[00:00:00] Hi, and welcome to this episode of the awfully quiet podcast. I gotta take a minute here to say a huge thank you to each and every one of you tuning in and listening to the awfully quiet podcast. it's been a couple of weeks, a couple of episodes aired since I launched this thing, and it's been a crazy ride for me.

[00:00:22] I know it often. Doesn't look like that from the outside, but there was so much going on inside of me, in, in order to get this across the line and then having it out there in the world for everyone to see, and listen in, tune in, has been really meaningful to me. And so what happened? Went way beyond my expectations.

[00:00:46] I am so happy for each and every one of you tuning in, rating, reviewing, sending DMs. I got Some really lovely messages, and it's really encouraging to hear from you and to see that what I'm sharing here resonates. It's meaningful. It helps you in your career. You feel seen and heard. And at the end of the day, this is exactly what I'm trying to achieve here is to build a community and You feel seen and heard.

[00:01:17] To give you a space on the Internet and a space to tune into where you feel heard and seen and understood and we can, where we can provide the right content for your needs and more often than not. I am selfish. I have those very same needs. So we're on this journey together and I will continue to invite crazy guests on here that will allow us to learn together and to embark on this endeavor to build a career that is meaningful.

[00:01:53] For you and me, a career that caters to our strength, a career that allows us to be excited about getting up in the morning and doing something that really moves the needle in an introvert friendly way. Now, all that said, I'm really happy with how all this went down and obviously I continue to do so.

[00:02:17] It's just been the first couple episodes. So, I'm just taking a moment to reflect on. That has taken a lot of energy out of me. The last couple of weeks have been really exhausting for me. And it's not just been the podcast launch. I feel like with the year coming to a close, it's all coming together.

[00:02:39] And I find myself in this year end sprint, as we sometimes say in German. I'm not too sure it translates into English as well or into other languages, but it's a sentiment of trying to wrap up the year in the best possible way. And closing things down, getting things ready. And, if you're anything like me, you'll have one or two more weeks to work, and then you might be logging off for some Christmas holiday, for some time at home with your loved ones, and slowing down for the year end.

[00:03:15] if you were like me, I have this romantic imagination of what this looks like in a perfect world is and Where I get everything ready on time, where I hit all the deadlines, where I close everything off and get to then truly enjoy my time off. And it's never like that, is it? We never really get everything across the line before the year end and why would we want to?

[00:03:46] So, this episode. Is really what I need to hear today. This is selfishly the advice that I'm looking for right at this moment where I feel like I've given it my all this year. , you know, during the past couple of weeks, I don't think I've ever been sick so often. I've had a cold quite a few times.

[00:04:11] I'm getting migraines here and there and I'm, I've been getting them more often. And it's all testament to the fact that I have been working really hard, that I have been stress a lot with my corporate job, with my side business, with the endeavor to launch this podcast. Now, I don't want to complain about that because I actually don't mind putting in the work at the moment.

[00:04:37] We can touch on, you know, hustle culture and whether or not to hustle in a different episode, but. From my point of view, I appreciate that I'm currently in a season of my life where I'm happy to put in the work, where I'm building a corporate job that is, That is, you know, working really well, really happy with what I'm doing and really excited to keep moving forward and keep moving in this direction, in brand management.

[00:05:08] At the same time, I'm building a side business and that is no easy feat for me, from a time perspective, but also from a skills perspective, I often thought, you know, as a, as a brand marketer specifically. I must have all the skills needed to build an online business needed to market myself to get something off the ground.

[00:05:31] But I often feel like it's a completely different muscle that's being needed for that. And obviously that requires a lot of energy to. to build this, to acquire these skills and to get better over time. So, that's another factor. And then obviously the podcast and you know, all about my story of, of launching this thing.

[00:05:52] I am somebody who plans who over things, who over prepare. So I wanted to get this out perfectly. And I'm proud of what I ended up launching, but still, it's a, it's an activity. It's a weekly activity that. still needs a lot of attention, that skill that I still need to hone over time, speaking into a microphone, getting everything ready, getting the right podcast guests, on the show for you to, to listen and tune into and, quite frankly, get value out of tuning in.

[00:06:28] So. Cool. All of these things require energy and I am more than willing to give it and in this day and time where I'm in or in this season that I am in and so I'm fine with where things are, but at the same time, I just need to honor that. It's a lot. It's a lot. And I'm at this place in the year where, like I say, I'm just trying to close things down and get things to a place where I feel they are ready, where I feel that I can log off for Christmas and feel accomplished.

[00:07:07] And now that is where the problem is, isn't it? Because what often happens is that you try to get everything ready, you hit all the deadlines, you do put in the work, you do a lot of overtime, and then you lock off for the Christmas holidays or frankly any other holiday in the week, and suddenly what happens is your body shuts down.

[00:07:30] You're getting sick. This happens to me so, so often. And that's not the idea, right? We don't want to spend Christmas, sick and bad and trying to get better and feeling sorry for ourselves. So what I'm doing here today is really giving you the advice that I need to hear at the moment. Finding some words of encouragement and looking into what is helpful right now beyond the usual advice that you would be getting right now, right?

[00:08:07] So let's just think about this for a minute. The usual advice that you would get around this time is to slow down, to, you know, make sure you're, you take your energy back, you honor your energy and. You find some time to be mindful and you don't push yourself too much. You try to prioritize all the things.

[00:08:33] Now, I respect that those things are not helpful. This advice is nowhere near helping you in this situation. So I want to come up with three little hacks that you can do right away to feel better about yourself to boost your confidence and to stay sane in the process. All right, let's dive in.

[00:08:58] Here's where we're going to start off with our little pre Christmas hacks to stay sane and feel good about ourselves. So number one, we're going to give ourselves a little boost of confidence because I know you all too well. I know that what happens during the year end crisis mode and getting everything ready and across the line is the first thing that jumps off the cliff is our self talk.

[00:09:32] The first thing that goes south, so to speak, is our self talk. And what happens to me is when I get really stressed and when I get into this space of like this negative spiral is that I start being really negative with myself. I start talking to myself in a way. That I wouldn't talk to myself if I were in a better place.

[00:09:55] So what happens then is, especially towards the year end, is, you know, I'm not good enough. I have not achieved everything I wanted to achieve this year. There is still so many things I wanted to have done. This was supposed to look differently. And there are still so many things.

[00:10:15] That I thought I would be doing in 2023 that I might never achieve. So it gets worse and worse in this spiral. And what I want you to do, if you feel anything like that, and if you find yourself , talking negatively to you, I want you to start writing down your achievements, because that's literally what I started to do when I noticed.

[00:10:43] This is. Myself speaking so poorly to myself. And I literally just opened up a note on my phone and I started to type the things I was proud of myself off this year. I'm going to share some with you. So what I noted down is it was actually the first year into a new job in, in my corporate career, as a brand manager.

[00:11:08] And frankly. It is a big brand manager role. It's a prestigious brand in the business and it was big shoes to fill from the previous person on the job. And I had all sorts of anxiety around starting in that role. And I started right last, November. So I'm a year in the new role and I got some really good and encouraging feedback after this first year.

[00:11:36] I have achieved some things in this role that I'm really proud of. I got really good feedback. I am really pleased with where things are. If you would have asked me one year ago, what do I want to achieve? What is the kind of feedback that I want to get after the first year? I couldn't have made this up.

[00:11:59] So from that perspective, I can be really proud of myself. But what often happens in the day to day is I'm always thinking about the next thing I want to do, like the next, almost the next job that I want to position myself for, the next project that I want to go on and how am I being perceived, et cetera.

[00:12:19] So it was so important for me to literally write this down and say, I am happy that I smashed this first year in the new job and that I'm getting good feedback and that everything's on track. Another thing that I noted down was that I launched this podcast and frankly, I already had this podcast on my list the previous year, didn't launch it then, and I took some more time to get it ready, to get it prepped, and you will have heard this story already in some of the previous episodes, so I'm not going too deeply into that, but It's fair to say that it took some time to get this off the ground and it's finally there.

[00:13:04] I launched it. It's out in the world. And so this is a very important part of my achievement list in 2023. And so the list goes on. There's a couple of things that I did in my personal life. I got my very first tattoo this year. I became an auntie this year. First time auntie. And All these sorts of things that, you know, you may even be able to feel the smile through, the microphone or through your headphones, whatever you're listening to.

[00:13:37] it makes me feel really good just talking about it, just kind of reflecting back on that list. And I know you will have heard that before in terms of like, write down your achievements. But this is your reminder to really do it and it doesn't need to be a fancy list. It doesn't need to be a fancy journal.

[00:13:56] Just put some faux notes up and whenever you think about something that you are proud of and something that you have achieved, big or small, just write it down. Just capture it there because it can feel so good to go back to this list every once in a while and remind yourself of all the things. That you have achieved and that sometimes get far too little credit in our day to day lives and yeah, and just get lost in the frenzy.

[00:14:29] So yeah, get your achievement list. What it does is it boosts your confidence and this is why this is so important. We're going to dive into confidence more deeply, but. The most common misconception about confidence is actually that you either have confidence or you don't have confidence. And this is not how confidence works.

[00:14:54] Confidence is a muscle. Confidence is a skill that you build over time. It's not that you are either born with confidence or not. It's that you actively gain confidence over time. by doing the things that you told yourself you're going to do now, going back to this example, me launching the podcast this year is actually me holding true to what I really wanted to achieve and what I had set out to do.

[00:15:25] So this gives me confidence. Well, I'm not the most confident person yet speaking into this microphone and, you know, having on guests and, You know, making this a reality, it's still a struggle for me. I still don't feel a hundred percent confident, but it has already helped a great deal and has spiked my confidence versus where it was last year.

[00:15:50] So this is why your little achievements, your little wins throughout the year are so, so important. Because that's how you build confidence. That's how you fuel and build that muscle. So I want you to get started. If you haven't already, Get out, get out your phone, Start your list and write down a couple of things that you are proud of this year.

[00:16:15] All right, pre Christmas life hack number two. You want to build in small conscious choices. Now I know what you're thinking. I know. We're not in a new year yet. It's not new year new me and it might not be for you at all. I always appreciate the new year in terms of like a fresh start and you know to build new habits or reinforce new habits and to you know get started fresh with a clean slate and you know, Refocus on what it is that you're trying to achieve.

[00:16:50] So I love the new year for that. But I also know that you can do that any day of the year. The new year just marks an excellent date and also brings a clean slate from a calendar perspective. So it works really well for a lot of people Until like the end of January when it doesn't work anymore, but we're not there yet What I'm saying is why not get started with some small conscious choices ahead of the game so ahead of the Christmas frenzy and what I mean by that is You probably have a couple of things in mind if you think about the new year and some of the habits you would love to build.

[00:17:30] I'm sure you have a little bit of a list in terms of like the things that you would like to try and do differently. Now, some of the things on my list are definitely around, movement. So I'm getting a lot of daily movement in through going out with the dog. Plus I have recently started to get some more serious movement in from a workout perspective.

[00:17:53] So we have started to go to these cycling classes in the city. So this really fancy club that does, rhythm cycling, so to speak. So you cycle through the music, it's this high energy place, lots of people, cycling in one room. And it's just something that we really, really love to do. It's also something that Lukasz and I can do together, which is rare in terms of, you know, going out and doing sports with your partner.

[00:18:18] So it feels like a win win from so many different angles and perspectives and it's something that we started to do and all of a sudden I feel better about myself because frankly all year long I've been thinking about, building in,, a form of exercise into my weekly routine that Will get me out of my comfort zone and get me moving, beyond what I would usually do.

[00:18:47] And I was always a little anxious and a little afraid to go there, frankly. I think it was during COVID that, we started to do sports at home and we, I would do home videos. I would do a lot of Pamela Reif for those of you who, who know her, she's a big German fitness influencer. I think she's. Very well known across Europe as well.

[00:19:09] So she has some great workout videos that I was really diligent with. I'm doing a lot of yoga, you know, and, and, and yoga at home with some videos, et cetera. And then, like I said, going out for a run and going out with the dog. So I feel like I, I have built a lot of movement into my day to day life. I get my 10, 000 steps in, but I feel like I needed a challenge.

[00:19:34] And I was anxious going into the place because I thought I wasn't cool enough for it or I, I don't really know what it was, but it takes one time to show up. It literally takes one freaking decision to like sign up to the thing where you can book your spot and you go. And we came out of it and we reflected on how long it took us to.

[00:20:01] and then we actually went through it for that first step, but then we actually really enjoyed it. We bought like the 10, the 10 times contingent, you know, packaged, and I already, I already went 11 times. I'm really, really good at this point, but it does take some effort to do this first step to go there the first time to figure out, you know, where are you going to get your shoes, where are you going to get the towel?

[00:20:25] how are things running here? What are the instructors like? And so on and so on. So. Why am I going so deeply into this example is because it is like that for every endeavor that you start new. It is for that, like that, with every new habit that you build in, it takes a little effort at first, but then you feel the reward.

[00:20:49] You feel like it's really helping you. So. That's something we have built in at an unusual time in the year, like right when it got dark outside, right when, you know, you wouldn't be starting with a new kind of sport or workout routine. And so this has felt really, really good. There's another couple of things that I'm trying to do more of in terms of like, some healthy habits, with something like healthier cooking or like, you know, getting into a routine with, with cooking.

[00:21:20] I feel like that's a whole other full time job, which. I'm not prepared to handle yet, but, all sorts of little things that I feel like are going to help me feel better and are going to help me manage my energy better. and you might have some things on your own list, some things that you feel like are going to move the needle in the right direction.

[00:21:43] But you are just, you just haven't done them yet. You just haven't signed up yet, or you're just feeling like you're going to do it at the beginning of the year. So why not pick one of those things? And why not get started now? Why not build one healthy habit or one habit that you're looking to integrate before the year ends?

[00:22:05] And the other thing that this helps with is That you're not trying to do everything at once. I know when the new year starts, we tend to overwhelm ourselves very similarly to the way we overwhelm ourselves before Christmas is the whole pressure when the new year starts in terms of like, Now I gotta be this good person.

[00:22:27] Now I gotta be that person that shows up to cycling. Now I gotta be the person who cooks every night and doesn't order in anymore. Now I gotta be the person who doesn't watch Netflix at night and goes to bed with a book at 9 p. m. Yeah, that's another one on my list. So instead of doing that, instead of, quite frankly, setting yourself up for failure at the beginning of the year, why not try out some of these habits and see whether they fit you.

[00:22:58] See, see what they do for you. Like you end up going to the cycling class and you hate it. At least you've tried it. You don't have to go again if you don't really like it, but collect some data points. Make sure that you try on some of these habits, trial and error. And I think it can be really beneficial at a time of year where we usually get a little bit more unhealthy, where, you know, there's a lot of food involved, there's a lot less movement involved.

[00:23:30] And all of that can trigger and fuel some of that downward spiral that we often find ourselves in. So, small conscious choices, it's where it's at this Christmas season. I want you to pick one and I want you to get started and let me know how you're cracking on. Now, pre Christmas hack number three. Dare to be the anti hero.

[00:23:59] Now, what I'm saying with this is that, especially before Christmas, especially before the holidays, we all try to embody the hero. We all try to be this fictional character of a person who's got it all together. And I'm sure you already have a picture in mind, a visual in mind, but what this looks like to me at this point in the year is.

[00:24:26] Just someone who You know, it's finally getting ready to close things down, somebody who, you know, is done with all their work travel has got everything ready and prepped for the year and like deadlines on track to do list ticked off, you know, a couple of emails left in their inbox to answer. With a nice little coffee on the side, some Christmas cookies and, you know, being really thoughtful about what you're writing people and what you're wishing them for the holidays and then.

[00:25:01] It may also look like podcast hosts who have a couple of episodes recorded well in advance before the holidays, because that makes a ton of sense, you know, in order to just have it ready to go, and air in time and not have to think about it during the holidays. No. All of that is not me. And I figured, I am the antihero.

[00:25:28] And not just because I'm a huge fan of Taylor Swift. Now I figured, I had to drop this somewhere in the first ten episodes. But, what does it look like to be the antihero? what, what does it feel like to be the antihero? And what I want to start with is like a very general definition of the anti hero and I've just literally googled that.

[00:25:54] So, an anti hero is a central character of a story who lacks traditional characteristics that are associated with a conventional hero. So. If we aren't going to go with the conventions and with the traditions of being our perfect selves for the holidays, it actually sounds It's quite tempting to me.

[00:26:20] It actually sounds really good to me. And quite frankly, it sounds a lot like something that I would be doing because I rarely like to go with the conventions. I love to, you know, do things out of the box, do the things slightly differently than everyone else. So I'm feeling this whole anti hero endeavor pre Christmas holidays.

[00:26:41] Now, I'm not saying you have to start and be the Grinch all of a sudden, and have to start to be rude to people and say no to everyone. I also don't want to say, you know, lower your expectations before the holidays, because I always feel like that is just unhelpful advice. It's like, you know, to slow down for the holidays.

[00:27:02] Yeah, thank you. Maybe next year, right? So. What I'm just thinking is the empty hero gives us a nice little visual of what we could be striving for. So it's, it's a way for us to become mindful of where we're trying to push ourselves into conventions and into things. that we believe we are meant to do, are expected of us, are just what, you know, needs to be done prior to the holidays.

[00:27:35] And then take a moment for ourselves and really think about, am I okay with this? Do I believe that That this is how things need to be done. Do I want to stick with this convention? And this can look like anything, really. It can look like, you know, buying all the gifts, buying all the presents for everyone.

[00:27:58] It can look like going to each and every holiday get together or not. It can look like, you know, meeting all the deadlines or not. So, Like I say, I don't want to tell you what to do here, because I am one who wants to get the things ready before Christmas too. I know that there are a couple of things that I'm just going to feel.

[00:28:24] Better taking off before the holidays. I will likely record some episodes during the holidays, which is absolutely fine. in the context of where I'm at. I'm having so much fun with this. So I'm already looking forward to some days and my pajamas between Christmas and New Year's. Recording some episodes and getting ready for the new year.

[00:28:45] But at this point it doesn't feel like a burden to be, it doesn't feel like work to me. It's just something that I'm really looking forward to, to get some downtime and, get better at what I'm doing here. But at the same time. There are some things where I don't want to stick with the conventions where I'm okay to take a different path.

[00:29:11] And what this looks like for me this year, for example, is I'm not going to all the Christmas gatherings. I'm not, you know, I'm not going to every single party that offers itself to me. And I'm also not going to every work gathering around the holidays. Now I'm going to pick a couple of them. and I want to connect with my team.

[00:29:36] I want to make sure I spend time with those. I spend a lot of quality time with throughout the year. But I'm definitely going to be canceling some meetings this week and next week to truly get ready for the holidays and say no to a couple of things that I feel are not really meant to be in my calendar right now.

[00:29:57] And whether or not this is something that you have the freedom to do in your job or in your career, I want you to take a close look at your calendar because chances are there's a couple of things in there that are nice to have at this point in the year. And you might want to take. the, you know, the, the, the complete opposite approach of like going to all, you know, the pre Christmas team things, and the virtual Christmas sessions, and, you know, not do some of the business meetings and, choose to connect at this point in the year, choose to connect with some of the people and coworkers you didn't spend much time with this year.

[00:30:35] That's absolutely okay. So whatever it is. Do what suits you. Be the antihero. Do not stick with conventions that are pushed on you by, you know, whoever it is, whether it's your, corporate organization, whether it is, you know, society or, you know, your, kind of personal circle, don't do it. Be the antihero.

[00:31:03] The antihero can be so, so cool. And I'm here to tell you, it can feel It can feel very freeing and it can feel very, very good to start doing something for yourself and to get a little bit of time back for you, to stay sane in the process and to make sure that you put some boundaries up if and when they're needed. All right. Well, you know, I already feel better. I feel like. This is exactly the type of advice that I can really use right now, because it's not the usual kind of things that you hear around these, this time of year, it will definitely help you boost your confidence. It will definitely help you build in some time that is going to feel good and rewarding.

[00:32:00] It's going to help you get some time back. It's going to help you feel sane. And it's going to help you stand up for yourself before the holidays and reconnect with who you are, what you really want, how you feel about conventions and what you're going to do instead. So I hope that you take some, you know, little nuggets of wisdom out of this episode and that you can use some of it.

[00:32:27] in this week and into the next week where you are, you know, in the hamster wheel of getting it all done and getting things across the line. So that's where it's at. We honor the crazy cows and we try to, you know, grab some of the things that are helpful for us. and get some of the advice that we might not get everywhere.

[00:32:52] and, you know, be able to do something that is truly helpful for us. Now, thank you again for tuning in. I am really excited for you to be on this journey with me and I can't wait to hear from you next time.