I am talking about having the mindset of a person who understands that as long as you are living and breathing, there's more for you to learn. when we focus on, um, problems, that's why they seem to get bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. And when we focus on opportunities and possibilities. They actually become endless, right? If you want to move and transition in your career, you gotta own that. You gotta own that space,

Hello listeners, and welcome back to The Science of Self, where you improve your life from the inside Out. I'm excited to introduce to you today another guest, Dr. Carmen Bell. Ross, or conversationally, Dr. Carmen, who's gonna take a minute, introduce herself, and then we'll get into the conversation. Dr.

Hi. Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here and talk to you today, Russell. My, um, yes, I am Dr. Carmen. That's what most people call me and my company is SP Grace. And what we really do is leadership, career and professional development solutions and government, business and industry. What we're really excited about is the work that we're doing with individuals. Um, on a more personal level, we're working with middle school, high school students, but also, I mean, this is the stuff we do with people throughout their entire careers, uh, to help them to navigate to the next level. So, I'm really excited about being here. My background is in educational psychology largely, um, also business management, but I integrate all of that and that that all is the lens through which I see the world. So I'm really excited to talk to you all today.

I know from the education side you might prepare a lesson differently, but from the personal side, how do you value, or how do you change your approach between dealing with one versus the other? Is that a

Well, you know, I'm gonna say this. So there are official definitions for continuing professional education, and then there's my definition. Okay? So we're gonna go with my definition, which is having the.

us the, give us the professional, give us the, the actual one first, and then go with yours and run with it for

When people talk about continuing professional education, they are talking about formal, structured, um, educational opportunities that, for example, if you are a licensed practitioner of something, you may have to have continuing professional education hours. So if you're a nurse, you have to go back and take additional classes so many hours a year. Or if you are, um, even a plumber, you have to, you know, you have to get licensing and you have to continue to get, um, basically they wanna know that you've. Stayed on top of your craft and your field because they evolve. Um, and so that's more in the formal space. When I say it, I am talking about having the mindset of a person who understands that as long as you are living and breathing, there's more for you to learn. As long as you are here, there are new people born into this world. Every single day, which means that there's something new, there's somebody new, um, there's a new way of moving, operating and existing in the world. And there's an opportunity for you to learn more even in areas where you are an expert. Um, and so sometimes when people kind of get to a place where they think they have expertise in something or they have expertise in something, it's easy to kind of rest on that and say, I already know 'cause I've got a lot of experience and I have a lot of formal knowledge, or whatever the case may be. But the reality of it is that. Everything changes all the time. So when I talk about continuing education, I'm talking about having the mindset of a lifelong learner, having the mindset that there's always more to know about the world, the world around you, people around you, but also about yourself because you're changing in ways that you may not even realize every day.

From your viewpoint, can you just give us the concept of the growth mindset and, uh, you know, the, what is the opposite?

That's an interesting question actually, I think because I've never had anyone ask me what's the opposite of that. And so what I will tell you is when I talk to people, I encourage them to have the mindset, um, that you're always growing and developing and changing, and there are opportunities for you to continue to increase your knowledge and increase your, your, um, understanding of our very complex world, right? You know, I love to tell people what we focus on expands. And so when we focus on, um, problems, that's why they seem to get bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. And when we focus on opportunities and possibilities. They actually become endless, right? And so I prefer that, that view of the world. I prefer the view of the world that says the opportunities, the possibilities for my life and for who I am and for my next step and my next phase are actually endless. And I think that's when you are in a space where you're open to real growth. And so, um, being a person who's not able to see through that lens, I think that can be very limiting. Yeah, so here's the thing. We all have blind spots. You know why? Because we only see the world through the lens that we can see the world through, right? We only see ourselves, uh, through the lenses that we can see ourselves through. And so just being able to acknowledge, yes. I am human, and so therefore, by default I've got some blind spots somewhere. I encourage you to ask questions of people who you admire. You know, somebody who is in your space, who knows you well, who you admire, ask them. Like, Hey, do you think that I'm open-minded? Or, how open do you think I am to, um, seeing, seeing things differently or, you know, ask them some open-ended questions about you and how you engage. open-ended questions tend to be good again with the people that you ask. But you need to ask people you trust too, right? People who you know have your good, your best interest at heart, and so you're not looking for someone who wants to just tell you about yourself, right? So you want someone who respects the question and who cares about you. And who cares about your wellbeing and your self-improvement, and who is gonna give you feedback that is constructive and not just gonna tear you down? So when you talk about blind spots, someone else pointed that out to me and it was somebody I cared about and I was actually kind of ticked off at first. I was ticked off and offended. Um, but, but I did consider it and I realized, you know what? I need to at least be aware, like pay attention to when I might be doing that. Yeah.

that can be difficult with someone where you value the relationship.

Absolutely. And I think when you're talking to people who you trust and who you want to help you, if you tell them, listen, I am working on myself in this area. I wanna grow in this area. I wanna move up in my career. I want to, um, you know, I want to do things differently. Perhaps I'm not in a job that I love. Perhaps I'm not in the career that excites me when I wake up. And so I'm trying to move. Closer to that, and I'm looking to get insight on some of my blind spots. I'm looking to get insight on some areas that maybe I could work on. You know, lemme tell you something. Having worked in leadership for so long, I often see that people get promoted to leadership because they're good at their job. Leadership is not the same as whatever skill you may have that makes you good at your job. If you're good at building seats and you are the best person in the world at building seats. And then, um, I work in the auto industry a lot, so that's what my brain went to, but.

Okay.

Um, and then you, you get promoted 'cause you're the best person at building seats. And they say, now you're over 60 seat builders. Right? That's a different skillset. Leadership is not the same. It is not the same. And so people get frustrated sometimes when they get promoted to one level of leadership and then they get stuck. Because they wanna go further and they can't understand why other people are given opportunities over them. Um, but that's a blind spot, right? Because you haven't necessarily. Ask the right kinds of questions, like, how good are you at engaging with people? How good are you at listening? How good are you at, um, being empathetic? How good are you at, um, showing people that you are authentic in your communications? And how good are you at, uh, mediating conflict and all these other things that come along with being a people leader. Um, and believe it or not, people who don't work with you can give you insight on that. You know, they don't, it doesn't have to be somebody who works with you or works for you, or who is your boss. This could be a friend who tells you something about kind of how you integrate, engage interpersonally with other people that can give you insight that's helpful on your own leadership development journey. Nobody else is responsible for your journey. I don't care what perks and benefits your job offers or. You know what kind of training they might say they can give you. If you want to move and transition in your career, you gotta own that. You gotta own that space, and you have to own that process because it is unique to you. And yes, of course, if somebody is giving you a bunch of money. To be able to do that, you know, to go to conferences and all that, that's great, but it doesn't require that, like we have resources that can help us. People who are logging into your podcast, people who are, you know, able to look online, listen chat, GPT might even give you some great insights. Like, you know, um, you gotta own that journey. And you'd be amazed at, again, when you focus on that, if that's what you wanna do, the opportunities start to open up. You start to see them differently. They get bigger.

open-ended questions will stay kind of in this topic for a minute because they're very important. when someone comes to you, uh, uh, with a difficult, with a question like that, what are some things that we should keep in mind as we deal with others in that relationship? Trying to be helpful. Trying to be honest, but trying not to be hurtful.

Sure. So one, there's nothing wrong with you telling somebody, you know what? I would really, uh, I, I wanna, I want to answer that. Let me think about that a little bit and then, and then get back to you because the urge, you know, to just respond right away is not gonna always give us the best insight. And we kind of ramble and we kind of are searching for our thoughts and then later on we might think of things. So there's nothing wrong with, with saying, give me a pause on that because I think that's a great question and I wanna be able to give you some helpful insight.

That's

then that gives you time to think about what you would like to share with the person, and then ask yourself some of the feedback that you want to offer. Is this something that can be changed? Right? Or is it something that can be changed in a reasonable time period? So, you know, it's the kind of thing. If you think of it kind of in really simple terms, if you're out with a friend and the friend has, um, let's say something in their nose, you know it, tell 'em like there's something in your nose. You know why they can fix that and they can fix it right now. So go ahead and they go to the restroom. That's a quick, quick fix. Right? But if you are out with a friend and you notice that, let's say, um, the back of their pants are see through or that, you know what I mean? Like think about is this something that can be fixed right now? Yeah. And, and you know what I do? It's funny when you said like there's a point at which people can't, um, they kind of get stuck. And it's interesting because I think at this stage in my own career, I think about all this striving that we do. I wanna go higher, I wanna go higher, I wanna go higher. And we don't necessarily always stop to ask ourselves the why, right? Why do we wanna go higher? Well, I wanna go hire because I wanna be a director. Okay. Why do you wanna be a director? Well, I wanna be a director 'cause I wanna be in charge of people. Why do you wanna be in charge of people? Like sometimes once you ask yourself, you know how to talk about the five why's, like once you dig deep enough, sometimes you might realize like maybe that's not exactly what I really, really want.

Due to difficulties, the remainder of the program is incomplete. We present the video and audio as possible, and apologize for the disruption.

Uh, tell us about your daughter.

So, um, my daughter is a junior at Harvard. She is majoring in neuroscience and she is the captain of their competitive dance team. And she is an overall happy person. She has lots of great friends and she does lots of exciting things. She volunteers at, um, at a place where they teach children with Down syndrome. Um, she teaches them

Wow.

Language. To help them communicate if they're nonverbal. So she's teaching the, the kids and the

Wow.

Uh, sign language. And she is currently decided that she wants to try out emergency medicine. So this summer she's getting her EMT license to work on the, uh. Oh, on the ambulance. I said, why would you do that? that just sounds really dangerous. I'm like, you can get into med school without doing this, you know? And she goes, no, mom, but every day is a great day to save lives and I just wanna do it. So she's just a great person. I'm, I love the person that I raise, not because she's. Accomplished, and she's on this great path. She's doing research, she's like doing research on mouse brains and she's gonna be published in some academic journals and stuff like that. But love that she's a good person who I actually really like as a human. you know, you can't ask people about their kids. We just go on and on and on and on. Russell, we get excited.

Absolutely congratulations to her and to you. Uh, that's a lot, that's a lot of work to parent, uh, anybody. And when someone is, uh, that well adjusted and that successful, there's a lot of things that, that have to come back, uh, to their, uh, childhood and how they were raised, that the way they were taught to make decisions. So many things involved there. So that's great to hear Now. She's in, uh, enrolled in Harvard. So obviously you are very familiar with the process and that's part of your, your business approach. Did you do this before wa, was your business involved in this before you went through it? Uh, I'm assuming you were very involved with her admissions to Harvard, or was it something that developed Uh, after seeing the process?

So actually about 15 years ago I was working for a company that does, um, they do like staff and, and it's a global brand that you, that people know, right. And I was in their speakers bureau, so I would travel to high schools and colleges. Talking to students about what to do for their next step in, you know, in high school or college and career, right? So the whole goal was to help them get off to a great strong start. And what I learned from that experience, particularly when it comes to the college admissions landscape and the things that I was talking to them about, that at, you know, at that time, which was based on the research that this company did, um, and the survey data they had from. Thousands and thousands and thousands of their employer partners. Um, they had a great program and what I realized then was you have to have a strategy for this thing. You know, this is not the same admissions process that I went through 30 years ago, right? This is very, very different. And, um, and so I started to see that, and at that time I decided I need a strategy for my kid. So that we can shape her path all the way to college. And it wasn't about Harvard for me. Um, it was about, I want her to have all the choices that make sense for who she is. I want her to be happy and whole and into a career that gives her joy. And I want her to be able to call the shots and her to be empowered to decide what's next. I didn't want her to feel limited by the options she thought she had, and so. You know, from that point I started there and it was really strictly about me helping her. To navigate that space.