there are two things that make the body sick. One is inflammation and the other is fear. when you're uncertain. Ask yourself, what would I do if I weren't afraid? The important things for me and that I teach people are one, have a gratitude practice every single day, twice a day.

​Hello listeners and welcome back Our guest today is Dr. Margaret Cochran and Dr. Cochran, please introduce yourself.

Well, professionally, I'm Dr. Margaret Cochran, AKA, the relationship doctor across social media. have degrees in experience in clinical social work, clinical psychology, clinical hypnosis, metaphysics law, traditional psychology, transpersonal psychology, and wildlife, rehabilitation of all things. I've always

Hi.

in medicine with physicians, so that world is very comfortable to me and my professional biases that you cannot affect the body without affecting the mind, and you cannot affect the mind without affecting the body.

there was a, there was a metaphysics.

Mm-hmm.

tell us what that is For someone not knowledgeable about meta metaphysics.

There are not degrees available in it. So, metaphysics was self-study for me, I happen to be a big fan of traditional physics. what most people don't realize is in the world of traditional physics, they're always exploring the beyond the, the great question, the unknown, the whatever that is out there. Some people call it god, you know, the great mystery, whatever. And so physics often collides with metaphysics and metaphysics. Meta meaning larger is the idea that, yeah, there's something big out there and we don't quite get it.

can you tell us a little bit about your school of thought for therapy, what your primary approach is, and what a person might expect if they were going into therapy with you or with another psychotherapist or, or counselor.

Well, I don't know if I can speak for others. I'm a little

Not broadly, right.

as the saying goes outstanding in my field, right. I'm a little different. but one of the, the main things I ask people about is what are you afraid of? Because there are two things that make the body sick. One is inflammation and the other is fear. And fear frequently precipitates inflammation. And inflammation frequently makes fear worse. So they work together hand in hand. So I do energy psychology with people to reduce inflammation. And then, I will just ask him, tell me like, like this man. I said, what, what are you afraid of? And so immediately he, it, it, it, it gave him a door to walk through to say, I'm afraid, I dunno how to be myself. I, I'm afraid I don't know who I am, afraid. I don't know how to love. I mean, those were not things he knew how to explore before. Absolutely never think to. But once we laid out all those fears, I'd say, okay, pick one. Where do you wanna start? And then he would choose whatever he wanted to do and we'd go down that road. For the most part, people are troubled about relationship, which is why I'm the relationship doctor. It's either relationship with yourself or relationship with others, but they're both vitally important in your life.

Are they closely related, the, the concept of hypnotherapy and some of the work that we're doing and, and we, as we talk about metaphysics or is it, just not along those lines.

Well, you know what it is, it's really about our, our brain is back to brains again. Our brain is a, is a giant, switchboard

Okay.

it allows the body to function the way it does. And it is very closely connected to circuits in the gut

Right,

the heart. And there is constant interplay and conversation between those parts of ourselves. And so, we can have injury. for example, if you have a a, a big surgery, often people are very depressed after that. or, or you'll have a baby and, and you have postpartum, right? So you're,

right.

experience, affects everything that goes on about the way you think and feel and react to things. It's really important to know that. So if you, you, you can use hypnosis to help regulate some of those things. And, well, like, you know, I, I do hypnosis. I control your blood pressure, your breathing, your sense of pain, all that kind of stuff. And in fact, I was doing, I was doing a surgery and this guy, he was a police officer and someone had, ugh, shot off his kneecap. was awful. So we were, we were doing a pat ectomy and putting in a new joint. So I'm like keeping him. I am and we, and we always have a chemical anesthesia anesthesiologist on standby in case there's an emergency. So anyway, I'm talking to the guy in his ear, I'm saying, oh yeah, everyone's laughing because you're doing so well. And they're telling jokes 'cause the surgery's going well, and your body's so relaxed, you're already started healing. It's already beginning. New cells are formed. I'm doing all my thing. Right? All of a sudden the surgeon says, stop. Okay. thought, God, what have I done? He said, I, I said, is everything okay down there? of course I have a drape up here. I don't see him. says, getting very relaxed and I just needed you to stop for a minute refocus. And yeah, many people will say, well, you know, I'm not hypnotizable or I'm, I've never been hypnotized. But in fact, I guarantee you, you have. And here's a common example. Have you ever been in the car? And it's rainy a little bit and the windshield wipers are on. And they're going back and forth and back and forth, and all of a sudden it's your destination and you don't really remember how you got there. That's a level one trance. Now, of course, obviously there are deeper trances if I'm gonna control your perception of pain, right? That's not a level one trance, but, everyone has been in that, or, or maybe you've had a time when you just found yourself staring and just kinda shut down. That's, that's a little trance right there. So if you yourself in trance, you can remember things. you can also, help you relax and change the way you respond to an injury or a trauma, when you come to full waking consciousness again. I mean, there's all kinds of things that you can do with it if it's done well in the right hands.

So, you know, you say a, a level one trance or which we've experienced and haven't, maybe haven't recognized, but probably everyone has had that occur. Like I said, it's a great example with the, the windshield wipers. When I was taking driver's ed way back when, they called it highway hypnosis. I dunno if that's still the same term, but when you're driving for many miles,

Yep.

it, it is easy to, To come out of full alertness, but really what you're referring to is not so much that because what are you, are you letting your prefrontal cortex just take control of the obvious mechanics of keeping the car in the lane and then the rest of your brain or other parts of your brain are able to take over what's happening there?

actually, once you're hypothalamus, you're kind of, it's muscle memory. You're just driving with muscle memory. And you have, and one of the things I talk about when I use hypnosis with people is you can come to full waking consciousness anytime you want to. So you don't need to be concerned wherever we're going that you're gonna be stuck there. 'cause a lot of people are scared, well, if there's a fire, what if something happens? You know? And I reassure them, Nope, you come to full waking consciousness like that. Don't worry about it. Right now though, maybe you'd just like to listen to my voice and follow along and we'll take a journey together.

Tell us where you would have a person practice self anchoring, if that's something you're, you, you've described or prescribed for other people. What it does when you would use it, what it is. Just for those of our listeners that might not be familiar with anchoring of, of, you know, the, the personal concept of anchoring like that.

Well, one of the things, is, let's take, let's take someone who has been doing, compulsive eating.

Great.

And unfortunately in my profession, we do not see that as a disorder.

It's just a weakness. I can't control my appetite.

But it's no different than any other addiction.

Right,

exactly the same. So, I, I would take that person and, and help them, encourage them to develop a little anchor about, okay, so when I have the urge to eat, not that I'm hungry, but I just have the urge to eat that I'll, my thumb and forefinger together and just sit and sit sit sit. then you do that for a period of time, usually I'll, I'll set, you know, like, to two minutes, something like that. you still want to eat because you're hungry, go eat. But in most cases, they're not hungry. And

right.

anchor them. Huh? Okay, I can relax because a lot of compulsive behavior, whether it's addiction to, porn for example, or, alcohol or other substances, there's not only the physical piece, but there's also, our hypothalamus is, you can't live without this. You are going to die. If you don't eat right now, you are going to die. If you don't, go masturbate right now. You are going to die if you don't do whatever it is, which isn't true, that part of your brain is, is an older part of your brain and so efficient that it can bypass the prefrontal cortex. So, no, no thinking is going on.

Mm.

Okay? And when that happens, you know, there's no judgment. and, and you, you lose the ability to problem solve.

It's, sorry, I'm not conversant enough with everything to, to keep it flowing smoothly in my head. The hypothalamus, a term that is, we talk come across frequently in this, in many other areas really, and a lot of reading. Is it lizard Brain? Is that the hypothalamus? Us.

well that's not quite the, the lister brain is really more about back here your amygdala is. That's your limbic system. so, remorse is when you feel badly for doing something, you've, you've done something wrong, you've made a mistake. Okay? Shame implies that you are a mistake. You're fundamentally flawed. If only you were the

Wow.

of person, you would do this or that. So it's a very destructive, horrible word, and it's just, you gotta get rid of it. It's a bad, bad, bad thing. However, let's say you've got a kid and, they got into an argument with another kid, which happens all the time. And, so you go in and see this squabble going on and say, you know, what's going on? And, the, the victim in the story says, well, he was mean to me and he did this and that. I said, oh, well, why was he mean to you? Well. Well, I took his truck. Oh, I see.

Ah, you got it.

So then I would say, instead of shame on you, go over there and say you're sorry. I would say, Hmm. How do you suppose he feels about that? Probably not good. Well, how's his face look over there. How's he, does he, does he look happy or sad? What do you think? He looks kind of sad. Okay, well how about we go over and talk to him about that and pretty soon, of course they're best of friends and that, and that's the end of the story. But basically what you've taught that child is a lot about compassionate conflict solution.

Now that is so strong and I think I'm, I'm probably interrupting you here 'cause I think you had probably some follow on comments there, but I would frequently find myself saying, you shouldn't have done that. Right? I took his truck. Well, you shouldn't have done that. That doesn't mean anything to a child or to an employee or to a spouse.

Yeah. I'll have to tell you, when I was teaching years ago, one of the things I loved more than anything else, because of course, you know, you can look up anything, you can read a book about anything, but who you become as a person everything. And I had this little girl and I got her when she was in the second grade. She couldn't read a word, could not read everybody giving up on her. And so I realized that instead of a visual learner or an auditory learner, she was what's called a tactical kinesthetic learner. So she had to feel things to learn them. we started making all these, three by five cards, and every time she'd learn a new word, we'd write it in glue and then put glitter on it.

Oh, nice.

she had this,

I.

little box she carried with her everywhere, with all these words, right? So we would play, word games, and of course, part of teaching kids is you teach 'em how to win. You teach 'em how to lose, right? You do both. And so sometimes I would lose a game very badly. I may cry when I tell you the story. one day I, I made sure that I lost badly. And I said, oh, I didn't do a good job at all. I, I didn't, I don't know my words. And I, I did not do a good job at all. So she's packing the cards back in the box and she says, Ms. Cochran, worry. You can take the carts home this weekend and practice, and I know when you come back on Monday you'll be able to win the game. Oh, there I can die happy now.

Hmm.

cause she can always learn words and she will. She went on to be a very successful person. But it was the empathy, it was the compassion, it was the reassurance you can be successful, which is the opposite of shame, which is there's no way you can be successful. What is wrong with you? You shouldn't do that versus, okay, so, Hmm. Are you happy with that choice? Is it taking you closer to or further away from where you want to be? That's a really important question to ask yourself all the

you're an author, you're a published author, I believe, and we haven't talked about your book at all. Can you tell us, about your book and, or books if you have them?

Well, there are actually several, but, my favorite, well one of them is what are you afraid of? you know, fears, big topic. another one is, Nagi and the Secrets of the Universe. And it's about a young man who, won't do what he loves 'cause he's so afraid of failing, that he goes out and

Hmm.

else in the world. And then all of a sudden one day he realizes, well, this is silly. he goes off and pursues his dream. And then the last one, which is my favorite of the three, is, Sylvia and the Magic Power Sticks. And it's a story about, a princess and she lives in a castle with her family, and she likes to see the magic that's all around us. And she's always inviting her family to see the magic with her. And they're always saying, Sylvia, Sylvia, Sylvia, what's to become of you? is ridiculous. Okay, finally she meets a lot of magical creatures. And basically they say, okay, here's some power sticks. These are gonna keep you safe, but the thing you have to remember is you can't other people see what they're not ready to see. So disappears, and Sylvia basically goes back and tries to get her family to see all this wonderful magic, they still won't do it, but she and her other friends and her magic powers sticks live happily ever after. So the point of that is create our own world. We make the world we live in with our thoughts and our feelings, and the things we repeat and the words that we choose create realities. And that is the most powerful thing I know to tell you other than to give you this question when you're uncertain. Ask yourself, what would I do if I weren't afraid? And then you'll know exactly what to do.

I think you just answered my, my last question of the podcast generally is, what, what would be a parting, piece of advice that you would give and that, that sounds like, that might have been it. let me ask one final question and then

don't think with your thumb.

don't think with your thumb, yes, that's not, that's a good, a reminder, but what we covered already. So, Dr. Margaret Cochran, the website is just that dr cochran.com, no spaces, no underscores or anything. A lot of information there on the Reese on, what services are available, how to contact you, what else can we find on your website. Is there anything else that we should point out?

not really, just kind of who I am, what I do and, and what options there are for you. I like to, I like to work with people. the nice thing about, the internet is that now I work with people all over the world

Oh, do you? Okay.

which is really fun. It's so fun. And, the other thing is because I use the title coach, then I'm not limited by, you know, like when I, if, if I'm, I'm a licensed clinical social worker, but I can only do that in the bounds of California

Right.

unfortunately we don't have reciprocal licensing in the United States. So you have to get licensed in each state, which is

Each state. Yeah.

anyway, that's the rule. So, but coaching I can do anywhere.

I have a feeling you, you'd probably meditate, or do some mindfulness practices. p perhaps you are, have certain physical activities you do, or, or certain things that from day to day in your morning stack, as we were discussed in a previous episode, that you would share with our listeners that they should consider or that have proven efficacy for, for people in their own self-development process.

Well, I teach something called Urban Gorilla Meditation, and I call it that because, because it's, most of us don't have time to sit for an hour, an hour and a half, you know, so it's, it's an abbreviated process, but, The important things for me and that I teach people are one, have a gratitude practice every single day, twice a day. Go through what you're grateful for. And it doesn't necessarily have to be anything huge. It can be your favorite purple dinosaur socks. Just, I'm, I'm so happy and grateful I have these socks. I'm so happy and grateful I got to be on your podcast. I'm so happy and grateful that you're such a lovely man. I'm so happy and grateful for all the people that we're reaching today. You know, that kind of thing. Now, what we know, again, we're back to brains. If you practice that over about 28 days, you literally rewire your brain. You become more resilient, your sleep improves, you have more frustration, tolerance, lots of good things. another one is, my work, my work is a spiritual practice for me. It's about giving back to the universe, and I consider it a sacred honor and a great joy. So my work is part of my pleasure. And then being with animals, of course,

Okay,

is a great joy. and also, absolutely physical exercise and eating foods that don't have names you can't pronounce in 'em.

there's more than five ingredients. Don't eat it right? Is that what they say?

Yeah.

An amazing conversation. Dr. Cochrane, thank you so much for your time. listeners, Dr. Margaret Cochrane. You can, check out her website at Dr. Cochrane, C-O-C-H-R-A-N, dr cochran.com. and Dr. Margaret, I hope, I, I hope you've enjoyed this session as much as I have because it's been very enlightening. There's so many things I think we could talk about. Perhaps we can, have a follow up episode, after some time has passed and, maybe our listeners have some questions that they want to drop in and we can refer to them later on.

I'd be delighted. Thank you so much. It was so much

Oh, fantastic. Fantastic. and that wraps up our episode for today. Thank you for joining us and we'll see you next week.