[00:00:00] All right, subtle Club, welcome to a new episode of the Awfully Quiet Podcast. Now, I may have listened to too many episodes of the Alexandra Cooper podcast this holiday season because I suddenly feel the need to call you something like the subtle Club, like she calls her listeners, the daddy gang. And I think that's so cool to have something to call you.

[00:00:26] other than the audience or other than the listeners now, granted, I might not have come up with the perfect name yet. So if you've got an idea, please do let me know. Send me a DM at the awfully quiet podcast via Instagram. I'm going to try out some various different things. I feel like. subtle is always a word that I really resonate with because that's what I'm really going for in my career.

[00:00:52] I want something that is not, I want an approach that is not in your face, that is not like the extroverted strategy. So I want it to be subtle, but impactful. So I'm not really sure about terms around quiet, like, you know, the awfully quiet gang now or quiet. The Quiet Gang. I feel like Quiet Club or anything along the lines of that would not have the impact that I want it to have.

[00:01:21] I want it to be cool. I want it to resonate with you. I want it to honor who you are. I want it to honor your being awfully quiet. But at the same time, I want it to be cool. I want you to resonate with that in terms of like, oh, I'd like to be part of that club. So we'll see. The subtle club feels to me a little bit like a cycling club.

[00:01:46] We'll have to see. Although I do love cycling. if you've listened to some of the last episodes, you've heard me talk about cycling, but, We'll see what we're going for. Now, this episode, is an exciting one. Where I am today, it's actually January 1st, so I am recording this in a brand new year. It's Monday, January 1st.

[00:02:11] I've had a really nice New Year's Eve yesterday. We were at our best friend's house. We had a really nice evening doing raclette, which is, something very European, I reckon. Very lovely evening. and then started the day quite quietly with, good coffee, a couple of episodes of the Vampire Diaries.

[00:02:32] And now I feel up to speed to be talking to you for this very first episode of the year that I'm recording. Now, you will be listening to this, a week into January. And at a time where I think you're going to be starting asking yourself questions around, What do I want from the new year? How do I set myself up in my career?

[00:02:56] A lot of you will be doing development plans. I certainly grew up in an organization and in the corporate world in which we would do 70, 20, 10 plans, development plans for each and every year. So January would always be the time where you think about what do you want to tackle going into the new year?

[00:03:18] What are some of the Development areas that you're going after. What are some of the skills you really want to hone? What is the next position you have in mind? And how do you set yourself up to make that next step? How do you gain the right experiences? and yeah, truly hone the right skills in order to get yourself there.

[00:03:39] I reckon. These are some of the things that you are going through at the moment. And what I want to do is I want to take this from a conversation that's around some of your weaknesses and how you can rule them out, how you can become better at certain skills that you feel like You're not as good at yet to a conversation where we talk about how do you double down on your strengths?

[00:04:07] Because doubling down on your strengths, strengthening your strengths can be so much more powerful than focusing on your weaknesses. And how to improve on your weaknesses. Sometimes that's necessary. And sometimes that's part of the game when it comes to the aspirations that you have and the ambitions that you have in your career.

[00:04:30] But today, what I want to leave you with is a new perspective on some of the skills that you may have overlooked in yourself. And those are skills and tendencies that are very. Prominent in introvert personalities. There are a couple of things, a couple of qualities that introverts are inherently good at.

[00:04:55] but we never use them to sell ourselves in the workplace and to stand out in the corporate world, because quite frankly, they don't sound as sexy as they are. And so I want to touch on these today and I want to give you three qualities, three super skills that I bet you have as an introvert in the workplace.

[00:05:18] And I want to give you some ideas of how you may be leveraging them in the new year. To set yourself up for success, put them on the plan, double down on these qualities in order to achieve what you have set out to do in this year. All right, so let's get started. Let's dive in.

[00:05:39] Now, introvert quality number one that I'm sure you're not leveraging to its full potential is listening. And I know what you think when it comes to listening. Now, listening doesn't sound. As sexy as it is. It sounds like a soft skill. It is a soft skill indeed. It sounds like something that everybody is able to do to a certain extent if they push themselves.

[00:06:06] It certainly doesn't sound like a powerful leadership skill. But it is. Now, somebody who's truly able to listen is rare. You will rarely come across somebody in the workplace who is there to listen to their counterpart and who goes into a conversation and is not thinking primarily about what they're going to say.

[00:06:36] But they're going to put, you know, what the value that they are going to add to the situation, because a lot of us in the workplace, we are focusing on ourselves on how we come across on what we're going to be saying in that meeting in order to shine in order to be seen as somebody who, is knowledgeable, somebody who knows their stuff really well.

[00:06:59] And so a lot of individuals in the workplace. We'll not be great listeners, but every once in a while you come across somebody who you feel is there to listen to you and is there to really understand what you've got to say. And I always feel truly inspired by these kind of leaders, by these kind of people in the workplace who are there to truly listen.

[00:07:27] Now, how do we get there? Because true. Introverts are inherently good at listening. We are great listeners. How do you double down on that skill? How do you truly make this something that is an advantage to you in the workplace? how do you take it from a skill? That you can actually sell as something that works in your favor when we take a step back, what is the advantage of listening?

[00:07:57] What is listening there to do? You can think about it from so many different angles. If you are a great listener, chances are you are going to leave your counterpart feeling like their voice matters, their ideas, their opinion matters. And that is. It's super, super powerful in so many different areas of the corporate experience.

[00:08:22] Think about you are a leader and you have a team that you want to engage, keep motivated. If they feel like you truly listen to them, they are going to be a lot more engaged. They are going to do a hell of a job for you. Now they'll go through fire for you if it comes to it. If they feel like you're not really listening to them, chances are.

[00:08:46] They may not be as motivated. They may not be as engaged. Think about somebody who deals with customers, somebody who works in sales. Now, you want that customer to feel like you listen to them. You want that customer to have You want them to feel like you. You are there for them. You know what they want and need.

[00:09:12] You can anticipate some of these needs. You might want to make it work for them. You want to find a win win situation and you only really get to that win win if you truly know how to listen and if you can go into a conversation with them. Not thinking about what it is that you want and what it is that you can bring to the table and how to wow them.

[00:09:38] But if you are somebody who listens to their customers and what they have to say, you're actually going to be able to go back and create a win win situation that you can then present to them the next time around. Going from customers, I'm also thinking about consumers. Now, I'm somebody who works in marketing these days.

[00:10:00] I am a brand manager and most important to me is the consumer and truly understanding what their wants and needs are. Why are they buying my product? Why are they not buying my product? What are their concerns? What are their pain points? How can I make the world better for them with my product? Those are all the questions that I.

[00:10:23] I should be asking, I should know my consumer really, really well. And the only way I can get to know them and I can get to know more about them is through listening. The best way for a marketer to do a great job today and has always been getting into a conversation. With the consumer. True. We do all sorts of fancy researches these days, which really take away this experience of speaking face to face to a consumer, but it's still the most powerful tool for a marketer to do great work is to truly understand and listen to.

[00:11:07] The consumer ask the right questions and then listen, active listening and again, not to ask more questions and not to, you know, sell themselves as great marketers. It's truly just to be there and listen. So, I feel like. Some of these angles could help you bring this to life in your career, in terms of like, how might listening benefit your reality this year?

[00:11:42] Are you somebody who works with customers? Are you somebody who works with a team? Are you somebody who works with consumers? And How might truly listening to them make a difference? Now, granted, truly listening will also mean that you have to give up some of the control that you are used to having in conversations.

[00:12:10] Let me give you an example of this podcasting experience. Now, when I interview guests, I make damn sure that I have great questions prepared. I want to make sure that I understand some of their context. I understand the topics that they often speak about in interviews. I will listen in on other podcast conversations that they've had in order to bring to life something that is slightly different, that pulls a slightly different angle.

[00:12:40] I want to ask them questions that I know they'll be able to talk about. I want to ask them questions that I know they'll be interested in as well. I want to create a really Good environment, a win win situation. And I want to bring to life, a conversation that, you know, you truly want to listen to now in preparing all of that and in having questions laid out in front of me, that makes it really difficult for me to listen, because while I may be asking really good questions. While the other person answers the question, I'm already thinking about my next question. I often find myself glancing at that script and at those interview questions in terms of like, how may I build the bridge to that next question? How can I get from what this person is currently saying to what I want to ask next, and honestly, that takes away from a great interview experience because instead of truly listening.

[00:13:43] I'm already on to the next question and it takes away some of the things I could touch on that they're saying at the moment that I hadn't thought about in my interview prep. So that's something I am truly working on as a podcaster in 2024 is how do I prepare well for interviews? How do I have the questions layout, but still make room and make space?

[00:14:09] For something that comes up on the spot. Now, what that means is, for example, letting them answer and then grabbing on to something that they have said that is off script that I haven't prepared. It may also mean I need a couple of seconds. Before asking the next question, I may not be as on the spot. I may not be able to react right right away.

[00:14:37] And it may take a couple of seconds. And that may be the same thing for you and the conversations that you have with your team, with your customers, with your consumers, with whoever you work with in 2024 is You may not be as on the spot as before with your pre prepared questions with like the question that you prepare in your mind while the other person speaks.

[00:15:03] What I learned in the conversation I had with Matt Abrahams on impromptu speaking is that the true magic in communication lies in those impromptu moments in the moments that you go off script in the moments that you are unprepared. In the moments that you cannot follow a pattern that you have laid out for yourself, that you have practiced over time, but in the moments that you truly let yourself react to what the other person has said, it's something that I'm going to be working on in 2024 and I hope that you will be honing that skill as well.

[00:15:42] I know you've got the foundation and now we're going to take it to the next level.

[00:15:49] Now, introvert. Quality number 2 that I want you to focus on in 2024 is idea creation. Now, as introverts, our, one of our biggest strengths. Is that inward focus, that place where we go when we get quiet. It's that rich inner world that holds so much space for creativity, for idea creation, to shape our perspectives, to come up with things that are truly original.

[00:16:25] That are out of the box, as we like to say that go the extra mile just to stick with the buzzwords and the corporate lingo. So idea creation is something that I feel like. A lot of introverts are great at, and if you're anything like me, you will have heard that in your life before. Oh, you are great at brainstorming.

[00:16:51] You may have been invited to brainstorming sessions, and you are the one who comes up with the good ideas. You are the one who will sit there in silence, who will take in what everybody else says. And then you will drop the idea bomb of something that everybody is truly resonating with. And everybody's like, where does that come from?

[00:17:13] And that's the magic of that inward focus that introverts have. Instead of taking our energy from the external environment, we take our energy from our inward focus. And. That's where great ideas stem from. Now, what I want you to think about going into 2024 is actually, how do you set yourself up to create great ideas?

[00:17:40] How can you honor that space that you need? And how can you make sure that you actually get to focus inward, that you get to have some time to think for yourself and to truly go inward? How do you make room for that in your day to day corporate experience, or, you know, whether you work in the corporate environment or you work for yourself, how do you make room for that?

[00:18:05] Now, if you've been listening to this podcast for a while, you will have heard me talk about my daily lunch walks that I do. And honestly, they're extended lunch walks. It's not a 30 minute walk. It's, it's like a one hour thing. And. I've been doing that for years now, and to just draw a picture for you.

[00:18:24] It's not like I have this time where I had this time. Originally. I really had to make room for it in my calendar because my corporate job is back to back to back meetings and. It is nothing to be proud of. It's nothing that works for anybody, really. So, at one point, I started to, work from home. Well, basically during COVID, when everybody worked from home, but I never really went back to the office.

[00:18:49] So, I had to come up with something that would help keep me sane, that would, give me some of the energy back that I used up. On these back to back meeting structures and initially I started. This extended dog walk during lunchtime from a place of wanting to get my 10, 000 steps in a day. and it stuck with me and I often talk about this habit of mine as in something that I do for wellness, something that I do to stay sane, something that I do to keep some of the balance during the day.

[00:19:31] But what it really is outside of that, it's a idea creation machine. It's where I come up with my best thinking with my best ideas. I will go out for a dog walk during lunchtime after a morning of meetings and meetings and meetings. and that's the very first time that I actually get to reflect on some of that.

[00:19:56] So the first 10, 20 minutes of that walk is usually just Kind of mindlessly reflecting on what has happened in the morning and just kind of getting out of it. And at some point, usually after 20 minutes, what happens is I don't think about it anymore. I somehow I put my mind off of. What happened in the morning and that's when I feel like this whole clearing starts to happen and I start to have that clean slate that everybody talks about.

[00:20:30] I started to have that fresh mind and that fresh air, like, literally breathing through me and I'm like, Oh, here's an idea of something that I thought that I touched on this morning that I wouldn't have come up with if I would have just stuck to, you know, the normal 20 minute lunch. At my laptop in front of my, at my desk and, you know, jumping into the next meeting afterwards.

[00:20:58] So it's not only for wellness reasons. It's not only a wellness hack to clear your head and go for a walk. It's also to become better at what you do. It's also going to help you be better at your job, come up with better ideas, not only be this person who comes from you, who runs from meeting to meeting and doesn't really get to do any thinking and any doesn't spark any brilliance really.

[00:21:30] And you want to get yourself. Into that space, because that's what you're great at as an introvert, you want to leverage that inward focus like hell. You want to make sure that people know about this. You come up with the best ideas and how do you come up with the best ideas? You want to know that about yourself.

[00:21:50] Now, for me, it's the dog walk for me, for you, this might be something entirely different. it may be going, you know, going to a yoga class. It might be a meditation. It might be completely unrelated to that. It might be a shower. A lot of people come up with their best ideas in the shower and it's. It's backed by research why this works.

[00:22:11] It's like you're in the shower. You completely take your mind off things because you're not on your phone during that time. You are not in front of a screen. You're not thinking about anything else other than showering. Maybe Taylor Swift. If you're anything like me, singing along in the shower. So have a think about.

[00:22:32] What are the moments during the day when you get to come up with ideas? What does that look like? What does the environment look like? It might be a cafe that you love where they serve excellent coffee and you're just in the midst of it and you're sipping on your flat white and you come up with really good ideas, just kind of taking in the whole environment and, looking at the people around you.

[00:22:59] Or it might be something else. So find that out. Focus on how do you come up with your best ideas? How do you put yourself into that space in 2024? Because I am so sure that that's going to propel you forward. In 2024 now, introvert quality number 3 that I want you to focus on in 2024 is introspection.

[00:23:30] Now, literally introspection is probably 1 of the skills. 1 of the tendencies. 1 of the qualities that is strongest for you, but you may not be aware. That it is a leadership skill, that it is something that can truly help you in your career, that can move you forward. That is a competitive advantage. Now, again, what does introspection mean?

[00:24:01] It means that your inward focus allows you to know yourself and get to know yourself really, really well. And while you may have thought all your life that that's something that everybody has, it's a given. Let me tell you, it's not. Introspection is, as the word says, something that introverts. Are really, really good at.

[00:24:28] You're good at going inward. You're good at figuring out what it is that you need. You are very likely in tune with how your energy works. The kind of things and activities that will give you energy, the kind of things that will draw from your energy, the kind of things that will drain your energy. And that's because you are in tune with how you work, with what makes you work, what fuels you, and you will naturally do this already.

[00:25:01] Now, this year. I want you to do that for your career and for your personal growth, for your development. Now, what does this look like? What do you want to make sure is to get to know yourself really, really well, because only if you know yourself, well, are you able to articulate some of these things and sell yourself better?

[00:25:26] I know that's. It's always the dreaded thing when it comes to career progression is that moment in time when you got to talk about yourself, you got to. Toot your own horn, you gotta sell yourself for a job that you want, for a project that you want on, for an opportunity that comes up, and you gotta put your hat in the ring for it, and you're gonna let somebody know, whether it's an interviewer, a recruiter, a hiring manager, a senior manager, you gotta let them know, why you, why should we hire you?

[00:26:02] Why are you the right person for this opportunity? Why do you need to be on this project? And in that moment, you're going to need to be ready with an answer. And I know that is. What most introverts are dreading. I get a lot of DMs about this. I'm hearing you. I'm seeing you. And I've been you still to this day is something that I'm working on in terms of like, how do you sell yourself?

[00:26:28] How do you talk about your qualities in a way that is not awkward? That's not icky. That's not salesy. That just feels natural. Like the extroverts do and so introspection and self reflection is the 3rd thing that I want you to focus on going into 2024. Now, what you want to ask yourself is how do you.

[00:26:55] How do you collaborate? Well, how do you convince somebody else to do something a certain way? How do you get somebody to deliver on time? How do you get somebody to get back to you without having to be that person who nudges by a teams of like, remember end of day fast for this last week? Why have you not answered my email yet?

[00:27:20] how do you give feedback? How do you interact with others? How do you manage a conversation where there is conflict or where there is potential conflict? Now, all of that is self reflection. All of that is that introspection and figuring out your unique style. Because I'm sure there's a lot of advice out there on how to run a feedback conversation, on how to get somebody to do something for you, on how to engage somebody in a way that they want to do great work, that they want to collaborate with you.

[00:27:59] But most of that is useless unless you truly understand your own style. Now, I'm going to give you another example of something that I had on my personal development plan for my corporate job last year. Now, as you know, I have just started as a brand manager one year ago, being responsible for a major brand.

[00:28:22] In the European region and one of the things that that job required that I didn't do before is work with big, big media and creative agencies. Now, therefore, my big development area in 2023 was to deliver feedback and to give creative feedback on something that was presented to me as a marketer. And I've seen so many different people.

[00:28:52] Do it differently in 2023. I've had a boss who gave very direct feedback who, you know, was very on the spot very on point. and then there are people who are very empathetic in the feedback that they give not as direct. Very warm. They would give feedback sandwiches. They would start with something that is really, really positive.

[00:29:15] Then they would somehow weave in something that is very critical and then they would end with something that is, you know, very solution oriented. How do we get this to a place where it's better, et cetera. The, the task for me was really to find my own style and giving feedback. You know, am I the direct person?

[00:29:39] Am I the bad cop? Am I the good cop? Am I somewhere in between? What is true to me? How do I, how do I give feedback in a way that it lands? Because let me tell you, if you want to mirror something who is really direct, who is really assertive, and that's absolutely not you. You are going to fail that feedback is not coming across in a way that you wanted to.

[00:30:03] And it's super important to engage with these partners, to engage with these agencies in a way that is collaborative, that is indeed solution oriented. That makes sense. That makes them feel like you care. You care about the work that they do and the way you deliver your feedback. Is beneficial to the project, is beneficial to the campaign that you're running.

[00:30:29] And so I needed to find my own style and I found out that I am not one to deliver a feedback sandwich. I am not one to say something super positive when I am not buying into the idea that I'm being presented with. I am one to be more direct, but I have found a way to be very direct.

[00:30:55] In a way that is true to myself, that is a little bit warmer, that is, I will often say what I think in a way that lands and I will build relationships with those people I work with, with those agency partners that will enable me to say things how I, how I feel, I will often have that, you know, German directness, that's just in my blood and I'll just say the things how they are and I feel like, That's, that's me going down a path that is authentic and that builds great relationships.

[00:31:31] Now, how did I get there? A lot of introspection, a lot of those dog walks. Going out of conversations that, you know, I, I just didn't feel quite there yet. I felt like I delivered feedback that didn't quite land. And towards the end of the year, the more I did that, the more I understood about myself and the more I focused in on my personality, my style, my human design also helped me figure some of these things out, the better I got.

[00:32:04] And the more I developed a style that was true to myself. And that's what I want you to do in 2024 as well. I want you to come up with who you are to truly understand yourself in the corporate environment. What is your personal leadership style? And I'm going to be doing a lot more episodes on how to find your leadership style and how to figure out.

[00:32:32] What that means for you and give you a few more tools to do that. But for now, all you need is that introspection muscle. I know you have it. Start by asking yourself some simple questions. Who am I from a personality perspective? How do I want to interact? How do I interact with others? That is true to me.

[00:33:00] How do I want other people to feel after they interacted with me or when they interact with me? Start there and then we'll take it from there now to recap the three qualities that I want you to focus on in 2024. Because they are inherent to introvert personalities and I'm sure you can take them from good to great.

[00:33:23] The first one is listening. How do you set yourself up to truly listen? How do you give up some of the control? Of thinking about how you're going to answer the next question that you're going to make and instead listen. Number two, idea creation. How do you make sure you have the room and the space to come up with great ideas in 2024?

[00:33:52] And number three, introspection. How do you get to know yourself truly in 2024? How do you become more effective at what you do? How do you interact with others? That is true to yourself. Now, these are the three things that I want you to think about as you start to think about your development plans, as you start to go into those conversations with your boss or with your senior managers, with whoever you speak about and come up with a plan for you to truly hone these introverted qualities and to make your awfully quiet something.

[00:34:34] That is a competitive advantage in the workplace and that propels you forward. Now, thank you for listening to this episode of the awfully quiet podcast. I'm so excited for you to tune in subtle club. Let's see about that. Don't forget to let me know if you want to hear some more, if you have any questions and I can't wait for you to tune in next time, see you there.