Hello, welcome to another episode of Unleashing Brilliance.
I am Janine Garner, your go-to rebel magician, your straight
talking business bestie, and your reminder that you have one life.
So let's make it bold let's make it brilliant and Let's
make it unapologetically you.
Now, today we're gonna go there.
I wanna talk about your network, but more importantly, what I wanna talk about
today is who does not deserve to be in it.
Who are the people that we actually need to sack from our network?
Now, I once had this boss who on paper, she ticked all of the boxes.
She was a mom.
She had three kids just like me.
She was fierce.
She was results driven and for a while she was an incredible supporter of me.
She backed me.
She celebrated my work.
She opened doors for me, but then something changed.
It was almost like as I grew, as my network of influence expanded and my
ideas got bolder, the energy shifted.
You know, meetings that were once really collaborative and and fun became
nitpicky and ideas that used to be applauded and celebrated and rewarded.
They started to get shut down faster than a toddler's tantrum.
And this woman that had once inspired me, she started clipping my wings.
Now I'm all for feedback and accountability, but this wasn't that.
This was a classic case of someone who once lifted me, was
now trying to keep me small.
And that's my friends, is not the energy that we need on our road to brilliance.
Have you any, any of you felt like that this moment where the energy shifted,
the conversations changed and suddenly, it felt like people were trying to
keep you small or bring you down.
So that's what we're talking about today.
I wanna deep dive into who you need to sack from your network.
Not out of spite, not out of ego, but actually out of radical self-respect.
Because if you want to grow, if you wanna shine, if you wanna truly unleash
everything that you are capable of, you've got to create your network
with that same love, attention and strategy that you give your goals.
here's the truth bomb.
Your network isn't just a list of LinkedIn contacts or the people that show up to
your launch party or that celebrate with you or that like your content on LinkedIn.
Your network is your ecosystem.
It should feed your growth, your thinking, and your ambition.
Too many of us are holding onto people who actively or passively work against us.
And I wonder why that is.
Maybe it's because it feels awkward to change.
Maybe it's because we've known these people forever.
'cause we're taught to be the good girl.
We're taught to be nice, but niceness is not a growth strategy.
And being liked isn't the same as being respected.
Here's what I want you to know.
A strategic network isn't just about having the best, the most awesome
people around you, the people.
If you've read my book, it's who you know that I talk about in there.
It's about having the right 12 people.
Your network is your fuel.
It's your tribe.
It's your inner circle of badass humans who will push you to
be better, bolder and braver.
I want you to think of this a bit like parenting, right?
We wouldn't let our kids hang out with toxic influences, so
why do we allow it ourselves?
One of the things I do every 12 months as I'm starting to plan my
next 12 months of goals and growth strategies, I actually audit my network.
Think of it like a spring clean of the soul.
You know, I think about who's adding value, who's zapping my energy, who
makes me shine, and who does my light?
It's a time today to do a bit of a network audit yourself, and what I'm
going to run through are the people that you should seriously consider
sacking from your network because they are quietly or loudly undermining your
journey and it's time to call them out.
So I wanna introduce you to the saboteurs, the drainers, and the ditch worthy.
Now I do expand on this, in my book.
It's who you know.
Before this podcast, I just wanted to share these few people with you, and as
I'm describing them, just have a think about what it is that you're trying
to achieve over the next 12 months.
Think about what you're trying to achieve professionally and
personally, and consider the people that you've got around you.
And as I'm describing these, ask yourself whether any of these people exist.
So the first one, there's 12 of them, right?
So I'm gonna go through them one by one.
So the first one is the saboteur.
Now this person pretends to support you.
They actually steal ideas and insights for their own game.
They extract your brilliance and they run with it.
They usually disguise it under curiosity, asking lots of questions or, I'm just
wanting to learn from you for a minute.
And the next minute your ideas out there in the world, under your name have, have
any of you got that person in your world?
Here's the thing, I want you to sack them because They're not
collaborating, they're capitalising.
The second person I call the back staber.
These are the person that smiles in the room, but they you behind your back.
Passive aggressive emails, slidings and strategic sabotage.
You might even hear that they've been taking credit for your work or feeding
false narratives to decision makers.
I had one of these people who actually claimed that they had written my book.
Can you believe it?
They did that again, sack them because Trust is currency and they're bankrupt.
Third person, have a think.
Do you have a dream stealer in your world?
These people are wrapped in foe concern.
Are you sure?
Isn't that a little bit risky?
Um, I was talking to a person who was a former client of mine who has just left a
very senior position in a big organization and people around her going, ah, you're
putting your career growth at risk.
What are you doing?
You know, They usually mean well, but they just can't see past their own fear.
Often they show up as friends or family who just want you to be realistic.
And I quote.
Again, sack them You don't need protection from your own dreams.
You actually need people that are gonna fuel those dreams.
You need to be given the permission to go, not be held back because
someone else is scared for themselves.
So I want you to sack them.
Fourth person.
Energy vampires.
You know, every catchup is an emotional drain.
They leave you feeling drained and heavy and uninspired.
They see obstacles, not opportunities.
A single conversation with them feels like you've run a marathon in
concrete boots again, if you've got.
These energy vampires in your world sack them because You need batteries,
not black holes.
You need people that are gonna fire you up and energize you, not
those people that are going to make you feel you can't do it.
Fifth person I call
the skeptic.
The skeptic, pokes holes in everything.
Never curious.
Only critical.
They're the ones who are always asking.
But have you thought about what could go wrong?
They never offer a solution Again, these people, I want you to sack them
because Doubt is contagious and your confidence, my friend, is precious.
Six person.
The narcissist.
I had one of these in my world too.
I had a, actually had a narcissist employed in my business.
They almost actually bankrupted my business.
The challenge with the narcissist is it's all about them.
Always, you become an audience, not a peer.
They interrupt, they dominate, they belittle, suddenly
everything has been lost.
They'll get round to it.
They'll deliver it later.
They never follow through on the thing that they've promised
because it's all about them.
They're under the guise of just being passionate, and yet every conversation
somehow ends up being about them.
Their latest twin, the thing that's wrong with them, whatever
it may be, again, sack them because conversation has to be a two-way
street, not a spotlight on one person.
Seventh person liar.
The liar.
They promise help.
They promise the introductions.
They promise the support.
They promise they're gonna do something, but then they ghost.
Or they gaslight.
They say, I'll send you that email, or I'll back you, but
you never hear from them again.
If you chase them, there's always an excuse.
Sack them because you need reliability, not excuses as
you are growing your business.
Eighth person, the critic, their feedback isn't helpful, it's harmful.
They chip away at your ideas, your confidence, your courage.
You know, it's those sideways glances.
It's the in meetings, it's the snide comments.
It's that, I'm just being honest with you.
It's all that type of thing.
Again, sack them because you deserve brave space, not bruises.
Ninth person, the labeler, they books you in.
You're not that kind of person.
Stay in the LA in your lane.
What do you mean you want to become a business coach when
you've trained as an accountant?
What do you mean you wanna leave that corporate career?
I. That you've just spent 20 years building.
What do you mean you wanna change careers after all these qualifications?
The laborer loves a tidy category and they get really twitchy when you
stretch beyond that, beyond what they believe that you might be capable of.
Classic.
What do you mean you wanna do that?
But aren't you a parent?
Aren't you a mom?
What do you mean you wanna go back part-time?
What do you mean you wanna write another book?
What do you mean you wanna travel?
What do you mean you've got children?
And that's some of them that I had early on in my career getting sack them.
Because you're not a product, you are a possibility.
Number 10, the bully.
We've seen lots of these in organizations, haven't we?
We've seen lots of these people around us.
We see lots of these in the playground.
If we've got children, and many of us may have experienced this ourselves
when we've been in the playground, the bully, they intimidate, they manipulate,
they shame, they dominate rooms.
They cl kill innovation.
This one might be a colleague, a competitor.
It could even be a boss who uses power to keep you in check against SEC them,
because safety is a non-negotiable.
11th, we've got two more to go.
The gossip, they share everything, especially what isn't theirs to share.
They're the source of whispers, drama, and division.
Being in their circle always feels risky, sack them because if they
gossip to you, they're going to be the person that's gossiping about you.
And the final person is the coaster.
They're nice, they're harmless, but they never challenge.
They never challenge you anyway, and they certainly never contribute.
They just sit there.
You leave conversations wondering why you even caught up.
I. Sack them because you are not here to coast.
You are here to climb.
Now, as I said, I'm not saying start slashing contacts like your Marie Koning
in a fury, but what I am saying is take a moment to reflect on those 12 people
and start getting in intentional and how.
Do you sack these people?
You know, many people when I teach this stuff say to me, but Janine, how
do I sack PE people from my network?
I think it's really simple actually.
You simply reduce the contact.
You stop taking the calls.
You say no to the coffees, you stop doing the catch-ups, you quietly
withdraw, and you know what?
They'll end up disappearing because here's the truth, they
were never that into you anyway.
They were into their access to you.
They were into your energy, they were into your ideas, but they
were not actually that into you.
One client of mine once told me that she used to come into the office,
buzzing, ready to go, really pumped up, and every single time her
equivalent of a Debbie, Diana would swing by and go, can we go for coffee?
And every single time she'd say yes until she stopped, until she
realized that this particular Debbie Downer was her energy drainer.
And so she stopped.
She started to say no, and guess what?
The coffee invites dried up.
The drain disappeared.
If one of these saboteurs is someone that you need to distance from,
it could be a do a boss, it could be a client, it could be someone
that you just have to deal with.
Here's what I recommend.
Knowledge is power.
Knowing how they make you feel is power.
That's what's empowering that awareness is a gift.
So if you know you are gonna spend some time with these people, it may be a
meeting or you've got to hang out with them for whatever reason, put up your
shield, have zero expectations, stop going in, hoping for gold for things to change.
Go in expecting, neutral, and protect your energy like it's your
most valuable asset because it is.
So here's what I want you to do.
I want you to audit your circle.
Because it's about protecting your energy, choosing people who fuel
your fire, not put water on it.
And remember, success is a team sport.
And you get to pick your team, create a network that stretches you, that champions
you, and network that challenges you and reminds you just how damn capable
and how fri awesome you are because you, you are building something.
Epic.
You are playing big and that demands people who get it, who
get you, and who want to see you.
So, so here's your mission for this week, I want you to audit your network.
Have a think about who drains you, who doubts you, who dismisses your
brilliance, and think about who deserves more of your time, more of your energy,
more of your proximity, more of you.
Get rid of those that are dimming you and put time and give energy
and yourself to those that lift you, believe in you, and fuel your energy.
If this episode gave you a little nudge, a reminder, or a full blown
fire in your belly, please share it.
Please send it to someone who needs it.
And again, tag me.
Let's keep this conversation going because the more we talk about this,
the more brilliant women we can empower to take their space, to raise
their standards, and to surround themselves with pure rocket fuel.
Until next time.
Stay bold, stay brilliant and keep unleashing the brilliant
individual that you are.
See you next week.