1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,510 Dr. Adam C. Bandelli: Welcome. 2 00:00:00,750 --> 00:00:01,620 Thank you so much. 3 00:00:01,830 --> 00:00:04,290 Stephanie Maas: Well, and I will also throw a caution flag your way. 4 00:00:04,290 --> 00:00:09,810 I also have a son named Adam, so if halfway through I start yelling at you about not cleaning a room, , I apologize. 5 00:00:10,410 --> 00:00:10,560 . Yeah. 6 00:00:10,565 --> 00:00:10,680 Yeah. 7 00:00:10,685 --> 00:00:12,090 That's an association thing. 8 00:00:12,210 --> 00:00:12,450 Sure. 9 00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:13,290 By the way, is 10 00:00:13,290 --> 00:00:13,890 Dr. Adam C. Bandelli: your room clean? 11 00:00:14,190 --> 00:00:20,400 I'm actually visiting my, uh, siblings and my niece and nephews, so the backdrop should be my shoe collection. 12 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:21,000 I'm a sneakerhead. 13 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,950 I have like Jordan lemons that I collect. 14 00:00:22,950 --> 00:00:24,480 They're on the wall on mounts and stuff. 15 00:00:24,750 --> 00:00:25,170 Stephanie Maas: Okay. 16 00:00:25,170 --> 00:00:29,010 That is gonna be super fascinating and I'm actually gonna start there because my Adam. 17 00:00:29,330 --> 00:00:32,540 So a sneaker guy, um, he uses the website GOAT a lot. 18 00:00:32,870 --> 00:00:33,470 I used to. 19 00:00:33,470 --> 00:00:34,089 Yep, yep. 20 00:00:34,129 --> 00:00:35,730 And he just got some Yeezys. 21 00:00:35,839 --> 00:00:36,800 They're black and kind 22 00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:37,699 Dr. Adam C. Bandelli: of funky. 23 00:00:38,030 --> 00:00:43,879 Uh, he better buy all he can because Kanye's comments, there's not gonna be Yeezys much longer after after the last couple months. 24 00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:44,420 Okay, 25 00:00:44,425 --> 00:00:45,260 Stephanie Maas: so let's start there. 26 00:00:45,590 --> 00:00:46,910 Tell me about your sneaker fetish. 27 00:00:46,910 --> 00:00:50,030 It's got nothing to do with your background, your book, but maybe a little bit about your. 28 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:52,050 Dr. Adam C. Bandelli: Yeah, it does have to do with my background. 29 00:00:52,050 --> 00:00:57,150 So I grew up in the eighties, um, be like Mike, kind of Michael Jordan, one of those kids. 30 00:00:57,150 --> 00:01:00,510 And I, um, you know, played basketball, high school and college. 31 00:01:00,510 --> 00:01:04,530 And so my first foray into leadership was through sports. 32 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:08,430 Uh, I would say I'm an athlete first before a psychologist or a leadership advisor. 33 00:01:08,550 --> 00:01:12,780 And, um, once I realized in college that I wasn't gonna be like Mike, I had to find a plan. 34 00:01:13,524 --> 00:01:15,925 it really turned me into the field of leadership in psychology. 35 00:01:16,285 --> 00:01:22,945 And I would say that today, you know, one thing that's kept me going the last 20 years in terms of my focus has been what makes great leaders great. 36 00:01:23,395 --> 00:01:33,324 And so that started through sports and watching some of the athletes that I aspired to be like, and then being a leader as a point guard on the teams that I played in in high school and college that really kind of led to it. 37 00:01:33,324 --> 00:01:38,755 And so I've been collecting shoes since 1994 when Michael Jordan came back to the N B A from his baseball stint. 38 00:01:38,995 --> 00:01:40,914 But yeah, that was my entryway into doing leadership as. 39 00:01:41,235 --> 00:01:41,955 Stephanie Maas: Very cool. 40 00:01:42,045 --> 00:01:44,385 So what pair do you have that you're most proud? 41 00:01:45,165 --> 00:01:49,455 Dr. Adam C. Bandelli: I'll say my most recent, so every Christmas they release the Jordan elevens. 42 00:01:49,460 --> 00:01:51,645 These are the ones that are patent leather at the bottoms. 43 00:01:51,915 --> 00:01:54,555 They're all like a cherry red for the patent leather. 44 00:01:54,855 --> 00:01:56,655 And so that's the addition for this year. 45 00:01:56,660 --> 00:01:58,815 And I also, you know, get 'em all on goat. 46 00:01:58,815 --> 00:02:01,715 So I was able to get on early and get 'em, and they arrive like 10 days ago. 47 00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:02,565 . Stephanie Maas: Nice. 48 00:02:02,685 --> 00:02:05,595 So some people put out, you know, a holiday album. 49 00:02:05,835 --> 00:02:06,015 Yep. 50 00:02:06,075 --> 00:02:09,164 Various tradition that way for you it's the sneakers. 51 00:02:09,169 --> 00:02:09,824 That's right. 52 00:02:10,225 --> 00:02:10,905 . That's right. 53 00:02:10,905 --> 00:02:11,186 I love it. 54 00:02:11,186 --> 00:02:12,465 And they're red, so how perfect. 55 00:02:12,735 --> 00:02:13,125 That's right. 56 00:02:13,130 --> 00:02:13,545 That's right. 57 00:02:13,695 --> 00:02:14,415 Very cool. 58 00:02:14,565 --> 00:02:15,675 Okay, last question. 59 00:02:15,675 --> 00:02:16,815 Probably the most important. 60 00:02:17,025 --> 00:02:19,725 Um, so if you need a minute to collect your thoughts for you, answer. 61 00:02:20,055 --> 00:02:20,205 Yep. 62 00:02:20,355 --> 00:02:20,775 All right. 63 00:02:20,865 --> 00:02:28,455 If money, availability and any other hindrance or not an issue, what is the one pair of sneakers you would 64 00:02:28,625 --> 00:02:28,825 Dr. Adam C. Bandelli: ask? 65 00:02:29,325 --> 00:02:31,725 Wow, that's a tough . That's a tough question. 66 00:02:31,815 --> 00:02:36,945 Um, so I have a pair of, um, Jordan 11 golf shoes. 67 00:02:37,215 --> 00:02:40,245 They came out with them maybe five years ago. 68 00:02:40,305 --> 00:02:41,235 They're collector items. 69 00:02:41,235 --> 00:02:42,105 They don't make 'em anymore. 70 00:02:42,435 --> 00:02:46,125 And so if I had to pick one pair that I could bring and have with me, that would be the pair. 71 00:02:46,335 --> 00:02:50,955 They're all from the top and they have a like gold coated red, red and gold bottoms. 72 00:02:51,165 --> 00:02:52,365 And they're golf shoes you can wear. 73 00:02:52,365 --> 00:02:53,685 They play top golfers. 74 00:02:53,685 --> 00:02:55,125 You're playing out on a course and I'm an avid. 75 00:02:55,695 --> 00:02:58,125 You know, there's different versions and generations of Jordan's. 76 00:02:58,334 --> 00:03:01,484 So the Jordan one is kind of one of the most popular, the 11 or the other. 77 00:03:01,785 --> 00:03:05,595 And if I had a chance to go back and collect some of the number ones, that would be cool too. 78 00:03:06,015 --> 00:03:06,375 Stephanie Maas: Rocking. 79 00:03:06,644 --> 00:03:09,135 Okay, so let's, let's parlay off of that. 80 00:03:09,285 --> 00:03:12,165 Um, part of what I didn't have in your bio was the college athletes. 81 00:03:12,170 --> 00:03:12,795 So we've got this. 82 00:03:12,805 --> 00:03:16,705 College athlete, undergraduate degree, master's, doctorate. 83 00:03:16,795 --> 00:03:22,705 You've had an incredible professional career, obviously still in the midst of that, you've written a couple of books. 84 00:03:22,705 --> 00:03:25,525 I mean, obviously your parents are incredibly disappointed with you, I'm sure, 85 00:03:26,395 --> 00:03:26,815 . Dr. Adam C. Bandelli: Yep. 86 00:03:26,905 --> 00:03:27,935 We can unpack that too. 87 00:03:27,935 --> 00:03:28,255 Is it 88 00:03:29,755 --> 00:03:33,955 ? ? Stephanie Maas: What is your personal And it and it plays into your professional as well. 89 00:03:34,315 --> 00:03:34,435 Yeah. 90 00:03:34,525 --> 00:03:35,215 What's your. 91 00:03:35,875 --> 00:03:41,755 Dr. Adam C. Bandelli: Yeah, so my drive really comes through some of the life experiences that I went through, both personally and professionally over my career. 92 00:03:42,084 --> 00:03:56,394 Um, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was in graduate school, um, and the way that I was diagnosed, I was, uh, I went through a depressive episode for several months and then had a manic episode for another couple months, and then fell into a depressive episode with suicidal thoughts. 93 00:03:57,020 --> 00:03:59,690 Um, my father at the time took me to see a psychiatrist. 94 00:04:00,050 --> 00:04:03,350 Um, this is where I talk, I talk about in the book, on the chapter on rapport. 95 00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:06,020 Um, bedside manner for many doctors are not good. 96 00:04:06,170 --> 00:04:11,600 And so within three minutes I was diagnosed and told that you have bipolar, take these meds and come back in three weeks. 97 00:04:11,780 --> 00:04:14,150 And I outright rejected the diagnosis. 98 00:04:14,180 --> 00:04:17,840 I said, how could a graduate student getting his PhD in psychology have a psychological. 99 00:04:18,599 --> 00:04:31,560 Which led me to living in denial about it for seven or eight years, um, which led to a substance abuse addiction and a lot of other issues, frictions, problems with my family, friends that I had to address when I checked into rehab and started to turn my life around. 100 00:04:31,740 --> 00:04:37,440 And so, you know, I've had a career, thankfully, for 20 years doing leadership advisory and management consulting work. 101 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:41,130 But the thing that drives me today, I really feel, um, you know, I should be dead. 102 00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:44,140 I should have overdosed and I had a second chance on life. 103 00:04:44,260 --> 00:04:50,590 And to be able to serve the clients that we serve and to help them strengthen their relationships through relational intelligence. 104 00:04:50,590 --> 00:04:53,920 And a lot of the other things we do around leadership is really what gets me outta bed. 105 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:57,790 And so I believe I'm called to do the work that I do, the team that I oversee. 106 00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:08,380 Um, and you know, it's, for me, it's not just about business and helping leaders be successful and run financially profitable organizations, it's about their, you know, mental, physical, emotional wellbeing as well. 107 00:05:08,590 --> 00:05:10,330 Because all of us have struggles and challenges that. 108 00:05:10,895 --> 00:05:18,575 At least in the business world right now, people are still hesitant to talk about, there's a stigma still associated with it less so than 15 or 20 years ago. 109 00:05:18,604 --> 00:05:23,255 You see athletes like Simone Biles and Naomi Osaka, other golfers come out and talk about it. 110 00:05:23,255 --> 00:05:27,395 So it's being talked about more today, but I think it needs to be discussed more in the business community. 111 00:05:28,070 --> 00:05:29,055 Stephanie Maas: thank you for sharing. 112 00:05:29,205 --> 00:05:34,575 Obviously, you're at a point where you're very comfortable bringing that out right away, but I think you hit on something there at the end. 113 00:05:34,875 --> 00:05:35,415 Yes. 114 00:05:35,745 --> 00:05:42,345 It's much more acceptable to talk about those things today than it has been in the past, and especially probably when you were going through it. 115 00:05:42,735 --> 00:05:42,885 Yeah. 116 00:05:42,945 --> 00:05:46,815 But it is still an incredibly sensitive subject. 117 00:05:46,815 --> 00:05:50,205 It's a very difficult subject to deal with, and you just put it out there. 118 00:05:50,205 --> 00:05:50,905 Do you mind if. 119 00:05:51,085 --> 00:05:52,104 Pull on that string a 120 00:05:52,104 --> 00:05:52,555 Dr. Adam C. Bandelli: little bit. 121 00:05:52,765 --> 00:05:54,445 If you were to ask me this five years ago, I would say, Nope. 122 00:05:54,445 --> 00:05:55,044 We got the wrong guy. 123 00:05:55,044 --> 00:05:56,935 But we're my journey. 124 00:05:56,935 --> 00:05:57,505 Yeah, absolutely. 125 00:05:57,805 --> 00:06:05,604 Stephanie Maas: So given that, and again, and I also think too, mental health is way more rampant than even our society acknowledges today. 126 00:06:05,784 --> 00:06:06,145 Absolutely. 127 00:06:06,150 --> 00:06:06,205 Yeah. 128 00:06:06,205 --> 00:06:09,534 Even, even the healthiest of us we're not given at day one. 129 00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:10,830 we're given tools. 130 00:06:11,190 --> 00:06:11,250 Yeah. 131 00:06:11,250 --> 00:06:12,570 But we're not always showing how to use them. 132 00:06:12,570 --> 00:06:13,740 Some of them become outdated. 133 00:06:13,740 --> 00:06:14,940 We don't know how to replace them. 134 00:06:15,060 --> 00:06:19,380 And I love how it plays perfectly into your talk about relationships. 135 00:06:19,650 --> 00:06:24,960 So one of the things I wanted to talk about was, obviously you went through some incredibly challenging times. 136 00:06:25,230 --> 00:06:28,380 Talk to me about this idea of emotional intelligence. 137 00:06:28,380 --> 00:06:30,210 I think this is one of the hardest things people think. 138 00:06:30,210 --> 00:06:31,110 You either have it or 139 00:06:31,110 --> 00:06:31,500 Dr. Adam C. Bandelli: don't. 140 00:06:31,710 --> 00:06:32,790 Relational intelligence or emotional 141 00:06:32,790 --> 00:06:33,270 Stephanie Maas: intelligence. 142 00:06:33,330 --> 00:06:35,280 I wanna start with emotional and then I'm gonna go to 143 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:35,760 Dr. Adam C. Bandelli: relat. 144 00:06:36,094 --> 00:06:36,664 Yeah, absolutely. 145 00:06:36,664 --> 00:06:45,275 So I've been doing research on emotional intelligence since 1994 when Daniel Goman came out with his book, um, emotional Intelligence, why it Matters More than iq. 146 00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:55,145 Um, and that started me on a 10 year journey till I completed my PhD on the idea that relationships include emotions, but it's a separate set of skills as well. 147 00:06:55,505 --> 00:07:01,605 Um, and so at today we define emotional intelligence at my firm as the ability to understand your emotion. 148 00:07:02,195 --> 00:07:05,044 The emotions of others and how to manage emotions effectively. 149 00:07:05,495 --> 00:07:08,885 And so leaders can use emotions for positive. 150 00:07:09,065 --> 00:07:13,924 You can use emotions to elicit, you know, inspiration and to motivate and set goals with your people. 151 00:07:14,224 --> 00:07:20,705 And we've all seen leaders who can use emotions to manipulate or to instill fear in their direct reports or team members. 152 00:07:21,065 --> 00:07:23,945 Um, and so I had the chance to study eq. 153 00:07:24,135 --> 00:07:31,965 For my undergraduate thesis, for my master's thesis and what we looked at in my master's thesis, my mentor and I, we said, you know, is there a dark side to eq? 154 00:07:32,414 --> 00:07:35,355 And you know, narcissistic leaders and Machiavellian leaders. 155 00:07:35,355 --> 00:07:47,685 And what we found is, is that, you know, Machiavellian leaders who are leaders that are self-serving, they're not inherently bad people, but they just know how to use emotions to trigger their desires and their interests, be they positive or negative and others. 156 00:07:48,015 --> 00:07:59,545 And so for me, that got me thinking, okay, if these skills or EQ could be used for positive or negative, are there a separate group of skills or behaviors that leaders use to build lifelong sustainable relationships with people? 157 00:08:00,055 --> 00:08:09,235 Um, and that got me into doing the research around the five skills that are in our relational intelligence framework, and ultimately to me, doing my dissertation in graduate school on relational intelligence. 158 00:08:09,655 --> 00:08:16,224 Stephanie Maas: For you personally, as you went through this very dark time, who were, or what were some of your inspirations to 159 00:08:16,224 --> 00:08:16,465 Dr. Adam C. Bandelli: pull. 160 00:08:17,370 --> 00:08:27,120 Yeah, I mean, so again, I think, you know, it, it there you think about people who are, you know, famous or who are in these type of roles that, you know, influencers and those type of things. 161 00:08:27,450 --> 00:08:36,750 I will tell you that I learned more from a transgender woman in rehab about empathy and about connecting with people and about showing compassion than I did in any class. 162 00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:40,919 I took in graduate school on emotional intelligence or understanding people. 163 00:08:41,215 --> 00:08:48,805 And so there's been various people that are people you wouldn't even think about that came into my life at different seasons that taught me about different things. 164 00:08:48,985 --> 00:08:52,285 Um, my first mentor in undergraduate was phenomenal. 165 00:08:52,345 --> 00:08:56,455 He took me under his wing after my sophomore year, I became his graduate assistant. 166 00:08:56,795 --> 00:08:58,565 And he taught me how to be a consultant. 167 00:08:58,595 --> 00:09:06,335 He taught me the importance of building relationships and why developing trust and embracing diversity and inclusion is important. 168 00:09:06,485 --> 00:09:08,585 Um, so there's been a number of people on my journey. 169 00:09:08,585 --> 00:09:10,415 My family has played a tremendous role. 170 00:09:10,415 --> 00:09:12,815 My mo mother has a certain role she's played. 171 00:09:12,995 --> 00:09:14,675 I grew up in a single family household. 172 00:09:15,005 --> 00:09:16,205 My father has played another role. 173 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:19,130 Faith and spirituality has been in the mix. 174 00:09:19,130 --> 00:09:27,630 My mother and I are Christian, my father's and Muslim, and so there's just so many things that have kind of played a role in kind of how I view people and relationships. 175 00:09:28,310 --> 00:09:28,395 . Stephanie Maas: Wow. 176 00:09:28,845 --> 00:09:32,265 That is a huge topic that I feel like we could probably spend the next three days. 177 00:09:32,324 --> 00:09:36,314 But in the spirit of time, there's two other things I wanted to make sure we hit while we had this time together. 178 00:09:36,345 --> 00:09:37,845 So I'm gonna completely shift gears on you. 179 00:09:38,235 --> 00:09:38,324 Sure. 180 00:09:38,324 --> 00:09:38,625 Absolutely. 181 00:09:38,895 --> 00:09:46,095 So one of the things I noticed in your background is in 2015 you started your own firm, and specifically that it's a black-owned 182 00:09:46,095 --> 00:09:48,585 Dr. Adam C. Bandelli: organization, multicultural, multiethnic. 183 00:09:48,585 --> 00:09:51,915 We have black people, Hispanic, straight gay men, women. 184 00:09:51,915 --> 00:09:53,625 So it's multicultural, multiethnic. 185 00:09:53,625 --> 00:09:54,824 It's not an exclusive black. 186 00:09:55,064 --> 00:09:55,814 Stephanie Maas: Even better. 187 00:09:56,175 --> 00:09:56,324 Yeah. 188 00:09:57,045 --> 00:09:58,125 2015. 189 00:09:58,365 --> 00:10:10,365 Obviously the world knows there was a incredible need for the idea of diversity and inclusion and, and really changing the landscape of the professional society that we participate in. 190 00:10:10,365 --> 00:10:13,185 Most of us participate in now, but it wasn't hot topic then. 191 00:10:14,185 --> 00:10:14,310 . That's right. 192 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:19,560 It really didn't start to become kind of on the forefront until the last couple of years. 193 00:10:19,890 --> 00:10:25,980 How has what it was back in 15 to what it is in becoming today, how has that changed? 194 00:10:25,980 --> 00:10:27,510 Can you walk me through that evolution? 195 00:10:27,515 --> 00:10:29,130 It's a big question, but can you walk me through that? 196 00:10:29,130 --> 00:10:31,620 Evolution, challenges, successes. 197 00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:36,510 Dr. Adam C. Bandelli: So when I started my career, I joined a global management consulting firm. 198 00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:40,320 Um, I was one of the youngest in the firm's history, a job I shouldn't have had. 199 00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:43,680 Um, but I was able to build relationships with the folks that I work with. 200 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:46,800 But most of the people I worked with are older, whiter men and women. 201 00:10:46,830 --> 00:10:48,660 They're about 25, 30 years older than me. 202 00:10:49,335 --> 00:10:53,895 . And so as a person of color, I was surrounded by mentors and people who were all very similar. 203 00:10:54,045 --> 00:11:06,405 And so as I got, you know, 10, 12 years into my career, I said, you know, I wanna build a firm that is multicultural, multiethnic, and we don't just talk about diversity or offer a program to teach leaders about it, we actually embody it. 204 00:11:06,525 --> 00:11:10,545 Um, and so in 2015, I started my firm really around four pillars. 205 00:11:11,020 --> 00:11:13,090 Multicultural Multiethnic was one of them. 206 00:11:13,300 --> 00:11:24,280 And what I have seen in the last several years, really since George Floyd and Social Justice in 2020, that diversity in getting bodies and chairs is not really the full focus of what diversity and inclusion should be. 207 00:11:24,550 --> 00:11:26,710 It's really about this idea of authenticity. 208 00:11:26,950 --> 00:11:38,800 Uh, and in the book I talk about, one of the skills of relational intelligence is called embracing individual differences, which is the ability to be authentic in acknowledging and accepting that everyone comes from different backgrounds and experie. 209 00:11:39,245 --> 00:11:43,955 . And so it's having a positive reception to people who think, act and behave differently than you do. 210 00:11:44,105 --> 00:11:57,575 And so when we talk about inclusivity today, I share with my clients that you want to have people who are different from you around the table on your team, whether that be age, race, sexual orientation, ethnicity, when you bring people together. 211 00:11:57,575 --> 00:12:03,845 And what our research shows and research in the broader business psychology field is diversity of thought is the outcome you should drive. 212 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:17,160 And if you have people who have different experiences in their life and they're able to communicate and share that and feel that they can bring their true selves to work, it leads to greater innovation, it leads to greater problem solving teams work more effectively. 213 00:12:17,610 --> 00:12:22,410 Um, and so for us today, diversity and inclusion is really kind of an older term. 214 00:12:22,410 --> 00:12:24,090 For us it's authenticity. 215 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:33,600 And as a leader, are you comfortable enough in your own skin to come into work and be your true self enabling and creating the conditions through which your people can have the freedom to do that as. 216 00:12:34,449 --> 00:12:34,635 , which is 217 00:12:34,635 --> 00:12:39,704 Stephanie Maas: just the perfect bridge to the eq, emotional intelligence, relational intelligence. 218 00:12:39,795 --> 00:12:45,675 So again, being a part of the professional world, I've sat in a lot of diversity and inclusion training over the last couple of years. 219 00:12:46,094 --> 00:12:53,745 I have never heard that, that link between authenticity and I think that is really worth just re mentioning here. 220 00:12:53,805 --> 00:12:54,165 Yeah. 221 00:12:54,405 --> 00:12:57,555 What an accurate way of really defining. 222 00:12:58,334 --> 00:13:03,855 diversity and inclusion really means it's when you and everyone around you can be their authentic self. 223 00:13:04,155 --> 00:13:04,305 That's 224 00:13:04,310 --> 00:13:04,425 Dr. Adam C. Bandelli: right. 225 00:13:04,594 --> 00:13:05,675 And whatever that entails. 226 00:13:05,675 --> 00:13:05,834 Yeah. 227 00:13:06,015 --> 00:13:06,344 Whatever 228 00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:06,975 Stephanie Maas: that entails. 229 00:13:07,185 --> 00:13:07,605 Okay. 230 00:13:07,755 --> 00:13:17,265 Looking forward, knowing what you know, looking out three to five years, what do you see the biggest challenges that future leaders are gonna face? 231 00:13:17,895 --> 00:13:23,864 Dr. Adam C. Bandelli: Yeah, so we're in the midst now in the next five to seven years of a transition between different generations of leaders. 232 00:13:24,285 --> 00:13:30,224 So you have leaders who are baby boomers and Gen X who are in the senior level roles in organizations right now. 233 00:13:30,525 --> 00:13:39,555 And we have an influx of millennials and Gen Z who are starting to come into the workforce or have been, and so you'll have a Gen X or baby boomer leader managing a millennial or. 234 00:13:40,505 --> 00:13:54,275 Um, and what our research has shown, and I've written a couple articles you can find on our website about this, is that things like purpose and things like fulfillment in someone's job and things like joy, those are things that are universal regardless of what generation you come from. 235 00:13:54,395 --> 00:13:58,775 And so leaders of the next four to five years are gonna have to be able to. 236 00:13:59,265 --> 00:14:07,275 Create the conditions for diversity and for inclusion, but they're gonna have to go a step further and understand what are the individual needs of their employees. 237 00:14:07,575 --> 00:14:13,005 And so this is where relational intelligence comes in, in a positive way, is for leaders to use this skillset. 238 00:14:13,005 --> 00:14:14,715 It's not a one size fit all approach. 239 00:14:15,225 --> 00:14:18,290 . And so these skills I, I talked to clients about, this is a blueprint. 240 00:14:18,590 --> 00:14:21,950 The book is a blueprint of five skills that every leadership, practice and possess. 241 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:24,050 They are skills that you can develop and learn. 242 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:27,230 So they're not personality factors like extroversion or introversion. 243 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:34,940 You can pick up these skills and practice them, but as I'm sure you've seen in your own relationships, um, Stephanie, every relationship is unique. 244 00:14:35,355 --> 00:14:37,005 Relationships are built on reciprocity. 245 00:14:37,395 --> 00:14:40,995 So as a leader, are you getting to know your people and whatever that might entail? 246 00:14:41,055 --> 00:14:45,555 Their strengths, their opportunities, aspects of their personal lives and work outside of work. 247 00:14:45,975 --> 00:14:52,915 Um, but leaders really need to focus on doing that so they can meet the needs of their employees, but ultimately help their employees develop and grow. 248 00:14:53,834 --> 00:14:56,055 We're sitting in the midst of the great resignation right now. 249 00:14:56,385 --> 00:15:07,035 And what our research has shown is that, you know, people are leaving companies not because of just pay title promotion, they're leaving because of the lack of relationships or lack of development they're getting from their employers. 250 00:15:07,395 --> 00:15:10,814 Um, there's that famous saying that, you know, we don't leave companies with e bosses. 251 00:15:11,295 --> 00:15:12,704 And so that is a big part of us. 252 00:15:12,704 --> 00:15:14,145 So I think those are some of the challenges. 253 00:15:14,145 --> 00:15:20,115 I think the other challenges, you know, we're gonna continue to see the hybrid work model as the approach going forward. 254 00:15:20,385 --> 00:15:21,734 We're not gonna be back in the office every. 255 00:15:22,334 --> 00:15:27,855 And so leaders need to find ways to connect and you can never create the connection if you or I were in a room together. 256 00:15:27,915 --> 00:15:41,915 I think there's power in having that human heart to heart moment where you can look across the table into someone's eyes, have a conversation, um, but there are ways to do it on Zoom or in other ways where you're really intentional about the time you spend with your employees. 257 00:15:42,105 --> 00:15:47,324 So, you know, great example is I had a leader about six, seven months ago who couldn't bring the employees back into. 258 00:15:47,700 --> 00:15:57,030 There was a mandate that they still had to be remote, but that leader created specific time each week where he would have 30 minutes with his, each of his direct reports to just check up on 'em. 259 00:15:57,030 --> 00:15:58,110 You know, very simple stuff. 260 00:15:58,110 --> 00:16:02,880 And then bringing the team together to celebrate successes, not just talk about the next hill that had to be tackled. 261 00:16:03,180 --> 00:16:11,220 So I think those two things are big, you know, the ability to adapt to a remote workforce model, and then also being able to meet the needs of different leaders regardless of what generation. 262 00:16:12,495 --> 00:16:24,135 Stephanie Maas: really sounds like, and I'd love if your experience in research would support this, but it really seems like if you look and you go back and you study how Boomers led and managed, it was very much at a macro level. 263 00:16:24,225 --> 00:16:24,435 Yeah. 264 00:16:24,645 --> 00:16:32,595 And what I'm hearing you say, but please correct me if I'm wrong, is where we are headed is really much more at that micro. 265 00:16:32,870 --> 00:16:33,320 Level 266 00:16:33,620 --> 00:16:38,840 Dr. Adam C. Bandelli: if, if a leader wants to be successful, they have to in, they have to interact at that individual level 100%. 267 00:16:39,260 --> 00:16:42,470 Um, you think of baby boomers, it was more top-down authority. 268 00:16:42,740 --> 00:16:44,720 There's a hierarchy in organizations. 269 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:46,550 You don't challenge the status quo. 270 00:16:46,820 --> 00:16:51,410 I think leaders who are successful today create conditions for people to be more collaborative. 271 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:53,920 Um, they value feedback. 272 00:16:53,925 --> 00:16:56,420 This is a huge piece of research we're conducting right now. 273 00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:01,490 Feedback goes both ways, and a leader should be able to, through the relationships they build with people. 274 00:17:02,325 --> 00:17:04,095 Have folks be comfortable giving feedback. 275 00:17:04,245 --> 00:17:10,785 And so that means having a degree of humility, which I think a lot of leaders, especially baby boomers, don't wanna show their weaknesses. 276 00:17:10,785 --> 00:17:24,315 I see this more with the men that I coach versus the senior executive women, but having a degree of humility, um, trust the way we define it in our framework for relational intelligence is the ability to be vulnerable and risk being exposed to the actions or behaviors of others. 277 00:17:24,589 --> 00:17:30,230 So a lot of our work builds off work that Brene Brown has done and others around trust and around vulnerability. 278 00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:32,990 Um, and so that's another big piece I think is tied in as well. 279 00:17:34,615 --> 00:17:39,225 , Stephanie Maas: anything else in our time today that you would just love to have the platform to share? 280 00:17:39,735 --> 00:17:44,855 Dr. Adam C. Bandelli: Yeah, look, I mean, I think people are probably gonna want to know first, how is relational intelligence different than eq? 281 00:17:45,045 --> 00:17:51,045 And so, as I mentioned earlier on, EQ can be used for positive or negative purposes depending on the leader's interests and needs. 282 00:17:51,135 --> 00:17:57,775 But relational intelligence, we define that as the ability to successfully connect with people and build strong, long-lasting relat. 283 00:17:58,385 --> 00:18:08,795 So what our research has found the five skills in our framework, and those include establishing rapport, uh, which is the ability to create, use energy to create initial positive connection with someone. 284 00:18:09,245 --> 00:18:16,865 So it's how much energy do you bring to conversations, things like finding common ground, uh, the way you dress your appearance, verbals and nonverbals. 285 00:18:17,285 --> 00:18:24,605 Uh, the second skills called understanding others, and this is being intentional about putting in the time and effort needed to get to know people on a deep. 286 00:18:25,165 --> 00:18:32,825 So you think about things like active listening or being curious and inquisitive, or the ability to put yourself in other people's shoes and be empathetic. 287 00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:40,920 The third skill we talked about already embracing individual differences is the authenticity bucket with the goal of trying to get diversity of thought with your team. 288 00:18:41,430 --> 00:18:45,840 Um, developing trust is the fourth skill, and that is again, around vulnerability. 289 00:18:46,110 --> 00:18:49,650 It's about this concept that we came up with as well, called intentional generosity. 290 00:18:49,990 --> 00:18:55,810 And so leaders who get the most followership from their people get the most commitment and engagement. 291 00:18:56,140 --> 00:18:59,350 They are intentionally generous in terms of how they sow or invest. 292 00:18:59,350 --> 00:19:06,160 We like to use the farmer's analogy, how they sow into the lives of their people and are they doing it at an individual level, the micro level that we talked about. 293 00:19:06,490 --> 00:19:09,250 And then the most important skill in the framework is cultivating influence. 294 00:19:09,850 --> 00:19:13,200 , and that's the ability to have a positive and meaningful impact on the lives of others. 295 00:19:13,470 --> 00:19:21,510 So it's things like being a servant leader, it's mentoring and coaching and going out of your way to do that with people who are on your team and maybe people across the organization. 296 00:19:21,930 --> 00:19:26,760 Um, but it's also about creating a culture of feedback where it can go both ways, like I mentioned. 297 00:19:27,149 --> 00:19:30,210 And if you do those things, you'll build committed relat. 298 00:19:30,810 --> 00:19:32,610 With your employees, with your people. 299 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:48,120 Um, and what our research has shown the last several years is that when you practice relational intelligence and when you learn these five skills and put them into work and start to model them for others, it leads to greater senses of, you know, commitment, engagement, and financial profitability as well. 300 00:19:48,389 --> 00:19:48,600 Stephanie Maas: Hmm. 301 00:19:48,870 --> 00:19:53,639 Super appreciate your time and willingness to be here with us and just your openness. 302 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:59,340 I think that's these kind of conversations, like you said, where you really learned empathy was probably the last place you thought you'd. 303 00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:00,400 Yeah. 304 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:00,800 Yeah. 305 00:20:00,805 --> 00:20:07,240 And uh, I think it's conversations like this and willingness to have them and show that vulnerability that are huge different as makers. 306 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:08,680 So thank you very much. 307 00:20:09,310 --> 00:20:09,820 Dr. Adam C. Bandelli: My pleasure. 308 00:20:09,820 --> 00:20:10,210 My pleasure. 309 00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:10,540 Absolutely. 310 00:20:10,540 --> 00:20:11,280 Pleasure to be here. 311 00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:11,680 Thanks, 312 00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:11,800 Stephanie Maas: Adam.