Ah, welcome in everybody! It's the Craft Beer Republic! Thanks for drinkin',
thanks for
joinin'. I am Greg, I am being joined by Captain Milwaukee, and that's Flexy.
What's up, buddy?
I like that name. Do you know what I'm thinking right now?
What are you thinking? That you're thirsty?
We need to, like, get a dialogue script of a Fraggle Rock episode, and then
just read
it off in our shitty Boston accent.
Wow, it's been a minute since we brought up the Van Duzas.
But actually, like, recite an entire episode. That just crossed my mind.
That's been so long!
For, like, two years.
Yeah, do we need to get Coley back in here and just find a Fraggle Rock script?
That'd be great.
Yeah.
I would never put the episode out there.
No, just a half an hour of us and Fraggle Rock and no one can ever hear it. I
keep threatening
it, and I don't even know if I still have the files anymore at this point.
I bet you do.
Yeah. Who do you want? I want to be, uh, Gobo.
Is that the guy with the orange hair and the no eyes?
I don't know. He was the only name I could come up with.
Oh, and Red. Gobo Red.
Red's the guy with the orange hair, then.
Yeah. Of course, Sprocket's the dog.
Yeah.
Sprocket.
Anywho.
Yeah. Yeah. But yeah. So, yeah, I don't know, it just randomly popped into my
head.
Yeah, I like that. It's been a minute.
Follow the Van Duzas at Craft Beer Republic, and of course, flex me a beer
underscores.
In between.
It's me.
That is you, Mr. Flexy Van Duzer. We've got quite the show for you. Got some
beers to
tell you about. Mine comes from a trip. We have a voicemail from the Fontana
Gym.
What's he on about this time?
Oh, he's angry at me. We will get to that. Some ludicrous libation law, booze
news, and
so much more. If you guys don't mind, I'm going to crack open a beer because it
's going
to lead into my story about a trip. Oh yeah. You know I'm going to love this
one. Do you
know what this is just based off the can art?
It's at Alaskan Brewery.
Now, sorry, denied. I am drinking. What's it called? Anchorage? No, it's not
that. No,
no, no. I am drinking. There does not exist. Spirit Molecule. 6.6% has a 396,
only 168
proteins. It is a hazy IPA. They say Spirit Molecule is a center of the
universe style
hazy IPA brewed with all the oats and wheat plus DMT. Just kidding, dude. There
is absolutely
zero DMT in this beer, even if it makes you feel like it. Hopped at life
changing levels
with Citra, Cashmere, Comet, Nelson, and a touch of Columbus Cryo. It's got all
the heavy
overripe tropical fruit you could want. Plus some dank hippie lettuce to
balance. Go ahead,
friend. Take the trip. We're here for you.
Been hanging out with the writers at Stone. On the schnoz, a lot of that
tropical fruit
they reference. Like some ripe mango. Maybe some peach in there, a little bit
of dankness.
Let's do the real work here and stick in the old tongue job. Dig right in. Okay
, so the
tropical fruit is delicious. And here's where Flex would get a little hard on.
Got a little
bit of that hot burn after the tropics. I'm a little bit hard on. A little semi
going
on, a little half chup. And then it finishes off a little dank and it just
coats the tongue
with that sticky icky. Man, I love me some hot burny dank IPAs. Yeah, it is
good. As
you can see, it is a proper hazy. It is gorgeous. It's leaving quite the lacing
. Yeah, some
great lacing. It's oowee as they say. So of course I took a little trip up
north-ish and
went wakeboarding, but had to stop in at There Does Not Exist. Naturally. Yeah,
we had the
day off. We took a day off. We were going to go on the lake a day early to
avoid the
crowds going on on Friday, but we were going up to my sister's house to go wake
boarding
with her and her husband. Did you know she got married? Yeah. Not very well
known. And
she had to work that day instead. So we just went up, made our way up there,
stopped at
There Does Not Exist and had a beverage. You know what? We're so cheap. We
stopped at Costco,
which is not too far. And we got gas and some hot dogs. No, some hot dogs. And
we took the
hot dogs order. There Does Not Exist and had lunch and beer because they don't
have food
there. Oh, hey, that is well, it's great. Yeah, worked out well. So then went
up, got
some wakeboarding in. Oh my God, I totally forgot about this story until just
now. So
we got some wakeboarding on Friday night when we got up there. We didn't wake
board on Friday.
We did a little wine tasting. You know, we're wine club members at a bunch of
places, so
between all of them. Kind of a big deal. Kind of a big deal. I got badges and
shit. Between
the two groups, the two couples, we can do some pretty good free drinking
around town
where she lives in Paso. And we had a couple of wine tastings. We're not, you
know, we're
not drunk by any stretch. We hit up the grocery store to get some dinner to
take back and
make. And I was like, oh, let's get a couple bottles of wine to cap off the
night. I shit
you not, I'm walking back to the car. The wife stayed in the car because we had
dog with us. And she said something out the window like, oh, you got wine. And
I went,
oh yeah. And I raised the bottles up in the air. Like, yeah, I got wine. I
dropped one.
Oh no. Shattered all over the parking lot. No man. It just, it looked like a
fucking
murder scene. So I, I actually picked it up. I was like, I felt so bad. I was
like, I don't
want a car to run over this and pop their tires or something. So what a great
human
you are. I picked it all up, threw it away. Uh, some dude and his Tesla was
watching the
entire thing. I was so embarrassed. I feel like such a fucking, I wasn't even
drunk.
Accidents happen. I know. I feel like a dumb shit, but uh, yeah. Also alcohol
abuse. There's
the bottle of wine sitting on the parking lot. Now you lick any of it up and a
little
Zamboni action, gross. Oh, so pissed. And then, uh, next day, well next two
days, Saturday
and Sunday did some wakeboarding. Um, as this episode drops, I don't, I think I
've posted
it already. Uh, I did try to do a little photo shoot out on the wakeboard with
a beer. No
way. I thought that'd be funny for the Graham, uh, brought out a, um, fuck,
what was it?
Humble C. I brought out a humble C that I just found in the fridge. And I was
trying
to figure out like, how am I going to get up on this wakeboard one handed?
Cause I'm,
you know, I'm strong, but not that strong. And plus I was so, it was so tired
as the
last run of the day. So I ended up like tucking it in my life vest, which was
very cold. And
I got up, pulled it out. So hard. So at this point, like once I'm up out of the
water,
like I've, you know, I'm one handing the rope. In fact, I've got it like in the
crux of my
elbow. I'm just hanging on the handle that way. I'm opening the can, I'm
drinking it.
Uh, it was like a two year old beer that I just found in the back of the fridge
. And
it was supposed to be a hazy IPA at that point. Like all the Hayes had dropped.
And this is
not a shot at humble Z cause I love their, their murkies. They're great. But,
um, we're
foggy fog. He's right. Yeah. They're great. But, uh, it did not age. Well, it
was definitely
a dino and I'm out there and I didn't realize how old it was. So afterwards I
looked at
the date and, uh, I go to take my first sip as a weight board and I'm like,
yeah, here
we go. And I like go to fucking pound it. I was like, but like I was spinning
out dust.
Yeah. I was not expecting that level of bitterness cause it said, Hey, or a fog
gy on the front
of the can. I was like, Oh God. Oh man. That's hilarious. Yeah. So if you haven
't seen it,
go check the gram for photos of me pretending I was drinking the beer, uh,
while wakeboarding.
I'd never done that before. And it was, uh, it was an experience, something you
put on your resume now. Exactly. My alcoholic resume and now includes wake
boarding one handed
while drinking a beer. So I'm still working on a, I don't know if I ever told
you I got
a long board for father's day. Oh yeah. You did tell me that. Yeah. So, uh, I
know maple
wood brewing and Illinois, they have a beer called sidewalk surfer. I might
even had it
on the show once. And, uh, my goal is to drink this beer. We'll long boarding.
We need to
make it happen. And I feel like that would be like the coolest thing ever. Yeah
. Yeah.
Put it in your life vest first. That's what, well, or like a helmet. Yeah.
Something like
that. Yeah. But that's what your story reminded me of is I eventually got to do
this, but
I'm so scared. I'm looking. Did you ever, you did have sidewalk surfer batch
three 61
about a year ago. Yeah. Sounds about right. Really good beer. Yeah. Um, so yeah
, so that
was fun. God poured beer at one point. Like I got back in the boat and the wife
's like,
I thought she goes, why are you pouring beer all over yourself? Like I thought
you were
doing some wrestling, like, or not pouring, but like spitting beer out. She's
like, why
are you spitting the beer out? Were you doing like some wrestling thing? I was
like, no,
I took a giant fucking drink and was very surprised that what ended up in my
mouth.
That's what she said. The fact that your wife is like, Oh, he, he went on his
wake board
and he did a triple H impression. She doesn't know enough to know that it was a
triple H
impression, but it says a lot about you though. I thought you were doing a
wrestling thing.
I mean, who says I wasn't, that's the best part of the whole story. I am the
game. It's
all about the game. Oh man. Yeah. Good times. Good times. Check out the gram at
crappy Republic
for me trying to chug this very old, not fresh. I can't wait. Yeah. Uh, before
I forget top
listening city of last week, Minkler, California as a native Californian. I've
never heard
of it before. I had to look it up. I know nothing about California. It's hot.
It's very
hot, especially in Southern. Uh, Minkler apparently is like 20 miles East of
Fresno.
So thanks Minkler for Fres. Yeah.
No, take that out of the show. That was horrible. Edit point. Also, I want to
give a shout out.
This is a weird one to Romania. You know how we're always topping the charts in
Finland.
Constantly. Yeah. We topped some Romanian podcast charts last couple of weeks.
is happening? Yeah. It's very weird. Like a couple of episodes charted as well
as the
show overall. Um, so Hey Romania, if you're listening, thanks for listening.
That's kind
of cool. Um, I don't know. I'm trying to figure it out. Do you ever see Roman
ians? It just
makes me think of, uh, the movie Eurotrip. I love Eurotrip. And it's such a
cult classic
for me. Uh, but when they go to like Eastern Europe and everybody is like 20
years behind
the times, you know, and the ladies wearing like the where, or the guy comes
out and he's
like, Hey, where's the beef? You know, he's like, Miami Vice, number one, new
show just
makes me think that there's some kind of like time warp where it's just like
crappy Republic.
It's like the number one podcast. There's still listening to episode three over
there.
Crappy Republic. Number one, new show. I hope that's what's happening over
there. Hopefully.
Yeah. So Hey Romania, what's up? But not to, you know, overshadow. Hi Finland.
Still love
you guys too. I will do some Romanian deadlifts. So in, in lieu of this
accomplishment, that's
very, um, commending commendable of you. It's a real exercise, Greg. I totally
believe you.
I lift weights all the time. Clearly, clearly do. Yeah. It shows in my fat face
and your
one handed wakeboarding skills. Yeah, exactly. Nailed it. Yeah. This, this
world trip is
really shaping up. We've got Finland, uh, Romania. Was it South Korea I think
was charting
a few weeks ago. Yeah. We got a certain itinerary. Yeah. Let's gas up the jet.
You got a jet?
No. Probably closer to jets than I am. I don't know. Erica's married to a
surgeon. We dreamy.
I wonder if he's got a jet. He's got a good money, right? Got to get places
fast to do
her. He's got to cut people open and shit. He's got money and has to be places
fast.
I guarantee he has a jet. Erica, are you holding out on us? It dream. He's got
a jet, right?
Show us the jet. Show us the jet. Oh gosh. Have you done any local research
since you're
at St. Louis trip? You still drinking St. Louis beers? Still drinking all the
St. Louis
beers. Um, yeah, I haven't, uh, got out too much locally. I'm kind of a loser.
Um, I wouldn't
do that. I won't. No. But, uh, yeah, just a ton. I actually brought home way
more St.
Louis beer than I was expecting. Um, then a problem. No, I was, I was actually
like happy
about it. Oh, okay. Good. You know, or it was like a couple breweries we
stopped at,
you know, took them to go and then a couple of times we had to stop at a, I
love their
grocery store name by the way. Um, it's called Schnucks. All right. Um, it's
just a goofy
ass name, right? And every time we had to pass a Schnucks, my kids were like,
Hey dad,
Schnucks, you know, uh, Schnucks, but their beer selection was always pretty
solid and
I'm very Midwestern. Yes. Um, so when I'm in a foreign land or land of St.
Louis, um,
I'm very, uh, very talkative, right? Oh, I'm always trying to talk to the
locals, chat
up the, uh, cash register person. Or so we were, we was in the beer aisle and
it's, uh,
it's in the middle of the store. Like as if there was, it was like a frozen
food department.
Okay. And, uh, there's a couple of beer vendors that are filling up their stuff
and it was,
uh, eight 30 in the morning, which here you can't buy alcohol till nine. Really
? In Wisconsin?
Yeah. That's surprising. It's like a huge ordinance. Can't buy alcohol till 9am
. But
they don't cut you off till 8am. Well, when we had the RNC here, a lot of
people were
staying open till 4am. Oh, is that a big deal? 4am? Yeah. What can bar closes 2
am here? Yeah.
Bar closes at 2am, last call at 1.30am. Yeah. Some places downtown were staying
open till
like 4am. Do they have to get like special permits for that? Do I look like a
city councilman?
Uh, I mean the glasses make you look smart. Okay. Fair enough. Um, and I'm not,
but anyway,
I was talking to the guys and they didn't seem like they wanted any part of it.
And
I was like, you know, I had like an armful of beer and I was like, Hey, can I
like buy
this now? And they just kind of looked at me like, what? And I said, Oh, I said
, well,
in Wisconsin I said, we can't buy alcohol until after 9am. You know, it is 830
and they're
like, Oh yeah. They're like, I'm pretty sure there's like, it's ordinance by
County, but
they're like, I don't think that's a thing. So I'm sure it's not. If I went to
the register
and bought like five packs of alcohol, I'll take five alcohols, please. Beer is
not alcohol.
Um, I guess I, right. As proven by John Candy. Thank you. John Candy. Yes. Who
didn't know
what a dry County was. Yeah, that's great. Those Canadians do it right. That
was funny.
I also heard another Canadian story that at the store, I don't know if it still
exists,
but this is like a story from the nineties when you go to buy a Tylenol, it's
not Tylenol.
It's actually coding. Come on. Yeah. David Spade was talking about this on his
podcast.
He's like, I didn't know I was getting so high. I just had a headache. He's
buying all
his Cody and popping like four at a time. Oh, that was Tylenol. Yeah. Wild.
Yeah. So,
uh, yeah. They don't know what a dry County is and you can just get Cody and
over the
counter. Like it's no big deal. Where, where was that? We should go up north.
Oh man. We
go up North here. Yeah. Yeah. Let's go. Well, while we're talking about St.
Louis and buying
beers, let's just, let's just fucking get right into it. Thanks in a world wher
e craft
is drinking. Well, hello everybody. Uh, so today, yeah. So I'm drinking St.
Louis beer.
Like I said, last week I stopped at four hands brewing and they're about 30
blocks South
of Bush stadium Bush where the Cardinals play. And, uh, I bought a scale of
complexity, which
looking at them up on, on, on tapped, I didn't realize it was like a series. Oh
, so this
is kind of neat. It's a hazy IPA series and it seems that they do like a single
hop in
it. Oh, I like that. I was lucky enough to come across the cashmere hop. Oh
fuck. Yes.
Yeah. I, I, again, I saw this beer. You're the first person I thought of. I
know how
you feel about cashmere hops. Very hard. Um, so, uh, apparently it must be
relatively new
or people just haven't rated it, but only 201 chickens. Okay. So maybe I got
some fresh
of the fresh and those St. Louis are like fucking cashmere again. Who needs it?
Uh,
but it did three, eight, six rating. Okay. So, you know, still respectable for
whatever
above average 201 ratings. Yeah. It says scale of complexity. Cashmere, the 10
th in our rotating
series of hazy IPAs is heavily dry hopped with cashmere hops resulting in a
beer with
lower bitterness, but massive aromas and flavors of zesty lime, ripe berries
and lemon peel.
So I'm going to tell you what, Greg, tell me, crack the can. And I always sniff
. Do
you sniff the can after you crack it or do you wait to pour it before you, um,
I generally
wait till it's been poured, I would say. Okay. So I always smell after cracking
the can.
Okay. To then see if there's anything to differentiate from can to pour. Hmm.
Right. Okay. I find
that my nose isn't that great, so I need my wide open glass in order to fucking
smell.
Don't do that to yourself. I like your stuff. You have a great nose. Oh, thanks
. It's wonderful.
So I crack the can and I pick up a lot of malt character. Hmm. Right. So I'm
disappointed.
Immediately I'm disappointed. Right? Like where's this going? So then I pour
the beer
out. Boy, I pick up on a lot of malt character again, Greg. I'm starting to
lose it. I am
starting to lose my fucking mind. Right. So then we warm up the old tongue jab
ber. Oh
yeah. Never gets old, even though it probably should. Here's where it gets me.
It says it's
got like the lime flavor, the berry, the lemon peel. It comes through in the
flavor. Oh,
like it's wild. There's a little bit of, of malt character, uh, like in the
background.
Like an appropriate amount. Right. It doesn't overpower what it is. Um, and it
says it is
a hazy IPA and it's hazy. It's 6.5%. So it's, it's a little bit on the lighter
side, but
this is, it is what it is. Like it's what they tell you it is. So it super
solid beer.
They did a good job on it. I don't know why there's so much malt on the aroma,
but yeah,
the flavors come through and it's, it's not as juicy as I would prefer a hazy.
Okay. But
it is a, it's a good beer. I would drink this beer again. I have had this beer
before the
show so I have had it again. Right. Um, I would have it again and again. How
did the
St. Louis beers stack up to your algorithm? How was the pricing down there? Oh
shit, man.
I forgot to tell you about this shit. By the way, if you ever heard about Flex
's trip last
week, we talk all about it. So I, the first time I bought beer at or in St.
Louis was
at four hands and I grabbed two, four packs there. I grabbed a hoodie and then
I had a
beer and then we bought like some french fries and tater tots and shit for the
kids. And
it was like the whole bill was like 70 bucks. The sweatshirt was only like 30.
Holy shit.
I'm just like, what's happening here? Sweatshirts out here like 70 bucks. Yeah.
No, believe
me when I got the receipt and I was just like, Oh holy shit, I would have
bought two. They
forgot something. So then, um, I didn't even look at the price of the four
packs, right?
I'm just kind of like, okay, this is kind of weird. Then, uh, we stopped at one
of these
schnucks one morning we were heading out to the Purina pet farm that they have
out there,
which is kind of, it was, it was neat. I didn't talk about it last week, but
they like train
the dogs and they have like this whole dog show and like the agility thing and
the pool
diving shit like you. I didn't know they had that out there. Yeah, it's crazy.
It was really
neat. That's a lot of headquarters in St. Louis. I figured out, well now I can
absolutely
convince the wife to go between the Budweiser Clydesdales and the Purina farm
and this is
a no brainer. Yeah. And pretty solid beer. So then, so we stopped at one of
these schnucks
and I'm perusing the beer aisle, you know, and I talked to the guys and um,
they were
kind of rude, but, uh, I'm pulling out some beers and I had to get out someone
tapped
on some and just, you know, cause I wasn't familiar with too many of the brewer
ies. Sure.
So I bought this four pack, uh, from second shift. I've never heard of second
shift. I
think I've heard of third shift. I think I've had second shift via Tavor. So I
got this
triple dry hopped double IPA. It was 8% 12 and 99 for a four back for a four
back. So
then Tavor is ripping us off. It's like that much for a beer. Jesus. So then I
told you
I found that, uh, maybe I didn't tell you on air. Um, I found the volume. We,
we have
a, I had a couple of these Voltron series. Oh yeah. We were talking about the
forehands
and uh, they collab with the brewery and uh, five Voltron bots, five beers.
Well I found
the series five at this Schnucks. I'm just going to keep saying that. And it
was a collab
with tripping animals. Again, it's like a hazy IPA. They use, I think it was
like Nelson
and something else. And I'm, I'm a whore for Nelson and I'm also a whore for
these Voltron
series. Um, I think it's like 7% and it was like 1199, 1299. Okay. And I'm just
like,
if I lived in St. Louis, their beer prices are amazing. Yeah. And they fit the
algorithm
perfectly. I'll send you a picture of the second shift can too. It looks wild.
Just
really well done. A little bit of abstract but simple at the same time. And uh,
yeah,
I guess St. Louis kills it with the beer price. Well, and that's pretty good
for you to say
because sometimes you talk about four pack prices in your hood. I'm like, that
's it for
four. Are you sure you didn't just buy two? Right, right. So it's clearly
different, um,
you know, from here to you. But I always thought it was really good here. Like
for most of
the stuff we have, apparently it's better in St. Louis. I wonder if they have
to compete
with like Budweiser prices. So that also crossed my mind as well because when I
stopped at
heavy riff and I was talking to the wonderful beer tenders there, I said, Hey,
I said, you
guys distribute at all, you know, cause I just, I was pissed. I couldn't spend
enough
time there. So I just want to have more, more of their beers. Makes sense. And
they said,
uh, no, they said getting distribution around here is kind of hard. And I said,
yeah, I
said, I bet a and B doesn't make it easy on anybody. And one of the guys was
like, no,
they don't. I can't say anything too loud because we're bugged, but they don't.
Yeah.
So that, uh, it's a shame. It is a shame. It's a shame. It makes me wonder how
four
hands finds their way. Cause they, you know, they, we had the Voltron beers a
couple of
times out here. I've seen one other of their beers and a total wine, but well,
and not
to get too nerdy, but Budweiser also has a distribution arm that is separate
from, you
know, beer or like the beer making arm. Okay. So in theory, I think you could
distribute
with Budweiser, but not be owned by Budweiser. Interesting. So if you could
convince them
to carry your shit, then you might actually get some shelf space. I did not
know that
like stone when stone sold Sapporo only bought the brewery. The distribution
side of stone
was a separate business and they still exist and they distribute. Now the funny
thing is
they still distribute stone, but they also distribute some local stuff around
me like
tarantula Hill made West Enneagrin. They're all distributed by stone
distribution. Interesting.
Yeah. It's, it's fucking weird. The whole like distributing and three tier
system and
all that shit. It's weird. It's all Budweiser's fault too. Again, that's all I
could think
of when I was there. Yeah. Thanks to prohibition. All right. Before we hear
from Fontana gym
and how angry he is at me real quick, got to mention magic mind. We've been
talking
about them for a while. Add them to your morning routine. Have a cup of Joe,
have a magic mind.
You'll probably need less Joe and we all know we're tired of Joe. Actually I
love coffee.
But anyways, I take it. It's easy. It's one little shot. It's green. It's
surprisingly
pretty tasty. I think you can attest to that. I will attest it is not bad. Uh,
it takes
about half a second to drink this thing. Yeah. Um, then it works. If it takes
more than that,
then you need to work on your drinking skills. Oh, you need to work on maybe a
lifestyle
change. It's a very small, like I think it's like two ounces. It was a nice
little shot
in the morning with your coffee. Uh, helps the coffee last longer. I don't find
that
I'm reaching for energy drinks, you know, around one or two o'clock in the
afternoon.
Just keeps me going a little bit longer on that. I talked about this last week.
my performance enhancing drug when it comes to trivia night. I do not miss my
magic mind
when I'm doing trivia that night. Otherwise Deb and intern Brian may fire me
from the
team. I believe it. Yeah, they're, they're the best. Like they're so much
better than
we are. They're so fucking smart with the trivias. But uh, anyways, magic mind
helps
me not look stupid around Deb and Brian trivia. Yeah. Trivia, which is
fantastic. I know it's
helped you with your, uh, your memory stuff. Yeah. I feel like it, it really
clears out
your headspace. Um, it dials you in. Yeah. The focus. Uh, don't forget your
lunch. It's
there. You don't forget the lunch. I now, um, yeah, no, I, you know, I'm always
skeptical
about, uh, natural products, right? We're in the age of modern medicine, right?
Yeah.
You put a bunch of plants in something who knows, right? So, you know, the
holistic to
all natural, always skeptical about it. Elixirs, if you will. Right. Uh, this
stuff does it.
Yeah. I enjoy it. I actually do. Um, they sold, they sold me. Yeah. I like that
. There's
no sugar. You know, me, no carbs, except for rear, uh, which is a lot of carbs,
all
natural ingredients, keto friendly, not free vegan, paleo friendly. Like I said
, no sugar
has matcha in it, which seems to be the, the, the main flavor is, is macho,
which is definitely
not a bad thing. Not a bad thing at all. Not a bad thing at all. Uh, so anyways
, I mean,
this sounds good to you. Sounds like something you need a little more focus or
a little memory
or you will try and not have four cups of coffee like me every day. I'm trying
to keep
it down to like two or spend $8 at Starbucks every morning. Oh gosh. That's
another story.
I was about to go on a whole Starbucks rant. We'll save that. Uh, just have
some magic
mind and say, if you go to magic mind.com/craft beer and use our code craft
beer 20, you get
up to 48% off your first subscription, 48%. You know, that is, that's almost
half. That
is almost 50%. Almost half right there. Or 20% off a one-time purchase. If you
just want
to give it a try and they, they even have a money back guarantee, a hundred
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money back, no questions asked. You have a hundred days to try it. If you don't
like
it, you let them know they give you a little refund. So magic mind.com/craft
beer, no Republic
and craft beer 20 is the code to use. All right, we've been teasing this. I
think it's
time to find out why Fontana Jim is mad at me. Cause you're a nice guy. I don't
know
what you could do to anybody to make them upset. I do appreciate that, but I'll
be,
I should just play it, but I will be honest. He has a fairly valid point here.
So here
is Fontana Jim. Hello, no one is available to take your call. Please leave a
message
after the tone. Hey, listen to all you nuggets. This is Fontana Jim calling in.
Look, I got
a bunch of, a bunch of advice and a bunch of ways to tell you knuckleheads how
to drive.
I'm going to save that for another call right now. I need to address, um, idiot
founder,
Greg, Greg, we've heard you pissing and moaning about, Oh, I need to do a, I
need to do a
beer. And I need to stop drinking beer because I'm becoming a big old giant
fucking fat ass.
And when I drink seltzer, I tend to lose weight. I just don't know what to make
Look, you've talked about how you've got flavor people in your world, in your
universe. If
not GTF, baby, Google that shit, figure it out. I will give you the keywords.
Google
it. Beer flavoring. If you Google those two fucking words, you'll get five, six
companies.
And then, well, what should we do for flavors? I don't know what, how about you
make them
non beer flavors? Your big knucklehead. How about green apple? Green apple is
an off flavor
in beer. How about you make a seltzer with green apple? Even better. How about
you make
a bear favorite? How about a candy apple? How about a caramel apple? That's
right. Buttery
caramel green apple. Perfect seltzer flavor. Perfect for summer. Exactly. All
those kind
of bad flavors that go into beer. How about you do that, you big giant clown?
You big
giant clown. That would be a nice seltzer. Put it in a candy apple. Pour it
over ice.
You ain't Greg, big knucklehead. Fontana Gym, check it out. You big, big clown.
It's Di-acetaldehyde.
I fucking know. I'm the Fontana Gym. He had to call back and let us know that
he could
actually pronounce shit. Holy shit. By the way, did it not sound like that?
Maybe Fontana
Gym was a little bit from West Virginia. It got a little bit of West Virginia.
Yeah. I
think he's just so loud. Yeah. I got a little bit of that in there in a couple
of points.
He was really getting after you. Apparently I have grinded his gears. I have
not done
the whole brewing a seltzer. Like I said, I might, first of all, I said, I
might Fontana
Gym not wood. Yeah. You big clown. Yeah. You knucklehead. Here's the thing.
Green apple
sounds fucking horrible. It's the worst flavor in the world. It sounds like the
only flavor
I would never drink. It's the first vodka flavor I ever threw up on. That's a
lie, but
it's the vodka flavor I threw up the most on. That tracks. Yeah. That sounds
horrible.
I do not want green apple seltzer. No. Caramel apple seltzer. Better. Better
caramel apple
beer. It was delicious. Oh, okay. Did you have caramel apple or apple Bud Light
seltzer
in there when you lost? Oh no. I think it was just apple. Oh okay. Apple,
pumpkin, marshmallow
and pear. Wow. You took your magic mind today. I think that's what they were.
Wow. Yeah.
When you lost and Mel sent you the world's worst fucking package of alcohol. Pl
aid cans.
Oh, it's garbage. Um, yeah. You know, uh, Fontana Gym, how about you come back
with
some good flavors? How about that? You knucklehead. Nobody wants a green apple
seltzer. Yeah.
Wow. What's your favorite Jolly Rancher flavor? Mine was watermelon. Cherry.
Cherry. I should
do either. This is like before the blue raspberry shit too. Like what were the
originals? It
was lemon, green apple, cherry, watermelon and grape. That's all I know. I don
't eat
that shit anymore. I don't know the new fancy flavors. So to me, watermelon is
the, the
creme de la creme. The cherry was just, it was like sweet and tart as a candy.
It was
perfect. Maybe I should do one of those. Well, I already have a cherry seltzer.
Maybe I should
do a watermelon. Oh my God. Have you had the high noon watermelons? I think I
talked about
it on the show. They're terrible. Oh, fucking garbage. Yeah. Had one at a pool
party last
year. Yeah. Oh, my sister had some, she clearly listens to church like, Hey,
you want to high
noon and hands me a watermelon. You know, she didn't go fuck yourself. Yeah,
exactly.
She's not dumb ass. I'm sorry. She's maybe, maybe a big clown or knucklehead or
knucklehead.
Yeah. I appreciate it. Such a great job at keeping things PG. It's true. Yeah.
You could
call me a fucking idiot or something like that, but instead it was knucklehead.
Brilliant. Yeah. Very, very good there. I don't five. Respectful man. What a
respectful
angry asshole. 8 0 5 5 3 beer. That's 2 3 3 7. Thank you. Fontana gym for
calling me
out. Uh, one of these, I got to talk to Nick formerly of from current and now
works for
the flavor company and uh, yeah, I'm ready. So I got to get some, maybe I could
be the
one that makes a good watermelon. Maybe that'll be my claim to fame. Good
watermelon seltzer.
Oh yeah. At that point I guess Nick would really deserve the credit. Not me to
be continued.
Well, the, the company, well the guy I'm already would deserve the credit. So
yeah. Anywho,
well now I'm interested in what you're going to do. Maybe I will do something.
I haven't
brewed anything forever. Why not? Why not fucking do a seltzer? What the hell?
I should
research that. I got an empty, I got two empty keg spots on my kegerator. It's
a problem.
It is put something in those like a seltzer, like a goddamn seltzer. Put a red
nose on
the keg tab. A red nose. Yeah. So you remind yourself, uh, you're a big fucking
clown.
Not a big fist to remind me of a knucklehead. I like it. All right. Little
Chris libation
law. This one comes from Wyoming. No junk dealer may do business with a drunk
person.
No what? Junk dealer. Is that a normal thing in Wyoming? I did not know that
was an occupation,
but apparently in Wyoming it is. If you're going to deal some junk, what'd you
go to
school for? Junk dealer. You junk dealing son of a bitch. Imagine getting home
from
a long weeks of work and your wife's like, Oh, what's wrong, honey? Oh, just
dealt so
much junk this week. I don't know if I could deal any more junk or you go to
the doctor's
office and there was for whatever reason the doctor always asked your
occupation when you're
filling out your forms, you know, an age high occupation, junk dealer, junk
dealer in Wyoming.
It's just the boxer junk dealer or other. It's like the most popular occupation
. Junk
dealer, rancher, other. It's all they got. Unreal. Yeah. So don't be drinking
if you're
going to do some junk deal. Maybe they just did that so they could come up with
like a,
there's gotta be a fun rhyme for that. Like if you're junking, you better not
be drunken
or something. Don't be drunk when you deal the junk. That's brilliant. Yeah.
Clearly
a poet, a moron. And I couldn't think of something so simple. Oh, I got your
back. It's what
a good cohost does. Yeah. Uh, let's do a little news before we get up out of
here. You know,
a few weeks ago we were talking about how hop acreage has declined right in
recent years.
Well, the 2023 global hop production is up 11 and a half percent despite, well,
good
thing it's 2024 though. Well, you know, they don't, they're never up to date.
It's always
year by year. But despite the shrinkage, if you will, of acreage, there's still
higher
hop production. Global hop acreage declined 3.3% in 2023 versus 22 the second
consecutive
year of decline in a significantly sharper reduction versus the year before.
approximately 149,847 acres of hop cultivation area across the globe. Big
number in 2023,
a decline of 5,000 acres compared to 2022. So once again, acreage down hops up.
Well,
speaking of shrinkage, I did drink a beer. I drank a beer called shrinkage. Oh,
and on
the bottom of the can it said, uh, I was in the pool. I thought that was
hilarious. That's
pretty good. But that was the best part of the beer. I like that. The beer
itself. Not
so great. No, it, uh, poured it out and it's, it smelled like, uh, like a lit
firework.
Ew. What kind of beer was it? What type? It was a cold IPA. Doesn't sound like
it. It
was not great. Oof. Yeah. Not what they're supposed to smell like. No, it was,
it was
not good. Sounds like it was like a Roush beer or something. It, it just tasted
like
firework. Good. Yeah, it did. Like the aroma went to the pallet a little bit.
Oh, it really
tasted like that. And then you'd be like, Oh, now there's a little bit of
orange and
burnt orange. Yeah, it was gross. I won't name the brewery. It was a Wisconsin
brewery,
but that's fair. Sounds awful. All you gotta do is look up the beer shrinkage
though. I
like the can though. The can sounds fun. Yeah. The label, like the, the whole
art could have
been better on it too, but I didn't buy it. Was at a party and it was there and
that's
fair. Yeah. All right. Hey, if I were to say to you, what's the number one beer
in Texas?
What would you say? Shiner mock overall, not, not just craft overall beer. Oh,
overall beer.
Sheesh. Overall beer in Texas. I feel like this is a trick question. I mean,
the answer
is a beer. So it's in that way, it's not a trick question. All right. Big, it's
big beer.
It is big beer. It's big beer. Uh, let's go weird with like Michelob ultra. I
like that
you went weird. You're wrong, but I liked that you went weird. That that was
better
than just saying like Budweiser or something like that. Dos Equis is the number
one on
premise beer in Texas tap handle on premise beer in Texas. I know. Can USA's
Dos Equis
import brand is number one beer on prem with 10.2% total share and top handle
in the state
by dollar sales. I don't know. That's weird. Well, and I, and I actually
learned something
besides the fact that Texas loves shitty Mexican beers. I did not know that Dos
Equis was owned
by Heineken. I guess I thought they were blue Anheuser-Busch or something. I
guess I didn't
know. I didn't really know who owned them really. And apparently it's Heineken.
So that
tracks. Yeah. Dos Equis is like my least favorite Mexican German beer. Yeah. I
mean, I've said
it a million times. If I'm going, you know, cheap Mexican beer, probably like
Pacifico,
maybe a Modelo or definitely mode. I can't say it. Modelo, Modelo, Modelo, not
Modelo.
I find myself now sometimes saying because of you Modelo. I just, when I talk
on this,
I just, I don't want to get made fun of anymore. Sorry, bud. Oh, I can't help
myself. Yeah.
We'll end it with this one. A Kent state professor was arrested after an
alleged drunken 911 phone
call and argument over whether she can drive drunk. Come on. A Kent state
university professor
was arrested after calling 911 to tell police that she was locked out of a
building and had
to use the restroom and later argued with officers over whether she was intox
icated
during an initial 911 call. Dr. Ellen Glickman director of the school of health
sciences.
You would think that'd be a smart person uses an expletive to tell the dispatch
She needs to get into her building later telling another dispatcher. She has to
use the bathroom.
She says, can you do it immediately during the call attempting to get officers
on site quickly.
The officer that arrived allowed Glickman into the building to use the restroom
asking her to call for a ride. Glickman denied being intoxicated and insisted
that she could
drive her Tesla home multiple times before threatening to call the officer's
captain.
I think I'm okay. I have a Tesla. Glickman said, just because you have a Tesla
doesn't mean it's
going to drive itself. The officer said Glickman was eventually taken into
custody and charged with
disorderly conduct by disorderly conduct by intoxicated. I've never even heard
of that,
which was later dismissed after court documents show she paid court costs and
completed community
service. But I love that. I have a Tesla. I'm fine. Do they not drive
themselves? I mean,
that's the thing. Like I I'm with her. Like, I know that was a, when you, when
she said that,
the first thought that crossed my mind was, Hey, that sounded bad idea.
Yeah. Like I know the whole thing is like, you, you still need to be sober
in quotes when you drive your Tesla. It's like, if it drives itself, it fucking
drives itself.
People. Hmm. Yeah. I'm okay with it. People are afraid of self-driving cars. Oh
,
they hit one other car. It's like, yeah, people hit cars all the fucking time.
I am terrified about self-driving cars, but doesn't bother me. Well, you're a
tech guy.
Well, just the accident. I don't know. Ratio is way less than humans.
You know, if you check out the stats, well, if there's statistics, you know,
then
that makes it okay. Right. Anyways. So, uh, it's a numbers game. It's a no
survival of the numberist. Um, I hope everyone stays hydrated out there. I'm
going to hit some
music and say, go get drunk and driving your Teslas. And hi Vanessa. And I, Oh
yeah. Hi.
I don't think we did, but we did just now. What a long night. It really has. Uh
, here we go.
Make sure you check us out at craft beer public. And of course at flex me a
beer
underscores in between eight Oh five, five, three beer is the number to call
mail@craftbeerrepublic.com. I think that's everything. Hope everyone out there
staying
very well hydrated. And on that note, good night, everybody.