1 00:00:24,345 --> 00:00:28,665 Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Wedding Lounge podcast. 2 00:00:28,665 --> 00:00:34,585 This is part two of our questions from you guys, and we had so many lovely questions in, 3 00:00:34,585 --> 00:00:39,945 we couldn't fit them all into one of our episodes, so we've chose to split it into two parts. 4 00:00:39,945 --> 00:00:43,945 And again, much like last time, we haven't really prepped for this in a while, 5 00:00:43,945 --> 00:00:47,705 so we're just going off the seat of our - what is the frame by the seat of our panel? 6 00:00:47,705 --> 00:00:54,105 Yep, that's it. Let's get straight to it. This is someone who is getting married, 7 00:00:54,105 --> 00:01:00,025 their four-month before their wedding. What should they be prioritising right now? 8 00:01:00,025 --> 00:01:05,945 This is kind of almost in the little lower period. Yeah, I think it should be - that should be the time 9 00:01:05,945 --> 00:01:10,825 that you're either sending out your invitations or you're starting to get your RSVPs in, 10 00:01:10,825 --> 00:01:15,465 so that is the time when you can start thinking about the table planning and getting all your 11 00:01:15,465 --> 00:01:21,145 guests lists together, and that should be the focus, the dietary requirements, things like that. 12 00:01:21,145 --> 00:01:26,905 Interestingly, I hadn't appreciated how much importance some of my clients placed on 13 00:01:26,905 --> 00:01:33,145 the dietary options for their wedding, rather than just choosing a single main - obviously, 14 00:01:33,145 --> 00:01:36,825 there's a place out there where you can choose - your guests can choose multiple options and they 15 00:01:36,825 --> 00:01:42,425 pick which one they want to meet, but if you are choosing a meal, which I personally think is 16 00:01:42,425 --> 00:01:47,785 better, but that's a personal preference, a lot of my clients keep going, well, what are the 17 00:01:47,785 --> 00:01:51,785 dietaries going to meet? What's the vegetarian option? I'm just like, I don't know, should we let the 18 00:01:51,785 --> 00:01:55,785 caterers come up with something when we know the dietary requirements? People seem to want to know 19 00:01:55,785 --> 00:02:00,825 further in advance than that. Yeah, so this is the sort of time where you will be possibly like 20 00:02:00,825 --> 00:02:07,465 checking about that. And the other thing I think you can start thinking about this point is 21 00:02:07,465 --> 00:02:12,905 pulling everything together, starting to get your timings start, you know, you can start having 22 00:02:12,905 --> 00:02:17,065 the discussions about what time your fair make-up needs is going to happen. Things you can start 23 00:02:17,065 --> 00:02:21,145 pulling that information together, but you're right, it is that. You can't reach everyone, because 24 00:02:21,145 --> 00:02:25,705 obviously when you first get engaged, you need to focus on booking venue, caterers, 25 00:02:25,705 --> 00:02:32,265 trocfer, entertainment, florists. And then you think there's like a gap where they don't need to 26 00:02:32,265 --> 00:02:36,345 be in contact with you daily. The other thing you could be doing is personal things for yourselves. 27 00:02:36,345 --> 00:02:42,505 Yeah, I feel by that point, if you are someone who is quite conscious of their physical 28 00:02:42,505 --> 00:02:49,305 appearance, that is the point where you want to hit a certain body shape and stay. 29 00:02:49,305 --> 00:02:53,385 You don't want to be losing any more weight leading up to the wedding, you don't want to be gaining 30 00:02:53,385 --> 00:02:56,665 any more weight leading up to the wedding or getting more muscular or losing more muscle. 31 00:02:56,665 --> 00:03:02,105 Anything like that, you don't want to be changing between then and the wedding day. So after that, 32 00:03:02,105 --> 00:03:08,665 it's focusing about maintenance. Things like if you're trying to get your skin in better condition. 33 00:03:08,665 --> 00:03:15,225 Yes, yeah. Figuring out your skin care, because you have enough time between then and the wedding 34 00:03:15,225 --> 00:03:21,145 to let everything lead in. You might be having your hair in makeup trials, because I think, 35 00:03:21,145 --> 00:03:25,065 I know some brides have them really far in advance, but a lot of people that I work with 36 00:03:25,065 --> 00:03:29,545 is sort of back in touch about six months before to then put you in. But interestingly as well, 37 00:03:29,545 --> 00:03:35,385 hair, hair stylist, especially, length of hair is quite an important one. So yeah, going for a big 38 00:03:35,385 --> 00:03:40,665 chop before your wedding day is not a helpful thing to do. That's kind of the point that that's the 39 00:03:40,665 --> 00:03:45,065 point where you want to then maintain how you are, unless anything drastic happens. Obviously, 40 00:03:45,065 --> 00:03:50,425 go for a bit, but that's what I've said. That is the time to focus on you and preparing yourself 41 00:03:50,425 --> 00:03:54,505 mentally and physically for your wedding. And because then in the last sort of three months, 42 00:03:54,505 --> 00:03:58,745 it's finalising all the small details of everyone going back to those supplies that you've booked. 43 00:03:58,745 --> 00:04:02,745 Yeah, and making sure the finalising the timings and the details and then your hotswap. 44 00:04:03,385 --> 00:04:10,185 Interestingly, the same person has also asked what does a well planned wedding day feel like behind 45 00:04:10,185 --> 00:04:17,385 the scenes? I personally think this varies so much. Like a swan? Yeah. No, I would say behind the scenes, 46 00:04:17,385 --> 00:04:23,945 a well planned wedding day behind the scenes still feel non-stop. It feels non-stop, but it feels 47 00:04:23,945 --> 00:04:30,425 like organised chaos. Yes. Do you see what I mean? There is so much going on, but everything has a 48 00:04:30,425 --> 00:04:36,745 purpose and is well planned and is executed as it should be, but there's just a lot of moving parts 49 00:04:36,745 --> 00:04:41,625 and a lot of cogs are turning all at the same time. And it goes to peaks and troughs, I don't know 50 00:04:41,625 --> 00:04:44,505 if you'll find that. There's definitely a few times, isn't it? I like getting things ready for 51 00:04:44,505 --> 00:04:49,785 ceremony. And then once people are back and enjoying the drinks reception, it's kind of finalising 52 00:04:49,785 --> 00:04:55,065 the wedding breakfast place. Yeah. Most of that's done beforehand. And it really also, I feel like, 53 00:04:55,065 --> 00:04:59,705 what does it feel like behind the scenes? It depends on so many things, if it's just an 54 00:04:59,705 --> 00:05:05,385 event you, if your ceremony location is like right to your marquee or wedding breakfast location. 55 00:05:05,385 --> 00:05:11,385 There's lots of different things that come into play and I just feel that actually sometimes 56 00:05:11,385 --> 00:05:15,705 behind the scenes, as you say, it's like swan, isn't it? Yeah. There's lots going on and it's not 57 00:05:15,705 --> 00:05:20,825 if it's the front lip. Graceful. Yeah, it's graceful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But as long as the outside 58 00:05:20,825 --> 00:05:25,465 and the guests are having a great time, that guests experience is there. Then what goes on behind 59 00:05:25,465 --> 00:05:31,065 the scenes and the speed at which everything is moving there doesn't, as long as that does not show to 60 00:05:31,065 --> 00:05:37,865 the front. Yes, that's a huge part of it as well. It depends on team you've got and the happiness 61 00:05:37,865 --> 00:05:43,145 and contentness within that team. That makes sense. And whether you've got, whether as a planner, 62 00:05:43,145 --> 00:05:47,705 yeah, whether this is a wedding with a planner or a coordinator or a wedding with a risen one, 63 00:05:47,705 --> 00:05:53,065 that would also affect how it is bouncing. Yeah, I mean, it's really interesting. So I went on a 64 00:05:54,025 --> 00:06:01,065 learning day a while ago with Susie, who we had on the show a little while ago. And she brings along 65 00:06:01,065 --> 00:06:07,865 the coffee machine. Max treats for all the suppliers. I definitely always bring foods for people. 66 00:06:07,865 --> 00:06:14,345 Because that creates that happy content team. And actually, if you don't have someone there who 67 00:06:14,345 --> 00:06:21,065 can do that, it's worth doing the like snack packs or something that you can give to your venue 68 00:06:21,065 --> 00:06:26,265 or whoever's in charge on the morning and just say, look, can you just leave this there for all the 69 00:06:26,265 --> 00:06:31,145 supplies to have? Because that will be so much more appreciated. And I think that just the work 70 00:06:31,145 --> 00:06:38,985 ethic changes when people feel appreciated. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The main thing is how the 71 00:06:38,985 --> 00:06:44,345 wedding day feels. Yeah, in front of the theme. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Not how it is going on. 72 00:06:44,345 --> 00:06:48,825 I mean, sometimes you've got your head down the back of a blooming loo. I've had my head up 73 00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:55,065 someone's dressed really out and back in literally. So yeah, it really varies on different factors, 74 00:06:55,065 --> 00:07:01,145 but it's mainly about what's out the front. Yep. That leads quite nicely into this question, 75 00:07:01,145 --> 00:07:06,745 where someone has written in asking us, how involved as planners are we in the leader versus to 76 00:07:06,745 --> 00:07:12,825 actually on the wedding day itself? Oh, it depends on what service you've offered, isn't it really? 77 00:07:12,825 --> 00:07:20,425 So go off a full plan. I feel like, well, you're in it for a year, at least. Yeah, the communication 78 00:07:20,425 --> 00:07:27,545 is 90% of the time fairly regularly speaks them once, twice, maybe three times a month. Yeah, 79 00:07:27,545 --> 00:07:33,625 at least that whole time. Like if you're talking about how involved it is with the client. Yeah, 80 00:07:33,625 --> 00:07:38,425 that's what I would say. And then obviously you've got so much more going on around. Yeah. 81 00:07:38,425 --> 00:07:45,945 So as a full time wedding planner takes on eight to ten full plans a year. Yeah. So that should give 82 00:07:45,945 --> 00:07:52,665 you an idea of how much time is spent speaking of the fly out. Yeah. On the wedding day, well, 83 00:07:52,665 --> 00:07:57,305 for Mark, he's it's very different because you're there for sort of the week before you're there 84 00:07:57,305 --> 00:08:02,585 every single day, whilst things are happening and then the day after clearing down. But a wedding day 85 00:08:02,585 --> 00:08:10,025 itself, I am, personally, first supplier in last supplier out. That to me is the most important thing 86 00:08:10,025 --> 00:08:14,505 is I'm there to greet everyone and I'm there to make sure everything goes away perfectly. Yeah, 87 00:08:14,505 --> 00:08:19,545 all by you. For full plans, yes, but on the day, they have set number of hours and then they can 88 00:08:19,545 --> 00:08:22,985 increase it. Sometimes they just want you there to laugh at the first dance. And it is really 89 00:08:22,985 --> 00:08:28,185 hard to leave it and go. But obviously I make sure that all suppliers know I'm going. Everyone knows 90 00:08:28,185 --> 00:08:32,025 what they're doing. Like if the caterers is yet to like contact the evening food, you know, 91 00:08:32,025 --> 00:08:36,505 just make sure everything's in place and everyone's happy before you go. But you do prefer it with 92 00:08:36,505 --> 00:08:42,665 a full plan where you are there. You can even see, but I think like what's on the day like how 93 00:08:42,665 --> 00:08:48,505 well involved are you? I had a wedding last summer where I had to be in Cognito. Oh, do you remember 94 00:08:48,505 --> 00:08:54,745 that? Yeah, where the week off they said that they didn't want sort of the groom's mother to 95 00:08:54,745 --> 00:08:59,145 necessarily sort of be aware that they'd hired a wedding planner. So it was very hard for me. I had 96 00:08:59,145 --> 00:09:04,345 to kind of do what I needed to do, but also try and stick a bit. So things like I didn't wait 97 00:09:04,345 --> 00:09:08,905 outside the front of the church for the bride. I sat inside to make sure I wasn't, you know, 98 00:09:08,905 --> 00:09:12,505 I kind of poked my head around so she was kind of made sure she was okay, but for the organ 99 00:09:12,505 --> 00:09:17,145 even sort of sort of playing her in, I just missed the vicar to it because I was trying to keep out 100 00:09:17,145 --> 00:09:22,185 the way of it. It does depend on like client preference as well. Some people may request that 101 00:09:22,185 --> 00:09:26,745 you're a bit more in the background and others are more than happy for you to interact with guests. 102 00:09:26,745 --> 00:09:32,105 Yeah, I always feel like you should be fairly fly on the wall. Yes, available to those or when 103 00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:36,905 they need you, like you're constantly there. Yeah, but not necessarily. Yeah, not sat back in the 104 00:09:36,905 --> 00:09:44,825 back of the marquee. Yeah, having a snack, you're really good. I don't think that ever happened. 105 00:09:44,825 --> 00:09:48,905 No, I always take rubbishy food. That's because my mouth and just like a walk ground, 106 00:09:48,905 --> 00:09:54,825 you know, like eating cookie. By the time I'm back out the front, it's like your next question is, 107 00:09:54,825 --> 00:10:00,665 how do you keep couples calm when plans change or things don't go exactly to schedule? 108 00:10:00,665 --> 00:10:07,465 Me personally, I make people wear beforehand during the planning that things may not go exactly 109 00:10:07,465 --> 00:10:12,985 as we have planned, you know, a speech move around or you know, it's raining so the confetti shot 110 00:10:12,985 --> 00:10:18,505 can't quite happen outside the church, but I think as a planner, it's making sure that your couples 111 00:10:18,505 --> 00:10:23,145 feel confident knowing that if anything does arise, you will be dealing with it. I've had so many 112 00:10:23,145 --> 00:10:27,945 people say that they didn't even know things had gone wrong because they've dealt with beforehand. 113 00:10:27,945 --> 00:10:32,265 So I think actually, you know, having a planner or coordinator who can deal with these things 114 00:10:32,265 --> 00:10:38,425 before they become a couple isn't even not calm because the couple, there's no calm in the couple 115 00:10:38,425 --> 00:10:43,305 of things. Yeah, you've sorted the situation. Yeah, unless it's something that directly involves them, 116 00:10:43,305 --> 00:10:51,465 like my bride last summer, when she arrived for the ceremony, she stood on a load of plums. 117 00:10:51,465 --> 00:10:58,185 I was falling off the tree and so the bottom of her dress was like I had all these red blobs all over it. 118 00:10:58,185 --> 00:11:02,665 She walked into the ceremony, it's only went fine and she noticed it afterwards, but in your wedding 119 00:11:02,665 --> 00:11:08,185 pack, yeah, you've got something to deal with that. And you're there, you've got the solution already, 120 00:11:08,185 --> 00:11:13,225 it's like doing a risk assessment, isn't it? Yeah, you essentially, you are one giant risk assessment. 121 00:11:13,225 --> 00:11:18,745 Yeah, exactly. And we have done an episode on our kit bags recently, so I'm going to give you some 122 00:11:18,745 --> 00:11:22,825 top tips and what to have to handle on the day to deal with them, I think, if you don't have a planner 123 00:11:22,825 --> 00:11:27,465 or a coordinator. If you have to harm a couple down, you tell them it's in hand, you tell them what 124 00:11:27,465 --> 00:11:31,065 the solution is, you don't want to be going to them with a problem, unless you want to be coming to 125 00:11:31,065 --> 00:11:36,745 them with a solution and be like, what has happened? Would you like, we are doing this to solve it? 126 00:11:36,745 --> 00:11:40,745 You don't even want to give them the options really, you don't want to say, this is what we're doing to 127 00:11:40,745 --> 00:11:47,785 solve it. And it's being handled. Yeah, I've had, I was coordinating the wedding for a friend of us 128 00:11:47,785 --> 00:11:54,185 who had planned one but wasn't there. And the ovens just didn't give enough power for the chefs. 129 00:11:54,185 --> 00:11:57,705 So in the end, we actually just had to swap the speeches around instead of doing mains and then 130 00:11:57,705 --> 00:12:01,465 speech. We have to do speech first and the couple, you know, I just said food's not quite ready yet, 131 00:12:01,465 --> 00:12:06,025 should we just do your speeches first? And I'm like, oh yeah, sure, whatever. And this is also, 132 00:12:06,025 --> 00:12:11,065 I've had this conversation recently. Well, I'm not sure I quite like the order of the days printed 133 00:12:11,065 --> 00:12:17,065 on a wedding day. No, I actually, I advise to not do that. Things do, and you don't want, 134 00:12:17,065 --> 00:12:22,025 you'll get to know something for slightly 10 minutes later or five minutes earlier or first 135 00:12:22,025 --> 00:12:27,625 once happened before or after cake, if it wasn't documented there. I am very anti-anticipant when 136 00:12:27,625 --> 00:12:33,385 they have times. Yes, it's like the worst thing you could possibly do, like having a time and then 137 00:12:33,385 --> 00:12:38,185 what's going to be happening. So you guess then that clock watching, it's three o'clock. Let's go sit 138 00:12:38,185 --> 00:12:43,145 down for our meal. Yeah, I think leave them to enjoy the day and enjoy the day and create a 139 00:12:43,145 --> 00:12:48,105 guest experience that flows beautifully and you don't need to worry about any of that. You know, 140 00:12:48,105 --> 00:12:52,345 if that's you're doing something, it's totally throwing the whole structure of the day on its head. 141 00:12:52,345 --> 00:12:55,625 Most people know it's going to be a ceremony and you're going to have some sort of drinks and 142 00:12:55,625 --> 00:13:00,105 nibbles, then a meal of some sort and then evening party, you know, unless you're doing it totally 143 00:13:00,105 --> 00:13:04,825 on its head, then they don't need to know. No, they're there to enjoy the day as your guests. 144 00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:09,385 Yeah, and I don't know, well, this is maybe just me, but I always know that I'm going to wedding. 145 00:13:09,385 --> 00:13:13,785 I don't know when I'm next going to eat kind of day. Yeah, I like to eat snacks, do you pack snacks? 146 00:13:13,785 --> 00:13:19,465 Oh my god, you do. I want to eat in the car. I'd be like, right, Joby, if we'd go somewhere far, 147 00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:24,105 we went down to my cousin's wedding club show, we're like, right, quick, stop. Change into our outfits 148 00:13:24,105 --> 00:13:27,465 because we've been in like two jeans in the car. I was like, quick, shove like a sausage roll in, 149 00:13:27,465 --> 00:13:33,625 like, I'm free to go. I'm like, oh my god, hello, Joby, go, it's me. Yeah, that's because I'm not, 150 00:13:33,625 --> 00:13:38,185 if I'm hungry, I'm going to be an upset guest and that's not the trouble's fault. Like you know, 151 00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:42,185 at weddings, like, can a pace come round? I am the one watching the waitress this. 152 00:13:42,185 --> 00:13:44,825 Mm-hmm, and you're probably not at the circle, don't you? Yeah, yeah. 153 00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:48,745 For deafening. Welcome to waitress in. Hello, we would like all the can a pace. 154 00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:54,265 Yeah, I know, that is me, but I also expect to use a bit of common sense and know that at a wedding, 155 00:13:54,265 --> 00:13:58,585 like, wedding breakfast, it isn't lunch, it's not dinner, it's like somewhere late afternoon and evening. 156 00:13:58,585 --> 00:14:03,225 Yeah, that's true in France. Oh, is this? It's like a seven-eighth-a-clock wedding. 157 00:14:03,225 --> 00:14:06,825 Well, it's like, yeah, seven-eighth-a-clock. Meal. But then you support a clock service. Yes, you 158 00:14:06,825 --> 00:14:11,545 would have had lunch, yeah, exactly. Exactly. Oh, what else have we got? What are the questions? 159 00:14:11,545 --> 00:14:17,465 We're so grateful for everyone presenting these in. Oh, an interesting one. What's one thing 160 00:14:17,465 --> 00:14:24,265 that you always take off of a couple's plate? They don't expect. Oh, this isn't really taking 161 00:14:24,265 --> 00:14:28,345 something off someone's plate, but I always ask my couples what they want their first drink to 162 00:14:28,345 --> 00:14:32,025 be and if they want a plate of can a pace. Now, it's not necessarily taking something off their plate, 163 00:14:32,025 --> 00:14:35,305 but it's just making sure that when they've had the ceremony, whether it's arriving back at the 164 00:14:35,305 --> 00:14:40,985 drinks reception or finished the ceremony in the garden or that they're met with a drink, 165 00:14:40,985 --> 00:14:45,145 I'm like, yeah, I have a pace. So that's not necessarily taking something off their plate because 166 00:14:45,145 --> 00:14:49,545 they probably haven't thought about it, but it's just something that I like to, again, make food and drink. 167 00:14:49,545 --> 00:14:55,145 Yeah, but I think that's so important, isn't it? I think it's loads that we'll do that people don't expect. 168 00:14:55,145 --> 00:15:01,625 I don't expect. I think it's the decision for tea. Yes. I think that that is so wildly 169 00:15:01,625 --> 00:15:09,065 underestimated and when we are the ones who are bringing you a selection that isn't totally 170 00:15:09,065 --> 00:15:15,705 and utterly overwhelming, you're not having to put yourselves through hours of researching and 171 00:15:15,705 --> 00:15:22,825 speaking to people and responding to people and all of that stuff takes up so much time and mental 172 00:15:22,825 --> 00:15:28,985 capacity that you don't necessarily need to be doing. Just someone to check through things. Yeah, 173 00:15:28,985 --> 00:15:34,345 talk to, like bounce off, bounce ideas off, yeah, because otherwise it can be quite a lonely thing to do 174 00:15:34,345 --> 00:15:38,345 and actually another example, I mean, Jack and Mallory have really struggled with this, 175 00:15:38,345 --> 00:15:43,225 even though they've had us there and they've had a wedding planner for a sister-in-law there, 176 00:15:43,225 --> 00:15:49,065 they have felt that they have had to take on a lot and we're like, we are here for you to talk to, 177 00:15:49,065 --> 00:15:54,265 come to us. I think it's having that person who's slightly removed from the situation. Yes, 178 00:15:54,265 --> 00:15:59,945 that is very very true. I think that plays a big part in it as well, like I had one of my best friends, 179 00:15:59,945 --> 00:16:04,185 her friend is getting married and I said like, you know, she wants to message me, like she just message 180 00:16:04,185 --> 00:16:08,185 me and she sent me a long voice note the other day, like I do know her, it sent me a long voice note 181 00:16:08,185 --> 00:16:11,465 about what to do with her bridesmaids and how many she should have and she was like, I don't know who 182 00:16:11,465 --> 00:16:15,865 to talk to because I can't talk to my friends because if I suggest this idea, then I don't do it, 183 00:16:15,865 --> 00:16:21,305 they'll be like, her, so she's like, oh, go just bounce ideas off and you know, and that's true, 184 00:16:21,305 --> 00:16:26,345 like you don't want to be talking about ideas you've got to include your mum or not include your 185 00:16:26,345 --> 00:16:31,625 stepdad or something, who your family, like you need to talk to people outside of that. Yeah, 186 00:16:31,625 --> 00:16:35,865 that isn't necessarily just your partner. Yes, sometimes they might be like too invested as well. 187 00:16:35,865 --> 00:16:41,865 Yeah, that was a really good question actually. I like that one. And we have a couple here related to 188 00:16:41,865 --> 00:16:47,545 timelines, so sort of how about my favourite, you know, a timeline, so like how do you build a realistic 189 00:16:47,545 --> 00:16:52,585 timeline that like still feels like relaxed and also like what are the most common timing mistakes 190 00:16:52,585 --> 00:16:59,545 people say? The most common timing mistakes is always not allowing time for your guests to move 191 00:16:59,545 --> 00:17:03,305 from space to space. Yes, just expecting that one thing is going to happen immediately at the 192 00:17:03,305 --> 00:17:10,425 art world. So if your drinks reception is an hour and a half long and it's from 2.30 till 4 o'clock, 193 00:17:10,425 --> 00:17:15,385 then thinking that your meal is going to start at 4 o'clock. Yes, it is not. Even if you've got 194 00:17:15,385 --> 00:17:20,825 80 guests, it takes time. Yeah, it takes 20 minutes for everyone to sit down. I always think people forget 195 00:17:20,825 --> 00:17:26,185 about travel. Yeah. And for that travel. Yeah, even if I just put it from, yes, a bit travel. 196 00:17:26,185 --> 00:17:30,665 One space to another is. And people don't do what you want them to do. No, they never do. 197 00:17:30,665 --> 00:17:35,465 Is that encouraging? Or I've had it. I had one meeting I can't think which one it was now. 198 00:17:35,465 --> 00:17:39,465 When we built in time, you know, because you're always asking people and you kind of go around and 199 00:17:39,465 --> 00:17:43,225 ask people to stop moving. One meeting, I think I literally went around and that said oh she might 200 00:17:43,225 --> 00:17:48,665 make a new way. Oh, they were in. Yeah, and I was okay though, early. Yeah, I like that. A couple 201 00:17:48,665 --> 00:17:52,585 of times actually, but they're the weddings where people are hungry. Yes, you notice that. Yeah, 202 00:17:52,585 --> 00:17:57,225 they've not been fed enough. So maybe that's the trip. Yeah, finish your canopy 15 minutes earlier. 203 00:17:57,225 --> 00:18:04,265 Yeah. And then when it comes to building a well done timeline, the big things in first and the 204 00:18:04,265 --> 00:18:09,385 little things around it. Yeah, I think we have done a whole episode on time when we haven't 205 00:18:09,385 --> 00:18:15,705 made. So do go back and listen to that. I believe it would have been early 25. We've also, 206 00:18:15,705 --> 00:18:20,185 I think when we were talking in the episode, we said if you've got like a deadline, a deadline, 207 00:18:20,185 --> 00:18:25,225 like a end of the night time. Yeah, work. That's from that. Well, you've got some big things like 208 00:18:25,225 --> 00:18:31,865 ceremony, meal, end of the evening, work, work back. It's a couple I'm working with at the moment. 209 00:18:31,865 --> 00:18:36,505 We have a venue deadline, but we started. They picked us timing for the ceremony. And then we were 210 00:18:36,505 --> 00:18:40,265 like working up and then kind of had like gap in the middle. I was like, well, we didn't really want 211 00:18:40,265 --> 00:18:45,945 that gap. I haven't thought anything sort of left in the budget to sell that gap necessarily. 212 00:18:45,945 --> 00:18:50,665 So so we've got to think backwards that you want the music to end at 11 on the door when like 213 00:18:50,665 --> 00:18:56,345 your venue allows. So work backwards from that like what sets other musicians doing. We need to look 214 00:18:56,345 --> 00:19:00,585 at two, one hours or three, four, two minutes, whatever and work back, build in the breaks and then 215 00:19:00,585 --> 00:19:05,545 think about when the music's going to start. Yeah. And then you know, go from there really. Yeah, 216 00:19:05,545 --> 00:19:08,505 because they at one point wanted to move the ceremony early and I was like, well, we've already got 217 00:19:08,505 --> 00:19:12,825 to get that week. Yeah, you don't want too much time. That lull, you love that lull. I hate that. 218 00:19:12,825 --> 00:19:20,585 Biggest fear. Yeah. So all guests lose momentum. Yeah. They just ruins the day. Definitely. 219 00:19:20,585 --> 00:19:26,425 How do you help keep couples on budget without losing the overall looking experience? That's 220 00:19:26,425 --> 00:19:31,945 quite similar to the one we sort of did before about where's money best spent. I think though that 221 00:19:31,945 --> 00:19:39,865 if you do a budget from the off, before you invest in anything, then you know what you've got to play 222 00:19:39,865 --> 00:19:45,145 with. And if you start going over in areas, you know, you've got a problem. You can put that up 223 00:19:45,145 --> 00:19:49,785 quite quickly. Whereas if you just go in and go, oh, we've found of any of the costs X amount and 224 00:19:49,785 --> 00:19:55,065 the food costs Y amount. And yeah, oh no, we've got two thousand pounds left to play with for everything. 225 00:19:55,065 --> 00:19:59,625 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're pretty rude. Yeah, frankly. Yeah. You definitely need to allocate that 226 00:19:59,625 --> 00:20:04,265 budget from the start. And we've again, we've done an episode of yeah, help you break down rough 227 00:20:04,265 --> 00:20:08,905 percentages and then tweak it. It's easily tweakable. I mean, you'll find you know that you might 228 00:20:08,905 --> 00:20:13,785 find a photographer who's 500 pounds less than you plan to see you add 500 on to plan or flowers or 229 00:20:13,785 --> 00:20:19,065 whatever's important to you. But also, once you've allocated that budget, then obviously I would say 230 00:20:19,065 --> 00:20:22,905 start with venue and catering. Yeah. Because those are things that you just can't do without. Yeah. 231 00:20:22,905 --> 00:20:29,225 And be open with the people you're speaking to. If they don't have costs on the 232 00:20:29,225 --> 00:20:33,625 website and you can't see what their costs are, when you're contacting them, I'd reach out and I'd 233 00:20:33,625 --> 00:20:39,945 say, my budget is X for this. Yeah. And that comes back. You either get in the media. I'm really sorry. 234 00:20:39,945 --> 00:20:45,385 We start totally different price point. But at least you know where you stand. Yeah. Choose 235 00:20:45,385 --> 00:20:52,345 statement. Yes. That's like seizing. Like seizing. I think that that have those things that create 236 00:20:52,345 --> 00:20:58,105 the wow factor that you are better off spending one chunk of money on something amazing than you are 237 00:20:58,105 --> 00:21:05,865 just little tipets here and there. Choose to invest wisely and concentrate it. Yes, definitely. 238 00:21:05,865 --> 00:21:10,825 I really like this one. Someone's asked about how we manage suppliers on the day so that the couple 239 00:21:10,825 --> 00:21:15,465 don't need to. And I think the key thing we've said it before is that even if you don't have a planner, 240 00:21:15,465 --> 00:21:21,065 I have someone who is a point of contact. Yes. Their phone number goes to all the suppliers so that 241 00:21:21,065 --> 00:21:26,105 the supplies lost late. They're ringing someone, your planner, your made-of-owner, whoever is 242 00:21:26,105 --> 00:21:31,945 the allocated person for you. It's like one of the biggest things how we help couples sort of deal 243 00:21:31,945 --> 00:21:36,105 with how we manage those suppliers that we don't have to. It's just being that point of contact. 244 00:21:36,105 --> 00:21:40,265 Yeah. It's always making sure. Well, I always check what the arrive of time is. Yes, 245 00:21:40,265 --> 00:21:45,305 roughly. There's always one or two that never give you one. You just have to guesstimate when they'll 246 00:21:45,305 --> 00:21:50,985 be there. You've been the point of contact in advance as well. So when they arrive, you can go to 247 00:21:50,985 --> 00:21:56,505 them and be like, "Hi, I'm Sasha. How are you?" Blah blah blah. Let me show you where you're going. 248 00:21:56,505 --> 00:22:01,945 And it's just being that confident person that knows who's coming from where that helps. 249 00:22:01,945 --> 00:22:06,105 But yeah, it's just being that point of contact for set up and enter out the day. When things change, 250 00:22:06,105 --> 00:22:10,985 if the caterers are like a hold on, the beef's not cooking like we need to, we might be like 10 minutes, 251 00:22:10,985 --> 00:22:14,665 we then communicate that to everyone. They're not having to come and tell you to then you tell 252 00:22:14,665 --> 00:22:19,785 a photographer. Yeah, or people just left in the dark. Yeah, exactly. And when speeches start, we're going 253 00:22:19,785 --> 00:22:23,385 to get photographers, get videographers, make sure they're ready. Because all these timelines are 254 00:22:23,385 --> 00:22:28,345 wonderful. Yeah. But it's not very often that they- It's six to the minute. They read them either. 255 00:22:28,345 --> 00:22:33,785 No. Well, we've gone into that before. Yeah. And so actually, it's quite helpful to go and find the 256 00:22:33,785 --> 00:22:38,105 photographer 10 minutes before the speeches are about to go start, say, right, we're going to have 257 00:22:38,105 --> 00:22:42,665 speeches in 10 minutes. That gives them time to set up as well, because those sort of things take 258 00:22:42,665 --> 00:22:48,025 me. Yeah. So you need to make sure that they're prepared in time. So if it's not you, your point of 259 00:22:48,025 --> 00:22:54,345 contact, whether that is the caterer, pass them all that information. So they can make sure they are 260 00:22:54,345 --> 00:23:00,185 in charge of the day. This one's quite funny. What's the most stressful situation you've had on 261 00:23:00,185 --> 00:23:04,265 a wedding day? And how did you handle it? I must admit, I was looking ahead at this question whilst 262 00:23:04,265 --> 00:23:09,225 you were answering that one. And one of my biggest ones was actually not a wedding. It was at that 263 00:23:09,225 --> 00:23:13,545 party for 500 people when it rained, and we were watching the weather all day, and we wanted this 264 00:23:13,545 --> 00:23:18,105 outside drinks reception. We had a backup plan in place. And then because we'd had to move some 265 00:23:18,105 --> 00:23:24,665 lighting towers, the power then tripped, luckily it was acoustic music. So it carried on. And basically, 266 00:23:24,665 --> 00:23:29,705 the rain kind of tried to ruin it, but I just went round, spoke to everyone. You know, the caterers 267 00:23:29,705 --> 00:23:37,305 came round and were doing canopies. And we just basically- I guess we fixed it by me liaising between 268 00:23:37,305 --> 00:23:42,265 all the suppliers saying, right, we're now putting this plan into place. Helping people move things, 269 00:23:42,265 --> 00:23:46,425 and just making sure the guests are enduring it. We laughed about it. You know, you can't control the 270 00:23:46,425 --> 00:23:52,105 weather. Like we had a backup plan, but it literally- the weather flipped 10 minutes before arrival. 271 00:23:52,105 --> 00:23:56,825 So everything was set up. So we had to quickly like move it. So it was just basically keeping 272 00:23:56,825 --> 00:24:02,665 morale high, I guess. I don't know. That was pretty stressful. And although we planned in advance, 273 00:24:02,665 --> 00:24:05,465 if it had actually rained down on in the afternoon, it would have probably been better, 274 00:24:05,465 --> 00:24:09,145 because then we would have just started with the weather plan, but it changed partway through. 275 00:24:09,145 --> 00:24:15,865 I've got two stressful situations. One was a photographer I worked with a few years ago, 276 00:24:15,865 --> 00:24:23,065 who did read my timelines and wanted to stick to them- to the minute. And the thing I find really 277 00:24:23,065 --> 00:24:32,745 hard is my timelines are so in detail and so scheduled. Yes. I come across as a real pirate. 278 00:24:32,745 --> 00:24:39,305 Yeah, and like Cropper, I told her, you must do this. So I try and say my emails with them. I'm just like, 279 00:24:39,305 --> 00:24:45,145 this appears very much like this, but I appreciate it is a wedding day. I will be there to guide 280 00:24:45,145 --> 00:24:49,545 everyone through this, and we'll go with the flow. Like it doesn't need to be- If the groom's in 281 00:24:49,545 --> 00:24:54,025 the toilet when it's first dance. Exactly, it's not coming without him. No, exactly. The way 282 00:24:54,025 --> 00:24:58,425 it ate 45 and should be the dance, or we're not going to force him. It needs a schedule in toilet 283 00:24:58,425 --> 00:25:03,545 breaks and my couples. Yeah. Anyway, so I had a groom turn up. So we had a range. A groom wanted 284 00:25:03,545 --> 00:25:10,185 some photos with his ushers before the wedding, but the time constraints with the photographer, 285 00:25:10,185 --> 00:25:15,225 the photographer wanted to be with the bride all the way up until she arrived at the venue for 286 00:25:15,225 --> 00:25:22,905 the ceremony. So I suggested that the photographer arrived with the bride 20 minutes half an hour later 287 00:25:22,905 --> 00:25:28,025 came to the venue, which was five minutes around the corner. First met with the groom and took 288 00:25:28,025 --> 00:25:33,865 photos with the groom. Yes, yeah. The groom was late. So the photographer was there hanging round, 289 00:25:33,865 --> 00:25:37,945 clock watching. I was just like, well, he's on his way. He'll be here when he gets there. Anyway, 290 00:25:37,945 --> 00:25:45,305 as he arrives, she was leaving. And I said, can you come and take some photos of the ushers please 291 00:25:45,305 --> 00:25:50,345 before you go? And she said, no, I need to go and be with the bride. And I'm sticking to your 292 00:25:50,345 --> 00:25:57,785 timeline, which really hurt. And I was like, but this is so out of my control. This is what the groom 293 00:25:57,785 --> 00:26:04,025 wants. And you are walking away from that situation. It was awful. I ended up taking some pictures 294 00:26:04,025 --> 00:26:09,705 of the groom, explain the situation, and the day went on. And we found another time later in the day. 295 00:26:09,705 --> 00:26:14,665 But it just, she doesn't need to do that. It was gutting. And that I found really stressful. And it 296 00:26:14,665 --> 00:26:20,265 actually, it created quite an atmosphere between the photographer and the day that was quite hard 297 00:26:20,265 --> 00:26:27,865 to break down. So it just meant that me taking any timing and any logistical decisions to her, 298 00:26:27,865 --> 00:26:34,585 which I obviously was doing, because that is my job, was just met with real resistance. She took 299 00:26:34,585 --> 00:26:40,825 the bride and groom off for an hour and a half for their couple's photos, which just left all the 300 00:26:40,825 --> 00:26:47,065 guests with nothing to do. And it just made it quite a difficult day. And when you've got a 301 00:26:47,065 --> 00:26:53,385 supply like that, there isn't willing to be part of the team, makes it very tricky and very stressful. 302 00:26:53,385 --> 00:26:57,625 Yeah. The other really stressful situation, which I think we've discussed before, was when there 303 00:26:57,625 --> 00:27:02,665 was a giant whopping hole in the middle of a dance floor in a marquee. Yeah. Which obviously we knew 304 00:27:02,665 --> 00:27:07,945 about an advance and the couple walked into the marquee that evening before to have a look when 305 00:27:07,945 --> 00:27:14,105 they went, what is that? And I was like, it's being sorted. And the next day, thank God for my mum's 306 00:27:14,105 --> 00:27:21,305 carpentry friend who gave me this whole to go in it. But my, that, that was heart wrenching as well. 307 00:27:21,305 --> 00:27:27,545 But again, was sorted and was all fine and it all goes on behind the scenes. Exactly, exactly. 308 00:27:27,545 --> 00:27:33,065 So I think that's it for questions this week. I enjoy answering questions like that. It's good fun. 309 00:27:33,065 --> 00:27:38,985 Send more in to us on Instagram as well. So if you want us to answer any, then that would be great. 310 00:27:38,985 --> 00:27:47,065 Next week we are actually talking about the role of the bridesmaid. So we look forward to catch you.