25.963

Kevin Lowe: There's going to be limbs that are down, trees knocked over,

00:04:26.643 --> 00:04:28.443

Kevin Lowe: shingles ripped off of the roof.

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Kevin Lowe: And you can't just rush outside and start fixing things. You can't immediately

00:04:33.823 --> 00:04:36.403

Kevin Lowe: start watering the grass.

00:04:36.663 --> 00:04:42.503

Kevin Lowe: You can't start immediately mowing the yard, putting trees back up.

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Kevin Lowe: No, you have to first be able to survey the damage, to understand what you're

00:04:48.443 --> 00:04:50.983

Kevin Lowe: left with, what damage was caused.

00:04:51.523 --> 00:04:57.503

Kevin Lowe: What is the impact going to be? And the essence here is if you rush out too

00:04:57.503 --> 00:05:02.643

Kevin Lowe: soon, all you're doing, my friend, is you're trying to rebuild your life on top of the debris.

00:05:03.103 --> 00:05:09.763

Kevin Lowe: You no longer have a solid foundation. You're building upon wreckage of disappointment.

00:05:10.303 --> 00:05:15.643

Kevin Lowe: That's no way to build a new life. So instead, if you take a pause,

00:05:15.963 --> 00:05:20.523

Kevin Lowe: if you give yourself the time, the grace to survey the damage,

00:05:21.807 --> 00:05:26.227

Kevin Lowe: That little bit of a pause, that little bit of a break can give you the time

00:05:26.227 --> 00:05:29.947

Kevin Lowe: to have the mental clarity you need to come up with a game plan,

00:05:29.947 --> 00:05:34.967

Kevin Lowe: to understand what you're looking at, and therefore you can begin to move forward.

00:05:36.847 --> 00:05:41.647

Kevin Lowe: Now, when I talk about taking a pause, this intentional pause,

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Kevin Lowe: or as I was using the relation to an afternoon nap from life,

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Kevin Lowe: what does this exactly look like in terms of being sure that you're getting

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Kevin Lowe: the most out of this time?

00:05:54.087 --> 00:05:56.947

Kevin Lowe: Well, I broke it down into three simple steps.

00:05:58.047 --> 00:06:02.967

Kevin Lowe: The first step, and is oftentimes the most difficult, is literally giving yourself

00:06:02.967 --> 00:06:07.387

Kevin Lowe: permission to take the pause, to take that afternoon nap from life.

00:06:07.727 --> 00:06:12.567

Kevin Lowe: Because at some point in time, you have to give yourself permission to just stop.

00:06:12.967 --> 00:06:16.727

Kevin Lowe: You keep going, you keep striving, you keep trying to do the thing,

00:06:17.467 --> 00:06:22.607

Kevin Lowe: but at some point you have to just realize, you know what? Maybe I just need to take a break.

00:06:22.987 --> 00:06:29.567

Kevin Lowe: Maybe I need to stop trying, stop doing, and I need to just sit in it to understand

00:06:29.567 --> 00:06:35.687

Kevin Lowe: that it's okay for me to not be doing, to not be moving forward because I've just been through a lot.

00:06:36.207 --> 00:06:41.407

Kevin Lowe: The fact is, is that in the pause, in the silent, it isn't weakness.

00:06:41.627 --> 00:06:43.787

Kevin Lowe: That's where strength and clarity is found.

00:06:44.187 --> 00:06:48.567

Kevin Lowe: It's where you can begin to understand what you're even feeling.

00:06:48.887 --> 00:06:54.347

Kevin Lowe: Because when we continue to move forward in life, always pursuing and pushing

00:06:54.347 --> 00:06:58.187

Kevin Lowe: through because we don't want to face what we've gone through,

00:06:58.827 --> 00:07:01.687

Kevin Lowe: my friend, we're never going to have that clarity.

00:07:01.967 --> 00:07:06.387

Kevin Lowe: We're constantly dragging a bunch of crap with us that doesn't belong.

00:07:06.807 --> 00:07:11.667

Kevin Lowe: You have to be able to give yourself a chance to just catch your breath,

00:07:11.667 --> 00:07:16.967

Kevin Lowe: to understand that it's going to be okay and to understand how you're feeling.

00:07:17.909 --> 00:07:24.289

Kevin Lowe: My next little step here is understanding that the type of soul-nurturing rest

00:07:24.289 --> 00:07:28.629

Kevin Lowe: I'm talking about, it's not just physical, it's emotional, it's spiritual.

00:07:28.869 --> 00:07:34.349

Kevin Lowe: And in this moment, it may give you the opportunity to finally feel the feels,

00:07:34.349 --> 00:07:41.209

Kevin Lowe: to scream, to cry, to rage, or maybe it's to laugh. Maybe it is to cry.

00:07:41.849 --> 00:07:46.769

Kevin Lowe: Maybe it is to find somebody to lean on, a pillow to hug, a dog,

00:07:46.949 --> 00:07:49.349

Kevin Lowe: your best friend to snuggle with.

00:07:49.629 --> 00:07:54.649

Kevin Lowe: And it's in these moments, I believe, when we can actually begin to heal,

00:07:54.849 --> 00:08:00.289

Kevin Lowe: when we begin to finally allow ourselves the opportunity to let the emotions come out.

00:08:00.529 --> 00:08:06.769

Kevin Lowe: Now, again, I'm not here to pretend this is easy, and I believe every single

00:08:06.769 --> 00:08:08.409

Kevin Lowe: one of us are on our own timeline.

00:08:09.249 --> 00:08:13.969

Kevin Lowe: Some people can go through this immediately. Some people, it may take years.

00:08:14.389 --> 00:08:19.689

Kevin Lowe: I did not fully get to a point where I was ready to move through what happened

00:08:19.689 --> 00:08:24.229

Kevin Lowe: to me, becoming blind, for the better part of about 10 years.

00:08:25.069 --> 00:08:28.949

Kevin Lowe: Now, in that 10 years, of course, I cried. I struggled.

00:08:29.329 --> 00:08:35.729

Kevin Lowe: Even to this day, there are days that I mourn the loss of the life that I thought I was going to have.

00:08:36.049 --> 00:08:42.569

Kevin Lowe: I mourn the loss of my ability to see. It doesn't mean that this makes everything better.

00:08:42.849 --> 00:08:48.569

Kevin Lowe: No, it just gives you the opportunity to finally move into the next chapter

00:08:48.569 --> 00:08:54.489

Kevin Lowe: of life free of all the hurt and all the disappointment that you've been carrying with you.

00:08:54.769 --> 00:09:00.189

Kevin Lowe: It gives you an opportunity to just free yourself of all of that crap and get

00:09:00.189 --> 00:09:04.129

Kevin Lowe: yourself where you can enter into a new season of life.

00:09:04.129 --> 00:09:08.949

Kevin Lowe: The third step in this process of taking an intentional pause,

00:09:09.189 --> 00:09:14.229

Kevin Lowe: a pause with a purpose, a pause that I hope and pray will make a difference,

00:09:14.609 --> 00:09:17.609

Kevin Lowe: is being willing to ask yourself the tough questions.

00:09:18.149 --> 00:09:22.169

Kevin Lowe: How am I really doing? How am I really feeling?

00:09:22.549 --> 00:09:28.949

Kevin Lowe: Not what I pretend to be, not what I post on social media, not what I tell my family or my friends.

00:09:29.249 --> 00:09:31.009

Kevin Lowe: How am I really doing?

00:09:31.849 --> 00:09:38.429

Kevin Lowe: Where I am right now, what do I need? What do I want? What do I dream about?

00:09:38.869 --> 00:09:40.689

Kevin Lowe: What do I want to come true?

00:09:41.309 --> 00:09:46.829

Kevin Lowe: Not guarded by this idea of, well, dreams never come true and there's all this

00:09:46.829 --> 00:09:47.709

Kevin Lowe: hurt and disappointment.

00:09:48.149 --> 00:09:53.189

Kevin Lowe: No, forget about all of that stuff right now. I want you to think about what

00:09:53.189 --> 00:09:55.989

Kevin Lowe: you really and truly want, what you desire.

00:09:56.469 --> 00:09:59.789

Kevin Lowe: This is just between you and you.

00:10:00.976 --> 00:10:07.656

Kevin Lowe: Ask yourself, where am I hurting? How do I feel right now? Where is the pain?

00:10:08.036 --> 00:10:12.456

Kevin Lowe: Where am I carrying the burden? You can answer these questions however you like.

00:10:12.876 --> 00:10:17.136

Kevin Lowe: Maybe it's as simple as you getting out a journal and journaling each one of

00:10:17.136 --> 00:10:19.896

Kevin Lowe: these questions every day when you wake up.

00:10:20.216 --> 00:10:24.936

Kevin Lowe: Or maybe it's you just literally talking it out to yourself.

00:10:25.396 --> 00:10:28.956

Kevin Lowe: It's you lying in bed and thinking about these questions each morning.

00:10:28.956 --> 00:10:34.336

Kevin Lowe: It's you just literally giving yourself time to be with you,

00:10:34.596 --> 00:10:37.276

Kevin Lowe: the person who needs the attention right now.

00:10:37.456 --> 00:10:43.636

Kevin Lowe: The biggest thing here is I want you to understand that you matter, that your life matters.

00:10:44.156 --> 00:10:51.496

Kevin Lowe: And just as maybe a little bonus item for how to approach this intentional pause

00:10:51.496 --> 00:10:57.896

Kevin Lowe: is seek out sources of inspiration, of motivation,

00:10:58.416 --> 00:11:02.696

Kevin Lowe: of things that might have you thinking about things in a way you hadn't thought of before.

00:11:03.156 --> 00:11:06.296

Kevin Lowe: For myself, that comes mostly by way of a book.

00:11:06.716 --> 00:11:13.416

Kevin Lowe: I love me a good audio book. Thank goodness for Audible. They make life so easy.

00:11:13.956 --> 00:11:18.876

Kevin Lowe: Go download an audio book. I mean, yes, if you're into reading a regular book,

00:11:19.056 --> 00:11:24.276

Kevin Lowe: go for it, but maybe you're at a point in your life where you don't feel like

00:11:24.276 --> 00:11:25.976

Kevin Lowe: reading, your eyes are tired,

00:11:26.276 --> 00:11:29.416

Kevin Lowe: you want to just be able to lie in your bed and listen to something.

00:11:29.856 --> 00:11:34.236

Kevin Lowe: Well, go grab a book. Find a book about something that interests you.

00:11:34.496 --> 00:11:40.496

Kevin Lowe: A book about a real-life story of somebody overcoming something that maybe you've gone through.

00:11:41.056 --> 00:11:45.696

Kevin Lowe: Something that I guarantee you, by listening to their story,

00:11:45.916 --> 00:11:51.416

Kevin Lowe: you might find something that they say that is that little piece that you needed.

00:11:51.416 --> 00:11:54.596

Kevin Lowe: I know for myself, that was the case.

00:11:54.796 --> 00:11:59.756

Kevin Lowe: When I was in that period of my life, when I wasn't ready to move forward,

00:11:59.756 --> 00:12:03.296

Kevin Lowe: I was still holding on to the life that I had wanted.

00:12:03.816 --> 00:12:07.656

Kevin Lowe: And it was only because of a book that helped to set me free.

00:12:08.116 --> 00:12:13.976

Kevin Lowe: So don't underestimate the power of listening to a book during this period where

00:12:13.976 --> 00:12:17.496

Kevin Lowe: you're just taking a pause from life, from pushing forward.

00:12:17.496 --> 00:12:25.976

Kevin Lowe: Now, I understand that you may think, yeah, this is great, but he doesn't know

00:12:25.976 --> 00:12:28.636

Kevin Lowe: that I still have a life I have to live.

00:12:28.876 --> 00:12:32.436

Kevin Lowe: And yes, I get it. I understand that you may still have to go to work.

00:12:32.456 --> 00:12:35.296

Kevin Lowe: You may still have a family you have to take care of.

00:12:35.396 --> 00:12:41.636

Kevin Lowe: But what I'm talking about is you just pausing in the essence of you're not

00:12:41.636 --> 00:12:43.576

Kevin Lowe: constantly pushing forward.

00:12:43.576 --> 00:12:50.196

Kevin Lowe: Instead, you're just putting a pause on all those plans All those ideas Even

00:12:50.196 --> 00:12:55.276

Kevin Lowe: if it means you telling your family Your spouse, your loved ones Hey, listen.

00:12:56.070 --> 00:13:00.350

Kevin Lowe: I got to just take a break for a bit. I need to take a pause from all of this

00:13:00.350 --> 00:13:02.350

Kevin Lowe: stuff that we've been doing and pursuing.

00:13:02.810 --> 00:13:07.110

Kevin Lowe: And I just need to take a break for a little bit. And maybe that means over

00:13:07.110 --> 00:13:11.410

Kevin Lowe: the course of a week, over the course of a month, maybe it is just a few days.

00:13:12.410 --> 00:13:16.290

Kevin Lowe: Enough time and space for you to get clear on you.

00:13:16.850 --> 00:13:25.310

Kevin Lowe: I want to leave you with one last image in your mind to help you illustrate the power of the pause.

00:13:26.070 --> 00:13:29.270

Kevin Lowe: I would love for you to think of your life like a bow and arrow.

00:13:29.710 --> 00:13:35.510

Kevin Lowe: If you've ever shot a bow and arrow before, you know that you have to pull the string back.

00:13:35.750 --> 00:13:40.130

Kevin Lowe: You have the arrow locked on and you have to pull the string and it's hard.

00:13:40.250 --> 00:13:42.490

Kevin Lowe: It's hard to pull that string all the way back.

00:13:42.630 --> 00:13:45.110

Kevin Lowe: But what you do, you pull it back.

00:13:45.610 --> 00:13:49.870

Kevin Lowe: Before you release it, what do you do? You pause.

00:13:50.650 --> 00:13:53.830

Kevin Lowe: You steady your arm. the tension is

00:13:53.830 --> 00:13:56.750

Kevin Lowe: eased off and you're holding the string

00:13:56.750 --> 00:13:59.530

Kevin Lowe: the arrow is in place it's ready to soar

00:13:59.530 --> 00:14:02.650

Kevin Lowe: forward give yourself time to pause

00:14:02.650 --> 00:14:05.370

Kevin Lowe: to aim to see exactly where you

00:14:05.370 --> 00:14:11.330

Kevin Lowe: want that arrow to go and when that arrow is held in the pause it's not failing

00:14:11.330 --> 00:14:17.850

Kevin Lowe: it's not giving up on life it's literally preparing to soar forward it is gaining

00:14:17.850 --> 00:14:23.050

Kevin Lowe: its potential for greatness you my friend or that arrow.

00:14:23.610 --> 00:14:27.710

Kevin Lowe: And the pause is literally you just taking an opportunity to take a break,

00:14:27.710 --> 00:14:32.390

Kevin Lowe: to take a pause so that you can soar forward with direction,

00:14:32.730 --> 00:14:35.590

Kevin Lowe: with intention into the life that you want.

00:14:35.870 --> 00:14:37.870

Kevin Lowe: My friend, I get it. Life isn't easy.

00:14:38.170 --> 00:14:42.690

Kevin Lowe: I'm not here to pretend that it is. And that is why I just want to encourage

00:14:42.690 --> 00:14:44.930

Kevin Lowe: you with today's episode that it's

00:14:44.930 --> 00:14:48.410

Kevin Lowe: okay that I understand that you've been through a lot of stuff in life.

00:14:48.650 --> 00:14:52.990

Kevin Lowe: And I get that you might be struggling. And that is why I want to give you the

00:14:52.990 --> 00:14:56.850

Kevin Lowe: encouragement, the permission to just take a pause.

00:14:57.150 --> 00:15:03.050

Kevin Lowe: My name, of course, is Kevin Lowe, your host, as well as an inspirational public speaker.

00:15:03.430 --> 00:15:08.190

Kevin Lowe: Matter of fact, if you belong to an organization, a company,

00:15:08.490 --> 00:15:12.050

Kevin Lowe: anyone looking for a speaker for your next event,

00:15:12.370 --> 00:15:18.670

Kevin Lowe: please be sure to go check out my website, which is kevinspeaks.org.

00:15:18.670 --> 00:15:21.170

Kevin Lowe: I have that inside of today's show notes.

00:15:21.370 --> 00:15:27.410

Kevin Lowe: I am more than happy to get to speak with you or anybody at your company or

00:15:27.410 --> 00:15:30.890

Kevin Lowe: organization about coming on as an inspirational speaker.

00:15:31.070 --> 00:15:36.630

Kevin Lowe: That link is in the show notes. Again, kevinspeaks.org is the website.

00:15:36.630 --> 00:15:41.150

Kevin Lowe: Listen, I hope that today's episode, more than anything else.

00:15:41.690 --> 00:15:46.710

Kevin Lowe: Just gave you permission to take a break and to realize that what you've been

00:15:46.710 --> 00:15:49.490

Kevin Lowe: through is meaningful. It's a lot.

00:15:49.750 --> 00:15:53.690

Kevin Lowe: That it's okay for you to just take a break from a life.

00:15:54.800 --> 00:16:26.928