On this episode today, we're going to talk about how to overcome adversity and face resiliency head on.

I'm going to tell you a little story about what happened.

I thought it was on top of the mountain.

That did not happen.

So it's 2007, 2008.

I was a grad assistant at the University of Kentucky for baseball.

I thought I always wanted to go into collegiate baseball coaching and what my heart was set on.

So I was thinking, worked around the clock.

I was making peanuts, doing hitting lessons on the side, right?

30, 40 bucks an hour, working till, you know, 10 o'clock at night.

The spring of 2008 came along.

We were in a financial crisis as a, as a country.

And I tried to get a couple jobs, right?

So a few universities were around.

They were offering, you know, volunteer assistant coaches.

They were offering salaries for, you know, nine grand a year, 12 grand a year.

There was a junior college in Texas that offered me a job.

I think it was like six grand a year.

I got to be a luxurious resident adv advisor in their dorms.

So, you know, free, free room and board, right?

Which I didn't take any of those.

I had to.

You know, I came to a crossroads in my life and it was, it was very, very hard.

You know, I spent two and a half, three years devoting my time, energy, you know, to a sport that I loved.

And I wanted to be a baseball coach, but I just could not make it happen, especially from a, from a financial side.

So I moved home to Missouri.

I lived with my mom.

I was 24 years old.

I had a master's degree from the, from the University of Kentucky.

You know, it was a dark time, right?

And here we are, you know, that the financial crisis, everything's in ruin.

I put in applications.

I started working at gnc, the supplement store, slanging, you know, what a meathead, slinging whey protein, right?

Served a bonefish grill, you know, serve some bang bang shrimp there.

And the last part, that was, you know, the really.

Yeah.

To me, the real kick in the nuts was I interviewed for a job at Macy's for seasonal help, right?

I was trying to, you know, pick up some hours, pick up some shifts.

I was in a room at a roundtable with 12 other individuals, right?

And the age gap there was probably anywhere from 18 to 75.

And I was a 24 year old with a master's degree, played four years of college baseball.

I got turned down.

I got rejected from Macy's for seasonal help.

And I'll never forget It.

It was something that, you know, for me, I felt like.

I feel like I always keep an upbeat attitude.

So I didn't really think a lot of it at the time, but, man, that was such a kick in the nuts.

So the bright spot in my life, I interviewed with a logistics company in Cincinnati.

I had no idea what it was about.

I was living in Missouri at the time.

My mom had a 2002 Lincoln Town Car.

This thing was a boat.

Wood panels.

It had some wood panels, dude.

I drove this 2002 Lincoln Town Car over to Cincinnati to take the interview.

I swear to God, man, I'll never forget it.

I interviewed for the job with a guy named Chris Wagner.

What I came to find out later was I felt like the interview went really well and I didn't hear back, Right.

I waited a couple days, didn't hear back, Waited a couple more days, didn't hear back.

Then I kept following up with the recruiter, Brittany, over and over and over again.

And finally on the third time, she said, you know what?

You got a job coming in in June.

And come to find out later on down the road, I asked Chris, I said, hey, what took so long?

He's like, well, I didn't really feel like you were cut out for it, right?

So what he did is he called.

There was a thing called slow play.

So what he would do is he would slow play the applicant.

And so that's what happened to me was he kind of, you know, gave the recruiter kind of like the 50, 50.

But I was so persistent on the back end that he ended up giving me the job and, you know, essentially changed my life.

Thank you to Chris Wagner, if you're listening today, man, giving me the opportunity of a lifetime with that.

So much adversity.

And how do you overcome that?

And how do you try to see the light at the end of the tunnel when it's so much doom and gloom?

So what you're telling me is if Macy hired you, we would not be sitting here today?

Maybe not.

We would have retired from Macy.

I feel like I just want to be that.

Yeah, whatever works seasonal to full time.

That's right.

Get that promotion, man.

That's a great story, and I think it says a lot, because when people face adversity, it either builds you up, makes you better, or it absolutely ruins you, crumbles.

You.

You start believing that you're not worth anything.

You know, you're bottom of the barrel.

That lines up with everything else in your life, because that's your belief system.

I Was always very confident.

But I had a lot of adversity throughout my life, you know, early on, you know, personally.

Then when I got into my career, I was bartending.

I worked my way up.

I was busing tables, I was washing dishes, I was serving, then I was bartending.

And I was making pretty good money as a high end steakhouse in Lexington, Kentucky.

And I wanted more, you know, I wasn't in full control of how much I could make.

I could work as much as I want.

I still was not going to max it out.

I feel like you get pretty good tips as a bartender though, right?

Yeah.

It wasn't enough though.

Okay.

It just wasn't what I wanted.

It wasn't the lifestyle I wanted, the hours.

I wanted something more where I could control, you know, my own success.

Yeah.

So I wanted more.

I started interviewing and I got this opportunity to interview up in Cincinnati.

It was for a company called.

Well, I won't say the name, but it was an insurance company.

Corporate or corporate in insurance or something like that?

Yeah.

And you were in Lexington at the time, right?

Lexington up.

I didn't have a wood panel.

You did the town car, man.

Dude, that thing was a boat.

I swear, you could like turn the steering wheel with like one pinky.

I had a 2000.

2002 Ford Escort.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It was made of plastic.

Yeah.

But I was buttoned up.

I thought I looked sharp.

Get my notepad, go up to Cincinnati.

The interview lasted five minutes.

And I thought it was a relatively good interview at the start, but he just hands me his car.

He says, you're not cut out for this.

Call me when you're the number one sales rep at your next company.

Yeah.

And so I kept his car.

It burned.

I drove back to Lexington.

I'm like, okay, this guy doesn't want me.

How am I gonna get sales experience?

What am I gonna do?

Selling gutters, which I did in college.

But I found this opportunity, tql.

They hired me.

I was jacked.

You know, it was going to give me an opportunity to control my own success.

Yeah.

The work I put in, I got paid for.

So I kept the business card.

I put it right on my keyboard.

I looked at it every single day.

Love it, man.

Use that as motivation.

Absolutely.

You know, had an unbelievable time, unbelievable career at tql.

I loved it.

I wouldn't change it for the world.

I had a chip on my shoulder entering tql.

Sure.

I carried that chip for the longest time.

I didn't move up to mid level management.

It came to a point where I wasn't challenged anymore.

I wanted that next chapter.

I wanted something more.

And I started interviewing.

Sure.

Guy.

I previously did when I was bartending.

I was transparent about the process.

Yeah.

I took some pto.

I never really took pto.

I took pto.

I wasn't happy with the roles I was getting offered.

I was down in Austin, Texas.

I've told this story before, but my supervisor at the time had called me and said, where were you last week?

And I told him I was on an interview to move back to Cincinnati.

We were expecting our second child.

He said, you know, never forget it.

You know, you know what we have to do.

I said, you guys do what you do, no questions asked.

I was fired.

And I'd been there for eight, eight, nine years or so.

Sure.

That burned, you know, our.

I was already on my way out.

I had plans that didn't have anything to do with, you know, my current role.

So I was out.

What else did he say to you?

I'll never forget it because it was.

I still had this chip on my shoulder, but it was, why would you ever leave?

You're never going to have a better job than this.

And I remember exactly where I was in the car.

Yeah.

On the streets.

Funny how.

It's funny how our brain works like that, doesn't it?

Yeah.

And I could have.

I could have taken that and just, you know, curl up in a ball and ice cream.

But I love the fact that he said that to me.

Sure.

Because I knew what we were going to do.

Yeah.

You know, as partners.

Sure.

So we set our two year.

Not compete.

I still think about that all the time.

Yeah.

Because who is anyone to tell someone else what they're capable of?

Yeah.

And I loved it.

Give me more.

Give me more fuel.

Tell me that I'm not going to accomplish anything because that, you know, you're in that role for a reason and that's where you're going to stay.

Yeah.

And I think that, like, you know, you, you mentioned, like, even from using that or using those little tidbits, or maybe it's an uncle or an aunt that said you would never amount to anything.

Or maybe an old coach.

Right.

And using that motivation to fight through that adversity.

How do we fight through some challenging times?

We've.

I mean, you and I have been through a lot.

Right.

And I think you can take one or two ways.

Right.

You can take the victim mentality, like, poor me, woe is me, nothing's going to get better.

Sit on the couch and eat a pint of ice cream.

You can take that approach.

But the better approach that I think that we feel like is more advantageous is trying to figure out a way to.

Or whether that's like one nugget of information or somebody that believed in you at some point and using that as motivation to get out of it, or seeing that light at the end of the tunnel.

We're huge advocates of the growth mindset and figuring out how to position ourselves.

Or even when somebody says that, you know, kind of like your previous manager, what do you do in that moment?

Right.

How do you shift that or how do you frame it in your mind to say, you know what?

I'm going to prove you wrong.

My wife's phenomenal at this.

She reframes everything because I do have a negative side.

I'm high strung ocd.

I'm go, go, go.

Doesn't help with the kids, but she is.

Carly is constantly reframing situations for me.

And, you know, you mentioned her when we started this conversation about being rock bottom being your darkest place.

Yeah, I was in my dark, like the honeymoon phase of leaving my previous role.

Yeah, that wore off.

There was one point, and hopefully they can edit tears.

I'm not going to cry, but my wife's probably gonna be surprised if I don't cry and make it through this.

But I had told her to leave me when we were in Austin.

She said, we are right where we're supposed to be and you want to talk about reframe a situation that I'll never forget it.

It was so strong and gave me that positivity.

I needed to be like, you're goddamn right we are.

I think.

I mean, you're absolutely right.

And I love that Carly said that, man.

Yeah.

Thanks for being vulnerable.

I think that's.

That's huge.

You're absolutely right.

Especially, you know, facing fear, facing adversity.

What is your attitude?

Right to me, that's.

That's huge.

Right to me.

Attitude is everything and how you shape it or frame it is huge in all aspects of life.

You know, I just got a flat tire.

What are your thoughts?

The person at Chipotle gave me the wrong order.

What do I do next?

How do we change our thoughts to frame it differently and create that.

Not Pollyanna positive, but that positive mindset to help ourselves out?

I guarantee people that are the most successful people in the world, or if you're striving to be somebody successful, those are the people that have those types of attitudes.

So if you're listening today and you feel like you're down and out, or you always go into that victim mindset, try to change it up.

Try to really catch yourself the next time something bad happens and shift your mindset or take that moment and really think about it a different way.

Love what you're saying here.

And you talk about this a lot.

Law of Attraction.

Can you tell us a little bit more about Law of Attraction?

I don't think we have enough time for this today.

We would have to.

A separate episode, man.

Law of Attraction.

Brian's a huge advocate to this.

I love it as well.

And it goes everything against the victim mentality.

Victim mentality is hand in hand with Law of Attraction, but it's the fact that you attract that which you are.

So when you have that negative mentality, that negative energy, that negative wavelength, you're going to impact those around you with that negativity as well.

On the contrary.

Same works for the positive side.

When you have that positive energy and you have that positive outlook, it's no like it is science.

You start winning.

Yeah.

When you have that positive mindset, you know, even Carly, if I was getting off that negativity and I brought Carly down with me, when we're in Austin, sure.

Who knows where we could be?

Who knows?

We may be homeless.

I don't know.

Because that law, you know, that law of attraction, that positivity, is what helped me get out of that hole and get us to a different situation.

So you love to cook, man.

I'd imagine you, like, whip up like a taco truck or something like that.

That's what I would.

If that was down in Austin.

It's crossed my mind.

It's still one of my goals.

Yeah, yeah, I gotcha.

No, I agree with you, man.

Like talking about the law of attraction and manifestation, it's.

You're absolutely right.

You're sending out a certain frequency into the atmosphere.

And I think that some people might not believe in that.

Me, I definitely do.

And I know that I've seen my life change for the better since I, you know, started reading it and rereading it.

It's the one book that is on my nightstand 100% of the time.

So.

The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, for anybody that's listening or watching our show today.

So the next time that something negative happens or, you know, maybe a friend didn't call you back, or maybe, you know, something a lot, a lot worse than that happens in your life, or maybe you experience the loss of a loved one, try to reframe that.

Try to catch that thought in its moment and do everything you can to shape it in a way that's positive for you and positive for your future.