I feel like we need to talk about what it's like being an introvert in the workplace, and it feels like an obvious one for a podcast called Awfully Quiet, and I feel like we've often spoken about introversion in the workplace and how to navigate, and I. How to approach career progression, but what is it really like being an introvert at work?

And it feels so obvious that I rarely talk about it. So this is one that lived in my phone notes for the longest time, and it's all of my introvert archives and field notes, and. All of the things that over the years I've been sharing on social media and on Instagram, and I've really went into my archives of some of the posts that have really resonated and I feel like.

Just make you feel seen in a way that is beautiful. So I hope that you can take this episode and save it for when you need to be seen or when you need to express yourself and your introversion to somebody else. You can just send it on to a work friend or a colleague and say, look, this is what it feels like to be introverted.

So I hope that you can either take some notes or send this to somebody who needs to hear it, and it's just going to feel like one that enables you in the best way and helps you embrace your introversion. To a point. So where I wanna start is with a very simple explanation of what is introversion versus extroversion and where did it originate?

And it originated with somebody called Carl Young who coined the term introversion an extroversion way back when. And it is actually very simple. And the overall question is, where do you draw energy from? Is it from either your inner world? I. Or your outer world. So what does that mean? So the inner world is we, us as introverts, we draw from our inner world.

We draw from spending time alone by ourselves, thinking, reflecting. It almost to me feels like going inward and just kind of exploring. What's there, like the thoughts that come up, the creativity that comes up, the perspectives that are being shaped. It's just this beautiful, rich in a world that I feel I draw a lot of energy from.

Whereas extroverts take a lot of energy from socializing, spending time with others. They take energy from. Literally from other people and from being out in the world, socializing. And so I feel like this is the biggest difference between introverts and extroverts. Now, the second thing to understand between those two concepts is that I.

It's a spectrum between introversion and extroversion. It's not one or the other. You are not either only introverted or only extroverted, but it really is a spectrum that we all live on. And some of us might be very much in between. And this is also where this term of, an ambivert was being coined of like being in the middle between introversion and extroversion and.

I wanna bring that to life for you a little bit with a couple of examples of what an introvert is and what an extrovert is and how we're sometimes in the middle of the tool. So, for example, introverts are really good listeners. Where is extroverts are really good talkers. Now you might think to yourself, well, I'm much more of a listener than a talker, and that is true for me too.

But I can also flex and be a talker at times. I can be talkative at work. I, I can speak up and talk in meetings. I can speak in social settings, but I have much more of a strength in being a really good listener, being very attuned to. The person I speak with through the other person's thoughts, feelings, perspectives.

And I feel like being a good listener is also, it's not just sitting down and, and listening. It is really absorbing what the other person says. Not to react, but to re but to understand. And so I feel like that is what makes introverts really strong at listening. But that doesn't mean that they can't talk.

And being a good talker also doesn't mean that you can't be a good listener, but it's just where your preference lies. Another example is, and we've already touched on this, introverts. Get energy from spending time alone, spending time by themselves, and extroverts get energy from socializing. So again, this could be like, you could be either one of the two, or you could fall somewhere in the middle where you say, look, I sometimes love spending time socializing, and I do get energy from that.

But after a long day at work, after a long day of socializing and back to back meetings. I do need to get home and refuel by spending time by myself, spending time alone being in my own energy, and that is certainly true for me. Now, a third one is introverts. Very much love and thrive on deep work and focus time.

There is nothing better than Undisrupted deep work. You know, just kind of being by yourself, working on your projects and not being disturbed or anything. I love nothing more than like, noise canceling and, and working away without anyone coming in or reaching out to me on teams or asking for a quick chat or.

Do you have five minutes also on the train where the, where there's like these little sections where you can't talk or you, well, you shouldn't be talking and it's just for deep work. I feel like this is where I have where I always have the best time. Whereas for extroverts, they thrive on stimulation and group work and, chatting ideas through and thinking out loud and, you know, working things out together.

And again. I sometimes love to be in these environments too. I love nothing more than a brainstorming session or a a, a really well facilitated workshop, but if I'm honest, I thrive on, you know, deep work. This is where my comfort zone is. Definitely. And then a fourth one, I feel like. This is especially true for me too.

Introverts have a few really good friends, whereas extroverts often have a large group of friends and acquaintances. I feel like extroverts often kind of get along with everyone can speak to anyone at a party and just have the best time For me. I have a very close circle. Of friends that I feel extremely comfortable with and I can speak to and socialize with easily, doesn't take any energy out of me.

It gives me energy, but it's only a few people I have that with. And often when I'm in bigger groups and with larger amounts of people. It'll feel very draining for me. It'll take a lot of energy from me. It doesn't mean that I can't enjoy myself, but, I often do need to follow that up with time by myself back at home in my own little bubble and environment.

I. So these examples kind of paint a picture of that spectrum of like, you know, being a good listener, taking energy from time alone, deep work, a few really, really good friends versus the talking, socializing, stimulation group work, large group of friends and. I feel like when it comes to understanding your personality, it is really important to understand where you are on that spectrum.

And, it could be worth taking something like the MBTI test, and there are free versions of that on the internet that I find extremely useful to understand how much of an introvert are you versus an extrovert? And this can change a little over time for me. I'm very much, I think at the, at this time, I'm like 70% introvert and 30% extrovert, which does feel extremely true for me.

But it is really good to have that understanding, to understand how you work, what is your preference, and that doesn't mean you can't stretch beyond your preference, but to understand the types of situations that give you energy, the types of things that you can use tofu, and to regain energy versus the types of situations that will take energy away from you is extremely important to know and understand.

In your work life and as certainly as you move up, as you get more responsibility, as you take on leadership roles and positions, because you need to be aware and able to manage your energy to a point where you can be effective and where you can also role model some of that to others. Because I feel like energy management is a skill that we all need to build.

It's a skill of of, you know, well the present and the future. And knowing what gives you energy and what takes energy from you is a very important part of that. Now, as I flipped through my archives, I found this one post that, I've honestly used quite a few times because it felt so, so meaningful, and it was almost like a little bit of a manifesto of what it, of what introversion feels like to me.

And a lot of my audience, I feel like, because. To me, the picture is often twofold. Yes, I am an introvert. Yes, I take energy from being, from spending time alone and by myself. I'm very introspective. I'm very much in our world.but I'm also deeply ambitious. I'm competitive. I'm ambitious. I'm an Enneagram three, which means I'm an an achiever, a performer.

I very much want a career. But I have found that I had to sort of pave my own way towards that, that I couldn't go about it the same way as the extroverts do. And so I've written this little text that I wanna read to you that maybe resonates with you too. And it's about an introvert's idea of a fulfilling career.

You're not after a job that pays the bills. You're after a career that plays to your strengths and what you do really well. You're ambitious, but at the same time aware of your energy and social battery. You like to work on high level projects that have the potential to make a real difference. You don't mind the spotlight every once in a while, but there is nothing, nothing better than coming back home.

Putting on a baked shirt and eating dinner on the couch. Well, this is, I mean, it's me. This is very me. I. But it might be you as well. And I feel like there is so much power in writing your own little manifesto of like, what does a fulfilling career look like for you? What does success look like for you?

Because that is very much what success would look like for me. It's like going above and beyond, stretching out of my comfort zone, growing in my professional career throughout the day, but then coming home. And then completely changing the vibe. It's like, you know, going, switching into comfortable clothes, sitting on the couch, being just by myself or with the dog or with my husband, and just kind of being in my own little bubble to refuel and, and yeah, and, and just have this, this pattern break from, from my workday and from my work life.

And so if you haven't yet, write your own manifesto. Write, write out your own idea of what it looks like to be fulfilled and and to have and feel success. And then you can obviously also use that to shape some of your workday and some of your work life. I often feel like we as introverts. That was certainly true for me.

I used to hide some of my preferences and some of my introspection because I thought that that wasn't. What they looked for in corporate, that they looked for outgoing people, for people who, you know, thrive on back to back meetings and on coffee chats and on speaking to everyone out in the open office space and having little connects here and there, and honestly doing it all and being the, you know, the socializing type of person.

So I, I kind of hid that I was. Introverted and that that I needed time by myself to refuel. And so what I found out for myself is that my energy is just different across different kinds of meetings. So for example, what I thrive on is one-to-one meetings or meetings with like. Like even maybe two, three people.

That's the kind of meeting that gives me energy where I feel like I can easily speak up, I can easily voice my opinion, share my perspective. We can get work done. It's, effective. It's productive. That is the type of meeting that gives me energy. Now, if there is a little more, like if it's like a 5, 6, 7.

A person meeting it, I can already sense that. It's becoming tough for me because then I have to spend a lot more time like being aware of everyone else in the room. I often try to make sure that everybody else gets a say and gets to share their opinion, and it becomes a little bit trickier and it takes more energy from me.

Now, meetings that almost drain my energy are big. Town hall, all hands meetings, sometimes workshops with many, many people where everyone, you know, tries to get a word in and tries to get a say. So these kind of big forums often take a lot of energy out of me. Now, again, doesn't mean that I can't do them.

Doesn't mean that I won't, but I'm just aware that this type of meeting is going to drain me. And so what I do is I try to keep a good balance of meetings that I know will give me energy and meetings that I know will take a lot of energy from me. I will often schedule some time to disconnect after big workshop meetings or big, you know, town hall all hands meetings to like either, you know, go for a lunch, walk, spend some time working.

By myself doing some deep work focus time, some, some work that I just need to think for myself for. A couple minutes or maybe like an hour or two following a big workshop meeting. I'll also do that whenever I am on like offsite meetings where it's like multi-day meetings or conference meetings where you're exposed to large groups on a daily basis.

I was just in London earlier this year where we've had. A huge workshop that spent a couple of days. So I would book myself a workout class at 6:00 AM in the morning. And some people might think to themselves, look the, this feels like overkill, or this feels like, you know, if you have to socialize so much, why?

Then also go for a workout so early. But to me that was of time for myself. I felt like I did something for myself. I moved my body. It's the type of workout class where you don't speak to anyone else, but you're still in the energy of other people, like either a Barry class or a cycling class, or you know, a cheeky reformer Pilates class in London.

I love nothing more than being in the energy of other people without having to speak to them. So that feels like the ultimate hack for me. Before a busy workday or like these big workshop meetings, you just need to know how to manage your energy and how to refuel after having some of those meetings that just, yeah, you know, are going to take up a lot of your social battery.

And then where I wanna, what I wanna leave you with is a couple of myths that I really wanna bust, and I hope I already did that job with this podcast and with this show and with some of my content on social media. But I feel like they come up time and time again, and I feel like if you type introvert into like.

A stock photo, bank, or even if you, if you use Canva or Google, whatever it is, or if you ask t what an introvert is, you will get back a very old, very stereotypical perspective of what an introvert is. And it's often, if you, if you look for images, it's often like. Somebody who is like sad, hunched over, like hunched over shoulders, like in their own little world, sad face, like somebody sitting in a box somewhere, somebody completely distant, cold, not approachable.

And it's always this typical, like introverts are shy, they don't wanna connect, they are sad, they're just by themselves. They're very quiet. And I would love nothing more than those, that image to change. Like not every introvert is a gray mouse and is sad. No. We are all on a spectrum and there is so much more to introspective personality than.

The quiet, distant part, and I do appreciate that from the outside, it often looks like that. It often looks like quiet, closed off, distant, but what's happening for us? It's like colors and rainbows and like that rich inner world often feels to me like this rollercoaster of like so many interesting thoughts, so much perspective, so much creativity.

So for me it doesn't feel like that at all. And that's why I feel like this stereotype needs to change. Introverts or introspection is ex an extremely competitive and advantageous. Trait to have. It offers and lends itself to so many rich skills and leadership styles that we need in the workspace. That reflection, that empathy, that, you know, being able to listen well is such a rich, powerful leadership trade that we need more of in the workplace, especially in the corporate world.

there is a lot of strategic thinking. There is a lot of foresight. There is a lot of being attuned to other people's needs and feelings that. Offers for some great facilitation that offers for great insight, that offers for out of the box innovative strategic thinking. So there is so much that introverts bring to the table that is often overlooked.

Misunderstood. Just because the way we carry it looks different than for extroverts. We don't, you know, say out loud every kind of thought that comes to mind. And we, we'll often wait for a really long time before we share an idea, before we feel like it is ready for it to, you know, get out into the world.

And so, three little myths that I wanna bust is, one is introverts are shy. Not every introvert is shy. That is just not true. There are also extroverts who are shy.I am certainly shy in some situations. I am not at all shy in other situations, and I feel like we, I. Need to ditch that as, a misconception and, you know, really look for the nuance in our personalities is absolutely okay if you are shy.

I think there's, there's nothing bad about being shy, but not every introvert is, and often we perceive. Somebody who is, less outspoken and is somebody who is a little quiet in a meeting or at work as shy, and that often is just not the case. The second is introverts are bad at networking, at connecting, at collaborating.

Not true at all. We've had some brilliant guests on the podcast who have actually brought to life quite beautifully that introverts are excellent. Relationship builders, excellent networkers. It's just a different setting than you would normally think about networking. So we're great at building one-to-one connections.

We're great at asking genuine questions, at making experiences and conversations, feel real authentic and make these connections, something that stands a test of time that is not just an acquaintance, but. We really built to last when it comes to relationships, and this is so, so meaningful in workplace settings.

In careers because careers are built on relationships with other people. Careers are built on being able to build that inner circle, that network, and it doesn't have to be huge at all. It has to be genuine. It has to feel like you, and once you find what works for you, it can be so, so powerful. So no, introverts are not bad at networking.

They just do it differently and honestly, they do it better. And then the third one. That feels very close to my heart is that introverts don't wanna be leaders. Introverts are not interested in career progression, are not interested in career growth, and I am pretty sure that there are introverts who aren't and there are extroverts who aren't.

And that is absolutely okay. But I wanna specifically speak to the introverts. Who are interested in having a career, who do want a fulfilling career, a meaningful career? Who are seeking for meaning and who? Who do wanna be passionate about what they want to, what they do in their work life? To me personally, it is extremely important.

I recognize that my career, if I'm lucky, is 40 plus years of my life. So I wanna make it count. I wanna make sure that I do something that inspires me, that challenges me, that helps me grow, that helps me meet hugely exciting people, that has me out of my comfort zone to an extent that I can still enjoy and is just rich, beautiful, and big in a way.

That is my version of what success looks like. It's like, you know, doing something that feels meaningful to me, where I feel like I can bring my strengths and I can bring my full se self to the table and I can work alongside others that inspire me, that help me grow that, that just, you know, just feel great to work with.

And, and I want all of that. And I, I might, might want that in a leadership role or in an executive role or in a consultant role, whatever this looks like. But I want it, and I can say that I'm an introvert. I'm a, I'm a quiet person. I'm a shy person at times. I prefer deep work. I prefer time spent by myself.

And I can also say. I want that type of career. I want leadership. I want ownership. I want the big as projects. And so this is why I've created this space. This is why I've created this show, because I do recognize that there are more people out there who want exactly that same thing, and I wanna create that space for us.

I wanna bring conversations to life that empower you in wanting that and that give you the tools and. Yeah, give you the tools to pursue that in a way that feels doable and in a way that doesn't stretch you too far out of your comfort zone to overwhelm you or burn you out, but gives you just enough to step outside of your comfort zone, one step at a time, and, pursue something that feels.

Meaningful to you. So those are my field notes on introverts and what it feels like to be an introvert at work. Honestly, for most of my career, or for at least the early part of my career. If I could have switched and been an extrovert, I would've taken it, I would've taken that offer offer because I thought to myself, well, I do want, I'm, I am ambitious.

I am competitive. I do want a career. So I do recognize that that feels easier when you're extroverted. But today, especially the climate that we're in, if I see what's coming out there and I'm, I've also seen brilliant introverts. Completely kill it in the workplace, completely kill it in politics, completely kill it As, you know, celebrities and famous people, I'm pretty proud and I feel like I fully embraced that part of me.

And I wanna get you to a point where you feel exactly the same way where you are. Go. There is something about my introspection that is so, so powerful that I can use to my advantage and that I will build my career with not against it. And so, yeah, I hope this is something that you can come back with. I hope that this is something that gives you comfort, that maybe even helps you talk about your introversion and articulate your introspection in a way that feels like you.

And if that's the case, then I'm happy. Thank you so much for tuning in, and I'll see you next week.