You're listening to the Reconnection Rescue Podcast for mothers and daughters with your host, Brittney Scott. A podcast where we process all things mother daughter relationships and the direct effect it has on the relationships we hold as adults. Hey, y'all and welcome to the first episode of this podcast. I'd like to spend the next few minutes, allowing you to get to know me a bit. And learn some of my background. Before we dive into. Mother-daughter relationships and mother wounds. I have a bachelor's degree in psychology and a master's degree in clinical mental health counseling. And I hold a license. To be a therapist in two states. When I first started my career, I wasn't working with. Mother wounds and mother-daughter relationships. But over time, As I'm helping my clients to understand their trauma, their anxiety, or just the things that are. Plaguing them or just bothering them in their life. My focus has always been. Finding the root of the issue. And then once we know the root doing something about that. So taking a very solution focused approach to. What was the cause of what is going on? As I was helping women get down to the root of what was plaguing them today. I'd say about 70% of them. Determined that their mom was at the center of whatever memory we were coming to, whatever it was, the trigger. That was setting off the issue of their life today. And. I was getting stuck as a therapist, so I knew, okay, we got here, we know the issue. We know the situation. We know the center of the story. we've dropped down far enough. And now we know that the center of the story is your mom. And we're working with a mother wound. And from there, I wasn't really sure what to do or how to guide them through that. And so I set off on. This long learning journey of truly understanding mother, daughter, relationships, understanding. Why they happen, how they happen and understanding exactly what a mother wound is and how it's showing up for women. And that is how I began my work with mother wounds and helping women. Understand their own and what to do about it. I look at healing, the mother wound from a few different aspects. The first one would be a mother and a daughter working together to repair or reconnect the relationship. And that would mean there. They start their work together and they finished their work together. They are truly working. With one another. And a therapist or a coach to help them get through whatever broke down their relationship and what has been keeping them apart. It. Means the mom taking accountability. For the things that hurt her daughter, it means the mom and daughter understanding each other's story. And it also means the mom understanding. How a relationship with her daughter changes over time and accepting those changes. So that they can continue to have a relationship at each stage that a mother and daughter go through. The second one would be a daughter working alone. An adult woman healing, a mother wound alone. With the hopes of. Remaining in relationship with her mom. But in a way that suits her best in a way that keeps her safe. And a way that she enforces boundaries and feels good about enforcing them. And then the third way would be a daughter. Working through a mother wound. And working through the grief of being a stranger from her mom. I think each of those requires. Different. Approaches. Different levels of understanding and. Different needs of each of those women. Each of those women are not. Walking away with the same outcome. They're not walking away. With the same even level of healing. It's all it's going to look different for each of them. And because I believe those three lanes exist in the mother wound space. I don't think that we can all talk about. A mother wound in a way that completely. Demonizes. The mother. I hope that makes sense. I am privileged and have the luxury of being able to do this work with my mom alongside me. I don't have to do it alone and learn how to set boundaries that keep me safe with her. And I don't have to do this. Through a lens of grief of having to be a stranger from my mom. So I understand that that first one is a luxury that some women get and some would love to have, and they don't because their mom is either uninterested or is. too dangerous to remain in a relationship with. From my perspective, there are moms who do not deserve a relationship with their daughter. And the daughter. Is not safe with them. The daughter. I should run as fast away from the mess she can. And she should be a strange too, because not being a stranger. I would mean. Harm. Maybe physical harm may be emotional harm, but it would mean harm to remain in that relationship. I think there are women who. Are safe to remain in their relationship with their mom, but need boundaries in order to not lose herself. To not make her life, her moms to not give up who she wants to be in order to keep her mom happy. And to remain. Really to remain happy with decisions that she makes for her own life. And then I think there are moms who. Made mistakes. Who, who messed up along the way, who did her said things that were painful. To her daughter, but she has awareness of that. She's willing to apologize. She's willing to make amends and she's willing to do the work alongside her daughter. So that they can have a relationship that feels good for both of them. As I record future episodes. And as you join me in listening to. These episodes and anything else that I create around mother wounds and mother daughter relationships. I am going to talk from every aspect. I want. Whatever lane you fall in. I want you to feel. Heard and supported through this. I want stories told from each of those lanes, I want. I want to make sure that you feel. That a story that sounds like yours. Maybe, if you will join me, is yours is being told. My ultimate goal with this podcast is to leave you feeling. That you have tools. And you have guidance to have relationships that feel so good to you. Relationships that you feel. You are so happy to be a part of relationships that provide you with a level of support that you may not have experienced from your mom. And if you fall in lane one, I'll say where your mom. Is willing to apologize as willing to make changes is willing to properly and fully do this work in support of you with you. Then I hope that you walk away with a new reconnected reestablish relationship with your mom. I want you to know that their safety and sisterhood, their safety and relationships that you choose to be a part of. And that you can have the relationships that bring you joy. I want you to create new attachment styles. I want you to feel so confident in your voice that you use it to set boundaries and enforce them without being afraid. And I want you to not be a people pleaser anymore. When I first started talking about mother-daughter relationships online. My mom, let me know that she of course saw my post and saw what I was posting. And then she did some reflection to wonder. Okay, how did I hurt Brittney in this way? Is she talking about me? What, what did I do wrong? Where did I mess up? What do I need to say to her? Like she, she was reading my post with reflection on what she needed to do different. And so if you're a mom listening to this and you have an adult daughter, or you have a teenage daughter who will be an adult soon, like. I hope that you also take away from some of this. What maybe you can do differently or how you can have some greater awareness into your relationship with your own daughter. How you can show up differently for her, how you. Can make sure that you're showing up in a way that feels fully supportive for her. Okay, this is supposed to be about me. So I am. The eldest daughter. My mom is the eldest daughter. My grandma is the oldest daughter and I am raising a daughter. So I understand the weight of. What I do today. And how it can affect my daughter for the longterm. I. Understand the women that I have come from their stories. And what's been passed down. And this work is so, so important to me. Because. Women shouldn't feel stuck. Or afraid to be in relationship with other women because of pain. They felt from their mother. Like, I don't think that's fair. And. I think that that desperately needs to change. So that women can truly have a community of other women that support and love them. Deep that support and love them out loud. That show up for them. And that make them feel safe so that all of their other relationships and other areas of their life. Can feel good because they have this community to come back to where they will gain support and where they will gain love and, and guidance. And it makes me sad to see women's struggle and friendships, and to see women not have a community of other women. And. I really think that's a disservice. And so I want to be a part of the change for that. Okay. So let's see, let's throw out some random facts about me because the whole point of this episode was to get to know me a bit. I have a three, almost four year old daughter. Um, so, I mean, new were mom. Um, I am married. I have. A best friend that I met in seventh. Grade who we still have a great relationship today. Um, Pasta and potatoes. I don't think I need to explain that. Um, I bake and decorate sugar cookies. In my spare time. Um, it helps. I love being creative in that way. It kind of gets my brain out of the. The stress of running a business and the emotional. Toll that being a therapist takes. And so creating cookie art is really fun for me and expressive and. Keeps my creative juices flowing. Um, I'm a sister. I have siblings. I can't swim, but I would love to learn how to do more than just stand in the water. Um, Oh, that's what I got for now. Those are some random facts about me. But if you've made it to the end of this episode, I'm really glad to have you here. I am. Excited to continue this and to share my knowledge into. To be a support person for other women and to work on building a community for other women to have. And. Yeah, I hope that I can be a part of change that reduces the amount of women that are carrying a mother wound.