Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

experience. I'm your host Aurora, life coach and companion

here on this beautiful journey called life.

I hope you're doing well. I hope you feel safe and good and your

skin. I hope you feel hopeful. I hope you feel creative. I hope

you feel loved.

Isn't that what it's all about.

And if you don't feel that way, at the moment, don't beat

yourself up.

And I hope that was my episode, I can uplift your mood, I can

give you inspiration, I can make you feel less weird and alone.

And I can help you

feel better in the future.

First of all, I want to apologize. D deeply. Oh my god.

I forgot to post my episode yesterday. For some reason I was

on my old schedule of uploading and first record in my episode

on Fridays, and then it was 7pm in the evening. And some of you

know that I don't have Wi Fi or a telephone where I live in my

little house.

And I realized I did not produce an episode for you yesterday. So

I knew at that point that it's too late. It's the point of no

return.

And I just have to face it that I messed up.

So I deeply apologize to you for

not uploading an episode yesterday. And I made sure that

today I aligned everything so that I can upload it as soon as

possible. So one day later.

And what I realized last night when I knew okay, there's no

turning back, there's it's done. Mistake is made, I forgot

that back in my days where I felt really unstable, I would

have beaten myself up

to the point that I would have had a sleepless night

I would have felt so much shame so much regret

that

from an outside perspective, you would just think, oh my God,

that's pathetic. I mean, that's not a big deal. Yet you totally

beat yourself up and you lose sleep over it and you become

grumpy and nasty with the people around you. Because you feel so

much guilt and shame.

But yet, that was my experience. And you maybe know from your

experience that sometimes

you beat yourself up.

And the people around you don't really get it. Or they make it

even worse and make you feel even worse.

But some people might totally not be able to relate to your

pain in that moment. And this is when you have to learn to kind

of rein the demon in and to talk sense to yourself.

And to instead of focusing on what you messed up what what you

Yeah, did.

Maybe you hurt another person even.

Maybe, yeah, you let other people down. You're

disappointed. So not only you were involved in the mistake,

but other people around you.

But do you really serve other people that you disappointed by

beating yourself up?

And what I've learned in recent years is that no. It doesn't

help the other person who feels hurt or disappointed if you or

me. In this case, I'm beating myself up. Yes, a genuine

apology an apology from the heart

Start showing regret.

That's totally appropriate.

But everything that comes after that is self punishment.

And people take it to the nth degree, people accumulate so

much pain, suffering, shame, guilt,

that they become sick from that, that they totally withdraw from

society.

And all because they made one mistake. And again, if you are

in a situation,

you might feel that shame, that resentment towards yourself, and

you might think that it's a huge deal. And for other people, it

might be very difficult to see your pain or to understand your

pain, they see your pain, but they don't see.

Like for how long you carry that pain inside of yourself.

So I want to help you today in releasing that pain and letting

that pain go. And it doesn't matter what it is, like some

people more than other, really cling to the past and cling to

mistakes, where

they if you were to talk to the person who was disappointed at

you back then

most of the time, they would think and say what, like, that's

something that yeah, it was annoying at that time. But

that's over now. Like, I don't even think about this anymore.

And you're still

carrying pain around because of that mistake that you made

decades ago.

Yeah.

Some people are really built that way. They're so sensitive,

they're so worried to upset people. And they're not

forgiving with themselves. Because they feel that forgiving

mistakes that they've made in the past would mean that it

makes the mistake, okay?

And isn't that such bullshit.

To suffer longer, because you don't want to make the mistake

feel okay.

That's

such a waste of energy and time and feeling resourceful and

creative and loving, you really shut your heart out and down to

other people, by punishing yourself in that manner.

And I talk that assertively right now, because

this is who I was, this is who I still am. To some degree, I

don't forgive myself mistakes that I've made. And I'm still in

the process of learning that, okay, it's in the past. And in

the future, I'm going to do it differently. I'm going to

encounter a similar situation for sure, in the future, because

this is how the universe functions. Because it wants to

test you in a good way.

And I'm going to react differently, respond

differently. And this is where I was able to create a shift in my

mind, and this is what I want to share with you because all I

want to achieve with my podcast here with my stuff on Facebook

and Instagram is to reduce the suffering

especially the self induced suffering and people.

I want people to feel light and loved and, and good about

themselves. And yes, we make mistakes. And yes, you can feel

shitty about some mistakes that you've made. But then you also

have to move on and focus on the present. And know that by doing

that, you will positively influence the future

you make a mistake, you beat yourself up.

But then please know that you have to get yourself out of that

dynamic as soon as possible.

and focus on what is it that I want to do differently next

time?

Why did I make this mistake and not ponder too long and over

analyze too much, overthink too much. Like, don't focus on what

you don't want in the future, also in the present, but focus

on what you want.

Next time,

I want to respond in a calm way.

Next time, I want to take a couple of breaths before I

react.

Next time, I'm going to ask questions to clarify, before I

make assumptions.

Next time, I'm not going to multitask, I'm going to focus on

one task at a time and be really focused.

This kind of assertive, but uplifting talk

will help you to pull yourself out of that weird funk of

beating yourself up.

Because you know another phenomenon that happens when we

beat ourselves up. We're kind of stuck inside of ourselves. We're

stuck with our mind. We're stuck with.

Yeah, I don't know, trying to change trying to influence.

And all along we forget about the people around us that either

have nothing to do with the incidents, or everything to do

with the incidents. And we get so caught up with our mind that

we forget to ask, Hey, like, what's going on on your side of

the game?

How are you processing this? Can we move on from this?

Sometimes we beat ourselves up and don't really, really, yeah,

realize that we're becoming a hermit.

We don't want to engage with people as much anymore. Because

we still cling on to that past pain, that past mistakes that

we've made. We feel so much shame. And we don't trust

ourselves. We don't want to go out there again, and have other

people trust us and then know that we are very, very careful

to hurt people to disappoint people to let people down.

And it is that self trust that that I want to build on you

because you're so endlessly precious, you're so endlessly

worthy. And the people around you need you.

And you must ask authentic and loving way.

And it is okay to be a little bit different. We're all

different. And then embracing difference. We help people to

feel okay with their difference as well.

But in shutting down and beating ourselves up,

we create watts.

We keep energy stuck inside of ourselves. That energy needs to

be flowing and needs to get out.

We need to trust again. We need to connect again we need to talk

about our pain with the intention to move on to know

that yes, this is the pain that I was carrying for so long and I

want to let it go now. I want mother earth to swallow it down

to suck it up. And to process it and to turn beautiful flowers or

whatever creation to decides to do with with our mess.

Hope I'm not getting too spiritual here. But you get my

point you get my point. There's no way that you can live a happy

content life. If you're still beating yourself up for past

mistakes.

Let go of it. Forgive yourself. Know that you are most of the

time forgiven.

But most importantly, you have to forgive yourself

and know that you are inherently good and know that you have all

the resources, all the tools to be a decent person out there.

Thank you so much for listening to this episode. And again, I

apologize for not posting yesterday, it was not a bad

intention.

I deeply care about you.

And if I'm able to bring you value,

then I'd love to hear from you. I'd love to receive feedback,

honest feedback.

And to know what I can get better at what I can change or

if I'm on the right track. Sometimes I record my episodes

and you have to imagine it's just me and my record ng

equipment here. And I come up with a topic that I'm passionate

about to share with you.

But it's just me sitting here and talking and I hope ya find

the right words. I hope I

have value to you.

I'm wishing you a good rest of your day. Take really good carry

yourself.

And I will be out there on Monday again for you.

Bye bye