And here's the thing, if loneliness is the part

of you that is dating, if loneliness is the part of you

that's choosing a partner that's trying to find love, you are not

going to attract a healthy relationship. Why? Because

that's a saboteur setup for a saboteur relationship. Because

loneliness is simply a feeling that you feel because you're

believing a story, that the state that you're in and what

you're experiencing right now is not right, that it's not

aligned, that it's not good enough, and that you like you

need someone else to make you feel better. That's a little

girl needs someone else to make you feel better. The only time

we feel lonely is when we are not connected to ourselves.

Hello, beautiful. Kate Harlow here tuning in from the other

side of my Kenyan coastal holiday. Last episode, if you

listen to it, I was going on a spontaneous trip that was booked

the night before and flying out to Diani Beach, a coastal town

in Kenya. And if you don't know, I mean, I didn't know a lot

about Kenya before living here, Kenya's coast is absolutely

beautiful. It's like white sand, turquoise water. The ocean is

the Indian Ocean. It is the warmest ocean in the world. It

typically can get really hot there, but actually it was quite

windy, so it didn't get too hot. It was like the perfect amount

of humidity. We had our glow on, and I had the most extraordinary

time with my dear friends, rose and Jonathan. And it was such a

beautiful trip. And I did a post about it yesterday. If you're

not on socials, I'll share the post. I did share some photos

from the trip so you can go check it out at the unscripted

woman on Instagram. But I was just reflecting at when I got

back, my heart was so full, and I was like, Oh my gosh, my

friend's boyfriend basically treated us both like we were his

queens, like he took us on surprise dates. We went for

sunrise swims. It was this beautiful experience. Never once

did I feel like a third wheel. Never once did I feel like the

odd one out, or like, oh my god, I shouldn't be here. They're on

a couple's trip, even though it was a working holiday that we

all planned very spontaneously. And I realize it's because it's

the same idea as how I've told you before that I don't identify

with being single, like I'm just me, whether I'm in relationship

or not. Same concept here. It's like, even when I'm in a

relationship, I'm not like, a couple. You know, back in the

day, used to be a couple and be like, we what are we doing? Who

are we hanging out with? What couples are we going to dinner

with? And I feel like that's so rampant still. It's like people

identify so strongly with their relationship status, and then we

go into the single woman who's like, Oh God, I'm the only

single woman at the party at the event. Like, I don't want to be

the only single person there. Why do we constantly separate

ourselves from each other with these relational labels? It

makes no sense, but it's part of the program, and we all just

kind of are programmed, and then we just live from the program,

without realizing we're in the program, until we wake up from

the program. So I'm here to wake you up from the program. You are

you? Are you? Whether you're in relationship or not, whether

you're married, divorced, widowed, it doesn't matter you

are you? And I'm pretty sure I said this last episode. I

vaguely recall saying this very recently, but I think it's such

an important point to drill home, because I don't experience

separating myself ever from anyone, never. I'm not like, oh,

I mean Kenya, and I'm not a Kenyan person, like, I'm never

separating myself from people. I'm connecting. I'm connecting

with everyone and starting with myself. And because of that, I

experienced experiences like this, where I can go have an

epic weekend with my friends that are a couple, and not feel

like a weirdo that's on a in a throuple. Not that there's

anything wrong with being in a throttle if you're into that,

but like, not feel like the third wheel, right? That's such

a saying. Well, I'm the third wheel. I don't want to be the

third wheel. Like we constantly separate ourselves with labels.

So that's what I'm going to share. First, secondly, I'm just

thinking about our minds and how much our minds try and take us

out of what's aligned for us. So my mind the night before was

like, No, this is irresponsible. You shouldn't make a decision so

last minute, and I'm so glad I did. We had the most amazing

time. I came back feeling so replenished and and rejuvenated.

And I still worked while I was there, but I can work from

anywhere because I set it up that way. And now I'm going back

to olapangi Farm. My mom and dad are coming to Kenya in a few

days. They're actually on a plane right now, flying to

London, and now I'm getting to go back to Ola pengi

replenished. So part of me was like, Oh, I don't want to leave

Nairobi. I'm only here for two weeks. But that was such a heart

Yes, in the moment that I followed that instead of all the

logical reasons why I should have stayed. So I had a similar

experience with this again. Today I had a Swahili lesson,

and I haven't had a lesson since, I think before Christmas,

maybe, or at least since December. And I get on with my

teacher, and I said to her, Listen, I'm so busy. My parents

are coming. Then I'm doing a workshop on Valentine's Day at

olupengi, and then I'm doing a retreat at olopengi. I just

can't do Swahili right now, like, I think I need to move our

lessons to march and get back into it then. And she's like, No

problem. Do you want to cancel today? And I said, No, let's do

today, and then we won't do anything till March. And I what

was actually coming up was fear. I was having struggles with my

Swahili, feeling like it was getting hard, and my saboteur

got so sneaky and tried to take me out, but instead today we did

the lesson, and I asked her to review stuff, and we and I was

like, conjugating verbs, and like doing all these putting

sentences together, and it was so much fun. It was the opposite

of what my mind said it was going to be and as soon as we

finished, I was like, You know what? Don't listen to me anymore

every time I try and talk myself out of it, talk me back into it,

or just let me go through my wave. And I ended up doing

booking a class for next week. Even though my parents are here,

I can still get on an hour long Swahili class on Zoom. So

anyways, just two examples of two things that my saboteur

tried to take me out of because she's sneaky, right? She like,

I've been on this path for 20 years, and I'm pretty good at

listening to my heart and my compass. But it doesn't mean

that the saboteur thoughts aren't still there. And it's

like, how do you listen to them? How do you negotiate with them.

How like do you let that part of you take you out? Because every

time you do something new, it's going to feel uncomfortable,

right? Swahili is new. So the part of me that got shamed and

shut down in school, that got that got told I was stupid, or

inferred I was stupid, or put into a stupid group, like you

know how they do at school. So they make some people, some kids

feel really smart, and some kids feel really stupid. I left the

school system feeling like an idiot, and so every time I feel

like I don't know something, my system gets a bit flooded, and

my saboteur wants to run for the hills. That's what just

happened. But when I leaned into the discomfort, instead of

letting the running for the hills happen, I ended up having

an amazing lesson and realized how smart I actually am. So

these protective mechanisms were just there because at the time,

we were treated poorly, we were controlled, we were treated

unfairly, and we were shamed, and that lives in the body

still. So yeah, get uncomfortable. Anyways, let's

get into the episode so how to navigate the ache for

partnership when you are single, and everything I said about

labels is so relevant to this episode. So first thing I want

to acknowledge is how real the ache is. I get it. My loves. I

get it. I know. And I know there are some of you who listen to

the new truth, who've been single forever, and maybe you're

like, Oh my God, is he ever coming? Will I ever have love?

Maybe I'll be alone forever. And I know how frustrating that can

be. In fact, I walked alongside one of my best friends was

single for like, 13 years, pretty much since we met, she

had a couple, like, really short, kind of toxic

relationships in our long friendship, but she was in deep

ache about being single, not not really about being single.

Actually, let me reframe that she really loved her life and

had had created so much for herself, but there was this,

like deep desire for partnership. Because I think on

a soul level, she knew that there was a big partnership

coming. And sure enough, I don't know, three years ago, she got

married in 2024

but three years ago, she met the greatest love of her life, I'll

say, because I don't think that there's necessarily just one,

but the greatest love that she's had thus far in this man. I have

no doubt that they'll keep growing and evolving together.

That's absolutely possible, but they are so aligned and so

matched in partnership. When I met him, I was like, Oh, there

you are. And I always knew that she would have it one day. And I

remember at the time whenever she would be suffering around

it, just saying, like, trust me, it's coming at the right time,

at the perfect time, and it can't come a moment sooner,

because she had to become the woman that she is now, and he

had to become the man he is now. And if we look at their life

trajectory, I mean so many things inside of them had to

change for them to even be a match if they had met five years

earlier. First of all, he was married with kids, so it

wouldn't have they wouldn't have met. And. And neither of them

were in a healthy, thriving, beautiful place to have an

aligned partnership with each other, so they probably wouldn't

even have liked each other. We actually joke about this a lot.

They're like I don't think I would have liked you if I met

you when you were like that, because they both were so deeply

on their path of evolution. So it's not to say when you're

growing that you can't attract love. You're going to attract it

when you're meant to attract it. You're going to attract it at

the perfect time on your timeline. And your timeline is

not the scripted timeline I'm talking about, like the soul

timeline that the universe has in store for you. And you're not

going to attract aligned love until a moment sooner. But if

you're in a hurry for love and you're aching for partnership

and you're trying to control love or trying to get it, you

certainly can attract saboteur love. You'll attract more

lessons and more hard, challenging relationships that

that allow you to reveal your patterns more and and you know

where you get to learn more about what's happening

underneath the surface, what part of you is leading. You can

have that for sure, but I didn't even plan to say this. It's

really like it's not up to us when we attract love. And you

know, looking at my besties journey, it actually was really

beautiful to witness. And she said, in retrospect, like, God,

I wish I could have enjoyed that time more. I wish, on some

level, I could have just known, you know, this year your love is

going to show up, because they have such a beautiful love, and

doesn't come without challenges, but they're just super aligned

partnership and but she's like, I wish I didn't waste all those

years on my own. I wish I lived them up and loved being with

myself knowing that I was also going to be with a partner one

day. So this story feels so important for you to hear and

really let it sink in, because the ache is real, the desire for

partnership is real, although part of that comes from our

programming, right? I think that there's part of it that's

biological, where we desire intimacy and closeness with

other people, and so much of the push and the rush and the

attachment and the trying to control the timing and or or

like pushing love away all together out of fear that you're

not lovable or not good enough underneath whatever your story

is, all of that to be said, there is a divine time for

everything, and it's actually not your job, nor is it in your

control, to figure out when love is coming. So I just want to

validate your ache and tell you I love you and I see you and I

feel you. And number one, most important thing is for you to

let yourself feel the ache in the moments it's there, but

relinquish the story about it, the story that even the story

like, if I could go back and help my bestie back in the day,

it's like, and she would agree with all of this, because She's

like, damn, I wish I enjoyed that time. Like, let go of the

story that you're even a single woman. You see how this label

keeps you feeling like you're in a temporary state. You're in a

holding pattern, waiting for the next relationship to come,

waiting for this temporary position to be over. And it

becomes this time of suffering for most women only because of

our conditioning, because the reality is, you can experience

so much love and intimacy in your life without a partner. You

can experience so much love and intimacy in your life without a

partner and not need a relationship. And when you are

experiencing so much love and intimacy in your life and not

needing a relationship, not from a place of being shut down, but

from a place of, like, you're so alive and satiated and turned on

and lit up the you don't need a partnership, that you're just

like, so happy within yourself. That's when you attract aligned

love. All of my clients do when they get to that place like,

Okay, I won't say all when the time is right, right, but I've

attracted I've worked with so many women over the years who

have been in that state of aching and, you know,

frustration and agony and judgment and shame about being

single, like they have some plague, like there's some

disease, it's something wrong with them. And when they meet

me. They're like, I just want to find him. And I'm like, my love.

If you are aching for something outside of yourself and you

haven't activated it inside of yourself, you are being misled,

because the ache never goes away, even when you get love,

then your mind will find something else to ache for. It's

going to ache for the for the move in, for the I Love You, for

the ring, for the house, for the kids, for the picket fence. It's

going to it's going to ache for all of those things and then,

and once you're done there, it's like, oh, I need a new job. Oh,

I need a new need to lose 10 pounds. It's not going to ever

stop knocking on. Door and aching for something, because

it's a fantasy. There is an absolute bullshit fantasy story

that once you have love, you won't feel lonely anymore. Once

you have love, you won't feel not good enough anymore. You

won't feel unworthy anymore or unlovable, all the all that

murky stuff, that little version of you underneath is feeling,

but the truth is, wherever you go, there you are. That is a

book. I don't know the author's name, but I'm sure I've said

that before. Wherever you go, there you are. You are bringing

all of that into your relationship. Your relationship

is not the answer. Partnership is not the answer. So how to

navigate the ache is first, to let yourself be with the

feelings when they arise, without feeding the story. Now

we've talked about this a million times, but to learn to

actually just feel the ache, feel it. Put on some music, do

some interpretive dance. Pretend you're a, oh, that's when, when

they used to do the, what was that dance reality TV show? So

You Think You Can Dance. Whenever they did contemporary

dances, and they were it was like, really emotional, like a

breakup dance, and they'd be like, Oh, I just love those

where they be playing out the emotion through movement. Go do

some to contemporary dance class. I actually forgot about

contemporary till this moment. Go take some contemporary dance

classes and learn how to how to express your emotion through

movement. Do some online. Go to one. Go to some in person. Like,

how powerful would that be to be able to actually just act out

your feelings through movement? Right? That's a great

opportunity. Or sing like I talked about singing Celine Dion

all by myself. Or sing lonely, I am so lonely. Remember that

song, I think all by myself is more powerful because it's so

intense. But there's so many alone songs that you could sing,

I'm a creep. No, I'm a creep that's not alone. I don't know.

There's lots of alone songs so you find them, but it's like,

ham it up. Sing it at the top of your lungs. Let yourself cry

your eyes out. Write about it. Move your body, move the energy,

welcome the feeling, welcome the ache, but don't feed the story.

Okay? And let go of the labels. You got to let go of the label.

Like, let's abolish this label of single altogether. Next time

someone says, How are you still single, or are you single, say,

No, I'm just me, or I'm I'm Kate, are you single? No, I'm

Kate. Like, find little

ways to or if someone says, How are you still single? Ask, how

are they they still married? I did a I did an Instagram that my

first reel, and I haven't done many since, but one of the only

reels I ever did little skits was me playing two different

women. And one said, How are you still single? You're such a

catch. And then the other version of me said, How are you

still married? Because, like, that's a real question, you

know, I guarantee. I mean, there's been countless studies

done about single women being the happiest, single women over

40 being the happiest people on Earth, and men that are married

are the happiest on earth because they don't have to worry

about anything. So there's studies that show that single

women are happier, and yet all married women want single women

to be married or to be in relationship like again, feeding

that story that it's the plague. If you're single and you got to

get rid of it, you got to get rid of this state. So let go of

the label altogether. Because even the label of being a

couple, you're you, you're not even your name, you're you,

you're a soul, you're infinite, and we, we just limit ourselves

so much with all of this bullshit, all of the

programming, all of the codependent love, the the

majority of the love, the relationships, I won't even call

it love, the relationships that exist on planet Earth are

codependent, like most relationships, are codependent,

but something else is available to you when you stop looking to

someone else to be your source, when you stop externally

sourcing your love, your turn on, your joy, your your beauty,

right? If we're always looking to the external world to tell us

if we're enough. That's coming from your wound now you're in a

wound mate relationship, right? The only way you're going to

attract healthy, thriving, Soul level love is when you're

embodying it. So actually, I'll make the first plug right now

for my workshop coming up. I have a new workshop that I just

created for Valentine's Day. It will be on February 8, so it'll

be the weekend before Valentine's Day, to set you up

for success for the week. But it's called embodied love, and I

love that title so much. And I'm going to guide you where we'll

be live on Zoom. It's only $22 it can be. About two and a half

hours on a Sunday morning, and I would love to meet you. Loved

for you to join me and the group of amazing women, even if you're

in a relationship and you're just longing for more love,

aching for more meaningful love and connection, this is the

place to be, but I'm going to guide you through practices and

through a process to help you become embodied in love, because

it's not outside of you. And I know that, like the whole

premise of the new truth is this, and yet we have to hear

this message 10 million times, because guess what? The message

that love is going to one day rescue you or save you or it's

going to come sweep you off your feet. That messaging is

everywhere. It's everywhere. It's in the water you drink.

It's in the air you breathe. Every time you turn on Netflix,

every time you turn on turn on the TV, every time you watch a

movie, every time you listen to the radio, it is everywhere.

Everyone is feeding the fantasy story about love and that it it

somehow gives us something and saves us and rescues us.

Instagram, social media, like, God, all the Instagrams are

people like, look at our relationship, and then inside

the relationship, they're not having sex, they're not having

meaningful conversations. They're not talking about what's

really going on. They're having affairs like whatever. Like so

many relationships are so dysfunctional because

everybody's just trying to keep up the facade that they have the

fantasy love and the fantasy life, but it's not real. Why?

Because it's not out there. And this doesn't mean that you're

not going to attract when your time is right, when it's the

perfect time in your time lifetime line you're not going

to know until you experience it. You are going to have the most

amazing love, but the but the most important thing is you

won't be able to receive it if you don't deepen the love within

yourself before it comes. And also, if you're in a

relationship, of course, you can do it then too. But it's like

when the idea is when love comes, then I will feel a

certain way. No, it's the other way around, feel a certain way.

Create a life that feels a certain way. Activate these

parts of yourself that you long for to be met in another person,

and you will then become a magnet to that caliber of

person. It's called being met in relationship, right? We think we

need like this kind of man and that kind of man and this kind

of man, what you are, woman, whatever you're into, that what

we actually need in relationship is the person who's an energetic

match to who we are, and you can't know from your mind what

that even is, and the person who's going to expand you beyond

anything you've experienced before. Expanded love means love

that grows you, love that expands possibility, that

challenges what you thought you wanted and needed. Like expanded

love is not going to look how you thought it was going to

look, but it's going to feel 10 million times better. But you

got to start with expanding within. So the last point is

become the become the love. Become the one, because you are

the one, and stop looking for him out there. Stop aching for

something out there that's a fantasy. If you're laying in bed

every night like, oh, I don't want to be single anymore.

You're going to a wedding, and you're like, Oh my God, when

it's going to be my turn? If you're in that fantasy story,

and you just keep pumping it up and giving it more material and

more material, you're feeding yourself a lie. Because my love

and I'm going to tell you this over and over and over and over

again, and you're you're going to get it and forget and get it

and forget, so don't worry about it, but

you will not find it out there. You will think you did right?

Your saboteur be like, Oh my God, we've arrived. Here he is,

and you'll have an amazing month until he doesn't text you, or

until something goes wrong, or still some behavior changes. And

then little girl gets activated, and she's like, wait, the ops

gone. Is he coming back? And you're you'll be hooked and

hooked and hooked. And in that roller coaster dynamic,

avoidant, anxious little girl, teenage boy, like, ooh, it's

that is, like, so exhausting. And you are a queen, and I see

so much more for you. So you can keep doing that if you want. You

can keep thinking it's out there. You can keep feeding that

story that you have to have a partner. Where is he? You can

keep feeding Carrie Bradshaw. There you go. That was her

story, right? We all watched that growing up, and it

programmed the neuro pathways in our brain to think that that's

normal and that Mr. Big, who is actually a narcissist, is

somewhere out there going to rescue us from our lives and

give us that romantic can't live without each other, love that

we've all been longing for. Ah, it's not real. But guess what?

The real thing is like, way juicier than that is way better

than that. I. Promise you. And the reality is, you do. You feel

it all the time, not just when you're with your partner or when

you're on a date. You get to feel it all the time when you

become it. So you have to become essentially the partner that

you're longing for and aching for, and become that to

yourself. So here's some practices. What do you want

someone to do for you in a loving connection, if you were

in a new partnership and it was so juicy and so meaningful and

so loving and so supportive and exactly the type of love you

desire, what would be happening inside of it? Would you be going

on date nights? Would you be going on trips? Would you be

would he be writing you love letters? I say He fill in the

blank? Would he be surprising you with gifts? What I mean?

These are all the love languages. But what would you

want to be romanced by this human now? Turn it inward, all

of those things that you desire. Do it to yourself, put on music

every day, every time you come home, serenade yourself with the

most romantic music, like candles. Do some dancing, make

yourself the most beautiful dinner, and imagine you're

making it with with someone else. Write yourself love

letters like give yourself that love. Become the partner that

you long for. And then, when little you arises and you're

deeply emotional, become the divine mama that she needs,

right? Be all of these things to yourself, there is no greater

power you can access than becoming her, becoming the one.

And then, oh my gosh, everything is so much brighter and more

beautiful. You're, you know, there it will open up so many

more possibilities for love, and you will become so much more

attractive to high quality partners, because you're

sovereign, because you take responsibility not just for your

pain, but also for your pleasure, right? If a man shows

up and he doesn't have to make you happy, he's going to be a

lot happier, and it's going to be a lot more easeful and easy

to have a deeply inspiring, beautiful, meaningful

relationship with you, right? He's going to be a lot more open

to intimacy when you're not looking for him to give you

something. It is a game changer. So there is so much more

available for you to experience when you stop looking for that

person to rescue you, when you stop looking for that person to

save you from your pain. It's not going to save you from your

pain. And here's the thing, if loneliness is the part of you

that is dating, if loneliness is the part of you that's choosing

a partner that's trying to find love, you are not going to

attract a healthy relationship. Why? Because that's a saboteur

setup for a saboteur relationship. Because loneliness

is simply a feeling that you feel because you're believing a

story, that the state that you're in and what you're

experiencing right now is not right, that it's not aligned,

that it's not good enough, and that you like you need someone

else to make you feel better. That's a little girl needs

someone else to make you feel better. The only time we feel

lonely is when we are not connected to ourselves. A dear

friend of mine shared she was at this experience in Kenya, at

this amazing resort, and it was like a really, really, really

high end resort with the wealthiest people in the world.

And the thing she said to me is, I cannot believe how

disconnected all of these people are. I can't believe how to

nobody even smiles. And these people have everything, right?

There's another fantasy, once you have more money and more

success and more this, more that, then you'll be happy.

These people are experiencing the most profound traveling

journeys in Africa, where they're getting to go to, like

crazy resorts that are privately owned, just on a conservation

you have to fly in a helicopter to get there, like over the top

wealth. And they're so disconnected. Those people, I

guarantee, are lonely, right? There's a lot of women who are

married to the quote, unquote, love of their life, even loving

healthy relationships, and they're lonely A F, because

they're not home inside of themselves, right? So we've

bought into this lie and this illusion that I'll stop being

lonely when I have a partner, or I'll stop being lonely when I

have better friends, or I'll stop being lonely when I live

with people. Maybe I should get some roommates and stop being

lonely, and then all of a sudden, you want to kill all

your roommates because they're driving you crazy, because

people aren't the answer to your loneliness. Coming home to

yourself is actually the only answer to loneliness, coming

home to yourself. Reconnecting with your own heart and your own

soul and living from that place, because when you live from your

heart and soul, you won't feel lonely anymore, because you'll

be home. What you're actually lonely for is you. What you're

actually aching for, plot twist is you. You're not aching for

someone else. Yes, it feels nice to snuggle and to make love, but

it feels a whole lot nicer when you can actually receive it

because you're home and you can satiate it, and you can actually

appreciate it, but not be holding on to it so tightly that

you need more, more, more, more like you can have these

beautiful life experiences and fully receive them without

holding on to them so tightly because that person cannot

satiate that part of you. The only part of you that feels

lonely is the Wounded Little girl. Why? Because she's not

home. And why is she not home? Because when you were a kid, you

were pulled away from the truth of who you are. You were pulled

away from yourself. That's why you feel lonely, because you've

been living in your fake, conditioned self, your your

saboteur, all of these years, thinking it's you and then

chasing all of these things to feel good. And nothing ever

makes you feel good long term, right under at the end of the

day, you keep going to bed feeling not good enough, like

you're not enough, you're not beautiful enough, you're not

smart enough, you're not worthy enough, you're not lovable

enough, you don't belong. All of that shit goes on because you

were pulled away from the truth of who you are. But when you

become rooted in the truth of who you are, rooted in the true,

sovereign heroine, woman that you are, and you become the

heroine, the leading lady of your own life, loneliness is a

fleeting feeling that you will very rarely feel and it will

only be an indicator that you're not home. It is you that you

ache for. It is your own heart and your own soul that you long

for. It is not someone else. You will absolutely enjoy

relationships and meaningful sisterhood, connections,

friendships, you know, as you deepen into your relationship

with yourself. As you come home to yourself, you will absolutely

get to satiate in all of the connections and intimacy, but

you won't be attached to it. So when I was in my saboteur all

the time, when I lived from the place of sacrifice and people

pleasing and over functioning and trying to pretend I was

perfect, and faking it, and shape shifting, and all of the

all of these things, hiding how I really felt in fantasy that I

was going to be rescued when I lived from that place, I was

lonely all the time. I remember sitting in a room full of my

friends who I loved to the moon, and I felt like I didn't belong,

and I felt like I wasn't enough, and I felt like I was alone

inside of this room full of people gonna go home and feel

even lonelier

because I just wasn't home inside of myself. So come home,

join us for a beautiful workshop on Sunday, February the eighth,

embodied love, so you can bring the feeling of embodied love

into your Valentine's week and rewrite that story completely,

that old, scripted, old, outdated Valentine's story, that

if you're a single woman on Valentine's Day, you're you

know, you're a loser, you better find love quick. And if you're a

woman in relationship, on Valentine's Day, your man better

show up and do all these things for you so that he proves his

love to you. And if not, you're going to feel worth worthless

and not good enough, not lovable, and all those things.

That's the old paradigm of Valentine's Day. You know, this

commercial holiday that I believe in love and love is

actually, I am a teacher of love. Love is my nature. It's

who I am in every sense of the word. I bring love everywhere I

go. I embody love in my life, and I therefore sprinkle love

everywhere I go. Actually, a friend of mine at Ola pangi said

to me, she's like, I feel like probably everyone at Ola pangi

thinks they're in a relationship with you, because I call them

all my love, and I have a close relationship with all of those,

like 45 staff, and I'm really close to all of them, because I

spent so much time there. And I was like, Yeah, that's probably

true, but like, you can be the embodiment of love. That is the

nature of who we are. And so let's rewrite this Valentine's

story, because love is a beautiful thing. You don't have

to be like, Oh, fuck, Valentine's Day. That's

ridiculous. That's a commercial holiday. You know? That's one

side of the pendulum. The other side of the pendulum is like, Oh

my God, I hope my partner proposes, or hope he does

something romantic so I feel worthy and good enough. Or I

hope I attract love by Valentine's Day. Or how am I

single again? Another Valentine's Day on my own, I'm

such a loser like these are the tapes that most women play on

Valentine's Day. And here is an opportunity. This is the month

of love. Actually, every month is the month of love, but let's

hone in on it. This month, February is the month of love.

So why do. You join us for this two and a half hour workshop.

It's only $22 and meet us on Zoom. Meet a whole bunch of

empowered women who are ready to do love differently and and get

some activations to become more embodied in love this week. So

you can bring the energy of love into work. You can bring the

energy of love into your connections, into everything you

do, and especially into your relationship with yourself so

you can pour love into yourself have a romantic Valentine's Day

by being the partner that you desire to have, by being that

partner to yourself, and by romancing yourself and giving

yourself everything that you want to get from someone else so

that your cup is overflowing. You're overflowing with love,

you're overflowing with with pleasure, you're overflowing

with connection and intimacy and the life in the universe can can

now, you know, deliver you whatever experiences you're

meant to have from that place. It is so much more fun to date

and have relationships. And, you know, do everything in life from

the energy of love. So many people just take life so

seriously. It's like, got to be professional now, got to be the

mom now, got to be the this, now got to be the that. And it's

like, what we all need is a lot more love. The Beatles had it

right all along. All we need is love, but like real love, which

is being the embodiment of love, so join us in the workshop. Link

is below this episode. You can go to my website, the unscripted

woman.com, and sign up there, and I can't wait to see you

there. Share this message in this episode with all your

friends you know who are aching and longing for love, and would

love to have them join us for the workshop too. I will see you

there. Send me a message if you have any questions at all, and

we'll see you next week. Happy. Love Day.